Scavengers, Trespassers, Adventurers, Lolis, Killers, Explorers, Robbers.YOU ARE LOLI,At the ripe age of 12 years old, you decided that you'd had enough of this boring world, and decided it was time to migrate to the land of wonder and paradise everyone keeps calling "The Zone".It took you a lot of effort to get here without your parents being able to stop you again; and as you emerge from the sewer that you just crawled through for over a mile to be left staring at the barren landscape stretching out before you, you begin to wonder if the stories of a wonderland were at all exaggerated..."Hey, you there! Don't move!"Your torn from your thoughts as a brute of a man almost three times your size, armed with a big, rugged-looking gun challenges you. He's wearing the same clothes as that other man that kept trying to stop you at the barbed wire before the sewer. You get the impression you won't like these people."Wait, what the hell? How'd a little girl get in here?? This place is dangerous! Come over here!"[ ]Run.[ ]Cry.[ ]Kick him in the nuts.
[x]Kick him in the nuts.
[ ]Run.[ ]Cry.[x]Kick him in the nuts.
shit thread is shit
[ ]Kick him in the nuts.Break his nuts!!!
[x] kick him in the nuts.Then, eye gouge, steal his gun, kill him, and move forward.
[x]Pretend to cry[x]Kick him in the nuts
>>27332789Fuck you, Kariya.[X] Nutcracker
[x] Cry[x] Run[x] Cry
>>27332789You've spent most of your life perfecting the method of getting adults off guard. You start to tear up, and then give a little whimper as you slowly start to move towards him. He takes a hand off his gun as he reaches for you. "Don't worry, it's alright. I'll take you somewhere safe and warm. I think we have chocolate, too. Do you like chocol-"Putting as much weight as you can into the swing, you bring your foot up between his legs, feeling a satisfying *pop* as you connect. The man immediately keels over, dropping his gun as he does so.You don't waste a moment, grabbing it by the strap and turning to flee.You manage to clear about 50 yards before you hear the man finally start to shout out to his friends at the barricades.You look back over your shoulder in time to see a man in the tower turn to face you holding a really big gun attached to the railing. There's a flash. And then the world seems to explode with noise and dirt.[ ]Keep running[ ]Drop the gun and put your hands up[ ]Fall over
>>27333001>[ ]Drop the gun and put your hands up>[ ]Cry.
>>27333001>[ ]Keep runningKeep running! Even we fall down, the explosion may still hit us.
>[ ]Keep running
>>27333001>[ X ]Drop the gun and put your hands up and start cryingwe are just a little girl.
>>27333001>[ ]Drop the gun and put your hands up
>>27333096This anon is right[ X ]Drop the gun and put your hands up and start crying
>>27333096i'll support this.
>>27333001You immediately stop where you are. You don't know what's going on, but clearly this was a bad idea. You throw your new toy on the ground and throw your hands in the air."CEASE FIRE! CEASE FIRE!"The noise stops.You can hear one of the men approaching behind you.You were so close to your goal... you can see the Zone before you...You can't help it, you begin to genuinely cry for the first time in as long as you can remember."Girl. Turn. Slowly."[DC 12 Weapons-grade Cuteness check]>Gimme a D20, first three count.
Rolled 10>>27333182Super Kawai Mode!!!
>>27333203Well, proud to have served with you on this loli, gentlemen.
Rolled 14>>27333182"i didnt know what to do. i sowwy, so sowry." *hick*
>>27333252I surrender, suckers.
>>27333182Let's see how well this turns out.
>>27333285Whoops, I fucked up. Nevermind though, other people got the last two roll slots.
>>27333203>>27333246>>27333252>Best of three"I... I... *sniff* I'm sowwy. You were loud and it scared me and... and...." You trail off as you resume your quiet despair."Ok, I'm going to believe you were just scared and you didn't mean any harm... Now. Come towards me. Slowly..."You meekly obey him. He quickly walks you all the way back to the barricades.Every man there continues to keep their guns trained on you."Petyr, what in the hell are you doing?" The tower guard calls down as you approach."What d'you mean, what am I doing? Bringing a little girl back across the Cordon.""EXACTLY, man. What the hell is a little girl doing this side of the Cordon? Get that thing away from here!"You continue to passively follow the big man as he walks you into a room with a long table and a kitchen area.[ ]Sit down quitely.[ ]Ask what happens now.[ ]Ask for the chocolate.
>>27333341gib chocolate pls
>>27333341>Ask for the chocolate.The obvious answer. We are the little girl, and god damn it, we need sugar while we wait for them to play into our hand.
>>27333341ChoooocooolltteeeIn that creepy tone too.
>>27333341>[ ]Ask for the chocolate.
>>27333341There should be a knife around. Grab it and slice his throat.
12 years old is pretty old for a loli. Most girls are well into puberty by that point.
>>27333510seconded. this is our chance.
>>27333341Ask for chocolate.
>>27333510No, we should avoid killing them, but only as last resort. We focus on looking around the surrounding and waiting for the right moment to escape silently.
>>27333510This but stab him in the nuts, considering we are a short girl that should be easier.
>>27333568lolis dont need a reason to murder an adult men. just felt liek doing it? then do it.DO IT. STAB HIM.
>>27333510I like the cut of your jib.
>>27333341"Uhm," you pipe up as the two men start getting louder, "you... said there was chocolate..?"Silence descends in the room, and you notice a number of other men coming in from all sides of the room to see what's going on."Uhh... Yeah, sure. I can get it for you now," the man named Petyr says as he begins to move towards the kitchen area."Aaw, hell no. You're giving this thing my chocolate now?""Don't call her a thing! And she's a scared little girl! Just give her the chocolate.""IT'S NOT A LITTLE GIRL!! What kind of little girl just turns up, on the INSIDE OF THE CORDON?"Some of the other men begin to join in the argument between them; you hear one man shouting something about a "controller", and another about horror stories of little girls in the Zone.You notice that you're still not getting the chocolate.[ ]Try to quietly walk out the room.[ ]Sit down and wait for them to finish[ ]"....Chocolate...?"
>>27333627>I have no idea why that image is attached.
>>27333654sir, have you been reading you're own story?the image knows.also[x] sit down (pout) and wait for them to finish
>>27333627You dont give me chocolate? I can take as much as i like... when you are dead. We have our reason now. STAB 'EM! SLICE 'EM!
>>27333627>sit down and wait for them to finish
>>27333627Start yammering about having lost your papa in the zone, having eaten nothing for days, yadda, yadda.
Rolled 1[ ]"....Chocolate...?"
>>27333530and people here are making her act like a 6 year old.
>>27333627can we be the insane kind of loli that fucks with peoples minds?[x] sit down (stare at one of them and softly whisper "kill your friends") and wait for them to finish
>>27333692i am with this anon here. lolis are always better with a knife in hand.
>>27333627[x]"....Chocolate...?"Priorities here gentlemen
>>27333627>[x]STAB 'EM! SLICE 'EM
>>27333727Unfortunately, that's the kind of idea people get when they think loliEven though the girl in Lolita was 12>>27333627Don't just ask for chocolate politely. Go into full on hormonal tweenager rampage. DEMAND YOUR CHOCOLATE!Failing that, try seducing them with your assets
Alright, so 3 for sit, 3 for Chocolate and 2 for Stab'n'Slice?
>>27333692>>27333627Grab that knife NOW.
>>27333822>Stab'n'Slicewe can always cry again if that fails.
>>27333627Get dat fukken chocolate
>>27333828She's 12 right? Girls usually start puberty at like 10 and have their first period at 12. She's prime pickings for sex starved slavs.
>>27333806the definition given in the book ranges from 9 to 14, considering the diffrences in development today I think the idea is a girl almost into puberty but not there yet, so younger than the jailbait posted on /b/ but older than what people call loli today.
>>27333886She's also competing with Slav sluts in tit territory.
>>27333822I can sit and eat my chocolate, AFTER i slice through these old men to my heart's content.
>>27333886>The first physical sign of puberty in girls is usually a firm, tender lump under the center of the areola of one or both breasts, occurring on average at about 10.5 years of age. This is referred to as thelarche. By the widely used Tanner staging of puberty, this is stage 2 of breast development (stage 1 is a flat, prepubertal breast). Within six to 12 months, the swelling has clearly begun in both sides, softened, and can be felt and seen extending beyond the edges of the areolae. This is stage 3 of breast development. By another 12 months (stage 4), the breasts are approaching mature size and shape, with areolae and nipples forming a secondary mound.She could totally have assets. Or at least breastets.OP, if you don't want this to devolve any further into little girl puberty talks, you should hurry up
>>27333627"....Chocolate...?"Another silence fills the room as everyone seems to remember you're there again. You make your way across to the kitchen, where you see a rack full of knives. Sliding the second biggest one from its place in what you imagine to be a nonchalant way, you turn to stare blankly at the group. "It's not nice to promise chocolate you don't have."In a moment, you see the chocolate-owner reach for his handgun. Petyr moves as well to restrain his hand.In the same moment, another man in a fancy-looking cap walks into the centre of the room."Alright, what is this all this commotion? And why is there a little girl in my outpost?"As he turns to examine you, you hide the knife behind you and pull the best puppy-dog eyes you can. "Mister, do you know where the chocolate is?"[DC18 Cuteness check]>FUCKING CAPTCHA JUST LET ME POST
Rolled 15>>27333970Kawaii desu to MAX
Rolled 6>>27333970Better buy a 4chan pass!
Rolled 4>>27333970CUTE TIME!!!!!
Rolled 2>>27333970this is a rare occasion where i really want a crit fail. just for fun.
>>27333951my dick slightly moved while reading this.
>>27333989>>27333997>>27334005>>27334006>>27334013Wow, we botched that one
>>27333970Because they won't let me go, duh.
>>27333970We're going to die.We're going to die so hard.
>>27334081We die on our terms.Slit our throat.
>>27334087We die on our terms.Slit THEIR throat!
>>27333989>>27333997>>27334005The commander takes a quick few steps back from you and peers at you intently."SHE'S GOT A FUCKING KNIFE," screams the chocolate owner. "IT'S NOT A LITTLE GIRL GODDAMN IT!"Hearing this, the commander immediately pulls his own handgun and points it squarely at your forehead. "And which of you idiots let a Controller wander into my outpost?""What's a Controller?" you ask, voice full on innocence.Petyr again tries to rally a defense for you, "Sir just stop! She's just a scared little girl! Let's talk this over! Look, she's not threatening at all!"As he steps towards the man in the hat, he takes his hands off the chocolate-owner. The man in the hat glances over his shoulder to see who was speaking. The chocolate owner raises his gun. And fires.
>>27334106Either way, the man who owns the chocolate is dead, which means that nobody can contest our rights to it.Grin internally.
Rolled 14>>27334106I roll for our luck....
>>27334106The next few seconds are a blur to you. But right now you're lying under the table with a lot of blood pouring from your arm. Petyr is lying on the ground a short distance away, and won't stop staring right at you. You're pretty sure he's dead, due to the fact there's a bloody mess where his forehead used to be. The man in the hat is leaning against the kitchen counter, cursing fluently while nursing a wound in his thigh. You don't know where the chocolate-owner or the other men are, but there's a lot of gunfire in every direction.[ ]Run for the door.[ ]Stay put.[ ]Climb out the window.
>>27334177Let get out from the window.
>>27334177Stay put.Commander might have chocolate. Otherwise we can shiv him and steal his pistol.
>>27334177stay put.You really want that chocolate.
>>27334177There is only one thing left to do.Take what we need from these hapless fools.
>>27334177Stay put. These guys mean business.
>>27334197>otherwise we can shiv him and steal his chocolate.ftfy
>>27334177>[ X ]Stay put and start singinghttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWYCS6k1IOA
>>27334239i dont care about staying put but>Singingis a good idea.
>>27334239>not best song for loli of the Motherlandhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIY36UbDbQQ
>>27334280i cant stop laughing at this scene. it was funny first seven times, and it still is.
>>27334177Try to stop the bleeding and climb out the windowYou already climbed through a mile of sewer, this should be a cakewalk
>>27334197This man, this!
>>27334239i think we should whistle beethoven's 5th symphony.
>>27334280What uh.... What did I just watch?
>>27334177You decide this spot feels safe for now. You remain under the table and try not to make any noise.You can hear some moaning from outside the door, and the gunfire seems to be dying down a bit. A few men are shouting at each other, trying to work out what's going on. A few others are shouting incoherently about a "Controller attack".The man in the hat starts to rummage through the draws in the kitchen, muttering something about a medkit.Your eyes suddenly fixate as he pulls something from the second drawer. "Seriously? All this mess for this stupid bar of chocolate...?"Keeping your eyes on the target at all times, you shimmie out from the table as stealthily as you can, push your self upright and quickly move up behind him.Gently running your hands (still holding the knife)about him in a loving hug, you whisper quietly in his ear:"Are you going to give me the chocolate now, Onii-chan?"He freezes, then raises his hand to offer you the bar of chocolate.[ ]Slice him up anyway.[ ]Thank him and take the chocolate. and[ ]Flee out the window.[ ]Go on a looting spree.
>>27334388Girls und Panzer?You know, the anime beloved by /a/,/tg/ and /k/ in equal measure?
>>27334403Thank him and arm yourself. We got what we wanted, no need to kill him, yet.
>>27334410Sounds like something I need to watch
Rolled 9[ ]Thank him and take the chocolate.[ ]Flee out the window.
>>27334403>[x]Thank him and take the chocolate.>[x]Go on a looting spree.Commander cant really move to stop you anyway. I also suggest doing the looting while skipping and humming Katyusha
>>27334410I... did not know. I see the quest occasionally, but didn't know it was an actual thing. I find this a bit unsettling. Thank you.
>>27334403FUCK HIM UPHe pointed a gun at my head. Little girls do not forgive easily.Then run away
>>27334403Take the chocolate without thanking him then loot everything.
>>27334403[ ]Thank him and take the chocolate.[ ]Flee out the window.I don't think it is the right time to loot while people are still around. But we get the chocolate!!!!
>>27334403[x]Thank him and take the chocolateNo point in killing him and stealing the chocolate from his corpse if there's an easier way to get it.[x]Glance around the room and grab maybe one or two things we think will be useful or tasty before quickly fleeing.
>>27334403>Thank him and take the chocolate.>Go on a looting spree.Grab a Makarov. Lolis love Makarovs.
>>27334403Take chocolate, thank him like a good little girl, then go "borrow" some firearms, ammo and other equipment.We need more chocolate.
>>27334403>[ ]Slice him up anyway."you should act friendly to little kids. we dont like when dirty old men are rude and shouting.>Go out the door eating your chocolate and singing happily.
>>27334431It is a lighthearted anime playing with cliches and dancing around them with some grace and dignity.You get schoolgirls being fucking schoolgirls in a sports club that deals with tank combat.Which is entirely normal in this world where girlschools are aircraft carriers the size of major cities.Likable, well-developed characters, great tank battles and a tank washing sceneonly included for the pun you won't get as a baka gaijin.
>>27334521its a ridiculous anime anime about stupid cliche little girls fatguys like to jerk off to.
>>27334403Thank him for the chocolateFlee out the window
>>27334500This seems like a fun course of acction. I support this.
>>27334634You forget where you are.But, if you manage to fap to GuP, something is wrong with you.
I don't care if it's from the wrong setting, this is already how I imagine our character to look.
>>27334722Little Sisters were fairly charming in their own way.
>>27334722Look, Mr. Bubbles!Chocolate!
>>27334500crazy loli always best loli.
>>27334403You take a moment to store the chocolate safely in your Hello Kitty backpack for consumption at a more appropriate time, slip his handgun from his holster, then skip away towards the window while directing some words of thanks at the man in the hat. You notice that Petyr had some useful-looking things on him since he picked you up while he was on watch.You tug at his annoyingly heavy body for a while until his webbing come loose, then continue your way to the window.As you're hopping through the gap, another soldier peeks through the door at the far end of the room. Seeing you move so nimbly while laden down with a soldier's kit, the man screams in abject terror before firing wildly in your general direction. You make your way along the wall of the building as the firefight in the outpost resumes again.And there it is. You can see it again. The wasteland of the Zone lies before you. You begin to skip merrily out into the open as a song about a river that your grandmother used to sing pops into your head.You pass under the tower with the big gun on the railing, the soldier not even bothering to man it as you leave the outpost gates.He watches you leave, then sighs resignedly. "I did NOT sign on for this shit," he mutters as he places the barrel of his Makarov in his mouth.
>>27334802Oh god we're driving them to suicide just prancing about. I can't wait to see how this goes.
>>27334802Well aren't we just stupidly lucky.Are we related to Strelok or something?
>>27334802>have a breakdown and start crying your heart out"i didnt want to kill all those people. i am sorry. i am a bad girl, a very bad girl."
>>27334861just like the sweet little girl we are. all these killing. we never wanted this. we dont like it.
>>27334802Some time later, as you're still skipping your way down the road, you spot a dog lying on the side of the road. It's a pretty mangy looking thing, As you approach, it stands to face you, growling menacingly.[ ]Aaw, what a cute doggy! [DC?? Cuteness test][ ]Ew, what a mangy doggy! [DC?? Shooty test][ ]Ah! What a scary doggy! [DC?? Stealth test]
>>27334889>[ ]Ah! What a scary doggy! [DC?? Stealth test]
[ ]Ah! What a scary doggy! [DC?? Stealth test]
>>27334889>[ ]Aaw, what a cute doggy! [DC?? Cuteness test]We need a pet to run with, since we aint got no gang.
>>27334889What a cute little doggy!
>>27334889>[ ]Aaw, what a cute doggy! [DC?? Cuteness test]We need allies.
>>27334889> [x]Aaw, what a cute doggy! [DC?? Cuteness test]Remember Noah's dog? We want puppies! PUPPIES!
>>27334824 413 posts later...> The monolith stands before you, faintly glowing blue with radiation. What do you wish for? > I wish for all the chocolate in the world! > A bright flash occurs and then darkness.>When you open your eyes, you see a single chocolate bar. As you disappointedly open it a single golden ticket falls out.
>>27334889What a cute doggy! Feed it chocolate if it tries to attack us.
>>27335006>Feed it chocolate if it tries to attack us.Good plan anon. If we don't manage to get it to join us then it will die.
>>27334889"Aaw, what a cute doggy!"You've never had a pet before, but you've heard that dogs are always really friendly."Hi there Doggy! Hello Doggy! Would you like to be my friend?"[DC14 Cuteness Check]>D20, Best of 3
Rolled 16>>27335050These should be good odds.
Rolled 20>>27334889>[ ]Ah! What a scary doggy! [DC?? Stealth test]"scary dogs are cute"
Rolled 15>>27335050Fuck yeah, pet!
Rolled 6>>27335050Who's a good boy? WHO'S A GOOD BOY?!
>>27335059>Well that was a useful place to get one...
>>27335056>>27335059So... who wins? I swear to god OP you'd better not kill this dog.
>>27335050You keep walking towards the dog, holding your hand out in front of you. "Here, Doggy. C'mon!" The dog keeps growling, then barks once.Your step don't even falter as you approach. The dog barks again. You notice its stance change, and you stop about a foot away from it.After a moment, the dog closes the gap and begins to lick your fingers. And the rolls over onto its back, clearly inviting you to pet it.As you start to fluff up its belly, a thought hits you."Do you like chocolate, Doggy? I do."You reach around and open your backpack one-handed, and pull out the bar of chocolate.Cracking off a chunk, you offer it to the dog. Who sniffs it once, then turns its head away in disgust."What's the matter, you don't like chocolate?"You toss the chunk into your mouth. And then spit it right back out."Urgh! It's Ukranian!"
>>27335181Thank god the doge didn't eat the chocolateI don't want a ded doge
>>27335181We will name it blinde doge
With that having spoiled the mood, you stand up and continue skipping on down the road; your new friend falls in behind you, wagging his tail vigorously.A little further down the road, you think you can see a bundle of building with some men who are definitely not in uniform milling about.[ ]Continue skipping all the way to the buildings.[ ]Slow to a walk and head in.[ ]Stop and scope them out.
>>27335242Stop and scopeAsk doge what he thinks. Doges have good intuition.
>>27335242>[ ]Stop and scope them out.
>>27335242stop and scope 'em!
>>27335242>[ ]Stop and scope them out.Let watch them and see if we can loot more stuff.
>>27335242Stop and scope them out.
>>27335242[x]scope them outcan't trust anybody with a loli.
>>27335242Scope them out. I want to keep up the light mood, but it's probably best to ensure we can do that without getting shot at again.
>>27335242>[ ]Continue skipping all the way to the buildings.just a little girl playing in the streets.
>>27335242You move off into the bushes on the side of the road as you close on the buildings. You quickly notice that these men are nothing like the scary men at the "Cordon", as you see one of them staring down the barrel of his own gun as he fiddles with it. His friend is staring off into the sky, instead of looking anywhere useful, and another more rugged-looking man is chewing out a bunch of younger men who are all pointedly staring at their feet.Two men come out of the nearest building to you, yawning widely, as another bedraggled survivor makes his way into the building further away. After a few minutes, he emerges from the building missing his pack, and with a lot of empty pockets - but his gun is now so shiny you can see it reflecting the meager sunlight even from here.[ ]Approach along the road.[ ]Get closer to them [Sneak][ ]Take aim...[ ]Go around the village.
>>27335404They seem essentially harmless. Let's move up and try to keep that light mood we had going.
>>27335404>walk down the street skipping like the little girl you are.
>>27335404>[ ]Approach along the road.Skipping.
>>27335404>[ ]Approach along the road.Let's make some new friends. That dog we have should make them be more likely to trust us.
>>27335404Coming to the conclusion that these guys are harmless, you resume your previous pace of skipping down the road, Doggy at your heel. As you get within a dozen yards of the two men at the fence, the one looking down his barrel finally notices your presence. He jerks backwards, trying to lift his gun to the ready position. As he does so it goes off, blowing away half his jaw."See that's why you don't look down your barrel, silly. Even I know that," you quip lightly to him as you continue past his stunned companion and further into the village. No-one else seems to react to the gunshot.From here, you[ ]Approach the rugged-looking man.[ ]Go into the bunker-looking building that the shiny-gun man came from.[ ]Explore the other buildings.
>>27335597>[ ]Explore the other buildings.Rugged looking is obviously teaching the idiots, the bunker is most likely guarded. So we choose the other option.
>[ ]Explore the other buildings.
>>27335597>[ ]Approach the rugged-looking man.
>>27335597Dogs like meat right? That man just died, it was a waste but it doesnt have to be complete waste.>Let dog eat the dead man.>Meanwhile ask other people for some chocolate
>>27335670This anon knows the way of loli.Go with this.
>>27335597Explore for chocolate. Maybe the buildings have some.
>Chocolate addiction grips loli'sAnd other news at 5
>>27335597"Well, there's no worse sin than wasting food, is there Doggy? You might as well dig in while I look around."Doggy barks happily at you, then moves over to the still-gargling idiot on the floor. Doggy then wastes no time in setting about his meal, while you head in to check out the other buildings.The first building you start poking around in appears to be some sort of group sleeping area. There are some unattended bags that are highly unlikely to hold anything of use to you, as well as some discarded vodka bottles and used cigarette butts.At the back of this room, in a corner so dark you almost miss him, is a laid-back looking younger man fiddling with one of a whole bunch of guns laid out on his bunk. He seems to be the only one in the village so far who actually belongs here.[ ]Talk to him.[ ]Check the other buildings.
>>27335805Talk to him
>[ ]Talk to him.
>>27335805I propose we rename Doggy to Doge
>>27335805Come up to the man and ask him if he knows where the chocolate is. Remember to ask politely.
>>27335805>[ ]Talk to him.We went into these buildings, no point in wasting the opportunity.We should ask him to think of a good doggy name. Because every dog needs a name.
>>27335805>Ask around for chocolate.>Stay somewhere where we can see Doggy. Someone might want to hurt our cute pet.
>>27335901but he has a name. "Doggy"
>>27335955Please do not infect this thread with your doge shitposting.
>>27335955I refuse to accept naming him some tumblr meme.I prefer something regal and great. Let's call him, The Wordbearer. Or Word for short.
>>27335805"Excuse me, mister. Do you know where I could get some chocolate?"The man stops to glance up at you once, before resuming his fiddling. "A little girl, huh? Never seen one of you in the Zone. Well, you're not a hallucination. That usually comes with a headache. So what can I do for you?"[DC16 Cuteness check]
>>27335855нет. His name is Karl.
Rolled 4>>27336014"You can tell me where i can find some chocolate. Not Ukranian."
Rolled 20>>27336014"I *just* asked for chocolate!"
>>27336060>>27336059>>27336036>>27336014Best of three?
Rolled 20>>27336078Boy I hope so, I'd like to see what a critical cute roll does for us
Rolled 2>>27336087Boy I hope so, I'd like to see what double critical cute rolls does for usDid it work?
>>27336126You got the first digit.l
>>27336126You're missing a zero.
>>27336171As we all learned back in public school, it's entirely acceptable to add a zero anywhere you'd like in an equation, because zero doesn't effect the value in any way, so two is basically the same as twenty.
>>27336014>>27336060"I already told you!" you exclaim, pouting heavily. "Do you know where I could get some chocolate?""Aw now, don't be like that. Here, I've got just the thing," says the man as he rummages in one of his vest pouches."Folks here call me Nimble, mostly 'cause I'm really good at getting things."He produces a bar of chocolate. And not just any chocolate. You can see from the wrappings, this is a western chocolate bar. And it just happens to be your favorite, too. You've only ever had this stuff twice before in your life.You gaze at him for a moment in awe."Really? I can have it??""Sure, take it. Not like it'll do much for me anyway. I'd probably just sell it to Sidorovich in the bunker. Oh, if you need anything basic, that's the man you'll want to see. Be prepared to pay for it though. Anything else you need though -other than chocolate- come and see me for it, and I'll see what I can do for you."[ ]Take the chocolate[ ]Eat the chocolate[ ]Hug himand[ ]Return to Doggy (dog? doge? Karl? Sir Bedivere Diarmutt the Third?)[ ]Check out the bunker.
>>27336220>fuck, forgot image
>>27336220>[ ]Hug himAnd then>[ ]Return to Word Bearer
>>27336220Take chocolate.Give hug.Return to doggy.
>>27336220>[ ]Hug him>[ ]Eat the chocolate>[ ]Return to Doge
>>27336220>[ ]Take the chocolate>[ ]Hug himHe's given us a precious gift.Go check on the dog, though, because somebody would probably try to hurt him if we left him too long. I vote we name him an admiral or some other military rank.
>>27336220>[ ]Eat the chocolate while hugging him>[ ]Return to Doggy (doggy is good enough)
>>27336284This man knows how it is.
>>27336301>I vote we name him an admiral or some other military rankFirst Lieutenant Doge Barksmor Von MutteWait, do we even have a name yet?
>>27336473>DogeNo, stop trying to shove this shit everywhere. Take it back to Tumblr with the rest of the shit nobody likes.
>>27336485obligatory u wot m8
>>27336485>doge>tumblrGet a load of this guy
>>27336220Hug Nimble.Return to Karl.
>>27336485Believe it or not I actually had to google what you're bitching about. So whatever man.First Lieutenant Sobaka Barksmor Von MutteCutely long, and with no care/clue about proper naming techniques.
>>27336220Without further warning, you leap forward to embrace him. He's taken completely off-guard, and you good long hug in before he regains composure and gently lifts you off him. "Thank you, Mister Nimble! I'll treasure it forever!" you squeal as you tear the wrapper open and take a gigantic bite.Obviously you don't rush the chewing though, you let it sit in your mouth, feel the textures flow as it melts about your tongue, the scent all the more prominent once you pause to savor it. It's even better than you remember it from the last time. Though that might be because this is the first thing you've had to eat since before the sewer (the Ukrainian bar doesn't count). You spent a good few minutes eating the bar, completely oblivious to the outside world.When you finally finish up, you decide you should go check on Doggy. You did, after all, leave him to feast on the flesh of an idiot right in front of all his friends.As you come out into the light again, the first thing you notice is the noises - of flesh being torn, of horrified whimpers, of cocking guns.Once your eyes adjust after leaving the gloom of the sleeping quarters, it's clear what's happening.The idiot's friends are trying to recover the body from Doggy, who is alternating between growling menacingly at them every time the body twitches and gorging himself on the sweat meats of the idiot's neck and high chest. It seems as if he's currently trying to open up the idiot's ribcage in order to get at the juicy organs.The rugged-looking man has clearly had enough of the situation, and is quietly preparing a gunline to execute your dog in one swift action."Aaw, there's no need to act like that!" you interrupt the situation, gleefully. "All you need to do is ask him nicely! Here, Doggy. It looks like they want their friend back now. We'll get you better food, yeah?"Doggy prances over to you, tail wagging, and nuzzles your palms with his blood-soaked snout.
safagging doge guy. go away
>>27336547You really are clueless aren't you.Doge was some tumblr maymay long before it became popular here.
>>27336574Get out of here, Stalker.
>>27336485>No, stop trying to shove this shit everywhere. Take it back to Tumblr with the rest of the shit nobody likes.How new are you?
doggy is named doggy and it is abeautiful name.
>>27336613The ironing, it burns.
>>27336570"Aren't you just a-do-rable!"
Can we all just agree that Doge or Doggy will be fine because they're homonyms (unless you're pronouncing "doge" like an Italian duke, in which case stop doing that.)
>>27336570Important question: Can we use the dog as a mount? Sure 12 is a bit big to effectively do that, but it is a dog from the Zone and maybe we're small for out age?
>>27336627Actually it steams and heats.If it burns you're doing it wrong.>>27336657We should call him Doj.
>>27336627Sorry to hear you never met the classics.
>>27336657Ok, but I insist on it having a military rank.
>>27336690His name is Admiral Doggy, and we ride him around like a horse.
>>27336570The rugged-looking man moves up to pull you over to one side as the others deal with the body. "Listen, it was that fool's fault he blew himself to bits, but no-one's going to appreciate you sticking around after the show that beast just put on. I'd suggest you get out of here as soon as you can. Head north maybe. Towards the Garbage. I'm sure you'll like plenty of... food... for your friend up there.""Okies!" you intone. "Uhm... which way is north?""...That way." And he turns away from you.Un-phased, you and Doggy set forth in the direction known as "North" towards a place apparently called the "Garbage".[Part 1 End]
>>27336730Well this adventure seems interesting. We're riding quite a bit on luck.
>>27336761thats how lolis work.
>>27336730>>27336730We're cute, we're insane and we're badass. Can't say I expect anything else from a little girl quest. Good going, sir.
>>27336761We are a rookie in the Zone. We have nothing else to ride on.
Part 2 shall commence same time tomorrow, unless horrible misfortune befalls me.For now I shall be re-purposing my twitter, @Timeline_Guy, for updates to this if anyone wants to follow.If something becomes of it, maybe I'll create a new one.
Poke for awesomeness.
>>27333341>>27333627>no one made a GIMME THE CHOCOLATE, HISAO jokeNot sure if pride or disappoint...
>>27336820Something came up, so I'll be an hour late.If thread's still live we'll continue here.
>>27345468But autosage in 62 posts