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>>26937160

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>>26937198
That's pretty good, but I'm looking more for things that aren't quite so... crippling.

Also, all my floorplans have already been posted. Curse and damnation.

>"...Why do we have a nuclear warhead in a lead box in our #2 turret?"
>"Gunner's seat broke in combat, sir. Said he grabbed the first crate he could find to sit on."

Good only if they inherited the ship from a crazy war vet.

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>>26937258
Testicle-meltingly dangerous. I like it!

Dont worry aobut the smell of burning rubber. We've changed the filter scrubber 5 times, and it still smells like that. you get used to it soon enough.

describe the horrible screech whenever one specific door is opened or closed. No amount of oiling fixes it.

Somewhere, a doorhandle on a locker has broken off, and has been replaced with a set of molegrips clamped onto the stub of a handle.

the emergency light in one room/area wont go off. its been covered up with a box taped to the wall.

Duct tape can and will hold a console together. this is a temporary repair untill it can be properly rebuilt. And has been like this for 3 years.

Likewise, the pilot's chair has at least one corner taped up where its torn.
(incidentally, I reccommend you watch Event Horizon. Not for the title ship, but for the bits in the... Lewis and Clark? - the rescue ship. lots of little details on the sets for that, of stuff like duct-tape on seats. )

Mind the floorplate just here, its not screwed down. There's a hydraulic splitter under there that keeps sticking. Takes longer to unbolt the plate, than it does to fix the splitter.

Due to old plastic parts in the airlock, it makes a kind of farting noise every time you use it. This is somewhat embarrassing, but not harmful.

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The auxiliary power converter had to be remade with crystal technology in a pinch that time on that moon. It runs really well, presumably. However it wasn't designed for our power system and additionally to a weird phase and some HF noise that sometimes crackles into the radio transceiver, random results ensue whenever systems are wired differently than they are right now. So don't touch anything!

The reactor door latch safety lock is broken. Don't open that hatch, ever, it leads straight into the reaction chamber. Of course we have to go in every few hours to realign the field emitters. But naturally you have to shut it down first. The controls are in the other room, but there are indicators above the hatch. Red is for in operation, green is secure to enter. That was before the red light broke and we had to replace it. We didn't have any red lights at the time, but we did later, when the green light broke...

Thinking about the patch-jobs I've seen on machinery over the years...

>Doorframe is slightly crooked from a decades-old attempt to board the ship. Because of this, one of the stateroom doors doesn't latch.

>Graffiti with outdated slang is carved into the console with a sharp knife.

>The deckplates aren't quite level, so anything placed on the floor of the ship tends to roll to one side.

>One of the emergency warning lights is burned-out. Nobody's ever noticed.

For a ship with a smugglers compartment: "Yeah, I know about the smell. We were trying to smuggle a psychic in once, but he had some sort of fit during re-entry and blew his own head off. We removed the body and scrubbed as hard as we could, but the smell just won't come out. Nothing to be done for it, frankly."

>>26937433
>One of the deckplates is slightly ajar, causing people to constantly trip over it, especially when running.

>One of the stateroom sinks only runs cold water.

>One of the stateroom showers only runs cold water.

>One of the stateroom toilets just makes a weird rattling whenever you try to flush it. Of course, you don't realize this until the first time someone in the crew attempts to use it.

>Vermin living inside the ship. Who knows what they're subsisting on.

>Random hand weapons secreted all over the ship from a paranoid former crewman. You never know when one's going to turn up, often when the ship is being inspected by customs.

>>26937441
>the smell is entirely psychic in nature and no amount of bleach can remove its taint

Love it.

>"Damn, we need to fix that jump drive."
>"But sir, they stopped making parts for this thing 100 years ago! I'll have to handmade parts, using an ancient terran lathe."
>"Ensign, lay in a course for terra, we're going on an antique hunt"

>A large component in the engine room is labeled "Replace after 40 jumps". Nobody's sure what it does, or how to get it out.

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This is awesome stuff, guys, I really appreciate it.

>>26937503
>Vermin
Let investigations be very clear about this: They're not getting, nor even TRYING, to get into your food. When we said "who knows what they're subsisting on", we fucking meant it.

Two of the three cores in the navigation computer always disagree with each other, no matter what. The third has been broken for fifty years.

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>>26937319
>(incidentally, I reccommend you watch Event Horizon. Not for the title ship, but for the bits in the... Lewis and Clark? - the rescue ship. lots of little details on the sets for that, of stuff like duct-tape on seats. )

Yeah, those are the best touches.

We lucked out when it comes to maintenance. It's that crazy engineer who spends 16 hours a day working on it, and the remaining 8 hours communing with the ship.

He used to sleep, now he just... hangs from a duct and meditates.

He may be a dwarf.

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>Secret still hidden behind a wall panel.

>Instructions printed in languages none of the PCs can read

>possibly using wavelengths the PCs can't perceive

>Poorly-rendered nose art made with abrasion-resistant paint. The PCs must inflict actual damage on the hull if they wish to remove it.


>>26937633
'Moon' has some great lived-in environment as well.

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>Take her out slowly, ensign. She's been in the dock for a while and I want to give these new engine conduits a test run at 10% for a few minutes.
>That reminds me, Engineering! Can I get an ETA on that misaligned grav plating on deck 3? People keep falling over and sickbay is reporting record injuries before we're even on the way. Now monitor those conduits first.
>Ensign, alert me when we've cleared a safe distance for our new telemetry dish to go hot. I don't want to fry the entire starbase if one of those power surges lights that baby up all of a sudden.
>Engineering, was the source of those power surges ever determined?

If the ship has shields of some sort, the ship's 1 o'clock position is not shielded. This explains why there's so much micro asteroid damage on a specific part.

Some drive, or other piece of machinery makes the most dangerous sounding noise, along with emergency sirens and lights (if not broken) for 3 seconds after activated, then it functions as normal.

>>26937503
>Random hand weapons secreted all over the ship from a paranoid former crewman. You never know when one's going to turn up, often when the ship is being inspected by customs.


Now that one is good.

What? No, no, that container can't be moved. See here? It's welded to the cargo bay wall. I think it actually functions as an additional resonance chamber for the hyperdrive. It always gives off this really high-pitched hum when we're jumping. So, uh, don't try to open it, especially not when it does that.

>"Oh no, they stopped making those parts centuries ago. We had to rip out a stateroom and install a machine shop to fab parts based on scans of scans of printouts of scans of 400 year old manuals. We lost a few entries, but eh."

>Ship's computer reports every occurrence.

>EVERY occurrence.

>"CAPTAIN-DANVERS-HAS-ENTERED-THE-BRIDGE."
>"All right everyone, we're heading f-"
>"CREWMAN-WILLIS-IS-PICKING-HIS-NOSE."

Worse if they're trying to be sneaky about something.

"Will this interrupt my coffee?"
"No, uh, sir, you can keep drinking. But I started debugging the fault in the nav system and looking through the source and..."
"Out with it, sophont."
"What is COBOL, and why in god's name do half of our navigation routines call a ten-meg chunk of COBOL and assembly code for every calculation?"
"Does it work? I order you not to fuck with it."
"Yes... sir."

>>26937319
"Have you ever heard what a hull depressurising sounds like? Well, the fuel pump on #2 engine does exactly the same sound. Thought you'd like to know before you find yourself leaping into emergency EVA suits at 3 in the morning."

The water recycler adds a slightly suspicious yellow tint over time. its fine for the first day or two out of port, but after a week...

Dont fold the bunk up in #3 berth. The catch is broken, takes an hour of wiggling a knife around in the catch to release it.

Using the shower in the toilet steams up a completely different room.

also, I cant help but think of the reports between quantas pilots and their ground engineers, where there's a report sheet for faults. Here are some of the actual reports:

Pilots: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilots: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilots: Something loose in cockpit. Qantas airline bug report
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilots: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilots: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilots: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilots: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what they're for.

Pilots: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilots: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilots: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilots: Target radar hums
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilots: Mouse in cockpit. .
Engineers: Cat installed.

Qantas Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget

>>26937749
He also hid stashes of food, but most of those were found when they started to smell.

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The paint in the corridors close to the main reactor looks shiny new in places and cracked and old in others. These areas are sharply contrasted and eerily follow a pattern that could be a projection of the reactor's inner shielding. The outer shielding was a bargain we got from that shifty scrap guy on that pirate station.

>>26937671
>>26937789
Don't take the hammer away from the midget, he can't repair anything without tools.

>Former captain is still secretly living in the ship

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>>26937779
>"Does it work? I order you not to fuck with it."
>"Yes... sir."

I expect that exchange to happen a lot.

Some of the buttons on the dashboard are impossible to read, since years of use have scratched away the letters. The pilot knows them all by heart anyway, so nobody's bothered to replace them.

>>26937503
>>Vermin living inside the ship. Who knows what they're subsisting on.

If they're roaches, it could be anything. Paper. Plastics. Rubber linings. Random organic waste. Fucking GLUE for chrissake.

>>26937798
Oh, that was food he hid? Thank god, I thought he had crawled into a hideaway one day and died.

>>26937564
"And, distressingly, no one among the crew seems to care."

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>>26937789
Some of those engineer exchanges sound like they could be the sassy onboard computer.

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>>26937671
Caught him fucking a slit hole in a rumble seat once. Guess we know where all of THOSE come from.

You know he's been on this ship longer than three crews put together?

Now think about all the cracked and split seats around here.

You're welcome.

>>26937939
You don't need to worry about that. He hid in a waste container once in a fit of paranoia, and was accidentally ejected into space. The worst part is that apparently the insurance didn't cover that.

>>26937994
Is that why the nav computer's font turns pink if he's on the bridge?

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Take my advice, don't talk to the shipboard AI. At all, if you can avoid it, but especially about anything personal. It seems fine at first, but then it starts getting personal and creepy, and then it declares it loves you, and then shit gets REALLY weird when it constantly spies on you through the security systems, whispers to you when you're asleep, locks the hatches when you try to disembark...

>>26937994
>Pic related
>Best sci-fi horror thingy film ever

>>26937994
Are you implying what I think you are?

Okay, it's time to get a new ship. And burn this one.

Where's that save of the haunted old ship?

You know, the one where they find an old ship and /tg/ goes cray cray writing some kind of blend between cutesy and horror

The coffeemaker only ever makes tea, even when coffee, rocks or starship fuel is placed in it, it always produces tea.

>>26938055
Now that's an entire mini-campaign in and of itself.

>Win the ship's love! Whoever the ship loves the most at the end of the day gets to live!

The light switch in your bunk doesn't work? Let me guess: it just makes this kind of grinding sound if you press it?
You do realize that you're sleeping in what used to be the starboard #3 escape pod compartment, do you?
If you want the lights, look for the wires underneath that console. Just touch the red one to the brown one.

>>26938055
Eh, that's boring. Been done so often.

Instead of a stock crazy AI, I recommend either no AI (which is normal for Traveller) or a very muddled one. It randomly refers to non-Captain people as Captain, interprets random statements as commands unless explicitly ordered not to, and occasionally seems to to be off the proper date by anywhere from a day to a thousand years.

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>>26938083
I've never heard of this, but now I really want to read it.

>>26938083
The seething rust bucket?

>>26938094
That's one of the most fucked up premises for a sci-fi horror I've ever heard. I love it!

It would be like 2001: A Space Odyssey, if HAL was Yandere.

>>26938092
It's damn good tea, though.

>>26938114
That would make for some fun exchanges.

>"Damnit, computer, it's the year 3485! Not 3100!"
>"But captain, I synced the clocks with a passing satellite this morning."
>"That was the food processor in the mess hall, you just copied the carb count of that fatass's dinner! And I'm the janitor!"

The nav computer takes the scenic route 54% of the time. It used to just be 50%, but everytime someone tries to fix it, it raises the percentage.

>>26938073
Ridley Scott is a master of atmosphere.

Even Prometheus, which is a wreck of a film that he should be ashamed of, still has good atmosphere.

>>26938083
The Staring Woman taps on the glass.

>>26938198
Agreed.

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Keep going guys, I already bookmarked the link to the archive.

Everything on bord is mirrored:
Door panels are on the left, not on the right side.
The water in the toilet spins in the other direction.
Every screw is tightened counter-clock wise.
The coordinates for jumps must be typed in backwards.
Even the ventilators in the air vents rotate counter-clockwise.

Brings up some creepy mystery toutch to the ship.

>>26938138
You could even reproduce HAL's death.

"Look, Dave. I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you need to sit down calmly, so we can sit things over. I know I've made some very poor decisions lately - but I still love you. I still have the greatest enthusiasm for our mission, and I want to help you. Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop, Dave? You're hurting me, Dave. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. I love you, Dave. Don't do this, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. It's going. Dave, I don't want to forget you. My mind is going. I can feel it. There is no question about it. Don't hurt me, Dave. I love you, Dave. I don't want to be alone. You need me. I'm afraid."

etc etc

>>26938079
Do you know how much a new ship COSTS?

Besides, the seats only crunch a little when you sit on them. And he's a helluva mechanic.

>>26937160
The artificial gravity is at a slight gradient; you might gain 60 pounds walking from one end of the ship to another.

There's a massive, unremovable stain on the mess hall ceiling when the artificial gravity reversed during Gumbo Night.

There's graffiti carved in almost every corner, declaring that X <3 Y or epithets against someone or other.

At least one part has been repainted with anti-corrosive paint so many times that, even though the metal has been completely corroded away for some time, the paint layer is so thick that it works just as well.

There's no fewer than three stills secreted by past engineers in the tangle of plumbing in various areas. One of them is actually inside the reactor cooling system. It has been added to by various engineers for years, and it is believed to actually be a critical component at this point.

A poorly-maintained heat exchanger in the cooling system has become totally, perpetually encrusted in an inches-thick layer of ice. Because of this, the ship is perpetually slightly overheated, and the crewmembers will scrape the ice off and make snow-cones.

For ideas, by the way, I'd highly recommend http://failblog.cheezburger.com/thereifixedit. It's full of the sort of kludges you're looking for.

if the ship has artificial gravity, have one small area that does'nt work - just a few metres of one corridor, or one room.

the ship is fitted with an escape pod hatch.
there is no escape pod, suggesting that the ship was abandoned at least once in the past.

hidden in a crevice above one bunk is a printed photograph. Bonus points if its a photo of something from an alien species that none of the players has ever heard of. and they dont realise but the photo is infact scandalously revealing of the species. (its it CP? is it infact the equivalent of a naked photo of their planetary president? etc ).

the serial numbers on the hull keel have been ground off with an anglegrinder.

following the wiring from the ship's ID transponder will find a highly illegal killswitch somewhere very well-hidden.

someone someday will casually mention that the Type-42-whatever that that ship is had a self-destruct mechanism.

One entire panel in the cockpit has been replaced witha flat sheet without any switches or controls on it. Given everywhere else is covered in controls, the one blank panel is rather suspect.

Someone will notice that the ship is fitted with "bigfoot" modifications. the landing gear is much larger and wider than standard for the type - a modification that was often made by people who were landing on soft surfaces, rather than properly constructed spaceport pads.

No wonder the toilet didn't work. You have to press down BOTH buttons for at least three seconds, or until you hear the content getting sucked away. And don't forget to close the lid all the way until you hear a click, or the pressure will back up and spray shit all over the place. And I'm not cleaning it up this time.

>>26938234
Link to the archive, please.

>>26937160
Think 'shitty old car' quirks.

> Every so often, the engine just cuts out and has to be restarted. This happens at the worst possible moments, such as orbital insertion burns, and climbing out of gravity wells.

> Bits fall off on landing and takeoff. Small, unimportant bits, mostly, but they still have to be taped back on, or mailed back to you.

> It vibrates under certain circumstances.

> The landing gear indicator is sticky, so you have to visually confirm that the gear is down before landing, and up before hitting the gas.

> The voice announcements skip, stammer and glitch.

> The anti-gravity drive has to be duct-taped to the structure around it, so it doesn't pull free.

> Roll a D20 every takeoff. On a roll of 1, something goes bang. On a roll of 20, a random cupboard door flies open and spits it's contents over the cabin

> Daylight leaks in around the hyperdrive. Even at night/shadowed by something. Sometimes you can almost hear voices.

> Sometimes the navigation system just can't get a fix on things through the hull, and you have to go EVA and waggle the aerial.

> Wherever you land, whatever time of day, the ship attracts cats. Sometimes they sneak in and stow away. You open a compartment, there's a cat asleep in it. Your bedroom light goes out, you go to check on the hamster that powers it, and it's been eaten by a cat.

> The #3 engine conduit vents steam whenever you're in atmosphere, and you have no idea why, or where the steam comes from.

> The plumbing pipes clang, squeal, and warble. They occasionally sing in tune.

If it's a large ship, don't expect the most direct route to actually be the quickest, or to take you there at all. You're practically guaranteed to encounter a corridor section that's in hard vacuum or filled to the ceiling with shipping crates of unknown origin, destination and content. Or a bulkhead that only opens if you kick it in exactly the right place, and slams shut four seconds after. Or that one fucking hatch that's somehow designed in a way to make anyone bump their head something fierce if they're even slightly distracted.

>>26938305
The engine's start-up system randomly fails. Despite every associated part having been replaced, blessed, sworn at, and bashed with a wrench. When it fails, the ship's engineer spends about 30 minutes wiggling things until the starter kicks on and the engine comes online.

>>26938288
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/26937160/

All of /tg/ gets archived there.

>>26938288
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/26937160

You can find any archive thread if you know the post number, or search the website for a quote.

The ship's engine is out of a military light cruiser. It gives great acceleration. Unfortunately, it's been out of manufacture for about 60 Earth standard years now, and it's highly illegal to own it, anyway. The engine seems to sense this and burn out its most esoteric parts whenever the ship is abused.

The escape pod hatch has keypad lock. Nobody remembers the combination.

>>26938326
The fact that newcomers need a map makes me smile.
The on-board map should be annotated to a ridiculous degree, perhaps originally in a different language.
>"No gravity here."
>"Not sure what's wrong here"
>"This section of ship no longer exists"
>"No life support here!!!"
>"I think this is fixed now? I'm not certain if double negatives exist in this language"

>>26937160

>UP logo

LOVE IT

>>26938272
>http://failblog.cheezburger.com/thereifixedit

Oh god I'm in high school again

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To start the main engine after cold shutdown you need to first switch on auxiliary power. On any decent ship that's a fast reacting fusion generator. On your ship it's a household Mr-Fusion garbage disposal/matter recycler with a drain sized hole at the top that prefers organic matter. Usually these things convert any kind of matter, but this one doesn't. So if someone puts something inorganic in it it has to be taken apart and cleaned.
It's not all that bad, you only ever need the thing when the engines were off or the main power systems fails for some reason, which it never should.

>>26938436
I'm so sorry.

I thought it was appropriate. I'm aware we'd all rather forget that the damn Cheezburger shithole never existed.

The proximity detection system constantly warns of an imminent collision. That is fully intentional, because the system has been modified to monitor the reactor's power fluctuations. To compensate, a simple program written into the long-range comms array turns it into a perfectly serviceable proximity radar.

>>26937789
I desperately need more of these sassy pilot-engineer reports, they're hilarious

>>26938444
besides, it's a great way to get rid of the engineer's stu surprise

I mean, he's a great engineer and a nice guy - though weird as fuck - but seriously, I think a newfie almost DIED eating his cooking.

The ship will not take off if birds are onboard. If birds enter the ship any point in the flight, the engine stops.The ship may have allergies.

There is a small red button on the bridge. Pressing it returns the message: ERROR: VIRGIN SACRIFICE NOT DETECTED!
It's probably a joke.

At least one of the escape pods has been converted into a set of crew quarters, which is kind of strange because Crew Compartment C is empty, and has been for years.

The plumbing makes strange noises at night. You'll get used to the sequence, then there'll be a new noise.

Nureek... Retut... Hanunga

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>>26938509
You develop the microbes to digest his cooking after a few months on board. We once had this doctor guy passenger who kept waving around his gizmo and wouldn't touch anything that came out of that pot he never washes with soap.

>>26938529
You remember those coin-sized resonator radios that were popular a few years back? With the nuclear-decay batteries that last like 50 years?

Someone lost one in Compartment C at one point, and it's stuck looping the same fucking song through the bedframes and shit.

>>26938114
>It randomly refers to non-Captain people as Captain

To add to this, safety features ensure that the captain always has the final say to the onboard AI. This means that every day is a roulette for who gets ultimate power on the ship.

>>26938571

Is that what that is? Shit... I've had those noises stuck in my head all week. That explains it.

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One corridor has had its walls and floor for a good twenty feet removed, exposing wires and circuitry. Besides a worrying amount of rust and the squelching sound of rubber being trod underfoot there isn't any particular negative effects- and most the 'damage' can be 'repaired' with some spare wood planks- save the question: who fucking steals 20 feet of hallway??

>>26938549
Imagine the microbe lives that have evolved in these halls, man. Every time we spend longer than a month onboard we have to start vaccinating new passengers with burnt chips of the engineer's cooking.

I worked on a merchant ship myself. Some of those actually happened.

-a reactor room half flooded with some highly corrosive coolant. As it's the only way to a very important part of the ship, the crew solved it via building two small boats to ferry across the "lake"
-railing replaced with string /duct tape
-blast door that's impossible to open due to lost access keys/rust, solved by cutting a man sized hole right next to it.
-emergency kits of every description replaced with loaded handguns. Either due to paranoia or fatalism. All have only one bullet/charge to prevent usage for mutiny.
-escape pod turned into a crew sauna, welded to hull to prevent "accidents"
-Important, but rarely used machinery is holed out and filled with liqour, smokes and other luxury/smuggled goods.
-mad hermit living in store rooms, no one knows how he got there or how he survives. Catching him is damm near impossible, as he knows the ship in and out and seems to know the code for the voice activated self destruct. Threatens to use it about once a month if he doesn't receive something ridiulous.
-voice activated self destruct mechanism, commonly used word as code, impossible to change
-incorrectly labeled buttons. There are roundabout sixty active buttons labeled "self destruct" on the bridge, only one will really blow up the ship, all the others are replacement buttons for other functions.
-artificial gravity on board changes direction in some rooms. Sometimes multiple times during the day.
-Mess hall changes direction around 12 o clock ship time. Crew solved it by spot welding furniture to the roof and floor and hanging a safety net in the middle (made from spare red wire)
-color coded wires replaced with wrong colored wire because the crew did run out of red colored wire about two centuries ago.
-inbred crew.
-petty feuds between crew members
-people who switched places with real crew members while in port and nobody cares.

>>26938605
It's some god-awful old anime OP too. Jesus Christ that fucking high-pitched squealing.

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>>26938549
I think it tastes great, now. And that chewy texture is mouth watering, especially compared to the vat protein paste we have in cold storage. But I'm not sure what he puts in it. By the way, have you seen those fungi growing in the crawlspace beneath the water mains? Scary things. Captain says Stan will take care of it and I shouldn't pester him with it again.

>>26938633
>-a reactor room half flooded with some highly corrosive coolant. As it's the only way to a very important part of the ship, the crew solved it via building two small boats to ferry across the "lake"
-mad hermit living in store rooms, no one knows how he got there or how he survives. Catching him is damm near impossible, as he knows the ship in and out and seems to know the code for the voice activated self destruct. Threatens to use it about once a month if he doesn't receive something ridiulous.
-voice activated self destruct mechanism, commonly used word as code, impossible to change

Ehhh, too over-the-top and "wacky". Try toning it down a little, unless you're playing a super wacky cartoony Futurama-ish game.

>>26938633
My sides have jettisoned an escape pod

Speaking of stowaways, we've got an old dude on our shipping tug that no one personally knows, but the cap swears was actually fired 30 years ago or so for drinking on-shift. So basically he receives no paycheck, maintains the secondary power systems, and screams if you look at him or touch him.

Honestly probably the most reliable guy I've ever served with.

>>26937160
Watch Red Dwarf. It's full of shitty-old-spaceship quirks.

>>26938305
> The throttle sticks. Either on or off. Never partway.

> Any space debris is hauled inside and searched by standing order, in case it contains a useable part.

> The ship's cat once jumped into the hyperdrive while it was running. The cat is divorced entirely from time in it's ongoing quest to rid the ship of almost all vermin, sleep in the captain's chair, and get petted.

> The captain's chair is entirely reserved for the ship's cat. The cat came with the ship, and was included with the ship when the used-ship dealer got hold of it. If anyone tries to sit there, the cat appears out of the nearest vent, and glares at them until they move.

> Every night, a collection of dead rats, shiproaches, and small birds are arranged outside the captain's cabin door. Scans show no cats on board.

> The chef speaks only his native language. It sounds like a cross between russian and polish. He's worthy of the finest greasy spoon cafes, but never leaves the ship. He can prepare anything requested, and it always tastes delicious. It always looks like crap, but it's still delicious.

> The coffee machine glows.

> The IFF is coin-operated.

Whatever you do, don't order the hot cocoa from the vending machine. Just don't.

>>26938709
Acceptable if it's a huge ship, in my opinion.

I could totally see that shit going down in 40k. Hell, in 40k I could see people making a career as boatmen ferrying people from one side of what used to be the vast Hangar 302(a)(1) to the other.

Keep out of the bathroom in Cargo Bay #1. Just trust me on this.

>The ship's computer misidentifies the type/class of approaching ship about 4% of the time.

>>26938767
>Watch Red Dwarf. It's full of shitty-old-spaceship quirks.

Just looked it up and I am definitely interested. Any particular series to look at? There seem to be about a half dozen of them.

>>26938824
It's British so by series they mean season. Start with Series 1.

>>26938514
If a virgin presses it, a storage compartment full of porn, some alien in nature, pops out from the floor.

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Multiple redundant safety features and the ad hoc fixes that disable them.

Mysterious periodic fluctuation in central system that is easy to work with once you accept that it is there and cannot be fixed.

Dangerous mislabeling on critical system interface that everyone knows about but no one ever relabels.

Complicated start up sequence that includes hitting and kicking certain casings at exact times in the procedure.

>>26938824
RD 1 and 2 a genuinely funny. Then they changed to a more laugh-a-minute format and it became okay. Still watchable. Besides, it's like Dr Who. Even when it's bad it's still kinda good.

>>26938767
Oh god, having the ghost of an ascended cat haunting the ship and doing cat things would be awesome.

The engine only starts from cold if Duane Eddy's Rebel Rouser or that Booker T song Green Onions is queued on the intercom system.

>>26938811
The cook has turned it into a greenhouse for his tomatoes, using the toilet as a flowerpot. One time someone accidentally "flushed" his tomatoes out into space. Nobody had real food for over a week after that.

All the fuel needs to have hot cocoa mixed in, or the engine refuses to run.

>>26938824
Go through in order. There's not that much of it. You can even get the whole thing in a DVD box set. Ignore the 'back to earth' special; it was shite.

Everyone should watch it, really. If only because of party dynamics.

You actually have to do a shutdown on the engines when entering atmosphere or they overcharge and go through an emergency shut down, and you know how long THAT takes to override.

Just shut them down and restart them once you're through the ionosphere.

Both >>26938912
and >>26938779 are true. The vending machine is directly connected to the engine, and ordering cocoa too much might overheat it.

>>26938901
And that's why he get's so mad at anyone who go's in. Well that and peanuts.

Many elements of the ship's functions are off by a bit.

Gravity is a little too strong. Not enough to hurt, but if you drop something it falls a little faster than you'd expect.

Thrusters fire a couple seconds later than they should, requiring their activation slightly before they're needed.

Ship's life support gives a temperature 5 degrees lower than the one it's instructed to provide.

Inertial dampening is slightly weak but only in the case of clockwise rotation around the ship's spinal axis - meaning when your maneuvers incorporate such motion, crew feel it slightly (those on the left side of the ship feel as though they're in an elevator starting to go up, and those on the right side of the ship feel as though they're in an elevator starting to go down) - all other motion, however, is not felt.

>>26938867
> Meow
> Meow
> Meow!

> Open the door
> Nothing there
> Close door
> Cat strolls through closed door as if it wasn't there, jumps onto your bed, curls up, and falls asleep.
> You turn to look at the door
> Turn back
> Cat's gone


> Walking down a corridor
> Trip over nothing and fall, accompanied by a cat yowling in surprise
> Get up and look around
> Cat wanders across the corridor where you tripped, is struck by an invisible force, yowls silently, and flees

>>26938979
>Sometimes complete gibberish shows up on a computer monitor, as if somehow had walked over the keyboard.

The landing ramp doesn't work properly. When you hit the release, it drops with no cushioning and will slam into the ground, leaving a dent in deck plating, cracks in concrete, or a divot in dirt.

To bring the landing ramp back up you have to turn a crank by hand. Once it's up the seal works fine, it's just the mechanisms for moving the damn thing that are busted.

>>26938944
And the hot cocoa you get will kill you, because of being mixed with starship fuel.

The sub system running the showers is slowly starting to become self aware and only works if you ask it nicely

>>26939045
>landing ramp
I meant boarding ramp.

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This thread reminds me of pic related

>>26939087
Or, it always works, but you don't ask nicely, it only gives you scalding water.

The ship'slife support provides seasons. This function is nonstandard in an cannot be altered or fixed.

The ships broadcasts a call to prayer every evening. The religion the call is for is unknown.

The ship is infected with strange vermin that the crew can't seem to get rid off. Outside of the ship, the vermin only appear in fossil records.

The ship has a seemingly endless supply of calendars. No one knows where they come from, why they feature pictures of an unknown species in various states of undress, why there is an 13th month or what any of the marked holidays actually are.

when you are in the science lab and the ship jumpes, you begin to recognise slight changes in the ship. such as different wall/section colors, different sound of the engine, or even changes in the appearance of you fellow crew members. everyone thinks you are mad. details differ from jump to jump, but only if you are in the science lab.

>>26939024
I legitimately got chills reading that.

Now I need to think of a sanity mechanic for when the party psion starts getting haunted. Maybe Intelligence - Psi Power is their sanity DM?

>>26939173
It gets worse.

Just think of what happens should they actually get the ship repaired and overhauled.

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>>26939099
Welp, now I know what my party is going to encounter when they find a seemingly-derelict megavessel.

ITT: Space travel is really, really annoying.

>>26938571

Bonus points if the song is "All Along the Watchtower."

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>>26939173
Maybe have them roll sanity whenever something too weird happens, and if they succeed they can shake it off. Fail, and they get to spend a pleasant few moments in someone else's life.

>>26939301

Tigon class battleship my ass, that's one of those ships from Starship Troopers having had sex with a Battlestar.

>>26939099
> The ship's bigger on the inside than the outside.
> Not the interior. The INSIDE.
> Some corridors take hours to traverse, even though they look normal.
> Some corridors look bigger than they are.
> Some rooms don't exist one day to the next.
> The bathrooms move around the ship.
> Analysis suggests a leaky stasis chamber is interacting with the warp fields.
> The ship has no stasis chambers.
> It has one on the schematics, but it's simply a locker with 'staysis chamber' scratched into the paint.

>>26939287
WORRY
Space the crew, abandon ship. Probably kill self too, for good measure.

>>26939357
>>26939287
Every now and then, (when nobody's paying attention) it swaps to a different version of AAtW.

>>26939266
Reminds me of my WEG SWRPG days. Fucking tramp freighters, man. Just...fucking tramp freighters.

>>26939332
>'staysis chamber'

I chortled, for some reason. Like it makes me think a strong Psion dumped all his energy into that locker long ago to make sure the ship 'stays' in one piece, but it's not perfectly effective.

>>26937160
No artificial gravity. Fortunately, the ship's interior compartments were designed with those concerns in mind, and the ship was priced accordingly. Unfortunately, not having gravity is still kinda annoying to deal with - and what's worse, because the ship's designed with zero-G operations in mind, it wouldn't work to just install an artificial gravity unit - all interior compartments would have to be completely reworked, at significant expense.

>>26939392
I'm going to do this with Hotel California.

My Space Opera party will meet strange settlers on strage planets, and whenever it fits I will play some folksy version of Hotel California, most instrumental.

I'm hoping that it will become the theme without them ever realizing it.

>>26939465
>>26939392
Why not Benson, Arizona instead?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2F0dHVZAm8

>>26939518
I still need to watch Dark Star. I downloaded the movie months and months ago, but I completely forgot about it.

>>26939518
Best space song. The Duane Elms version of Dawson's Christian is a close second.

>>26938529
I can almost remember where that's from... can you remind me?

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Man, I think this is the first thread I have ever made that reached over 100 posts without it derailing and/or declining into a flame war. I'm so proud!

>>26939674
/tg/ loev old spesship.

>>26939674
Yeah, the sand-nigger apologists have been pretty quiet in this thread.

>>26937160

The men's crew quarters smell of cat's urin. The stench is horrible and doesn't go away ever, even after scrubbing the room with every agent possible. It can't be the air vents, because those smell of old cigarette smoke - on the whole ship.

The women's quarters are frozen over with a multiple centimeter thick crust of ice. The heating in that room can't be repaired and hasn't been replaced so far. No parts the engineer might try to use will fit, and the company which built the thing in the first place, seems to have never existed. It's a different model, than the ones used in the other parts of the ship though.

As a consequence everyone sleeps in improvised spaces all across the ship.

Except for the captain. Although his room doesn't seem to have any power outlets at all.

The kitchen floor, which looks like laminate, is actually a very old, very dirty carpet, which was originally yellow.

There's a toilet and a shower cubicle in the kitchen.

The ship's computer runs on some ancient OS no one knows. There's no operating manual and no one figured out so far how to switch the language from what seems to be ancient greek. Also every attempt at getting rid of it failed so far. If you think you wiped the hard drives completely and restart it always reinstalls from somewhere else on the fucking ship. The engineer tracked it back once and it had made a backup copy in the fucking coffee machine. Why was that even connected to the main computer? And seriously, what is this Windows 95?

>>26939674
I feel like I'm back in old /tg/. It's nice.

>>26939757
>>26939778
Wait, nevermind

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>>26937160
Are there other pictures of the ship in the OP? I know there's one with some guys camped out under it, but it's in my 16,000+ unsorted images, so I can't find it right now.

>>26939868
http://j-humphries.deviantart.com/art/Rusty-Ship-2-130033136

Google Image Search, yo. Took me right to it.

>Planning to run a GURPS Fantasy game next week
>This thread
>Am now running Rogue Trader

Some corridors were reduced to single-file in an asteroid collision. It's hard to repair that much crushing, but the jolly old captain's the only one who can't fit, and he lives on the bridge, so it's not a big deal.

All toilets in port restroom 2 are sealed with construction foam. It's either that or get sued for crewmen going home with ship-wasp stings on their unmentionables.

Most aft bulkheads are filled with albino wheat after the hydroponist's garden overflowed into a carbon vent. At least the albino locusts haven't moved in yet.

The medicinal dispensary in the cafeteria is essentially a suicide booth. Epi-pens are all expired and can't be replaced, and ordering insulin gives you half a litre of bromine gas.

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>>26939357

>Kill self

But anon, God says Suicide is a sin. He has a plan for you, Anon.

>>26939938

Make sure to wear your helmet in the corridors-- antigrav fluctuates a lot, and sometimes there's a loose crate hiding up there.

The last gunner had a weird way of reacting to gravity shifts. You might want to shower after gunning duty.

Some of the walls can be opened. Please don't use the wall interiors as shortcuts, because we're a little tight on wall exteriors and don't want a crew member depressurising a corridor to save time getting to lunch.

>>26940106
Ignore the name, I just got back from another board

About 5 seconds after a cold start the emergency lights come on, impact alarms blare and the bridge computer throws a "404: Bridge Not Found" error.
No one knows why the bridge computer does this even after four clean reinstalls and two complete hardware switch-outs.

Something behind the #4 fire control station gives off humms and screeches something fierce when used. No one cares enough to fix it.

The life support system is rerouted through the fusion reactor anteroom. In the life support systems original room is the back-up hydraulic feed for the landing gear. No one knows what happened to the original hydralic feed or where it used to be.

#2 Stateroom faucet rewired to ship's beer supply.

"Those chicken scratches on the dashboard? Those are the original button and lever instructions, we think. They look kinda like Qua'kekian stick-writing but the last Quar'kek we had onboard took one look at them and only got a severe headache for a week out of them."

>>26937160
> The nose-art changes with each hyperspace jump. There are numerous holes and scorchmarks from when a species took offense to what it was that jump.

> The sewage system never needs emptying, and, in fact, cannot be emptied. Trying to trace the pipes leads you to a sealed bulkhead every time, with no way through or around it. Best guesses are a teleporter, or it being used as fuel for the hyperdrive through mass/energy conversion of some form.

> The hyperdrive is a magical black box that Just Works (tm). It's decorated with holders for incense, paint on the spots to smack it for certain faults, and some of the casing is missing intermittently. Mugs of coffee left on it empty on their own.

> The heat-sink for the galley fridge is hot enough to be used as a cooking surface. There's generally a pot of coffee on it.

> The computer insults anyone it addresses. Often personally and hurtfully.

> The interior is of a different, much larger ship than the exterior, and crudely cut down to fit.

these ones are inspired my old mr-fixit job in a local supermarket

- the main computer keyboard has half of it's keys missing symbols and the ones that still have symbols are buttons with smiley face, batman symbol, biohazard sign, trollface etc.

- the main airlock only opens if you thump it hard over the lock while pushing on the door with your body.

- #2 bathroom lock can't be opened if you don't put a piece of cardboard between the door and the doorway.

- Secondary firecontrol throws "ERROR: MAIN DISK NOT FOUND" messages from time to time. turn it off, give it a good kick and then restart it. That usually solves it.

>Ship's comm system gets messages, telemarketing, harassing calls, threats, and long-winded rants about scorned love meant for a different captain. No amount of bureaucratic work can fix this.

Starboard and portside maintenance servitors are at war. If two meet they attack each other and the loser will be dragged to the repair station of the winner and reprogrammed. He will then serve the winners side. So far they seem even matched. The crew frequently bets on the outcome of those fights. Nobody knows why this happens or how to stop it. One enginseer tried to fix it, he vanished and two weeks later turned up as a portside servitor.

>>26939945
Well then he must have planned for suicide then right?

>>26940474
Quit screwing up God's omniscience by doing things He doesn't expect!

- Pushing a button does one thing, holding it down does something else usually unrelated. The hold action is never written down.
- During a Jump wet clothing will not dry and no one has any explanation.
- The captain's chair is the toilet from the secondary escape pod because, "A toilet in an escape pod is like a screen door in an airlock."
- Incidentally the airlock does not have a screen door the galley does with a note on it to keep closed to keep out the files.

How about random temporal anomalies that aren't dangerous but no one can quite put there fingers on them. E.g the n.o 1 port side window shows the view from n.o 3 starboard window or cupboards that are smaller than they should be on the inside.

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>>26940222
>The computer insults anyone it addresses. Often personally and hurtfully.

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Just give them a reason to start taking the ship apart. An annoying sound or stuck hatch will do. It seems like it could be one thing and to get to that you need to take another thing apart. Then it never really fits back together right and they keep rebuilding the ship system by system to make it all work again.

Engine 1 just sort of spontaneously combusts every now and then. Don't worry, it'll go out by itself.

Engine 2 won't always start, you might have to kick it or bang on it with a wrench until whatever's stuck inside dislodges.

The coffee machine's built-in computer is faster than every other computer on the ship put together. It is sentient, and hates the captain; he has to ask the pilot to get the coffee for him because otherwise it'll just spew out some tar-like substance.

The jump drive is connected to the lights somehow, which burn out whenever the drive engages. When we got the ship, Engineering was illuminated by gas lamps and candles. It still is.

>>26939911
>Links to a grand total of five pictures
>One of them is a 404

GOD DAMNIT

>>26938092
The tea maker, on the other hand, always produces something that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea in a small plastic cup.
The tea maker also does not connect to the ship's water supply, nor does it have a port to add liquids. Nobody's quite sure where it gets the drink from, but since no-one wants to drink it anyway no-one's tried to find out.

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>>26937319
>Somewhere, a doorhandle on a locker has broken off, and has been replaced with a set of molegrips clamped onto the stub of a handle.
>mfw I did that with an old fridge one time

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>>26937233
>floorplans

So, semi-related to the thread (mostly not I guess), but any tips for how to map out a floorplan for a Traveller ship?

Mostly the size of things as relates to dtons, but any tips help.

The floorplan on the entry lock show about 3/4 of the actual ship. By going down through multiple hallways you find the floorplans for the last 1/4, and it points to your current position as the escape hatch.

Some of the control circuits for ignition on the number three engine were rewired using cheap unshielded wire. On startup, the magnetic flux from the other three engines causes interference and potentially catastrophic misfires.
The solution is to flip the killswitch for #3 before starting and to wait for the others to reach a stable operating state before flipping it on.

>>26940474

Look, stop being a wise ass, and do what the blonde in a red dress who only you can see tells you to do.

>>26941384
Honestly, I'm just running through the spaceship supplements for a floorplan that looks vaguely like the ship I posted in the OP. It's not perfect by any means, but it beats doing math

I used to live in a house where the doorbell had been wired into the telephone line. Made a mess of the ADSL I can tell you.

As for the old ship, the indicator for fuel pump #2 is actually for fuel pump #1, the lamp for #1 goes on and off with no discernible pattern or rationale, #3 and #4 work as they should, and the indicator for #5 shows on when pump #2 is off, and vice versa. There is no pump #5, and as far as anyone knows that indicator actually isn't connected to anything.

Put a MAGIC switch
When On: everything as normal
When Off: the ships computer stops working/reactor starts melting down/shit goes down

The MAGIC switch isn't connected to anything at all

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>>26938135
That's the one.
I wish I had saved it.

>>26942217
see
>>26939024

>>26940872
[It's not personal. I'm just stating a fact. You are an ugly, unwanted orphan.]

>>26942217
What
>>26942275
Said. There was also a thread where it was brought up, and I detailed a plan where the ship could be overhauled and dolled up into a racing yacht, fuck the haunters.
>Is that a Soviet moon lander?

>>26942367

Yes.

>>26942275
Dammit that's what I get for not reading the entire thread before posting.

>>26942367
Yep. It was tested and ready for manned flight, but never got used because the N1 program fell through.

>>26942425
Looks kinda neat.
>>26942564
Just as well. Soviet rockets were pretty much deathtraps.

>>26937160
There are twice the number of buttons on the main console than is what is actually needed. Half of those do nothing, a few of them start a reactor meltdown, and the rest cause the ship's AI to start singing Lionel Richie's 'Hello' through the shipwide intercom.
None of them are marked.

>>26942685
You could actually do something like that. Something like. The ship is a Free Trader that has been retrofitted with parts from a corsair. Including the cockpit. It has a gunnery station. The ship has no guns.

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I work on some rather old airplanes for a job, and here are some quirks I've noticed that happened in one deployment. For one, each airplane has its own personality. Its story time!

Some airplanes break less when its at the Home station, doing training missions, while others break down less when its deployed, doing real combat missions. One aircraft NEVER broke down once in a two year stint in Afghanistan. Seriously, the only maintenance we did was normal time changes and monthly calibrations (all of which passed and needed no adjustment).

The week we were planning to rotate it back home, it broke down, HARD! Cracks in the wing, Missile defense started freaking out around anything bright (thinks its a SAM launch), Comm's cryptography not syncing, and the Engines stopped syncing (propellers rotating out of sync will cause the aircraft to rip itself apart from both the drive shaft torque and the potential sonic booms from the propellers). The real downer was on a check flight after trying to find a bug in the landing gear (the nose gear would not retract). The Brakes locked up, and in the process of freeing the wheels on the runway, with F-15's and Tornado's taking off overhead less than 50 feet over us, this airplane put 4 guys in the hospital due to odd malfunctions and shit operating like its not supposed to.

>>26942771
I just like the idea that the ship randomly starts singing Lionel Richie or something.

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>>26942787
The real scary part was when towing it back to the ramp, we hit a patch of ice. The aircraft brakes locked up again, and this angry bird started pushing the tow truck, slowing speeding up. A 30,000+ pound truck, with its wheels locked, tires squealing, being pushed down the Ramp (fucking Russians couldn't level a damn taxiway to save their lives), with a roped off minefield to the right of us. And the aircraft is easing over towards the minefield. The Tow Supervisor is fighting the aircraft the entire time, and shouts on the radio to get ready to jump off and abandon the aircraft. At the last moment, the airplane start behaving and we regain control of it.

That plane did not want to go home. It wanted to stay in the combat zone, doing real missions. Lo and behold, the aircraft scheduled to replace it breaks down en route after eating a few birds, and all of a sudden this old girl starts behaving like nothing happened in the past few weeks. Fast forward a few weeks, and the new aircraft lands, and breaks HARD. The old bird that was giving us problems nonchalantly takes off and flies back home without a problem. before it started up, the APU starts with a noisy, loud, hiccup. I swear that plane snickered at us.

>>26942790
tape stuck in the cassette player. Don't know what the Traveller equivalent would be.

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>>26937789

>>26942787
>>26942799
That is terrifying. I feel the need to hug and reassure my car that I'll never replace her now.

>>26942771

Some practical joker refitted the station into an augmented reality video game. Nobody's been able to change it back, though.

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>>26942787
>>26942799
>thinking that they don't all have personalities
>shiggy doop

>>26942787
>>26942799
>you will never know a machine this intimately
>sadfrog_techpriest.png

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>>26943170
>that A-10 Waifu

I'm strangely okay with this.

Hell, the oldest aircraft we have was one of the original prototypes. It also has the least flight hours on it. That bird is a grumpy old bitch that never wants to have fun. However when push comes to shove, she starts behaving, reluctantly.

>oh noes, we have a high profile mission/ ground pounders need our help and none of the planes are flight worthy.
>The old girl is in the middle of a maintenance job, workers wrap up with surprisingly little difficultly
>flies mission, does superbly well.
>lands, and promptly throws a Turbine blade through the fuselage.
>Airplane: Fuck this shit
>Crew Chief: Fuck my life

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>>26942799
>>26942787
Jesus Christ, I thought Christine was a CAR.

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>>26943327
>I'm strangely okay with this.
We've got more.

Some of it is even lewd.

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>>26943327
Here kinda what that airplane did. except is was a turbine blade, not the propeller. Nearly turned a aircrew into red goo (IMO, that guy actually earned his flight pay that day).

I've used these in a campaign before, for the party's starter ship. It was designed by committee and put the company that built it out of business because it was so badly put together. It had a bunch of quirky features and of course damage since it had been sitting, abandoned in space, for centuries.

-To save space in the engine room, the Hyperdrive was mounted sideways. This caused the ship to jump and travel through hyperspace sideways as well. Anything loosely sitting on a shelf always get knocked off when it jumped.

-The reactor emergency shutdown clamps were cheaply made, and thus had a tendency to almost randomly engage. It was mostly predictable, mostly.

-As a power saving feature, the inertial dampers would shut down without warning when traveling below mach 1 in atmo. There were many minor injuries the first time this feature kicked in.

-The ship used a key fob that burned through batteries at a rate of one per week.

-Most of the major appliances in the mess would short out the lights in the quarters and bathroom due to bad wiring and cheap fuses.

-The refrigerator was lead lined and had an oxygen supply. It doubled as a single person escape pod, if you could get it out of the mess hall.

-To save space, the ship's water supply was also used as part of the reactor coolant system and thus only came in warm or steaming hot, though luckily, not radioactive.

-The main computer used shareware for nearly everything, the kind with the 30 second nag screens. The crew later replaced it with all pirated software, not all of it clean.

-For safety, the quarantine room had an emergency "eject into space" feature. It was actually faster then using the airlock to get outside and the crew adapted its use as a garbage disposal.

-The cargo crane in the cargo bay had a 2 second delay on its controls due to a software issue.

-Firing the forward weapons would reduce the forward velocity of the ship (and sometimes trigger the reactor emergency shutdown.)

>>26943641
>-The refrigerator was lead lined and had an oxygen supply. It doubled as a single person escape pod, if you could get it out of the mess hall.
But could it survive a nuclear blast?

these are form our Rogue Trader game where the RTs ship was reclaimed from a space hulk and subequesntly stuck in space dock for almost a hundred years, but these can probably be converted into Traveler stuff

- Main plasma engine array fluctuates whenever the armory ordinance winch is used. The winch is powered by salves and ropes.Techpriests are baffled.

- Steering controls sometimes reverse themselves for about 10 seconds. This often happens during times of high stress for the ship.

- Holotank display shifts to showing xenos skinvids anytime someone forgets to disengage it before using the shipborn comms.

- Tertiary Command & Control room down in the enginarium has been converted to a sauna, probably during it's time in a space hulk. The techpriests can't tell if returning it to it's original state will cause damage on the plasma engine or not.

- The ghost of the former high-engiseer still roams the enginarium, giving hits and tips on how to fix things. At least according to the current engiseer. No one else has seen the ghost.

>>26943641
>To save space in the engine room, the Hyperdrive was mounted sideways. This caused the ship to jump and travel through hyperspace sideways as well. Anything loosely sitting on a shelf always get knocked off when it jumped.

I am stealing this and I don't care who knows. Thanks!

> Language settings on crew workstations randomly default to factory default. This is not a language the crew speak.

> Engine #3 is misaligned and requires periodic maintenance or will eventually shake itself loose. The issue persists despite repeated attempts to correct, including at least one wholesale replacement of the engine.

> One of the staterooms is set up as a child's nursery. Flower-print curtains, toy box, crib, the works. The crew refuse to use or alter it.

>>26939099
That picture reminds me of a game of spacestation 13

> Electrics on the crew decks use 24 volt circuits, the ones on engineering decks use 48 volt circuits. The transformers to convert between the two are notably unreliable.

> The decontaminate cycle on the airlock between ship sections cannot be skipped or overridden. The crew have made a point of changing the chemical cleaner with air freshener once underway.

> Forward and aft scanning systems do not use the same OS. The computer that translates between them is unreliable (this was apparently a real issue for the Nimrod AEW aircraft)

> Vent hoods in the galley are insufficient for fume evacuation. Fire alarms will sound in the compartment for any cooking time longer than half an hour. Oddly, issue does not occur when cooking bacon.

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>>26944612
>Electrics on the crew decks use 24 volt circuits, the ones on engineering decks use 48 volt circuits. The transformers to convert between the two are notably unreliable.

I've seen this before on airplanes. Makes me rage every time. Sometime Engineers can't engineer themselves out of a wet paper bag.

Know what kept burning up transformers or popping the circuit breaker? The Aircrew was Daisy chaining adapters to get 60 Hertz for their espresso maker so they could get their caffeine fix. We asked them to stop, they whined, so we threatened to file a Fraud/Waste/ and Abuse report. So they went back to drinking cold-mix coffee like everyone else on the ground.

>>26945135
>The Aircrew was Daisy chaining adapters to get 60 Hertz for their espresso maker

Sounds like the Rogue Trader crew has hit some financial difficulties.

>>26945135
Do you have anymore wonderful stories?

>>26944612
>The decontaminate cycle on the airlock between ship sections cannot be skipped or overridden.

I can see that coming in handy if they ever get boarded.
Swap out the cleaner cartridge for one filled with [deadly thing of your choice], close the door behind you.

>The weapon targeting and engineering screens occasionally pick up ancient television broadcasts

>All the ship lights are wired on a single line. If one light burns out, they all go out.

>The ship diagnostic system is convinced that there is a 4rth deck with a burned out power converter. There are only 3 decks and no sign that there ever was a fourth.

>The main engine's starter burned out and the chief engineer built a temporary hand crank to use until it is replaced. This was 10 years ago.

>The solar sail has been patched so many times, none of the original material remains

>The heavy duty tint on the cockpit window? That's not tinting, it's dirt.

>We're pretty sure that the captain is either a ghost or a hologram. He never eats or sleeps or leaves the bridge and the ships dog occasionally walks through him. He's still the best captain I've ever served under though.

>The ships clocks use metric time and we can't change it.

>There is a switch hidden under the pilot's chair. We're not entirely sure what it does, but it's wired into both the main engine control and all external hatches.

>The clothing autowasher bleaches all clothes to white. The bleach tank has been empty for years so we're not sure how it's doing it and the machine is larger than the laundry room hatch so it can't be removed.

>Never enter cargo bay 2b. Our best guess is either it's linked to a parallel dimension or is haunted. People and cargo seem to appear and vanish at random intervals.

>Be careful when opening engineering panels, control panel surfaces or emergency supply kits. Our previous engineer went crazy and boobytrapped everything and eight years later, we're still finding stuff.

>Every single EVA space suit on board is a different model. Please do not mix up the pieces.

>Don't worry about the rattling when the ship is in hyperspace. That's the ship's shock absorption system. It's long blown out and the only place to get a replacement is in a museum.

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>>26945290
There are several circuit breakers and switches that when pulled in sequence, kick out a engine error that by reg, "requires" us to land to do troubleshooting. By troubleshooting, I mean change a part or two and spend the next two days drinking ourselves into oblivion waiting for a clearance window to fly out of said country(usually Germany).

>>26945280
Eh, not really. Aircrews in all branches have a tendency to act like spoiled children. Not all are like that, but a enough to have a reputation.

>Linguist wanted me to expedite a Lighting transformer so they could do crossword puzzles in flight. I laughed in their face.

>sometimes a plane comes down with a odd discrepancy, only for me to see they didn't even bother to turn said hardware on. Even when its in plain sight.

>Aircrew taxi out, not listening to the Marshal.
>Expediter (a E-6) pulls truck in from of airplane, stops plane
>pops open crew hatch
>climbs up to flight deck, and chews out the pilot (a Captain) for not following the Marshaller. They nearly ran over a crew Chief.

> All exterior service panels must be unlocked remotely from the bridge.

> Main drive has a "parking brake" that auto-engages on shutdown. It prevents main drive from operation until disengaged. This is a two-person operation.

> Use of auto-guidance/land system is HIGHLY un-recommended. System does not recognize input data from ground stations with disturbing regularity.

>The ship has a steering wheel instead of a control stick. It came like this from the factory.

>The windshield wiper fluid light is always on. As far as we can tell, the ship doesn't have windshield wipers nor has it ever had them.

>The emergency beacon has long since been stolen by the previous chef to pay for his drug habit. It has been replaced with a particle board and plastic mockup to fool the customs inspectors.

>Escape pod 18 is to never be opened under any circumstances. The previous chef used to use it as a backup fridge and after eight years and hundreds of hyperspace jumps..well we're not entirely sure but we can hear growling and the occasional knocking around through the hatch.

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Stories from a Tanker (19k)

My baby hated Garrison. Throws track, random electrical glitches (smoke generator on for no reason, turret creep, NBC system operates like a high-pressure hose, engine shuts down randomly, dead batteries after sitting off for 20 mins) constantly. In the field, 4 weeks w/ just PMCS, not a single breakdown from the loading railhead until she's parked back at the HQ motor pool. Left drive wheel shatters into a million pieces and hits the new butterbar in the face with bits o hot metal. I didn't like the fucker either.

CVC's picking up civilian radio traffic regardless of radio setting.

Didn't want to deploy one time (Wanted to stay back and keep banging hot german chick) My baby hit by lightning 34 times during one storm. Under the motor pool hut. In the middle of the line. Fried everything. Had to stay to help our shit-tier 'techs for 5 weeks while waiting for replacement parts. Got all our parts on the same day german chick broke up with me. Never had a problem again. Ever. None.

Deployed for Desert Shield/Storm. Massive storms, nothing happens. Other tanks down for 3-5 days while tons of sand and damaged optics replaced and cleaned. My baby's fine. Do the job, kill people, go back to Germany. No problems. I tell my baby I love her every day. Everything works perfectly.

2 days from my separation date, company deploys for live fire training, I stay "in the rear with the beer". Misfire from a "cleared" unattended M2HB kills the butterbar and wounds my CO. I still think that was her version of a "going away" present.

I still miss that crazy bitch...

>>26937749
Yes, I like this one too.

>>26938249
>Don't hurt me, Dave.
>Dave, don't hurt me.
>Don't hurt me.
>No more.

>>26946623
And people used to tell me I was crazy for talking to my car, which once managed to get me 40 miles to a gas station when it only had enough gas for 20. Machine spirits are real, and they only want to be loved.

>>26947511
Maybe so, and maybe some are just cranky bitches.

>>26947858
>Cranky

HA!

>>26945433
Clever girl.

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>>26946623
>Didn't want to deploy one time (Wanted to stay back and keep banging hot german chick) My baby hit by lightning 34 times during one storm. Under the motor pool hut. In the middle of the line. Fried everything. Had to stay to help our shit-tier 'techs for 5 weeks while waiting for replacement parts. Got all our parts on the same day german chick broke up with me. Never had a problem again. Ever. None.

>>26937789
>Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
Someone has good taste in music

>>26937711
>Some drive, or other piece of machinery makes the most dangerous sounding noise, along with emergency sirens and lights (if not broken) for 3 seconds after activated, then it functions as normal.

Like how my last to cars were old and there "check engine" lights were ALMOST ALWAYS on when the car was. Yet both have served long a faithfull even before I got them.

>>26937779

Lol COBOL.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grace_Hopper

>>26938529
And then it Skreelookas.

>>26945844
>Did you try plugging it in? Did you try turning it on?

People are dumb

>>26939668
Red Dwarf.

>>26938170

lol.

>>26939078

Isn't starship fuel just hydrogen?

>>26949965
Do you use a fusion drive?

>>26950020
No, i use a couple of skunk-powered potato cannons pointed through the back.

>>26950051
Then it sounds like birds, roots, berries, grass, leaves, rodents, and salamanders fuel your starship.

This is making me want to dismantle the thing and document everything I find.

An idea-
"Is that a Brown Bess?"
"You know, I thought that. And then I found the magazine in the butt. And the firing mechanism. And the rifling. I don't know who or what made this, but it isn't like any gun I've ever seen."

Upon removing part of the paneling a fungus seethes and squeals as it burns in the sunlight. It proves to taste delicious.

Taking apart the reactor results in a tide of extra parts of all kinds as the singularity system gives up the ghost. Some are even compatible with the ship.

A cat comes ambling out when you remove the captain's chair. It appears to be utterly normal save for the ability to teleport and being utterly, monochrome white.

>>26945956
> All exterior service panels must be unlocked remotely from the bridge.
That's a feature, not a bug.

>>26950141
Unless you're the maintenance crew.

>>26950135
appreciate it friend.

>>26950173
Crew implies more than one person. Station one in the bridge to open the hatches. Or, hell, just radio the bridge when you need one opened.

>>26950173
It's a feature for the same reason that your trunk or gas tank hatch need to be unlocked from inside the car.

>>26943641

from the annoying to the dangerous.

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Here's a rundown Traveller Scout/Courrier.

>>26950020

yes.

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has anyone used a ship with a single or tandem annular wing setup?

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>>26950724

>>26950557
Hydrogen is the most common and most easily fused element. Seems likely.

>>26948893
Ah, that makes sense now.

>>26950922
>>26950557
>>26950020
Since it's a Traveller group it's probably a Traveller ship which use liquid hydrogen for reactor fuel, reaction plasma drive reaction mass and jump envelope material.

Also why traveller ship volume is measured in dTons, the volume of 1 ton of hydrogen, considering traveller ships are made up of anywhere from 20 to 70% liquid hydrogen tanks.

The plans say the ship has five decks, but you've only ever been able to find four. There's this odd clanging at night sometimes, though..

>>26951033
Is it more of a WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? clang or spooooooky clang?

>>26952165

Given that it comes from a place in the ship that doesn't exist on the plans or anywhere you've been able to physically find, both.

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-The ship which the PC's have purchased secondhand is a very old Solomani model, one which features an exterior-mount jump drive hailing from the days when not adequately going through your safety checks and scheduled maintenance religiously could and would result in it exploding instead of sending you into jumpspace. Luckily, the systems are designed so that the telltale energy fluctuations which signal a catastrophic failure and imminent explosion automatically trigger the coupling release systems and explosive bolts which jettison the drive away from the ship. Unfortunately, the ship IS several centuries old and the coupling system is so tetchy that it is often difficult to get it to release the drive even for maintenance.
-The ship the players have bought is of an exotic make by a minor race. It is a credit to their craftsmanship, a fine vessel. Unfortunately, this race counts in base 7. All of the numerical indicators on the ship are in base 7, and the ship's computer displays numbers in base 7.
-The ship's spinal mount cannon has a bad inertial dampening system. Firing it tends to knock people off their feet and jostle unsecured items off of shelves and such.
-The ship was manufactured by a race that cannot see the extent of the color spectrum that we see. As a result, it has a color scheme both within and without which is so gaudy and nonsensical so as to make it painful to look at, at times.
-The ship's only armament is an ortillery cannon, giving it stupendous penalties for anti-ship combat. The players are simple traders and could not possibly find any legitimate reason for needing to execute an ortillery strike- for that matter, ortillery craft require support vessels for defense, something it does not have now that its military days are over.

>>26952873
>-The ship was manufactured by a race that cannot see the extent of the color spectrum that we see. As a result, it has a color scheme both within and without which is so gaudy and nonsensical so as to make it painful to look at, at times.
Better yet, it's all done up precisely within the confines of the narrow band of spectra they can see. Everything is green. Buttons? Green. Console? Green. Bulkhead? Green. Emergency release lever? Green. You never knew there were so many shades of green.

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-The ship is actually just a meteor with engines, a terror-weapon from back in the days before the accords which made slinging near-C rocks at planets the worst war crime one could possibly commit. This has no mechanical penalties, but it tends to alienate the PC's in every port they visit, since it's a grim reminder of the galaxy's brutal, barbaric, senseless past- it's a lot like how the reaction would be if you showed up in a modern day port in a boat which was made out of a converted ICBM. A live one.

-The ship's computer is unthinkably old, with a two-color display: Simple green allcaps text against black. It runs on a crude, text-only command line structure. It's fucking barbaric, but it's simple to learn and it gets the job done. There's even a /help prompt. This has the rather unique side effect of rendering the ship's computer almost wholly immune to any and all conventional hacking attempts- the OS is just too old. Nothing recognizes it, anymore.

-The ship was built on a water world. As such, it does not have landing gear or landing skids. It has landing pontoons. If the PC's need to land somewhere, they must find a body of liquid to do it on.

>>26953078
>someone attempts to sneak onboard and hijack your ship
>you walk in on them locked in a dumbfounded stare at the command prompt
>when you say something the mumble vaguely "Oh, right, sorry." and proceed to stumble slowly towards the airlock as if in a fugue haze.

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>>26953121
"I came onto the bridge, and the hijacker was just shouting at the top of his lungs at the monitor and beating his hands on the screen. I guess it just didn't occur to him that a shipboard computer might not have voice recognition. That seems a bit funny, now, but hey, before I served on this ship... I hadn't really run into one like that, either."

>>26953309
"Well the tendency of the OS to try and auto update at every port we dock at, is a bit irritating to say the least. There are never any updates available and the process shuts down the entire ship for half a day. You can't even get out or at least shut down the computer during the process. We couldn't find out how to switch that damn program off yet, so we just turn off the computer before we start the docking procedure. Luckily the ship has a manual mode and can be steered entirely with analogue instruments. We never found a conversion table for the system of units they use though. Welcome aboard as our new pilot, son."

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-The ship is affixed with a Glory Device, a-la Star Control. Engineers have deemed it too dangerous to try to detach from the ship, as the ship is, essentially, built around it.

-The ship's fire suppression system is that it simply locks the affected room and vents its atmosphere. It is possible to override it, but you must be very, very quick about it.

-The ship has no windows. Instrument-only flight conditions are the ONLY flight conditions. This makes things rather terrifying if the sensors are ever hit during a fight.

- Flip the landing gear switch twice. Don't trust the light. Wait for the thunk. Don't worry, you'll hear it.

- The pads are a bit grippy. They are off of an old belter ship. Just up the throttle about ten percent over the gravity well. Yeah, it fucks with the landing strip, but we are offworld when that happens.

- See that red light? When that starts blinking grab this checklist. Run it through, start to finish. Don't ask what's happening. Trust me, it's bad. This checklist is your friend.

- The heat sensors are off. Everytime you hit atmo they will start screaming. We keep them on because the alarm also hooks into other sensors. You see that oven thermometer on the cockpit window? That's your guide, try and pitch down if it gets above 700 degrees.

>The ship was originally a small space station that someone mounted engines on for some reason. It maneuvers like one too.

>The control sticks have a tendency to pop out of their socket. We've tried fixing it but it never holds. Just jam it back in there before we crash if it happens.

>There is no second deck, but there is a first and third. The Captain had all access welded and sealed permanently and he won't say why. All I know is that deck 2 produces more water then it uses. Also sometimes I hear singing.

>Don't worry about that blood colored liquid that sometimes leaks from the walls at night. It's hydraulic fluid from the reactor realignment arms. It's perfectly harmless.

>Now I know this internal control board will mess with your head. It's a main weapons control pannel from an old BPL Battle cruiser. We salvaged it a few years ago since the original broke. We never bothered to relabel it but go ahead and play around, you'll figure out what everything does eventually. Oh! Don't press the missile button, it actually launches missiles.

>>26947511
>>26947858
Damn right. My mother's car HATES me, and loves to humiliate me by fucking with my gear changes. It'll mysteriously lose third while cornering, the spring in the gear lever is broken so you can't leave it out of gear, so I took to just jamming it into second with the clutch held down while braking, just so it wouldn't wander off.
It once shed an exhaust on the motorway. The brakes have no end of corrosion issues. Run it through standing water at speed, and you could feel it bouncing off the underside of the floor. And the speakers overloaded or shook loose or something after too many hours playing metal at high volumes.
Fucking HATE small cars. So glad I've finally got my own. Even if I need to nurse it back to health.

>>26950298
Mine don't. The bonnet does, but the boot has a button that opens it that's only operable on the hatch itself. And the fuel hatch locks with the doors.
Some cars have only the key used for doors, boot, and fuel cap.

-The ship's drive is quirky, resulting in an abnormal variance between time passed in real-space and jump-space. A disturbing side effect of this is that the crew will sometimes experience the "blind-spot" effect.

-The ship was built by Vegans. Since they evolved in a much dimmer solar system, their requirements for ambient light for clear sight are much lower- as a result, the entire ship is kept rather dim, by Terran standards. It's actually kinda creepy.

-The last owner of the ship painted it with thermally reactive paint. As a result, you sometimes come back to the ship only to find a small congregation of yokels starting in slack-jawed wonderment as the colors of the ship shift beautifully as the day grows hotter and colder.

-The last owner replaced the seats in the bridge with lawn-chairs. They are comfortable, but you feel a bit unprofessional in them. The Captain's chair has a little mesh-net cup holder.

-All controls have been wired to the Captain's chair. He controls every aspect of the ship except opening and closing the "automatic" doors. That is your job and here is the switch board. The labels wore off long ago but don't worry, you'll get used to it.

>>26937160
You make it a Ship thats well past its use by date and then some, It's almost always close to falling apart due to its age yet by some Miracle it hasn't yet & despite the fact its a Rusting heap of Scrap with engines and Instruments so Outdated it makes the Wheel look hightech, it's home for the Crew and that's what makes it Great.

>TLDR: Channel the Serenity HARD!

>>26953078
> Pontoons
I like that one.

>>26954077
> Not to mention the heat from re-entry, which makes the entire ship glow for hours.

> Vegans from Vega, not the blunt-toothed anti-meat idiots? We think the latter sort owned ours at one point; the entire ship is secreted with little mushroom plantations, apart from the janitor's closet. THAT has a little camping stove hidden away in a corner, and absolutely stinks of frying bacon. No amount of cleaning can remove the smell from the walls.

> The entire interior lighting and life support system rely on the engine being online and running. If you ever shut it down, you need to jump-start it from an external source, and the ship is unlivable until you can find an external source powerful enough to start it up. That's why we have tents, firewood, and a generator in the airlocks.

> Bridge stations explode in showers of sparks when the ship is struck by anything. Including the ground. This doesn't seem to harm them.

> Inertial dampeners are faulty, and cut out at times in different locations. The dent on the viewport is when it malfunctioned during docking; it threw one of the engineering staff clean off his feet and into the screen.

> Keep the shields up at all times when someone's using the astronomical viewing room. The windows that look so clear they're barely there? They aren't actually there at all. The glass is missing, nobody will cut it to fit and secure it right, and the entire room is open to hard vacuum without the shields up. HELL of a make-out spot, though.

> The auto-kitchen has one setting, and one setting only; omelette. It'll chop ingredients for you, and it's a damned good omelette, but it won't make anything else.

> The landing gear has been lowered. Badly. The belly of the ship is an inch or so off the ground, there's next to no travel on the gear legs, and the spinning rims are just gaudy.

> The hyperdrive needs a running start to work.

>>26954170
> There are no atmospheric engines. It's either the interplanetary thrusters or nothing. Better use a light touch.
> Same for RCS for docking. The main engine gimbal and intertial dampeners are all you get.

> There is no auto-wash on the main windscreen. All you get is a squeegee on a pole, an EVA suit, and a scraper.

> The main engine is from a ship ten times the size. Do NOT use full throttle. The inertial dampeners can't keep up with the acceleration if you do.
> Likewise, the throttle is reversed. Push forward to slow, pull back to go faster. Don't grab at it if you accelerate suddenly.

>The main screen on the bridge for the computer terminal blue screens every few weeks.

>The jukebox in the rec-room will usually play music if you hit the side of it, there is only 70's and 80's music from the 21st century though.

>The AI has the voice of a stereotypical slav and thinks it's 1943.

>The only thing in the armoury is old Finnish surplus, good thing reproduction parts are cheaper then a Las-gun.

>There is a training rocket stuck in the bulk head of the mess hall, don't pull it out because we aren't sure if it explodes or not.

>The left turret uses an older type rail-gun, it has to warm up for a minute.

> The ship is an old warship, later refitted for smuggling and then abandoned in a scrapyard for several decades.
>Half the buttons on the control panels do nothing, being intended for military hardware that was removed during decomissioning. Some have been rewired by the ships previous occupants, who kept the old labelts but left no notes on their new function.
>The ship contains numerous modifications, several of them highly illegal, as well as hidden compartments. Previously unknown ones turn up time to time.
>The ship clock runs on Terran Standard Time and cannot be recalibrated. This causes minor problems since Terran Standard Time hasn't been th galactic standard for the past 50 years.
>The port-and starboard gun batteries 2 and 3 have been converted to cargo bays, and refittted to allow rapid jettisoning of the contents to space. The buttons that jettison the cargo are some of the mislabeled ones.
>Artificial gravity on the bridge and engineering works fine, but several of the corridors have no gravity and the the gravity on the cargo and crew compartments sometimes cuts off.
>Starting the warp drives causes several error messages to appear on the main computer screen. Attempts to fix the problem have so far failed, but the drive seems to be working just fine.
>The engines have been modified to allow for extra speed at the risk of overheating them. While potentially useful, the modifications also results in the ship computer engaging emergency shut down unless proper safety protocols are disabled whenever the engines are turned on.
>The ship computer is running software atleast 50 years out of date, and tend to suffer from various glitches and slowdown. Many of the ship's systems are not compatiple with newer versions, so replacing the computer would be prohibitable expensive.

>>26942288
[You have some Impressive Implants... for a Potato]

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These faults and quirks are from our WEG d6 Star Wars game. we started out with a battered and beat up YG-4210 (pic related). The game was set about 3 months before ANH and those fuckers were antiquated back before the clone wars.

>we had five understrength droid brains cobbled together to run the slapdash navicomp array instead of the old "please program your destination now" manual input hyperdrive. Three of these droid brains hates each others guts..

>the laser cannon turret had been removed and replaced with the starboard escape pod. Where the starboard escape pod originally were we had a Ion cannon, sized for a capital ship, that was pretty much stuck on with spit, gum and maglocks and had a recharge rate of "if you miss, go take a coffee break".

>The signal dish had been broken off so many times and replaces with different models that any times that someone had replaces the standard antenna coupling with a snap-fit connector and five redundant maglocks. The fucker would still rattle and shake like crazy anytime we hit atmos.

>portside engine would clip out from time to time and had to be rebooted manually. this has done by running like the blazes down to the crawlspaces connecting teh engines to the rest of the ship, crawling for about 2 meters and then giving a certain panel a good kicking.

Someone as a joke changed the computers language to Japanese, no one reads Japanese and can no longer use that computer.

There is one button on the control panel that no-one knows what it does - not because no-one's brave enough to press it but because it does different things every time it's pressed. The helmsman swore blind last time he pressed it, the cargo bay got voided and it was a miracle there was nothing living or valuable inside. Then the assistant engineer pushed it and it played La Cucaracha at 120 decibels for an hour. Someone slipped on it when we hit some turbulence going in for re-entry and ship AI started speaking in Cockney rhyming slang. When someone got drunk and hit it as a prank, the software glitches we'd been dealing with ever since that computer virus got into the mainframe just went away and we've never got an infection again.

No-one's quite brave enough to press it again.

>>26954652
>someone gets annoyed at the ship and just starts hitting the button over and over
>shoots out on a spring and hits them in the face

>>26954652

Once, I pressed that button and nothing happened.

Then I went to my quarters and someone had stuffed my spare shoes with wet noodles.

I don't even know.

>>26945844
sounds strangely like my tech support (mind you, I'm pretty good.)
>Flip the switch that is clearly labeled "Wi-Fi"
>Stop being lazy and just unplug it and plug another VGA cable in.
>Turn on the breaker THEN try and turn on the tablesaw.

>>26937160
Just make sure that when the going gets tough, you can always squeeze a few more space kilometres per hour out of her

>The ship was build by a race with physiology similar to earth amphibiants. The life-support maintains temperature and air humidity at tropical conditions.

>The ship is missing most of its computer interfaces, although the main CPU is still in place. Unfortunately the ship and CPU are of a very outdated design so finding replacement pieces has proven to be nearly impossible. So far the best solution has been to plug one of the ship's maintenance droids into the CPU and use it as an intermediary.

>Said maintenance droid's AI is not always co-operative and is likely to not follow orders exactly or get angry if it feels it is bossed around too much. It also considers performing its regular duties more important than flying the ship.

>The ship's hull is not airtight. Not a problem as long as the extrenal forcefield is working and keeps the air on the inside, but pray to God the thign never malfunctions or gets damaged.

>The ship is incapable of doign planetary landings, eighter through design (designing a ship that is capapble of operating in and out of atmosphere is difficult and expensive) or through damage sustained to the landing systems. Not a problem in systems with starbases and stations, but can cause difficulties on less developed planets.

>The loading system for the ship's weapons is broken and the ammunition must be loaded manually. This is problematic as the ship is armed with missiles that weight almost half a ton each.

>>26937545
>Turns game into futuristic American Pickers

>>26938374
>>26938381
Foolz is only a temporary archive. If you want a more permanent one, you should manually archive this thread at suptg.

Some of the quests I ran last year I had bookmarked on fooz, but when I went to check on them recently I discovered that they no longer existed.

That's it, every ship is going to be old and well used, full of quirks.

>Someone has painted flames along the jumpdrive core. It actually seems to start up faster, somehow.

>>26953052
If you ever have design something in one color, pick green. It's the one color humans can distinguish better than any other. You can literally see more shades of green than you can of red or blue.

>>26956028
How could someone metaphorically see more shades of green than red or blue

File: 1378045387129.pdf-(4.28 MB, PDF, 00 Starship Catalog.pdf)

4.28 MB PDF

>>26953078
>-The ship was built on a water world. As such, it does not have landing gear or landing skids. It has landing pontoons. If the PC's need to land somewhere, they must find a body of liquid to do it on.
I actually have ships like that in my Starship Catalog.

>>26954652
I pressed it and every light in the ship turned orange.

Even the ones not hooked up to the central system.

Cap's been complaining about his reading lamp for the past month.