>>27010157
>[X] Flirt

>[X]My fellowship
>[X]My fellowship
>[X]My fellowship
It's like you don't even know Deadpool

>>27010157
>[x] Flirt

>[x]My strength, to do pushups, and gut people. Mostly to gut people.
>[x]My Agility, to duck, dip, dodge,dive, and dodge. Also to shoot people.
>[x]My Willpower, to prevent me from..I dunno, something about Tony Stark's alcoholism.

I suppose this is a fitting choice for a quest. /tg/ leans to randumb

>>27010157
> agility because I like guns
>strength because I like swords
>will power because some joke about hulks steroid use

>flirt
Hey I don't say this to all the girls/guys but you stop my heart

>>27010157
>[x] Panic
Because fuck the rails.

>[x]My Willpower, to prevent me from..I dunno, something about Tony Stark's alcoholism.
>[x]My Agility, to duck, dip, dodge,dive, and dodge. Also to shoot people.
>[x]My fellowship, to disregard females and aquire currency!

>>27010157
>[X] Flirt

[X]My Willpower, to prevent me from..I dunno, something about Tony Stark's alcoholism.
[X]My Intelligence, to remember where I left that tv remote, and craft explosives!
[X]My Agility, to duck, dip, dodge,dive, and dodge. Also to shoot people.

>DP Quest
>Most likely Way Shit
Go read some Joe Kelly, QM.

>>27010157
[X] Flirt

"Why hello there. It's not every day you meet a woman who makes your heart skip a beat."

>[X]My Agility, to duck, dip, dodge,dive, and dodge. Also to shoot people.
>[X]My Willpower, to prevent me from..I dunno, something about Tony Stark's alcoholism.
>[X]My fellowship, to disregard females and aquire currency!

>>27010200
>>27010220
>>27010222
>>27010232
Why am I suspicious of this being a samefag?

>>27010157
>deadpool quest
not sure if waypool.

>>27010157
>[X]Willpower
>[X]Fellowship
>[X]Agility

And
[X]Flirt

File: 1378250664178.png-(5 KB, 360x139, don't be a fag anon.png)

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>>27010265
your paranoia?

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>>27010265
You crazy man

>>27010157

>[ ] Flirt

>[ ]My strength, to do pushups, and gut people. Mostly to gut people.

>[ ]My Agility, to duck, dip, dodge,dive, and dodge. Also to shoot people.


>[ ]My Willpower, to prevent me from..I dunno, something about Tony Stark's alcoholism.

File: 1378250946665.jpg-(109 KB, 1024x680, love_is_in_the_air_deadpo(...).jpg)

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>[X]Willpower
>[X]Agility
>[X}Fellowship.

>[X] Flirt

"Why hello there. It's not every day you meet a woman who makes your heart skip a beat."

She lowers her hood, revealing a skull underneath, but depending on which way you view her from, it changes to flesh with a skull tattoo. Like one of those 3D bookmarks. Neat.

"I am here to claim you for my own, Wade Wilson. Death calls you. Do you answer?"

>[ ]"Hell yes, baby!"
>[ ]"But I haven't finished watching my Golden Girls marathon..."
>[ ]Write in

>>27010265
>implying /tg/ is slow enough for the same poster to get both XXXXX220 and XXXXX222

>>27010382
>write in
But half life 3 isn't out yet

>>27010338
Oh shit realized I got trips

>>27010382
>>[ ]"Hell yes, baby!"

>>27010382
>[ ]"Hell yes, baby!"
>[ ]Write in

"At least buy me a drink first!"

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>>27010243
>>27010277
Honestly.

>>27010382
>[x]"Hell yes, baby!"

>>27010408
YES!
do this.

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>>27010435

>>27010382
"Well I think I left the oven on at home, but I've been expecting this for a while.

Sure, I'll be yours pretty lady."

>>27010338
What?

>>27010435
>implying casuals wouldn't think the original run is waypool
>not knowing exactly how terribad waypool fans are.

File: 1378251252376.png-(547 KB, 1200x844, Hmm.png)

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>>27010455

>>27010382
>>[ ]"But I haven't finished watching my Golden Girls marathon..."

File: 1378251514402.jpg-(1.01 MB, 1280x1200, deadpool recs.jpg)

1.01 MB JPG

/co/mrade here

recs in pic

also, Marvel is releasing a Joe Kelly Deadpool Omnibus in January

>>27010466

>>27010385

>>27010382

>[ ]"Hell yes, baby!"

{Yeah we are gonna bang her!}

[Maybe after romantic reunion first.]

>[X] "Hell yes, baby!"

"Hell yes, baby! But hey, you could at least buy me a drink first!" You let out a chuckle as she puts your chest back together, helping you up off of the operating table. A bar appears, and Death mixes you a mojito.

"You have your drink now, sweet thing. I cannot tell you where it is we walk, but let us go slowly, as I enjoy your company. It is refreshing to be welcome in one's final moments."

You walk with death, through the walls, and into a dark abyss, where she then grabs you and pulls you close.

"I have not felt flesh against my bone for aeons, Wade Wilson. Be gentle."

At this moment you hear a distant call, a shout. "Weapon X's genetic makeup has bonded! The healing factor is enabled! Dr.Killbrew, you've done it!"

Death looks at you with surprise as you are dragged back to your body, grabbing you by the hand in a desperate attempt to keep you.

"Nonononono nonononononono!" You cry as your soul is forced back into your own body, and the pain resumes.

"Mr. Wilson, you are cured. Unfortunately, there have been some complications." Dr.Killbrew says, eyeing you with what appears to be revulsion.

>[ ]"The fuck you talkin' about, Doc?"
>[ ] "Where am I? Where is she?"
>[ ] Write in

>>27010634
>Excuse me, I have a date with death, I will see you later.

>>27010634
[X] Write in
Sure as fuck don't FEEL Cured. Hey, where's the pretty lady?

>>27010634
>>[X] "Where am I? Where is she?"

/co/mrade reporting in, I'll be watching this with great interest.

>>27010634
>[ ] "Where am I? Where is she?"
>[ ] Write in

"Where's my damn Mojito?!?"

(I'm a slow-ass typer, broskis. Excuse my snail pace. Also this is my first quest.)

>>27010634
>>[ ]"The fuck you talkin' about, Doc?"

>>27010634
>[x]"The fuck you talkin' about, Doc?"

>>27010634
> write in

Who gives someone with the name Killbrew a medical degree!

>>27010634
"You fucking asshole! It wasn't hurting, for once it wasn't hurting you miserable fuck and now it is. I had a mojito, and it was going to be delicious!

What the fuck do you mean by complications?"

>>27010671
>(I'm a slow-ass typer, broskis. Excuse my snail pace. Also this is my first quest.)
Bullshit, you crank out around 300 every 15 minutes, that's plenty fast.

>>27010671
my fave QM takes 30 mins on average to tally votes and write.


I just hope you go off the rails eventually PB. Reenacting the comic will get old after awhile

>>27010725
>I just hope you go off the rails eventually PB. Reenacting the comic will get old after awhile
The quest will all of its own.
Metagaming takes care of that without fail.

>[X ] "Where am I? Where is she?"

"Huh? Where am I? Where is she? AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY DAMN MOJITO!" You scream, then after remembering the circumstances that brought you here, calm down. "I certainly don't feel cured, doc."

"Well the good news is, the cancer will not be killing you any time soon. The bad news is, that it's still there. Your new healing factor is preventing you from dying, but it has left a toll on your body." He shows you your reflection in a mirror. The thing looking back at you looks like mulched , raw hamburger meat that a kid sculpted into a face.

>[ ] "GAH?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?"
>[ ] Stunned Silence
>[ ] Go for the Doc's throat (1d20+1 Strength, DC 17)
>[ ] Write in

>>27010771
>write in
Oh god I look like I go on /b/

Rolled 10 + 1

>>27010771
>[x] Go for the Doc's throat (1d20+1 Strength, DC 17)

GODDAMN CANADIAN HEALTHCARE!

>>27010771
>[]Write in

Gods, I must be really hungry... when was the last time I had a decent burger?

>>27010771
Well, it's an improvement

>>27010771
"Well fuck. Fuck, fuckity fuck fuck."

>>27010771
>Get that mirror out of my face! I want my fucking mojito!

>>27010887
Whoops. I really wish /tg/ didn't carry the name across threads.

>>27010887
Make it so.

>>27010771
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?
WHY
WHY
WHY
WHY
WHY!"
and just run down the hallway screaming about how merc work will be fuck hard to get looking like this.

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>>27010771

>>[ ] Write in

"You are so horribly cosmetic surgeon! I don't even look like Brad Pitt! Now I'm hunger for hamburger for some strange reason..."

>[X] All dem Write-ins

"Get that mirror out of my face! I want my fucking mojito! You fucking asshole! It wasn't hurting, for once it wasn't hurting you miserable fuck and now it is. I had a mojito, and it was going to be delicious! GODDAMN CANADIAN HEALTHCARE!"

You start thrashing about, and the Doctor's assistants hold you down.

"If you can't behave, Mr.Wilson, I will have to get my associate Ajax to accommodate you in the Deadpool."

Make a Strength check to wriggle out from the assistant's grips. (1d20+1, DC 15)

>>27010948
Robert Downey Jr is prettier.

>>27010771
>write in
I'M COMING MOJITO!

>>27010771
ask if he knows any good plastic surgeons?
cause i think we may be able to get away with that, because of the fact that the only reason why deadpool hasn't tried in comics is because he is literally fuck insane.

>>27010978
Forgot to write
*shoot ourself

Rolled 16 + 1

>>27010965

Rolled 13 + 1

>>27010965
ok i'll admit i laughed fucking hard at this.
rolling

Rolled 18 + 1

>>27010965
Nat 1 inc

Rolled 6 + 1

>>27010965
Rollin

Rolled 19

>>27010965

Rolled 10 + 1

>>27010965
AAhaahahhahahaahahahaha

Rolled 4 + 1

>>27011014
We got our success, nobody else roll!

>>27011040
Oh the ironing.

>>27011002
>>27011004
>>27011008
>19

You pry yourself from the grips of the assistants, and now you have a choice. Do you strangulate the everliving fuck outta the Goddamn Doctor, or do you make a break for the door and try to escape?

>[ ]Strangulate that fuck.
>[ ]Make a break for it!
>[ ]Write-in

>>27011076
Ask what the hell's going on?

>>27011076
>write in
Kiss him watch him be disgusted then run after saying "meep meep"

>>27011076
[X]Strangulate that fuck.

FOR THE MOJITO!

>>27011106
>Kiss him watch him be disgusted then run after saying "meep meep"

Classic!

>>27011076
>>[ ]Make a break for it!

This is now a Pacifist Challenge!

>>27011117
>>27011120
>>27011106

You leap up, kissing the Doc square on the mouth, then shouting 'MEEP MEEP!" You bolt out the door, and the assistants, as well as some guards armed with batons and tasers, start chasing you down the hallway. Make an Agility check to evade them, then sneak out of the building.

(1d20+3, DC 18)

>>27011076
Huh.

But if there's any medical equipment like Scalpels? If yes, then
>[ ]Grab Scalpels

then

>[ ]Make a break for it

Best to be armed with something.

Rolled 9

>>27011194
Evade?... Fuck that. CHARGE THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS

Rolled 7 + 3

>>27011194

Let do some fabulous jump flip!

Rolled 8 + 3

>>27011194
Damn, too late with>>27011208

Still, can roll at least.

Rolled 10 + 3

>>27011194

>>27011208
COSGROVE!, PPQ Was my inspiration for starting DPQ! I stoled your system, btdubs.

Rolled 12 + 3

>>27011194
>>27011194

Rolled 3 + 3

>>27011194

>>27011194
G-g-g-goooooo~

Also
[X] Scream FUCK YOOOOOUUUU~

Rolled 13 + 3

Let's try again.

>>27011194

>>27011239
I noticed, by the way, you might want to fix this:

>4) Reroll. If this is used, however, your Parker Luck will grow…

Since you're using Insanity, after all.

> these asstastic rolls
FUCK.
EVERYTHING.

>>27011076

Write in: Take ourself hostage!

"I HAVE A HOSTAGE! No one moves or the handsome fellow gets it"

>>27011341
Hue

>>27011223
>>27011226
>>27011228

You get tackled by one of the faster guards, who then proceeds to taze you until you relieve your hospital smock, drooling into the facility floor. The guard proceed to taze and beat your head until you're dragged to a different table, where you're strapped in.

Your vision is blurry, but surprisingly, it fixes itself quick. You were sure you had a major concussion, and probably some electrical burns, but they subsided quickly.

"Hello, Mr.Wilson. Welcome to the Deadpool. My name is Ajax, and I will be... accommodating you today."

The man standing before you is wearing a sleeveless turtleneck with a giant white A embroidered on the front, and combat fatigues and boots. His arms are mechanical, and he uses one to collapse your windpipe. You nearly pass out, but then you don't. Fuck.

>[ ] "Ajax? Isn't that some sort of bathroom cleaner?"
>[ ] "FUCK YOU!"
>[ ] Write-in

>>27011341
Haha! Madness

>>27011391
>Write in
WHAT ARE YOU MY PROM DATE YOU UGLY SACK OF SHIT!?
FUCK YOU!

>>27011391
>[] Write in

Does Mr. Clean know you're using his arms?

>>27011391
Ajax...they...cough..need you in the dish room. They're outa soap

>>27011391
>>27011435

>[ ] "Ajax? Isn't that some sort of bathroom cleaner?"

>>27011391
[X] Write-in
Rant about Canadian healthcare some more.

>>27011391
>write in
Hey did you know that you have a stain on your shirt
*punches his face when he looks down

>>27011427
>Write in

>Giant A embroidered on the front

Where's Simon and Theodore?

Supper break, Be back soon guys!

>>27011427
I second this

>>27011467
OH FUCK YOu

File: 1378254476597.jpg-(59 KB, 442x400, Deadpool_56.jpg)

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>>27011467
And now we wait.

File: 1378254481323.gif-(597 KB, 320x192, KENSHIRO.gif)

597 KB GIF

>>27011391
ATATATATAATATATATATATA

>>27011391
"Hey Alvin. Where are the rest of the chipmunks?"

>>27011391
>"Who wears a sleeveless turtleneck?"
and
>"The Deadpool? Lousy Canadian Healthcare, I knew I should have gone with the back alley doctor. He seemed less shady."

>>27011503
damnit Cos
quest when youre off the clock

>>27011467
Aww dammit.

>>27011487
>>27011459
Chipmunkmind

>>27011391
>write in
This is the last time I come to Canada for an abortion

>>27011503

I'm going to be honest, I wasn't using my name as a player over here so you wouldn't think your player base was distracted...but now you're here...so...let the quips flow in 2 threads

>>27011517
> implying Cos is ever off the clock
No.

File: 1378255123560.jpg-(31 KB, 393x640, ajax.jpg)

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On a related note, our captor looks like a giant tool.

>>27011713

I like his shark fist thingy. It looks like a shark.

>>27011485
This.

Or >>27011458

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>>27011713
Speaking of how things look, how's our Deadpool outfit gonna look when we get it?
High tech?
Tacticool?
X-Men black and yellow?
Some other thing?

I am personally a fan of pic related.

>>27011802
Starting out I think we're Garbage Pail Deadpool.

File: 1378255506495.jpg-(57 KB, 361x960, 1113220-430951_deadpool_g(...).jpg)

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>>27011802
generally his outfit is the same.barring a team affiliation

Here's one he wore during a Weapon X stint

>>27011850
Are we musclepool or skinnypool?

File: 1378255616514.png-(209 KB, 223x546, tumblr_libay22mCz1qzdn8no1_400.png)

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>>27011802

Maidpool!

File: 1378255726659.jpg-(42 KB, 425x509, thats-kawaii.jpg)

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>>27011889

File: 1378255770619.jpg-(27 KB, 600x300, not deadpool and Hugh Jackman.jpg)

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>>27011878
as long as we're not this one

>>27011924
What IS the history of that image?

>>27011938
What if that thing just kind of shows up.

Like we're in a bar or something and *poof* there he is.

>"You were uglier in Green Lantern."

File: 1378255915353.jpg-(73 KB, 529x897, 1438162-x_force_deadpool.jpg)

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>>27011850
here's his x-force one

>>27011954
Either it's shopped or that guy likes to lift while he watches K-on. Take your pick.

>>27011954
Black bodybuilder with a Japanese schoolgirl love pillow.

Happens every day.

>>27011954
It's shopped.

>>27011993
>Deadpool has a Death love pillow

"Oh, hi! Didn't see you there. I mean where you're standing. Not on the pillow. I could see that fine. I should stop talking."

"WHAT ARE YOU MY PROM DATE YOU UGLY SACK OF SHIT!? FUCK YOU!"

Ajax punches you in the gut.

"Does... does Mr. Clean know you're using his arms?"

He backhands you with his cybernetic fist.

"Ajax...they...cough..need you in the dish room. They're outta soap."

He knees you in the groin. Ow.

"If this is what Canadian Healthcare is like, I'm happy with my Obamacare."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ajax yells, breaking your nose.

"Who wears sleeveless turtlenecks? Oh yeah, where are Simon and Theodore?"

He breaks your jaw, kicking you in the knee, breaking it backwards.

>[ ] "AGGGH! STOP!"
>[ ] "S'that all ya got? Why don't you juss go 'ead and kill me? IF YOU CAN, FUCKER!"
>[ ] Write-in

>>27012252

"You are fat and stuff..."

>>27012252
>write in
I think we got off on the wrong *kicks him* foot

>>27012252
>[ ] "S'that all ya got? Why don't you juss go 'ead and kill me? IF YOU CAN, FUCKER!"

Get him angry and then try to use that.

>>27012252
>"S'that all ya got? Why don't you juss go 'ead and kill me? IF YOU CAN, FUCKER!"
>Write-in
>"Not likely, though, that Project X bullshit they shot into me took. It hurts, actually kill me."

>>27012252
>>[ ] "S'that all ya got? Why don't you juss go 'ead and kill me? IF YOU CAN, FUCKER!"
>>[ ] Write-in

You're not even going to work over the ribs? AMATEUR!

>>27012296
>It hurts, but I don't think you can actually kill me."

Damn, where did the rest of that sentence go?

>>27012252
>>[ ] Write-in

"You real suck at this!!! The infected guys in Crossed comic can do it much better than you!"

>>27012289
Or you know have in kill us. What do we have here an ex girlfriend and a mad scientist. On the other side we have hot chick and MOJITOs

>>27012252
>[ ] "S'that all ya got? Why don't you juss go 'ead and kill me? IF YOU CAN, FUCKER!"

"Please, I've been whacked harder by a fairy queen. Unless..."

>>27012252
so your strong enough to fight me but can you fight all these blood stains?

god dam I cant tell which is shiner your chrome dome or arm baldy baldy bald

is that a wrench in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

>>27012252
>write in
Hey what's that behind you

>>27012252
>AGGH! STOP!
>Eyelash! *rubs eye furiously*
>'k, good.

>>27012252
I laughed way to hard its this post
>[X] "S'that all ya got? Why don't you juss go 'ead and kill me? IF YOU CAN, FUCKER!"

>>27012252
>[X] "S'that all ya got? Why don't you juss go 'ead and kill me? IF YOU CAN, FUCKER!"

>>27012252
>So, are those arms multi-speed or just an on-off switch? Can they switch out for something studded?

>>27012252
>write in
Whisper " I have the weirdest boner right now"

"You are fat and stuff..." You moan weakly. You think for a second. Maybe if he kills you, you can see her again. AND GET YOUR MOJITO!

"S'that all ya got? Why don't you juss go 'ead and kill me? IF YOU CAN, FUCKER! Not likely, though, that Project X bullshit they shot into me took. It hurts, but I don't think you can actually kill me."

"I'm counting on it Wilson." He grabs your shoulder, crushing bone into dust.

"ARRRRRGGGH! You really suck at this!!! The infected guys in Crossed comic can do it much better than you!"

He rips you out of your binds, dragging your face along the floor. Now might be your chance. What do you do?

>[ ] Struggle to escape (Agility, 1d20+3, DC 17)
>[ ] Fight Back (Strength, 1d20+1, DC 22)
>[ ] Write-in

Rolled 4 + 3

>>27012459
>[x] Struggle to escape (Agility, 1d20+3, DC 17)
We'll kill him later, when we have firepower.

>>27011878
We have a +1 to STR, but I'm still gonna say skinnypool.
Why? Because it could have been a +3STR, Anon.

Rolled 8 + 3

>>27012459
"HAH! Played right into my hand!"

Rolled 11 + 3

>>27012459
>[ ] Struggle to escape (Agility, 1d20+3, DC 17)

We will kill him once we have a stabby object.

>>27012459
>write in
Fart very loudly or tie his shoes together

Rolled 8 + 3

>>27012459
>[ ] Struggle to escape (Agility, 1d20+3, DC 17)

Man, people never learn from the old Cliches, do they?

Rolled 16 + 3

>>27012459
>[ ] Struggle to escape (Agility, 1d20+3, DC 17)

Rolled 2 + 3

>>27012459
>[ ] Struggle to escape (Agility, 1d20+3, DC 17)
Keep shittalking him.

>>27012485
That was supposed to be struggle. I think I need to go do other stuff, because the post interface is removing parts of my posts.

>>27012459
>"Wow, Ajax really is thorough when it comes to mopping those tough surfaces!"

>>27012459
> 1d20 + 1 DC 22
Fuck.

Rolled 7

>>27012459
>(Strength, 1d20+1, DC 22)
Yousonofabitch

Rolling anyway

Rolled 18

>>27012459

Rolled 14 + 3

>>27012459
Struggle.

>>27012479
>>27012485
>>27012489

You struggle to escape his grip, but to no avail, he pins you to the wall by your throat, leaning in close, taking extra effort to crush your windpipe, leaving your quips as inaudible gasps.

"I know what will shut you up." He drags you to an oxygen machine, strapping you back into the table. He straps a helmet to your face, the twists the oxygen tank's valve, reducing your air supply to nearly nothing. Your lungs are on fire, burning, and Ajax then resumes the beatings, your wounds from the last bout already healed. The agony is unbearable.

Your screams are silent, no air to scream with...

You feel yourself slipping...

"Come to me, Wade..."

Ajax turns the air back on. You gasp, and open your mouth to try and taunt him more, but then the air is gone again.

"Waaaaade...I need you, come to me..."

Ajax turns the air back on again, then takes you off the machine. He then drags you to a cell next to a gaunt, withered, man, and locks you in.

"Cook in here for a while. I need some sleep. We'll resume this tomorrow."

(BRB, Then we will resume from here.)

>>27012697
The gaunt figure looks at you, crawls over, and leans over you, breathing heavy on your face. "Hi, my name is Worm. Welcome to the Deadpool. What's your name?"

You stare at this skeletal looking man, and get caught thinking about death, her milky white skin/bone, her cold but sensual touch, her buxom bosoms that could kill...

"What's your name, man?"

>[ ] "Burt Reynolds."
>[ ] "Wade Wilson."
>[ ] "What's a Deadpool?"
>[ ] Write-in

>>27012697
Turn toward withered man

"So, I for one with the complimentary massage wasn't quite so Swedish"

>>27013090
Wade

>>27013090
Ms. Jackson, Janet if you're nasty

>>27013090
>write in
The name is bond... James Bond

>>27013090
> "What's a Deadpool?"

>>27013090
>write in
Find something and begin trying to kill ourself

>>27013090
What's a Deadpool?

>>27013090
>[ ] "What's a Deadpool?"

>>27013091
>>27013116
>>27013099
>>27013118
>>27013133
"The name's Bond...James Bond. Actually it's Wade. Sorry. So, what's a Deadpool?"

The man, who kinda reminds you of Gollum, hops around the room on his feet and hands.

"The Deadpool is where Weapon X stores all it's failures, alive and dead. They torture us to see if they can glean any information from the failures, then when we're dead, the toss us into a pit. The pit looks like an old swimming pool, so the guards started calling it the Deadpool. Ajax is the warden here, and his word is law. I heard some of the other patients talking about him, and it turns out Ajax isn't even his real name. It's Francis. But the last person to call him Francis got a fist through their skull."

Speaking of fisting skulls, you had a lovely corpse bride that was waiting for you on the other side. You stand up, woozy from the torture, but quickly healing. "Damn it." you mutter, and run headfirst into the wall, splitting your head.

"Waaade..."

You slam your head again, then you collapse, blood pooling on the floor. She's in the room now. You see your body below you.

>[ ] "Baaaaaaaby!"
>[ ] "Where's my Mojito?"
>[ ] Write-in

>>27013277
>>[ ] "Baaaaaaaby!"


we can always get another mojito

>>27013277
>baaaaaaby. Do you still have my MOJITO!

Rolled 1

>>27013277
>>[ ] "Baaaaaaaby!"
Add some sexy grunts and poses

>>27013277
>[x] "Baaaaaaaby!"

>>27013277
> "Baaaaaaaby!"
I'm commmmming to you!

>>27013277
Going with This >>27013310

>>27013295
>>27013310
>>27013320

"Baaaaaaaby! Do you still have my Mojito?" You ask, and she slips into your arms, conjuring another Mojito from the nether. You take a sip, and it's the most refreshing thing you've ever tasted.

"We don't have long, Wade. Even now I can feel this power of your ripping you back to life. I know it may be hard, but don't speak." She says, plunging her icy lips upon yours, her alabaster fingers running down your scarred back, sending shivers of delight down your spine.

"Mrrrrow." You purr, as her hand inches down your chest towards the bulge in your smock...

Aaaand you're awake. And the door is open. And Worm is gone. And there's an alarm going off.

>[ ] Stay in your Cell
>[ ] Go adventuring.
>[ ] Hit your head again, maybe Death can finish what she was promising...
>[ ] Write in.

>>27013452
>go adventuring
"Come on mister frodo we have a ring to destroy."
Lead the old man out of the cage

>>27013452
> Go adventuring.

>>27013452
>[x] Go adventuring.

I hear freezing to death in the snow is quite peaceful

>>27013452
[X] Adventure

It's the only choice.

>>27013452
ADVENTURE
We can be near death later.

>>27013483
>>27013487
>>27013489
>>27013514
So, apparently, there's some kinda riot. As you run through the facility, simultaneously searching for weapons, clothing, Worm, and a way out, you spot a giant iron door. On the door is a metal warning sign.

WARNING: WEAPON LOCKDOWN ROOM
Authorized Personnel Only.
1.Do not remove the Weapon.
2.Do not stare directly at the Weapon.
3. Do not antagonize the Weapon.

"Ooooh. Weapon." You say to yourself, and ponder whether you should ignore the sign and head in or just keep moving.

>[ ] Disregard warning, acquire Weapon.
>[ ] Leave it be, it probably sucks anyway. M1911s are where it's at.
>[ ] Write in.

>>27013612
> Disregard warning, acquire Weapon.

>>27013612
[X] Acquire Weapon

>>27013612
>[ ] Disregard warning, acquire Weapon

they told us not to do it

SO WE HAVE TO DO IT

>>27013612
>get a weapon
Fuck you sign your not the boss of us. Are we talking in third person plural now. Damn we hit our head hard

>>27013612
Releasing the weapon would cause indiscriminate chaos and destruction. So obviously that's what we're gonna do.

>>27013637
>>27013638
>>27013640
>>27013647
>>27013649

"Fuck you sign, you're not the boss of us. Are we talking in third person plural now? Damn we must have hit our head hard."

You open the door, to see a control panel and a two way mirror looking into a cell filled with liquid. Suspended by cables in the liquid is a short, furry dude with a mechanical helmet on his head. Must be some kinda lumberjack. Being Canada and all.

There's a release button, that will open his cell here and now, and you also see a flush button, which you assume flushes the lumberjack to the outside of the facility.

>[ ]Flush the fucker.
>[ ] OPEN DAT SHIT UP!
>[ ]Walk away slowly...

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>>27013765
Oops, forgot picture. >:3

>>27013765
My momma always told me "wade if you are ever In a room with some vats of some strange goo, in some secret government building. Always press the button to release the lumberjack."

>>27013765
>[ ] OPEN DAT SHIT UP!
We'll open the box! We know it's full of precious booty!

>>27013765

Open it up!
Start singing the Canadian National Anthem!

"Oh Canada, Oh Canada, My home and Natiiive Laaannd.."
And that's all that he can remember.

>>27013765
>OPEN THAT SHIT UP
VIVA LA REVOLUTION
ARRRRIBA ARIBA UNDELE

>>27013765
[X]Flush the fucker.

>>27013765

FLUSH!!!
He's a Lumberjack and He's OK.
He Sleeps all night and He Works all Day...

>>27013765
>>[X] OPEN DAT SHIT UP!

>>27013765
> OPEN DAT SHIT UP!

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>>27013765
>>[ ] OPEN DAT SHIT UP!

>>27013776
EWW Virtual Boy! Disgusting!

>>27013815
>ANDELE
Do you even Speedy Gonzales?

>>27013899
look man i dont know how to spell it so im just using letter sounds and giving it my best try

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>>27013801
>>27013802
>>27013803
>>27013815
>>27013822
>>27013837
"My momma always told me 'Wade if you are ever in a room with some vats of some strange goo, in some secret government building. always press the button to release the lumberjack."

BOOP.

The Liquid in the cell begins to drain, and the lumberjack begins sniffing the air. His nose stops sniffing and his gaze fixes on you.

"Um...Oh CAAAANADAAA, OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAAAAAND...Uh, that's really all I remember."

The lumberjack roars, and claws come out of his hands. Oh fuck. He starts charging for you. Doublefuck. Fight or Flight? You could lead him towards the guards, maybe ride him into battle against Ajax?

>[ ]ALL ABOARD THE LUMBERJACK EXPRESS!
>[ ] RUN RUN RUN RUN
>[ ] Write-in

>>27014050
>ALL ABOARD THE LUMBERJACK EXPRESS!

>>27014050
>>[ ]ALL ABOARD THE LUMBERJACK EXPRESS!

Did hit LV 40? Cuz I just got a mount?

>>27014050
Try to punch that virtual boy off his face

>>27014050
We run for now, so as to maximize the collateral damage later.

>>27014050

When in doubt, MOUNT THE CANADIAN LUMBERJACK!!!

>>27014050
>[X]ALL ABOARD THE LUMBERJACK EXPRESS!

>>27014050
>write in
Jump on his back and ride him

>>27014220
That what lumberjack express means friend

>>27014068
>>27014085
>>27014105
>>27014149

"When in doubt, MOUNT THE CANADIAN LUMBERJACK!!! ALL ABOARD THE LUMBERJACK EXPRESS!"

You assume a readying stance, so that you can leap up on his shoulders when he gets close, and hopefully smashing buttons on that Visualboy looking doohickey will get him to run for you.

Agility check, DC 17! (1d20+3, Maybe time for a preemptive DP point? Up to you guys.)

Rolled 11 + 3

>>27014230

Rolled 7 + 3

>>27014230
do we have to call it before we use it?

Rolled 18 + 3

>>27014230
Ghost Riders in the sky!

Rolled 5 + 3

>>27014230
Use a Deadpool point. This is about as Deadpooly a thing as we can get.

>>27014230
the rolls in this quest are brutal

>>27014262
Our savior!

Rolled 12 + 3

>>27014230

Deaths loving Embrace awaits us should we fail...

So Win-Win for us!

While we're at it, ask Weapon dude about the yellow boxes. Surely the yellow boxes are a result of the gunk they injected into our veins, right?

>>27014329
>yellow boxes
These are blue.

>>27014344
I reject your colour scheme and replace it with my own! It's feng shui stuff.

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>>27014344
No... I guess he meant THESE yellow boxes.

Deadpool can hear the narrator.

Deadpool can hear YOU.

>>27014419
>Deadpool can hear YOU.
Of course he can hear us, we're him. I mean us. You know what I mean.

>>27014419
Wait, but aren't we playing Deadpool?
So, we're basically playing his schizophrenia.

/tg/ is schizophrenia.

>>27014460
No you dont

>>27014419
I know which yellow boxes. But alas, in here, his thoughts, actions, everything, is contained in these neat blue boxes.

>>27014230
"Yeehaw!"

>>27014460
No no, you don't understand...
he can hear YOU.

He can hear you tiping in your keyboard.
He can hear as you switched tabs to fap while the OP didn't post.
He can hear you as you sleep.

Don't look behind you.

>>27014468

As is the case with all characters we play. Thusly all characters are Deadpool. meaning Deadpool is all characters. meaning that behind every face is a Deadpool waiting to shine... too bad Deadpool will stop Deadpool from Deadpooling that which Deadpool Deadpools...

>>27014499
Time to crawl back out of the little tunnel into the back of your own head.

>>27014262
NO DEADPOOL POINT NEEDED.

"YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW!" You yell, as you jump up on his shoulders, smashing buttons on the Visualboy, eventually by fluke figuring out how to make him run and slash.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

You run the lumberjack through the facility, having your friendly neighborhood lumberjack slash through pretty much everything.

"NEXT STOP, ARMORY, MY MINION!"

You ride him to a weapons cache, smacking the Visualboy until the lumberjack passes out from the shorted electricity. You find a full set of your favorite things, complete with skintight black and orange ninjaesque costume to cover your fuglyness. You woulda went with red, but beggers can't be choosers.

You found an AK-47 with a strap and 3 clips(30 Round), 2 Makarov pistols, with holsters and 3 clips for each gun(7 Rounds), as well as 2 Grenades. You love grenades. It's like Christmas came early this year.

>[ ] Fight your way out.
>[ ] Fight your way to Ajax

>>27014581
>fight our way to Francis

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>>27014581
I KEEP FORGETTING PICTURES!

>>27014581

Ajax will want to stop people from escaping. Probably while securing his escape...

Thusly Francis is the Exit. TALLY HO!!!

>>27014581
"Oh, Francieee!!"

>>27014581
>clips
Bad Deadpool! Magazine! Not clip! Clips are what you use to load magazines with!

Also, trigger discipline!

>>27014610
Not enough pouches.

>>27014581
[X] Fight your way to Ajax

We need to clean up first, dohoho.

>>27014581
>fight our way to Francis
VERILY

>>27014581
>[ ] Fight your way to Ajax

Ohhhh Fraaannnncccisssssss

>>27014599
>>27014619
>>27014622
>>27014623

Bad Wade! Magazine! Not Clip.

"OH, FRAAAAAAANCIEEEEE!"

Three guards, armed with pistols, are down the hallway, alerted by the Black and Orange, armed to the teeth ninja.

"Lay down your weapons and return to your cell!"

>[ ] Comply
>[ ] AK-47
>[ ] Pistolero
>[ ] FRAG OUUUUUT!

>>27014772
Why not everything?

>>27014772
>[ ] AK-47

>>27014772
>Pistolero.
Let's save the heavy stuff for the guy with the robot arms. We'll need it.

>>27014772
>pistols

>>27014797
Because we should save the grenades to shove down Fancis' throat

>>27014772
>[ ] A write in is always fine.

>>27014772
>[ ] Pistolero

low power weapons for low power threats

>>27014772
>Black and Orange, armed to the teeth ninja.
"Fuck you, Deathstroke, you shitty RIPOFF!"

>[ ] Pistolero
Now hearing the Once Upon a Time in Mexico OST.

>>27014772
[X] Pistolero

Take our time, one shot to the head each. Whistle a tune while doing so.

>>27014811
>>27014812
>>27014871

>[ X]Pistolero

Gimme a Agility roll. Experienced Mercenary applies, giving you a +5 bonus.

(1d20+5, DC 14)

Rolled 16 + 5

>>27014930

Rolled 2 + 5

>>27014930

Rolled 14 + 5

>>27014930

Rolled 20 + 5

>>27014930
Rollin

Rolled 8 + 5

>>27014930

>>27014957
Fuck yeah

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>>27014957

>>27014945
god damn cosgrove, why do you roll so well outside of your own quests? also:

>we literally rode wolverine to a weapons cache
we totally need to bring him with us when we inevitably escape from the hellhole known as the weapon X program.

>>27015022
but he's not housebroken

>>27015038
That comes with owning a pet

>>27015038
Buuuuutttttt mmmmmooooommmmm

>>27015038
>implying that matters
>implying we will care when we find out hes a serious alcoholic and we just go roaming accross canada getting drunk off our asses doing stupid shit for the sake of getting our minds off that bullshit.

>>27014945
>>27014946
>>27014955
>>27014957
Eh, first 20 of the night, I'll count it just this once.

As you walk down the hallway, whistling 'Singing in the Rain' you quickly and cleanly fir two shots, one through the eye of one guard, and the other through both skulls of the other guards.

"HELL YEAH, CRITICAL HIT! I GOT A TASTY GRENADE FOR YOU, FRANCIS!"

You continue through the hallways, 6 bullets left in each Makarov, and reach the centre of the riot. Francis is in the middle of it all, smashing skulls left and right, bodies flying everywhere.

"HEY FRAAAAAAANCIS!" You yell.

"WILSON?" He roars.

>[ ] WRITE IN, THE BALLS IN YOUR COURT, MOFUCKAS.

>>27015135
Catch! (Throws grenade at his head)

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>>27015135
>Toss grenades, shoot them when they're next to Ajax's face

>>27015135
"Ummmm.... YOUR MOTHER!"

*grenade*

>>27015135
>I heard you like mudkips *throw a blue grenade with mudkips written on it

>>27015135
Slow-mo frolic through a field of flowers, arms outstretched, towards each other's loving embrace.
Except with bullets and explosions and grievous bodily harm.

>>27015135
"EAT IT, JUST EAT IT!
Grenade to the mouth!

>>27015135
>GAZE INTO THE FIST OF WADE!
Punch him with a grenade.

>>27015135
"Give me a hug!"

>>27015135
Have a grenade in our hand and pull the pin, don't let go of the lever, when he comes yelling in to grab us or punch us shove it down his throat.

>>27015135
"Oh Francis, I missed you do much. I made you your favorite meal honey bunch." Grenade thrown at face. "Now choke on it and say hi to my girlfriend."

>>27015156
>>27015161
>>27015168
>>27015174
>>27015203
>>27015207
>>27015234
>>27015275

Grenade seems to be consensus, melee or ranged toss?

>>27015311
oh lets toss it

we'll probably botch anyway

>>27015311
Melee. If possible, have our mount swipe at him.

>>27015311
Shove it down his throat

>>27015311
Melee, it's not like we care about it going off near us.

Shoot at him while he's closing the distance, then grenade down the throat or right in his face.

>>27015311
Do what >>27015161 said, just to make sure he doesn't dodge it.

>>27015332
Wolvie's unconscious; we're going solo against Ajax.

>>27015311
Toss it