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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1380942505963.png-(903 KB, 1541x1578, GBA0001.png)
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In the grim darkness of the present day, there is only war.

This is an universal truth, and one you are well aware of. In just one day, billions and billions of fighting men and women lose their life in the name of the Emperor, dying so that others might live. For many millenia, this has been just how things work, and any population that has come to live in the Imperium for long enough comes to accept this.

And yet, every once in a while, an aberrant individual rejects this universal constant and downright defies it. They know that the fighting might never end, and they know it necessary...but they reject to die and let others like them die. So they fight, and they survive...so that others may live to fight another day. Theirs is perhaps the most difficult of roads, as the sweet embrace of death, which would keep them safe from the horrors of the universe and further struggle, eludes them.

This is a duty they gladly accept.

This is a duty you gladly accept.

Your name is Joachim Joestar. You are one such individual. Your fate, tied to the mysterious 「Star-Shaped Birthmark」, which is said to be present only in the descendants of Saint Jonathan, is one that will change the order of things forever.

You are a being devoid of hate. You fight not out of hatred, but out of a desire to protect.

This is the most difficult path there is.

This is the only path there is.

And, even if you don't realize it yet, this is the 「Destiny of Your Blood」.

Joachim Joestar, under the Starlight, the curtain to your bizzare adventure opens.

And we are all watching.
>>
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>>27575910
>>
>>27575910
You have my attention, Jojo.
>>
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Aw yiss. I thought I missed it.
>>
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[Okay guys, sorry I'm a bit late, I got a bit hung up at work. For the record, brackets are GM speak! Let me establish the ground rules for this quest thread, since we managed to discuss character creation last time and not how the game is played.

Whenever a player decision must be done, it will be decided by rolling 1d100. Also, I will state a number, which I call a "Number Mode". This Number Mode will determine the amount of 'suggestion' posts valid for the future decision that will be made.

So for example, a decision has a "Number Mode 6". Those who want to suggest a course of action roll the d100, but only the first six posts are valid for consideration.

The Number Mode will be set by me in consideration of two factors: 1. the speed at which Joachim has to make the decision, and 2. the thread's speed.

To prevent samefagging, when it comes to similar suggestions, only the first suggestion's roll will be taken into consideration. It will, however, count towards the Number Mode tally.

I hope I'm not confusing anybody with this? Cause if I ain't, it's time to get this show on the road. But if you have any questions, shoot 'em before we begin.]
>>
>>27576036
Did you draw that picture yourself? Because it is fabulous.
>>
>>27576036
Got it, at least for the most part. Lets go be JoJo.
>>
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>>27575910
YES

YES
>>
>>27576072
That's game art from All Star Battle
>>
>>27576072

[Thread picture? Yeah, I did. Not Araki enough for my taste, but that's just my lack of skill.

I'll try to illustrate decisions to the best of my ability, of course, with quick scribbles. Some posts might be completely devoid of images, too, so keep your eyes open.

Gonna start the quest proper in eight minutes. Just gonna take the chance to ask you guys this: how would you feel if /tg/-original 40k characters were to be introduced?]
>>
>>27576134
As long as they aren't too out of place I guess.
>>
>>27576134
I'm completely okay with it, as long as you follow the rules and name them after rock bands of the 70's and 80's.
>>
>>27576134
Don't really follow 40k, but I follow JoJo so why the hell not?
>>
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>>27576134
Sure besides I'm certain they'll be mostly 'armless
>>
>>27576134
Just don't do it to much. We don't need every tau girl /tg/ has ever come up with showing up, after all.
>>
>>27575910

Show me what you've got, OP.
>>
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Carillion is the first planet, outside of your own, that you have ever set foot on. Pure white snow crunches beneath your combat boots as you walk around the frozen landscape, your breath visible in front of you.

Aren't you glad you brought the scarf your grandmother made for you?

Still, the landscape which under other circumstances would have proven to be a relaxing, peaceful winter wonderland was anything but.

The corpses of many of those who would have been your companions and comrades in the 2nd Stella Platina Autonomous Regiment, popularly known by your people as the「Battlers」, laid crumpled and distorted upon the endless white, their blood and guts painting the ground crimson.

The grisly visage made you a little sick in your stomach, and you felt immense sorrow for the fallen, but your orders were to do some reconnaissance of this sector of what was once a battlefield, and you were going to carry your orders to the letter.

They had definitely been caught by surprise, by the looks of it, and had paid dearly for it. As you approach the corpse of yet another Guardsman, indistinguishable from the rest, something catches your eye.

There was an axe...no...a 「Choppa」sticking out from his carcass.

[What to do now? Number Mode 6]
>>
Rolled 70

>>27576442

Inspect the Choppa.
>>
>>27576442
Take the choppa, and keep an eye out for its owner.
>>
Rolled 16

>>27576442
First things first, what is our equipment?

Secondly, look around and make sure you're not about to get jumped by a Cunningly Brutal Ork.
>>
>>27576442
Carefully approach and inspect said Choppa
>>
Rolled 58

>>27576442
Inspect Choppa.
>>
Rolled 4

>>27576442
Look around. Keep a bubble of air around you that has extreme levels of friction if possible. Hopefully these types of ambushes aren't a tendency for the battlers.
>>
Rolled 10

>>27576477
Damn, forgot the dice.
>>
Rolled 74

>>27576442
Take the「Choppa」
>>
Rolled 8

>>27576442

Let's be different. Begin by shedding a single manly tear for your fallen comrades. (then inspect the choppa)
>>
Rolled 43

>>27576514
Hardly. Jojo's a lion of a man, he can survive an ambush.
>>
Rolled 71

>>27576442
Close the guardman's eyes
>>
>>27576543
He didn't deserve this
>>
Also guys I have a feeling Za Warudo Eaters will be a lot more powerful than their canon (40k) counterparts.
>>
So many choppas everywhere.
>>
Rolled 18

What are all of you doing? The first response to this should alwaysy be
>Pose!
>>
>>27576552
Yes he may survive but he will likely be traumatized by the phantoms of the past and all the blood.
>>
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>>27576636
He was just a young boy.
He was just... a young boy!
"JOACHIM!"
>>
>>27576685
But even so, Jojo won't run. He's got balls of steel.
>>
>>27576693
(I really need to read/watch jojo)
>>
>>27576773
Yes and he shall crusade onwards til the very stars themselves are not but dust purging heresy upon a golden wind.
>>
>>27576774
Watch the 2012 anime for Parts 1 and 2, read the manga for the other parts, watch the OVAs for part 3 after you finish reading it if you want.

In that picture I posted, keep in mind they're doing that because they're very upset that a kid just died.
>>
>>27576832
Well of course
>>
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>>27576535

With a heavy grunt, you pull out the Choppa from the unfortunate Guardsman's body. The metal is covered by frost and, quite logically, by frozen blood along its edge as well.

The so-called Choppa is quite heavy, and you can understand how such primitive weapon could end a Guardsman's life easily by the brunt of its weight alone.

*Obtained 「Choppa」*

>>27576493

As you take the Choppa into your possession, you take a few moments to make mental notes about what you are currently carrying with you. Your equipment is quite standard for a Guardsman on the most part: your Lasrifle is slung over your shoulder, a Laspistol rests firmly within a holster on your back, you carry two frag grenades on the left side of your belt. You also have a canteen on you.

Your helmet is standard-issue for Battler Guardsmen, and contains a small Vox Relay (of course, your 'modifications' to said helmet are anything BUT Standard Issue). Your Flak Jacket, alongside your long scarf, keep you warm.

The most peculiar thing you are carrying by far is the 「Heart-Shaped Pendant」 your Grandmother insisted you took and always had with you. "This pendant", she said, "has always been carried by the firstborns of our family, JoJo. It will protect you from whatever you find out there, and if you have it with you, I know I won't lose you too."

[Decision Time! Number Mode 8]
>>
>>27576803
Can anyone here think of a Vento Aureo joke? Because I can't.
>>
Rolled 40

>>27576860
Mourn the guardsmen
VIA POSING
>>
Rolled 77

>>27576860
Ask our headstrong girl what she see.
>>
Rolled 70

>>27576860
Lament over your fallen allies and how they won't see their grandmothers and pose
>>
Rolled 87

>>27576881
Yes. This is belated. Also, rage against the Orks that killed him.
>>
Rolled 89

>>27576860
Report in with what we've scoutes so far, even if it's nothing.
>>
Rolled 34

>>27576860
Do a manly pose and think back to that time we cut ourselves on the amulet accidentally. Also where is not!hermes? After we are done with that call in what you found and scout on for more orcs to slay.
>>
>>27576860
Report back to your superiors what you've found and keep scouting around. If there are orks on the planet then you have a responsibility, as a Guardsman and a Gentleman, to root them out so no innocents are harmed.

With this in mind, were is settlement nearest to this massacre?
>>
Rolled 26

>>27576937
Dammit, roll.
>>
Rolled 10

>>27576860
How did we get here? Where must we go? What happened?
>>
Rolled 41

>>27576860

Sling the Choppa on your belt. Won't hurt to have an extra weapon on hand. Continue your lonely trek across the frozen field of bodies.
>>
Rolled 44

>>27576873
had integrated it into my last post. Had mentioned purging heresy on a Golden wind
>>
>>27577012
That's heresy
>>
Rolled 94

>>27577024

The Emperor may be all-seeing, but he hasn't seen fit to interfere with us so far. Besides, it's not just a weapon. It's a vital piece of evidence.
>>
>>27577012
Using alien weaponry over imperial equipment is ultra heresy.
>>
>>27577058
>>27577058
The Emperor has better things to do than to watch random guardsmen picking up random shit from the ground.

However, you are a nobleman, you're supposed to set an example. How will it look like when those of noble birth are taking sloppy seconds from orks?
>>
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>>27576906

As far as you can see, there is nothing else of interest in this area. There seems to be no signs of either survivors nor further evidence.

So, knowing that, you decide to call in to your squad's sergeant, a man of impressive stature and reliable strength called Dominic Bluemarine, and report your findings.

"So far, it's corpses as far as the eye can see...and on one of the corpses, I found what appears to be an Ork Choppa.", you report.

"Well, that just confirms that this was indeed the result of an Ork attack.", replies Bluemarine. "We should probably regroup with the rest of the Imperial forces. There are a few Chimeras waiting at the rendezvous point. I'll report back to the CO. It'd be best if you started your way here, though."

Nodding to nobody in particular, you take one last look of the wasteland of death and wanton destruction behind you, before you start traveling towards the rendezvous point.
>>
Rolled 99

>>27577286

Exposit a bit as you trek. The lonely wastes do little for the mind's health; talking to yourself might take a bit of the edge off.

Also pose before you leave, in memory of your fallen brethren.
>>
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>>27577391

[I wouldn't normally take into consideration a roll made for a non-decision situation, but DAT 99]

As you leave, you salute your fallen comrades in the only way you know: by striking one of the many traditional salutes of your people.

May they live forever at the side of the immortal Emperor.

Once you are finished, you commence your trek proper. As you travel the white wastes, you think back on your days in your planet of Stella Platina, and how it was to grow up in such a place.

There, group of small, lowborn children bullied the "weak" individuals. Often, you would get into fights because you could not stand for this...and while this did get you a bloody nose more than once, it also made those children respect you dearly. Thanks to your positive influence in their lives (although you would never claim such credit, they do insist this is the case), many of them are fine Imperial citizens today. Several even came to bid you farewell as you boarded the Imperial Navy shuttle towards your new future.

A smile creeps on your lips. You knew that most of the Guardsmen, once they leave their planet, can never return, but you are not most Guardsmen. By the Emperor, would see Stella Platina again.

[Captcha: gightss emperor
God dammmmmnnn.

Give me a sec to make the next post you guys]
>>
I'm off for the night 1am where I am. Bye guys.
>>
Rolled 19

>>27577528
>>
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>>27577528

When you arrive at the rendezvous point, you see several Guardsman chatting as well as others running around, doing different errands and whatnot. You could distinguish that one was helping a Techpriest which was dealing with some maintenance on the Chimera transports.

As you approach a group of fellow Guardsmen in search of your squad proper, someone catches your eye (and you catch theirs).
>>
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>>27577656
OGRYNS?!?! AAARHH!
>>
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A man you've never seen before with a large, ornate hat wearing a heavy longcoat glares as you, his gaze so hot you could swear he was trying to set you on fire just by looking at you. Near him stands a much darker-skinned individual...from the looks of the few tubes jutting out from his head, and the bird-tipped staff he carries, you conclude you are looking at both a 「Commisar」and a 「Psyker」.

And by the looks of it, you've drawn the Comissar's attention. He prances towards you, like a predator stalking prey, and stands face to face with you.

"GUARDSMAN!!" he shouts, loud enough for half the encampment to see. "WHAT IS IT WITH YOUR DRESS CODE VIOLATIONS!? I SHOULD HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THIS!!" His roar would make lions jealous, but you're made of sterner stuff than this. You are not intimidated by this officer, although you do respect his position as a servant of the Emperor.

[Decision. Number Mode 8]
>>
Rolled 46

>>27577745
pose and explain
>>
Rolled 51

>>27577745

...Prances. Prances. Prances.

A commissar prancing. Okay.

Too bad we're a peaceful kind of guy. Ask the commissar what's wrong with our codex-perfect uniform (well, aside from the helmet mods).
>>
Rolled 87

>>27577766
POSE AND EXPLAIN
>>
Rolled 61

>>27577766
>>27577791
This man has the right idea.
>>
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Rolled 45

>>27577791
Pose you say?

This was too good to pass up on.
>>
Rolled 64

>>27577766
[test]

Pose and explain
>>
>>27577813

[SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEET]
>>
Rolled 3

>>27577766
Explain that this scarf has never hampered your service to he Emperor in any way, and if it ever gets you killed then it is clearly his will that it do so.
>>
Rolled 87

>>27577766
Pose
"If such is the will of the emperor, then you need only to ask Commissar."
>>
>>27577813
Well it certainly didn't take long for fanart to start popping up. This is a good sign.
>>
>>27577838
>>27577934
He's a regular in Super Stand Sunday threads. More than half the original art is his.

Frankly, I saw this coming.
>>
W8, are we going to be homo erotically punching Orks?

Because if so, do continue OP.
>>
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>>27577861
>>27577791

[MERGING THIS SHIT]

"Lord Commissar, sir!" you reply as you take a pose. "This was a gift from my grandmother, hand-sewn to keep me warm in this cold planet while I brought the light of the Emperor to its lands! Additionally, these sigils on my helmet are traditional to my people! However, if the will of the Emperor is such that I should not wear this item, then you only need ask, Commissar!"

"Hah!" retorts the Commissar. "Yes, I won't have your head for this, Guardsman. Also, keep the gaudy cloth. That way I can make you use of a buffoon like you. You're perfect for drawing enemy fire away from the useful troopers!" his scorn and disdain were clear as crystal. "I've heard of you, Joestar. I'll be behind your squad, so you better show me some grandiose shooting lest I deem it necessary to subject you to the Emperor's deliverance next time we meet!" With that, the Commissar walks away, probably to demean yet another Guardsman.

What a rude fellow. You had heard things of Commissars before, but never really thought any of them true. Now though...the tales might have some truth to them.

You notice the Psyker is staring at you intently. You have never met a Psyker personally before, but you know other Guardsmen are scared of them. Perhaps you should go talk to him?

[Decision Time. Number Mode 7]
>>
>>27578031
>JoJo
>homoerotic anything
Is this pillarnigga serious?
>>
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>>27577838
>>27577934
>>27577979
You're welcome gents.

>>27578084
POSE at the Psyker.
>>
Rolled 28

>>27578084

Engage the psyker in a deathglare match. WHILE POSING.
>>
>>27578089
Have of these characters I'm seeing would fit in well with Pri Pri Prisoner.
>>
>>27578084
I wonder why that psyker is staring at us.

Lets talk to him.
>>
Rolled 33

>>27578084
"Hello. I am Joachim Joestar, a pleasure to make your acquaintance Mr...."

>>27578089
He said, referencing the most homoerotic Part.
>>
>>27578115
We don't need to say we pose at everything. We are a Jojo, posing is our default state.
>>
Rolled 93

>>27578173

How about this then: we drop our pose in the face of the psyker's unnerving stare.
>>
Rolled 49

>>27578084
Walk to the psyker, strike a pose and introduce yourself.
>>
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>>27578188
Dammit.
>>
>>27578207
ehh?
>>
>>27578188
Yes! We walk up to him and keep striking poses until we get a reaction out of him.
>>
>>27578245
>he explodes not into demons, but into pure fabulousness
>>
>>27578224
Sounds like we are losing the pose due to the Psyker's stare. Either that, or I read it wrong and it was supposed to be >>27578245.

>We POSEquest now. Did we really think it was going to be anything different?
>>
>in the grimdarkness of the grim dark future, there is only fabulousness.
>>
>>27578266
There must be SUBSTANCE to poses! You don't just pose for no fucking reason! Every pose has PURPOSE and MEANING behind it. You don't throw shit out willy-nilly expecting it to stick.
>>
Rolled 53

If we want to get a rise out of the psyker, we're going to need to orate at him while striking our POSE.

"Fellow servant of the Emperor! *POSE* It is an honor to meet you! *POSE* Is the ice not particularly brilliant today? *POSE*POSE*POSE*"
>>
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DO YOU EVEN POSE WARPBRAIN?
>>
I just realized
most of the actions will be posing
>>
>>27578287
I'm thinking it needs a couple of poses before we start talking as well.
>>
>>27578287
Why did we suddenly turn into Jonny Bravo?
>>
>>27578320
That's what this is starting to become: a parody.
>>
Rolled 40

>>27578314

What is any narrative but a series of snapshots of actions? What is a snapshot but a still? What is a still action but a POSE?
>>
>>27578314
How did you think stands were powered in the first place if not by increasingly fabulous poses?
>>
>>27578333
>in b4 we end up fighting a greater demon prince DIO at the end of this mess.
>>
>>27578298
This is the perfect example. This is how Joseph and Cesar expressed their grief and OUTRAGE at Marks sad fate.

That's the sort of situation we say we pose for, and that kicks us up into Overpose.
>>
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>>27578298
Goodness anon. It's like you didn't listen to >>27578286.

>>27578330
I think either the OP gave up or is seriously trying to make sense of all this unnecessary POSING.
>>
>>27578339
Pose and cook food
Pose and purge heretics
Pose and shove the choppa up the ork's rectum
also orks with stands
is such a thing possible
>>
Rolled 85

>>27578356

Well yknow, gestalt field and all that, all orks are at least minorly psychic...
>>
>>27578351
>AWAKEN
>>
>>27578356
Stands are supercharged ESP with wacky abilities powered by sheer will. If Orks can't have them, then I don't see how anyone else can.
>>
STOP IT YOU FOOLS!
Every Pose you make sends ripples in the warp, do you want to repeat the mistakes of the Eldar?
>>
>>27578376
>Ork WAAAAAGH
>just one giant Stand in the air above the entire army
>'Ey, it's Gork!
>Nah, ya git, dat's Mork!
>>
>>27578396
The chaos god of Fabulousness
>>
>>27578397
and then orks fight with eachother
>>
>>27578411
>GORKAGORKAGORKAGORKAGORKAGORKAGORKAGORKAGORKAGORKAGORKAGORKA
>MORKAMORKAMORKAMORKAMORKAMORKAMORKAMORKAMORKAMORKAMORKAMORKA
>>
Wh40k: Trivia
The only way to reach Stella Platina is to leave outside the influence of the Astronomican beacon and follow the sound of flexing muscles.

Only the most experienced navigators can leave Stella Platina, for not all can divine their position in the warp based on sound of flexing muscles alone.
>>
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>>27578188

The dark-skinned Psyker just keeps staring at you, as if his mind is not really there.

If just for a moment, he seemed familiar, but you swiftly shook it off. You had never seen this man before in your life.

"You...I see something within you.", he then says out of the blue, catching you off guard.

[D.T. Number Mode 4]
>>
Rolled 42

>>27578497
What is that good sir?
>>
>>27578376
>implying the orks collective stand isn't the entirety of 40k
>implying this isn't actually what happens when a mass of warhammer fantasy orks finally got together.
>>
Rolled 43

>>27578497
And what would that be, my friend?
>>
>>27578484
You're thinking of Flex Mentallo. Also, Giorno and his posse are kinda spindly. The JoJos who actually did their own fighting (Jonathan and Joseph) had an excuse for being as huge as they were. When you've got a Stand to fight with you, you don't have to worry about yourself so much. Hell, Johnny was a cripple.
>>
>>27578509
That... that makes too much sense.
>>
Rolled 61

>>27578497
*hold out hand for handshake*
>>
Rolled 5

>>27578497

Approach warily. "What is it that you see, Psyker?"
>>
>>27578527
and now you know, all orkz are warhammer fantasy orkz who went full jojo's who basically made a stand that became 40k called gorkamorka
>>
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>>27578550

The Psyker actually recoils a bit when he sees you outstretch your hand, but soon that is replaced by one of the most genuine smiles you have ever seen.

"Thank you...a common man would have never offered his hand in friendship to someone like me, a Psyker, but you did. I knew from the start you were not like the rest, but I didn't realize you were this far away from the norm."

"My name is Rahman Akon. It is a pleasure to meet you, Joachim Joestar." His palm meets yours as you share the handshake.

[D.T. NM 4]
>>
Rolled 100

>>27578692

Shake his hand firmly and confidently. "Friendship is the norm where I come from, Rahman. I don't know how it is in the rest of the galaxy, but on Stella Platina, you would be welcomed like any other man. It's a pleasure to meet you."
>>
Rolled 65

>>27578692
"Pleasure to meet you too Abdul"
Yes, it's horribly racist.
>>
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>>27578732
I presume we get a reaction like this?
>>
Well shit that was unexpected.

OP, you want to implement the "BLESSED BY CHAOS" rules used in AbaddonQuest? Perhaps any action that gets a 100 is blessed by an OVERPOSE, exponentially multiplying its effectiveness.
>>
>>27578732
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybZ159U-MMc
>>
>>27578751
Yes
>>
OVERDRIVE POSE OF FRIENDSHIP
>>
>>27578732
yup
this is a proper Jojo quest, we gonna crit like a bitch and everything is gonna go nutty.
>>
>>27578802
A Jonathan based Jojo will always crit on friendship.
>>
>>27578796

The solution is clearly a POSE DUET.
"You shake hands firmly with Rahman, and almost unconsciously, you strike a POSE together while clasping hands. You part, but the feeling of fellowship does not leave; truly, a bond has been forged today between MEN, that shall not be broken save by death or Ragnarok."
>>
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>>27578732

"Stella...Platina... somehow, that name brings back memories."

You feel a jolt pass through him and you, as if you two were a sort of conduit. A sensation that bizarre surprises you, but you soon come to accept it.

In your vision, you see a bird of fire standing besides Rahman, and...for a second, Rahman isn't there, and is replaced with another man that looks familiar, but not quite...

As soon as it came, this mirage is gone, and there is Rahman, smile still in his face, but his eyes seemingly perplexed.

"In any case..you are Joachim Joestar, right? I'm sure that despite what Commissar Hayes thinks, you'll prove to be a fine Guardsman."

[DT NM4]
>>
>>27578915

ORK AMBUSH. TIME TO PROVE RAHMAN RIGHT.
>>
Rolled 56

>>27578948

Whoops, adding my dice.
>>
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>>27578115
For what it's worth, I still have the old word document of your Managrafik idea.
>>27578915
JIGOKU WO
KISAMA NI
HELL2U

>ltoweib ramus
This has to be a coincidence.
>>
Rolled 63

>>27578915
"Thank you, Rahman. I hope to prove your words right... if you don't mind me asking, where do you hail from?"
>>
Rolled 3

>>27578915
TIME TO SLAY SOME ORKS

WWII JOSEPH ADVENTURE AGAINST JAPS
>>
Rolled 95

>>27578915
Now what is there to do around here
>>
Rolled 87

>>27578915
TIME TO SLAY ORKS!
>>
Rolled 94

>>27578915
"Thank you, I do not wish to let my ancestry down"
>>
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Rolled 99

>>27579032
>>
>>27579063
OH MY GOD
>>
>>27579063
>>27579063
>>
So this is why the dice during Homeless Mutant Quest was getting constant critfails...
>>
>>27579106
THAT JOESTAR LUCK

LUCK AND PLUCK
>>
>>27579063
I don't know what we're reacting to, but this is what we have to say now
>>
>>27579124
We just had a vision created through pure insta-friendship with a psyker. Is that something we don't want to report to our superiors?
>>
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>>27579032

"Well, big guy, we could FINALLY get our asses in the Chimeras now that the Techpriests have finished working on them."

The voice that comes from behind you is all too familiar.

"Mercuria!" you call out.

"That's my name, don't dull it. So I heard all about how you met our friendly neighborhood Commissar?"

"For a servant of the Emperor, he is rather crass."

"I get you. I also see you met a Psyker?" Mercuria walks towards Rahman and pats his shoulder, surprising the Psyker. "Name's Mercuria Costello and I know how this guy likes to pick up strays like you and me. Welcome to the club, buddy."

After an exchange of introduction formalities, your little party boards one of the Chimeras, alongside several other Guardsman, who warily eye the Psyker, the ex-con, and the weirdo with the huge scarf.

You are sitting onboard a Chimera in transit. Mercuria and Rahman are both sitting next to you. What do you do?
[DT. NM5]
>>
Rolled 87

>>27579195

Self-exposit a bit about Mercuria, your old friend from Stella Platina. Strike a thoughtful pose while doing so.
>>
Rolled 11

>>27579195
You guys wanna trade life stories as we hunt for orks?
>>
>>27579195

Also
"A psyker, an ex-con, and a weirdo in a scarf are all sitting in a chimera..."
>>
Rolled 43

>>27579195
Self exposit time bitches
>>
Rolled 17

>>27579195
Let us talk with our new friend about our, Mercury, and his past. Maybe we will get some info on why we just saw a fiery ultra chicken that way.
>>
>>27579195
>Mercuria Costello

Clever Clever Jojo.
>>
>>27579245
>dis fucking guy and his rolls
jesus christ.
>>
Rolled 28

>>27579195
Sounds like exposition time.

[side note, when did every roll try to be a pose? I had to leave just after our jojo got chewed out]
>>
Funfact: I had the 99 up there as well.

THE POSE IS WITH ME TODAY.
>>
>>27579498

'Round about then. We POSED for the Prancing Commissar. He was impressed by our FABULOUS pose and decided to let us off the hook. POSING is now our default solution for things, at least until we learn the STORM OF PUNCHES ability.
>>
>>27579524
Hey, storm of punches isn't an ability. It our reward for getting around our opponents ability.
>>
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>>27579245

Mercuria Costello is far from being the ideal Guardswoman. In fact, the only reason she became a combatant was because she was given a choice of whether to join the PDF or be shipped to a Penal World for minor heresy she swears she didn't commit. While Mercuria has always been one to 'raise hell', as she says, I am inclined to believe her when she says she's innocent. She is probably the most honest person I know.

Back in our PDF days, she was distant from everybody, and seemed to particularly dislike me. She is, after all, a woman from the slums, and I am one who had received everything in my life from a 'silver platter'. We, however, became inseparable friends with time, as she became aware that I was not defined by my heritage, but rather, by my own actions.

The fact that she decided to volunteer for the Planetary Tithe when she heard I was going to join the Imperial Guard also leads me to believe she is the most loyal person I've ever met, too.

"JoJo, you're the one that makes the PDF fun, and I have to serve whether I want it or not. So I'd say it's better for me to tail you to wherever in the Emperor's name you're going to go from here, as the PDF will become mind-numbingly boring once you're gone."

That's Mercuria for you.

[DT NM 3]
>>
Rolled 35

>>27579695
Try to raise morale
>>
Rolled 24

>>27579695
Play chopsticks.
>>
Rolled 14

>>27579695
Continued inner monologue about backstory

Also consider personal feelings for Mercuria and how romance must never ruin your precious friendship
>>
Rolled 17

>>27579695

I like her, OP.

But I think we need to see more of how much of a badass she is - how badass all of us are.

ORKS AMBUSH THE CONVOY. TAKE ARMS, GUARDSMEN.
>>
Rolled 74

>>27579695
Ask about our new friend. Try to fish for info about ancestors, but don't mention the vision. That could be considered heresy.
>>
Rolled 42

Damn, I was too slow. Oh well., bad roll anyway.
>>
>>27579740

Not so! It was a vision from the EMPRAH.
>>
Gonna have a weird boy or a cunning komando as antagonist?
>>
>>27579759
So that means the Emprah is aware of stands (and perhaps even the Ripple). Do you think he has one?
>>
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>>27579720

You notice the Guardsmen outside of your two friends are extremely nervous and apprehensive.

You decide to open your mouth to speak, but...

At that moment, a piercing cry breaks through the silence. "ROKKITS!!!"

An impact. The Chimera is tumbling. A piece of metal hits your helmet. You black out. However, your strong body recovers quickly, and you reopen your eyes in less than five minutes.

And when you open them, you see...

[Hey guys, I'm gonna catch some zzz's real quick and come back to this Bizarre Adventure, alright? Like, around 9 AM CST or so. If this thread 404's, I'll just make a new one. Otherwise, I'll post right here. Anyways, night folks, see you early-ish tomorrow.]
>>
>>27579829

God damn it OP. Well, I have to sleep too. Bookmarking thread. I'd better see you tomorrow.
>>
>>27579829
OK
TIME TO ARCHIVE
>>
>>27579829
Here's some ending music for chapter 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Tdu4uKSZ3M
>>
>>27579849
any ideas for the description?
>>
>>27579885
So I archived it to make sure it would be archived and not slip away
>>
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>>27578990
You did? Squee!

>>27579829
Fantastic quest so far. Hope that we can pepper in some PUNCH with our POSE next episode.
>>
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Anyone mind if I bump with JoJo pics?
>>
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>>
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>>27582662

Hell no, go ahead.
>>
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>>27583036
>>27582662
Hell yeah, motherfuckers!
>>
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>>
>>27579789
The Astronomicon is the Emprah's Stand.
>>
>>27578444
>Ork ORARARARA
>not DAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKADAKKA
>>
>>27578692
>Rahman Akon
>Akon
The music references start early, I see
>>
>>27578915
>In your vision, you see a bird of fire standing besides Rahman, and...for a second, Rahman isn't there, and is replaced with another man that looks familiar, but not quite...
We reincarnation now?
>>
>>27579695
tsundere eh?
>>
>>27583527
They've always been there
>>
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>>
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>>
[Shit guys, I overslept. Is this thread still good, or should I make another one? Regardless, GET READY.]
>>
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>>27584708
>>
>>27584708
More, please and thank you.
>>
>>27584708
still here bro
>>
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When you open your eyes, all you see is pure gold. No objects, no anything..it was as if someone had covered your eyes with paint.

Only.
Pure.
Gold.

And then, you see something getting closer. A silhouette. It towers above you as you lay flat on your back.

"Joachim Joestar." It speaks.

"This is a message from me to you, using my power of 「Guiding Light」."

Is this...

"Listen carefully, Joachim. Yours is a different mission than the rest of my Guardsmen.

...MY Guardsmen?

"I need you to get to go to the 「Bohemia Tower」that is located in this planet. Once you reach the top, I will contact you again."

The Emperor? Is this a trick from Chaos?!

"I can send you this message because your power, similar to my 「Guiding Light」, is about to awaken, but that's all this is. A recording. We will speak proper once you reach the tower."

"And one last thing" the silhouette says. "Awaken your power fully by cutting yourself with your 「Pendant」. Awaken your soul, and your 「Destiny」!"

With those words, the world fades to white....and then your vision focuses once again.

You lay inside the wreck of a Chimera. The sound of Las-weapons reach your ears. What do you do?

[DT NM 5]
>>
Rolled 46

>>27585069
Get up, gather gear, see what's up
>>
Rolled 44

>>27585069
Investigate.

Also, we probably should cut our hand with our pendant.

And pose
>>
Rolled 83

>>27585088
This, but adding "Shoot the nearest thing that is attacking our fellow guardsmen."
>>
I suggest we fight properly, as JoJo and a Guardsman.

That would be, when appropriate, charge. Firing your lasgun on overcharge while keeping your Choppa raised with the other. Switch to Choppa when in melee, or use both.
>>
>>27585069
Get ready for combat.

>>27585138
We should hold that off until it's dramatically apropriate.
>>
Rolled 89

>>27585069
Cut ourselves with the pendant. We can do a fighting style once we realize what it does.
>>
Rolled 13

>>27585069
>>27585138
Making sure of the current situation is more important than starting to stab ourself. Let's save the posing for later as well. Preparing for combat is also wise.

SONO CHI NO SADAMEEEEE
>>
>>27585185

You put your right hand around the pendant, and then...you squeeze, harder than you ever had.

The pendant cuts into your skin, through your glove, and a little blood trickles over your palm.

You feel different, very different, but don't know how quite different. A bit lightheaded, too.

You release the pendant. Now what's there to do?

[DT NM4]
>>
>>27585259

Prepare for battle.
>>
Rolled 100

>>27585259
Get out of the wreckage and engage the nearest Ork in fabulous fisticuffs.
>>
>>27585296

THAT'S A 100, OP

OVERPOSE TIME
>>
>>27585069
Holy crap, the ⸢Astronomicon⸥ is the Emperor's Stand! It's the ⸢Guiding Light⸥ for all of the Imperium! I don't ⸢know⸥ what I'm ⸢doing⸥ ⸢with⸥ ⸢these⸥ ⸢brackets!⸥
>>
Rolled 22

>>27585259
Charge out. Blast the furthest ork with a lasgun on the highest setting. Swing the Choppa at the nearest Ork.

When we find the biggest Ork, pull the pin on a grenade and shove it down its throat.
>>
>>27585296
God damn will this quest be awesome.
>>
Yknow, I have to wonder what'll happen when our JoJo meets up with the Spehss Mahreens. Do smurfs POSE?
>>
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>>27585296
inb4 dick commissar
>>
>>27585349
They do in jojo quest.
>>
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>>27585296
>>
Rolled 41

>>27585296
Welp, let's whup some ass.
>>
>>27585296
Jiminy christmas.
>"Oi, why's you standin' loik dat, ya git?"
>"This is the sacred ⸢Pose of Combat⸥, performed in the moments before combat to demonstrate my ⸢pluck!⸥"
>"Yeah, well, dat pose ain't ⸢Orky⸥ enuff! Lookit ⸢dis!⸥"
>"Guh! Th-that ⸢Pose!⸥ It... it rivals my own!"

MEANWHILE:
>"What the hell is that Guardsman doing?"
>"He seems to be... it looks like he's got a cramp, Commissar."
>"And that Ork?"
>"Attempting to bend over backwards, I believe."
>"Shoot both of them."
>>
>>27585296
OH MY GOD!

captcha:his Yestth
>>
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>>27585296
>>
>>27585296
ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAROAORAOARORAORAORA! ORA!
>>
>>27585400
ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA
>>
Rolled 6

>>27585296
ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAROAORAOARORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAROAORAOARORAORAORA!
>>
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>>27585296
>>
>>27585296
⸢pluck⸥!
>>
>>27585359
...Dreadnaughts.
>>
>>27585554
JoJo quest. Everything will pose.
>>
>>27585359
I doubt it. I'm fairly confident this is standard 40kverse, barring things from Platina.
>>
I now possess a sudden desire to have the hallelejula chorus redone with OraOra.
>>27585349
The real question is not what does pose in this quest. It is what does not pose. The answer my friend is nothing does not pose. Even atoms themselves pose together in order to form molecules in jojoverse. What shall be truly frightening is when entire Tyranid hives all pose simultaneously together.
>>
Rolled 56

>>27585606
>entire Tyranid hives all pose simultaneously together
FUND IT!
>>
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>>27585069

You hear an oncoming roar.

"WAAAAAAAAAAGH!!"

As if driven by that new feeling within you, you courageously leap out of the Chimera's wreckage!

You see it! One of the foul beasts you've heard so much about! An Ork!

Channeling all of the indignation and range you feel for your fallen comrades, you let out a warcry of your own! One of the traditional ones of your homeland of Stella Platina!

"ORA!"

Without even thinking, your fist connects with its foul jaw.

Before you can even do the followup battle cry, you notice the Ork is out cold. Strange, considering you had heard many things about their prodigious physical strength.

You even knocked out some teef.

As you focus back on your surroundings, you see dozens of Guardsmen on cover...and you see Mercuria and Rahman near you, apparently in position to defend the wreckage you were just in.

Their faces just show plain shock.

Nearby, Commissar Hayes stopped what he was doing, glaring at you with a blank expression.

You impressed the man.

Even Hayes is impressed!

Now, Guardsman, there is no time to lose! Certainly more foul Orks are on their way towards you! What do you do?!

[DT NM 5]
>>
>>27585595
The fab will spread for the fab is strong
>>
Rolled 75

>>27585626
Focus on the feeling you had when you cut yourself with the medallion.
>>
Rolled 48

>>27585626
pose while praising the Emperor
>>
>>27585626
Strike a FABULOUS POSE
then start punching Orks
>>
Rolled

>>27585626
Are all the Orkz far away? If so, get in cover and shoot. Then we charge when they get close enough.

We dont want to lose fire support, after all.
>>
Rolled 13

>>27585626
Strike a 「Pose」. Engage the next Ork in fisticuffs!
>>
Rolled 53

>>27585667
The hell? I rolled a 1d100. Oh, it was 00. Rerolling.

If Orkz are close, punch/use choppa.
>>
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>>27585626
that pic. a masterpiece.
>>
Rolled 93

>>27585626
Pose, then punch Orks.
>>
Rolled 86

>>27585626
Now is truly the time for posing. Let's pose to our heart contents and see if we feel anything different after the whole medallion incident.
>>
Rolled 47

>>27585626
Is this what the strange feeling from the medallion did to us?
Strike a FABULOUS pose
then start punching Orks
>>
Rolled 75

>>27585626
Use our manly strength to upright the Chimera, so guardsmen can man the cannon
>>
Rolled 88

>>27585626
You heard the Commissar earlier. With you having just punched out an Ork, you've proven you're the toughest guy here. They're gonna go crazy trying to fight you.

And if they're focusing on you, they're less of a threat to your fellows. Draw fire!
>>
>>27585737
I have a feeling that we may end this day a few inches taller than when we started it.Also the Atlantic has a bit of water in it.
>>
>>27585707
Simple and effective.
>>
>>27585626
>Even Hayes is impressed!
He Speedwagon now
>>
Rolled 56

begin the resounding ORA cry that will draw the warboss into combat with you to scatter the ork forces permanently.
>>
Rolled 80

>>27585626

Think of a way to trick the foul xenos
>>
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>>27585707

You soon find yourself surrounded by more Orks.

Any other Guardsman would have lost all hope at this time, but again, you are not any other Guardsman.

You strike a combat stance. The orks get closer, circling at you.

One lunges with a Choppa, and his face soon meets the back of your hand...it fractures his skull, sending him tumbling backwards and out of the battle.

Your fists, quick as a Heavy Bolter, pelt two more, who are soon out of combat as well, their monstrous faces beaten into a bloody pulp.

Deafening sound fills the air, and you deftly evade incoming Shoota fire. They are, of course, not terribly accurate, but highly dangerous.

You approach the Ork.

"Allow me to return this to their proper owners!" You yell, as you unclip the Choppa latched to your belt and cleave it into the Shoota Boy's chest.

"This is the will of that fallen Guardsman! Even in death, he still serves! Even in death, he still slays Orkz!" you monologue, your posture a final salute to the Guardsmen who met their grisly end in the ambush.

[DT NM 3]
>>
Rolled 67

>>27586146
ORA

And pose
>>
Rolled 61

>>27586146
ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA
>>
Rolled 67

>>27586146
Use the force! The force of friction!
>>
Rolled 17

>>27586146

Try to bluff the orks into fighting you one at a time
>>
Rolled

>>27586146
Throw a grenade at the densest gathering of Orkz. Charge the rest.
>>
Rolled 95

>>27586216
Son of a bitch. I keep forgetting the one.
>>
Rolled 88

>>27586146
ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA
>>
Rolled 12

>>27586146
ORAORAORAORAORAORA
>>
Rolled 79

>>27586146
Charge the nearest Orkz, emptying our lasgun chargepack on the way. Use fisticuffs and the occasional kick to throw them off
>>
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>>27586209
>>27586165
Let the ORA loose.
>>
>>27586146
Joachim just beat five Orks in hand to hand combat without taking a scratch.

This... is going to be hard to top.
>>
>>27586413
i am sure he wont have trouble finding 6 orkz. i dont see how it'll be hard to top.
>>
Rolled 23

>>27586146

Return to Mercuria and Rahman. Time for some tag-team Ork-slaughter.
>>
Wheres OP?
>>
Rolled 17

>>27586591
Drawing.
>>
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>>27586165
>>27586209
As you attack, you feel uncontrollable power surging within you.

Soon, a metallic fist finds its way out of your chest. You gasp in surprise, thinking for a split second that maybe you had just given in to Chaos.

But all that subsides immediately, as you realize this power feels right.

'Out' of you comes a humanoid-machine construct, floating in place like a sort of ghost.

You will it to hit the Shoota Boy, and it does.

You will it to do it again.
And it does.
And again.
And it does.
And again.
And it does.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And it does.
And it does.
And it does.
And it does.
And it does.

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA....ORAAAAAAAA!!" Both you and the ephemeral spirit shout.

The flurry of the humanoid's blows eaves the Shoota Boy out cold. As it floats in front of you, you take a good look at it. It's wearing a helmet, but not a Guard's helmet like yours. Instead, it looks more like a safety helmet for civilian vehicle operation. Its eyes are obscured by what appears to be a pair of goggles. Its body is of a metallic sheen with red accents, with a long, thick cable resting on top of the clavicle, traveling towards the helmet over where the Sternocleoidmasteoid muscle would in a regular human. Its body was filled with what appeared to be doll-like joints.

The letters "LR" were emblazoned at the center of the helmet.

You knew this construct's name.

"「Low Rider」..." You softly mutter, as if whispering the name of an old friend.

You look back at where your companions are. They are trying to fend off the incoming Ork assault from the other flank, or at least most of them are.

Rahman is paralyzed, looking at you with wide, saucer-like eyes. Mercuria keeps shooting at the oncoming foes.

What to do now?

[DT NM4]
>>
>>27586437
I'm pretty sure at the end of this the Imperium will have huge internal conflict between space marine chapters regarding who gets to make our homeplanet into their recruiting world.
>>
Rolled 42

>>27586718
Aid our friends as a gentleman
>>
Rolled 55

>>27586744
What if we eventually get to make our own chapter?
>>
Rolled 41

>>27586718
Empty laschargepacks as we our way, then punch out some Orkz with Lowrider.
>>
>>27586718
Maximum friction, glue the orks to the ground.
>>
Rolled 65

>>27586770
Forgot the roll.
>>
Rolled 45

>>27586718
Friction. Friction some grenades at them.

No.

Wait.

Friction the ORKZ WEAPONS INTO THEIR HEADS
>>
>>27586760
Ignore that roll
>>
Rolled 20

>>27586718
Slide to our comrades with a dramatic pose and ORAAAAAAAA
>>
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>>27586784
Get out of my head anon! Though I have to add our new stand to the pic.
>>
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>>27586770
>>27586775

You attempt to analyze Low Rider's abilities. After all, if the power used to communicate with you while you were out cold is similar to Low Rider's....LR has to have some sort of skill, right?

[LOW RIDER

Destructive Power: B
Speed: A
Range: E (2m)
Durability: C
Precision: B
Development Potential: A

ABILITIES:

Touch and Go: Any "object" that comes into contact with one of Low Rider's limbs can have its "coefficient of friction" with all objects changed at will.

Domino Theory: Low Rider's "Touch and Go" can affect any object at a distance so long as there is a "path of objects" for T&G to follow.

Look at the diagram. Since Low Rider is in contact with "Object 1", it can change the friction of "Object 4" without affecting Object 1, 2 or 3. This does not work by using the 'ground' or 'air' as an "object" conduit.]

In a surprising moment of clarity, you realize Low Rider can control 「Friction」. For a moment, you wish you could use that power on distant Orks, but they are far away from you in order to use Low Rider's power on them.

Time for a new plan, you guess.

[DT NM 5]
>>
>>27586836

[SHIT TOO MUCH AWESOME]
>>
Rolled 5

>>27586970
Reduce your friction with the ground and the air and Hammerslide over to your friends.
>>
Rolled 23

>>27587005
This.

Followed by frictioning the enemy Ork weapons into their owners or far away. Empty our lasgun, then PUNCH AND KICK. Jump and kick the biggest Ork.


>>27586970
>>
Rolled 89

>>27586970
Increase friction of your shoes to get speed and then remove friction to slide to your comrades and commence punching orks.
>>
Rolled 23

>>27586970

Obviously we should use the connection:

Lasgun->Lasbeam->Ork

To do very strange things to them with wild changes to their friction.
>>
Rolled 19

>>27586970
Do some flashy friction stuff.

Use our lasgun and laspistol as drones/fin funnels.

FRICTION KICK into the nearest Ork, punch with LR
>>
Rolled 29

>>27587042
Not sure if Lasbeam counts as it's not necessarily a solid object.
>>
Rolled 85

>>27586970
DO not accidentally STAB AN ORK WITH THE PENDANT.
>>
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>>27587028

You have Low Rider touch your boots, increasing their friction.

You get a running start.

Soon enough, you order Low Rider to touch them once again, sliding on the snow as if it were slippery solid ice.

As you approach the sandbags Rahman and Mercuria are taking cover in, you increase friction once again in order to break your slide, and then finally, back to normal.

Your two companions just look at you, wide eyed. It is Rahman who speaks up first.

"I saw it come out of you...a 「Blessed Battle-Spirit」."

"What do you mean? I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING!? THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?" Mercuria is starting to freak out a bit. Surely, it is not every day that you see a man beat the pulp out of a Shoota Boy without even touching them.

Before you can respond, however, a bolt pistol cocks behind you.

"I DON'T know and I DON'T care what just happened, but you surely must have been tainted by Chaos, Joestar. Any last words before I purify you, Guardsman?"

Hayes.

[NM3]
>>
Rolled 36

>>27587261
If such is the Emperor's will
>>
Rolled 72

>>27587261
Change the friction of the bolt pistol to eject the magazine. Use the ground as object A, the commissar as object B, the pistol as object C, and then lessen the friction of the magazine.
>>
Rolled 82

>>27587261
The Emprah himself instructed me on how to acquire this, '「Blessed Battle-Spirit」'!
>>
Rolled 33

>>27587261
"There is somewhere i should be, direct orders from the emperor. After that, if it is the emperor's will, you shall do it."
>>
Rolled 10

>>27587261
"If it is the Will of the Emperor that I live, he will save me."

Low Rider should catch the bolt.
>>
>>27587290
1-We can't use the ground;
2-Magazines have latches.
>>
Rolled 12

>>27587280
>>27587290
"If such is the Emperor's will"
*Magazine falls off*
>>
>>27587311
Oh, right. Damn.
>>
>>27587261
The Comissar looks like Jotaro.
>>
Can't wait to see this stand push the limits of logic.
>stand touch bullets
>bullets become filled with immense friction
>colliding with the air slows them to a halt
>>
>>27587325
Oooor, wait. The Commissar is pretty close to us, and he can't see Low Rider. We can touch him directly.
>>
>>27587330
Not everyone who has a hat with a brim looks like Jotaro.
>>
Rolled 92

>>27587345
The Emperor protects
>>
>>27587348
His face, together with the hat.
>>
>>27587345
It's Jojo's Bizarre Adventure in the 40K universe. We're going to push the limits of logic off a cliff.
>>
>>27587345

We cant use the air for the Domino Effect, and guns have too many working parts that using the Friction power will likely just screw up the mechanisms within.
>>
>>27587404
Stand touch gun, gun slides out of hand. Or Stand touch gun, use domino effect to slide his anger and suspicion away.
>>
We're past 300 posts, meaning autosage has begun. We should probably wrap this up soon.
>>
Rolled 44

>>27587402
and once we're done we're going to push that cliff to the ocean.
>>
>>27587404
Touch the bullets. Oraoraora them and halt them in midair, Neo-style.
>>
>>27587428
We can't remove friction from concepts yet.
>>
Rolled 50

>>27587402
Eh. I want things to get Bizarre. But I dont want this to be "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure with a sheen of 40k". I don't want the integrity of either to be ruined.

>>27587261
Lets not hurt the Commissar, but protect ourselves. Then we can tell the Commissar what happened.
>>
>>27587428

The Stand specifically states it's power is over Friction, anger and suspicion is not Friction. I agree that Jojo has some amazing powers, but every power has it's own consistent logic to it. Araki prides himself on explaining and detailing how the powers work.
>>
>>27587448
The second we added Jojo to 40k, the integrity of 40k was blasted into a billion gloriously fabulous pieces. We're going to make this setting so damn Noblebright.
>>
Rolled 58

>>27587466
Your wank is showing. Yes yes, 40k is so terrible with its hyper grimdark and it must be subverted into a noblebright progressive setting. Sure.

>>27587261
Use friction to block the bullet. The Emperor Protects.
>>
>>27587453
>The Stand specifically states it's power is over Friction, anger and suspicion is not Friction.
No, but we can, (Eventually if not now), be able to use our control of friction to slide and stick concepts and ideas. Jojo is all about taking simple concepts and then using them in nonsensical ways.
>>
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>>27587293

You stand, defiant to oblivion as fate. Hayes is taken aback a bit by this but he keeps aiming the Bolt Pistol at you.

"The Emperor himself has bestowed me with this ancestral power, Sir Comissar! I must get to Bohemia Tower in this planet! The Emperor himself told me so!"

"LIES! HERESY! DIE YOU CHAOS-WORSHIPPING SC-" but before he can finish, a Laspistol barrel finds itself resting on the nape of his neck.

"How about we hear Joachim's explanation first, you Schola Progenium son of a bitch? As a bearer of the Star-Shaped Birthmark, I would not be surprised if the Emperor himself chose an incredible fate for him."

Several Lasrifles are being trained at Hayes (including Mercuria's). After all, the man threatening the Commisar was none other than the Regiment's Colonel...a man named after one of the direct descendants of Saint Jonathan, a man who was revered as a cunning strategist with an infallible tactic that worked in every situation!

The old Colonel, named after Sir Joseph!

Josef Quattro, Regimental Commander of the Battlers!!
>>
>>27587518
But they don't? They always operate within their own ability description. Emotions have nothing to do with friction.
>>
>>27587500
Your wank is showing. We're a Joestar, fabulousness and friendship happens even if you don't want it to.
>>
>>27587518
But our power is not to slide or stick, that's a consequence of friction. Concepts have no friction to be altered. We could make much more freaky stuff than that though, like changing the friction of photons.
>>
>>27587532
[Forgot to add tag. NM5]
>>
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>>27587532
Goddamn! I can't draw fast enough to keep up with all these characters!
>>
Rolled 86

>>27587532
Pose and explain.
>>
Rolled 39

>>27587553
>>fabulousness and friendship happens even if you don't want it to.
Is not the same as making the entire setting "JoJo's Bizarre Adventures with Laspistols".
>>
>>27587576
Keep at it you glorious bastard!
>>
>>27587585
>"JoJo's Bizarre Adventures with Laspistols"
Seems like that's already happened, bro.
>>
>>27587576
Super Stand Sunday is gonna be very busy tomorrow, what with Guardsman's Bizarre Adventure to talk about, on top of everything else.

That said, if you liked this quest, come back tomorrow for Super Stand Sunday, where you'll get to talk about more shenanigans like this, and make your own stands to boot.
>>
>>27587603

You're too quick to assume. It may not even be Stands, but Stand analgoues brought forth through manifestation of the mind. You know, a common theme in Warhammer 40k called The Warp.
>>
>>27587654
If it looks like a stand, poses like a stand, and ORAs like a stand. MUST TOTALLY BE THE WARP!
>>
>>27587654

Sorry to disappoint, but they're Stands.

For the record, however, Rahman still has no Stand. Make out of that what you will.[/spoilers]
>>
>Schola Progenium
I read that as Schola Penguim for some reason.

>>27587532
Thank him.
>>
>>27587669
Pretty sure Holly in the beginning of part 3 didn't yet have a Stand but could still see Star Platinum.
>>
>>27587669
How much of this is going to be 40k?
>>
>>27587699
Holly had a stand, wasn't it the thing that was killing her because she wasn't strong enough to control it?
>>
>>27587699
>>27587711
Her Stand hadn't manifested yet.
>>
>>27587553
>>No u.

Sorry it does not work that way. You, are wanking over how the entire galaxy will now be noblebright and how 40k sucks. Which kinda ruins the point of a proper crossover
>>
>>27587711
Right, but she didn't have it YET, in the first few chapters of part 3 when Jotaro was still in jail.
>>
Rolled 43

>>27587532
Tell them of the vision
>>
>>27587701

[Now THAT would be telling.
In time, however, everything will be made clear.
I'd say to pay special attention to OVERPOSE events.]
>>
>>27587669

Well that's incredibly dissapointing. Would have much prefered the Jojo type of story/powers logically supplanted into the narrative of Warhammer 40k.
>>
>>27587741
She had, it hadn't manifested yet.
>>
>>27587735
>Muh Grimderp!
You say this like we'll end up shot in the back of the head by an overzealous commisa- OH WAIT!
>>
God I'm so glad I came back to this thread.
>>
>>27587815
Nice strawman.

>>What's that? You don't want to see this be JoJo about how he subverts and reforms the Imperium of Man to something noblebright and progressive? Grimderp alert!
>>
>>27587815

>Jojo
>Falling to something as paltry as a laspistol to the head
>>
>>27587852
We're on a mission from the emperor himself, can punch out squads of Orks, and avoided getting shot by a Commisar screaming Chaos from the support of our Imp Guard squad.
What part of this makes you think it WON'T end up going full EHL and having us and the Emps pose our way into the Eye of the Warp, Punching the shit out of Chaos, and then Brofisting a golden age to the Imperium?
>>
So theorizing how to use Low Rider, if we increase friction to a foe we strike, it would enhance the heat produced from colliding.

Our punches can burn people.
>>
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>>27587884
Sounds familiar.
>>
>>27587878
>We're on a mission from the emperor himself, can punch out squads of Orks, and avoided getting shot by a Commisar screaming Chaos from the support of our Imp Guard squad.

We get souped up by the Emperor to properly be JoJo. A native officer and native comrades side with us against the foreign commissioner because of our planetary mythos.

First part lets this be JoJo. Second part doesn't really derail the "Guardsman" or 40k part of the story at all.
>>
>>27587884
>2. Conflict, as between persons having dissimilar ideas or interests; clash.
Oh god, if we're able to use all sorts of Friction, we literally have a stand that can punch friendship into people.
>>
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[Okay guys, let's keep it civil.
We all have our preferences in regards to storytelling and I know I cannot please everybody, but I genuinely just want to make this incredibly fun for everyone involved.

As for the setting, I do not want to use labels like "grimdark" or "noblebright" or anything like that. Such things would limit the story's proper progression. I want this to be a "story of an incredible struggle". This doesn't mean we'll fix the Imperium, or the universe, or anything, but at the same time, we are indeed a JoJo.

In a setting like 40k, a small light in the endless darkness shines the brightest. It might flicker out with time, and it might in fact lead for other little lights to flare up, or maybe it won't...that's something we do not know yet.

We are merely an individual who together will face the horrors of the universe and try to leave a mark. What tomorrow holds, nobody knows.

Also I still need two more rolls.]
>>
>>27587918

Or rather, punch the conflict out of them.
Friends arguing? Friction between friends. PUNCH 'EM. Best friends.
>>
>>27587918
That kind of thing is more of a metaphor with friction than actually using friction.
>>
Rolled 29

>>27587933
rollan
Where can I find the Hiimdaisy comics?
>>27587940
That's never stopped a Jojo. Ever.
>>
Rolled 79

>>27587686
Rolling for thanking.
>>
Rolled 63

Here's one. Greet the Commander with a salute - you know what kind.
>>
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>>27587576
And there we go. The Old Colonel will have to wait.
>>
>>27587940
Nothing defined what type of friction we're restricted too. Hell, we could also possibly cause speech to fuck up by increasing the friction in words.

Then you have Kinetic and Static Friction. God, we've got an awesome power.
>>
>>27587946
>That's never stopped a Jojo. Ever.
When has that happened? I really don't remember.
>>
Rolled 83

>>27587955

THESE POSES

This has to be the pic for an OVERPOSE involving all three of our crew.
>>
>>27587955
you glorious bastard
>>
>>27587955
Thats awesome.
>>
>>27587957

Yes...if you look at it from a physics standpoint (ha, physics in 40K OR JoJo) then we could assume that Low Rider has control over the coefficient of friction proportional to his strength. Sooooo with enough training we could increase the coefficient of static friction to ludicrous levels, making objects functionally immovable, or increase friction with the air, making things spontaneously catch fire, or increase the coefficient of kinetic friction and cause moving things to suddenly stop with killer acceleration...and also probably catch fire. And that's only what we could do if we INCREASED friction...
>>
>>27587957
I don't remember there being a stand that can affect a persons emotions without altering the chemicals produced in the brain. It could be bit of a stretch, but if some quality of friction can make such a thing happen, then its legit.

>>27587946
>>27587962
Jojos use their stands within the limits given, which equates to not being able to do things the stand has no relation to.
As long as there is a physical link between two things, and our stand is one of them, we can logically manipulate it in some way.
>>
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>>27587948

"Thank you, Colonel! You see.."

But before you can explain, the deafening sound of metal footsteps gets closer!

"'E ALL BOYZ NOT ORKY ENUFF? I SWER, 'E GITS GETTIN' KICK'D AROUND BY STINKIN' 'UMIES, JUS' LIKE DAT? LEMME SHOW YA TA DAKKA!!"

A mechanical monstruosity lumbers towards your Regiment! Half-Ork, Half-Machine, All Rage.

"Let's just leave the explanations for later! Joestar, do you think you can use that power of yours to handle that Ork?!" orders Josef.

[NM6]
>>
>>27588003
>Uppercut somebody with Low Rider
>Decrease friction with air as low as it can go
>Escape velocity achieved?

We must test this.
>>
Rolled 99

>>27588037
Have Low Rider feint left, ORA right.
>>
Rolled 44

>>27588037
"Absolutely.", then pose.
>>
Rolled 14

>>27588037
Let's see if we can punch the fucking conflict out of him. (Remember to pose.)
>>
Rolled 30

>>27588037
Make the ork the embodiment of friction!!
>>
>>27588022
>Jojos use their stands within the limits given, which equates to not being able to do things the stand has no relation to. As long as there is a physical link between two things, and our stand is one of them, we can logically manipulate it in some way.
Again, when has that happened?
>>
>>27588061
God damn, how many times have we rolled near 100?
>>
Rolled 74

>>27588037

Oheylookhe'sincontactwiththesnow.

Let's see how the ugly bastard like running without any friction beneath his feet. Once he's on the ground, show him how a JoJo deals with his enemies.

Upon victory: POSE.

>>27588049
No good, you'd have to manipulate gravity for that. HEY LOOK ANOTHER STAND IDEA.
>>
Rolled 51

>>27588037
ORA RIGHT
Low Rider PAUNCH LEFT
Lasgun friction to shoot from the SKY
>>
>>27588061
Unless the ork is a stand user, he can't see LR. Theres no point to a feint.
>>
>>27588037
POSE, give an affirmative, and pull off a low slide towards the ork and begin the ORA without slowing yourself down until the target sufficiently pulped. While barraging hit things to lower friction so that nothing can stay attached to the poor guy.
>>
>>27588061
ORAORAORAORAORAOORAORAORAOORAORAORAORAORAORAORAOORAORAORAORAORA
>>
>>27588061
It's a Stand, unless the ork has one he can't see it.
>>
>>27588095
We don't have to MANIPULATE gravity.

Just overcome it.

We just have to punch really, REALLY hard.
>>
>>27588107
>Orks with Stands

I am terrified now.

Not because of the power they'd have.


But because Stands prompt POSING, and no one wants to see an Ork be FABULOUS.
>>
Rolled 89

>>27588107
If he is a stand user, we must befriend him so he totally joins us.
>>
Rolled 80

>>27588037
Pose and make a dramatic speech to him. A FIGHT WITH FISTS.

Is he ORK enough to fight a human with his raw strength?
>>
Rolled 30

>>27588118
Derp, caps
>>
>>27588130
>and no one wants to see an Ork be FABULOUS.
I DO! I. MOST. CERTAINLY. DO.
>>
>>27588130
>implying we don't want to see an ork pose
>>27588131
Now thats thinking like a jojo!
>>
Rolled 71

>>27588128

You'd have to increase Low Rider's punch power for that. OR we could get a force or vector manipulation Stand.

More feasibly, if we end up in a fight in the upper atmosphere, toss your opponent off the edge...and then reduce all of his friction with the air to zero. Boom, no air resistance, no terminal velocity, he hits the ground at impossible speeds and is vaporized.
>>
>>27588179
>he hits the ground at impossible speeds and is vaporized.

Well, I'm no physicist, but if our opponent hits the ground at some kind of angle, couldn't his lack of friction make him keep going, until he gets deep enough that the heat and pressure destroy him even more utterly?
>>
>>27588179
Alternatively turn up the air's friction and watch as he burns out like a match.
>>
>>27588202
He would still feel the impact of hitting the ground.
>>
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>>27587878
>We're on a mission from the god emperor
Great now i keep on seeing our characters as pic related
>>
Rolled 21

>>27588202

No, even if he hits at an angle there's a contact force equal to a trigonometric function of his angle and his speed of impact. So he still hits the ground pretty damn hard.
>>
So, long story short, Low Rider (like most Stands) gives us the power to make physics completely our bitch.

I doubt we'll be allowed to take our power into the metaphorical realm, though - this ain't Touhou. Though we could /possibly/ fool around with friction enough to produce static charges and thus send unexpected signals through the brain. I'm a little fuzzy on whether or not that's actually physically correct, but whether or not fucks are given will be up to OP.
>>
>>27588288
Oh! By the way, I think our pendant is a Arrowhead. We need to make sure that our stand isn't pierced by it. A requiem would probably kill us.
>>
>>27588061

[Hey guys, I gotta step out for a bit. I'll still keep an eye on the thread and updating it over my phone though, just no drawings.]

You break into a sprint, approaching the Ork Warboss as quickly as you can. You summon Low Rider and send it as far to the left as it can go in order to feint.

As the Power Klaw on the Warboss' right hand speeds towards you, you remember that Mercuria said she couldn't see Low Rider just now.

The realization dawns on you. Not everybody can see Low Rider. And this Warboss surely couldn't.

Luckily, Low Rider is rather fast, and it manages to touch the Power Klaw before it hits you, increasing the Klaw's friction with the nearby air.

The blow is still has an incredible force. You're sent hurling through the air as blood escapes your mouth and falls on the snow. You're flying in the air as in a daze, before you regain your composure and realize that the fall could probably take you out of commission.

You get to work.

"LOW RIDER!!"

In a flash, Low Rider touches your clothes and body, increasing their friction with the air dramatically, braking the speed of your flight.

As you are about to hit the ground, you use Low Rider to decrease your friction to less than normal. Once you hit the ground, you slide against it rather than suffering the full force of the impact.

It still hurts tremendously. Your muscles ache and you are bleeding from the mouth. Luckily, it doesn't seem like you've broken any bones...yet.

Your slide continues until you collide against the wrecked Chimera's left flank, hitting yourself pretty hard on the back (but causing no real damage as your flak armor takes the force of the blow).

You set your friction back to normal, get up shakily, and you stare at the Warboss, and then back at the Chimera wreck behind you.

[NM8]
>>
Rolled 45

>>27588393
Hit the Chimera, send it sliding towards the warboss.
>>
>>27588393
Obvious suggestion: put the Chimera between us and the warboss, remove the Chimera's friction, and kick that sumbitch into the Warboss's face.
>>
>>27588393
Use Low Rider to launch the chimera at the war boss
>>
Rolled 92

>>27588393
Push the Chimero into him.
>>
Rolled 46

>>27588419
Forgot the roll.
>>
>>27588420
Shit cannot into dice
>>
Rolled 39

>>27588393

Jump behind Chimera wreck. Reduce all Chimera friction to zero. Punch that shit at the Warboss.

(Side note: OP, remember to take into account that friction produces heat, and also the Killing Fall Clause: what kills you is the acceleration. You can't just braking in midair would actually hurt /more/. The key is to have a gradual deceleration, so setting our friction so that we come to a smooth stop. Though we're a JoJo, we can take hits that would kill a normal man ten times over.)
>>
Rolled 41

Ahahahahaha, it appears everyone knows what must be done.
>>
Rolled 74

Ahahahahaha, it appears everyone knows what must be done.
>>
Rolled 59

>>27588465
Samefag?

>>27588393
Rip off the chimera cannon. Friction the bullets at it.
>>
>>27588509

Nah, something acted up. Was unintentional.

Also...just wondering...would we be allowed to lower our coefficient of friction /below/ zero? Effectively reversing the direction of friction - that is to say, taking a sliding thing, and causing it to speed up as fast as we want it to?

(I doubt we'll be allowed to until we've done some training. Because that would be seriously broken.)
>>
>>27588446

[I forgot to mention it was a gradual change, but you're absolutely right. As a matter of fact, check this out]

>>27588421
You stare at the Chimera, an idea rising within you. You look towards the flabbergasted Mercuria next, telling her everything she needs to know with your eyes.

She figures out she and the rest of the people near her should promptly get out of the way, at least.

You run towards the back of the Chimera as Dakka from the Warboss misses your mark. One of the projectiles graze your shoulder armor , but you keep on moving.

"LOW RIDER!"

The battle spirit manifests itself in front of you.

You have it punch the hull repeatedly, reducing the friction of the wreckage more and more with every blow. The Warboss' Dakka keeps pelting the front of the Chimera.

You feel that's been quite enough. With a might "ORA!" Low Rider punches the Chimera with tremendous force, sending it skidding forwards.

But you know that won't be enough to keep it going until it reaches the Warboss. It's gonna need more of an impulse.

You reduce the Friction on your shoes once again, and start moving behind the Chimera, as if you were ice skating.

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA!!"

In the hail of oncoming fire, your Low Rider's fists keep pushing the Chimera forward, making it gain more and more speed.

A loud thump, and a huge, guttural wail.

The Warboss has been hit by what used to be a vehicle.

Time for phase 2.

The speed of your blows increases. But this time, they are not just pushing the Chimera forward.

This time, they're also increasing the Warboss' friction, as well as that of the hull's section which is in direct contact with him.

It isn't long until the Warboss catches fire and his cries become even louder.

Time to finish this.
>>
>>27588728

You are getting closer to the rest of the Warboss' forces, which keep firing their Shootas at he Chimera to no avail. You start increasing the friction on your boots, slowing your movement, and give the Chimera one last push.

The flaming Chimera-and-Warboss-wreckage runs over some more Orks before it loses all control, rolling around and taking some more Orks with it.

You almost feel sorry for the poor sods being crushed by the out-of-control metal box. Almost.

In the distance, a single Ork stares at the spectacle, Choppa in hand, mouth agape.

"Dut.....DUT WUZ SO ORKY!!"

You start walking back to your squad. What do you do?

[NM 5]
>>
>>27588775


[Also I do believe we hit autosage. New thread?]
>>
Rolled 86

>>27588775
Rolling to convince him to join up with us, and let Commander Quattro be his new warboss.
"If you think that's Orky, wait'll you see what the rest of the Imperium gets up to!"
>>
Rolled 57

>>27588775

...Someone needs to draw this shit.

POSE with your squad, meanwhile telling the orks that back the /hell/ off before you get even MORE orky on their asses.

If we get an OVERPOSE on any POSE within this decision, orks adopt us as a warboss
>>
Rolled 86

>>27588775
Pose and Thumbs up to the Ork in the distance.
>>
Rolled 59

>>27588802
(Also, dude. I'm trying to think of stuff for JoJo to say, but damn if nothing I come up with sounds right.)
>>
Rolled 96

>>27588806
>>27588775
That's heresy. Shoot the ork.
>>
Rolled 73

>>27588821
Shooting is unrefined. Also, we haven't posed yet and we just did something awesome, your post shouldn't be anything other then "Pose."
>>
Rolled 52

>>27588775
"Orky? No. Stylish. Run off, before you get shot, and tell your comrades what Joachim Joestar. or JoJo has done."
>>
Rolled 80

>>27588840
Fine, pose the ork to death.
>>
Rolled 100

>>27588840
>Shooting is unrefined.
>Joseph with a Thompson.gif
>>
>>27588821
>>27588875
The Emperor has spoken, the ork must be shot.
>>
Rolled 63

>>27588885
Nah, I'd leave him alone. Git needs to tell da other gits that one uv 'em humies is just as orky as dem.
>>
Rolled 32

>>27588875

OH HEY LOOK OP
WE GOT OURSELVES AN OVERPOSE
>>
>>27588885
>POSE!
"A gentleman is never 'orky'."
>Joachim unholsters his laspistol and points at the poor thing with a powerful, but sorrowful POSE.
"Allow me to show you a gentleman's unfettered grace and purify your heresy."
>BLAM!
>>
Rolled 2

>>27588926

/Now/ we may POSE with our crew.
>>
Rolled 91

>>27588926
Return to our squad, salute the colonel. "Objective complete, sir."
>>
>>27588821

You take a firing stance, drawing your Laspistol, and letting the lights fly on the general direction of the remaining Ork.

Sadly though, he is really, REALLY far away from you, far beyond your Laspistol's range.

In an uncharacteristically un-Orky moment, the last Ork starts running AWAY from you rather than TOWARDS you.

You've pretty much destroyed an Ork WAAAGH (complete with Warboss) and made Orks downright RUN away from you (and you're pretty sure they weren't a Blood Axe). All in your first active day in the Imperial Guard.

Sebastian Yarrick would be proud.

Now what do you do?

[NM 6, next course of action will be posted in a new thread.]
>>
Well that's odd. I wonder what happened.
>>
>tfw most of the actions taken were suggested by you
>>
Clearly the POSE is with you, anon.
>>
Rolled 88

>>27588959
He forgot the Number Mode.

>>27588951
Report to your superiors.
>>
>>27588951
I posted >>27588945 in response to the deleted prompt.
>>
Rolled 51

>>27588951
Gentlemanly & soldierly pose.

Report to superiors. I want to especially see the Commissar's reaction.
>>
Rolled 73

>>27588951
Report to superiors. Explain that you were given a vision from the Emperor and are to go to Bohemia Tower.
>>
Rolled 76

>>27588951
POSE and REPORT to the 「Colonel」.
>>
Rolled 31

"Boyz! I just saw the most orksiest fing ever! This Flashy looking humie git just punched a broken tank so ard that it crushed our warboss and set 'im on fire!."
"You're full of shit."
>>
>>27589169
>YA FULL O SHIT YA GIT

FTFY
>>
Rolled 5

>>27588951
Go back to the troops and simply state
"The Emperor Protects"
>>
>>212805442

[New Thread]
>>
>>27589398

Disregard that, here's proper link.

>>27589382
>>
Man, whoever archived this one fucked up. Don't archive stuff unless you know what you're doing.


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