Harry James Potter

[ATTRIBUTES]

[4] Strength - D+ "You're a wiry lad, built for speed more than strength."
[9] Agility - A "You're fast on your feet and quick with your reflexes"
[6] Endurance - C+ "You're cousin's made sure you can take a beating."
[8] Intelligence - B+ "You're no genius, but you're smarter than most."
[7] Luck - B "You've got better luck than most."
[9] Circuit Quality (CQ) - A [13 Prana per Circuit]
[8] Circuit Quantity (CC) - B+ [26 Circuits, four of which have been opened]

Magic Circuits Open - 4/26
Prana Available - 52/52
Wounds - 0/6

[SKILLRATINGS]

[11] Academics (Mundane) [INT] - D
[10] Academics (Magecraft) [INT] - E+
[9 (11)] Academics (Wizarding) [INT] - E (D)
[13] Acrobatics [AGI] - D+
[10] Athletics [END] - D+
[13] Capioera [AGI] - D+
[13] Cooking [AGI] - D+
[10] Craft (Mystic Codes) [INT] - E+
[11] Discernment - D
[10] Mystic Eye Lore [LCK] - D
[10] Origin Magic [CQ] - E
[11] Reinforcement [CQ] - E+
[12] Stealth [AGI] - D
[9] Wandlore [CQ] - F

[TRAITS]

Spiteful - Your stealth rating increases by 2 when you're out for revenge.
Compassionate - Your healing spells cure one additional wound.

[PERKS]

Devil's Luck - You may temporarily reduce your luck attribute by 1 step to negate a critical hit against you.

Practiced Runner - Your Athletics rating is increased by 2 when running.

Multitasker I - Multitasking penalties to skill checks are reduced by 1.

Mystic Eyes of Death Perception - You see the Death of things, and deal additional wounds when using a knife.
[LEAST] - You can discern the difference between lines of concepts and lines of objects, allowing you to choose which to cut.

Mystic Eye Focus - You've grown accustomed to the use of your [MYSTIC EYES], and have unlocked it's [LEAST] secondary power.

Parseltongue - You possess the ability to understand and speak the language spoken by snakes and certain other reptiles.

True Magic Innoculation - Penalties for True Magic vs Sanity decrease by 2.

??? - ???

Wand of Maple and Dryad - You heal one additional wound when using Wand Magic to heal.

Spellcraft for Squibs - Up to rank B, add 1 rank to your Academics (Wizarding). Up to rank C, add 2 tanks.

The Threefold Spear - A spear that can take the form of a staff, a baton, a Hasta, a Lancea, and a Verutum.

??? - A dagger that, apparently, only you can perceive.

Mirror Phone - Your first mystic code, it is a clamshell mirror connected to a matching mirror you gave to Illya, allowing you to secretly communicate and stir up all kinds of ruckus.

MARTIN MIGGS Omnibus - Increases Fun Rating to A+.

>>27707550
You're alive! Picked a bad night yesterday to come back, huh?

>>Well, how do I know that you're not going to feed me to your familiar?

Anybody out there?

>>27707550
>Well, how do I know that you're not going to feed me to your familiar?
You've decided to try and lessen the hatred aimed at parseltongues. I hope you've done research on Saint Patrick, or Indian Parseltongues, African Parseltongues, Native American Parseltongues, and Druidic Parselttongues. There seems to be a pattern here. Anyway Slytherin seems to lean toward the duidic tradition with some malice added in. try to see if there are bird speakers, cat speakers, and whatever badgers are speakers.

Threadly reminder that the updated Ebook can be found at http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDb
And yes, it is actually updated this time.

>>27707550
>Well, how do I know that you're not going to feed me to your familiar?

Well, how do i know that you´re not going to feed me to your familiar? And besides Gil is way too small to eat anything bigger than a small rat.

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"Because I'm not an ass?" you reply. "I mean, seriously, I would have to be some sort of psychotic evil bastard to do something like that - and not just the 'killing you guys' bit. I'd have to figure out a way to get Gil a big enough stomach to fit a bunch of eleven year olds; right now, he can barely eat anything much bigger than your average garden rat."

"So you can do it!" Ernie declare triumphantly.

You do have to wonder what sort of Logic runs through the heads of these wizarding types, to be able to draw that sort of conclusion. Well, maybe because of your association with snakes, you're automatically presumed to be some sort of psychotic evil bastard, but still. You'd have to put -research- into doing that, and while it might be a fitting punishment for anyone who so much as scratches Illya's feelings, you're not going to be setting Gil on your roommates.

Which begs the question why that thought even popped through Paul's mind in the first place.

"Wait a second..." you say. "If you think I'm going to feed you to my familiar, how am I supposed to know whether or not you're going to try to do that to me, Paul?"

Paul tilts his head in confusion.

"Because I'm not a Parseltongue?" he... doesn't quite state it, it's more a question than a statement of fact. You think you may have gotten the wheels of thought spinning in this fellow's head. Maybe.

"What does being a parseltongue have to do with anything?" you ask. "Do people who can speak with their familiars tend to plot nefarious deeds or something?"

"Well yes," Ernie interrupts. "The Dark Lord was a Parseltongue, after all, and Lord only knows what sort of things he had his snake doing for him."

>Don't you think it's a bit gauche to be comparing me to my parent's killer?
>Yes, well, I suppose I don't have any reason to keep myself from following his example.
>Well, I suppose it's a good thing all of us are Badgers here. If a snake gives us any trouble, we'll just eat it.
>[WRITE IN]

Holy shit, it's this quest again. I thought you died. Again.

>>27708244
>Don't you think it's a bit gauche to be comparing me to my parent's killer?

>>27708244
>Yes, well, I suppose I don't have any reason to keep myself from following his example.
Followed by
>Don't you think it's a bit gauche to be comparing me to my parent's killer?
They just seem to blend well together.

>>27708244
>>Don't you think it's a bit gauche to be comparing me to my parent's killer?

>>27708244
>Don't you think it's a bit gauche to be comparing me to my parent's killer?

>>27708300
Oh yeah, and last thread, the whole Ilya thing really got out of hand, I think. I can't be the only one who felt that way.

>>27708381
>Oh yeah, and last thread, the whole Ilya thing really got out of hand, I think. I can't be the only one who felt that way.

Her lewdness?

That's actually why OP started A Black Comedy, so he'd have an outlet for that.

>>27708438
That wasn't a problem. I meant the conversation in the dorm room when Harry started talking about her for like an hour.

>>27708244
>[X] Don't you think it's a bit gauche to be comparing me to my parent's killer?
are you a retard?

>Man I should probably study for Chem
>Oh, what's that? HPNasu Time?
>Well fuck my education.
So ready.

>>27708244
>Don't you think it's a bit gauche to be comparing me to my parent's killer?
Also.
"Well, yeah, of course he had his snake do evil things. BECAUSE HE WAS EVIL. Pretty sure he'd have been evil with or without a pet snake.

Unless you think his snake was the mastermind all along or something silly like that."

Then assure Gil that referring to the Dark Lord's snake as a pet snake was hyperbole for the sake of explaining how silly they are being and is in no way to reflect on how we view him.

>>27708462
I agree with this. There's liking someone and there's liking someone.

>>27708566
That phrase loses a lot of meaning when you can't hear the stress on the second 'liking'.

>>27708590
I don't even think it was a matter of liking. It was a matter of obsession.

>>27708438
That Lancer thing? Haven't seen it in a while now- a month? Shame too, I loved it.

>>27708621
To be fair Harry is quantifiably insane. Without Illya there's a good chance he would just completely give into his origin and become a remorseless mass murderer.

He IS obsessed with her kinda. But yeah that scene was a bit wierd.

>>27708678
He threw up a thread for it last night while the server was shitting itself. He was long gone by the time anyone could actually post.

Decided to go with this instead, I guess.

>>27708679
Sure, but it's an entirely different idea. It's not a need for her, like oxygen. It's a dependency.

>>27708714
Right, like crystal meth.

>>27708679
Harry just needs to keep his crazy bottled up so nothing happens.

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You stare at Ernie, not quite understanding what he just said.

He compared you to -that man-. Normally, this would provoke a rather painful and violent response from you, that would have landed the poor sodding git in the hospital wing with one or more of his bones broken. Today has been a trying day for you, however, with more drama, stress, and excitement than you would have liked. There is still the urge to attack, to pull out a weapon or even just your fist and show this eyesore Ernie that you have no -need- to sic your familiar on people if you, in fact, were a psychotic and evil bastard. No you have -plenty- of ways to make people hurt, leave them writhing in agony, as if a thousand dull knives were slowly cutting into their skin and...

You notice that the other kids are gently backing away from you, as if you were emmitting some sort of malicious and hateful aura. Daniel - the youngest in your group by far - looks absolutely terrified, almost like he is going to cry. For the briefest moment you find yourself -enjoying- it, wanting to see the fear spill over into outright terror and let loose the dam that blocked the well of tears and sufferring and...

And then it hits you in the gut that if you go down that way, you'll just prove the point they're trying to make. More importantly, you'll be no different than -that man-. You calm yourself as best you can.

"Don't you think it's a little gauche," you... try not to spit, but spit remains the most appropriate verb... at Ernie. "To compare me to my parent's killer. I mean, I know that there's no reason for me not to strive to be like that sodding arse - besides, you know, familicide - but, you know, he kind of killed my family."

"Yeah, well..." Ernie doesn't have all that many words to give, though he, at least, seems appropriately shamed.

>field too long

>>27708831

The other kids all slink towards their beds, to tuck themselves for the night. You might as well too - today... today was not an auspicious day, and you'd really like to put it behind you, going forward. You commend yourself on the first impression you gave; that's not going to get you ostracized at -all- among your peers.

You dream of...
>An orphan who found a home within these halls.
>A still man with shadowed eyes, watching but never acting.
>A snake wrapped around the planet's self, an immortal wretch who lost his mind to senility.
>[WRITE IN]

>>27708845
Oh, how interesting. I think I'll vote for

>A still man with shadowed eyes, watching but never acting.

>>27708845
>A snake wrapped around the planet's self, an immortal wretch who lost his mind to senility.

>>27708845
>A still man with shadowed eyes, watching but never acting.

>>27708845
>A snake wrapped around the planet's self, an immortal wretch who lost his mind to senility.

>>27708845
>A snake wrapped around the planet's self, an immortal wretch who lost his mind to senility.

>>27708845
>A still man with shadowed eyes, watching but never acting.

Aaand we're tied.

>>27708845
>>A snake wrapped around the planet's self, an immortal wretch who lost his mind to senility.
HAHA, Time for MICHAEL MOTHERFUCKING ROA VALDAMJONG

>>27708845
>An orphan who found a home within these halls.
>A still man with shadowed eyes, watching but never acting.
>A snake wrapped around the planet's self, an immortal wretch who lost his mind to senility.

ALL OF THEM

>>27708989
This, I'm going with this

Rolled 50

>>27708845
>>An orphan who found a home within these halls.

>>27708845
>>A snake wrapped around the planet's self, an immortal wretch who lost his mind to senility.

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You dream of the oroboros, the snakes that consumes itself even as it weaves in and out of the Root, forgetting in its unending life more knowledge than most men will ever know. The scales of the oroboros look like a man, stretched and contorted by ages that his soul was never meant to see. Whatever remains of him is there no longer, the entity at once more than human, less than human. The lines that paint him are strange, contorted, shifting in ways that you can't quite follow, betraying the nature of the creature.

In a way, they look like your own. But in all other ways, you are nothing alike. Still, your curiosity takes hold of you, and you try to glimpse the world through his eyes and bear witness to the senile existance of an immortal.

But you cannot. The pieces are not in place, your existences are not so compatible that your souls could intermingle without one destroying the other. So you content yourself to stay, to watch, to see as the wyrm slithers out of the Root of Gaia and finds itself a place to nest. A process that is indescribtable, for it is a process that was never meant to happen, a process which simply by existing is anathema to your own understanding of the universe.

A process that is truly an eyesore.

Still, you follow his trail through the conceptual grasslands of space, observing the hunter who only knows how to exist as it looks for a prey that it can digest. It finds an blue egg somewhere in the depths of France, an unhatched chick that has yet to awaken to her nature. In a single gulp, it devours the egg whole, cracking through the layers of ignorance and awakening her to her Origin, before consuming it.

And there it nests, and in the light of the sun it will dream until it hungers once more. But a niggling curiosity begs the question - what will it dream of?

>Field too long.

>>27709349

>Perhaps you can see the serpent's dreams. You are curious, after all.
>Perhaps some other time. It is a small matter, nothing to concern yourself with.
>This snake is an eyesore. Why not try to become a mongoose?
>[WRITE IN]

>>27709349

>>27709366
>>27709349
>MAKE IT DREAM OF ONE HARRY POTTER

>>27709366
>>This snake is an eyesore. Why not try to become a mongoose?
This can only end well.

>>27709366
>Perhaps you can see the serpent's dreams. You are curious, after all.

>>27709379
I fucked that up.

>>27709366
>Perhaps you can see the serpent's dreams. You are curious, after all.

>>27709391
This.
Time to become a Snake.

Rolled 93

>>27709366
>>This snake is an eyesore. Why not try to become a mongoose?

>>27709366
>>This snake is an eyesore. Why not try to become a mongoose?

>>27709455
>>27709391
So, if we do that...we become Harry Valdamjong..?
At least that way we'll become super powerful.

>>27709349
Did Roa just become Ciel?

>>27709498
I don't think he "just" became Ciel. I think it was a memory of Roa's, whose current vessel is obviously Voldemort.

>>27709547
I'm not sure Roa would be entirely incompatible with us if he was nesting in Voldy.

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>>27709573
>>27709547
ARE WE SERIOUSLY IMITATING TSUKIHIME IN THE WAY I THINK WE ARE?

>>27709547
in retrospect, we should have seen that coming the moment we chose MEoDP

>>27709591
Nonsense, he just went to France. Actually, we might run into Frenchies anyway, so it isn't impossible for us to run into him.

>>27709591
That depends. Are you thinking that we've more or less replaced Shiki as the protagonist of Tsukihime and we'll have to deal with all of his problems as well as dealing with Hogwarts?

If so, Yes. We are.

>>27709591
I dont know, how do you think we're imitating tsukihime?

I mean its not like we're lusting after our sister or her maids or anything right?

>>27709591
>>27709609
...Did you guys REALLY not see this coming?

>>27709609
What are you talking about? People mentioned that might happen months ago.

>>27709632
Kerry adopted us, didn't he?

>>27709649
I thought it was just Voldy with his own eyes, not Roa taking voldy over

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>>27709630
Gee, the only way we could be more shiki is if we had a yellow cape/coat, an exceedingly nice male friend who we want to love us, and a puppet maker we work for.
And maid rape.

>>27709661
Yup.

>>27709632
If Prisma Illya is any indication... Lusting after maids is probably going to be a focus for dates in the future

>>27709679
>And maid rape.
I'm pretty sure Ilya will get some maids eventually, so this is pretty much guaranteed to also happen sooner or later.

>>27709679
Wrong Shiki.

>>27709661
no, he took us as a ward. We're still a potter, not an einzbern or emiya.

on the other hand, we are living with them, so it could amount to the same thing

>>27707550
This quest is back? Oh day of days!

>>27709591
Shit dude, even without a crossover the Roa-Shiki and Voldy-Harry dynamics were basically fucking identical.

>>27709700
No, no, no.
Shiki is shiki and shiki put shiki in shiki and harry is now shiki who skikis like shiki.

>>27707550
It lives? Oh happy Day!

>>27709630
So when are we going to meet that Hufflepuff prefect Ciel?

>>27709822
Well now we're dream stalking SHIKI's spirit, to boot.

>>27709822
I'm actually still hoping we manage to piss off Zelretch in the wrong (right?) way and get to meet the Triumvirate of One.

>>27709849
She's going to go to one of the other schools, we'll meet here in our 4th year when she participates in the triwizard tournament.
Either that, or she'll transfer to Hogwarts when our current prefects head off.

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You've decided that you hate this snake.

You can't really give a quantifiable reason why. The man, the being whom this snake represents is more pitiable than he is detestable, something to be sorry for. Like the three score and ten whom bore the cruciform, the endless cycle of regeneration has left him a degenerate and neutered husk, impotent save for the wild and haphazard lashing his instincts demand he strike any threat with. Perhaps that is why you hate him so, why a fire burns in your gut every second you lay eyes upon him, wanting to cut out the cancerous growth and let it die.

But no. Like the young boy in the hospital, injected with chemicals that his body might struggle to fight a losing battle, you have nothing but pity for the situation that Michael Roa Valdamjong has found himself in. Your hatred is completely separate from the man - it is not the man stretched upon the scales that you so detest, but the serpent itself. Just looking at it gives you an itch, and itch that you desperately need to scratch. An itch that takes every ounce of your self control to fight off, to refrain from losing yourself in that haze of bloodlost.

You don't -want- to give in.

But you know now. You were born to kill this man.

A knife finds itself in your hands, weighing down your palm, begging, pleading, singing that happy tune that rang in your head like silver chimes. It demands that you strike, lash out, cut the Serpent of Akasha into a thousand tiny pieces until at last the cancer has been excised from Gaia. All else you do with your life is but gravy, but a net gain for the World should She have reason to call upon you.

You lift the knife...

>Field too long.

>>27710012

=====

You wake up panting, a chuckling old voice in the back of your heads reminding you to never tickle a sleeping dragon. Cryptic words, all but nonsense, you feel like that may well have been sound advice, for whatever reason. Half asleep, you notice that your hand has found itself wrapped around your spear, and turning to your right, you see that it is 6 AM, an hour and a half before the Great Hall will have breakfast ready.

You...
>Decide to get some excercise. Gotta keep in shape.
>Take a long and proper bath, an excuse to stick around so you can apologize for being snippy last night.
>Contemplate your dream... why does the name Valdamjong seem so familiar?
>[WRITE IN]

>>27710032
>>Contemplate your dream... why does the name Valdamjong seem so familiar?
We've gone into some conceptual shenanigans again. We need to think it over while it's still fresh in the mind.

>>27710032
>Take a long and proper bath, an excuse to stick around so you can apologize for being snippy last night.

They haven't done anything to deserve our spite.

>>27710032
>>Decide to get some excercise. Gotta keep in shape.
if we encounter Illya, a light spar. in grappling. in a private place.


it isnt cuddling if you are sparring dammit

>>27710032
>Contemplate your dream... why does the name Valdamjong seem so familiar?

>>27710032
Why not all three?!?!?!?!

>>27710098
Because if we try that we'll end up late for breakfast and get none of them done. Those are all separate endeavors that will require the extra time we have.

>>27710032
>Write that dream down and all it's details so we don't forget it.

>>27710125
Well, we might be able to contemplate the dream while doing one of the other two, but certainly not all three.

>>27710032
Contemplate dream while going for a jog.

Combining 1 and 3.

>>27710225
this

>>27710225
yup

>>27710032

I opt for >>27710145 (rumination can come later), but really all three could conceptually make sense for us


>Decide to get some excercise. Gotta keep in shape.
>Take a long and proper bath, an excuse to stick around so you can apologize for being
snippy last night.
>Contemplate your dream... why does the name Valdamjong seem so familiar?

>>27710032
>You find that your hand has found itself wrapped around your spear.
L-lewd

>>27710032

>>27710442
We should name our spear Muatra.

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>>27710485

>>27710032
>long bath
Got to prevent those rumours before they get out of hand and make life a pain.
>Contemplate dream

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You roll out of bed, deciding that since you're already awake you might as well get your day started. Half of you wants to skip out on your morning exercises today, given the freaky dream and the fact there is a rather unpleasant pressure cutting into your scar, but the other half of you points out that if you stop the routine now, you'll never continue it. That half wins out, and before you know it you've changed into your rather plain workout clothes - black with more black, with black shoes and (shockingly) black socks.

One of the advantages of the Hufflepuff dorms being on the first floor rather than say, a tower, or a dungeon, or a freakin' secret corner of the library, is that it's common area has an actual door to the outside. A door that you'd be hard pressed to find on the outside, to be fair, but there it is, plain as day, right next to the fireplace. It's welcoming to have a breath of fresh air or three - really clears your head, and by the time you've made your first lap around the castle, the pressure has dissipated enough that you can actually get some thinking done.

Namely, what in the name of Christ, Yahweh, and all the minor deities whom walked the Earth was that dream?

You caught a name: Michael Roa Valdamjong. Apparently the dude is some sort of meta snake that lives in the Root of the World? Maybe? And something about that book that Mrs. Irisviel got you for Christmas last year... Hyperion... right, he was like one of the Bikura. Which implies that he's got regenerative immortality for the price of become one giant lump of mentally deficient cancer. Or something close enough to that.

Of course, this implies that this was all real, and not just some sort of metaphor rising from your guilty conscience. Mr. Kiritsugu prefers that you work on a "it's prophetic until proven otherwise" mindset when dealing with dreams though, sor you suppose this Michael guy really exists.

Well, at least he's in France.

...

Well, you hope he's in France.

>....

>>27710693

Three more laps around the castle and you head back inside through the secret entrance, slipping into the showers and changing into your school robes. As you leave the bathroom, your roommates enter, and you give them a hasty apology for being a dick before you head down to the Great Hall. Mami, Tonks, Edward and Cedric are sitting at the Hufflepuff table, chatting away about teenager things no doubt. Ron, Neville, and Draco are sitting with the Slytherins this morning, Draco's minions hovering menacingly a few seats over.

There are a few other half remembered faces scattered throughout, though it seems that the houses do tend to intermingle. You suppose that the school only really enforces the seating arrangements when some sort of ceremony is going on. Probably too many old friendships between different houses for them to actually break things up every day of the year.

Illya, unfortunately, is nowhere to be found. Probably still sleeping - you know that she was never a morning person.

You...
>Sit with the Hufflepuff Seniors.
>Sit with Ron, Neville, and Draco.
>Go make some new friends - maybe find that Anne girl?
>[WRITE IN]

>>27710709
>>Sit with Ron, Neville, and Draco.
they are all sitting together... ok do this

>Enough excitement to last a month.
Hah.

>Hyperion reference
Nice.

>>27710709
>Sit with Ron, Neville, and Draco.

Let's see how they're turning out.

>>27710709
>Sit with Ron, Neville, and Draco. Keep Gil from eating Ron's rat.
>Whip out clam phone and wake Illa's shit up, we need our waifu.

>>27710709
>Sit with Ron, Neville, and Draco.

>>27710709
>>Sit with Ron, Neville, and Draco.
wut?

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"You're daft, Weasley," Draco declares as you get closer to the other first years.

"No I'm not!" Ron replies. "I've got a good feeling this year, I swear. The Cannons are going to -sweep-, I just know it. They'll finally get out of their..." He turns to Neville. "How many decades was it now?"

"Fifteen," the boy declares, picking up the paper. "Fifteen decades and three years without a single victory to their name, over a team line up that has gone through nearly forty generations of players and nearly six generations of Wizards. They had exactly one good season - which I will admit was the only perfect season ever played - before becoming the single worst team in the history of the game."

"Yeah, yeah," Ron says through a mouthful of bacon. "The point is, the Cannons are going to beat the spread this year, I just know it."

"Weasley," Draco points at him with a butterknife half smeared with marmalade, "The spread had them never scoring a single point and never winning a single match. All they have to do is get the quaffle in -once- thoughout the season, and they'll beat the spread."

Well, here's a spot as smooth as any to slip in to the conversation; you take a seat next to Draco, and Ron half absently passes you a pitcher of pumpkin juice. Not exactly what you're used to drinking for breakfast, but it's surprisingly sweet. You aren't sure what you'll actually eat yet, as you're still used to cooking for yourself, and don't quite trust the staff to get it right...

"So," you ask, taking in the various platters of eggs, bacon, sausages, fruit, and all manner of breakfast pastries. "What are the odds that the Cannons actually score that goal?"

>Field too long.

>>27710709
Sneak over to Illya's dorm and wake her up, she missed the morning jog, her dad gonna be mad

>>27711506

Neville doesn't even look over the paper. "Current odds have it at fourteen thousand seven hundred and thirty three to one that the Cannons score any points whatsoever this year." He half mindedly scoops up some oatmeal. "Twenty seven million four hundred and seventy six thousand three hundred and twenty two to one that they win a game."

"That's not the worst of it," Ron groans, "They're not even taking bets one whether the Cannons'll make it to the Cup."

You...
>Ask them if the Cannons made a deal with the devil or something.
>Ask Neville what the paper has to say.
>Call Illya on the mirror and get her lazy butt out of bed.
>[WRITE IN]

>>27711521
>Call Illya on the mirror and get her lazy butt out of bed.
And remember not to think about what Ms. Einzbern said to do to butts, especially those of cute girls

>>27711521
this
>>Ask them if the Cannons made a deal with the devil or something.
then
>Call Illya on the mirror and get her lazy butt out of bed.

>>27711521
>Ask them if the Cannons made a deal with the devil or something.
>Call Illya on the mirror and get her lazy butt out of bed.

>>27711521
>Ask them if the Cannons made a deal with the devil or something.

>>27711521
>Call Illya on the mirror and get her lazy butt out of bed.

Jeez, one day away from her dad and she's already slacking.

So are wizard devils a thing, or?...

>>27711521
>fourteen thousand seven hundred and thirty three to one
>Twenty seven million four hundred and seventy six thousand three hundred and twenty two to one
"Guys.
Guys.
Listen.
That means that if we just bet one dragon and they score a single point, we get back almost fifteen thousand dragons. I mean, it's like the lottery. The entree fee is cheap and if you win you win big!"

>>27711689
First i think we should find out why exactly those are the odds. cause dam is that fucking terrible

>>27711689
>Harry Potter and the Crippling Gambling Addiction

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>>27707825
>whatever badgers are
Mustelids. Other Mustelids include Ferrets, Otters, Wolverines, Stoats, Grisons, Polecats, Martens, and Weasels.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mustelidae
>>27708244
We're gonna have to teach Ernie how to be a man, aren't we? Well, at least I like melons.
>>27709618
Ciel teaching at Beauxbatons? I can fap to this.
>>27711521
>Ask them if the Cannons made a deal with the devil or something.
>>27711689
Sounds good to me, but I play the ponies once a month and have Faye Valentine tier luck at them. Thank whatever gods were, are, and may yet be, that I limit myself to twenty bucks.

>>27711689
I'd bet one knut, it's really not worth betting any more at those odds. You'd still get almost 30 galleons for almost nothing on the slim chance they score.
55k galleons if they, somehow, win.

>>27711850
Aww, come on. We're rich already. Might as well bet a whole galleon.

>>27711850
We're filthy rich, Nubum. A Galleon really isn't that much for us.
Hell, we could advance Ron a Galleon to make a bet with, and if he wins he gets to keep all the money. The only catch is that he owes us a favor in the future.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWqKPWO5T4o

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"So they had one perfect season, then all of the sudden they're luck runs out and they never win another game?" You ask. "What, did their coach make a deal with the devil or something like that? Sounds like a few muggle sports legends I've heard..."

"I only wish..." Ron grumbled. "The Department of Mysteries and the Department of Souls and Daemonology have people trained for exorcisms."

Neville nods, not looking up from the paper.

"Yeah," Draco said. "They checked for tampering after every match that first season, when they were winning like crazy. Wizards are good at that sort of thing, you know, it was one of the concessions made to the Vatican to have them get the Protestants off our backs during the Witch Hunts." He rolls his eyes. "Had to make -sure- there wasn't any devilry going on. You know, so just in case everyone born a wizard was allied with Satan."

"Yeah, no Demons involved," Neville says. "I'd know. My grandfather was one of the folks they called in just to make sure, back in the day."

"Huh..." you say, not really sure where to go with this. You reach into your pocket for your mirror. "So, why are they so horrible, then? You'd think the players would just drop out of the league, or something."

"No one knows," Ron. "Hell, some of their trades have gone on to the hall of fame. But the point is, the league's too afraid to shut the team down, because they think whatever's cursing the Cannons might bounce to someone else."

You nod absentmindly, before flipping the mirror open.

"Hey Illya," you say into the blank image. "Get your lazy butt out of bed, if you don't get Breakfast now, you're gonna be la-"

Suddenly, a pair of all too familiar hands is covering your eyes, and you hear a playful voice purr.

"Guess who?"

>Not now Hermione, I'm trying to wake Illya up.
>Oh, there you are Illya. Why weren't you awake this morning.
>WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU COVERING MY EYES?
>[WRITE IN]

>>27711886
>>27711946
I keep forgetting this fact for some reason. Might as well then.

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>>27711961
>Not now Hermione, I'm trying to wake Illya up.

>>27711961
>[WRITE IN]
Grab and throw, just like Kerry taught us

>>27711961
What the fuck, Dumbledore? This is not okay.

Rolled 38

>>27711961
>>Oh, there you are Illya. Why weren't you awake this morning.
>>WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU COVERING MY EYES?

>>27711961
"D-dumble-san don't be so l-lewd."

>>27712048
I cracked up laughing, damn you.

Rolled 95

>>27712017
this or
>>27712042

which ever one you can make funnier

>>27711961
>WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU COVERING MY EYES?

>>27711961
>Not now Hermione, I'm trying to wake Illya up.

>>27711961
>WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU COVERING MY EYES?

Exaggerated panic reaction!

>>27711961
>Not now Hermione, I'm trying to wake Illya up.

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Without thinking, you execute a quick three step maneuver on the person behind you. A quick sweep of their legs leaving them off balance, pull them in to a swift grapple so they can't back off before you throw them over your shoulder and onto the table. Really, the fact that you can do this sort of thing at the age of eleven is only overshadowed by the fact that you did so without standing up from your chair. Mr. Kiritsugu would be proud of how well you were able to adapt your techniques to the whole "sitting down harmlessly eating" thing.

Or, well, he would be if you didn't go and practice them on his daughter. That tends to be something he gets more than a little ticked off about.

You only notice that it was, in fact, Illya standing behind you -after- you finished manhandling her like she was some schoolyard bully what needed to be taught a lesson. Splayed out on the table, she's clearly playing it up, playful tears in her eyes as she bites back giggles and bemoans the soiling of her blouse. Thankfully, she missed the pitcher of pumpkin juice and the plate of sausages, so you don't have to worry about too much innuendo spewing forth from her mind.

The pancakes are ruined, though - but thankfully, she missed the bacon platter. You've settled on breakfast, and content yourself with playfully dismissing her as she chews you out over the whole "flipping her onto the table" thing.

"Har~ry..." You know this tone of voice all too well. It is the growl of the wild 'frustrated homunculus', as she waits for an opening in her prey. "You flipped me onto the table."

"You snuck up on me," you say. "That is always a mistake."

It's a game that the two of you play, that Draco seems to catch on to quickly, but leaves Ron looking between the two of you more than a bit confused. Neville remains engrossed in whatever headline he had been reading before - you think you see something about the Auror's catching an escaped "Death Eater." Weren't those -that man's- followers?

>Field

>>27712856

"And now I've got pancake cake all over me..." Illya moans, before taking on one of -those- wildly innappropriate grins of hers. "You mind helping clean me up?"

"You've got a wand," you point out. "And Alchemy, if you need it. I'm fairly sure you don't need help."

"But there's syrup~"

"And we're not even twelve," you deadpan. "Later. Not today."

"Awww..." she complains. But it just takes a clap, and she deconstructs all of the foodstuffs that had gotten onto her into base matter.

You...
>Ask Illya why her grandfather is the new potions teacher.
>Ask Neville who the aurors managed to catch.
>Ask Draco what he's staring at, and why he can't seem to look away.
>[WRITE IN]

>>27712878
>Ask Draco what he's staring at, and why he can't seem to look away.

>>27712878
>>Ask Draco what he's staring at, and why he can't seem to look away.

we shall save inquireing about oldman atch for another time, illya probably doesnt know anyway

>>27712878
>Ask Neville who the aurors managed to catch.

>>27712878
>[WRITE IN]
Conjure a completely mundane hat.
Place the hat over a goblet of pumpkin juice.
Bet Draco a sickle that we can drink the juice without touching the hat, and without using any magic.
Stick our head under the table and make "glug-glug" sounds.
Tell Draco to pick up the hat and check on the status of the juice.
When he lifts the hat, grab the pumpkin juice and drink it.

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>>27712968

>>27712878
>Ask Illya why her grandfather is the new potions teacher.

Cuddle, cause we can.

>>27713003
Its a clever trick.

Basically, he lifts the hat for us, allowing us to drink the juice without touching the hat.

We never said that we'd drink the juice from under the hat. Only that we'd be able to drink it without touching it.

>>27713057
I understand that part. I don't understand why we'd do that though.

So what is Draco looking at?

>>27713077
The aforementioned crippling gambling addiction, maybe? I don't know either.

>>27712878
>>[WRITE IN]
Eat!

>Ask Illya why her grandfather is the new potions teacher.

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>>27713077
Because it demonstrates to all present that "throw magic at it" isn't always the best solution while simultaneously letting us make like Harry The Hat.
Admittedly it'd be more fun to sucker a Ravenclaw with it. So much for "wit beyond measure", you fell for a very simple short con.

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"Draco, all you alright mate?" Ron asks, the first to notice that something over by the professor's table has caught his eyes like a train wreck. He's clearly trying not to stare at whatever it is, but he can't bring himself to look away.

"Hu, wha?" The platinum blond jumps at being addressed, before shaking himself out. "Yeah, no, I'm fine."

"You sure," Ron asks, as Draco goes back to staring, "You sort of zoned out there... and there you go again. Merlin's beard, mate, I haven't seen you this spacey since that one party when the twins pranked Charlie's old girlfriend with a waterbomb, and we all got a good eyeful of her..." He looks at Illya, suddenly embarassed. "Well, ah, learned a very important lesson on anatomy, I mean. Ahem."

"Seriously," you say, "Draco, what's up."

He just points at the staff table, and you wonder for a moment why you didn't bother looking there yourself. Would be sort of the obvious thing to do, given how enraptured the other boy was, but you suppose that on some subconscious level you didn't want to find yourself trapped staring like Narcisus at whatever it was you saw. Tentatively, you trace the path of his finger to find.

"Oh," you say, "It's Mrs. Irisviel. I'm not quite sure what's with that getup, but that's just Illya's mom, nothing more."

"Then why are there, like, seven of them?" Draco asks.

You double take, looking back to the staff table. Old Man Acht - or, uh, Young Man Acht, as he looks these days - is sitting quite smuggly at the center of the table, being fed his breakfast by Mrs. Irisviel, who's apparently decided to start dressing and acting like a maid. A few more Mrs. Irisviels seem to be patrolling the table with pitchers of pumpkin juice, pouring drinks for all of the staff members. Another Mrs. Irisviel seems to be shadowing at the door, trying and failing to hide what appears to be a sword twice her size.

You are, admittedly, somewhat confused.

>>27713487

>Illya, was you mother an octuplet or something?
>Well, I can certainly understand why you were staring, Draco.
>Oh God there are MORE of her!
>[WRITE IN]

>>27713513
>>Oh God there are MORE of her!

>>27713513
>Oh God there are MORE of her!

>>27713513
>>Oh God there are MORE of her!

I DON'T WANT ANYMORE CHINESE CARTOONS!!!

>>27713513
>Oh God there are MORE of her!

>>27713513
>>Oh God there are MORE of her!

>>27713513
>[WRITE IN]
"Yes, and? Its like you've never seen an army of identical magic homunculus maids before."

>>27713487
>>Oh thank God there are MORE of her!

>>27713513
>Oh God there are MORE of her!

>>27713513
>Oh God there are MORE of her!
>[WRITE IN]
Listen, we need to get out of the school, maybe out of the country. Is there a wizarding school in America? We need to flee!

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>>27713513
>Oh God there are MORE of her!

>They're all going to approach us and say "ara ara" in perfect unison at some point

Hogwarts has fallen. Nowhere is safe.

>>27713644
>A legion of homunculus maids all saying ara ara in perfect time
...
I'll be in my bunk.

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>>27713644
I prefer the .gif version.

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>>27713644
I...I'm not sure if I could run away if they did that.

I'd be in a trance, paralyzed, stunned by the motherliness, All the blood would fill my lower head.

>>27713717
I always forget Type-Moon makes what is essentially plot-heavy porn.

>>27713734
Plot heavy BAD porn. The Plot is great, but the pornography is awful. Too many mollusks.

I'm glad he did away with it for Witch on the Holy Night. Ms. Blue deserves to remain a pure maiden.

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>>27713734
How did you forget that?

Though >>27713767
is right, most of the porn is rather awful.

>>27713767
>>27713781

The porn artwork isn't much more terrible than the rest of the artwork, and the prose is bad enough to be funny.

>>27713767
>>27713781
>>27713848
This is, largely, because Nasu doesn't really WANT to do porn. The porn's just there to help sales.

>>27713848
Either way, they're trying to move away from it now. They seem to have come into the idea that they could become a respectable company if they don't write porn anymore.

>>27713879
If I remember correctly, it's pretty normal for most serious jap artist to make porn at some point during their career. Shouldn't be too hard for them.

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>>27713879
Wait, WAIT!

You can do that? Write a VN without porn in it?!

WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TOO?!?!

>>27713914
I wouldn't say "normal," but it isn't uncommon. CLAMP, Kouta Hirano, and Maybe come to mind.

>>27713879
Established audience means they don't have to worry about needing porn to sell.
>>27713934
Yeah. That's a thing. A wonderful thing, since the medium really could use a boost in respectability.
>>27713935
Hirano draws porn because he enjoys it. He STILL draws porn even though he's got two successful mainstream works now.
Masamune Shirow, too. He's back to drawing nothing BUT porn, instead of fucking FINISHING APPLESEED YOU LAZY FUCKING HACK! Sorry. I just really want a conclusion to my favorite manga.

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Oh God.

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God.

Wasn't yesterday enough excitement? Could not the strings of fate have left you with the scantest of reprieves, that you might have time to recover from all that happened these last twenty four hours before such a bomb was dropped upon you. One Mrs. Irisviel and her... habits... tendencies... appetites... oh Lord one of her was bad enough. You cross yourself, as though warding away the foul beasts that would be repelled by such concepts.

A Castle full is far too many to sleep easy. Not when they're around and able to further drive Illya into the depths of her mother's depravity. The images seared from those -Japanese Comics- that Mrs. Irisviel keeps flash through your mind and sear a mark upon your brow, a the beginnings of an unending migraine as you prepare yourself to deal with all of the -shenanigans-.

"Though I walk through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil," you incant. "For the Lord is my shepherd..."

"Harry, that's completely innappropriate," Neville says, dropping his paper and giving you a scolding look. "The purpose of those chants is to provide a hypnotic focus for Vatican aligned demon hunters like me mum and pop. Not... whatever you're using it for."

"You don't understand..." You want to reach out and grab Neville, shake him by the collar, but you're not feeling -that- melodramatic just yet. "They... they... they're -more- of Mrs. Irisviel. One of her is bad enough!"

Illya hits you on the head.

"Harry, that's rude!" she scolds you. "Just because you don't have a -refined palate- like mother and I doesn't mean you should go saying that we're -bad-."

On the one hand, Illya actually seems a bit mad at you.

On the other, you do sort of want to get out of here before it turns into a wildly innappropriate madhouse.

>Field too long.

>>27714045
You...
>Inform everyone that you all need to leave the country, before the infection spreads.
>Inform everyone that Hogwarts is lost, and that there is no hope.
>Run, run away, and blot out the thought that Illya will look like her some day.
>Placate Illya and calm down. There must be a rational explanation.
>[WRITE IN]

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>>27713767
You are truly a better man than I. For if it were up to me, I would not allow her to remain pure for long.

Dat rack man.

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>>27713975
I kid anon, I enjoy the ones without porn too.

Especially when I want to cry.

Damn Clannad and Key for all those feels...

>>27714065
>[X]Placate Illya and calm down. There must be a rational explanation.
remember we are wizards, we don't need to get shit.

>>27714065
>Placate Illya and calm down. There must be a rational explanation.

Calm down Harry... calm down.

If you panic you'll just trigger their Ara Ara hunting instincts.

>>27714065
>>Placate Illya and calm down. There must be a rational explanation.

>>27714065
>>Placate Illya and calm down. There must be a rational explanation.

Remember that Mrs. Irisviel is a special homunculus.

>>27714045
>>Placate Illya and calm down. There must be a rational explanation.
Demand an explanation from Illya, then from her grandfather and from the clones, then call the real Irisvieland Kiritsugu for even more explanations. And then just pray for a divine vision for more answers.

>>27714065
>Placate Illya and calm down. There must be a rational explanation.
THEY CAN SMELL YOUR FEAR

>>27714100
You make panicking sound appealing anon...

>>27714045
>dropping his paper and giving you a scolding look.
I don't know why this made me laugh so hard.
Maybe it's because it reminded me of my grandpa.

>>27714065
>Inform everyone that you all need to leave the country, before the infection spreads.
>Inform everyone that Hogwarts is lost, and that there is no hope.
>Run, run away, and blot out the thought that Illya will look like her some day.
Now is a perfect bloody time to bloody well panic you bloody wankers!

>>27714065
>Placate Illya and calm down. There must be a rational explanation.

>>27714086
Steins;Gate remains my all-time favorite VN.
Mainly because of the 2chan portions.

>>27713734
>>27713767
>>27713781
>>27713848
>>27713862
>>27714187
>>27714086


is there like a list of these...

>>27714187
I need to stop following quests and actually play it.

>>27714214
http://vndb.org/

>>27714214
A list of what? VN's?

That's vndb.org.

If you want more specific look up the companies.

>>27714214
Good VNs? Lemme write up a quick list...

>Deus Machina Demonbane
>The Devil on G String
>Chaos;Head
>Steins;Gate
>Daibanchou -Big Bang Age-
>Dengeki Stryker
>Ever17: The Out of Infinity
>Higurashi
>Umineko
>Muv Luv Extra/Unlimited/Alternative
>Never7: The End of Infinity
>Sengoku Rance
>Utawarerumono
>Yume Miru Kusuri – A Drug That Makes You Dream
>Remember11: The Age of Infinity
>Tsukihime
>Kagetsu Tohya
>Melty Blood
>Fate/Stay Night
>Fate/Extra

>>27714427
>The Devil on G String
Muh nigga.

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>>27714214
>>27714427
Here, take this as you go!

>>27714427
>>27714453
My brothers of African descent!

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"Okay," You stammer out, fear and melodrama weighing down your breath. "Okay, fine, I... I won't freak out, because I don't need to freak out..."

"Harry, why are you freaking out, mate?" Ron asks, having joined Draco in staring at the freaky Mrs. Irisviel Maid Clone Things like a pair of refined gentlement enjoying a fine wine. "They're hot. And if they really do look so much like Illya's mother, then you are going to have to fend off a -lot- of competition when you get older, man."

"Yeah~!" Illya chirps, leaning into you. "Aren't you so lucky, Harry~!"

"Yes," you deadpan, totally not terrified of Illya growing up to be her mother. "Yes. I'm that luckmaster in the gamblehouse who successfully scored the jackpot in the token spinny machines. Now, would you terribly mind giving me a bit of personal space while I try to reconcile with the fact that someone thought it would be a good idea to clone your mother and make a maid army from her. Because now isn't the time for cuddling."

"They're not clones of Mom," Illya protests. But thankfully, she gives you a bit of space. "They're just Justicia patterned homunculi that Grandpa makes to help around his estate. Not like Mom - mom was special. Grandpa spent eighteen years before he decanted her, letting her grow at a natural pace and cultivating a proper soul in her."

"Wait," Draco says. "You're saying that these women don't have souls."

Illya waves at him dismissively, as if to brush away preconceptions.

"Don't think of them as women," Illya says. "They're just ordinary homunculi. They only even have girly parts because grandpa is a pervert. At least, that's what dad says. Mom, she's was made as an -artificial human-, which is made similar to a homuculus except how they have a soul, and thus an identity. These... well, they have personalities, but they lack the core concepts that are the building blocks of a proper soul."

>Field too long.

>>27714453
>>27714427
>The Devil on G String

That sounds lewd

>>27714480
Narcissu was amazing. Too many tears so I haven't played 2 yet

>>27714505
>What? They don't have souls? Illya, now you're being mean.
>I'm sorry, could you explain that in the Queen's, please?
>Wait, Old Man Acht has the skill to put a soul in something?
>[WRITE IN]

>>27714516
There's actually no lewdness until pretty late in the game.

>>27714516
G as in the musical note.

The main character loves the shit out of classical music, and the entire soundtrack is comprised of classical music remixes.

>>27714529
>Wait, Old Man Acht has the skill to put a soul in something?

>>27714427
>MuvLuv
>Good
Hah
You're a funny man.

>>27714529
>Wait, Old Man Acht has the skill to put a soul in something?

>>27714534
Unless you take the other girls routes. Then you can get lewd nearly any time.

>>27714529
>>I'm sorry, could you explain that in the Queen's, please?

>>27714546
In case the presence of Demonbane and Dengeki Stryker on that list didn't tip you off, I'm a /m/an.

Also it was pretty good, if overrated.

>>27714560
>2013
>Settling for anything less than female Sherlock Holmes

>>27714529
>>Wait, Old Man Acht has the skill to put a soul in something?
freakout time is over now, impressed time is beginning

>>27714560
>Implying I'd go for anyone but best girl.

>>27714427
>>Sengoku Rance

>VN

>SENGOKU FUCKIGN RANCE

>VN

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

NO

ITS A STRATEGY GAME WITH VN CUTSCENES

OH GOD TAKEDA, WHY CANT I BEAT YOU

>>27714529
>I'm sorry, could you explain that in Queen, please?
"So you're saying your granddad has a thing for fat bottomed girls?"

>>27714595
So's Underwater Ray Romano.
And Melty Blood is a Nasuverse fightan' game that has VN elements.

>>27714582
I am too.
It's SEED-tier shit, but for entirely different reasons.

>>27714582
>>27714589
I said could. I sadly played it early in my career and didn't wait for best girl and best ending.

>>27714599
>Harry and Illya eventually just start communicating via singing Queen songs at each other
>Meanwhile, Neville, Draco and Ron are utterly confused

>>27714529
>>Wait, Old Man Acht has the skill to put a soul in something?

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>>27714595
Its a VN with gameplay, close enough.

>OH GOD TAKEDA, WHY CANT I BEAT YOU

Because I'm betting you're not using the Best Combo of Best Girl and Uruza to instawin everything forever.

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>>27714621
Dude, no. I can understand why people dislike Muv-Luv but thats just going too far.

Nothing is as bad as SEED is.

Fucking.

Nothing.

/vn/ pls stay

>>27714623
>best girl
Yes.
>and best ending
VERY yes.

>>27714529
>Wait, Old Man Acht has the skill to put a soul in something?
Seriously, this is impressive. (Or at least it should be if we paid close enough attention during all of our Nasuverse magic lessons.)

>[WRITE IN]
Make a special point of figuring out a difference between the lines of a person-shaped Homunculus and that of a "real", ensouled person (whether naturally born or created.)

Academically interesting, as well as potentially useful if Snape's going to continue being a creepy fucker.

>>27714733
>potentially useful if Snape's going to continue being a KUURU fucker.
ftfy

>>27714664
At least SEED has good art
And okay mech designs, I suppose.

>>27714664
It's a bit tl'dr but I think if the show is aimed at teens the microwaving complaint is a bit excessive.

>>27714733
I cried. I was in fucking public and I cried because that's all I fucking want in life.

>>27714849
>Playing VNs in public

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>>27714757
>Scene recycling
>Stock footage out the ass
>Beamspam as a substitute for actual animation
>Hiraiface
>Good art

>>27714849
To miss your daughter growing up because you were in prison?

>>27714872
I realized that after I posted that.
what I meant was "better" art. It is by no means good.
Not to mention TSFs manage to have the exact same problem as SEED's character design, and I care a lot less about the characters than I do the mechs.

>>27714871
Have to play it somewhere and can't always go back to my room.

>>27714895
Well, I'd prefer to miss that part. But if the choice was that or nothing, I'd take it.

>>27714910
Engine/budget limitations.

Alternative still had better fight scenes than SEED, even if there was a minimum of actual animation.

>>27714895
Damn it, Anon. Don't remind me of these feels!

>>27714923
>Engine/budget limitations.
Really.
BattleTecch is making better looking mechs, though, and they are surviving on an RPG budget.

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>>27715006
Oh wait, you mean the actual mech designs?

Thats simply opinion. I like them.

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"Hold on a second," you say, "Old Man Acht has the skill to put a soul in something? Isn't that part of the whole heaven's feel bullshittery and a miracle that can't be done with usual magic?"

Illya raises a finger for a moment, as if to start off on a long and winding explanation of the subtleties of soul based magic and the intricacies of the Third. But midway through her first syllable she sputters out, a look of deep thought and uncertainty replacing her confidence. The finger moves to her chin, and she begins to rub it halphazardly, her tongue cutely springing from the corner of her mouth. Pensive and thoughtful, she starts again a bit slower.

"Well..." she says. "I know mom's soul is the same one as Granny Justeaze... or, was it modeled off of granny Justeaze's and made from whole cloth usin an incomplete variant of the..." She hums for a moment. "But yeah, Grandpa has been able to move his soul around for a -while-, even if he never had a complete understanding of the Third until dad... Cause gramps has an older body that he wears for formal occasions..."

"Sorry," Neville interrupts, "But what is this 'Third' business? Is it capitalized? It sounds capitalized."

"Maybe it's something to do with Alchemy," Ron points out. "Not sure what Alchemy's got to do with souls - dad might know though - but isn't this old guy some big shot alchemist?"

"Well?" Neville looks to you and Illya.

The two of you look at each other. Perhaps it would have been wiser to wait to talk about this until you were alone, and not at risk of informing your classmates about the whole Magi thing. Not that your were really trying to keep it a secret, but more that since Wizards and Magi don't have much contact, it's probably for a good reason. Neville looks at you expectntly, but fortunately Draco and Ron seem too engrossed in the homunculi's cleavage to care one way or another.

"Well..." you start.

>Field too long.

>>27715090

Thankfully, you are interrupted by a very indignant shout.

"-Jubstacheit von Einzbern-!" The voice is old, belonging to a lady, and so Scottish that you'd swear that you'd swear you're watching Braveheart. "What is the meaning of this... this... -blatant objectification of your serving staff-?"

You...
>Stay to watch the fireworks.
>Slip out of this unwanted situation with Illya, and head to class.
>Start actually eating your breakfast, because you kind of haven't been doing that.
>Toast in mouth, then run. Don't want to be late for school!
>[WRITE IN]

>>27715108
>Start actually eating your breakfast, because you kind of haven't been doing that.
Cool kids walk when they're late for class.

>>27715108
>Stay to watch the fireworks.

>>27715108
>Start actually eating your breakfast, because you kind of haven't been doing that.
>Stay to watch the fireworks.
This is a great chance to both eat and get a handle on our future grandpa.

>>27715108
We've got to see this.

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>>27715050
I think they are okay, the huge thighs and tiny waist is kinda ugly if you ask me. But goddamn they suffer from horrible sameface.

Believe me, I understand how unified aesthetics can really bring a setting together. But you can vary it a little more than that.

>>27715108
>>Start actually eating your breakfast, because you kind of haven't been doing that.

>>27715108
>>Start actually eating your breakfast, because you kind of haven't been doing that.
>Stay to watch the fireworks.

this is gonna be good.

we are gonna be late for snappes class and it is gonna be glorious!

>>27715108
>Start actually eating your breakfast, because you kind of haven't been doing that.
>Stay to watch the fireworks.
Oh this will be DELICIOUS.

>>27715108
>>Start actually eating your breakfast, because you kind of haven't been doing that.


hay that's important

>>27715154
>and it is gonna be glorious!
Especially when we can actually ANSWER the questions he tries to trap us with, assuming he uses the same ones book Snape used.

>>27714595
Takeda's actually not that hard, especially if you're doing a second run with Operation Permits, then it becomes easy as hell.

Unlocking the Takeda new game bonus is hard as hell though, you have to stop the takeda blitz. (Defeat 4-5 Takeda attacks in *one* turn without losing a single fight.) Then when you take over the provience via special action, you have to track down each member and capture them. I spent 100+ turns after I defeated the blitz just waiting for them all to show up.

When you DO unlock them though, you start with the Fuurinkazan, AKA the best Tatician, and Ninja in the game, as well as two powerful cavalry units, which are hard as hell to recruit normally. For a mere 40 points, they're awesome as hell.

Not quite as good as Dokuganryuu and that broken as hell Omachi, but if you take both of them together, you've got a fighting force to be reckoned with.

>>27715184
oh gosh, we are gonna school snape on all his shit. imagine Illya in that class just fuckin his shit up left and right

>>27714664
>Nothing is as bad as SEED is.
SEED Destiny.
Check and mate motherfucker.

>>27715108
>>[WRITE IN]
Silently thank Mary, Queen of Scots or whoever for saving us from having to give an expository monologue.

Giggle inwardly at the fact that since apparently they don't have souls, it's technically correct in the literal sense for him to be objectifying them.

Eat some breakfast.

>>27715204
I concede defeat.

>>27715184
>>27715202
IIRC, Acht is teaching potions while Snape has been shifted to DADA.

>>27715202
>>27715154
>>27715184

You guys do remember that Snape is the defense teacher, right? You know, because Harry offed Quirrel on the train and Dumbledore called in Acht to teach potions?

>>27715229
>>27715224
oh yeah, brainfart.

on that note imagine all the little wizards learning actual alchemy. or better yet, how to create their own homunclui

>>27715108

Hey, breakfast AND a show! Don't get that often! Well, I suppose you could if you sat down with a bowel of cereal in front of a tv...but this way's more...educating, plus you'll probably be eating something better than cereal to boot. Unless Kiritsugu made it a point to actually have us eat healthier stuff than what the Durcelys had.

>Stay to watch the fire works.
>Start to actually eat your breakfast, because you kind of haven't been doing that.

You know, I actually like this universe version of Draco.

>>27715229
>Gundam General
Mostly TSFs and BattleMechs, anon.
You need to learn your giant robots.

>>27715265
>a bowel of cereal
I think that would imply digestion problems.

>>27715275
watch him end up supplying us with info on the death eaters.

>>27715296
why?

>>27715296

...Ah, damn it. I meant bowl, the thing you eat food from. Yeah, I should probably turn in soon.

>>27715314
>Bowel of cereal
>Bowel

>>27715296
>>27715317
Oh, never mind. my mind fixes grammar mistakes.

>>27715224
I wonder how he'll react to us proposing "shoot it" as a solution.

>>27715331
>Opens his mouth to lecture why that's wrong
>Harry makes finger guns and says "Bang"

>>27715346
>unintentional bebop reference induces the feels
yousonoffabitch.

>>27715346
>says "Bang"
That's reserved for if we ever need some badass last words.

>>27715346
Nah, we suggest C4. enough high explosives can solve anyproblem

>>27715388
Even when your mother doesn't love you and you want her too?

>>27715403
That bitch obviously doesnt deserve your love. high explosives.

>>27715403
you use it on your siblings, then she has to love you

>>27715403
>Look Mum! I got you fireworks!

>>27715403
With enough high explosives, you could spell "Mommy why don't you love me :(" in charred cityscape.

>>27715403
Blow her up and you can spend the life insurance on a better one.

>>27715108
>Stay to watch the fireworks.
Finally, somebody else has to deal with Einzbern shenannigans. Let someone else be the Tuskkomi part to their Manzai routines.

>>27715403
No, that takes a giant robot and the blessings of Crom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgCFS9Q_8jE

>>27715432
>Blow her up and you can spend the life insurance on a better one.

why did i laugh so hard

>>27715413
>>27715426
>>27715430
>>27715431
>>27715432
>>27715448

Oh you crazy bastards.

This is why I love /tg/

>>27715456
Quick! somebody throw out the Anime tsundere reaction!

i forgot it

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>>27715488
Stupid Quest Thread. i-it's not like I l-like you or anything. I'm just posting in you because you're so pathetic I couldn't help but take pity on you! B-baka!

since there has been quite a bit of VN talk in her, how does everyone feel about Koihime Musou? downloading it right now and it seems pretty good

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You silently thank - oh, it's the lady from last night, the one who got all the First Years together and ran the Sorting Ceremony. What's her name. You honestly forgot what her name was, actually - if you were ever told, that is - so in your mind you decide to dub her Mary, Queen of Scotts, and send a silent prayer to the Lord above thanking her for her intervention. Without which, you would have to be answering some pretty awkward questions, that may well end up with your Quartet getting confiscated.

"Minerva, yes?" Old Man Acht asks, waving away the maid who had been feeding him his omelet. "I assure you, there is no such objectification going on, as these are not my serving staff."

Thinking fast, and not wanting to get your little details lost in the dialogue, you grab yourself a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon. Loading up well on the bacon, because really, you can never go wrong with more bacon, unless you have heart issues. And then, of course, you start eating it, because Lord only knows that if the dialogue gets going again it might never be clear if you took a single bite.

"So what?" Minerva asks, politely accepting a glass of pumpkin juice from one of the homunculi before shooting it a look that clearly states 'you're not helping, you know'. "Is this your traveling harem of Albino septuplets that you just couldn't leave your big fancy mansion in Bulgaria without then?"

Jubstacheit shakes his head, and stands.

"Minerva, you really shouldn't think of my honuculi as women."

"An' you really should nae dress them up as hussies then!"

"They're not hussies. They're maids."

"Och, maids what confused the neckline with the waistline."

"If you were animating golems, would you not give them an aesthetic that pleases you?"

"Aye, I supposed I would give 'em a figure tha'd make Heracles jealous. But I would nae give them a codpiece to wave in everyone's faces!"

>Field too long.

>>27715665
Absolute tripe, wouldn't wipe my ass with it.
Just kidding, haven't played it.

>>27715719
"And you think a dress designed by one of the -premiere- tailors in the world is equivalent to a codpiece."

"When it's showin' that much skin an' giving a bad example for our bonnie lads and lasses, aye, I think it do."

The two of them glare at each other intensly, and for a moment you wonder whether or not one of them will fire a spell at the other. After a second that stretches for an hour, Jubstacheit sighs, and waves the lady off.

"You know, I made these security arrangements with Dumbledore's approval," he says, with a tone that suggests he would have done it regardless. "I'll have a formal complaint for indecency signed by you, him, and the governors before I send back to my estate for two hundred and thirty seven uniforms altered to your standards."

"Ye have 'ow many of these lasses?"

"They're not lasses, Minerva. They're homunculi. My specialty, as it were."

In the excitement, you seem to have forgotten that the Great Hall is slowly emptying, leaving only a handful of students hastily eating their breakfasts before running off to class. If you're not quick, you'll be late.

You...
>Run to class as quickly as possible.
>Go to class at a more relaxed pace.
>See if anyone on the way there knows a shortcut.
>[WRITE IN]

>>27715738
That depends. Which class are we late for.