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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1381886216579.jpg-(178 KB, 800x1200, A Black Comedy.jpg)
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PREVIOUSLY on A Black Comedy: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=A%20Black%20Comedy
======

It's a homely house you've found yourself in.

Sunlight cracks through the shuttered windows, lending warmth to the cool colors of simple furnishings. A blushing young bride scurries about the kitchen in a bright pink apron carrying delicate porcelain loaded with cheeses and pastries into the foyer. She pours you and her husband a spot of tea before going back about her business. Finnegan is terribly busy, worrying over a few texts pulled from his bookshelves, attempting to diagnose the unfortunate condition brought upon by the aftermath of that terrible ritual.

You lean back into a plush and comfortable chair, taking a sip of your old friend's leaf. Emeraldians always had a taste for such brews, and you can find no fault with it. You take a moment to admire the weapon hanging over the fireplace - a finely crafted musket, stamped with the Lion of Gruev, the mark of the Dukessa's men at arms. You could almost Miss Blue's sword and shield hanging there, if the two of you ever decided to settle down like this.

Especially if you can "convince" her to go around in nothing but an apron! Even with your hyperweapon missing, you can certainly appreciate the way that Finnegan's wife has been shashaying about the kitchen without a care in the world that her husband's goop is dripping from her cunt. You can certainly tell that Finnegan appreciates it, at the very least.

"Are you sure you didn't marry a whore?" you ask your old... well, you wouldn't quite call him a -friend- like Tommy or Amelia. Accomplice? Person you playfully coerce into doing things for you with only half a mind to carry out your threats? Either way. "Because I'm not gonna lie, she's got all the shame of one, that's for sure."

>Field too long.
>>
>>27765269


"For the fifth time, I'm positive." He snaps at you, trying to keep his eyes on the texts. "And for Andromeda's sake - Augusta, put some pants on, we have company!"
>No need for that! I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done.
>You know, the fact that you have to say that only further's my certainty that she's a prostitute.
>You don't see me complaining. In fact, she's giving me a few ideas...
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27765282
>No need for that! I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done.
>>
>>27765282
>You know, the fact that you have to say that only further's my certainty that she's a prostitute.
>>
>>27765282
>No need for that! I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done.

Also, how did he recognize us so fast anyway?
>>
>>27765282
>You don't see me complaining.
>Either way, I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done.
"And then you can go back to being in and out as well."
>>
>>27765282
>You know, the fact that you have to say that only further's my certainty that she's a prostitute.

He shouldn't be ashamed if it's his wife! We're both women, too! No harm done. Ha ha ha.
>>
>>27765354
This mostly has to do with the fact that we decided to bust the door down while wielding our absurdly valuable and probably easily identified Glaive rather than a more covert choice of weapon.
>>
>>27765282
>>No need for that! I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done.
>>
>>27765282
>No need for that! I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done.
>>
>>27765282
>>You don't see me complaining. In fact, she's giving me a few ideas...
>>
>>27765374
>>27765376
Oh
>>
>>27765282
>No need for that! I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done.

Skin is skin, hyperweapon or no.
>>
>>27765282
>You don't see me complaining. In fact, she's giving me a few ideas...
Ahuehuheu
>>
>>27765585
nah, lets keep on the "turned into a demon of the opposite sex, absolutely nothing changes" angle.
>>
>>27765282
[X] You don't see me complaining, in fact she's giving me a few ideas..
>>
>>27765282
>You don't see me complaining. In fact, she's giving me a few ideas..
>>
>>27765650
I thought the joke was that was exactly what that option meant, but Finnegan would misinterpret it.
>>
>>27765650
its a joking jab at him, or we could be referring to blue, force her to wear an apron
>>
>>27765282
>No need for that! I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done.
Besides
>You don't see me complaining. In fact, she's giving me a few ideas...
>>
File: 1381888573394.jpg-(291 KB, 750x1000, Finnegan's Wife maki(...).jpg)
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"No need for that!" You split your face with a dirty grin. "I'll be in and out as soon as your work's done. Then you can go back to letting her fields bounce all around your plow till the harvest come's around."

Finnegan looks up from his work, making a face.

"Thank you for that mental image," Finnegan deadpans. "Exactly what I needed to concentrate on figuring out what the hell that thing was, and how to undo what it did to you."

Augusta comes back in from the kitchen with another pile of pastries, and you wonder whether or not she actually knows what she's doing, or if she's just doing what she thinks is expected of a wife. She doesn't scurry back to bring out any more though, so maybe she just gets hungry when strange men turned women come around and interrupt her coitus. Either way, she sits down on the couch without a care in the world for whatever juices she spills onto the fabric, and splays herself out in a most indecent manner.

Much as you like the fact that her tits are spilling out of her apron, you have to wonder if the girl has a condition? Does she just want to be -seen- or something?

"It's fine, Finny," she says, lazily muching on a fruit tart. "We're both girls, so it doesn't count."

"I told you already, Quinn's not a dame," Finnegan tells her. "You ever here of those belts that folks get when they want to switch things up? Like that, only instead of a belt, a..."

He looks down at the page.

"Pillar... well that's a stupid name," He shakes his head. "But instead of a Belt, a Pillar Demon." Then he starts at her as she reaches a hand under her apron. "Besides, that's not the point! You're -distracting- me, and I'd rather not have the Fang of the Fangs under my roof for any longer than I'd need to!"

You stare at him.

It takes him a moment to realize what he just said.

"Ah, no offense, Quinn." He stutters out. "But you're kind of fucking terrifying."

>field too long
>>
>>27765995

You...
>Point out that you could very easily kill him if you wanted to.
>Drop the subject and ask him what he knows about this Pillar horseshit.
>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours, before remembering that the Fang of the Fangs was one of the names that the peasants gave you.
>>
>>27765995
>Mami having sex with a dirty old man

OVER THE LINE, PROFESSOR.
>>
>>27766017
>>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours, before remembering that the Fang of the Fangs was one of the names that the peasants gave you.
>>
>>27766017
>Point out that you could very easily kill him if you wanted to.
>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours, before remembering that the Fang of the Fangs was one of the names that the peasants gave you.
>Find out more about this pillar horseshit
>>
>>27766017
>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours, before remembering that the Fang of the Fangs was one of the names that the peasants gave you.
>>
>>27766017
>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours, before remembering that the Fang of the Fangs was one of the names that the peasants gave you.

I like it
>>
>>27766017
You're worth so much more to me alive it isn't even an option.

Well it is, but....

>>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours, before remembering that the Fang of the Fangs was one of the names that the peasants gave you.
>>
>>27766017
Thank him for the complement.
>>
>>27766017
>"But you're kind of fucking terrifying."
Give him a grin. That's exactly what we want to be.
>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours
>>
>>27766017

>Drop the subject and ask him what he knows about this Pillar horseshit.
>>
>>27766017
>>Drop the subject and ask him what he knows about this Pillar horseshit.
>>
>>27766017
Quip about the Fang of the Fangs, make that into a threat. Then, tell him about the deal we made to suck souls and ask about Pillar horseshit.
>>
>>27766017
>>Drop the subject and ask him what he knows about this Pillar horseshit.
>>
>>27766017
all of the above? If not
>Drop the subject and ask him what he knows about this Pillar horseshit.
>>
>>27766079
This.
>>
>>27766032
Hey now, the apprentice is younger than Quinn, and Quinn isn't even Christmas Cake old yet (he's 24).
>>
>>27766017
>Quip about the fang of fangs not having nice tits
>>
>>27766017
Tell him about the soul sucking deal for a quicker diagnosis.
>>
>>27766017
Give him a big ol' hug and smother him in our titties.
>>
>>27766017
>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours, before remembering that the Fang of the Fangs was one of the names that the peasants gave you.

Always kind of thought it was a cheesy name anyway.
>>
>>27766017
>Quip about the Fang of the Fangs not having tits as nice as yours, before remembering that the Fang of the Fangs was one of the names that the peasants gave you.

We really need to keep a list of our titles.

After that tell him about the soul sucking thing, once we work out that we're a demon we should have everything we need to quickly realize that we're a succubus. I mean female, demon, soul sucking, there aren't that many options.
>>
>>27766290
an ex wife?
>>
>>27766322
mother-in-law?
>>
>>27766342
maybe
>>
>>27766290
Chick that friendzoned you in high school?
>>
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>>27766376
>>
>>27766322
>>27766342
Outstanding.
>>
>>27766449
Ah come on, thats a joke right? RIGHT?
>>
File: 1381891030699.jpg-(365 KB, 800x1000, GirlyQuinn.jpg)
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"Please," you declare. "I'm twice as dangerous as the Fang of the Fangs ever was! That little pissant what, torched a village or two? Slaughtered a Caravan and hung them up by their entrails? Robbed from the rich and gave to the poor? I did that toddling shit back when I was freshly weaned off of me mother's teat!" You smirk smugly, crossing your arms under your breast to give you confidence a boost - if you've got it, you may as well flaunt it. "And asides, he doesn't have tits near as nice as mine, so there's another reason for wantin' me around."

Finnegan gives you a blank stare. "I wouldn't know about that Quinn," he says, "I've heard he's recently come into a pair."

"They are nice, though," Augusta comments, her hand roaming beneath her apron. "You know, we could always-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," he snips. "Because even if he were willing, -I'm- not."

"Wait a tick." Your eyes widen, as you come to a realization. "That was me you were talking about, wasn't it."

"Yeah, it was," Finnegan concedes. "Now will you let me concentra-"

"Damnit," you curse. "I can never keep track of all the titles the yeomen like to throw at me - the Scourge of the Southsea. Fang of the Fangs. The Humanoid Typhoon."

You bounce them all off of the tip of your tongue in digust. You've never really liked what the storytellers had to say about you, probably because it glossed over all the fun parts and only ever listed your various atrocities. Really, when your -job- is to tell stories, then you should damn well tell a fucking story, not just read off everything that got printed onto the bounty poster!

"Personally, my favorite is 'Oh fu-'," you say. "Has a nice ring of finality to it."

You...
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.
>Ask if you should just come back tomorrow, when he's less engaged in fucking his wife.
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27766449
Dude censor that shit, I actually feel like I want to throw up.
>>
>>27766798
>>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.
>>
>>27766798
>>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.

if he doesn't give us anything to do
>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.
>>
>>27766798
wait that third option
could we do things to blue if we choose it
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.

We a a "man" of action after all. I'd start with describing the ritual and our request in detail if we haven't already.
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.
>>
>>27766798
>>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.

to watch him squirm.

>>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.

not in the Doitoriwillkillyouhorribly way but more what do you need.
>>
>>27766798
>>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.
Lets get this party started
>>
>>27766858
agreed i'd rather make unsubtle advances on blue than augusta
>>
>>27766858
We'd need a way to prove we're us if we want to get back into the castle.
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.

Speed him up by saying we'll leave when he's got what we wanted.

Then start making moves on his wife.
>>
>>27766798
>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.
And make sure Finnegan can't join in until he's done with his research.
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
>>
Rolled 17

>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
>>
>>27766798
>>Ask if you should just come back tomorrow, when he's less engaged in fucking his wife.
also
>[WRITE IN]
Steal his socks.
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.

"Oi, Finnegan. Can you determine if I'm a human chick or something that looks like a human chick with a magnificent rack? I'd hate for us to be looking in the wrong direction.

Also, the Pillar Demon's bargain involved me being able to suck souls. Ring any bells?"

After that we can flirt with Augusta, ask her if she usually plays with herself in front of strangers.

>>27766888
Well there's our pretty distinctive weapon that we have. Also we can prove it's us by listing off a pile of people we tortured for her and things about her that only a close acquaintance would know.
>>
>>27766798
>Make unsubtle advances on his wife

Just because he is obviously not gonna fuck with us and we might as well see what our new demonic form can do
>>
>>27766888
swing around the glaive
I doubt anyone thinks someone like us could kill someone like us
mainly because we'd blue us
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.

Imply that if he doesn't hurry up then we are going to screw his wife.
>>
>>27766934
It just seems like a really bad idea to test out our soul sucking ability on the wife of someone who is trying to help us.
>>
>>27766963
Aren't we going to do so anyway?
>>
>>27766968

It is.

Doesn't mean we can't just say it to screw with him a little.
>>
>>27766798
>>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
"If we just keep sitting around here waiting for you to do your wizarding, girlie over there is going to end up seducing herself on me.

Not that I'D mind, but business before pleasure and all that, and I'd wager you wouldn't be too happy with my ruining her for you. I tend to have that effect on people."
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
mention soulsucking
also
>Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.
because why the fuck not?
>>
>>27766983
I figure we have better things to do.
>>
>>27766984
If we all understand, then I'm all for it.
>>
>>27766963
>>27766902
Seconding these.
>>
Before we go we should see if he knows anyone in the market for some spell books. We've got like 30-40k worth of spell books to sell off and this guy probably knows some wizards in the area who would be interested in buying them.
>>
>>27767368
we could give them to him
in exchange for a night with his wife
>>
>>27767368
We could stop by the black market and sell some of our stuff. It'd also give us a chance to pick up some specialty items to use with Blue later if we want.
>>
>>27767408
She's nice, but she's not 30k gold nice.

>>27767428
We should, but specialty items like spellbooks probably need specialty customers unless we want to get utterly gouged by a fence.
>>
>>27767368
>>27767428

Or we could sell him some. Perhaps at a lower price for retainer services.
>>
>>27766798
>Ask Finnegan if there's anything you can do to speed up the whole research thing.
DON'T Make unsubtle advances on Augusta.

Because if there is anything we don't need, its having the guy who can change us back pissed at us.
>>
>>27767543
Slightly lower price. Enough that he knows we've lowered the price a little, for his services.
>>
>>27767618
I'm pretty sure we don't need to be changed back. We just need to realize we're a succubus IC and figure out our powers.
>>
>>27767616
I think his fear of us slightly outweighs his dislike of us.

And by slightly I mean that we could probably screw his wife and burn down his house and he would still help us out due to his chronic and irrational fear of sudden glaive-induced organ displacement.
>>
File: 1381893564317.jpg-(496 KB, 780x1165, Finnegan.jpg)
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Minutes pass. Tea gets drunken. More books get added to Finnegan's research table and an innumerable number of pages get turned. See, this is why you wound up failing out of Wizarding school - not for any lack of talent on your part, but because all the bloody research you had to do to figure out even the most basic of cantrips. You'll admit that the waiting isn't quite as bad as the old days, if only because there's a shameless cunt fucking herself on the couch beside you. It's actually kind of unnerving - usually you've got to break a bitch before they stop caring who sees them rutting.

"So..." you drawl, eying Augusts tits as bounce to her rhythm. "Do you always schlick your quim in front of dashing strangers, or is this a special occasion?"

"Hah..." she breathes. "That's... hah... a very good... oohhh... question, sister. I... ~ahn... have a question too~oooh... ask you as well..." She takes her hand out of her hole and licks the juices off, before returning it. "Do you always... hah... barge in on strangers who~oooh... are fucking the ever loving shit out of one... ~ahnother? With no shame?"

"Well, it's not a habbit," you smirk. "But it's not something I don't do, either. Though usually when I do do it, I wind up killing the husband and taking his place until the wife's finished or I'm spent - usually the latter, since they're usually too busy screaming too get off on it." You take a sip of tea. "Then I kill the wife, and any children the couple might have had, before moving on to the next house. Generally only do that once or twice a village though, because it's only fun so many times before the screams start to grate on you."

"Sounds like a f~uhn... time..." Augusta says, smiling.

You're beginning to like this dame, for all the quirk's she's got - even if she is a giant slut, she's got the right idea how to live. Fast. Hard. And leaving behind as many corpses as you can manage.

>Field too long
>>
>>27767688
I would actually say it is a rational fear given our skills and history
>>
>>27767745
That's the joke.
>>
>>27767739
"So," you turn to Finnegan, "Any thing I can do to help speed things up? Cause if you don't, I fear that your wife is trying to seduce me, and I don't think I have the will to resist her advances."

"Oh, trust me, you wouldn't like how that would end," he chides. "Now, I think I've got enough information on the Pillar; what, exactly were the terms of the deal?"
>Answer him straightforwardly.
>Answer him sarcastically.
>Lie through your teeth.
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27767686
He might want his hyperweapon back. That's basically it.

It's not like we're entirely sorted on his personality so far in three threads, but he seems like the kind of person who would eschew ultimate cosmic power to get his dick back so he can fuck a bitch the normal way.

It's about the journey, not the destination, nawmean?
>>
>>27767769

Straightforward. Lying about magic is only going to make this take longer.
>>
>>27767769
>Answer him straightforwardly.

There's a time and a place to be an asshole, and this isn't it. Shit be important, yo.
>>
>>27767769
Answer straightforward
He did this cool soul eating thing that I asked if I could have
>>
>>27767769
>Answer him straightforwardly.
Let's not cause a screw up with this, plus its the best way to get back to normal and/or find out what our powers are.
>>
>>27767739
>>27767769
Augusta is a succubus.

>>27767797
Change Shape is such a fun ability.
>>
>>27767769
>>Answer him straightforwardly.

>>27767797
Don't Succubi get a shapeshift? There's a hyperweapon right there to order.
>>
>>27767769
>Answer him straightforwardly.
>>
>>27767769
>>Answer him straightforwardly.
>>
>>27767769
>"Oh, trust me, you wouldn't like how that would end,"
Wait a goddamn minute, is she ALSO a succubus? That'd be too funny. We finally decide to go for it, she tries to souldrain us, we souldrain her right back and then we both go "Fuck."

Anyway...

>Answer him straightforwardly.
"It sucked out their soul juice, we said "COOL." and asked if it could let us do that. It said no, but that it could let us do something similar.

And similar is still something I could work with."
>>
>>27767769
>Answer him straightforwardly.
>>
>>27767769
>Answer him sarcastically.
Honest but dickish is always great.
>>
>>27767797
True but once he figures out not only can he get his hyper weapon back but he can change it at will I think he would be content to be like he is
>>
>>27767739
>>27767769
>Answer him straightforwardly
But fuck man that lady is a Minx!
>>
>>27767922
She's a succubus, what were you expecting.
>>
>>27767922
Better yet, "But Finnegan, you're wife's practically a succubus! How could any man - current transformations notwithstanding - resist?"
>>
>>27767739
>"Hah..." she breathes. "That's... hah... a very good... oohhh... question, sister.

FUCKING BITCH IS AWARE OF WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO US.
>>
dude, i like this chick. she fiesty!
>>
>>27767769
Guy made a nice soul paté, I asked him to teach me the recipe.
>>
So, this quest has fully reignited my boner for glaives. Anybody know of some good vidya to stroke said boner with? I'm currently getting my glaive fix through Mount and Blade, but I'm looking to expand.
>>27766798
>The Humanoid Typhoon
You cheeky dickwaffle...
>>27767769
>Answer him straightforwardly.
>>
>>27768342
Dynasty Warriors? I mean...seriously.
>>
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"Well, let's see..." You trail off. "I grabbed the cunt with the biggest knockers out from the crowd of cultists and replaced the sweaty neckbeard with her. I... may have groped her tits once or twice before slamming her down on the alter and jamming my dagger hilt deep into her sternum. The incubi reached up from the second circle and dragged her down to the rape pits, I told her to have fun."

Finnegan rubs his chin for a moment.

"Okay," he comments, "That's a bog standard Gate ritual. That has nothing to do with the deal you made."

"Really?" you ask, more concerned with the fact that Augusta is now four fingers deep than any actual arcane insight that the Wizard is enlightening you with. "Huh. I always figured that the sacrifice was part of the bargain, which is why you always used a hot chick as part of the ritual."

"No," Finnegan shakes his head. "Though the sacrifice made does have -some- effect on the creature summoned, it's more the payment to cross the bridge, than the fee in exchange for a favor."

"Okay, that makes sense," you concede. "Well, anyways, after I did the ritual to summon the Pillar guy, I went and introduced him to Melvin and his cult, and made some implications that it was alright for him to snack on them. He then sort of liquified them and their souls, and drank it all up like the village drunkard given a keg. I thought that would be a neat party trick, so I asked him to teach me how to do that."

You sigh, making a dramatic gesture that screams "alas, it was not meant to be!"

"Alas," you continue, "it was not meant to be. Apparently that was impossible, but he could give me something close enough to be equivalent, so of course I jump on it. Next thing I know, there's this searing white pain made out of sulfur, and I wake up missing my hyperweapon in exchange for these awesome tits."

>Field too long.
>>
>>27768556

"Ooohhhhhh~" Augusta says, and much to your surprise, it's less the sound a chick makes when she finishes, and more a sound of sudden realization. "And here I was thinking you were one of the tomboy's down below that a Pillar decided to formlock. Quinn, deary, you're a succubus now, just like me!" She pulls her hand from her cunt and stands up, wiping the rather copious juices on her apron.
>"Wait, Finnegan, I thought you said you didn't marry a whore!"
>"So I've been turned into a shapeshifting sex demon? Really? That's, kind of disappointing."
>Attempt to regrow you hypeweapon. [Roll 1d20]
>[WRITE IN]
>>
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>>27768420
Speaking of Dynasty Warriors, kind of makes me sad that Lu Bu's appearance in F/S was as Berserker. A Lu Bu that retained his experience and talent in combat would make a hell of a servant.
>>
Rolled 20

>>27768578

PENIS, I SUMMON THEE!
>>
Rolled 1

>>27768578
>Attempt to regrow you hypeweapon. [Roll 1d20]
>>
>>27768590
>>27768593
I really don't know what else I could have possibly expected.
>>
>>27768578
>"Wait, Finnegan, I thought you said you didn't marry a whore!"
Perfect!
>>
Rolled 20

>>27768578
>>Attempt to regrow you hypeweapon. [Roll 1d20]
>>
>>27768578
>"Wait, Finnegan, I thought you said you didn't marry a whore!"
huehuehue
>>
Rolled 15

>>27768578
>>"So I've been turned into a shapeshifting sex demon? Really? That's, kind of disappointing."
>>Attempt to regrow you hypeweapon. [Roll 1d20]
>>
>>27768590
I'm...very glad we have you.
>>
Rolled 17

>>27768590
>>27768593
what.

>>27768578
>attempt to regrow your hyperweapon
>>
Rolled 18

>>27768578
>Attempt to regrow you hypeweapon. [Roll 1d20]
Then we take Augusta with us and leave, and live happily ever after. Killing villagers and breaking Blue.
>>
>>27768590
>>27768593
>>27768611
I...I don't know what the dice want anymore.
>>
>>27768618
so we futa now?
I have a feeling the elder succubus won't take kindly to being on bottom
>>
>>27768624
They go back and forth between binary states - just like we can now. IT'S A SIGN!
>>
Rolled 19

>>27768578

"Well, that explains a lot.

Wait, wait, gimme a second here."

>Attempt to regrow you hypeweapon. [Roll 1d20]
>>
>>27768590
At first I was like...

>>27768593
But then I hue'd....

>>27768611
And then a miracle happened.
>>
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>>27768590
>>27768593
>>27768611
>>
>>27768578
"Well, that explains an awful lot. Like why you're so hot, and unashamed. You caught a good one Finnegan, though I'm a bit surprised that she hasn't eaten your soul.

Well, at least he, it, followed through on the deal.

There anything other than common knowledge I should know about this whole succubus business?"
>>
hahaha, this is great
>>27768578
>"Wait, Finnegan, I thought you said you didn't marry a whore!"
>>
>>27768683
Yeah, while we're concentrating on unsheathing our lance we should ask Finnegan and his wife for pointers.
>>
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>>27768590
>>27768593
>>27768611
Uh

Okay then
>>
>>27768590
>>27768611
two hyperweapons?
>>
>>27768753
Prehensile.
>>
>>27768753
And we rolled a one, so we probably still keep one whatever the female equivalent of a hyperweapon is.

The dice have strange desires.
>>
>>27768753
I guess it's technically possible once we figure out the knack for it. I don't recall the limitations on 3rd edition Change Shape.
>>
>>27768779
Blue is fucked
in several ways
>>
>>27768788
Dice gods are /tg/ so of course they wish for bot
>>27768791
We have become sex, destroyer of purity
>>
>>27768788
Ultraweapon?
>>
>>27768842
Infraweapon.
>>
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Rolled 52, 51 = 103

>>27768590
>>27768593
>>27768611
Oh God I am laughing so hard right now
>>
>>27768856
>>27768842
Macrocannons and a lance as spare.
>>
>>27768873
Psssh, Nova Cannon.
>>
>>27768946
We did roll a pair of 20s...(even if there's a 1 involved, I imagine that's just going to make things funny, rather than tragic)
>>
Rolled 5

>>27768962

Pop out, deflat.

and then pop out again
>>
Horsecock
Back to normal
Our regular penis
>>
>>27768946
super-dimension-energy cannon
>>
>>27769088
Superelectromagnetic shrapnel cannon
>>
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>>27769146
I was referring to the dimensional-ripping main gun on this guy.
>>
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[Highest of First Three: NATURAL 20]
[CAUTION: NATURAL 1. CRITICAL SUCCESS CANCELED]
[ADDENDUM: SECONDARY NATURAL 20!]
[CRITICAL SUCCESS!]
[ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: BINARY ROLLING]

"Wait, I'm a Succubus now, right?" you ask, holding up a hand to stop whatever lewd introduction to the species ritual Augusta has planned. "Succubi, while formed of the base desires of humans - fucklust, bloodlust, wanderlust, and pretty much everything that can be described by adding lust to the end of it - are shapeshifters, meant to be able to take whatever form is most apropriate for their purposes..."

"Well yes," she says, taking a hold of your outstretched hand and placing it on one of her tits. "Now sush... it's time you be inducted into the sisterhood. Once we take care of -that-, then I can show you all of the neat things that girls like us can do." She turns to her husband and wiggles her ass. "And yes, Finny sweety, you can watch."

"Hold on a minute," you say. "There's something I've been -missing- for the last couple of hours, and I'd rather not go without it for much longer than I already have."

You turn within yourself and concentrate. You're somewhat unused to this - meditation and that sort of horseshit has always been more of Tom's forte than your own. Finding your center takes a bit of time, and it feels as though an eternity has passed until you come across that internal spark which acts the pilot light for the water heater of your own magics. Another reason why you failed out of Wizarding School - you were never good at grabbing at your magic.

But you find it this time. More than that, you exert your will upon it, demand that it flow in accordance with your needs and desires. A spark becomes a flame, and for the briefest instant that flame flares into an inferno.

And then you feel a satisfying and familiar flop in the crotch of your pants.

>Field too long.
>>
>>27769423
"Ah, there we go!" You grin. "Might not have gotten rid all this unwieldy confidence yet, but at least I've got my hyperweapon back. Hell, it feels more than a hyperweapon - it's a godamned Novacannon!"

Augusta frowns at you, before pawing your crotch.

"I'm happy for you and all," she a says, giving it a slightly painful squeeze, "but the induction is a -pure- affair, and has no room for lewd instruments such as this."

"I thought succubi were all about lewd," you point out. "Isn't that your schtick?"

"Well, if you don't want to get rid of it for now, that's fine," she says. "But if you don't want to be inducted, you'll have to work out all the tricks we ladies can do - and while you might have some of the shapeshifting down, that's but the tip of the iceberg."

You...
>Fuck it. You got what you came for. You're not getting rid of your old friend again because of some stupid demon tradition.
>Fuck this bitch. You can force the demon cunt to give you -everything- that you want.
>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27769442
>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.
Anything to give Finn more impotent annoyance.
>>
>>27769442
>>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.
>>
>>27769442
>>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.

I'd be all for forcing it out of her, but we're on decent terms with Finn and I'd like to keep it that way. At that point, it's deciding whether we want to get the full use of our powers or not, so I say we go for it.
>>
>>27769442
>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.

need to get official to stop the demons from suing our asses
>>
>>27769442
>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.
>>
>>27769442
>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.
>>
>>27769442
>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.

We can just grow another later.
>>
>>27769442
Fine...lets get the induction over with. Fhen we'll regrow our hyperweapon!
>>
>>27769442
>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.
Besides, we get to fuck this bastard's wife right in front of him!
>>
Jesus christ, you guys.

>>27769442
>>[WRITE IN]
"No offense, but last time I just decided to wing it with a Demon, it got me into this mess to begin with.

I'm gonna need to know what I'm getting myself into before jumping into any more deals, thank you very much."
>>
>>27769442
>Fine. You'll go through with this "induction into the sisterhood" shit.

We can just bring it back later.
>>
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Rolled 17

>>27769442
>>[WRITE IN]

"WAIT WAIT WAIT"

"I just got one of those silly contract things and you want me to step into another?

First explain to me what sisterhood entails? Because if its going to interfer with my faith, then BOY I have a problem."
>>
>>27769510
But think of the possibilities
you must be lewder dear anon.
>>
>>27769547
>>27769530
I'm seconding these. We need more information about what the hell this induction shit is.
>>
>>27769530
>>27769547
This so much. You must be cautious with these demons. Besides I don't like how arrogant she is being. We do shit our way, not anyone else's
>>
>>27769547
This is actually a good point, we'd want to know what it entails, but if it's nothing potentially detrimental I'm down.
>>
>>27769547
This, we can't have that shizz interfere with our duties to papa Vlad.
>>
>>27769442
So our first time as a women is with an other women but we're a guy, I'm confused
>>
>>27769442
"Since it doesn't involve lewdness what does this induction consist of?

Because in a religious sense I'm already taken and not planning on straying. And while I have a healthy respect for you lot and I'm a succubus now in a physical sense, I'm not one of you in a hierarchical sense."
>>
>>27769612
True.
>>
Rolled 20

>>27769547

This so much
>>
>>27769547

Agreed.

No demon pacts without the fine print being read in full.

Even if we make that mistake again, it better not be the same goddamned day.
>>
Now that I'm thinking about it, we're an actual character, with an actual character sheet.

>Identify a monster's abilities and weaknesses
>Knowledge DC 10 + Monster's CR
>Succubus is CR 7
We have a +20 skill mod in Knowledge (Planes), which means we can pretty easily just roll some dice and recall what we know about Succubi.

And I'd imagine we've had dealings with their kind in the past, seeing as we are a man of many tastes, so we will likely have at least an operating knowledge, and are probably even slightly more well-informed than average.

Knowing what a succubus initiation entails is probably above our mental weight class, but a good roll might still clinch it, seeing as a hard Knowledge check is suggested to be around DC30.
>>
>>27769952
Trips got a point
>>
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"Okay, I'll bite," you say, scrunching in concentration for a moment to switch your hyperweapon out for more girly bits. "But before we begin these shenanigans, what's this whole sisterhood business entail. Because if joining it means that I have to get involved in the politics of the lower planes, then you can count me the fuck out. I'll send your menfolk an innocent bimbo every once in a while in exchange for help, but I don't want to suddenly find out that I have -obligations- to -politic- with the princes."

You pause for a moment, and in the corner of your eye you see Finnegan reaching for a thick, leather bound book - no doubt his personal book of spells and notes upon the planes. You also catch something that you didn't notice before - what you had assumed was simply a wedding band was engraved with runes. Complicated runes, indicative of a permanent spell of the fourth order, with runes of protection and soul binding.

So that's how he's kept his soul from getting eaten. Must have cost him a pretty penny.

"And for that matter, what does this ritual entail," you demand. "I am a -very- religious fellow, and I've already saved too many lives today to afford another infraction against good old Papa Vladimir. So if it goes against any of his proscriptions..."

"Calm your tits, sister," she says, "You won't have any trouble with old Papa Vladimir - most of the sisters worship him. The sisterhood doesn't really politic all that much, either, as we're usually too busy pursuing our passions to get involved with the Circle Princes. As for what the ritual entails, it's really rather simple and mostly a formality - the usual shit where we get naked and paint a verse from the Duodecim Ex Mortis on each other with sheep's blood before kneeling in a ritual circle and swear oaths of sisterhood and evil."

You...
>Are fine with that.
>Are not fine with that, and decide to leave.
>Are not fine with that, and decide to "persuade" her to teach you all she knows.
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27769997
haha trips yourself dude
>>
>>27770009
>Are fine with that.
>>
>>27770009
>Are fine with that.
>>
>>27770009
>Not fine with that
No oaths. We don't want to bind ourselves at fucking all. Thank her for the offer, but say we've got a paladin do go break in, and then leave.
>>
>>27770009
>Are fine with that.
Can we use use human blood instead?
>>
>>27770009
>Are fine with that.

"Which passage? I might actually have it memorized.

Why a sheep anyways?"
>>
>>27770009
>The sisterhood doesn't really politic all that much, either, as we're usually too busy pursuing our passions to get involved with the Circle Princes.

Not an actual answer darling. You've manage to string a series of words together that convey no meaning. What does the sisterhood do?
>>
>>27770009
>Are fine with that.

Except I don't want Finnegan anywhere I cant glaive him at a moments notice and I DEFINITELY do not want him reading out of any tomes while we're at it. I have no interest being bound to a two-bit sorcerer.
>>
Rolled 9

>>27770009
>>Are fine with that.

Still iffy on that initiation bit but eh.

"When does it need to happen? Because I have a little lith Blue to go and make fun off."
>>
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>>27770085
Good catch.

>>27770009
>[WRITE IN] Pic related.
>>
>>27770096
we could have a threesome with blue and wizard's waifubuss
>>
Rolled 13

>>27770009
>>[WRITE IN]

"And what do those oaths entail?"
>>
>>27770009
>Are fine with that.
>>
>>27770133

here, changing my vote to

>>27770085
>>27770107
>>
>>27770127
seconding
>>
>>27770009
>>[WRITE IN]
Give it a good think and make sure what she's saying gels with what we know about Succubi.

"I'm all about getting naked and swearing oaths of evil, but you'll recall the first thing I did after I came to is to visit ol' Finn here to try and get the "sisterhood" angle dealt with.

And seriously, with this thing, you could've told me I was the Pillar Demon. If you see what I'm getting at."
>>
>>27770159
Godammit can't we just get along with the goat blood
>>
>>27770009
You can never do enough evil ritual is a day. I'm all for it
>>
>>27770085
This. I'm fine so long as it's nothing I'd object to.

Also, Finnegan, I see a binding spell coming off you and that hand with the ring is coming off too.
>>
>>27770183
Oh he doesn't have the balls to try
if he does
he won't for much longer
>>
>>27770174
Sheep, not goat. It's a sheep's blood, they're different animals in a lot of ways.
>>
>>27770226
Bah
>>
Rolled 16

>>27770236

Bah
>>
>>27770272
bah
>>
>>27770236
>>27770272
>>27770276
Black sheep
>>
>>27770375

Have you any wool?
>>
Rolled 8

>>27770459

Yes papa, papa vlad, 3 heads full.
>>
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"I should congratulate you," you say, "you managed to spew a bunch of words out of your mouth of less value than the promises of a five copper harlot what sucks off five score cocks a day. Probably something your throat is familiar with, I imagine."

To her credit, the demonic harlot nods appreciatively. "Been there. Not as fun as it sounds - when you're working that many you just don't have the time to appreciate the -taste- of things. One of the reasons I went and settled down for the next tend decades with Snookums over here." She walks over to where her husband is sitting and presses her tits into his back. "You mind sweety? I'm getting a little hungry~."

"Well, yes, actually I sort of-"

His protestations die fairly quickly as her fingers dance through the knots that lace his britches. With one hand, she gently slips her lovers pants down his leg, whilst the other traces the growing bulge in his underclothes.

"You know you like it~" she coos, freeing him at last. He certainly doesn't seem to be protesting now, as her hand gently strokes him.

It's honestly fascinating to you - you've known in theory that dames could be on top in a relationship, but you've never seen it done it practice. Never really interested you all that much, mostly because you get off more on hold power over your conquests than the act itself. But the way that Finnegan has been reduced to putty in the succubi's hand, you're fairly sure he enjoys it enough. You kind of wish she'd stop pressing her tits into his back though, because as fascinating as their coupling is intellectually, you'd rather watch a pair of melons than a sausage.

>Field too long.
>>
>>27770547

"Anyways, the Sisterhood has the same sort of trappings of any sorority," she says. "Benefits to you is that we teach you how to use your new tricks, and every Blackguard you convert gets you a week at a resort in the second circle of hell. Benefits to us is that we'll get to see whatever passion~ and art~ you bring to the table, the mutual defense pact, and the membership fee of one human soul per month."

You...
>Find these terms acceptable.
>Would like to know more.
>Find the terms unacceptable.
>"Hold on, why are you stroking him off? Don't tell that we need -that- sort of stuff to live or something."
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27770559
>"Hold on, why are you stroking him off? Don't tell that we need -that- sort of stuff to live or something."
>>
Rolled 9

>>27770559
>>Find these terms acceptable.

"One thing. What happens if I decide I want to go back to being a man?

Do those oaths still hold?"

Being a succubus is fun and all but i think quin will want out eventually.
>>
>>27770559
>"Hold on, why are you stroking him off? Don't tell that we need -that- sort of stuff to live or something."
>Find these terms acceptable.
>>
>>27770559
>>"Hold on, why are you stroking him off? Don't tell that we need -that- sort of stuff to live or something."

Also ask if we get bonus points for starting on our Blackguard homework before we actually became a succubus.
>>
>>27770559
>"Hold on, why are you stroking him off? Don't tell that we need -that- sort of stuff to live or something."
Then
>Find the terms unacceptable.

We tend to hold our own so far and prioritize combat first. I don't think we need resort trips and instructions.
>>
>>27770559
>Would like to know more.

How nice is the resort, how are souls collected and delivered, does the origin of said soul matter, does the mutual defense pact apply to us getting defended by them, and the sucking cocks thing is just for fun, right?

Also, do we get perks for showing off especially nice pieces of art?

>>27770581
We can turn into a man, shapeshifting is pretty cool. We can look however we want, whenever we want. There's no real downsides I can think of for being a succubus.
>>
>>27770591
Seriously. This sounds more like Mary Kay than anything else.
>>
>>27770559
>Find these terms acceptable.
>"Hold on, why are you stroking him off? Don't tell that we need -that- sort of stuff to live or something."
>>
Rolled 5

>>27770598

The need for cockjuice to live.

I kind of think that Quin might eventually want little satan anklebiters.
>>
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>>27770559
yes this is most excellent
these terms are acceptable
>>
>>27770598
we can also simply pop in our hyper weapon while keeping our confidence
>>
>>27770604
Roll knowledge planes to get an Out of Character post about the Resorts in the Second Circle, if you're so inclined. Quinn has a decent shot of knowing something about those, considering that Demons are his religion's angels.
>>
Rolled 2

>>27770630
I'll bite.
>>27770559
>"Hold on, why are you stroking him off? Don't tell that we need -that- sort of stuff to live or something."
>>
Rolled 19

>>27770630
>>
>>27770615
She hasn't said we need cockjuice to live yet, and I don't think we do. If we do then we can reconsider.

And we can still able to have little anklebiters, and we might even be able to impregnate people.
>>
Rolled 19

>>27770630

ROLLING
>>
>>27770559
>Find these terms acceptable.
>>
Rolled 12

>>27770630

Please include information about little anklebiters too
>>
>>27770642
Could we be some sort of Succubus/Incubus hybrid, or do Succubi pull double duty in D&D.
I don't think they mention Incubi in D&D
>>
>>27770559
>the mutual defense pact
See THIS is the kind of thing we wanted to know about.

We're a bit of a free spirit, so signing on to something where we will eventually have to say "How high?" when asked to jump to the defense of other demons in the order doesn't seem like the kind of thing we'd appreciate, and we can probably hold our own better than most members of the circle, so I can't see the "mutual" part of the defense pact being as handy for us as it will be for them.

Showing off our handiwork is a given. We're a bit of a ham anyway, so I can't see us turning down a wider audience, especially one that would be universally appreciative of either our artistry and/or the deity we're dedicating some of our work to.

Maybe try and work out a one-time package in exchange for Succubus Lessons, rather than the whole sisterhood induction, while leaving an open avenue for future negotiation if they want to subcontract our services in the future?
>>
>>27770662
you mean an Omnibus
that's what people seem to call them
>>
>>27770689
No, that's a collection of books. I mean an Incubus. Rapes and impregnates womanfolk? Has a large black spotted penis in P4? Ring any bells?
>>
>>27770559
>Find the terms unacceptable.
>>
>>27770711
I know
but the few times people have talked to me of demons with both genitals
they have referred to them as Omnibus
I prefer the term futa succubus as it gets the point across
>>
Rolled 20

>>27770559
>>Find these terms acceptable.
>>
>>27770711
Well, this might not matter considering the divergences that this takes from myth, but medieval European legend Incubi and Succubi were the same thing.

The Succubus would fuck a man, steal his semen, and then rape a girl as an Incubus and impregnate her.

Handy way to explain that the reason your kid looks like the baker instead of your husband.
>>
>>27770729
Oh. I thought you were referring to the name of an Incubus, not the combo-sex demon. Huh. That's a kind of silly name. I think I'll go with futabus. or futa succubus.
>>
>>27770750
good man
>>
>>27770729
The only place I've seen that was in CoC, which confused me when I first saw it.
>>
>>27770559
>Find these terms acceptable.

If we need sex we can just get it from Blue later, and the only thing the mutual defense pact could result in is more opportunities for us to kill shit. We're in.
>>
Penalties for dues in arrears are? And can they be paid up ahead of time?
>>
>>27770766
Someone on /tg/ used it to refer to it
and as I had no other name for it I used it
but futabus sounds far better
>>
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===Knowledge: The Planes===
[Highest of First Three: 19]
[Circumstance Bonus - Follower of the Duodecim: +2]
[DC - Difficult, Rare Knowledge: 35]
[Roll: 19+20+2=41]
[SUCCESS!]

In the not so far gone days of Quinn Taylor's youth, the young Warrior and Adherent to Tepes had a chance to work alongside a handful of demons of the Lower Planes. Their mission was to strike at a secluded, but sacred temple to Oddyseus, where many old relics of the Age Long Past were held. If was among the rewards that they would choose from that Quinn learned of the sort of place that passed for a luxury resort in the lower circles.

Endless halls of monsters that would be just challenging enough to be satisfying to pit one's skill against. Women - or men, to your taste - who would struggle or submit as much as you find pleasing, upon whom you could commit every vile depravity you wished. Food stolen from the halls of the Parthenon itself, the finest wine and song the lower hells had to offer. Clerics on call if you just felt like trying to -kill everyone-, to raise you when you finally got yourself killed - and none would hold a grudge.

A paradise, Quinn thought. But not for this life. Had this mission been successful, Quinn would have elected a more spiritually satisfying prize - induction into the Clergy of Tepes. Unfortunately, while this mission did result in Quinn Taylor obtaining his trademarked Glaive of Orichalcum, it was ultimately a failure. His valor and ruthlessness on the job, however, proved enough his mettle for the High Impaler, and so he was inducted to into the priesthood.

Currently, Quinn is recognized as the Champion of Tepes, second in the religion only to the High Impaler. He got there just as all of his predecessors did - by killing everyone above him.
>>
>>27770797
>He got there just as all of his predecessors did - by killing everyone above him.
QAPLA!
>>
>>27770833
Gesuhndeit.
>>
>>27770797
So, uh, what authority and duties come with the position of Champion of Our Lord, The Impaler?
>>
>>27770874
To kill, obviously.
>>
>>27770797
WELL
this seems nice
>>
>>27770889
Pretty much this. Cept it has to be in Tepes' name.
>>
>>27770874
>>27770889
just realized
as we demon now
does that mean if someone manages to off us
we'll just pop back, are we now permanently the champion of tepes?
>>
Rolled 19

>>27770874

Kill. And Impale.
>>
>>27770874
As far as I've been able to tell:
-Don't do good stuff
-Do evil stuff
-Kill lots of people in amusing ways
-Be awesome
>>
>>27770797
that sounds nice, I'd want to hear some details about the mutual defense pact but other than that I say we accept, do the ritual thingy 'pure' then get our hyperweapon back and fuck her brains out
>>
>>27770889
>>27770905
Sweet.
>>27770909
Yes. Or.. Hm. Normally when they reform they're punished by their lords in Baator. But we have none. I assume yes.
>>
>>27770921
>implying she won't do it first
>>
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Am I the only one who doesn't' find anything about this particularly appealing? The role of a succubus (or even incubus if we get lucky) is to provoke others to action; to provide temptation to turn pure souls to evil. That's fine and dandy and all that, but Quinn strikes me as more of a doer than a motivator. Why bother to tempt someone into becoming a blackguard to destroy an orphanage, when you could just do it yourself? Hell, even our desire to corrupt Blue was because we wanted someone at our side when we do all that stuff, not someone to do it because we whispered the right magic words in their ear. Seems like a whole dynamic change that reduces Quinn from the protagonist (villainous protagonist to be sure, but a protagonist none the less) to the support character of someone else's story.

Can't say I like the change.
>>
>>27770972
I highly doubt that the change is going to completely rewrite Quinn's personality overnight, if anything, he will still be the same villainous arsehole, but with more powers to fall back on with some rather easy obligations to fill.
>>
>>27770972
Bah
>>
>>27770972
We're not obligated to be all tempting and shit. If we don't feel like doing that we can just treat it as a fun free package of really good stat boosts to further facilitate our murder-sprees.
>>
>>27770972
I don't think we're seriously considering signing the contract, since it's some pretty bullshit fine print.

I think we're better off just ripping its heart out and holding it hostage until we get a more favorable agreement.
>>
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>>27771006
>>27771008
>>27771009
True, however if we do join this "Sisterhood" (Which does still sound like the Mary Kay Club of the Damned to me) we do need to provide one human soul per month. I was assuming that would have to be through temptation, if murder works as well then that's easy to do, but otherwise we're going to need to spend a lot of time cultivating potential victims.
>>
Rolled 12

>>27771036

Nah, its just murder.
>>
>>27771036
we go through many souls a day for Papa Vlad, 1 a month for the sisters ain't no more effort
>>
>>27771036
Never specifies where from, just that we have to get it there. Besides what're they going to do? Un-teach us?
>>
>>27771051
Community whoring in hell?
>>
>>27771051
Personally I don't like the idea of pissing off literally every Succubus in the world. It'd get boring killing them all.
>>
>>27771051
Actually, what are the penalties for not giving them a soul a month?
>>
>>27771036
I am with you on this. If the soul is just someone we soul drain fucked to death, well and good. If we need to tempt, then screw the sisterhood deal. If we need, strike a deal on the side for the lessons. We don't do obligations.
>>
>>27771051
Worse, send in the legal team.

And you thought regular attorneys were bad. Just wait until you're in Hell being charged with breach of contract.
>>
>>27771035
the only "bullshit fine print" in this is the defence pact, which I'm assuming we'll ask about, and hell, this is nowhere near as bad as dealing with that Pillar demon we summoned
>>
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>>27771006
>>27771008
>>27771009
>>27771035
>>27771043
>>27771045
Alright then. Just thought I'd voice a concern.
>>
Rolled 18

>>27771065

What you find in abundance in Hell.

Lawyer letters.
>>
>>27770972
It's not like anyone is going to stop us from being a fun loving murderous psychotic bastard. I mean heroes will try to stop us from killing people, but we'll kill them.

This just gives us one hell of a toolkit and some contacts downstairs. The contacts are useful for a lot of things, and we can also teleport at will, phase through walls, look like anyone we want, and a whole fucking host of other useful things.

We're still Quinn, that's not going to change.

>>27771036
They said soul, they never specified where they were from.
>>
>>27771076
its a valid concern that needs to be thought about, but for Quinn? I doubt he cares that much
>>
>>27771078
>>27771065
I'm guessing we just lose the benefits until we pay up our membership again.
To be honest, it sounds like it works like a gentlemens club.
If we're good most of the time, they won't mind a late month here or there. And, to be honest, I'm all for stealing souls and selling them off for personal gain.
>>
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>>27771067
I don't know, you're making a breach of DA RURUS sound really tempting.
>>
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"Resort, huh?" you ask, mostly to yourself. "Sounds pretty nice, if I'm remembering it correctly - rape, pillage, murder, torture, fountains of blood, that sort of thing right?"

Of course, as you took the time to remember the olden days of your somewhat more youth, the demon whore decided that stroking her plaything wasn't enough, and got down on her knees. At least the view is better - a heart shaped ass and a smooth and hairless cunt sopped with tears for want of being fucked. While you'd normally just dismiss her slurping on Finnegans now mercifully swallowed cock as her being a slut, your a succubus now. Her mentioning of "being hungry" is quite a bit more relevent, as while she might content herself stuffing her gullet with semen, you do not relish such necessity.

"Yeah," she breathes between slurps. "Pretty much. A bit more torture and a bit less sexy than I would like - but you seem to be more a Ira than a Luxuria like me, so you'll probably fit right in."

"Ira?" you ask. "Oh, right. All sorts of lust, not just the fucking kind."

"Right in one," she says. "You get off on bloodshed... so you'd get along best with those angry tomboys..."

"And I take it those angry tomboys don't need sex to live?" You ask.

"Need sex to live?" she states, coming up from deep with a wet pop. "Where would you get that idea? I'm a Lux through and through - I get off on getting off, so my art is -sex- and corrupting others through it. From what I'm feeling, your best fit is as an Ira, your art being -destruction- and inspiring rage within others."

She goes back to suckling just as Finnegan finishes, leaving him limp in the chair. Turning to you, she wipes a bit from the corner of her mouth, and continues.

"So, are we going to do this," she asks. "Or can I get back to polluting this world with more half-demons?"
>>
I'd actually like to be very sure on at least a few things:

1. How is the mortal soul meant to be claimed? Is it just a ritualistic murder? Or do you drain a soul and as a tax one of those gets sent there? Do you have to actively force somebody to damn themselves?

2. Can you build up a buffer of souls? Like, send 200 souls to hell as payment, and thus be set for the next 200 months? Or does it HAVE to be done every month?

3. WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CAN'T MAKE THE PAYMENT?
Actually, in general -- what happens if we can't hold up our expectations or end of the bargain?

4. How much/how often do we have to provide the mutual defense? I mean, this might actually work to help us too; if we get in trouble or need backup, we might be able to call on some demonic aid.

5. Summoning and crap. How vulnerable are we to this shit now that we are a demon?

6. Dying on this plane. What happens? Are we considered native to THIS world, and thus we're shit out of luck? Or native to hell?
If we're sent to hell, how hard is it to return?
>>
>>27771132
Sorry, opposing council are all sapient genital warts, a beholder, and a former senator.
>>
>>27771156
You...
>Find these terms acceptable
>Find these terms unnacceptable, and leave.
>Find these terms unacceptable, and try to coerce information through other means.
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27771156
>I need to consult my attorney before signing any papers
>Slap Finnegan in the face
>if he doesn't wake up, slap him again
>Keep on slapping.
>>
>>27771178
>Find these terms acceptable

This works.
>>
>>27771178
>>Find these terms acceptable
Let's just get this done already. More progression less boring bits.

We can deal with the consequences later.
>>
Rolled 6

>>27771178
>>Find these terms acceptable
>>
>>27771162
So, more like this, then?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCMHmDnfD6I
>>
>>27771178

I'd like to at the least get an answer on points 1 through 3 here>>27771161

And possibly another question of >What state is my soul in? Like, who owns it, who does it belong to?

The other ones are more about just being a demon in general.

>Buuut, if the answers to that ARE good, then I'd find it acceptable!
>>
>>27771193
Quinn is Chaotic Evil, not Colossally Retarded.

I bet you don't even give your girl any foreplay, gat dam. Just be patient while we hammer out the finer points.
>>
>>27771178
FIRST, get details on the defense pact, then
>Find these terms acceptable
>>
>>27771178

>Find these terms acceptable
>>
>>27771193
Bad Anon, bad.
>>27771178
>[WRITE IN]
So what happens if I fail to keep up my end of the deal?
>>
>>27771178
>>Find these terms unacceptable, and try to coerce information through other means.
WE ALREADY TRUSTED A DEMON AND LOOK WHAT IT GOT US. This whore is not our friend, Finnegan isn't even our friend.
>>
>>27771178
answers to >>27771161 then I'll make up my mind
>>
>>27771178

>>Find these terms acceptable
>>
>>27771214

And plus what >>27771205 and >>27771161 said.
>>
>>27771178
>Find these terms acceptable
Very much so
>>
>>27771178
>Find these terms acceptable

Sure, why not. It's not like we're planning on stopping with the murdering anytime soon. Or ever.
>>
>>27771199
Not surreal enough.
>>
>>27771178
>27771178
for the love of Papa Vlad, get answers to >>27771161 first
>>
>>27771250
Dear god, much more surreal and we hit full dada.

And you NEVER want to go full dada.
>>
>>27771161
1.) This is easy knowledge. Ritualistic murder. Hell, just murder in general works.

2.) Purer souls count for more months.

3.) You get dragged down to the lower circle and get informed that you are late on you dues. Which would be surprising, consider you murder plenty of people, so it would probably get dismissed as a paperwork error and they'd go claim a soul from your "Shits and Giggles" death pile. (Bonus of being the Champion of Tepes - everyone you kill gets sent to hell to be tortured, one way or another).

4.) Do you see a succubus getting assaulted? If yes, then assist. If no, then don't assist. Every now and then, an Ira or a... crap, I forget the latin word for Greed... might call you to help with one of their zany (and usually violent) schemes. You can do that too, though abusing it will get you ignored when you really need it.

5.) As long as you're on this plane, you're fine.

6.) You get sent to hell. Not too hard to return, as you can just hop on the next ritual summoning. You'll lose your benefits as Champion of Tepes though.
>>
>>27771178
>Find these terms unnacceptable, and leave.
>>
>>27771287
You think Dada is the end game? You think this is a motherfuckin' game?

Dada doesn't have shit on Hell's appellate courts.

Also, oh man, there's some Soylent Green footage in there!
>>
>>27771291
if six happens
we just track down the fucker who killed us and shove our glaive where the sun don't shine
>>
>>27771291
>Upon consultation with my legal-eagle
>wag eagle cage
>I have considered these terms and will find them agreeable should you shake my hyperweapon.
>>
>>27771291
>crap, I forget the latin word for Greed
Google Translate's top two results are cupiditas and avaritia. I'd personally go with the latter due to it being the root of avarice.
>>
>>27771291
right then
>Find these terms acceptable

on point 6, if we do, we are hunting the fucker who did it down and will reclaim our benefits and title just on what punishments we do to that 1 being alone
>>
>>27771351
Yeah yeah yeah, one major Succubus type for each of the Saligia, you're an Ira, she's a Luxuria, and trust me when I say you don't want to meet a Gula - bitches be fat as a tumblr feminist.
>>
>>27771384
gluttony?
>>
>>27771385
Yep!

The succubi in this setting are beings, in essence, born out of excess. Excessive Pride, Excessive Rage (that's you!), Excessive Lust, Excessive Gluttony, Excessive Greed, Excessive Slothfulness, and Excessive Envy.

Acedia Succubi are the most moe of the succubi, as they spend most of their time lazing around in the smallest form that takes the least energy to maintain. Of course, you never see them summoned except on rare occasion because they're too lazy to do anything.
>>
>>27771291
3. that is a GREAT bonus perk there. We totally need to do more taunting about that fact as we kill people

ACCEPT THE SISTERHOOD
>>
>>27771384
What possiblities can we do to Miss Blue with our demon powers
>>
>>27771291

Well hell, sign me the fuck up!
>6.) You get sent to hell. Not too hard to return, as you can just hop on the next ritual summoning. You'll lose your benefits as Champion of Tepes though.

Well given that before this if we had died we'd just be dead... this isn't a negative at all. The only question is if we can work our way into being the Champion of Tepes again if that happens.

>>27771340
>Upon consultation with my legal-eagle
>wag eagle cage
Heh.
>>
>>27771468
>Champion of Tepes again if that happens.

Slaughter. Everyone. above.
>>
>>27771468
>The only question is if we can work our way into being the Champion of Tepes again if that happens.

Of course, we just have to kill the fucker who took our spot. Maybe jump through a couple extra hoops.
>>
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>>27771465
>>
>>27771438
I would say we could also be a Avaritas, Superbia or perhaps an Invidia.
>>
>>27771482
By this I assume you mean hop a few impaled corpses right?
>>
>>27771491
Nah. Too murderous to be anything else. He's pretty vain, but not to the point of basically going full ruinous power about it.

Khornate, son!

I like the part about death just being a slight inconvenienced involving a bus ride full of sweaty, disgusting neckbeard devils.
>>
>>27771340
Made me laugh, Go for it
>>
>>27771444
I actually don't see that as an excellent bonus perk from the standpoint of an Artisan of Suffering (though it obviously is from a "devotee of Tepes" standpoint).

The idea that anyone you kill, regardless of how quickly, slowly, brutally or mercifully goes right from our tender ministrations to an eternal torture pit kind of diminishes the impact of the torturing we put our blood, blood, blood, sweat and tears into on the material plane.

That said, if this was a thing that would actually get to us on a metaphysical level, we'd have been reborn as a being of excessive Pride rather than Rage. I'd imagine that rather than pondering how unfortunate it is that however great our methods of torture are, they're going to eventually be overshadowed by eternal suffering in the pits, we'd rather just get right back to the fun stuff.
>>
>>27771444
>We totally need to do more taunting about that fact as we kill people
We really should.
THAT'S HOW WE CAN GET BLUE TO MURDER AN INNOCENT! We tell her that little tidbit, then tell her "You can spare them that. Just kill them. With this rusty spoon."
>>
>>27771540
hah. "It's better for their souls if you kill them, instead of me." That's horrible. do it.
>>
Wait. What are we gonna tell our boss? And more importantly, how much trouble would we be in, theoretically? Actually, nevermind. Facepalming is probably a regular feature in any reports we send to the ONE guy above us who isn't Papa Vlad
>>
>>27771573
Now we just need to figure out a way to sexually excite her while she does it, for purposes of Pavlovian conditioning.
Anyone know if there's an item in PF that can be used like those little-bitty egg vibrators?
>>
>>27771574
I think we're cool. Vlad's down for general murder and ritual sacrifice - it's about the journey with him.

The soul goes right down to hell anyways, since we're already Tepes, so we basically make both bosses happy doing what we've already been doing.

Now we get a sweet bennies package.
>>
>>27771540
fucking brilliant
>>
>>27771574
Demons are the Angels of Quinn's Religion.

He'd facepalm that Quinn was awarded with the -honor- of such an ascension.
>>
>>27771590
That might be too much at once. If you push too hard metal just breaks, instead of changing shape.
>>
>>27771574
"Dear high impaler'
>>
>>27771615
Right. Soft touch. We're not going for a brute force mindbreak, but for slow, creeping corruption.
>>
>>27771636
You know, I'm perfectly content to just torture in new and interesting ways. Forcing her to kill people instead of us is primarily awesome because she won't want to do it.
>>
>>27771636
Right, we start with the puppies and kittens, let her know that if she doesn't kill this kitten with her bare hands it is going to burn in hell forever.

Then we move up to people, showing her the fun side of life, vibrators, all that stuff.

There's a progression to these things.
>>
>>27771648

Not once she learns their immortal soul keeps going to hell.

Hell, if she kills them, they might go to heaven~!
>>
>>27771651
Is there a kitten hell?
>>
>>27771618
'I accidentally an entire cult and myself into a succubus. How you been doing?' All our reports are locked away and it is hoped most worshipers don't take notes to accurately.
>>
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"Fuck." you state.

"Yes please!" Augusta replies.

"No, I mean a great idea popped into my head," you explain. "But I was too godamned shortsighted to bring the cage up with me. I've got this -puppet- thing going on, and I sort of killed this half elven cunt earlier and stole her familiar, and well - long story short - I was going to whip out the cage and claim it to be my legal eagle. Who I have decided to consult with on all contracts now after the thing with the Pillar."

The succubus blinks at you, an opportunity you take to get a feel on those knockers of hers. Not quite as big as Ms. Blue's, but they're nice and firm and fit well into your hands.

"Skinship aside, does that mean you accept the terms?" she asks.

"Yeah, sure, why not," you say. "It'll be a heck of a lot easier than trying to learn things on my own, that's for sure. Plus, I've got a bit of a headstart on my Blackguard homework, and well, now I can be the friendly outsider she contacts!"

"Everyone wins!" Augusta declares, doing a little fistpump that does interesting things to her anatomy. "Now, get naked sister! I'm gonna go find us a sheep!"

With a cutesy little cheer, she vanishes in a pop.

You...
>Knock out Finnegan before you strip. His wife might be a slut, but you have your pride as a woman.
>Just strip down starkers. It's not like Finnegan isn't half asleep from his wife's blowjob, after all.
>Go to the guestroom and strip. Then, test out your new equipment while you wait for Augusta to get back with a sheep.
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27771664
>Hell

heh. heh.

You're allright, kid.
>>
>>27771680
>Knock out Finnegan before you strip. His wife might be a slut, but you have your pride as a woman.
>Go to the guestroom and strip. Then, test out your new equipment while you wait for Augusta to get back with a sheep.
>>
>>27771680
>>Just strip down starkers.

And

>>Then, test out your new equipment while you wait for Augusta to get back with a sheep.
>>
>>27771648
Wasn't the plan to become, like, evil buddy cops? Buddy serial killers? Whatever you'd call it?
>>27771680
>Knock out Finnegan before you strip. His wife might be a slut, but you have your pride as a woman.
He is not worthy to gaze upon one so magnificent as we.
>>
>>27771705

>Whatever you'd call it?

a waifu
>>
>>27771680
Personally, 3 is my fetish, but it seems a little OOC for our guy. He just got his hyperweapon back, after all.

>Knock out Finnegan before you strip. His wife might be a slut, but you have your pride as a woman.
>>
>>27771680
>Just strip down starkers. It's not like Finnegan isn't half asleep from his wife's blowjob, after all.

Meh.
>>
>>27771680
Side room, but no testing. Let the pro guide us. Plus, knockers.
>>
>>27771705
Eh. Conflicting opinions. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
>>
>>27771680
>>Go to the guestroom and strip. Then, test out your new equipment while you wait for Augusta to get back with a sheep.
Sounds good!
>>
>>27771680
>>Go to the guestroom and strip. Then, test out your new equipment while you wait for Augusta to get back with a sheep.
>>
>>27771574
>any reports we send to the ONE guy above us who isn't Papa Vlad
This strikes me as something that would be awfully pointless, since it's probably way easier to jump the chain of command slightly and just commune with the man himself on any matter that actually requires addressing.

That said, I could see Quinn making a point of sending reports to the guy regardless, just out of courtesy. He also understands that the High Impaler probably has better things to do than read reports that almost certainly only concern him, personally, so I'd imagine Quinn doesn't take them terribly seriously.

>Yo, Big Stabs:
>Cool news. Stumbled across a bunch of no-name cultists who accidentally into the Abyss. Shit taste in ritual sacrifice, though, so I let the giant wheel of fire and eyes they Gated in know that he could probably just eat them. Gave me a boon for my trouble too, which was pretty excellent of him.

>Or it would've been if he hadn't turned my outie into an innie for a while, but I handled things. The High Impaler (not you, your Stabbiness, my euphamistic one) is back in working order.

>Keep up the good bureaucracy, Murderpope.

>Quinn Taylor

>P.S.: Still not sure whether or not the tone of these reports is heretical, but seeing as you haven't sent any replies to confirm or deny, I'll just keep 'em coming.
>>
>>27771699
seconded
>>
>>27771680
>>Go to the guestroom and strip. Then, test out your new equipment while you wait for Augusta to get back with a sheep.
>>
>>27771735
lol'd. The PS isn't quite the man with two first names, though, otherwise good report, will file your material requests ahead of others.
>>
>>27771735

>package arrives on High Impaler's Desk.

>open package
>some random's head
>head was magicked by quin
>starts rambling report to the high stabs while stinking to the high heavens.
>>
>>27771735
I like it.
>>
>>27771735
Oh my god I'm dying.
>>
>>27771735
Sweet Tepes what did my sides do to be in this hell! I could totally see Quinn writing that.
>>
>>27771680
>Just strip down starkers. It's not like Finnegan isn't half asleep from his wife's blowjob, after all.
>>
>>27771764
Yes. All of my peasant kebabs.
>>
>>27771680
>Just strip down starkers. It's not like Finnegan isn't half asleep from his wife's blowjob, after all.
>>
>>27771680
>Go to the guestroom and strip. Then, test out your new equipment while you wait for Augusta to get back with a sheep.

We should probably be nice to Finnegan, she seems to like him and we like her.
>>
>>27771763
You made me remember that Chaos didn't like my suggestion for quin's name Honcho the moncho
or was it moncho the honcho
either way
I will reuses it
>>
>>27771735
And now for some reason I wanna start sending the high up members of Blue's order threatening letters by carrier pigeon.
>>
>>27771808
We do? She's OK I guess, but Like is a strong word .
>>
>>27771825

Honcho Moncho, Legal Eagle Mondo
>>
>>27771829
Correction: We like her tits, and ass, and lewdness. We want more of it, therefore we should leave Finn be.
>>
>>27771829
we should at the very least not piss of either of them, Finn is useful to us, she is good decoration, and she is bound to Finn
>>
>>27771851
yes
>>
>>27771829
Not drinking buddy tier, but overall useful for our purposes, hot as hell, and pretty easy to get along with.
>>
>>27769423
>"Wait, I'm a Succubus now, right?" you ask, holding up a hand to stop whatever lewd introduction to the species ritual Augusta has planned. "Succubi, while formed of the base desires of humans - fucklust, bloodlust, wanderlust,
>wanderlust

Wait I just noticed -- there are Succubi of WANDERLUST? That's... uh... kinda funny.

Althought... while that said that succubi are MADE of excessive lusts like that, that doesn't mean that there ARE succubi of wanderlust -- i.e. it could be that a succubus is made from a human who had strong wanderlust, but then as a succubus she gains an affinity to one of the main 7(ish?) sins.

... Or maybe there really ARE succubi of wanderlust.
>>
>>27771921
Every lust gets a succubi. The big 7 are just the most famous.
>>
Rolled 48

>>27771921
>Succubi of WANDERLUST
They're called adventurers, I guess.
>>
>>27771827
Not threatening, just ones making a mockery of them.

>Missing Paladin's Diary, Day 4. I think he has been feeding me my mount.

>Missing Paladin's Diary, Day 15. Never mind, anything would be better than this slop. I could really go for some celestial charger.

>Missing Paladin's Diary, Day 36. Achilles still hasn't sent anyone to help me. What a shit deity.

That said, we're not a Republic serial villain oh who am I kidding, we totally are so no point in letting them know that something's amiss before our plan has at least started to come to fruition.
>>
>>27771540
There's also all sorts of fun like "Now Blue, if you hold her down for her father to rape her, I won't kill her and send her soul to be raped for all eternity. I know, I know, you're thinking 'he's going to kill her anyway' but the thing is, if I did that, she wouldn't be able to have incestuous rape-babies. And besides, her father begged to take her place, and this was the price he paid to buy his ticket to hell.
>>
>>27771827
>>27772010
Dear Chief Replacement,

I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you're curious about the frequency of which I send these letters, it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey. Then I will proceed to have sex with.

That's right.

I'm going to FUCK the fear turkey.

Sincerely, Quinn Taylor, Champion of Tepes
>>
>>27772114
Our last words, should we ever be destroyed commpletely, have GOT to be "The Aristocrats."
>>
>>27772118
>>27772143
So, we're going to become TFS Abridged Alucard?

I'm pretty okay with that, actually.
>>
>>27772168
all evil quest character eventually do
>>
>>27772010

Lost it at "celestial charger'.
>>
>>27772177
Either him or Jan Valentine.
>>
>>27772168
Speaking of, we're due for a new one, aren't we?

>just burning time til next post
>>
>>27772202
Probably gonna go up on Halloween.
>>
>>27772202
Yep, every Halloween.
>>
>>27772168
Considering that our banter with the big-tittied wizard bitch last thread involved a direct reference to his "only with less symbolism and more 'my penis in your vagina'" line, I'd say "yes."
>>
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You slink out of the foyer and into one of the guest rooms to strip. It's not that you're embarassed or anything - you've got some truly marvelous knockers what would launch a thousand ships, after all! - you just have your bride as a woman. Which is weird, because you're a guy. You put it down to a subconscious recognition that Finnegan is not worthy of laying eyes on your amazingly perfect body, and leave it at that. There is also the matter of your unsated curiosity regarding the differences between men and women in certain regards, and figure that it will take Augusta a bit of time to find a sheep to use.

Once out of your armor, you take a good look in the mirror and find that you like what you see. You already got to know the blond hair and green eyes slapped upon that avian looking face - you're all harsh angles and subtle curves up there, the alpha type of feminine that knows precisely what she's worth and isn't afraid to rub it in the face of lesser bitches. Your rack's familiar too - still every bit as big and perky, a nice size for making Ms. Blue feel inadequate if you were so inclined.

It's your quim's what has got you the most interested in this particular outing - smooth, soft and hairless as the rest of you. Its folds tucked firmly within itself, nice and proper and knowing it's place, not flailing about like some sort of fleshy rose, trying too hard at being a metaphor. And your ass - just looking at the parts you can spot in the mirror does funny things to your cunt.

Yeah, that settles it.

You're exactly the sort of girl you'd plow this shit out of while her somewhat less attracitve sister watched, the day after you got engaged to said less attractive sister.

>Field too long.
>>
>>27772328
The thought of being said more attractive sister sends an odd shiver down your spine. That sort of feminine dominance - that primal feeling of being the one the strongest man in the tribe takes to his bed and gives his protection, while the older and less beautiful women watch - yeah, that's got an appeal to you. Maybe you'd do just as well as an Invidia; taking what is someone else's and making it -yours-... you suppose that's how you would have been, if you were born with a cunt instead of a cock.

You reach down to your quim and give a a slick touch - those thoughts have you all lubed up and nothing to fill the aching gap. Your fingers will do well enough for now - if you ever decide to lose your female virginity, you'll not waste it on physical pleasure. It's worth far more than that - lot of powerful magic can be done around the breaking of a hymen.

You flop onto the bed, cupping a tit in one hand and dancing around your cunt with the other. The pride of having a body that is simply -worth more- than the common wretches on the streets drive you forward, the thoughts of stealing what is their build with the sharp pleasure a tweek to your clit matched with the mashing of your tit. And then the overture moves into its final act, pressure building like the steady roar of the base as your hands play the part of the pianist.

Your voice joins as the music builds within you, a husky contralto singing hymns to the pleasures of the flesh. The pace and rhythm build, the climax of the song approaches as you sing wordless praises to Tepes, the melody lyricked with tales of the deaths upon the field of Wallachia. And as the lamentations of their women build, the flood dams burst and the chorus reaches it's climax.

>Field too long
>>
>>27772341

Your vision goes red with the blood of your enemies, for the briefest moment as orgasm wracks your body. It takes a few moments for you to catch your breath, and you note that the sheets on this bed are thoroughly soaked. That was... quite the experience.

You hear a slow clapping coming from the door, and turn to see the naked form of Augusta.

"Damn," she says, still bravoing your recital. "You're -loud- girl. I swear, I could hear you back in the Fangs. It only took me a few minutes to get the sheep, but you were so into it, I'd have felt bad interrupting."

>You're a demon. Aren't you supposed to be a cunt whenever possible?
>Yes, well. I suppose Amelia was right - women do have certain advantages in that regard.
>You said the sisterhood induction wasn't going to be lewd. Why do we have to do it naked, again?
>[WRITE IN]
>>
>>27772341
I have a feeling tepes is watching us masturbate
>>
>>27772347
>Get on with it.jpg
>>
>>27772362
Every time you masturbate, Tepes crucifies a kitten in front of the little girl it belongs to.
>>
>>27772347
seconding >>27772366
>>
>>27772347
>You said the sisterhood induction wasn't going to be lewd. Can we make it lewd instead?
>>
>>27772347
>[WRITE IN]
Well, now we're ready, let's kill this thing.
>>
>>27772366

Actually now that I think about it, I figure I'll throw in a mention of Amelia instead. Wonder if there's any chance she'd recognize the name?


>Yes, well. I suppose Amelia was right - women do have certain advantages in that regard.
>>
>>27772347
>>27772398

>Amelia

Refresh my memory?
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>>27772419
The person we left blue with I think
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>>27772347
>>Yes, well. I suppose Amelia was right - women do have certain advantages in that regard.
"And come on, as if you didn't go and get your cock sucked at your earliest convenience just to see what it was like."

"Either way, let's get this show on the road."
>>
>>27772419
Owner of the manse of which Blue is currently residing in.
>>
>>27772419
The kinky rich bitch that likes to play with her quim while watching us torture people.
>>
I'm gonna call it a night with that post fellas. Really calling it a morning, but whatevs. I need sleep.

Next thread will be on Sunday.
>>
>>27772347
>Yes, well. I suppose Amelia was right - women do have certain advantages in that regard.
>>
>>27772445
HP Nasu on Thursday, right?
>>
>>27772347
>Yes, well. I suppose Amelia was right - women do have certain advantages in that regard.

Followed by
>>27772366
>>
>>27772445
G'night.
>>
>>27772457
Yep. Class got canceled, so I've got from ~6 to write, instead of ~9.
>>
>>27772473
Neato, see you then.
>>
Also, Archive is here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/27765269/
>>
Goddamn i just came into the thread and was catching up, why the hell would you people get attached to an order of succubi when we can impale one and make her speal the beans.
>>
>>27772473
Awesome!
>>
>>27772528
I honestly don't know.

I was fully expecting everyone to have Quinn flip the shit out, kill Finnegan, and then brutalize Augusta until she either broke completely and fell apart in the head, spilt everything you could have wanted to know, or both. While none of the options were out of character, that was the most in character route.
>>
>>27772588
Demons and Devils are Evil so killing them is good. We don't want more debt. Also, they don't perma die, and would probably come back at an innoportune time.
>>
>>27772588

How exactly do you keep a demon with at-will Teleport from running away? Or from killing herself and thus respawning back in hell?

Plus, I personally kinda thought that a DEMON would be made of sterner stuff than a mortal.
>>
>>27772445
sad that we only got some contract lawyering done today but was fun, can you throw up a link to the thread on twitter when you start it
>>
>>27772614
You have the spell breaker feat, and you hit so hard that it would have been nearly impossible for her to make the concentration check even if you were only throwing non-lethal punches. Plus, you -can- use spell craft to ritual up yourself things like Magic Circle Against X.
>>
>>27772649

This is sort of better now.

No use just murderhoboing a useful/terrified ally.
>>
>>27772588
>>27772649

To be fair, we may be CE and a devout worshiper of Tepes, but we're also packing some pretty good Int and Wis scores. We aren't stupid.
>>
hey Prof, whats the reason you don't link or announce ABC threads in your twitter?
>>
>>27772684
HP Nasu wasn't his first quest. None of his other ones had twitters.
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>>27772704
still doesn't answer the question...
>>
>>27772704
Not understanding your point there, but this quest is worthy of its own twitter if the good Professor likes to keep them separatte.
>>
>>27772663
True. Though I do think I should make a note here, just for future reference.

Quinn is a very smart, very intelligent man, even more so after he got himself transformed into a succubus. He failed out of Wizard School not because of a lack of Intellect, but because he got bored and wanted to see some action. So he became the violent sadist he was always meant to be, and uses his prodigious talent to make other people piss themselves in terror. Because it amuses him.

He has enough formal training to perform ritual magic competently. For your average non-caster, a ritual is DC 25+Spell Level (DC 15 + Spell Level base, +5 for not being a caster, +5 for lack of formal training). For Quinn, it's DC 20+Spell Level. Ritual spells take 10 minutes per spell level to cast use your hit dice as your CL, and can mimick pretty much any spell in the game.

>>27772673
Oh yes, I am well aware, which is why your actions were not out of character (and may indeed be a sign of character development). I try to steer the quest away from things that are too out of character - like excessive contract lawyering. Quinn looks out for evil, evil looks out for Quinn - he's a bit more careful to get the minutiae after his transformation, but paperwork -bores- him, and he doesn't care if he doesn't get excessively screwed over.

Something that can be broken with Remove Curse does not count as excessive, as he has friends who can cast that. Something close to permanent and a net loss, would be.

>>27772684
That is a very good question. I'll rectify that next thread.
>>
>>27772755
>He has enough formal training to perform ritual magic competently. For your average non-caster, a ritual is DC 25+Spell Level (DC 15 + Spell Level base, +5 for not being a caster, +5 for lack of formal training). For Quinn, it's DC 20+Spell Level. Ritual spells take 10 minutes per spell level to cast use your hit dice as your CL, and can mimick pretty much any spell in the game.

Does Quinn count as a "caster" now that he has spells available to him, at-will/per-day/etc?

For that matter, does he get less bored by magic now that he got a decent int/wis boost? For instance, maybe he's smart enough and has a demonic affinity for magic such that he can just learn magic *fast enough* that he doesn't get bored by it?


Alternatively... Why not Sorcerer?

Seriously. Charisma casters. Using innate magical potential. (Or something like that. I think.)

It sounds like Spontaneous Casting would be less boring and scholarly than Prepared Casting.

Now that he's a demon, any chance he could Sorcerer shit up instead of Wizard shit up?
>>
>>27772785
Why would we want that when we can continue gutting people without our MOTHERFUCKING GLAIVE?
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>>27772800

You can set people on fire more effortlessly than before.

Also, Prestidigitation shenanigans.

And just generally being an asshole with magic.

Basically -- if you can find a shortcut to getting magic in a way that DOESN'T bore Quinn? That's great. You have access to magic and you didn't have to do boring shit for it.
>>
>>27772785
No. While he has those at will, those are spell like abilities. Still subject to concentration checks (I'm fairly sure, and sticking with that regardless), but they're more a "Technique that you can do" than a "Ritual you can internalize". You need spell slots to be a caster.

You also will not be gaining any further levels, so sorcerer is a no go. Instead, every 10000 EXP (gained mostly through killing things, though you do gain a flat rate of 1000 per thread) you get a feat from a pool that I choose. You MAY at some point be able to unlock a feat that grants non-ritual casting, but the vast majority of sorcerers in this setting are Sage Bloodline.

The feats coming up in after 2 more threads (or one more fight) are:

>Abundant Step (Allows you to have a quicker, shorter ranged teleport. Opens up the Dimensional Agility Line of Feats.)
>Combat Reflexes (You Obtain Attacks of Opportunity!)
>Dodge (This Opens up the Mobility Line of Feats and Wind Stance)
>Improved Unarmed Strike (This Opens Up Style Feats)
>Greater Weapon Specialization (+2 Damage!)
>Improved Critical (Doubles your Critical Range)
>Shatter Defenses (Demoralized Foes are Flat Footed)
>Step Up (Opens up the Step Up and Strike Line of Feats)
>Vital Strike (Opens Up the Vital Strike Line of Feats)

IUS is probably the best choice you can make, because -holy fucking shit style feats are great- in E6 and E10.

Bear in mind, that while Quinn does find books boring, he is a Warrior-Scholar. He's like a monk, except he doesn't suck balls at melee.
>>
Well I have no idea what... basically ALL of those follow-up feats are. Possibly due to a lack of familiarity with Pathfinder. Possibly due to not having played DND for years.

I'm skeptical on the usefulness of Improved Unarmed Strike (though I've heard anecdotes that, in DND, it actually made you better than a monk in some ways or something?) but I'll take your word for it.

What about Power Attack and Cleave stuff?

>>27772981

Er, do we get Combat Reflexes (plus a few others like... Weapon Finesse or something..?) automatically as a Succubus? Or is it that, rather, it is assumed that most Succubi earned/trained-up to get that feat?


>You MAY at some point be able to unlock a feat that grants non-ritual casting, but the vast majority of sorcerers in this setting are Sage Bloodline.

How 'bout something like Warlock Invocations?
>>
>>27772981
Hm. Which is Quinn most likely to learn through murder...
>>
>>27772981

What the heck is step up.

>greater weapon spec

This looks like a bad choice. considering that Quin already does 33 dmg.
>>
>>27772981
>Shatter Defenses
Fit him good. Enemies will be even more helpless against Quinn.
>>
>>27773039
On it's own, improved unarmed strike is useless.

However, it is a requirement for the style feats, most of which are phenomenal... if you have enough feats to grab them. Crane Wing lets you negate that natural 20 the enemy just rolled, being a melee version of snatch arrows. Kirin Strike deals twice your intelligence modifier damage if you hit at least once in a round. Dragon style is necessary if you want to get your punch on (treating unarmed as a two handed weapon), and it's capstone - Dragon roar - is essentially FUS ROH DAH.

Greater Weapon Spec is mediocre - more damage in never -bad-, especially when you're in a feat heavy environs, but it's not excellent.

Step Up is "Oh you try to take a five foot step to escape my reach? Too bad!" Which leads to Step up and Strike, which is a free attack to anyone who tries to disengage you as -well- as negating their ability to disengage.

Abundant Step is Dimension Door as a Move Action, and is a prereq for Dimensional Dervish, which is basically DBZ teleporting all over the place and moving so fast you can provide yourself flanking bonuses. If you grab Great Cleave, you can teleport every time you drop someone and become an army breaker.

Cleave should have been on that list, since Quinn doesn't have it yet (I thought he did). He has power attack already though.

I'll be using Improved Critical instead of Critical Focus to open up the "Special Stuff Besides Damage On A Crit" feats, so in addition to making everything 17 and higher a crit, you can get stuff like "Oh, and they're stunned".

Vital Strike amounts to "attacks made after you move deal 6 more damage."

You don't get reflexes automatically, those are the feats they get from Hit Dice.
>>
>>27773198
I like the sound of Cleave teleport army slaying shenanigans.
>>
>>27773198
>Abundant Step is Dimension Door as a Move Action, and is a prereq for Dimensional Dervish, which is basically DBZ teleporting all over the place and moving so fast you can provide yourself flanking bonuses. If you grab Great Cleave, you can teleport every time you drop someone and become an army breaker.
This is just awesome. I'm too attached to our glaive to go for IUS.
>>
>>27773277
Note that going that route basically locks you as a succubus, because fluff wise, it amounts to choose to sacrifice distance for speed with your at will teleport.
>>
>>27773308
So with time we can't pick up all the feats, some lock others out?
>>
>>27773322
>>27773322
No no no. You can pick up all the feats with time.

What I'm saying is that the Abundent Step feat will be wasted if you every permanently lose the ability to teleport.
>>
>>27773333

And that only comes with being a succubus. Right.
>>
>>27773333
I'm confident in our ability not to lose it. Or at the very least make it count while we have it. I can already see a battle with some pesky adventurers by using that ability.. Or maybe not adventurers, but some rescue party for Blue. Which we slaughter in front of her eyes.

Despair all around, baby.
>>
>>27773198
The Step Up series seems utterly useless seeing as it specifies that you can only use it to respond to a 5-foot step from an adjacent enemy, and our glaive is a reach weapon, which means we never want to be adjacent to begin with.

Crane Wing requires one hand free, which means no Glaive again, and requires FOUR feats to get to (IUS, Crane Stance, Dodge, and then Crane Wing).

Kirin Style and Strike requires 3 feats, and Kirin Style overlaps hugely with Lore Warden's Know Thy Enemy (albeit taking three Swift Actions to start getting good (enter the stance, analyze with Kirin Style, activate 2xInt damage after an attack) rather than Know Thy Enemy's one standard action, which is generally a bit practical.) We'd have to spend at least three rounds in combat focused on a single enemy before we start taking advantage of Kirin Strike's bonus damage, which makes it a lot less good than it seems.

Dragon Style looks ok, but again, locks us into unarmed and Dragon Roar is even more unattainable than Crane Wing (requiring IUS, Dragon Style, Stunning Fist, Dragon Ferocity, Dragon Roar.)

>>27773251
This does sound pretty badass, all said.

Not sure where we're going to be getting Abundant Step from, and we don't have access to Dimension Door either, though, so I can't figure out how that tree is getting opened up at all.
>>
>>27773378
Slaughter the men, yeah.

The women, we rape into lifeless husks while blue watches with a vibrator up her cunt.
>>
>>27773412
>Not sure where we're going to be getting Abundant Step from

first listed in possible choices here >>27772981
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>>27773412
I think it''s a custom feat the DM is giving us the option to take. He says in >>27773308 that it would amount to being able to "choose to sacrifice distance for speed with your at will teleport".
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>>27773422
Yeah, I wasn't making myself terribly clear, sorry.

As far as I can see, Abundant Step isn't a feat at all; it's just a Monk class feature.

The Dimensional Agility line ARE feats, with a prerequisite of either having Abundant Step or the ability to cast Dimension Door, neither of which we have (unless we're being allowed to substitute the ability to use Greater Teleport for the Dimension Door prerequisite.)

>>27773458
So it's more or less just a fluff pre-prerequisite feat to let us repurpose Greater Teleport for the Dimensional Agility line? Or will it actually allow us to use the monk version of Abundant Step somehow (which is functionally a one-man only dimension door, but as a move action rather than a standard action, even with it removing our remaining actions for the turn after using it.)

If the latter, that seems very, very difficult to turn down.
>>
>>27773499
Probably the latter.
>>
>>27773308

Ah, is that "choose to sacrifice distance for speed" literal?

If we go with the Abundant Step stuff, we don't have the awesome range of at-will Greater Teleport?

>>27773499
I gotta admit I'm not too sure on sacrificing the sheer "Need to get the fuck out of here" strategic mobility of Greater Teleport...

>This spell functions like teleport, except that there is no range limit and there is no chance you arrive off target. In addition, you need not have seen the destination, but in that case you must have at least a reliable description of the place to which you are teleporting. If you attempt to teleport with insufficient information (or with misleading information), you disappear and simply reappear in your original location. Interplanar travel is not possible.

Hell, with this, overland travel becomes a snap. We can go wherever the fuck we want *instantly*. We can get out of troublesome situations easily. It's just... just so amazingly useful.


Hmmm... Hey, what about Flying-related Feats? Such as ones to improve maneuverability; currently its only "Average" maneuverability. Being able to get Perfect Maneuverability would be pretty cool.
>>
>>27773308
Fuck that route then.
>>
>>27773620
>Ah, is that "choose to sacrifice distance for speed" literal?
I don't think that's the case mate. They're pretty different abilities at the core, we'd most likely get both up until the point we stop being a succubus for whatever reason.


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