(Be gentle, /tg/. It's my first quest.)You stir from your sleep, Gnarls Barkley playing at a mezzo forte on the alarm clock mere inches from your face. Slapping it with the palm of your hand, you sulkily drift out of bed and get dressed. You set your alarm again, and then wander into the half-lit bathroom. Looking into the mirror, you see a blur of your reflection, blinking heavily until your vision is restored to normal.>It’s a male in the mirror.>It’s a female in the mirror.
>female in mirror
>>28028860Staring back is a male, early twenties, scruffy unkempt chestnut brown hair and a 5 o'clock shadow.
>be nonbinary transracial pansequal quasihuman otherkin in the mirror
>>28028860>>It’s a male in the mirror.> inbeforeeveryonegoesforbeingalittlegirlagain
>>28028969>>28028991>>28028997You’re a handsome, 22-year old male. Dark brown hair, light facial hair. You really should shave, you know.Now, your name. What’s your name, handsome?
>>28028860>It’s a male in the mirror.
>>28028860There's nobody in the mirror.I remember that I'm just an automaton gained sentience.
>>28029039>You’re a handsome, 22-year old maleFuckOur name is Darvin Darwin
>>28029047That would be interesting actually.
>>28029047Now that would be an interesting concept.
>>28029039You should probs use a trip
>>28029047I second this
>>28029047I third/fouth this.
>>28029118This anon is a Beserker Packin Man and half 12.0 on a 10.0 scale of badness with Hueg Guts
>>28029047>>28029094>>28029095>>28029102>>28029120Well, democracy wins out, I suppose.You blink again, and in a flash, the lights go out, the mirror cracks, and the handsome human face in the mirror is now replaced by a odd-looking android face.You sigh, before walking back into the filthy room you imagined was your home. Sitting on top of the dresser is a cell phone, and a door to your far left beckons.>Check the phone for contacts>Leave the room
>>28029184>leave room, report to work
>>28029184Grab and check the phone while we leave the room
>>28029184>leave the room.
>>28029201secondedThere's no reason we couldn't do both of these things
>>28029184Well I was more along the lines of thinking the empty cockpit of the mecha was staring at the mirror, but this works.Check myself for contacts (I am a phone, why would I need one?)
>>28029184>an odd looking android faceI think the idea was the mecha itself was alive, thats why "noboy in the mirror" but this is okay.>Check the phone for contacts
>>28029201You pocket the cell phone, heading outside.You're met with a view of the whole city; you were in a fairly tall building, and at the top of it, for that matter. You begin to walk down the decrepit stairs, and about halfway down, you pull the phone out from your pocket and look through it.Contacts:HarleyAntigoneKaneTimothyBradleyJacobMatthewJennifer>>28029253(I'm still pretty shitty at this, bear with me.)
>>28029286As we walk to work, we wonder what those people mean to us and if any of them pop out.That one person maybe. . .
>>28029286I didn't mean that offensively by any means. I'm enjoying it so far.
>>28029286some background on the NPCS would be nice, also where do we work, what do we do? Am I wearing a nice suit or am I shitty welder bot 4000?
>>28029259>>28029281We can alwaks talk to our mecha in person (or machine).>>28029286Not alphabetical order? Maybe by interest. Think who Harely means to us.
>>28029319>>28029349Seconding these. Nothing slows our purpose to work, but we didn't gain sentience by not thinking. Who are these people we share "contact" with?
>>28029319You can't seem to attach any memories to any of these names, but maybe it'll come back to you soon. You pocket the phone and finish walking all the way down the stairs, and you're now at the bottom of the building.>>28029332You're currently wearing a peacoat that's a little too big for you, over a raggedy old T-shirt you found on the floor. You're wearing a decent-looking pair of slacks, with some nice shoes on your feet. Decent outfit for the cold weather outside.>>28029349Thinking a little harder about Harley, you vaguely remember a retail store about a block and a half away from here. It's not much to go on, but it's something.>Head to the retail store>Do some exploring first
>>28029409>Open ended choicesLook back hard and well, aren't we programmed for something?If not, lets do some exploring Johnny 5 style.
>>28029409>Decent outfit for the cold weather outside.Or so we're told, if only we could feel cold.>Do some exploring first
>we're an automaton>mechs are a thingBe the hustler one.Pilot the nine ball.Be the top ranked raven.
>>28029425You push the thoughts of Harley aside for the time being and get to thinking long and hard about your purpose. After about a moment, you realize that sentient androids probably don't happen too often, and you're having an unusual amount of trouble remembering anything prior to your newfound mental capacity.The most you're able to get out of thinking on it is that you're not a normal type of android. That much is certain to you.>>28029461After your existential crisis, you frown a bit and head to your left. Your internal compass lets you know that's south, and you carry on, step after step. Walking on, you hear a bit of commotion coming from an alley ahead. You trot up to the entrance to the alley, curious as to what's happening, when you see a man holding a man against the wall, punching him in the stomach. You feel a sick churning in your chest as you watch, and you're not sure whether to intervene or not.>Help the man>It's not your problem
>>28029510Toll the great bell once!
>>28029519loom like a motherfucker. Make your eyes red.One of them will start explaining themselves to you. If they don't, our intimidation circuit must be broken.
>>28029519I have no purpose to intereven. . .yet, I have never felt this, thing before. I must find out why>Help the man
>>28029573>>28029580These, in that order failing the first.
>>28029573>>28029580Compassion floods your senses, and without realizing it, you can feel yourself lumbering towards the two men at an alarming speed."Who the fuck are you?" The attacker says, a twinge of fear illuminating his eyes.Speaking of illumination, you can see a red hue coating the walls, stemming from your two crimson eyes. The man sees this and swings his arm out to punch you.Roll 1d100 to avoid getting hit and to counterattack.
Rolled 55>>28029635Fear does not compute
Rolled 32>>28029635use FIST CRUSHING FACE techniqueA move unique to robots and other hard headed beings.By which I mean just stand there and watch as he eliminates his own fist on you.
Rolled 28>>28029635Counter with rocket punch!
>>28029661>>28029668>>28029673>>28029707Average roll of 31.75.You're a little rusty, as luck would dictate. You're socked square in the forehead, lacing your vision with static momentarily. Fortunately, the other guy came out of this a little worse than you: his hand breaks in a cacophony of painful crunches as he recoils and falls to the ground, skittering away like a cockroach with the lights on. You restore your vision, and the victim is still standing there.>"Are you okay?">"You're okay now."
Rolled 2>>28029635Swift Roundhouse to the head, hopefully the blunt force trauma will make him think twice
>>28029785"Query; status of subject 'victim'"
>>28029785>"You're okay now."SITUATION RESOLVED. Proceeding with previous mission.Whatever that was.
>>28029785Shit, we're doing it by averages this is gonna be tough.
>>28029785>>"Are you okay?"HOW ARE YOU FELLOW HUMAN?
>>28029827Previous mission is [redacted]
>>28029785>do a system check to see what allowed you to break The First Law.
>>28029921>implying we have the laws of roboticsWe're top of the line military hardware. If we need to kill a people, by golly, we'll do it.
>>28029843(I figured it'd be fair.)>>28029821>>28029878The man is shaking a bit as you approach, but he appears thankful, even if he's a little apprehensive about it."Are you well?" You ask him, vocal cords twanging. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. You look awfully familiar, friend, have we met before?" He wipes his nose, blood still freely flowing. "I think I may have seen you at my last job. Name's Brad."
>>28029955Search memory banks for Brad
>>28029955>familiar looking robotWell, I guess he might have seen us on a previous mission.Or one of of our make and model.Tell him we don't know. Unless we do know. What we do or do not know is really up to the QM.
>>28029955Huh, he's receptive enough. We've got a stroke of luck."You call me friend. I suppose that is who I am. Friend."
>>28030007Friend is fitting.
>>28029955"Unknown. This Unit's Memory Core was corrupted during Sentience. Subject 'Brad' indexed and cataloged. Have a Pleasant Day, Brad."
Our name is obviously a series of beeps and whistles.And/or modem noise.
Our name is obviously beeps and whistles. Or modem noise.Damn captcha eating posts
>>28030037I like you.
>>28029986You remember seeing Brad in your phone, though he's listed as Bradley.>>28030007>"You call me friend. I suppose that is who I am. Friend."Bradley nods. "You're an android, aren't you? I can tell. Pale-ass face, high cheekbones; I'm surprised that guy didn't recognize you at first."Bradley extends his hand for you to shake.>INITIATE SHAKE.exe>CANCEL
>>28030086>INITIATE SHAKE.exeTime to test our actuators and fine control manipulators....
>>28030086no reason not to shake his hand. Except for a misprogrammed SHAKE.exe. At which point we would crush his hand.Either way, follow up by telling him he's been indexed and catalogued.>>28030037
>>28030113Erm, let's just hope we don't end up crushing his hand.
Rolled 64>>28030086Grasp fleshy one's hand, proceed to vibrate entire body.
>>28030113>>28030127>"I don't remember who you are, Brad. I've indexed you for future reference, and will do my best to remember you should the need arise."You extend your hand and shake his, and he winces a bit. "Little tight there, bud." You loosen your grip and shake.Bradley slumps against the wall and lights a cigarette. "You w- oh, nevermind.">Take a cigarette>Don't>Smoking is unhealthy
>>28030200take cigarette.Place in mouth.Light filter.Smoke.Shoot sparks.
>>28030200>feed nicotine addiction it fuels your powercellsAsk where Brad was going
>>28030200It does nothing to me."Tell me brad, why was that man assaulting you"
>>28030200"Offer of carcinogens is appreciated, but unnecessary."then ask this; >>28030229
>>28030221>>28030228>"No, Brad, I'll take one. I might as well get accustomed to human habits."Brad hands you a cigarette and lights it for you.>"Why was that man attacking you, Brad?""You see, buddy, I'm not welcomed very warmly around these parts. I'm a member of the mobile mechanized infantry division currently occupying the town. Of course, I'm not very physically capable, because if I was, I would've punched that fucker-" Brad jabs the air in front of him, "-right in the fucking face." He shrugs. "Probably just some fuckin' Slav who wants me out of his country."
>>28030285Slavs dislike mechs. Indexing.Smoke without care for whether or not it will even interact with your parts.
>>28029955>(I figured it'd be fair.)(I tend to like the best of x system better because nobody likes rolling high and wasting it)
>>28030285>SlavHumor.exePerhaps he was in a fool mood because he lost his favorite track suit.
>>28030285"They want us out of this country, I think. All us mech boys."So we could ask brad directions back to HQ, or visit Harelys shop and learn more about ourselves, or. . .explore some more. Where should we go guys?
>>28030285scan memory banks for mechanized infantry division.If he thinks we're familiar, we might have been there. Or work there. Or be assigned to blow them up.
>>28030375>racist smoking robotI don't know why I like this so much
>>28030320I disagree. Cigarette smoke mixes up with dust to form sticky crap that is hard to dislodge from circuits.
>>28030379I want to get in the Mech and test out our abilities, so we should ask Brad where HQ is.
>>28030413Hence why I suggested sparking in an earlier post.Just wait until we drink a glass of water.
>>28030348(We'll do that, then.)>>28030320You continue to smoke the cigarette until it's just a little stub hanging out of your mouth, and then you toss it to the ground.>>28030382Recent usage of your memory banks have been bringing some stuff back to you. You look over to your shoulder, sliding your coat and shirt over. Stamped into your shoulder is:>NATO7720MMI ANDROID>DESIGNATION: PILOTYou ask Brad what it means, and he furrows his eyebrows for moment. "Dunno for sure. I know that MMI stands for mobile mechanized infantry, but I don't know 'bout no androids serving in any combat roles. Designation: Pilot means what you'd think it means: PIlots in any MMI division are always piloting mechs."You nod."Look, buddy, I'm gonna help you out a bit. I want you to head north 'till you hit that intersection, then head west. You'll find a MMI camp just up there. Make sure you're waving your arms above your head while you approach, or your ass is gonna be circuits faster than you can say '01011'. Alright, bud? Cool."He gives you another cigarette, lights it, and then you leave the alley, headed north.>Try to follow through on other leads>Head straight to the camp
>>28030413>>28030508"Shit, forgot that I'm not human"
>>28030508>>28030413As an android, we probably have a fake hollow digestive system to pretend to eat food and stuff.For common courtesy you know. Also protects our actual parts from dust and shit.
>>28030455>#This isn't twitter cunt
>>28030515>Head straight to the campRobots wearing robots
>>28030515Head on down to the MMI division.CROSS REFERENCE: bradley is on our LIST OF CONTACTS, and we just met a bradley. They are probably the same guy.The other contacts are most likely other people at the MMI division.
>>28030515go to camp while processing 01011 repeatedly as fast as possible, silly organic limitations and idiomatic expressionscreate contingency plan for murdering Brad, store as Insurance.exe, repeat for every organic met
>>28030515Continue personal investigations.Head to the retail store.Also; Preform a full inventory check. Do we have any currency, paperwork and or information?
>>28030565Why must you be so cynical?Why can't we just think out what does a burger taste like. A silly robot sounds more fun to play.
>>28030597we can do both! Our advanced brain is capable of many things.though, we really don't need much of a plan so far. It seems that we just need to drop ourselves on them from a height, given relative structural integrity.
>>28030597>Not having a plan to kill everyone you meetI bet you're not even polite and efficient, wanker.Killing's a good job.
>>28030551>>28030562>>28030565>>28030584You head down to MMI, checking your pockets (and your capacity for murder) on the way. You have about 140 Russian Rubles on you, and a few US dollars. You reach the intersection, and you can see a mom-and-pop store at the corner.>Enter store>Disregard store and continue to camp>Look around the intersection a bit more
>>28030624Hey, I have a good plan:Get into a mech, shoot them.Next,Let's think about burgers.
>>28030624Great, next thing we'll be collecting helmets and storing waste oil in jars to throw at people.
>>28030638Quickly glance at it to see why it interests you?>>28030653>Not collecting piss off dead guysAmateur
>>28030648I want my burger to be a roburger.>>28030638>mom and pop shoreDo they sell junk, scrap, and upgrades? If so, investigate. If not, pass.Also, if they do, then I am going to assume this music is playinghttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAeuqwvjrhk
>>28030638Analyze store. Proceed with casual entry.
>>28030638>Enter store.If we are asked, we are a high class prostitute.
>>28030745no, we're a digger.
>>28030745If propositioned, the price is always "higher than you can afford"
>>28030745How about no.
>>28030755A gold digger?
>>28030745Nah, ask if they have any chimichangas
Investigate, ignore silly anons. We're being silly.
>>28030696>>28030724>>28030735>>28030745There's not much in the store. It would seem that the MMI has either purchased everything, or acquired it through less honorable means. The man at the counter greets you enthusiastically."Hello there, sir. Welcome. If you need any help, let me know.">"Thanks."You peruse the shelves in search of anything useful, and find the following:>Cigarettes (96 руб)>Coca-Cola (30 руб)>Mars Bar (25 руб)>Raincoat (128 руб)
>>28030817Buy nothing, leave, head back to base
>>28030817damn cigarettes are expensive. But I mysteriously crave them for some reason.
>>28030817>>Mars Bar (25 руб)Buy the mars bar and use it to bribe people later.
>>28030843yeah, I can get behind a mars bar. They're not that expensive, and we can stick it in a machinegun if we want it to fail.
Rolled 46>>28030817calculate probability of successfully robbing the store
>>28030817>The man at the counter greets you enthusiastically.Either we don't look like MMIHe knows, and is afraidOr he's in cahoots with our forces>>28030857>>28030843You never know, might as well show some patronage. Then it's off to the base.
>>28030883ignore the murderbot subroutine. We'll use him when it's finally time to kill all humans. In 2042. On april 23. At 3:14 PM.
>>28030843>>28030857Grabbing a Mars bar, you bring it up to the counter and hand it to the cashier."That'll be 20 Rubles, sir."You hand over the money, and he hands you back the Mars bar. You stick it in the breast pocket of your peacoat and thank him before departing for the MMI camp.Ten minutes or so later, you hear someone ahead of you yelling."PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP!">Put hands up>Run away
>>28030919Take of left hand, raise it in air with right.
>>28030919Are they even pointing a gun at us?
>>28030919>Put hands upLet's see who's actually saying that
>>28030932oh, wait, ignore that, this is the military base people. I already forgot.Raise your hands. Don't raise your hands with the mars bar. That's our mars bar. They can't have it.
>>28030919Slowly put our hands up while asking if he has anything to drink on him.
>>28030950>>28030955Raising your hands slowly (sans Mars bar), you take short steps towards the base.>"Excuse me, sir, do you have anything to drink?"The man looks to his side and waves his hand around a bit, obviously signaling somebody else in-base. Three men run towards you, guns in hand, though not pointed."If you keep your hands up, you'll be fine, just listen to us.">"Yessir.""Come on into the base with us. I'm gonna need your name and ID, though.">Show shoulder>Hide it
>>28031000"I wasn't issued an ID card. Special case.Get me inside, and they'll scan me right away."
>>28031000>>Show shoulderNot much choice here.Ask them for a smoke while they probe us.
Rolled 94>>28031000go with them, calculate durability of self vs their weapons
>bumming smokes>asking for drinks>storing mars bars
>>28031034>>28031046You figure you're fucked if you don't produce any ID, so you slip your clothes open and show them your shoulder.>"By the way, you have any cigarettes?" The three of them look at each other, puzzled, and then they motion towards the camp. "It's Keegan, guys. Let's bring him to the CO.">"I take that as a no?"They begin to walk you towards the camp, not restraining you or anything.>>280310540.03% chance of survival if you attack them
>>28031034>>28031046yeah, it's pretty much how we can get through this.
>>28031115Hey we asked for a cigarette here. They could give us at least an answer.And where is our drink? If we don't have a drink soon we are going berserk.
>>28031142I don't think we actually need either of those things
>>28031179We're a robot obsessed with pretending to be human, get with the picture
>>28031142Well there is need and then there is need. Our robot body may not need these, but human behavior is good for our mental health.
>>28031142>"Hey, am I gonna get some cigarettes, or what?"One of the guys yells up to the camp."Hey Rutter, it's Keegan! Get him some smokes!""Smokes? The fucker's an android, what do you mean?""Just fucking do it!">"And something to drink?""Get him some water, too!"
maybe we picked up smoking from our creator.
>>28031232>"Get him some water, too!"What? Do they take us for a bloody peasant?I meant something a wee bit stronger than that, of the gut burning variety.
>>28031115data on "Rutter" not found, ask if he is new to this outfit. Request to see personal service record.
>>28031237Our creator was a chain smoker and an alcoholic. Died from both lung cancer and a bad liver.Been obsessed with bad human habits and vice every since.
Hey all, OP here.I hope you're enjoying this quest so far, because I'm enjoying running it.Unfortunately, I've gotta head to bed for now. What should I do to insure that I can pick up where we left off?
>>28031294either set a date and time and stick to it, or produce a twitter.
>>28031294create a twitter account, tweet when you going to start the quest againand make sure this thread is archived in suptg
>>28031294Run it same time tommorow.What was it, 6 pm est I think. Or round thereof.Thread'll live 'til then.
>>28031294>Wants to play a game about mechas>We make the character Bender and derail it a bit>Enjoying itI like your style.
>>28031338bender is a perfectly serviceable mecha pilot.Especially if bender is also hustler one.
>>28031314>>28031317And so, Twitter it was.Here's the link for anyone who wants to know, I suppose.https://twitter.com/AndMechQuest
>>28031481Thanks, have you setup on my phone now. It was fun, until next time.
>>28031481wonderful. Resuming lurk procedures.