what are you thinking of doing with the innkeeper? Loveable quirky NPC who hands out the occasional plot hook or quest? Or possible foe for the party to beat down

>>27773168
Well, he really doesn't care much for anything save for keeping his emperor's tomb safe, so unless they start seriously digging up underneath the inn, I think he'll stick pretty firmly to the former.

Convince the city officials that maybe it's not in their best interest to expand the sewer right under the inn.

Recover the papers and documents that establish the inn as a sovereign nation, to get rid of pesky tax collectors.

Deal with a rampant fire-using mage.

Solve a string of murders where people close by are devoured out of their flesh, as if they were attacked by land piranhas or some of those strange scarab beetles from the desert.

Solve the mystery of why anyone that enters room 204 gets a terrible curse bestowed on them.

>>27773123
An councilman is trying to have the building destroyed as a safety hazard.

>>27773123
Start a rumor at a different inn about this 'lost tomb'.

The party is hired to retrieve a lost crown from the ruins of a fallen and forgotten kingdom, now swallowed by the sands of time. If they do some research, they learn that the crown is a powerful ancient artifact, one that grants its wielder power beyond imagining, enough to shape the nations of the world in his or her whim: naturally, many others are interested in it, and the group will have to fight many battles to acquire it and think hard about where to put it or whom to give it.

If they do end up giving it to the old innkeeper, he will acknowledge the crown's power, but add that he really has no such aspirations. He will then proceed to spend some time just watching the crown dreamily, with a happy smile on his face like he had been reunited with an old friend. Once snapped out of it, he will pay the group what he owes, which is plenty.

Spice runs

The innkeeper wants spices and herbs, old spices and herbs that no longer grow in the region, and he has a crate of weird old golden coins he's willing to give anyone who can bring him a years supply of the spices and herbs he wants.

Just don't try to steal the crate... ever

Small cult forms round the inn; adventurers asked to monetize it by organising it into an exclusive members' club.

Sudden craze about the mummy's old mead knowledge and drinks making; turns out he's adding drugs to the drink "just like we used to"

Competitors offer to sell franchising rights to the pub

The Emperor wakes up; takes charge of the inn; is terrible at finances

>>27773481
Such a mission always breeds a whole bunch of rumors, and soon a band of thieves will attempt to take for themselves some of the supposed great wealth of this little inn, guarded by an unassuming innkeeper.

Afterwards, the party is hired to track them down and just give them this one golden scarab beetle. That's all. Make sure it ends up in the hand of one of them, then come back.

>>27773462
I like this one.

>>27773429
What's so unsafe about it?

No innkeeper keeps his Inn forever. At least, no innkeeper that isn't a deathless guardian. Every fifty to sixty years or so, the Innkeeper must find a way to both fake the death of his latest persona and convincingly establish a new one to avoid rousing suspicion and inviting unwanted scrutiny.

Can he bring the party into his confidence to aid him in this task?
Captcha: trieaust not

However magical his disguise, nothing can stop the mummy's smell, requiring him to acquire expensive magical scent-removers to block what he calls his "bad breath". His supply is running out, and he hires the party to get him some more.

I imagine the mummy could almost be like a repeating quest-giver from a computer RPG.

Do enough odd jobs for him and he might, MIGHT give you some of the amazing treasures from the tomb.

You really need to earn it though, and asking directly will ensure that you never get anything

>>27774449
He only ever says one line...

>Return my slab, or suffer my curse

>>27774528

Stupid dog. You make me look bad.

Oh my god...this HAS to happen!

inb4 one of your party crits on a check and goes all murderhobo on the nice old innkeeper

>>27774840
Depending on what level the party starts, he might just end up getting himself killed with that.

Or simply thrown out.

How does he feel about paladins?

>>27776303
Oh yeah. He had a few back in the day. Still does, actually, but the incantations didn't take. Shame. Would have been hard to run an inn with undying guardians flanking him wherever he went tho.
So yeah, no biggie.
Bonus points if a pc is revealed to be oneof their descendants.

>>27776920
>Bonus points if a pc is revealed to be oneof their descendants.

It's apparently been millennia. A bit hard to tell by this point.

>>27773123
>strange but delicious food you don't get from anywhere else, clean rooms with no vermin
These two things... They aren't linked, are they? Like... you can eat insects, right? And if the innkeeper has some level of control over insects (which might be possible if he can lay curses of vermin on people) then the insects may just be the solution to two problems: how you keep the rats down, and how you feed the customers.

>>27777475
>you can eat insects, right?

Yes. They're actually pretty good, and if everyone in the world ate insects of cows and stuff, we'd all be much better off.

this idea is bloody brilliant

I shall add it to the world I am already working on, I've already got the city state planned in the world where I can incorporate this idea perfectly

I've been wondering what I could use to explain why the city state has managed to become so successful and remain independent despite its larger neighboring countries.

Its been the innkeeper all along, using his knowledge of long lost empire for the benefit of the city state to keep things as they are so that the tomb will never be discovered

all I need now is to think of ways how the players might realize this

>>27777696
Drop hints that he's been giving strange tips and information to the people in charge. Mention how he's friends with many of them, and how his advice is usually oddly good.

Party cleans some rats in the basement, finds strange archeological writings.

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Realistically speaking, the mummy would just seem like a weird foreigner with unusual customs. He could probably convince the stupid everyman that his bandages are a "full body turban" and wear proper clothing over that. Maybe nobody ever sees him eating or drinking anything. Maybe he always seems awake and ready to provide service at the front desk. Maybe he has a weird tendency to bring up preserving old plots of land or buildings at town gatherings. So long as he is useful and not rude, I can see a fantasy realm excusing such an unusual individual, save for the more superstitious types.

Unless he has distinct mummy powers (whatever those may be) or that distinct mummy smell, he could very easily blend in with a town. I doubt he would be a quirky lelsorandumb character either, as that would attract more attention than he's already receiving. If anything, he would act as ordinary or formal as possible.

>A local noble is demanding the inn be formally signed over to him, as he owns every building in the town save for that one. The party can work for the noble, work for the innkeeper or work out a deal between them. If they work for the noble, he will die of a mysterious locust-related accident later.

>The local town children believe Mr. Mumsford is actually a mummy. The party can inspect his habits, finding he never eats, sleeps or leaves the inn for any reason. They can either cause the story to catch on in the town, keep it just a childish myth or dispel it entirely. You can even recruit a holyman to visit town and storm the inn, burning the entire place down.

>The party stays in a room and finds an infestation of extinct carnivorous instincts in it. After surviving (presumably,) the innkeeper apologies greatly and asks for their help in clearing the bugs out. The process includes shirtless chanting, sacrificing a goat and praising the sun.

>The emperor in the basement is actually a lich and has dark plans for the town above. The innkeeper would prefer the town stay alive (since he likes them,) but is totally loyal to his emperor. Figure out how to resolve the issue, but be warned: hurting the emperor will force the innkeeper to put his life on the line defending him.

>>27778494
>The local town children believe Mr. Mumsford is actually a mummy.

Why would they think that? I'd imagine zombie or ghost or witch would come to mind first.

>>27778505
Maybe, but kids love parallels. If his current persona's name really is Mumford, then mummy is the variety of undead they'll jump for first.

>>27778505
Oh god.
He gets burned as the wrong type of supernatural creature.
>Everyone goes to the inn with garlic and stakes
>Mumsford seems confused

>>27778651
>>Everyone goes to the inn with garlic and stakes
he asks whats going on and tells them thanks for the garlic. his recipes have been needing some spice lately.

>>27773954
That's the mystery, as far as anyone can determine from examination of the records the pace has never once failed to pass a safety inspection. Pretty Much everybody suspects the councilman is just using it as an excuse for a land grab.

How does his inn get light and warmth, anyway? It's not like there could be any torches or candles or fireplaces, what with how they could so easily set him on fire.

>>27780277
Magic heat lamps. Inside glass globes.

>>27778651
It's a good thing mummies are such an obscure creature.

>>27781356
I thought burning a mummy didnt kill it as they could reform

bump

>>27781372
You need to kiss it and embrace it while you plunge the dagger to its back. Then it will die.

>>27781356
If your not in a desert or steppe then yeah they would be obscure as fuck. Only thing about mummies is the wrapping, the odd spices smell, and the fact the organs have been separated from their bodies into usually jars. Power wise they got potent curses, fear aura, and have magic usually involving scarabs, sun, or sand possibly more. Not to mention being nearly as good at not getting lost as minotaurs at least in their domain. Plus knowing all the secrets and booby traps there as well.

>>27787586
>If your not in a desert or steppe

This is a good question, actually: where -is- the city? What sort of terrain is it set on? I don't think it ever actually came up, and there'd be a lot things different depending on whether it's in the smack-middle of a desert or in a deep forest, or maybe a path through a mountain range.

>>27788385
Considering he's a mummy, it's probably desert.

>>27788385
>>27789690
Or at least *was* a desert, way back when. Even non-magical ways exist to green a desert.

>>27790577
Still, though, it'll limit the terrain choices somewhat.

>>27773123
Haven't read the rest of the thread yet, but already I love this.

>>27777347
Magic.

Actually, that could be kinda cool. He generally ignores PC-type characters, but focuses on one person/party. Because Magic, he knows one of them is the eldest male in his line, and is heir to the throne of the old kingdom. He pits the hero against increasingly dangerous tests to get him ready for the great test within the pyramid that will prove him the rightful heir, and bestow upon him incredible divine power.

>>27778494
Don't be silly anon, if Mummies don't coach softball then they definitely don't open taverns.

>>27773123
>Emperor's Rest Inn
Niiiiiice. I always considered the undead to have the most original sense of humour.

There's a great deal of magical power seeping up from under the pyramid, and every few decades (because of Astrological coincidences or something) it'll have some great magical effect. Swarms of Locusts upon all the non-believers, the dead rising in order to perform a strange, circle-based ceremony, the rivers turning to blood (attracting vampires), people with pure enough bloodline of the Slaves turn into animals or half/animals, etc.

The innkeeper knows this will happen, and hopes to prevent it or make ready for it, but he has lost track of when it will occur. He sends the players on a quest for some old star-charts, and then after consulting them has them go find some artifact that will suppress the pyramid's power.

>>27795383
Very cool concept, but it puts the spotlight on one player/PC over everyone else, so other players could get annoyed. If you do this, make sure to have plot hooks where the other PCs are the focus to avoid pettiness.

>>27795729
Maybe there's more to it? Eg, one PC is the rightful heir, the rest are all reincarnations/decedents of the captain of the guard, high priest, grand wizard, etc.

>>27796401
Sounds like they all get a fair amount of attention from the recurring NPC quest giver. Now you're talking.

>>27796401
There'd be way more than just magic involved in having them all coincidentally adventuring like that.

>>27796582
A prophesy!

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>>27797243

"In time immemorial, you swore an oath of unity and guardianship over this land. Destiny has called you forth once more, for though its people may have changed, the Kingdom of the Sun is eternal."

I love this and want it to happen.

>>27796582
The Mummy knows this, and has tracked the bloodlines. He put a lot of effort (like, multiple generations of effort) into getting the bloodlines, ages, and genders just right to remake the royal household. Maybe once they were all born, he made sure to keep them in the city, one way or another, until one day they were all in his bar at the same time.

Plot hook: He's done this before, but the last group weren't quite right. Either corrupt, not powerful enough, or the bloodlines weren't quite in the right places. They're still around, now old and decrepit. They have a lot of secrets and can tell the PC's much, although whether they'll be happy to find out about the manipulation is up for debate.

>>27773123

You could leave a bunch of little hints to pique the players' curiosities.

Constantly repeat that the inn smells of strange spices.

Have children and NPCs mention something about feeling uneasy when near the innkeeper.

Make sure he is adequately pensive around things like fire (even the smallest candle flame or match being enough to cause him to noticeably flinch).

If the players ever attempt detect allingment/magic/etc. near/inside the inn, tell them that an eerie, overwhelming power floods their senses.

Have patrons treat the innkeeper poorly and have them show up as victims of terrible curses.

If the rogue sneaks around too much, have him find strange cursed relics and sealed jars with animal heads engraved upon the lids.

If there are any remnants of the old nations that once battled with the Pharo's kingdom, have the innkeeper tempt the party into reeking vengeance upon them.

Maybe if there's a Paladin or Cleric in the party, the representatives of their deity in town tell them about all the bad vibes that the inn gives off?

>>27800343
>Have patrons treat the innkeeper poorly and have them show up as victims of terrible curses.
A thief steals from the inn and is discovered torn apart by jackals.
A successful Knowledge (nature) check will reveal that said species of jackal has been extinct for thousands of years.

>>27795383
>>27776920

The lights of the Lazy Lordship have dimmed- it's late enough that Eddie made his rounds during one bout of drunken reminisce to douse the lights the group wasn't using. But out of deference, perhaps to the task they'd performed, perhaps just because the story was good, he'd kept the lamps above the bar and at their table going.

Well, "Eddie." Zhar-Et Uldumean, to give him the name that had been on the ivory deathmask. There hadn't been time to tell the group back in the vaults, but there had been one hell of a row by the campfire when old Gareth revealed that kindly Eddie's 'heirloom' was the deathmask of an emperor a thousand years dead and gone. One whose personal sigil matched the one on the inn's sign.

But Eddie had thanked them, and he'd paid them in full, and when the subject had been delicately broached he'd laughed. "Oh, no, keep it, keep it. Not like I'm getting much use of it these days."

And now, with the scaly hulk of Ralthas curled up in a corner, and little Ikri at his side, Vanaphyr caught the eye of the man she'd spent years trying to catch the eye of, and was a little pleased that the same jolt of recognition still fired in his eyes as the day he'd first caught on what she meant by it.

As the rogue made his excuses to hurry up, Eddie chuckled, as he always did. But once he was well away to prepare the room, there was a change to the script. As Vanaphyr started in on her evening prayer, there wasn't the usual soft shuffle of Eddie cleaning.

"Pardon, my dear. Won't take a moment."

>>27801833

And there it was. She'd never made physical contact with Eddie before- there'd never been a reason. He'd always been graceful, never so much as bumping into a patron. And now she understood why. All the years of training, all the light of Pelor within her, SCREAMED the warning they'd never been able to before, held off by magic whose power and provenance she was probably one of the only human beings in the world who knew. Her eyes could tell her the same inoffensive old innkeeper had just put thumb and forefinger to her chin- her soul knew what touched her was abomination, something that cheated death through powers forbidden, something that retained its will and dread purpose down all the millenia, and whose destruction was not only requested it was DEMANDED.

Only the lateness of the hour and the strength of the drink stopped her from smiting the mummy where he stood before he stepped back, hands raised in apology.

"I am sorry." The voice did not have its typical warm rumble- some rasp of the years had found its way in. "I should have remembered. Ptah Lor has no love for me." The well-worn smile on Eddie's face had a self-mocking twist to it. "But I am curious about something. I mean you no harm."

He approached once more, and while Vanaphyr's hand went to the dagger at her side, she allowed the touch. It was a curious feeling, unlike the touch of a trainer, a lover, or a foe- there was inhuman strength being carefully restrained behind Zhar-Et's slow motions. He moved her chin first one way, then another, his eyes flickering over the bridge of her nose, the shape of her jawline, the ridge of her cheekbones. "Fascinating."

The paladin kept her face carefully neutral. "What, Zhar-Et?"

"Please, please, dear lady. I much prefer Eddie these days. Zhar-Et was an unpleasant old man with unpleasant old plans who died quite unpleasantly to preserve them. I like to think all that's left of the poor fool is in trinkets like the one you brought me back."

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Will he get into a fight with the Rock?

>>27802143
10/10

>>27802143
MMMMOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!!

>>27802143
"Well, I tell a lie. Not all."

At that, Vana raised a scarred brow. "Let me guess. 'Vana, I am your father?'" Ever since the damn bard had written his damn song, the men pressing to ask for her hand (or other parts of her) had been joined by a host of elderly men claiming to be her long-lost father. The part of her that holy orders had not entirely beaten into silence had a tendency to ask "where the hell were of you when I was six, I could have used you then" in the silence of her head on such occasions.

But at that note of irritated sarcasm, the old laugh returned. Softer than normal- so as not to wake the guests- but for the first time since he'd touched her she saw Eddie, not Zhar-Et standing before her. "Oh, praise all the gods, no. There are probably a few of those lying around, but remember what I said just now about our mutual acquaintance being a very unpleasant man? He never spent enough time with his family to remember what they looked like while he lived, let alone a thousand years down the line."

He shuffled back towards the bar, putting the last bits and pieces away. "No, you put me in mind of someone far more dear to that poor man's memory. Bodyguard. Saved his life three times." Eddie cleaned a glass absentmindedly, his gaze suddenly a million miles away. "Promised him anything in Zhar-Et's power to grant in exchange, and he asked to go home to his family. Of course he told him no- couldn't waste a talent like that- and even on his deathbed the selfish bastard didn't dare face eternity without the closest thing he ever had to a friend. For his loyalty his family got a pile of gold, but he got poison in the night and embalmed before his flesh could cool. All so he could serve his boss forever- whether he wanted to or not."

Vana said nothing.

Eddie looked up. "Didn't take, of course. He's buried with the rest of what were supposed to be my undying servants. Always what happened to his family."

"Funny how things work out sometimes."

>>27802562
fucking hell, should be "always wondered what happened to his family," whoops

>>27802562
The story had been sweet, but Vana was tired, and at the limits of her patience. "Funny indeed. Look. Ronach's waiting on me. Have any other stories, or can I trust you to close the place up?"

Eddie smiled the same little half-smile as before, and said a few words in the old tongue. Vana didn't bother asking, just stared at him unamused for a long second until he cracked.

"Ruin an old man's fun, why don't you." Eddie set his hands in an archaic posture atop the stool he usually sat in. "Go then to your beloved, warrior, and may your loins serve you as well as your arm has served me."

The stare went from unamused to "what" rapidly.

"It sounds a little less dirty in the old tongue. Have a good night, child."

"...good night, Eddie."

The last light went out shortly thereafter. And there may have been some soft commotion from one of the rooms.

And downstairs, Zhar-Et Uldumean sat- unblinking, unmoving, unbreathing.

What was left of his true face was incapable of any expression, frozen in a skeletal smile for all eternity. But perhaps, for once in his long existence, it mirrored the feelings of the man who bore it.

>>27801833
>>27802143
>>27802562
>>27802937

For the love of God, someone screencap this.

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here you go anon

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>>27803235

You have my eternal love anon.

>>27802184
The "NOOOOOOO!!!" that Imhotep makes right there is always the funniest thing ever.

>>27803235
>>27803270
You two might want to take a closer look at that.

>>27803919
I don't get it

Plot hooks stolen

>>27805471
A deadly curse of seven generations upon thee, thieffff...!

>>27805471
>>27805648
A plague on both your houses! A plague on both your houses!

>>27803235

The last post is repeated twice.
Fix it.

>>27805911
No, it's only repeated once. Or said twice.

>>27802937
>>27802562
>>27802143
>>27801833
....
Well, that happened...

Definately stealing OP's idea and incorporating it in to the campaign setting my party have been building on going for years now.

Ace idea, OP, 9/10.

>>27805911
If you want to fix something right, do it yourself.

>>27806382
You're just lazy.

>>27802988

So is Zhar-Et the emperor or the guardian mummy?

>>27807782
I think he's the Emperor.

That makes it slightly better.

The Idea that an Emperor sits down and prefers the life of a barkeep is pretty touching.

>>27807885
A good further hook might be to leave it ambiguous, but my idea when writing it was that some big ol' magical cataclysm went off that awoke the emperor but none of his servants a couple centuries after he died. I think he tried to rebuild what he could but discovered it's really fucking hard and he also knew nothing about how to motivate people without a treasury to pay them or an army to murder them with. The inn plan started as a "I will learn the ways of this strange new age" and then twenty years into the first successful one he was all "hey, this is actually a lot more rewarding than ruling ever was" and decided to stick with it.

>>27808685
This rises a potential new plot hook.

Over the decades and centuries, he's been trying to awaken some of his old servants, to help him out in the inn and see some old faces. This is difficult, time-consuming, and requires a bunch of rare and expensive materials, which he now needs the party to go and get since he is about to raise a few more of his old buddies.

One of those is his archmage, or vizier, or whatever, that highly disapproves of his new profession, and will try to get him to return to the conquering business.

>>27806299
You know what I meant.

I'll take the curse and flee with this idea.

>>27808954
that sounds like a Great idea for a cheesy Sitcom "Our little Resting Place: Zhat-Et, the Archmage and us"
The former Emperor Zhat-Et, rose from the dead some hundred years ago and was shocked that his former empire crumbled into nothingness, so he build an in over his Tomb, right on a new trade-route. His Inn prospered, and at over the years a sprawling new city was established around his Inn.
Over the years, he ban to prefer the quite and simple life of an Innkeeper, but deep down still missed his Old friend and adviser, the Archmage Rakesh-Mar, who he knew since his Childhood. He passed only months before him, both well into their late 60s at their death, but somehow the "resurrection" spell that woke him, even thou some thousand years to late, didn't work on Rakesh-Mar.After waiting all this time he Finally decides that he has to take matters into his own hands, but quickly discovers that he isn't capable of it anymore.
[Pilot] So he "hires" a group of neighborhood Orphans (All around 14-16) to find the spell and some rare ingredients in a secret underground-library not to far away. They succeed without any problems and he can resurrect his old Friend Rakesh-Mar.
[cont]

>>27812925
Zhat-Et would take them under his wing and teach them how to be good kids, and these "Adventurers" would then go out and have Scoobe-Doo like missions, helping out in the neighborhood, only that mundane things would turn out to be supernatural: Farmer Roberts price-winning Pumpkins weren't smashed by envious competitors, but a gigantic Larvae of a Terror-Moth hatched and busted out. They would also have a animal side-kick, a psychic Cat that Zhatty gave them to hem them on their quests.
Meanwhile Rakesh-Mar struggles with the adaptation to this new time and wants to reestablish the empire, much to Zhat-Ets dissmay.
So Zhat-Et has to struggle to balance a group of adventurous Kids, his old friend and a Inn, but at the end of the day everything would turn out good and everybody would have earned a invaluable live-lesson.

>>27812925
>>27812938
This is pretty good.

>>27773123
I kinda did this once. DnD campaign, the PCs stumbled across this inn once, small place, older human dude was the innkeeper and bartender, the cook was an elf dude, and the waitress/maid was a half-orc chick.

Well, they liked the place and made it a sort of impromptu base. And one time, they escaped from a bandit horde and tried to hide out there. The bandits followed them... and so the retired human ranger, elf wizard, and half-orc barbarian tore the horde apart and kicked the party's asses for making trouble at their inn.

BASICALLY they were an old adventuring party who retired when the half-orc's husband, the party leader, died when they fought a dragon. They had a huge ass horde hidden in a sub-basement, and later on they gave the party some kickass gear out of it.

>>27817567
Well, a veteran adventurer running an inn is nothing new.

>>27820725
It's still pretty cool and hard to mess up.

OP here.

This thread's still alive? I'm impressed: I thought it would've died in a couple hours.

Thanks for some great ideas.

>>27802937
>"It sounds a little less dirty in the old tongue."

this..a thousand times this...have the innkeeper make constant comments or proverbs that make no sense in the modern language but always have him follow it up, "Its funnier in the old tongue" or "It makes more sense in the old tongue". of course make no mention that the old tongue has been dead for a few thousand years and have him just wave it off that its sayings his mother taught him. maybe a scholar type could make heads or tails of it if they hear him speak in his original old language. that would require a bunch of skill tests and a lot of research for the scholar to even realise its a dead language

innkeeper-May you fornicate with the mouth of a goat.

party-wait..what?

innkeeper sighing with exaspiration-It makes more sense in the old tongue

there has been a sudden upswing in undead nasties coming up from the sewers and terrorising the city. Unfortinatly they are all coming from the ancient tomb.

Something has entered the city-some powerful necromancer or what not, and is drawing them from their slumber.

the innkeeper is doing his best to keep them contained but due to the wording of his oath he is unable to bring his full power to bear on the rising undead. As a side complication it can appear that the undead are focused coming from a sewer system that seems to originate from an abandoned tunnel that links right under the inn so rumors and suspicions arise that the innkeper is to blame for the infestaion.

exaspirated the innkeeper call upon the adventurers to find whats really causing the undead to stir and put an end to it.

bump

>>27834609
What's stopping the innkeeper from going in and murdering the necromancer himself? He's defiling the tomb, after all.

>>27834609
"I hope you defile his anus."
"...Wait what?"
"It sounds less naughty in the old tongue."

>>27773954
It's on top of a tomb? Dead bodies and fresh food don't exactly go well together.

>>27839621
But no one knows about it. That's the whole point: he put up the inn as a disguise in order to stop everyone from exploring too far into where they shouldn't.

>>27839621
I dunno, Paris seems to do okay.

>>27839656
I'm sure he has the kitchen and pantry right directly in the tomb with this old liege's dead body. Jesus how can people be so fucking stupid?

>>27840058
That gives me an idea.

The city sewers have been mentioned several times. What if they were there already when the city was built on top of it, catacombs full of corpses that were put to a new use? The innkeeper doesn't particularly like the people not respecting these dead too much, but he's only assigned to protect the tomb of his emperor specifically, and couldn't do anything on such a larger scale if he wanted.

Still, the occasional historian and archeologist descending to the catacombs beneath tend to give him headache, prodding around where they shouldn't.

>>27840090
Why would he? The inn and its basement would be a separate structure: the tomb proper only begins deeper down.

>>27840136
Sorry that was heavily sarcastic and I forgot to mark it as such.

>>27840203
Oh, sorry. It's sometimes kind of hard to tell over the Internets.

>>27840116
Turns out there was a city of Necromancers built on top of his tomb centuries ago. They were the ones who accidentally woke him up, he destroyed them, but left their ruins on top of his own because "The dead deserve their rest. Even those who sought to rob others of it in life"

So people investigating the sewers find all these necromantic ritual items and such, and might get the wrong idea.

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>>27838462
cause the innkeeper is a mummy...and were dealing with a necro...or something that is high power dead raising magic-hell could be an artifact like the Witchfire and the innkeeper doesnt want to run the risk of being enthralled by the power raising all the others. maybe he feels the power of the magic and it takes a lot of his own power to resist. getting closer would break down his defenses.

>>27810914
Obviously, but you're on /tg/, home of the misanthrophic boardgamers. You don't think you're going to get judged by the literal meaning of your words as opposed to what you meant?

>>27840480
I want to believe.

The inn's famous meat pies are suspected of being made out of humans and demihumans.

>>27844333
Turns out it's just bugs.

The innkeeper is lonely, asks the party to find a prostitute for him. The first one brought in is declined, however: she only does the whole sex thing, which he of course has no need for anymore. Where are all the courtesans of old that were excellent debaters and knew many interesting games?

Finding one of those will be much harder.

>>27777475
Basic rule of thumb for insects and shit, if its got a shell, cook that fucker, if not you should be ok to eat it raw (but you'll probably want to cook it tbh)

>>27846824
Bugs taste pretty good actually. There's nothing wrong about the stuff.

bump

The mystery of "Who the fuck keeps letting Jerry into the bathrooms, everyone always uses his arms to wipe their shit and linen wrapping isn't getting any goddamn cheaper".

>>27853438
Huh?

>>27857496
He wipes with the mummy wrapping. How's that unclear?

>>27860419
Ew.

>>27825796
Glad we could help you with some idea and subsequently steal them for ourselves

"Pass me my penis, please. It's in the jar with the hawk's head. No, not the eagle, the hawk! The last thing we want is my heart getting out!"

>>27773123
Your idea is awesome and you should feel good

>>27866427
What the fuck.