I lol'd.

>>27693404
>Not rescuing the dragon from the bitch
Poor form.

>>27693404
I got that the other month. I just told her that I fought a goddamn dragon to get to her, and society demands that she put out.

Then she slapped me. Straight-up slapped me. Hurt like hell; I hadn't taken my helmet off, and she was wearing heavy rings from the dragon's hoard. Rang like crazy.
Anyway, she said the dragon hadn't kidnapped her, and that they'd eloped. He'd tried to buy her hand in marriage from her father the king, but he refused, citing the prior arrangement with the prince from the kingdom next door. Who was twelve. She fell for the handsome stranger, and they eloped after a quick romance.

By the time she finished EXPLAINING all this crap, the dragon had come back, and MAN was he pissed. We fought, again, and he didn't flee. Fought him to a standstill, and the princess stepped between us and told us to 'talk it the fuck out like sensible people'. Ever seen a dragon look shocked? I have.
Anyway, we explained things. Dragon backed up her story, claimed the tower thing was just tradition, and I explained that the king had promised me a lordship for taking her back. And that, as insurance, I'd ALSO taken out a mission to kill her, from the king of the country she was due to marry into, who didn't want his son marrying some trollop.
We compromised. I got a bag full of gold, and the dragon's agreed to protect me from the pissed-off kings who've united in their efforts to find me and kill me.
I stayed in the tower until the besieging armies turned on each other, then fled.
NEVER deal with a fucking dragon, dude. That gold was mostly plated lead.

The dragon has been kidnapped by a dragon! You must fight through the king's army to save it!

>>27693740
After kicking a dragons ass twice he still has the gall to pass off phoney lead.
He's got balls.
But not for long.

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>>27693737
Perhaps I should have.

>Arguing with Princess.
>"I'm a Knight of the Realm! What did you expect me to do?"
>"Just like a man! Thinking that everything revolves around himself and that he needs to do everything himself!"
>I remember I'm supposed to be a Knight, not a whining child.
>"I'm sorry for my unwanted arrival Mam. However, now that I'm here, can I offer you the service of an escort home?"
>"What? No! I like it here!"
>"But you said that you were tormented daily by the dragon? Why would you want to stay with him?"
>"I can change him."

>>27694383

Guh. Thanks for reminding me that this is yet another idea to contend with in the "real world".

>>27694472
and let me guess, you're a nice guy who doesn't get why girls always go for jerks? Hue

>>27694383
Fuck that bitch, go see if the dragon's DTF.

>>27693740
Tell me you skewered him for that.

>not rescuing the dragon
>not going on broventures with the dragon
>not stealing princesses together

>>27693404
>>27694383

Pleb tier kingdom bro. Lemme guess, he's an evil dragon too? Fucking pleb tier king letting their daughter slut around with a dragon with scales that aren't shiny.

My kingdom's got the right idea. Our princess is happily married to a good aligned dragon with golden scales that are shiny as fuck. No complaints from her about being tormented - only rumors from giggling maids about how tenderly Prince Zyalux love sour princess, that. And, of course, the Prince-Consort is a commander in the King's armies, leading the men to victory with his draconic might.

And he's a damned dashing fellow when he takes the form of a human, at that.

Takes a fucking pleb to associate with an evil dragon. Best thing you can do is off the fucking slut before she embarrasses her father's name even further. And then commit sudoku to repent for the shame upon your family's name brought by your (necessary) murder of the king's daughter.

>>27693404
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgT0WhguhaQ

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>>27694700
>commit sudoku
>sudoku

pic related

>>27694700

Bahamut pls go

>>27694749
>that'sthejoke.jpeg

You're a goddamn Knight.

You tell her to shut her damn mouth, slay the dragon, and drag her back to her kingdom. Her concerns about what she does and doesn't want is of no matter-you have a kingdom you have to worry about, not some airheaded child's poorly made judgments.

>>27694749
How new are you?

>>27694795
He's a newfag, and I've been here for an hour!

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>Be a knight
>Get summoned by Duke for grand mission
>Duke was in negotiation of peace agreement with dragons
>But the talks have gone sour
>Turns out visiting royalty stole the dragon's baby child
>King's daughter thought he'd make for a good pet, not realizing that the baby was a thinking creature and not a dumb lizard
>Find myself preparing to storm a castle and save the kidnapped dragon from a princes

>>27694749
You fucking heard me. You have to fucking commit sudoku to amend for the shame of killing your King's daughter.

Now I am unaware what this means in whatever shithole you're from, but here in the Northlands, no one has successfully committed sudoku to date. Once the deed is done, the knight must sally forth from the dragon's lair, and search throughout the land for the fifty and four lost pieces of Sudoku.

Some are said to be hidden in the tombs of ancient kings. Others are said to be guarded jealously by the mightiest of liches, so powerful that he has mastered spells of the fifth order. Some may be found in a shop, dusty antique numerals wrought of finest orichalcum. But within a year, the knight errant must collect all fifty four, lest the spectre of Kings Forgotten descend upon him.

Only one knight - Dame Victoria the Wise - has lived, besting the spectre in the challenge brought forth. And she won upon wit alone, demanding the contest be of wet tunics, which her confidence alone bore her through to triumph. All others have failed before the spectre, their souls devoured to fuel the magic of the throne. None have lived to see the pieces put in place, even Dame Victoria could not solve the riddle before once more the fifty and four scattered across the land.

THIS is what it means to commit Sudoku. Are you up to the challenge, knave?

>>27694775
Tiamat, plz. You don't even know how to Honor.

>>27694845
My god, someone screencap that

>>27694845
>THIS is what it means to commit Sudoku.
I'm totally stealing that.

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>>27694700
God damn it I hate when nobles just give their kids away to any dragon within a five mile radius. I remember the good old days when men could go prove their worth and strike down the oversized reptiles, save the girl, and bring wealth to the kingdom by sharing the hoard. But then one asshole said "Why not cut out the middle man? I'm sure that dragon is reasonable". Now every asshole whose mum fucked a lizard is boasting, "Oh I'm of dragons blood, I'm better then you, your just human", and the title of dragon slayer once shared among the greatest knights of the realm is now held by a bunch of raving shit flinging foreigners covered in snake carcass wielding spears and chain nets.

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>>27693404
Sounds to me like you need to rearrange your priorities.

>>27694845
Respect to ya buddy, you owned that.

>>27693404

Well allright then Milady, have fun getting yourself back home. Me? I'm going back to my keep.

>>27694930
Go to the nearest tavern and drink yourself into a stupor.

>"Fucking princesses."
>Nearby dragon nods in approval before drinking a cauldron of ale

I used to be a knight, but that princess rescuing shit got old. Always the bitching about storybook shit and how I was doing shit wrong. That I was supposed the slay the fucking dragon and that my armor should be this shiny and I should be using a sword instead of a spear. It got old, and do you know what I did?

I fucked the dragoness who kidnapped her and she took a liking to me. Let me tell you, dragons make great sugar mommas/daddies if you can be good enough for em If they are into whatever race you are that is.

Dumbass knights who show up later to slay her sexy scaley ass never expect to sprout knifes in their backs from me once I weave them a little story about having learned the dragon's patterns after skulking about the castle for months, just waiting of a great knight of the realm to assist me in slaying the creature.

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>Hold up /tg/, I want to try something.

Dear Journal,

After returning from my disastrous attempt to rescue one Princess Emile, I did what any man of the Realm would do. I went to a bar, got drunk and complained about the whole thing to my friends. However, while I was thers , some of the Valiant Guard I was drinking with expressed interest in the fate of the dragon, rather than the princess. After all, they reasoned, you wouldn't leave a comrade in such a situation. Why should the dragon not receive the same warning? In hindsight, I should have responded by reminding them that the dragon is a foul beast, or that he tried to kill me, or any of the countless other reasons for not rushing to save a dragon. Unfortunately for me I was too drunk to recognize a terrible idea when I hear it and decided to rush off to "rescue" the dragon from a princess. Even more unfortunate was the bar's close proximity to the docks.

I awoke this morning to find that I had purchased a ticket on a boat for a trip to the dragon's tower and no the crew wouldn't turn the boat around for me.

We are evidently going to make landfall in a few days. I'll work out what to do then.

>My first writefaggotry. It was written on my smart phone on my break at work. How is it?

>>27694977
>befriend dragon
>kill princess
>knock over daddy's kingdom
>collect bounty from the hit contract kingdom
>live on a big pile of shared loot
>get dragonfriend a nice ladydragon (or gentlemandragon, not judging here)
>marry raunchy but dependable and outgoing blacksmith's daughter because screw the rules, you have gold

Life is good.

>Be dragon
>Fall in love with princess
>Meet up with her regularly, in secret
>She loves me too
>Eventually run away with her to secret tower
>Lovey dovey lives in secret
>Suddenly she starts messing with all my treasure hoards
>"I really think the silver cup would look better with the gold coins" tier bullshit I'm talking about
>Try to explain how I got all the treasure and why I put it where I put it
>She starts whining about how i never respect her opinion and never let her do what she wants with my stuff
>Of course not it's my stuff
>I didn't re-arrange all the dresses you brought with you from the castle
>It turns into an argument
>She storms off in the middle of the night
>Next thing I know the entire fucking kingdom is coming down on my head because the bitch told them I'd kidnapped her and tried to rape her and buried her in treasure I got from dead babies or some shit

I have to regularly explain to knights knockign at my door that no, I have not kidnapped any more princesses and no, I do not want to fight. Fighting fucking hurts. The 'scales as hard and metal and stone' stuff is bullshit and a sword fucking hurts.

>>27694977

Well is the dragon a chick? Can she shapeshift into the princess and pretend to be her when I take her back to her father?

>>27695171

Moar plz.

>>27695323
>Working on it. My battery is almost dead, but my shift is almost done. Will post more later.

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>>27693404
>Be righteous soldier who's risen to rank of captain
>Receive message from a kidnapped princess
>She writes that she has been captured by an evil dragon, her rescue will surely land me a lordship and lands to fit the title
>On the back of the message is a map to her whereabouts
>Trek under deserts, over forests, through mountains
>Reach the dragon's lair. It's a temple to some dragon god
>Break in, it's empty
>Examine room by room. Not a soul
>Reach the highest room of the tallest tower, hear singing
>Enter to find the princess. She's not much to look at, but a lovely singer
>A lovely singer, but a shrill nag
>Didn't leave the castle herself because walking is hard, expected me to bring transportation
>Arrange to bring her back to her home, reach the gates.
>I present the princess to the guards, they level their spears on me and arrest me
>In dungeon, king comes to see me
>Calls me a fool. Tells me he paid good money to the dragon to take her away because no man in the kingdom wanted to marry her, the convents threw her out, and she was causing problems in the royal courts
>The king is now feverishly looking for someone to take her off his hands and I've been stripped of all rank and merit as I await execution

It's my kid's birthday tomorrow. Guess he'll be getting a tarnished family name instead of a promising future this year.

>>27694383
>Arguing with Princess.
>"I'm a Knight of the Realm! What did you expect me to do?"
>"Just like a man! Thinking that everything revolves around himself and that he needs to do everything himself!"
>I remember I'm supposed to be a Knight, not a whining child.
>"I'm sorry for my unwanted arrival Mam. However, now that I'm here, can I offer you the service of an escort home?"
>"What? No! I like it here!"
>"But you said that you were tormented daily by the dragon? Why would you want to stay with him?"
>"I can change him."
where do you find these nutters? this princess is not only acting unladylike, she's not even acting like how a human would act...

It's a dragon! it's not a boyfriend! it's a animal, a fire-breathing 2-ton animal, but an animal! I don't think her womanly charms will have any affect on it.

Did the king mention any mental disorders this princess might have?

>>27695295
>Implying it matters

"Which part, the dragon being a chick or being able to shapeshift?" I hear you say?

>IMPLYING. IT. MATTERS.

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>>27694845

>>27695368
>dragon
>animal
Who taught you this shit? They're only as much of animals as we are, aside for being several tons, scaley and fire breathing with a touch of flight because fuck you.

>>27695368
>Did the king mention any mental disorders this princess might have?
She is a princess. Product of generation of borderline incestuous sex. Of course she is all kinds of fucked up! You should be happy that she didn't try to eat her own feet!

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>Be traveling necromancer, seeking dosh and power to buy out my family's estate
>Hear rumors of a missing princess
>Eh fuck it, suppose I'll be the good guy for once and get the dosh
>After painstakingly scouring the city and dealing with the most bitchy thief ever, find a map to her location
>Take loyal lobotomized demon bodyguard and Undead Mook #1 with me
>Turns out it's a gnolls' lair. Knew that translation book [read: one rank in Linguistics] would come in handy someday.
>Through some convoluted bargaining I manage to get the princess from them, leaving behind bodyguard and mook as insurance
>Princess bitches all the way home
>I realize why they put a gag on her and curse my fake chivalry
>Return her to the king, split the dosh with the gnolls. Painful, but it was the bargain
>A couple days later, king asks me to marry the princess
>My mind's telling me no, but my conscience is telling me DOSH
>End up marrying her and rubbing it in my older brothers' faces
>Welp, time to work on making an heir
>She does nothing but bitch the whole time
>Finally says the magic words
>"Your paladin brother was much more pleasant, just pretend you're him for a bit."

If only she could have known what unholy retribution her little clever comment was about to bring down on her, maybe she would have held her tongue.

>>27695524
>Not Just Killing her and resurrecting the corpse to fool people with.

You sure you're a bona fide necromancer? I bet you don't even wear any skulls.

>>27695515
>Of course she is all kinds of fucked up! You should be happy that she didn't try to eat her own feet!
then maybe leaving the inbred princess with the dragon may be a kindness. either it works out and will introduce some much needed diversity to the royal gene pool in the form of half-dragon children. or the dragon eats her ending the already genetically fucked-up bloodline (and all the inbreeding along with it) sounds like a win-win to me.

>>27695354

If she's that big a problem, just arrange an 'accident' to befall her your majesty. It's not your fault she's damn fool enough to practice electric based magic in the bathtub.

>>27695581
Of course I wear one!
It's inside my head.

Also why go through all the ramifications of killing my own wife when I can just make her life extremely inconvenient, slowly bringing her sanity to the breaking point until she grovels before me and begs me to stop? It's like you aren't even Lawful Evil.

>>27695856
>It's like you aren't even Lawful Evil.
he's probably not... sounds to me like he's neutral evil.

>>27693404

backstab her and absorb her humanity, OP

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>girlfriend gets kidnapped by Gorgol, the ancient black drake
>cross the forest of cannibal pixies
>traverse the desert of the ogre warlords
>finally make it to the dragon's lair
>find him railing my girlfriend
>she's screaming in ecstasy as he goes balls deep
>I cry and masturbate in the shadows

>>27695616
>introduce some much needed diversity to the royal gene pool
What are you implying there anon?

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>>27694858
There you go

>>27696146
Both posts, dingus.

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>>27695171

Dear Journal,

On reaching land my situation steadfastly refused to improve. I discovered that I had utterly failed to budget for this trip. I lack the funds to procure a return trip on the boat, nor the supplies for the lengthy land journey. I'm afraid that the only thing to do is obtain the funds for the trip back myself. There are two ways to do this, the simplest solution involves working here in mundane jobs for several months to save enough money. However the fastest solution is to obtain a large sum of gold from some dangerous creature. A dragon's horde of you would. It looks like I'm set on returning to this tower one way or another.

In preparation for the journey to the tower, I used what little money I had left to purchase supplies for the trip. I'm set in this course now and can't turn back.

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>>27695263
>Me and buddies are minding are own business in town square
>Suddenly princess who has been missing for weeks shows up
>Looks kind of messy and starts screaming about how a dragon kidnapped and raped her
>The kings outraged and says he'll let anyone who slays the dragon marry his daughter
>Not really in to "used goods" especially a dragons but hey they've got shit tonnes of gold and one of my pals says being a king would be awesome
>Ride out to some Tower in fuck nowhere and meet the dragon
>Get ready to kill the fucker for harming the princess
>Starts whining about how she was redecorating and didn't give him space and all teh same shit the cobbler goes on about every week about his wife
>Sees our weapons
>Starts crying and saying he doesn't want to fight because sharp things hurt and his scales are sensitive or some bullshit

Our faces when

>>27695368
>this princess is not only acting unladylike, she's not even acting like how a human would act...

Considering my sister was in that exact situation, except instead of a giant dragon it was a giant shithead, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to disagree with you there, Sparky

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>>27696191
Better?

>>27695967
If she's screaming of ectasy from something like that I'm going to have to say she's probably fucked the pixies and ogres on the way to get ready for it

Trudging through caves rife with peril and kobolds, bashed and battered by unrelenting wind and the waves of the high seas, through forests so dense even the sunlight is choked by it's almighty embrace, to a plain most vast inhabited by bloodthirsty savages, and atop a fearsome crag where none dared to climb, I was finally at the tower that they spoke of. Seven hundred stairs it had, and twice that I fought my way up and down those stairs, battling the guardians of the tower, each foe greater in size and ferocity than the last, until I came to a landing. At last, my quest will be over!
And there she was, radiant to behold, the fair lady that I had come to return to her home. I could almost hear the gold coins clinking! A hero's return it would be.
But what's this? The lady is not amused.
"If it is a dragon you have come to have slain, then be done with it. Strike me true, for you see, I AM the dragon."
Wat do /tg/?

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>>27696441

There's only one thing to do, knight.
Slay the dragon.

>>27696441
Beat her unconscious of course and take her back. I signed the contract too so if I can complete the task I shall.

I carry a Merciful weapon for situations JUST like this.

>>27696345
>Not taking the cowardly dragon on a wondrous journey and discovering the meaning of courage and friendship

Bitches ain't shit.

>>27695967
>finally make it to the dragon's lair
>find him railing my girlfriend
>she's screaming in ecstasy as he goes balls deep

>she's screaming in ecstasy
>screaming in ecstasy

uhh, no she's not... the "feels good" part of a the woman's vagina is only the first 7 inches, (which is the typical length of a human penis) past that, you're not pleasuring her anymore, your just hurting her...

now if she's turned on by pain then... you probably don't want anything to do with her, she's waaaay too fucked up in the head.

do you even anatomy?- actually don't answer that I already know the answer...

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>>27696301
Dear Journal,

I made it to the tower this morning. As I entered the tower, I immediately noticed that things were different. Gone was the lingering gloom, things look almost clean. And then the smell hit me. As a soldier, I have walked across battlefields where the smell of death and despair fill the air, I have faced monsters that dwell in the foulest pits, but none of those smells was as disturbing as the smell that hit me when I entered that tower. It was potpourri.

Now, nothing is particularly scary about potpourri in and of itself, however it is not a smell that one should associate with a dragon's lair. I keep thinking back to what Princess Emile said, "I can change him." Could she have been right? Are she and the dragon now happily living together? Would my foolish attempt to interfere only cause sorrow for an otherwise happy couple? And if they are a peaceful and happy couple, I certainly cannot kill them and loot the tower, so how would I get home?

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>>27696663
These thoughts were interrupted when I nearly walked straight into a woman. (Being lost in thought tends to do horrible things to your situational awareness) At first I thought I had somehow gotten lost as the woman was clearly not the princess and lacked the ornamentation that dragons usually prefer to wear in their human forms. However, as soon as I saw her garb, I realized she must be a servant of some kind. I tried to use this opportunity to gain insight into the situation in the tower, but when I began to question her, she ignored me. It seems that she didn't even notice my presence at all. As a fully armed and armored knight, this is quite unusual to say the least.

A quick look into her eyes confirmed my suspicions. The dull glazed over look is indicative of enchantment magic being used to bind this woman against her will. I had read in my studies that some dragons possess abilities similar to the magic practiced by wizards, it is likely that the dragon obtained these servants for itself.

I will soon attempt to breach the inner chamber, if all goes well I will be able to resolve this situation and make my way back home with something for my trouble.

>Should I keep going? Y/N?

>>27696684
Sure

>>27696379
Ya.

>>27696647
>7 inches
>typical length of a human penis
You watch too much porn, Anon.
>>27696684
Do it. Non-shit OC is always welcome.

>>27696647

>now if she's turned on by pain then... you probably don't want anything to do with her, she's waaaay too fucked up in the head.

I think you may underestimate just how fucked up the average human is, anon.

>>27696684

I like it.

>>27696734
>You watch too much porn, Anon.
actually, I just know way too much about random things.

>>27696775
Still don't buy it. Give me at least one link to a scientific study with a large sample size drawn from countries the world over.

>>27696684
>breach
Knock first, you are Knight after all.

>>27696819
>Still don't buy it.
buy what?

>>27696647
>now if she's turned on by pain then... you probably don't want anything to do with her, she's waaaay too fucked up in the head.

Some of the most stable people I know are turned on by pain. And not the BDSM sort of pain, I mean literally "Hey, we're gonna go cut ourselves and rub salt in the wound, want in?" pain.

Ahh, college. Good times.

>>27694534

Nah, I get why, and "jerks" should be in quotes. I just don't agree with the notion that people can change other people

>>27696684
yes!

>>27696857
>>27696819
>>27696775
>>27696734
>>27696647

The average erect penis is 15 cm(6 inches) as stated in a Masters and Johnson landmark study from the 60's, which was then cited in The twelfth edition of "Understanding Human Sexuality"

Unerect the average size is between 6 cm (2.5 inches) and 10 centimeters (4 inches)

>>27696775
>>27696647

>Thinks 7 inches is average dick length
>doesn't get the reference to porn stars often having oversized wangs
>tries to deny watching porn with "I know too much about random things"

Calling underage.

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>>27696684
Dear Journal,

As I made it to the main chamber, I heard voices from inside the room.

"Please, stop this has gone too far! You can't keep doing this to me!"

"Oh, no dearest one. We are just starting our lives together. And obviously we need to make some changes around here! We're going to be spending a lot of time together after all."

"Your mad! I'm not even a-"

"Stop saying that! You're perfect, dearest."

>>27697041
you must save the dragon from her evil witchcraft. just saying its probably her doing this.

>>27697041
Keep listening, but I think you may need to save this dragon

>>27697082
You sure it's a dragon, bro? Not a dragoness?

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>>27697041
Not really sure why, but your story has made me think of this.

>>27697082
You sure it's a dragon, bro? Not a dragoness?

>>27697140
That's only a preference.

Besides some dragons can shapeshift

>>27697041
but do keep going, please.

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>>27697041
Much to my suprise, the voice doing the pleading was in fact the throaty hissing of a dragon. What on Terra is going on here I thought to myself as I bent down to look through the keyhole. What I saw inside was... bizzare to say the least.

Princess Emile had the entire lair cleaned up by the enslaved servants, and decorated as some sort of throne room. The dragon, its scales colored a resplendent red, was kneeling in front of the throne where the princess herself sat. In her hands, she held a brilliant red rod of some arcane nature, and was toying with the tip using her gloved fingers and tongue.

"Its so fortunate for us that I found this rod in your secret chambers dear Martinus. Without it , I don't know if you could ever overcome those silly prejudices that prevented you from realizing your true feelings for me."

The dragon rose up to its feet and snarled, "I have no such feelings for you! And my name isn't Martinus its-"

Without even twisting her hand, Princess Emile somehow caused a brilliant white light to emerge from the rod, the dragon howled in pain and returned to a kneeling position again.

She smiled a disturbing smile, "Tisk, tisk. Dearest one, you don't need to fear forbidden love, as long as we have each other we can prevail. And you don't need to worry about anyone comming between us, we'll be alone together. Forever. For always."

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>>27697166
>Not posting the superior colored version

>be a dragon
>kidnap smoking hot princess because why not
>turns out she's a bitch
>turns out she's a materialistic bitch
>yells at me everyday for not bringing enough shiny shit
>yells at me about knights rescuing her
>yells ate me being a dragon
>my rep would be damaged if I leave her alone
>waiting for an idiot knight so I can be "slayed"
>those idiots really never check the body, seriously those guys think if I fall on an cliff stabbed/slashed I'm dead
>those idiots thinking with their DURR CHIVALRY

Oh well abducting cows and storming dorf lairs were much more fun than princess stuff

>>27697550
save that dragon somehow, I hope you got magic resist.

>>27697665
Huh, speaking of which, a dragon just killed half my fort in DF before an emergency cage trap snagged it. Now I have the task of moving the thing to a secure location and seeing if I can train it without the rest of my fort being burnt alive.

>>27697665
>implying adventurers dont carve dragons up for resale organ by organ
coolstoryquasit

>>27696943
>10 centimeters
>[≈ wavelength of the highest UHF radio frequency, 3 GHz]

Thank you for informing me of that comparison Dictionary of Numbers.

>>27697550
We must save the dragon, but attacking from the front is foolhardy. We'll need to find a way to attack from ambush.

>>27698105
>Partially through the next section. A bit late for that.

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>>27697550
I had seen enough. I slammed into the door with all my force. "Hold villainess! Release this... evil dragon from your... eviler spell?" I finished rather lamely. I'll have to come up with some better challenges for situations like these in the future. However verbal sparring would be a concern for another day, actual combat was needed at the moment.

Princess Emile snarled at me, "Interfering wretch! Can't you see that we're in love! Your oppressive morality is stifling our love! Can't you accept that we're meant to be together! Your zealotry and racist bigotry is stifling me!" I stood there stunned, without even have the strength to argue with that insanity.

>>27698189
She's the princess of Tumblrdon.

>>27698189
Use your mastery of sword throwing (a skill developed during the long voyages between quests) and end the bitch while she is still monologuing

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>>27698189
However dull her arguments may be, she was quick to react to combat. She lept over the dragon's lowered head and ran up his neck to seat herself on its shoulders.

"Come my husband, let us take to the air and destroy this scum!"

"I told you, I'm not your husband! I'm not even-"

The dragon was cut off with another wave of that ruby rod. It lunged from its kneeling position and with a beat of its wings crashed through the wall and was out into the open sky. I stared blankly at the small red dot in the far distance cursing myself for giving the princess the opportunity to escape.

"Damn. The witch got away. Seriously, 'Hold villainess?' What was I thinking, grandstanding like that. If my teachers could see me now the would... Is that dot getting bigger?"

I barely managed to take cover before the flames covered the top of the tower. As I scrambled down the stairs, the dragon's tail swept the building crushing more of the top floor's walls and decor. A small voice in my head noticed that there was no gold among the rubble. I was about to chastise myself for thinking of gold at a time like that, when I realized that unconscious greed wasn't my motivation here. The last time I was in this tower, it was full of the dragon's treasures. Now they couldn't be found. I rushed down the stairs, trying to find a servant. I was able to find a maid who hadn't fled the scene and alternated between dousing her with water from my waterskin and lightly slapping her face until the stress broke the enchantment she was under. (Fortuitously it was a weak enchantment, meant to bind a group to one's will rather than a single powerful individual)

As her eyes regained focus, her mind came back to her as well, "Where... where am I?"

>Still good? Y/N?

>>27698226
Doin great

>>27698226
please don't stop, quite entertaining. port dragon

>>27698226
>Y

>>27697585
I didn't have that one, thank you.

>>27698226
Ye, keep at it man.

>>27698226
>still good
Now you're just fishing for complements, aren't you?
Yes.
I liked the "journal entry" version better, though.

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>>27694834
That actually sounds like a badass Solo D&D adventure
>mfw i slaughter the thieving princess

>>27694845
This deserves a screen cap.

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>>27694749

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>>27698324
>>27698282
>>27698280
>>27698326
Thanks.

I'm trying not to fish for compliments, just wanted to see if anyone was still paying attention. And this is technically supposed to be the same journal entry as >>27697041 as it is rather difficult to update one's journal in the middle of combat.

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>>27697166

>>27698470
I'm glad you figured it out.

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>>27698226
I (rather unchivalrously) barked at the woman, "Listen carefully and try to think! Our lives may depend on it! You were a prisoner, under the influence of foul magics, here in this tower. At any point did you clear the upper room and remove items from it?"

The maid seemed confused, but after concentrating for a few moments she responded, "I think so. I remember someone telling us to 'Clear out this old junk' and we then moved it to the basement levels."

"Great. Now do you remember if there was a bow, crossbow, by the Hells even a sling will do? Any ranged weapon at all?"

Now, I hate archery. Never had a handle for it. Preferred to do my combat up close and personal. But even a handful of darts would do more good against a dragon in flight than a sword would. As such I was incredibly grateful to learn that the maid thought that there were several bows and even a crossbow or two in the treasure piles. I ran (as much as a man in heavy armor can run down narrow spiral stairs) as fast as I can. Digging through the poorly sorted treasures at the bottom was an unusual experience. Never before had I casually discarded so many otherwise valuable items. I eventually managed to find a crossbow that seemed to regenerate its ammunition and a longsword that somehow seemed.. right for me. It wasn't much for someone going against a flying armored death machine, but it was going to have to do.

>>27698508
Think for a moment knight. what is more dangerous, a dragon or something that has managed to ride it?

Dragons are proud creatures and powerful indeed, anything on its back is something to be concerned with.

>>27698508
Not enough "had"s in there.

Too quickly paced to seem past-tense, but otherwise, good.

>>27698604
Yeah. I'm pretty sure that I've dropped the proper tense a few times at least. My bad.

>>27696647
Length has nothing on girth.

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>>27698508

I carefully loaded the crossbow and crept up the stairs to the now entirely destroyed upper chamber. The dragon and the princess were still flying around, making casual passes overhead, hoping to spot me and turn me into a burning corpse. So instead of rushing out foolishly like last time, I decided to lay in wait. I watched the dragon make several passes and I did my best to get a feel for its movements. I decided that I should focus my fire on the princess first, she was the one who was controlling this dragon. I carefully took aim, adjusted to "lead the target" as I heard many rangers put it, and waited for the dragon and its rider to come into sight again.

As they emerged into view I fired the crossbow, the bolt speeding towards the insane princess. For a brief, shining moment, I thought I had her, but with another wave of that rod the dragon banked, taking the bolt in the wing instead.

She called out, "See how true our love for each other is? We'll even take wounds for one another!"

"Oh really? I have yet to see you take one for your mount though!"

Princess Emile laughed, "I don't need to! My husband is strong and powerful! Your puny weapon didn't even scratch his scales!"

Looking at the dragon from my spot in cover, I had to admit that she was right. The powerful enchanted crossbow I thought I had didn't even make the dragon wince (although in hindsight that could have been a side effect of the enchantment it was under). Regardless any attempt to try again was foiled as a green ray struck the crossbow and obliterated the magic runes on the weapon.

I looked up to see the princess laughing at me, "And now look! Your little toy is now broken! Ha,ha,ha!" She had a really annoying laugh.

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>>27699119
I responded the only way I could think of, "This one may not have worked, but you have an entire basement full of weapons! One of them will do the job! Hells, maybe one will even counteract that funny rod you have there!"

That at least seemed to scare her. "Well, we'll have to fix that then now won't we," she howled.

"Come my husband, lets seal off his chance at ruining our lives!"

At that they pair dived low towards the tower base, I rushed up to the top dreading what I would see when I looked down. The dragon and the princess were positioned in front of the main entrance to the tower, as I looked on in horror, the princess was beginning to order her dragon to use its breath on the base of the tower, flooding it with fire, burning wooden supports and melting the stone walls. This would not only seal off the basement, but it would bring the entire tower down with it! As if things weren't tense enough, the door burst open and the maid from earlier stumbled out, right into the path of the dragon. Armed with only a sword and the life of at least two people in danger, I did the only thing I could do.

I drew my bland and jumped.

>>27699119
>She had a really annoying laugh.
Now she's crossed the line from evil into Evil.

>>27699195
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RL3fFoHi_to

I imagine something like this.

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>>27699180
>I drew my bland and jumped.

Fffffffuuu.......

*I drew my blade and jumped.

>>27699612
My mind auto-corrected it to 'bland blade' for some reason. Probably cause I've always liked the whole average-looking-weapon/weapon-is-actually-powerful thing.

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>>27699180
The first thing I noticed was the look on her face. It was beautiful in a schadenfreude kind of way. First it was amusement, she must have thought I jumped out of despair or something. Then as I drew my blade and stared down at her it changed to confusion. Then came the dawning comprehension, the look of sheer horror as she realized what I was trying to do. Finally as my blade cleaved her head from her neck there was the disbelief, the surprise that I had actually pulled it off.

The second thing I noticed was the look in the dragon's eyes. It changed as soon as Princess Emile died. Its eyes showed its relief, and dare I say it... possibly its gratitude too.

The third thing I noticed was the horrible crunching noise. The sound of metal and bones cracking in horrible ways from the force of my fall.

The last thing I noticed was the pain shooting up my legs. And then I blacked out.

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>>27699180
You've got me on the edge of my seat.

So, anyone here know any good romance stories involving dragons?

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Oh hey, we're back.

Who's still here and wants me to continue?

>>27699910
Continue please.

>>27699910

Moar.

>>27699910
Continue, damn it. I'll screencap when it's done.

Also, you picked a really terrible time to decide to writefag

>>27699935
Tell me about it. I at least used the down time to get dinner and some exercise.

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>>27699791
I awoke seemingly hours later. My legs were still ruined, but it looks like some efforts to heal them were made. I looked around the room, the maid from earlier was waiting by the bedside. She looked nervous.

“Where… where am I?” I asked and then realizing what I had said smiled a little and continued, “Feel free to snap at me about how I need to need to listen carefully and try to think if that helps.”

At that she smiled a little at least. I returned it and took the opportunity to use the goodwill between us to ask about my location again.

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>>27699961
“Oh, yes,” the young maid said, “The dragon whose rider you killed took us both in its talons. It flew us up over north over the mountain range, and into some cave. Unfortunately I’m not sure exactly where we are in relation to anywhere. The dragon then tended to your wounds a little before departing. It didn't tell me where it went. However before it left it did say that it would be back-”

At this moment a tremendous thud, the sound a massive creature makes when it touches the ground, echoed around the cavern.

“-soon,” the maid finished rather lamely.

At this moment, one of the walls of my “room” disappeared, flickering out as though it was only illusionary to begin with. I suddenly found myself face to face with the red dragon from earlier.

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>>27694383
Not to turn this into real world problems, but

>that one "friend" on Facebook always bitching about how she can never find nice guys
>she's always dating dicks on purpose, doesn't even try to find someone nice

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>>27699989
Is this it? I thought to myself. Is this how I die? Quick, try to remember the etiquette for talking to a dragon. Is there etiquette for talking to dragons?

I began to speak, “Oh mighty red dragon Martinus-“

The mighty beast cut me off immediately, “SILENCE WORM. AS I TOLD THE OTHER HUMAN WHO DARED TO CALL ME SUCH MY NAME IS NOT MARTINUS.”

I felt that pointing out that that human could have called it many other things without suffering any consequences but thought better of it. I may be crippled and trapped in the lair of the most dangerous creature in the known world, but I’m not a complete idiot. As I opened my mouth to say something more polite, I interrupted again.

“MY NAME IS MARTINA! THE PATHETIC HUMAN WHO BOUND ME COULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE THAT I WAS FEMALE. NOW SERVANT GIRL,”

The maid immediately came up and curtsied before the might dragon; or as I should be saying dragoness, and asked what she should do.

“MAKE THIS MAN INTO SOMETHING THAT IS EVEN MARGINALLY PRESENTABLE TO A MIGHTY WYRM SUCH AS MYSELF. OR AT LEAST DO WHAT YOU CAN WITH HIM IN HIS… BROKEN STATE.”

I could swear that that dragoness was sneering at me as she added the last bit. As she turned away and plodded off deeper into the cave, I had to wonder what exactly she wanted me for.

So journal, here I am stuck in a dragon’s lair, Gods know how many miles away from home, with a cute maid and a dangerous dragoness who wants to talk to me. Hopefully, if the Gods are on my side, I’ll be back soon to update you more.

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Hey everyone. I'm still working on the next section, but I'd appreciate your feedback still! As a way of saying thanks for being such good listeners, I've provided a clean copy of this story (with marginal editing even) on Pastebin!

http://pastebin.com/QXuSBgGp

Be back in a bit.

>>27700087
I liked it. I'll check up on this thread in the morning. Keep up the good work.

Jesus Christ, it's Harem Knights all over again.

>>27700217
Harem Knights?

>>27700067
>>27700087
I smell a harem anime in the making.

But one that seems actually half-decent. You had my curiosity, gentle writer. Now you have my attention.

>>27700217
In its original form, the Harem Knights weren't a bad thing. Then elitism set in and people started making over-powered snowflakes and it turned away from "Fa/tg/uys having fun adventures and brotherhood in a fantasy land and makin' on the fantasy girls," to, "/tg/ dominates the world with their dicks and muh technologies."

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>>27700067
Dear Journal,

The meeting with the dragoness went… well for two individuals who are practically born to fight each other. It started out with a long and awkward silence. I was dressed in some almost archaic courtly garb that was somehow perfectly tailored for me and she was a massive dragon who could destroy me with a sufficiently deep sigh. For some reason, I’m convinced that she felt as awkward as I did for those first few minutes.

Then she coughed a little and spoke, “I understand that some human worms find the majestic form of dragons to be somewhat intimidating. As a show of my magnanimity, I will deign to shift into a form that would be more suitable for… interacting with creatures like you.”

I was all-but rolling my eyes at the arrogance displayed by this creature, but when she shifted it was another story entirely. I’m not too proud to admit that the sight of her human form left me a bit speechless, she looked like the sort of girl who would be on a nobleman’s arm as he went to the seedier sort of parties, but less… sleazy.

>>27700313
>>27700244
>>27700217
I'll try not to make the entire world fall in love with our protagonist then.

>>27700313
>In its original form, the Harem Knights weren't a bad thing.
Yes they were.

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>>27694845
Sadly my screen fu is not as good as it could be, but here we are.

>>27700313
>In its original form, the Harem Knights weren't a bad thing

In its original form, Harem Knights was simple wish-fullfillment. Relationship troubles and fantasies transposed into a fantasy environment. Depending on whether you deem masturbatory fantasies "bad" or not, it may or may not have been a bad thing, but at least it was inobtrusive. People didn't take pride in it like it's god's gift to /tg/, didn't hold it up as an example of "/tg/ getting shit done", etc. Please keep this low-key too.

Alright. I'm going to do my last update for the night then pick up in the morning. With 4Chan crashing like this I'm not going to stay up fighting it.

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>>27700317
Martina saw me staring at her and looked pleased with herself. “Yes, human. Stare in awe as I assume this new form is more suited to your tastes?”

Before I could help myself I opened my mouth and chimed in with, “Yes, and then some!” with the goofiest smile on my face.

Martina immediately went as red as her scales. For one terrifying moment I thought that my careless words had enraged the dragoness, but from the way she was biting her lip and looking away, it seemed that she was more embarrassed than anything else. Its worth mentioning that when she is flustered, she snorts little puffs of smoke when she breaths. Its actually rather cute to tell you the truth.

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>You enter the tower where dreadfull dragon has a kidnapped princess
>This is the dragon
wat do, /tg/?

Rolled 2

>>27700403
I roll to seduce.

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>>27700393
Alright, see you guys in the morning then.

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>>27700403
Let's rock.

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>>27700411
…it was nice knowing you, gentlemen.

Please, on my headstone, write "worth it".

well written story so far.

thank you Knight of the Realm

>>27700403
>>27700411
>>27700416
You'll be lucky. She's the only character in the series who fights you honourably, sword-to-sword, actually trying to kill you, rather than fuck you.

Which is exactly why she's so awesome.

>>27700393
I look forward to it, sir knight!

>>27700338
That's your opinion and I respect it. My opinion, meanwhile, is that the knights were better when they didn't take themselves too seriously.

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>>27693404
Man that's nothing.
I had to save my princess from her, it turns out, evil father.
I lost ten times her weight in gold bribing people, the castle he'd given me went to an old friend, I've lost a knee cap and I'm now cursed by the dead court wizard to start vomiting ink if I ever write sonnets or poems in my life, ever again, that's pretty big for a bard.

On the up side, we're together and she loves my poor cripple ass like mad; the current Queen has exiled me because about 1 in every 4 nobles in the Kingdom know what I did and are keeping it quiet after they found out their King was an incestual, murderous, sadistic killfuck-happy rapist, so I guess nobles do have some honor.
It'll be interesting to see how they react when we return hand in hand and the errant Princess claims the throne heir for herself, since the new Queen is far too old for any more kids.
Meaning I guess I'm going to be the royal consort/King/possibly the royal assassin at this rate.
You knights have it easy, your story has a cohesive narrative built in; we bards have to make shit up as we go along.

>>27700502
>start vomiting ink if I ever write sonnets or poems in my life, ever again
Nigger, you can produce ink in industrial amounts, and you are complaining?

I can't believe all this things about knights in shining armor saves princesses for the king.
I remeber vividly 400 hundred years ago, that was almost 20 years into my rule as the dragon king.
I was trying to help the peasents solve some problems with land dispute between them and a local lord.
Suddenly, my advisor rushes in screaming about a group of armed knights from the neighboring kingdom has kidnapped my daughter.
I, as the great dragon king, could not wait for the knights to assamble so i set of after the knights to stop them.
After a short battle i managed to defeat the knights and rescue my own daughter.
tl;dr
> The dragon king saves his daughter from the knights

>>27700528
I wish, we're talking ink that turns into black smoke as soon as it touches the ground. Because wizards.
Still its better than the original curse he put on me, which was literally eating my own words, if I didn't consume my own poetry (As in literally it disappears from every book ever when I eat it, so destroying my own works) then I'd die by drowning in ink.
One line a day, until I found her. I was down to my last major works when I first found her.
Bibliovore is a hell of a curse.

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>>27693737
That sounds familiar.

>>27700576
>we're talking ink that turns into black smoke as soon as it touches the ground
Swallow some earth, or simply hold it in your mouth as you write
The wizard clearly didn't thought it trough

>>27700606
Between the ink in your throat, the dirt in your mouth, and the clouds of presumably noxious smoke all around you, how would you breathe?

>>27693740

Gold plated lead, or evidence that the dragon is having limited alchemical success turning lead into gold?

Eh?

Ehh?!

>>27700623
By using some sort of air generation spell inside your nose

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Mind if join you guys?
Man, you think you have it tough? Try it from the other side; I fell in love with the princess of the kingdom because she's the one who got away.
LE diabolist here, I've been working towards my ascension, made a little deal here and there; blood of noble virgins and family, all that jazz.
Then I shoot too high, the Princess actually manages to catch me out, because god is she sharp.
Then of course, while I'm on death row, some fool who thinks he can use me as a minion breaks me out.
So I do his bitch work for a while, bringing down the kingdom from within, so on since hells, its a living and I lost everything when they caught me.
Until he orders me to go broker a deal with a dragon to eat the Princess. Part of our original deal signed in blood was that I'd get her back, once this was all over. Because she is far too interesting to let just disappear.
I'm not saying I loved her yet, but still.
I point this out to him, he shrugs and gives a little monologue about whats necessary to bring down the kingdom, inside I'm raging since he's not even after her; he's after the King, who'll come after her when he realizes she's in danger.
Anyway, long and short of it, this red dragon has a copper dragon who has it in for him, I set up a deal with the copper behind the Reds back, after I'm forced to make a deal with the red. Or to be clearer about that, I blackmail the copper dragon by stealing his soul and keeping it in a matchbox, he gets to go on living his own life if he does me a little favor now and then.

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>>27700715
We go off, slay the red dragon; copper dragon attacks the Princess, her father appears, copper dragon gives this long speech about the sins of the Kings forefathers and how they have damned his line, then eats him, of course.
Then we head back to my 'Masters' home, copper sets it on fire, eats him.
Now I got this big army of minions waiting on me to lead them against the Kingdom, I'm continuing his original plan modified to make me look like I saved the Kingdom, rather than destroying it as he intended and somewhere out there, she's waiting for me, she knows I'm a monster, I won't even deny that, but I'm not unreasonable, and I actually love her.
We could be something beautiful, because she's a fascinating, cunning young woman. If she ever turned? She'd be far greater than I am. Even on the side of mercy she's something wonderful.
Thing is? I'm a pretty damn good king right now, the peasants are fed, the last of the great evils of the land (Barring mine of course, but those are now state religion and practiced in the same churches the holy light is now forced to share with them. Besides, we only human sacrifice criminals and a new religious caste I'm setting up who are going to be born to die on the altars, we're very organized about that sort of thing.) are banished, we've a copper dragon, who's warmed up to me and now lives in the castle guarding the realm, we're far better off than we were under the forces of 'good', we've even managed to cure a plague which was ravishing the Kingdom when we conquered it (Not my fault, still got the blame), if she'd just accept one of the offers I sent her, or look at the posters I put up offering parlay to the rebels so long as they put down arms, if she'd just take a little leap of faith, we could rule this land together, man and wife, I'd happily let her try and foil my future schemes, because any woman who can is frankly, a woman worth marrying. A dark king and a light queen, I'd be happy with that arrangement.

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>>27700751
But, since I'm evil, even though my word is my vow, it'll never be, she's already gathering an rebellion to try and take me down now the Kingdom is in anarchy and I've marching on the Capitol to save it from the barbarian horde that my old 'Master' messily left laying around, silly bugger, of course, his old demonic shadow beast friends are a little upset I tipped the cow and I'm now fighting a war on two fronts, one of which she actually thinks I'm allied with.
I saved the kingdom, saved her life, saved her people from the monsters unleashed by another, but she'll never appreciate that. And I know she's going to kill me in the end, because she's light and I'm darkness; I can see it coming like a wave on the horizon.
So you think you got it bad? You think your little dragon problem is trouble? You think that just because she's taking some time to warm to you that you can complain?
At least you have a chance.
At least you won't die by her hand.
Imagine it for a moment will you, imagine being the darkness, which falls in love with the light.

>be knight
>fancy maiden
>save her from thugs on several seveal occasions
>"my lady would you protest if i were to ask for your hand?"
>"i need someone who is gallent, brave, and makes me feel safe"
>"my lady i am such a man"
>" you are but you must be taller; a more impressive sight for the other ladies to envy"
> "but my lady i stand a whole head taller then you and weigh nearly fifteen stone. No man would call me small"
>"yes this is true but i wouldn't want to ruin this friendship we have kindled, what if you grow bored with me"
>"never shall such a thing happen my lady I will be at your side always, please allow me the chance"
>"give me time to think noble knight
>later found out she has engaged with an ill mannered barbarian


such is life

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>>27700769
>>27700751
>>27700715
And saved (pic related)
Thanks for that anon

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>>27696775
Average length is a bit over 5 inches, actually. girth is more important, anyway.

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>>27694845
>>27694858
>>27698409
Here, have a screencap.

>>27700792

He just posted a synopsis of the evil AP Path of Thorns or something.

>>27701138

Way of the Wicked, sorry

>>27696345
You should have bedded the dragon, it's probably the most womanly being you'll ever meet.

>>27700403
I remeber that part, the princess totaly planed it so she could have major lezing with dragonknight girl. Just leave em in peace and tell the king whats up. He was super bro should be fine

>Be knight
>Have made my way through the forest of despair, forded the great river of souls long past and up Pinnacle rock to dragons keep.
>Make my way up to the door.
>Upon threshold there lies a parchment.
"Thou Princess is rescued. Good fortune to ye upon further endeavours"
>A Bout of Ire doth set upon me.

So, i have a cushy job at the moment.

Escorting a group of bards who play non-traditional music, they call themselves "Serpent's Finger" and "Balad of screaming heads on spikes" and have a huge following among the younger folk.

Well, i'm in the privy right now, last night i stuck up conversation with a charming young lady, and she took me back to her place. Only now i'm realising it was unusual to go up so many stairs, i had thought she was just a handmaiden or something. out she's a Duke's daughter who snuck out.

I think i might be boned, there is no way i'm getting out of this place without someone noticing. Right now there are 2 guards on her door. Worst still she's ignorant of any witches little remedies and i wasn't carrying my skins with me last night.

-
Posted from my iOrb

>>27701672
Is there anything cushy out the window?
If nothing permanent, just see if you can aim for a passerby. You might avoid breaking any legs, and then you can just book it.

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>Be ill-mannered barbarian.
>Living the good live, messing around the world, living adventures, looking to avenge my fathers, the usual...
>One day, have adventures rescuing princess from medieval kingdom.
>Swift slap-kiss romance.
>Return to kingdom.
>Meet this one honorable knight, a true paladin, beacon of justice in a dark and indifferent world, who has wanted the hand of the princess because he was in love.
>Feel awful, I'm not nearly as admirable and altruist as him.
>Ask princess why he didn't get with him.
>"Oh, but he's so boring! He's all about this stupid courtly love, and helping the weak, while you are a dashing and dangerous barbarian who gives me a funny feeling..."

.........

>Years later.
>Princess got into a loveless political marriage after I dumped her sorry ass.
>Knight and I travel the world as best bros, I joined his order and help spread good in the world, while maintaining my barbaric combat style.
>He eventually married one of the young hunters in my tribe.
>I married one of the paladins in the Order.
>All is well.

Please, may I have some more?

>>27701860
10/10

Captcha: acclamations

I continued my journey despite my despair over finding the last castle devoid of Princesses, climbing desperate to another keep famed to be occupied by a draconic master. Silently, I trudged up the rocky steps to the the looming peak of the castle walls. Finding the great oak door unlocked, I drew my sword and unslung my shield entering guardedly.

With great wariness, I moved across the threshold, looking around the dark, foreboding corridors. I crept in with great unease making my way to the courtyard on the look out for anything draconic. Therein I spotted another knight wandering the halls, momentarily anguished I caught my greave on the stonework. The other knight turned towards me at the sudden sound, the eyeslits of his visor staring at me. Fumbling for words with the uneasy feeling of porridge sliding within my armour, I asked him "Doth thy know where hence dragon is, sir knight?"

At my words the other knight strode into the courtyard, the outdoor light revealing his blackened armour and from his scabbard he withdrew a great gold gilt blade set with many jewels.

"I will be your dragon, Knave." and hence the knight rushed at me, swinging his golden sword.

The duel was hard and this black knight was a competent swordsmen, fighting with his great golden sword and a blackened kite shield.
"Thou callest thou self a knight but thou is just a base rogue and common villein, here I will give thee five hundred of mine ducats to be off with you." said the Black knight
"Thoust can keep thy ducats!" I cry, batting away his sidewards slice with my shield. Our battle continued and he was indeed a strong opponent but despite the desperation of our battle I could feel it slowly shifting in my favour.

>>27703244
"Knight, you are true swordsman and of strong ability, give up this fight and I will see thee as mine Captain of the guard whereat all may laud your skill." said the black knight.
"I must decline your offer, good sir, the pandering of others does not behoove me" I said squarely.
We continue our fight, which is now in my favour, the black knight seems to be aware of it as well.
"Goodly knight, the garb you wear and your device tells me that you of low birth, give up this battle and I will endow you with mine blade. There is not the like of it in any of the seven kingdoms."
"Low though they may be, I would not besmirch their honour by accepting such an appeal to my greed whilst on a noble endeavour." But at that moment, I took a mistep forward opening my guard which the black knight took advantage of; slashing across the side of my cuisse, renting a gash.
The black knight snorted. "Noble endeavour, indeed, none but charlatans and glory-hounds go aquesting. Pray tell which are you?" But I ignored his jibe and with a great back-handed swipe caught his sword, pulling it from his grasp. With a brief clashing of our shields, I caught him off guard toppling him to the ground.

As I stand over him, he reaches forth his hand imploringly, saying unto me in exhausted breath. "Brave knight, thou has bested me. But listen hither, whilst of modest virtue, thy princess here hath not a penny to her name. My father owns an entire kingdom, render the princess unto me and I will see thee richly endowed."
"Thou serpent, I would defend any lady of virtue from thou fiend's grip. Begone wretch, Leave this place."
At which the Black knight reached back and withdrew his helm, revealing the most resplendent chestnut brown hair and fairest visage.
"I will be your Princess, good sir knight"

>>27703244
>>27703271
I just don't even anymore... 10/10

>>27703271
I think I may be reading this wrong, but it appears that while the black knight is a very pretty man, he's still a man.

Is he even an elf?
Good job.

>>27703373
I had originally written it more romantically in that the princess was deliberately faking being the black knight and was merely testing the protagonist.

But i suppose i did leave it really quite ambiguous, so read it however suits you.

>>27703696
>princess was deliberately faking being the black knight

I know that, there are several legends about the like.

But you didn't emphasize the "blacknight removes helm; iz gril" enough.

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please excuse my poor sceencap skills

>>27703767
Just crop the bottom out sucka

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>>27703762
Pretty much and I will totally concede that. But retrospectively, its quite amusing the potential interpretations so I may leave it as is.

>>27703767
>giant white space
You're shit.

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>>27700400
The two of us sat there in another awkward silence for several moments, until the maid came back with a pot of tea. The poor girl looked incredibly nervous. I suppose I would be too in her position though.

Eventually Martina spoke up, “The purpose of this meeting, is to say that although I should be killing you for the wounds inflicted upon me at our first meeting, that I shall not do so… err… right now that is. Um… I’m trying to say that I saved your pathetic life as a show of gratitude for your assistance with that princess. Uh… you’re welcome to stay until your wounds heal. But then you must leave this place never to return!”

“Uh, mam I’m not even entirely sure where I am. Hells, I don’t even know how I’m going to get back home, let alone return here.”

At this Martina coughed a little again, “I suppose I could help with that as well. When the time comes for you to leave, that is. But, you don’t need to feel rushed or anything!” She finished the last bit with a bit of a flush before calling out, “Maid girl, please help my guest return to his rooms and tend to him!” She turned to me and quietly said, “I’ll check on you later, if you don’t mind that is,” before turning and leaving the room.

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>>27704027
The maid from before was at my side in a moment.

“Here sir, give me your arm and let me help you back to your room,” the young girl said smiling.

I returned her grin quickly and asked, “Thank you miss… I’m sorry I never caught your name?”

She smiled at me, “Sir, my name is Aimée.”

“Thank you for all your help Aimée. By the way, do you mind if I ask what the deal between you and our host is? She treats you like a servant, but I didn't see anyone around the first time I traveled to her tower.”

“No sir. I’m not her servant. I’m a lady’s maid in a city to the south of that tower. About a week before you freed me, the dragon showed up with that woman on his back. She waved some sort of strange crimson rod and told the dragon to ‘Find some servants to make our new household,” then the dragon looked me in the eyes and muttered something. I vaguely recall fuzzy memories of working but the next thing I knew I was being slapped in the face by you.”

That stung a little to be sure. “I’m sorry about that. If I had the choice I would have gone with a gentler method.”

She laughed at my bashfulness, “No! Its fine! I only really felt that last one anyways! And after all, you did save my life and free me so it’s no problem at all!”

>>27704027
>Tsundere dragon

I kinda like where this is going.

Keep it classy, though.

>>27704216
Bumping for justice.

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So there is a chance I'm going to actually need a name for my protagonist.

What do you think? Should I give him a name, leave it up to popular vote, or just keep him nameless?

>captcha: mplaccr justice
>Implacer Justice isn't a bad name....

>>27704533
He should be and stay an expy of the Nameless Rank and File Soldier.

>>27695368

>dragons
>creatures of incredible intelligence that live tens of thousands of years
>animals

I should eat you for that

>>27704533
>>27704556

Name him File Rank or Rank File or something else that cleverly indicates he's a nobody

>>27704589
Well, if you want to get all technical-like, every thing that has flesh, regardless of sentience, is an animal.

>>27704597
If we really want to get into that, maybe he should bleep it out every time he says his name, or he gets cut off every time.

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>Living in the Great Sea
>No princesses or anything, just pirates and shit
>Every family reunion, job interview and party I go to I look like an idiot because I've never kidnapped a princess
>My best friend is my asshole Kraken roommate
>One day we just chilling and blazin' some seaweed
>Kraken gets the idea to go on land and kidnap a princess
>In the cloudy haze of narcotics I agree

>turns out breathing outside of water is fucking hard

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>>27693740
>>27694640
Sadly, he was long gone with the princess when I found out. Lead was worth a pretty penny at least, though. Didn't buy me a castle, but I got a nice plot of land, a farmhouse, and the previous owner's recalcitrant daughter thrown in as an extra. But she's pretty cute, if a little wilful at times.

>>27694663
Did that with what turned out to be a confused female dragon. I only discovered this AFTER a series of broventures, when she jumped me and pretty much raped me. That partnership didn't last long; she stayed long enough to get... I'm not sure if you'd call it 'pregnant' if it's eggs, but whatever. Stayed long enough to get the half-dragon eggs, then vanished while I was sleeping it off one night. Left a note wrapped in lacy underthings that were tying me to a tree, explaining she'd gone to raise the babies somewhere, and to stay out of trouble.

Oh, crap. I hope she doesn't come find me here. I don't want to have to explain how I've got a wife that isn't her.
But then, we never actually committed to anything, other than just fucking a lot.

Dragons are lawful, right?

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>>27703767

>>27700403
Why, rescue them both, of course! Return the princess, keep the dragon as waifu.

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>Be a wandering bard in a loser adventurer party
>Taking a stroll through Endria, capital city of the world's biggest empire
>Guards take us to the emperor
>The fat fuck wants to hire us as assassins to take out the king of some idyllic little island nation so he can take over

>"Yeah fine fuck it we're adventurers"

>We leave the city on foot, on a forested path to the dock
>We find a big-ass forest dragon
>Kill him, take his scales
>Find an abandoned cleric stronghold in the woods
>it's not like we're on a time constraint or anything
>Go in
>Steal treasure
>Guess what's on the bottom floor? A skeleton dragon
>Kill him, take his teeth
>Finally make it to port
>Sail out on some salty asshole's ship
>Find ourselves trapped in a storm
>Attempt to steal the captain's treasure
>Fucker gets mad as all hell
>Jumps off boat
>Guess what? He's a shapeshifting sea dragon
>Kill him, take his boat

>Finally the island is in sight
>The king comes out to greet us on a little boat
>"Ah, we've been waiting for you... prepare to die!"

>The island begins to shake
>It rises up into the sky.

>THE ISLAND
>IS
>A FUCKING
>DRAGON

Our cleric mumbled something about his god, Dungainne-Mastoria being cruel to him that day.

>>27704844
Your DM has an incredible boner for dragons.

>>27704641

"Hi I'm R-HELLO THERE STRANGER, WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK"

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>>27704533
Okay. So the current consensus seems to be leave him nameless for now. Should I also assume that you don't want information on his background as well?

>>27700693
Gold-plated lead. I'm not sure that dragon even knew, tbh.

>>27701672
Been there, done that. After my first time free-climbing down a castle's tower, I bought a Ring of Feather Fall. Works fucking WONDERS. You can even glide if you steal a bedsheet on the way.

>>27704706
Kidnapping princesses?
I tried that once. It didn't go well. For one thing, she was so weighed down with fancy dresses that I had to slice through most of the layers before she had enough freedom of movement for me to bind her. Then she whined about the cold when we got outside. Then about the way my horse smelled. Then the way it looked at her, and the bumping, and the movement, and how she felt sick.
She shut up after I started dunking her in wells and rivers on the way whenever she complained. Didn't hurt that her undergarments were white and well-fitted, even to her somewhat lacking figure.
Holed up in an abandoned keep for a few weeks, eventually got a reply to the ransom note I left. It said 'keep her'.
Ended up trading her for a week's drinks in a tavern the next evening. Far as I know, she's still scrubbing floors.

Next time, I picked somewhat better. Rebellious, independent type. Just rode up when she was out rebelling on her horse, snagged her reins, and galloped off with her.
Then it turned out I'd been trapped. Twice.
See, not only had I snagged the decoy princess, but the only member of staff that looked enough like the girl in question was one of the footmen. He was all to happy to be kidnapped, though, and refused any change of clothing, saying it wouldn't be right.
Next time, I found the actual princess. With guards, this time. They were dispatched easily enough, snatched the princess, then she declared she was having none of it, pitched me off my own horse, and fled on it.
Horse came back the next morning, dragging a muddied, bruised princess by the reins.
She tried again the next day, same result, but more mud.
Third day, she escaped on foot, got eaten by an owlbear.

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>>27704965
Or while I'm at it the world as a whole?

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>>27704965
A little mystery is always good. It's your story though, so you can do whatever you please.

>mfw he turns it into a quest

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>>27705028
While I may run a quest one day, that is not this day Anon. I'm having enough trouble getting used to being a writefag, let alone running a quest.

>>27704979
> owlbear
No princess, no ransom, army out looking for me. I took the trap for collateral and fled. My horse saw me good, and I managed to flee to the next country. Tried their princess, but got attacked by a dragon while making it to a hideout. Stole the princess and the trap, set my horse on fire, and fucked off to a mountain somewhere. I couldn't follow without the horse, so I just left it hanging. Rescued the princess on bequest of the king later, after my horse had healed. Princess recognised me, tried to steal my horse, lost two fingers for her trouble, and I got screwed out of payment for her.

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I'm having a ton of fun imagining that this thread is a bunch of knights and dragons complaining about their princess-based troubles.

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>>27704216
She continued in a rather sly tone of voice, “Say, since I met you, you’ve saved a dragoness and a young maid. Do you make a habit of going around and rescuing damsels in distress?”

“I’ll admit that this is an unusual situation, Aimée. But as a Knight, I am called on from time to time to rescue damsels in distress. In fact, I initially met our host when I thought that Princess Emile was one herself. And then she turned out to be… well…”

“Crazier than a wizard on a power trip?” Aimée asked slyly.

“Ha ha. Yes! That is a good way of putting it.”

>>27704990
It'll be fine no matter how you do it, but I'd prefer a protagonist with a name he never gets to say, in a world he never gets to talk about.

>>27705125
is there a drawfag in the thread that could illustrate this?

>>27705125
> Implying it's not.

I'm out of the princess business, I think. No more rescuing them, no more dragons. Farmer's daughter has warmed up to me now after a few months of not beating her, feeding her skinny ass up a bit, and having her tend the animals.
I think I'm going to go around rescuing lower-born wenches from orcs and suchlike, once I get bored of this farming business. They're bound to be MUCH more grateful.

Maybe I can open a tavern run by rescued wenches?

>>27705138
Shieee mang you're still going, keep at it!

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>This fucking thread.

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i'm loving this thread.

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>>27705150
All of us should be at a bar, mostly drunk and soused.

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>>27705248
>>27705150
I'm an--and imagine this word is in italics--OK drawfag. Would an image the quality of pic related (something I drew for a friend) suffice?

>>27705291
Go for it. You're not shit, so whatever.

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>>27705291
Listen, this is my first time starting a real thread and my first time writefagging. I'm simply honored that this has gained enough attention to be worth a drawfag at all.

Thanks everyone for making this possible!

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>>27705291
fucking go for it man!
make sure to make that ceiling really fucking high for them dragons.

>>27705307
Alright. Any particular character-type guys you'd like to see?

>>27694845
Bless you, /tg/, prince of boards.

>>27705325
Knights, warriors, paladin's. All just drinking. Try and throw in a dragon (hidden maybe) just for shits and giggles.

>>27705291
Go for it. Nice to see appreciation for my writings. Not like those FUCKING PRINCESSES.

Totally sticking with wenches, after I'm done sticking it to this one.

>>27705372
>a dragon
we've had several dragons in the thread, being pretty vocal.
we need a few dragons, and definitely not hidden.

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>>27705138
We reached my room, or at least my three walls. Aimée excused herself for a moment and walked into an adjoining room. As I was gingerly sitting down on the bed, feeling my tender wounds, Aimée returned with a tub of warm water.

Beaming from ear to ear, Aimée chimed in, “Alright. Lets get you out of those clothes.”

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>>27705487
Seeing the look I had on my face must have made her realize what she just said, she blushed an adorable red and stammered, “I-I mean so I c-can help change your dressings and tend to your injuries! N-nothing else! I mean, not that y-you’re not- “

I cut the poor girl off there. “Its okay Aimée. I see what you mean.”

At this I stood up and awkwardly let Aimée begin to gingerly remove my garb and bandages.

>>27705487
FUCK JUST WHEN IT GETS STEAMY I NEED TO GO TO BED.
THIS THREAD BETTER NOT DIE BEFORE THE STORY IS OVER.
THIS SHIT BETTER BE ARCHIVED.
also knight of the realm guy, use a tripcode in case you want to continue the story outside of the thread.

>>27705402
>>27705372
>>27705325
>>27705307

We need a dragon with a disguise spell. He's of course smaller than normal but still fucking huge compared to normal humans who just view him as a giant man. He's just sitting at the bar with some adventurers, sharing stories and drinking. In the background a mage walks in, does a 360 and moonwalks the fuck out because he's perceptive.

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Y'all knightlers be jousting in a chivalry thread.

>>27705553
Don't expect that much from this draw. I'm currently planing to have a knight, a barbarian, a dragon and a prince around a table, all drunk and grumpy as fuck.

I'm not good with coloring, so I'll post an uncolored version.

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>>27705553

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>>27700349
>filename

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You guys think you have problems? You don't even know half the shit iv had to put up with.

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>>27705544
Alright then. Here we go. First time tripfagging so lets see if this works.

>>27705641
i have zero idea who you are, but if you're trying to slay dragons with this sword, you DESERVE your problems.

Drawfag here. Nearly halfway done.

>>27705739
Thats the one of the stock arisens from dragons dogma.

Each dragon is a arisen that failed his or hers duty to god, an arisen is someone filled with mighty will power who the dragon selects to vanquish them, by ripping out their heart and consuming it. The arisen is granted imortality strength, speed, and intellect over mortal men and the ability to call forth human like creatures from the "rift" who serve him in his quest for the dragon. A dragon can make many arisen. The dragon isnt that improtant though. turns out the world is a cycle, a single spoke in the endless chain of the wheel of time. The god of this link like all gods of the link is a former arisen, who having powered and watch over creation by their will along desires to die, thus they make a dragon from an arisen who failed, who then makes arisens, the arisen who slays the dragon and overcomes all things imposes his will upon god, kills him and takes his place.

Its really fun and I would do unspeakable things to play an rpg set in its universe.

>>27705859
Homebrew it.

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>>27705542
Now some might think me funny for getting distracted from a beautiful girl tending to me like Aimée was, but this was my first time since I regained consciousness that I could see the damage I caused to my body by jumping off that tower. I could quickly see that this was no second rate healing job that Martina threw on me. I could see from the pattern of the bruising, that I would be dead from the original wounds if not for her healing efforts. I made a mental note to express my sincere gratitude to her later and was about to get lost in thoughts of how lucky I was to be alive when Aimée touched me.

Her touch was soft and gentle, a strange contrast with the calluses of my own skin. This moment was awkward for both of us and as she set to work, cleaning me and my wounds, she tried to avoid looking at my… well my nether regions. As such we wound up making eye contact for almost the entire time, rarely speaking but so very close together as her hands worked their way over my body. Although I had spent more than my fair share of time wooing the ladies of the courts of the Realm, this medical care by a lady’s maid was the most intimate and tender moment I’ve ever experienced with another.

When she finally finished, we were both breathing hard, although neither of us had done anything even slightly exerting. Aimée was silent for a moment before asking, “Is there anything else you would care for tonight my lord?”

>>27705912
>thread about knights, dragons and princesses derailed by a maids story

4chan - a magical place

>>27705912
>Sexual tension rising.

Time for the reemergence of the dragon.

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Here's your shit picture.

As you can probably tell, I cannot into dragons.

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>Be lich due to botched alchemy in an attempt to become immortal
>Always wear heavy armor to conceal my lichiness
>Out at the market, buying supplies for my comrades and my alchemy
>"Sir Knight! Help!"
>Wizard runs up to me and tells me about how his daughter has been kidnapped by a dragon
>You're a wizard, why do you need my help?
>His daughter had been reading his spellbook at the time
>Sigh.
>Return to comrades, tell them about the dragon and how we should totally go slay it for loot
>They're not buying it and say it's way too dangerous
>In a moral dilemma because LG
>Damnit, I should've explained that I'm not a knight
>Go off on my own to find the wizard's daughter
>Manage to bullshit my way through the thoroughly-trapped dragon's lair
>Botch trying to sneak by the dragon due to armor
>Smuggest damn dragon in the world mocks my lack of reliable weapon and my cowardice
>Dragon uses its ice breath weapon and I barely scrape by due to my armor
>Throws my bag of potions into its mouth, I don't even give a damn
>Dragon gets fucked up by I don't even know what was in there
>Run over to rescue the maiden while the dragon uncontrollably vomits and screams
>Grabs the wizard's spellbook as an afterthought
>Return to the wizard
>Turns out the wizard and his daughter are evil and had their eye on me for quite a while, and engineered the whole thing
>Wizard demands I give him the recipe for lich-hood and marry his daughter or face the consequences
>FUCK.

>>27705963
Yup. Although it's more /tg/ being magical.

It has, however, rekindled my muse, which is always good.

>>27693404
> I just wanted someone to listen to my problems! Not try to solve them!

You must heroically invent the Internet, OP.

>>27705912
1) Bang maid, get caught by tsundre dragoness, die in glorious threesome of fire.

Or, play it cool.
>uronies that
Yes captch, I would uronies that so hard. SO, so hard.

>>27705963
Yeah, it's a shame about shit posters like that guy.

>>27705983
Dude, get out NOW. Wizards are serious trouble.

They go down real easy, though. Get something heavy, knock him out with a blow to the head. Take the daughter and spellbook as collateral.

And by the gods, get a decent horse. I know I keep banging on about horses, but seriously. Train them right, and they're worth more than their weight in enchanted magical items, fuck gold. They fetch things, they carry things, they bite people, they can detect evil (or at least mean-to-horses), and so forth.
Maybe my horse is just a polymorphed paladin or something, I dunno. It's a fucking bro, though.

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>>27705963
Sorry about that. I didn't mean to turn this into that kind of thread, but I lost control of the story.

>>27705970
>pic related

>>27705963
>>27706029

Hey, if everyone is tired of this story and its direction, I can stop. Just let me know what you think.

>>27706118
Keep going, it's nice to read.

>>27706118
FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD KEEP GOING!

>>27706118
I've no problem with it

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>>27706128
>>27706133
>>27706176

Alright then. Thanks for the feedback. Let me know what else you think about this.

>>27706455
Tottally keep going. Good read.

>>27700769
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRYNYb30nxU