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You are Ssen, a Lamia raised by a human Paladin who adopted you after killing the ones who birthed you. You are grown now, and Father has passed on. After a great deal of work, you have become a Paladin like your Father, and now take up his duties.

You are accompanied by your best friend from childhood, the insect druid Tricia; Mage, a magic user who ran away from his family of cannibal raiders known as the Ghouls (Yes, his name is Mage. It was his idea); Persephone, a 22-year old thief/ex-guerllia fighter (She goes by Peri), and Mari, a 13-year old prodigy scholar/now sniper, who has her mind and soul trapped within Peri's body; and Lea, a deeply religious musician/martial artist, trained by her father, a famous trainer for arena fighters, she's covered from her mouth down in bandages to hide the horrific state her body has become thanks to the 'cures' that saved her from cancer.

Your journey continues...

Opening theme song (NEW for Season 5!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0WH8hCMeug

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Lamia%20Quest

1d4 chan page w/battle stats: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Quest:Lamia_Daughter_Quest
>>
You're not sure if Citadel can bleed, but if it can then it's certainly bleeding now.

With a little smoke, sparks, and over-the-top showmanship, you crashed the 'tournament' of the Citadel of the Past. Saving the life of Sun, the Phoenix Empire agent. Citadel tried its usual tricks of altering reality and changing things, but you managed to break through that and fought the Paladin Commander that watched over this level of Citadel.

The Paladin Commander turned out to be one of the earlier Paladins, who returned to Citadel when Peace called for a summit. She had pits and pieces of Citadel merged into her flesh.

Your final attack on her, bypassed her physical form and went straight into Citadel itself. The 'Past' layer was temporarily severed from the rest of Citadel, all the people within it moved to different versions of the City, and most of the magic maintaining the illusion of an idealized, sanitized, past has faded.

It's a rather small area, since not too many people are overly endeared with the idea of paradise being an idyllic Past, but it's large enough for Shadow Company to move in, and get out of the War level.

Sun then dropped a bombshell on you, regarding the Phoenix Empire's presence within Citadel. The grand plan that the Heron Clan has, to use Citadel was the magical power source for a ritual that will be able to reshape souls was NOT originally their idea. It was Kingfisher's. The spymaster gave the Heron clan the idea in the first place. The Herons have apparently 'gone off script' according to Sun, and are not doing what Kingfisher wants them too. Hence his, and his cronies, presence within Citadel as well.
>>
You watch as Shadow Company, under Jonas' supervision, starts to set up shop. They're fortifying buildings, setting up shelters for non-combatants, and scrounging whatever supplies they can from this level.

"We need to move fast folks." Jonas says. "We don't know when Citadel might get back in control here, and we need to be able to respond when it does."

Princess aka 'The Other Paladin Serpent' and her handler are working diligently.

Sun is talking to Sideways, who is still in rope shackles.

Mage is consulting his maps and magical detection equipment, trying to see if there's anything on this level that he can use to locate the heart, or give you any kind of edge.

The other Dawnchasers are helping Shadow Company.
>>
Welcome back echo! Moving right on to business:

I refuse all blame for any negative consequences of severing a part of citadel, and am blaming beacon.

Did the sun ever turn back on, or is it still dark?
>>
>>26905269
Let's talk to our naga twin and and her handler. Tell them about all the friends she'll get to meet outside of Citadel, like Granny, Ssai, Ssah and so on
>>
Should we tie up Sun, too? It's kinda weird having one Kingfisher agent free and the other bound. They should either both be free or both bound.

Worst case, at least that way neither of them has to explain it to Kingfisher when we see him.
>>
>>26905447
yeah, we WERE sort of mid-hug with one of them when we left off, weren't we?

Also I want to thank the girl who was helping princess, since shit, I thought the domestic ones couldn't learn to talk.
>>
>>26905471
We should put him in a room next to sideways room, but not tied up.

The room for agents that didn't try to stab us.

He gets guards to watch him just like sideways, but more freedom of movement.
>>
First order of business, I think, is to sort out where Kingfisher might be.

We found Sideways in War and Sun in Past and we should figure out how they ended up in those places. Sideways might have been sent there because she wanted to fight us and Sun could be a pastaboo.

However, we need to know if this is the case. Have them give us a timeline of their arrival and the moment when they lost contact with the group.

Also, I think Sideways should be recruited.
>>
Rolled 11

You know I'm disappointed in Kingfisher. I thought from the piece from his perspective that he was against the Soul Rewrite plan.
>>
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>>26905518
Same. Kingfisher used to be cool, you know?
>>
>>26905518
>>26905536
eh, I don't mind if he tries to be god emperor or whatever, just don't touch the souls or commit atrocities while doing it.
>>
Oh! And speaking of Kingfisher's terrible plan, I have a question for mage: Can the soul rewrite plan be thwarted with the old "I make a wish before you do" trick? Use up all of Citadel's magic, none left for a soul rewrite.
>>
>>26905584
we don't want to do that, because citadel's magic in this circumstance is made of souls, and any wish would be disastrous for their continued... soul-itude.

Basically, it's a dream machine fueled by people.
>>
I say we find the other little spy before we get to kingfisher. There were 3 of em in this place werent' there?
>>26905557
I want to talk him down to emperor. He can't be both divine and interfering with mortals and going divine would cost too many lives atm
>>
>>26905518
>I thought from the piece from his perspective that he was against the Soul Rewrite plan.

He is. He does view as what Heron is doing as abhorrent and stupid. He just has his own plans.

You find Daisy and Princess. Daisy bows to you again. She was just a child, now she looks like she's in her early teens, and has had a bad time of it. Bags under the eyes, and small scars cover her hands and arms. Not combat scars, but scars of unforgiving labor.

Still she looks happy and honored to see you, and she's taken good care of Princess.

"We knew you'd come back, Lady Paladin. But thank you for letting Princess play you. She's been really...people were willing to give us a chance because they thought we had the Paladin Serpent on our side. A good third of our numbers are thanks to Princess' recruiting."
>>
Rolled 2

>>26905642

"Glad I could help, even if I couldn't be here myself. How are you holding up, personally?
>>
>>26905642
"Oh, that's no big issue. I'd probably have been helping you if I were here, but you know how it is, magic walls and invading armies. So how did that third of your number react when they found out she wasn't the real deal?
Oh, and how's princess' education going? I hear you two are making great progress, which is impressive for several reasons."
>>
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>>26905642
"I'm glad to hear it... but... do you know... why it took so long?"
>>
>>26905642
You've been through so much. You ALL have. I haven't been idle out there, but... I wasn't trapped in this nightmare. I still feel somewhat responsible for taking your childhoods away from you. And it not something I can fix or give back.
>>
Rolled 3

>>26905642
>>I thought from the piece from his perspective that he was against the Soul Rewrite plan.
>He is. He does view as what Heron is doing as abhorrent and stupid. He just has his own plans.

That isn't what came across from Sun. I thought Sun meant that Kingfisher had his own "soul rewrite" type plan.
>>
>>26905751
That's Sun's impression of it. Kingfisher might have only told him a part of the plan and then Sun inferred the rest.
>>
>>26905751
Kingfisher wants to rewrite his soul to divinity or something

That is what i got out of it.
>>
>>26905751
>I thought Sun meant that Kingfisher had his own "soul rewrite" type plan.

He does, but the execution and end result are different than Heron's. That's all Sun knows though. Herons doing Kingfisher's plan, but he's doing it completely wrong.
- - -
"Glad I could help, even if I couldn't be here myself." You say. "How are you holding up, personally?"

Daisy shrugs as she nails boards onto a barricade. "Alright. I guess. I mean, they don't put me out on the fighting, but I've had to duck a few arrows." She wipes her forehead. "I'd just like a night of real sleep. It's been very noisy."

"Alright, umm...do you know why it took so long for me to get back?" You ask.

Daisy bites her lip. "I've heard rumors. Magic, right?"
>>
>>26905853
"I messed up."
>>
>>26905853
"Yeah, magic. Long story involving a conspiracy and the guy at the head of it having some kind of deadman's trigger. Sort of. Basically caused citadel to implode in on itself, and it's been very hard to get back into it.
If you were curious, it's been a year and a half on the outside. A lot's changed."
>>
"Yeah, magic and me messing up. Long story involving a conspiracy and the guy at the head of it having some kind of deadman's trigger. Sort of. Basically caused citadel to implode in on itself, and it's been very hard to get back into it.

"If you were curious, it's been a year and a half on the outside. A lot's changed." You say.

"Oh." Daisy says. "Okay." She shrugs. "I've never been outside of Grand Citadel, you know. All of my friends and family are either gone, or here in Shadow Company." She squeezes Princess' shoulder. "Will I not be able to have Princess as a pet any more?"
>>
>>26905986
You'll always have Princess as a friend.
>>
>>26905986
"if she want's to be, I don't see why not"

(yes I think it's okay for lamia with pet level intelligence to be kept as pets if they are treated well.)
>>
>>26906045
I like this one.
>>
>>26905986
"You know, I've no idea. Probably up to princess, but a domestic naga who can truly speak is new, from what I know. "
>>
>>26906052
>>26906045
A mix of these. "Pet" is a dirty word, but it's probably the de facto reality.
>>
>>26906052
But we heard she can TALK! Like really talk. And is even learning to read.

One of the reasons I came over here, I wanted to give that a bit of a test.
>>
>>26906082
>>26906082
there human beings who would like nothing better than to be kept as a pet, and others who happy being kept as pets.
If princess wants to be a pet, i see no problem
>>
Rolled 18

>>26906045
seconding
>>
"I dunno, princess, what do you think?"

Test that cognition! Test it!
>>
>>26906122
My point is that we don't have to call it by the word "pet." She can be one if she wants to be, but that's not what we'll call it.

We can all agree that it's up to Princess. I'm just trying to be PC about it. Probably irrelevant in the long run.
>>
>>26906160
good point. we are all in agreement on the main point, if Princess wants to stay with Daisy, we won't separate them.
>>
"You'll always have Princess as a friend, but it's up to her if she's your pet or not." You say.

Princess gives Daisy a full serpent hug. "You can be Princees' pet!"

She laughs and hugs her back. "Okay, okay. We'll take turns. Now let go, Commander Jesspy says we need to finish this."

You hear a chuckle. Lea and Tricia are approaching. Lea's the one laughing and blushing, watching the two head off to get more wood and nails.

"I should give them some advice about collars." She says.

Tricia shakes her head. "I always forget how twisted you are."

"The things I could teach you and Ssen." Lea says with a smile visible through her facial bandages.

"Would give me nightmares for a week." Tricia finishes. She shakes her head and looks at you. "So, Sun and Sideways say that they're willing to share intel, but they want a few things in exchange. Mainly amnesty for their war crimes that they've done under Kingfisher's orders, and free passage back to the Empire Colony when this is over."

"Unless this is another elaborate trick of Kingfisher's," Lea says. "It sounds like the pair of them are tired of the spy game and want to disappear."

"Also Sideways still kinda wants to hurt you." Tricia says. "Not sure why, she doesn't want you dead...just 'beaten.' However she was rather vague on what that meant."

"Another complicated relationship involving the Paladin Serpent." Lea says. "I'm sure His Light is shocked to see it."

"You really are rather sarcastic today, aren't you?" Tricia asks.

"I just pulled three glass shards out of my chest. Forgive me for being crabby, also...other reasons." Lea says.

"Huh? OH! Oh...okay. Yeah." Tricia says. "So, think we can risk dealing with the birdies again? I mean, it's not like EVERY time we do we end up being burned. I'm sure we can trust them this time. I forget hon, what's the definition of insanity?"

"A Dawnchaser." Lea says not missing a beat.
>>
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>>26906315
>"We'll take turns!"
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>>26906315
>"I should give them some advice about collars." She says.
>"The things I could teach you and Ssen." Lea says with a smile visible through her facial bandages.
>>
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>>26906332
>>26906339
Little does Lea know, Tricia and Ssen sometimes play Hero And Monster.
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>>26906315
>Sun
"He helped us out and is free to go. But only if he tells us whether he has had any interest in the past of the PE or the Citadel."

>Sideways
"Well, we can't exactly have anyone carrying a grudge against us roaming around freely. She'll have to come with us."
>>
Rolled 2

>>26906315
>"I should give them some advice about collars." She says.
tfw you have no appropriate reaction image.

I think we should give the birds their guarantee
>>
>>26906315
this may be my favorite echo post ever.
Lea is really in top form here.

Also, challenge Sideways to a pun off, then let her 'beat' us.
>>
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That's our Lea!

As for the birds, I'm willing to be nice to them. But until this is over they should probably be considered prisoners of war.
>>
>>26906315
"Nightmares? You had a different attitude last time we were here."
>>
>>26906315
"Sun seemed to be on the level, and Sideways is fun. Deal."
>>
>>26906315
Wait a bit before responding
"I'm sorry, I was thinking about, er, not collars. Yeah. That's the ticket.
Anyway, I don't mind working with them. if they're going to backstab us either way, I'd prefer we were friendly about it first. As for the sideways issue, well, I'll teach her mud pluckin' or something. You guys never did like that one.
>>
Am I the only one interpreting Sideway's desires as a bit /more/?

Maybe we should try to get her to hook up with Lea.
>>
>>26906315
"Oh, I had intended to let them go and all that. Though, I have to ask, warcrimes?

I hope they weren't too bad."
>>
>>26906476
>Sideways has a crush on us

Oh, if we could only be so lucky.
>>
>>26906476
Lea's already hooking up with Barney. That poor, poor inventor.

Imagine the machines lea will have him create.
>>
>>26906501
Polygamy end still possible methinks.
>>
You know, we've HAD a rival slot open ever since robin knocked off. Nakai just aint cutting it, and Tricia's plans are far too sinister and long term.
>>
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>>26906476
Cai does not want to be beaten, she wants to BEAT. Us, specifically.
>>
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>>26906526
Me thinks as well!
>>
>>26906527
There's Beacon! Beacon, who has become the MANIFESTATION OF A GOD'S WRATH.
>>
>>26906505
I'd forgotten that. Remembering this makes me happy.

I'm up for forgiving the birdies, provided the warcrimes are sufficently non-ohmygodyoudoublehitler.
Then fully expect them to stab us in the back
>>
>>26906315
"Vague? That feel familiar."
>>
Rolled 13

>>26906526
But Beacon and Tricia and Twang and Ssen are still reeling from the loss of Clang, and you'd have them take another before getting over that loss?

For shame.
>>
>>26906544
1) damnnit you beat me to this
2) Barney is probably totally okay with this. He strikes me as a guy who likes to get creative, and Lea is a girl who can appreciate creativity and be creative in turn.
>>
>>26906597
We might never fill the Clang sized hole in our hearts his death has left, but damn if we won't try.
Maybe having Sideways to tease will ease our loss.
>>
>>26906532
That manga is well drawn. Is that a main character?

Please tell me it's not a rape doujin
>>
>>26906597
Clang is not dead damn it. He's just hurt and needs to be healed.
>>
>>26906621
The only question is if she can survive the process. As i recall, our last incident had us in a ball.
>>
>>26906630
Denial is a nature stage of mourning, Anon. He's dead. The shield can be fixed, but it won't be Clang. His machine spirit is lost to Citadel.
>>
>>26906597
>>26906621
>>26906630
I was thinking this is how clangs reproduce. One shield cracked in half, reforged into two shields.
>>
>>26906656
It's like a squid.
>>
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>>26906630
Anon, accept it. Clang is dead, rotting in Naraka. He failed his task, MISERABLY. Why, Ssen is getting hurt because he's not there! Isn't that terrible?

HA HA HA HA!
>>
>>26906664
That's Jellyfish.
>>
Well, Lea has officially distracted us. Good job, lea.
>>
>>26906713
stupid sexy bird
>>
>>26906686
Well, I was thinking of how squid die when the reproduce.
>>
Oh!

We should probably ask Lea what "other reasons."

That was an important hint.
>>
You take a moment to blink and shake your head. "I'm sorry, I was thinking about, er, not...umm...anyway, I think we can work with them for now. Sun seems to be on the level, and Sideways if fun.

"But let's hear about these 'war crimes' that they've done before we agree to that. Also, we should be prepared if they're going to backstab us. Maybe it'll be better if we can keep an eye on them."

Tricia nods, but Lea shrugs. "Alright, I suppose we need them if we want to face the Herons or Kingfisher. Or at least that's what we'll tell ourselves."

You follow the pair to where the Empire spies and the other Dawnchasers, are waiting.

"Alright, you two." Tricia says. "First things first, what crimes are you asking amnesty for?"

Sun holds up a hand to silence Sideways. "Multiple counts of murder, poisoning a desert tribe's water supply, placing mind control totems among the ettin, theft, burglary, arson, fraud, forgery, and light heresy." He pauses. "In that we've committed a light case of heresy."

"We faked a miracle to get a Desert Tribe to bow to the Empire." Sideways says. "It wasn't your Light religion though."
>>
>>26906776
We can probably smell/taste it already.
>>
>>26906676
I am going to be so pissed if it turns out the light's been playing us in the long con.
>>26906769
That's my suggestion. More clangs.
Possibly for Ssai and Ssah.
>>
>>26906790
"Only one miracle? Better track record than we got."
>>
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>>26906800
>>
>>26906625
Its called Teppu.

Its basically the standard martial arts mango with a perspective switch - the arrogant, violent rival is the main character.

And that's her on that page, fantasizing about beating the shit out of the 'hero''
>>
>>26906790
"Eh, most of that sounds like it's outside of my jurisdiction anyway. I'll need the recipe for that ettin pherimone, though. To counteract it. Yeah.
Oh, and how multiple were these murders?"
>>
>>26906856
Awesome. That sounds great. I like how it portrays her as genuinely having mental issues.
>>
>>26906790
"How many counts of murder we talking here?"
>>
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>>26906625
That is the MC, and it's not a rape doujin.

It's about womens MMA.

Sadly the artist has only produced a few chapters due to ill-health, and the releases come slower than a tidal wave of tar in winter.
>>
>>26906790
>"We faked a miracle to get a Desert Tribe to bow to the Empire."

"No need to apologize for that!
As for the murder, poisoning, and mind control; you'll have to work that off. You have... options...

How do you picture yourself spending your retirement?"
>>
>>26906790
"How many folk are in a desert tribe? And did that order come down from kingfisher?"
>>
>>26906902
>MMA

Aw, I was hoping it would be about real martial arts, or at least a real sport.
>>
>>26906949
>#SHOTS FIRED
>>
Well, that's all objectionable, but the poisoned water supply is the only thing I can't forgive. Not right away. But I'm sure we can work something out!

How about this, I've noticed that some words in the Phoenix tongue kinda sound like some words in our language, and vice versa. I need your input to see if any of these cross-lingual puns are any good...
>>
The most objectionable thing there is the poisoned water supply. Which is the kind of thing we'd stab a guy right up for trying.
>>
>>26906790
>poisoning a desert tribe's water supply, placing mind control totems among the ettin
These two I find most objectionable
>murder
I don't like it but it happens in the course of the infiltration and covert ops.
>the rest
I can ignore
>>
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>>26906949
Read it. You're going to like it anyway.

And then you catch up to the rest of us and know the curse that is no-new-releases-ever, a pain that can only be momentarily soothed by giving it to others.
>>
>>26906776
do you really need this explained?
Hint, Lea is probably not pregnant right now.

>>26906790
>We faked a miracle to get a Desert Tribe to bow to the Empire
Try not to look to guilty remembering when we did something similar.

other than that about what I expected. Horrible but they were black ops during a war, so no surprise
>>
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>>26907107
>do you really need this explained?
I may have missed some subtext.
>>
>>26907128
Lets just say she's hitting extra hard right now. And for about a week more.
>>
>>26907096
Damn, that woman is BUILT. She's like, a brick shithouse where all the bricks are OTHER BRICK SHITHOUSES. Her insanely long arms must let her grapple like fuck.
>>
>>26907172
If you think that crazy, you should know that she's going to be bleeding for days and it only makes her angrier.
>>
>>26906790
"Have you counteracted the poison yet?"

We can't have a poisoned well just out in the desert. That shit is evil.
>>
>>26907215
>26907215
How tall is she? It's like watching Attack on Titan. Only it's Attack on Incredibly Strong, Angry, Violent Japanese Woman Who Has Huge Guts. Only unlike Attack on Titan, that kid doesn't have a sword or impractical leg-grappling hooks.
>>
>>26907252
AND she wants to fuck.
>>
>>26907269
>"GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM GETS ME HOT."

Yeah. I can buy a martial arts comic about someone like that.
>>
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>>26907252
>>26907269
>>26907282
...are we talking about Teppu again?
>>
>>26907307
Possibly. I am rather tired. And cold. And sick.
>>
We couldn't keep the last murderer from being executed because the law demanded he died.

But good news! I don't think our laws cover things that aren't in our country! Or even in citadel territory!
>>
"Despite our own history with light heresy, some of that stuff is pretty serious." You say. "The poisoning thing and the ettin plan will take a while to work off. As for the rest...how many counts of murder we talking here?"

Sun shrugs. {After a while it kind of blurs. We remember our firsts, the ones that got us into Kingfisher's employee. After that...it's just a part of what we did...do.}
>>
>>26907609
"Lea... what's the population of Citadel?"

>number

"Tell you what, Sun. When this place comes down, it's going to come down on a lot of people's heads. Yours, mine, and everyone in it. You organize a successful evacuation of civilians with the help of Shadow Company and the Freed and I'll consider your crimes forgiven.

If your evacuation is less than successful, deal's off. Fair?
And no, I'm not asking you to fight any Citadel things. Just have things in place such that everyone runs towards the exit sign when the time comes. You have permission to request a team of Shadows and Freed to assist you. It's something that I was probably going to have to do and... well... I'm volunteering you for it in my stead."
>>
>>26907609
"{That is understandable I suppose. Will you both be okay if the Kingfisher lives? I don't like the idea of you both getting sucked back into his scheming if I don't have to kill him.}"
>>
>>26907609
Shrug.
"Eh, I suppose that'll have to do. If I sent you to the gallows for your spywork, then I'd have to send all the spies to the gallows, and mass hangings like that don't quite seem right. Besides, I'd have to go and invent some new legal powers to actually have the law on my side for that, which is a hassle. We'll have to get you guys to nail down the position of the well and what poison you used, and we'll follow up with you on that ettin thing. It'd probably help to know exactly how you did what you did to better undo it, you can talk to mage about that one.
Onto the next part of the conversation- keeping you guys from doing this kind of thing again. How on earth do you keep your eye on some spies? Even if I kept kingfisher under lock and key, he could still probably order you around for mischief with that fancy talking through another person thing."
>>
>>26907759
I like this.
>>
>>26907759
We need some kind of assurance from them of loyalty before we can actually give them people.

Unless we give those people strict orders to keep an eye on them and not let them get up to any funny business.
>>
Important question:
"What do you plan on doing once you get to the phoenix colony?"

The key to successful rehabilitation is a gainful new life.
>>
>>26907842
I think that's the idea. And the thing is that, without the Freed, they're good as lost. They need to cooperate.

The orders should be that if they see any PE personnel, they are to return to base immediately and report it in.
Furthermore, they only have approval to clear out levels we've been to ourselves. I have a suspicion that one level is a hub for the Citadel Things and thus sending in an evac team would be suicide. Only confirmed civilian levels are acceptable to travel to. No exploring.

Oh, and the Freed should tell us what each level is like. I'm kinda curious about Peace, Youth, Aged, and Future.
>>
>>26907976
Agreed. Ask Sideways how many children she plans to have.
>>
>>26908020
nah
>>
>>26908035
>joke
>>
>>26908020
If speculation hold true. She isn't aware it is an option.
>>
>>26908004
yeah, we should get ourselves a layout of the potential citadels. I want to visit the fall feasting tables. I mean recon. Recon the feasting tables.
>>26908020
So I think we're of the plan of give them some people/wardens to help them evacuate/ensure they don't doublecross, and be extremely nosy about their post-spy life.
>>
>>26908057
Recon everything. After all, Kingfisher could reasonably be anywhere. My bet is on Fortune, though.
>>
>>26908088
>go gambling in fortune
>meet kingfisher
>have wacky vegas adventure full of comical backstabbing
We need to have a talk with him about those poisoning orders though. And the soul thing. And him generally being a dick.

I'm glad about it though, because having a foe you can actually talk to is a damn luxury for us.
>>
>>26908193
we've literaly had fullblown conversations with pretty much every enemy (cept maybe drak god cause hes batshit crazy)
>>
>>26908303
okay, not talk to, but like...
A foe who isn't a gory mishmash of parts. Or cannibals who eat their own if they fail. Or a vague ethereal god force.

Maybe my point doesn't have that much weight.
>>
>>26908331
more of an enemy we may not have to kill in the end
>>
>>26908355
yes, that might be the point I am trying to make.
>>
>>26908371
yes, kingfisher really does seem broish

if at all possible id like to see him take control of the southern colony of the empire and succeed from them and help us wage war on them

just gotta get the world dimination plans outta his head
>>
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>>26908418
>since the reveal, our plans for Kingfisher to become the objectivist king of the southern colony seem less and less likely
>>
>>26908418
Eh, I don't care about world domination plans. S'fine if someone tries, heck, even succeeds at ruling the world. I feel obligated to intervene if they start doing things like executing civilians or bringing down unfair laws, though.
>>
"Eh, I suppose that'll have to do. If I sent you to the gallows for your spywork, then I'd have to send all the spies to the gallows, and mass hangings like that don't quite seem right. Besides, I'd have to go and invent some new legal powers to actually have the law on my side for that, which is a hassle. We'll have to get you guys to nail down the position of the well and what poison you used, and we'll follow up with you on that ettin thing. It'd probably help to know exactly how you did what you did to better undo it, you can talk to Mage about that one."

They nod.

"So what do you plan on doing once you get to the Phoenix Colony?" You ask.

"Live a life that's not this." Sun says.

"Sell flowers." Sideways says, her voice dripping with sarcasm and 'fuck you.'

"Alright, do you have a way of keep track of each other? Do you know where Kingfisher, or you partners, or the Herons are?" You ask.

{Nah, we had these.} Sun holds out a string of green beads. {But they aren't working inside here...wait...hang on.} He looks at hte string, one of them is sligly glowing. {Cai, why is yours working now? Do we have to be near each other or what?}

Cai frowns at Sun and looks at you. It's obvious that she doesn't want to say too much with you present, or that she's happy that Sun showed his ignorance of the nature of Citadel.

"Alright," You say. "Here's the deal. When this place comes down, it's going to come down on a lot of people's heads. Yours, mine, and everyone in it. You organize a successful evacuation of civilians with the help of Shadow Company and the Freed and I'll consider your crimes forgiven. Screw me over, and deals off. Okay?"

Both of the Empire spies look at each other and then nod.

"Deal."

Mage nods at something behind you. You turn and see Janos coming with Odette.

"The Freed have information." The leader of Shadow Company says.

- - There's some disturbances on different levels. Might be more birds. Also found safe site for Mage to find Heart.- -
>>
>>26908482
"Marvelous, just when I was thinking I might get to take a lunch break. Stopping any of the birds from reaching the heart takes priority, so tell me about those disturbances first. I expect there's only four or five."
>>
>>26908482
"Can you tell which birds are which? I'd rather gather up all the spies before I take on Kingfisher. You guys think he'll owe me more for rounding you all up?"
>>
>>26908482
...more? or do u need input?
>>
>>26908482
"Alright! Let's get to it, hopefully a bit more subtle this time. Just give us a bit of information on Summer, Fall, Youth, Aged, Peace, and Tomorrow so we can know what we're getting in to."
>>
>>26908601
u think he'll make it that easy on us?
>>
>>26908482
>selling flowers
I'm holding her to that.
Even if they're just flower-patterns on whatever she winds up doing. Hopefully blacksmithing.

Also, Sideways wants to beat us at something. We have to think of a good thing we can compete in.
>>
>>26908617
>>26908583
are you talking on a cell phone or something?
>>
>>26908617
Hey, brief description is all I'm fishing for. Like if Youth is one big kindergarten or more of a breeding center. Especially Peace. I got theories on the others, but I have no idea what Peace might be like.
>>
>>26908577
adding on to this
"Also do you think we could use your beads to find the your partners if we gave one set to one of the Freed?"
>>
>>26908671
Peace is the scariest one. I imagine it's the control center.

Either that or it's the place where we finally have time to sit on rocks.
>>
>>26908641
...no?

>>26908671
i really really hope its peace like calmness and not peace like muderdemon/sword that hates us
>>
>>26908482
"Alright, howabout we sit down for a bite to eat while you tell us about the disturbances. Also, some info about Summer, Fall, Youth, Aged, Peace, and Future could be useful."
>>
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>>26908700
>giant sunning rock

Light give us strength.
>>
>>26908748
>light attempts to give divine intervention
>just makes rock warmer
>>
>>26908303
No, we had a conversation with him too.

Granted, it was while he was being a gigantic dick and mocking Lamia Alzheimer's, but still.
>>
>>26908629
She can "compete" with us in not being a lamia.

She wins, game over, everyone gets on with their lives.
>>
>>26908775
>snap out of it when Trica dumps a bucket of ice water on us
>>
>>26908789
I think the competition has to be satisfying.
>>
>>26908778
Naga. Granny is a Naga. We actually have no idea how Lamia minds age considering the leviathan content.
>>
>>26908778
i think that was actualy peace in that one

tho we did banter with the dark god during the fight
>>
>>26908807
Talking to stumps is a thing evidently
>>
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>>26908818
No, it was both of them doing pic related.
>>
>>26908807
>>26908778
We're going to go mad, not alzheimersy.
That pause we have when we talk to people and have to make a decision is going to slowly get longer.
We're going to talk to stumps.
Hopefully in a benign way.
>>26908805
mud pluckin'. I'm tellin' ya.
>>26908797
Tricia is always there to break us out of it if we are relaxing too much. Just like we're there to break her out of it if she locks herself in a sugar silo.


Also damn 4chan eating my posts.
>>
>>26908827
on a related note, is the sword still with us or did citadel reclaim it?... cause that could be really really bad
>>
>>26908818
They both joined in.

Basically doing the equivalent of sitting on the sidelines and heckling, since that's all they're able to do since we slapped their shit.
>>
>>26908822
We talk to inanimate objects, and some of them talk back. There aren't many more lines to cross before we're officially insane.

Also, I wonder what was up with Lea earlier. Tricia seemed to pick up on it, so it's probably some sort of icky human thing.
>>
>>26908864
it's already happening. Beacon might perhaps have some kind of spirit in there, but clang? We made that out of a lump of quicksilver. We talk to him regularly and mourn his loss.

Madness.
>>
>>26908864
yeah, icky human thing. We probably won't have to worry about it.
(until we're 70)
>>
>>26908898
No, there was a machine spirit inside of Clang. That is how history will be written.
>>
hey, uh... I wrote up this short thing after all the speculation on what Isen and the kids are up to in Stone Hall.

The king was adjusting his mantle in the mirror while his minotaur girlfriend fussed over his hair. He was not nervous. His Majestic Audaciousness was never nervous, yet he could not quiet the faint unease that put his stomach off the magnificent feast he was hosting for all the recent additions from White Tree. A few were merchents, but the largest influx was of Blesssed. All were humans, new to the idea of living in a multi-species community, and unused to hearing even Elves speaking the human tongue. Tara smiled, weakly, and pushed her hair up over her horns and kissed his cheek. She could do nothing to keep his hair from falling out of its pomp and into his eyes, but she didn't think it made him any less handsome, even with that paunch that was growing larger the longer he was kept from fighting.

"The kitchen tells me you're not eating anything tonight?"

Isen gave up on the mantle. "Not hungry. Besides, I can't stand up and address the crowd with chicken between my teeth. They're looking for any reason to call the king a fool."
>>
"Marvelous, just when I was thinking I might get to take a lunch break. Stopping any of the birds from reaching the heart takes priority, so tell me about those disturbances first. I expect there's only four or five." You say.

Odette holds up two fingers.

"Alright, so can you tell which birds are which? I'd rather gather up all the spies before I take on Kingfisher. You guys think he'll owe me more for rounding you all up?" You ask the others.

"There's four more of us." Cai says. "You remember Dao. She's the one with the crystal staff. Then there's Memai, Teo-Has, and Wakari. And Kingfisher and the Herons."

{Dao and Memai you can mildly trust, they're as 'corrupt' as we are. Teo-Has and Wakari will obey Kingfisher even if he ordered them to slit his throats.} Sun says. You translate for the others.

"Alright." Mage says with a sigh. "Any chance that this new site is on this level?"

Odette shakes her head. - -Same levels as the disturbances.- -

"Well, that's fortunate." Peri says. "Maybe too fortunate."

- -Disturbances allow Freed to secure sites as Workers are busy.- -

"Oh, that makes more sense." Mari says. "So...what sites are these?"

Roll 2d10, looking for repeats.
>>
>>26908930

Tara nodded, aware of the prattle already issuing from the immigrants from White Tree about the king's colorful relations. "I could sit at a different table, honey. You know, if it would help the politics?"

"Tara, baby," he smiled, showing off his teeth. "You are the only political thing I ever want to do."

Tara's ears twitched and she covered her mouth in embarrassment. Isen attached the ceremonial sword to his belt. Bright and gaudy and dashing as hell, but thin as a leaf and duller than cheese. "It was a lot easier when I could just kill things."

Tara grinned. "Just wait a few months and the Paladin Serpent will show up at the gates with tons of new problems that need killing."

Isen laughed. "Wish I could trade spots with her. Ssen's better at speeches."

Tara wrinkled her nose. "No. She really isn't."

Two little lamia girls giggled from the doorway and Isen snapped his head around just in time to see their tails darting away. The Paladin's nieces were guest of the crown, and young emissaries for their race. Ssai took to her duty with the same dignity and poise she imagined her Aunt held on the battlefield. Ssah was bored, and had already unravled the blue ribbon chosen to match her scales from her braid and was perforating it with her teeth.
>>
Rolled 7, 6 = 13

>>26908942
>>
Rolled 6, 9 = 15

>>26908942
>>
Rolled 6, 10 = 16

>>26908942
and once more we ride the quantum entanglement coaster.
>>
Rolled 8, 6 = 14

>>26908953
>>26908959
>>26908966
>6
>6
>6
Is that a repeat?
>>
Rolled 1

>>26908942
>>
>>26908977
yes
>>
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>>26908977
>>26908966
>>26908959
>>26908953
>6
That's uncanny...
>>
Rolled 1, 8 = 9

>>26908950
fuck
>>
Rolled 2, 1 = 3

>>26908942
aw, jeeze, sorry echo, didn't mean to be disruptive!
>>
i like how the other numbers of the first 4 were
>7
>8
>9
>10
>>
>>26908993
It was OK stuff, though I doubt there would be many actual immigrants from white tree yet. I mean, it was only like a few days ago that battle was.

Maybe I'm just a sucker for anything involving Ssai and Ssah. Especially giving them ribbons.
>>
after 6 the next number will be either 8 or 1.
>>
Rolled 10, 5 = 15

>>26909053
there is more, but I don't know if I should keep going with us in the midst of rolling
>>
>>26909077
eh, just put it out there next time echo takes a break or something. He sometimes calls commercial time.
>>
>>26909077
Magical Girl Noir does fanfic, but always at the end. I'd advise you to take the same approach.
>>
Rolled 8, 1 = 9

>>26909123
Got it. Thank you!
>>
-Youth, and Peace.- She pauses and then scribbles some more. -Activity in War too, but that is not new.- -

"Can you at least get us to one of those places without us randomly going from Citadel to Citadel?" Mari asks.

Odette nods. - -With no presence, Freed have full control of Past, passage easy to other areas, way back will be harder, since Citadel will be watching.- -

"Alright. Thanks." Lea says. She looks at you. "So, three lovely options."
>>
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>>26909154
>Youth
>>
>>26909154
"I'm leaning towards youth, that sounds like an important place to secure first.
Speaking of, can you tell me a little about the place? Peace too? I already saw war's deal, but I prefer to not go in blind if I don't have to."
>>
>>26909154
"Well we've already been to war, and you know what happened last time we went for Peace early."
>>
>>26909154
Let's not read Tolstoy as that's gonna take forever so no War or Peace.
So Youth
>>
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>>26909228
>>
seems like we're agreed on youth, mostly because of pavlovian aversion to things that sound like peace.

Also, can we send some guys to investigate the war disturbance? I mean, they've been tramping around there for years, it's bound to be a bit familiar to them.
>>
Have we seen anyone other than humans while we were here, by the way?

From what I understand, citadel likes having a few monsters around, if only for heroes to slay.
>>
>>26909385
I've been wondering that myself, but I have a bad feeling they all got sent to war early on.
>>
>>26909409
I have a lot of these bad feelings. I suppose we did see princess, she was OK.
>>
>>26909423
Yeah, but Princess was in War.
>>
>>26909427
hence having bad feelings. I don't want to go back to war, because of time bullshit, but we should really do something about it. I suppose cutting straight the the citadel heart would solve the issue, but then we have to deal with the logistics of refugee armies.
>>
>>26909459
Citadel's time fuckery won't effect us. Echo told us so earlier.
>>
>>26909528
hmmm. That might change some things.

Still wanna check out youth first, but maybe we'll run some refugee evacuations in war. Or we'll get our new spies to do it, we have two of them, and they're supposed to be just as disconnected from citadel as we are. I think.
>>
"Alright, so we'll head to Youth. However, I think you need to start extracting people from War." You say to Janos.

"Agreed." He says. "We'll leave a token force at the Theater, and let them think we're still stuck there. In the mean time, we'll be pulling people here, from there."

"So what do we do with these two?" Tricia asks, pointing to Sun and Cai.
>>
>>26909528
He told us it didn't affect us yet because it hadn't noticed us.
Now it does. If it doesn't tempt us a little I will be highly disappointed.
>>
>>26909609
"They're competent tricksy backstabbers. So, with your OK, Janos, we'll be sticking them each with a squad of your men and put them to work. They can help evacuate war, get some practice in for when the wall falls and we have to evacuate everybody."
>>
>>26909720
Practice evacuations. I like it.
>>
>>26909609
"Winter, to establish some new outposts in preparation for an eventual evac. I know Sideways has experience in this kind of work. After that's done, Spring.
After Spring, I'll leave it up to Janos."
>>
>>26909759
>>26909720
oh! Yes! Evacuation drills for everyone!
We also need to get a message to that family in winter, we left them hanging like an hour, two hours ago, in a state of high religious panic.

Someone needs to go and tell them that we got sucked into another dimension, as was their son.
>>
So, war and then onto winter and spring? That's the agreed combi-plan?

Or vice versa?
>>
>>26909928
The problem I have with war is the time thing and the fact that the group who is there will be there on a long term basis. Better let Shadow Company take and hold war.
Winter and Spring will be new territory. Sideways knows how to set up and maintain a cover and a hiding location and Sun is indispensable for golem support.
>>
>>26909948
Okay, so winter and spring it is, I'm fine with that. What exactly are they going to be doing there? I know there's work to be done to set up a proper evacuation route and get supplies stored and all that, but I'm not too familiar with disaster relief.
>>
"We'll send them to Winter, to establish some new outposts in preparation for an eventual evac. I know Sideways has experience in this kind of work. After that's done, Spring.

"After Spring, I'll leave it up to Janos." You say.

"You sure about that?" Lea asks. "You want to trust these two to run an operation on their own? Outside of supervision? I mean, no offense to your Shadow Company, but we've seen these two in action. They're killers...and the nasty type too."

"Hey, Sun's the killer who killed his wife and mother. I'm just a crazed murderer!" Sideways says.

"Who slaughtered entire household, women and children too." Sun says.

{Are we REALLY doing that again? I thought we all agreed that Memai had the biggest 'killer dick' out of all of us with her thirty-six and leave it at that?}

{She isn't here. Also, don't ANTAGONIZE THEM!}
>>
>>26910003
"{Any more lip from either of you and you both get to have fun with black poison again. I will also pose your limp bodies in hilarious poses.}"
>>
>>26910003
Please hold while I try to think of a good counterargument to lea's incredibly sound point.

"Well, we could always have the freed keep an eye on them. They're good at getting around undetected, right? If they do anything untowards, why, they'll lead us straight to whomever they happen to be cooperating with, and what a prize we'll have then.

Alternatively we could bring them with us, since I'm fair certain we could keep an eye on them. I'd rather not leave them in hostile captivity with the shadow company though, since if someone's going to get murdered for me being a softy, it really should be me."
>>
>>26910003
"If I trusted them, I'd be sending them to investigate the other disturbances. This is a good test to see if they'll just run off when given a chance, or if they're going to stick around for the ideal time to backstab me.

Oh, they could also be genuine about wanting to get out of the game, that would be a nice change of pace."
>>
>>26910003
"Lea, when someone asks to be forgiven, we can't deny them. I have faith that they'll turn away from the dark path they've walked and use their opportunity at freedom wisely.

And if they don't, I'll find them. And what will happen next won't involve puns. My mercy and patience have their limits and I will offer this chance but once, is that understood, Sun? Sideways? No more murdering. Legal occupations have their charms, namely not having your bones melted."
>>
>>26910178
I don't disagree with putting a little bit of a threat on there. Because we've let them go once, and this will be twice. If we need to hunt them down, that'll be thrice, and I've heard some nasty things about how even buddha will be upset when struck three times.
>>
{Any more lip from either of you and you both get to have fun with black poison again. I will also pose your limp bodies in hilarious poses.}

They both shut up.

You sigh and nod. "Well, we could always have the freed keep an eye on them. They're good at getting around undetected, right? If they do anything untowards, why, they'll lead us straight to whomever they happen to be cooperating with, and what a prize we'll have then.

"But, I have faith that they'll turn away from the dark path they've walked and use their opportunity at freedom wisely.

"And if they don't, I'll find them. And what will happen next won't involve puns. My mercy and patience have their limits and I will offer this chance but once, is that understood, Sun? Sideways? No more murdering. Legal occupations have their charms, namely not having your bones melted." You say.

"Hmph. I say that she's had more 'last chances' than anyone else deserves to get." Tricia says.

Lea swats her arm.

"Alright. So, we're really doing this?" Janos asks. "You want me to send these two into Winter with the Freed so they can evacuate and get us another staging point?"
>>
>>26910243
"Apparently I do, since lea's not smacking me for going nuts. Be careful working with them, will ya? I don't mind so much having to go after them, but having to go after them for killing some of your men is just much less pleasant.
And you two, gimme one of your glowy bead things, It'll make it much easier to find those disturbances."
>>
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>>26910243
>Echo is asking us again if we want to do it
>I can only assume he's implying it's a really bad idea

I hate it when DMs do this, even if they aren't implying anything.


"Yes. The Freed are their only ticket out of here. If they try and run, they're trapped in Winter. Besides, keeping them under lock and key would be a waste of their talents. And a waste of an opportunity to have me off their back once and for all."
>>
>>26910354
it IS a really bad idea, but I am going along with it anyway. Mostly because I want to avoid having a bunch of guards get murdered by their rescue team. We're going to get fucked by this in the final climactic battle
>>
>>26910372
I hope we don't. I want Sideways to get a good end so bad.
>>
>>26910444
I'm hoping for good ends for all, even the evil ones. Aint gonna happen.

>>26910243
Oh, we should also tell them to tell the family at the top of the cathedral we won't be along due to dimensional concerns. If they're still there.
>>
Nothing to do now other than get started on pre-regretting our decisions.
>>
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>Meanwhile
>>
>>26910586
Way ahead of you. We should say something to Sideways that might at least save her from any sudden but inevitable betrayals.

>>26910598
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMKngxLbPvQ
Clever girl...
>>
>>26910617
Nothing can stop us. Bags. Doors. Stairs.
Maybe stairs a little. And rope ladders a lot.
>>
>>26910617
I've no idea what more we could say to her to prevent betrayal. All I'm really hoping for from this is for the freed to follow them to some meeting point with another agent, who we can then capture or follow.
>>
>>26910683
Maybe we should tell her we're expecting great things from her, both now and in the future. She is, after all, our rival.
>>
>>26910771
That might work! Hopefully, she tries to rival us in heroing. Or comedy.
>>
"Yes. The Freed are their only ticket out of here. If they try and run, they're trapped in Winter. Besides, keeping them under lock and key would be a waste of their talents. And a waste of an opportunity to have me off their back once and for all." You say.

The other Dawnchasers look pretty aghast at your idea. You motion them over so you can talk in private.

"Either they're going to break out, or someone's going to go get them." You say. "If that happens, a lot of Shadow Company is going to die. This way, if they get away, they'll do so with the least amount of death. And who knows, maybe they really ARE on our side!"

"You have faith in them?" Lea asks.

You nod. "I do. I want to keep believing in people, or else...well or else we turn into Kingfisher and his type of people."

Lea nods. "Alright. I'm with you Ssen."

"Yeah, we've done stupider before." Mage says.

"Just because we've done stupider doesn't stop it from still being stupid." Mari says.

"But we're in." Peri says.

"You know me Snake. I'm with you...BUT I get to say 'I told you so' when they try and kill us again." Tricia says.

"Alright." You say to the pair. "You two understand that this is your LAST chance? Also, that without the Freed, you'll be stuck."

They nod.

"Alright." Janos says. Yvonne and Ryan will take these two to Winter. Odette, prepare a path to Youth.

- -Youth is an interesting place- - Odette writes. - -In some cases it's more violent than War.- -
>>
>>26910796
It's going to be like a shitty JMMO, isn't it Echo?
>>
>>26910796
>youth more violent than war

I can believe that, children are cruel
>>
>>26910796
>In some cases it's more violent than War.

We're talking water balloon fights, right?
>>
>>26910859
>>26910852
Predicting right now that its going to be like the tooth fairies domain from Pratchett's hogfather.
>>
>>26910796
"Not exactly filling me with confidence here, Odette. If this is one of those children-are-cruel things, then you've successfully foiled my sinister plan of making baby-talk noises at some cute kids."

"Oh, and feel free to tell me so Tricia, this was a dumb one and I'll need some help feeling properly embarrassed about it when it mucks up."
>>
>>26910796
"Well, maybe it's time to spank some sense back into those kids."
>>
>>26910871
I'm predicting it's going to be all lord of the flies.
>>
>>26910941
Oh god, you're right, aren't you? The kids are all a bunch of tribals.
>>
"Not exactly filling me with confidence here, Odette. If this is one of those children-are-cruel things, then you've successfully foiled my sinister plan of making baby-talk noises at some cute kids."

Oh, and feel free to tell me so Tricia, this was a dumb one and I'll need some help feeling properly embarrassed about it when it mucks up." You say. "Alright, I suppose it's time to spank some sense into those kids." You say as Odette leads you into a shack with a very ornate looking back door.

"Why do you always say those stupid things?" Peri asks. "I'm really praying that's a Leviathan crazy thing, cause I've heard Tricia and Mage do it too. You do realize that if WE ever start doing that, our only recourse will have to be suicide, on the spot."

"I actually agree with that." Lea says.

"Really?"

Lea's response is to punch Peri/Mari in the shoulder.

"Oww!"

Odette shakes her blindfolded head. You can tell she's regretting not having another very high window to jump out of right now.

She puts a hand on the door and steps into it, and vanishes. After a moment the door opens on its own, Odette is on the other side motioning you to follow quickly.

You do, the door opens to what looks like...

"A bakery?" Tricia says. She smells the air and smiles. "Ooooh honeycomb."

"AH! SSEN! DUCK!" Peri yells.

Roll 1d20
>>
Rolled 7

>>26910965
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U104DXEYHbA
>>
Rolled 5

>>26910965
Do one of those nice limbo-style backwards ducks. We can do them freely, since we're a snake. Also we can't do a classic duck. Because we're a snake.
>>
Rolled 2

>>26910965
>>
Rolled 11

>>26910965
"Don't worry, it's probably just me going mad per-"

Then get interrupted.
>>
>>26910987
>>26911002
>>26911010
Pie in the face.
>>
Rolled 15

>>26911053
And if that's the case we immediately return fire.
>>
>>26911061
and thus, ssen immediately falls for the Siren's call of the eternal citadel piefight.
>>
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>>26911077
I bet you'd just stand there and take it then.
>>
>>26911092
Nah, go for it. Piefight.

Lea and peri/meri are sure to break us out of it once it goes on too long. Mage/tricia might fall into it, since apparently they caught a bit of our craziness.
>>
You turn just in time to get smashed in the face by something semi-solid, lumpy, and disgustingly sweet.

The pie plate slowly slides off your face, and you flick your tongue out.

Apple. Ick.

Raucous laughter is heard and you see...well...it's one of those things like the Cathedral in the SIlver City. You see a man and a woman dressed in ridiculous clothing, with smeared makeup and filthy hair run out of the bakery, another pie under their arms. You ALSO see a boy and a girl run out into the street, a pie under their arms.

You all step out of the bakery and look at a world of...well...finery and chaos. Simplicity and complexity.

There's a mob of maybe-kids playing some stickball in the street. Another group of girls are having lunch in what is possibly the most lacy, pink, and frilliest rooftop garden you've every seen in your life. Another building seems to be devoted to be filled with fine china and pottery...for the express purpose of destruction by the kids inside.

The air is filled with laugher, cheers, insults, and well...the sounds of children.

"Well..." Lea says, wiping the collateral pie damage off of herself. "This is a change."

"I am reminded of my father's saying that there was never a child alive that didn't deserve a whuppin once in their life." Tricia says.

"Tricia!" Mage says. "Don't joke about stuff like that. Bad memories."

"Mage, there's a difference between hitting a kid and giving them a whuppin." Tricia says. "When you and Sophie have one, you'll learn."

"Don't say THAT either!"
>>
>>26911150
>no return fire option
>>
>>26911150
"Mage, I think you have to get used to the idea of being a father. Especially given how things tend to turn out between you and women of power."
"Now someone tell me where this disgusting pie came from, I couldn't see for obvious reasons."
Wipe it off on a nearby bakery tablecloth. This is kidzone, that shit is A-OK acceptable.

"Ugh, that's two sticky things that've assaulted me so far. Citadel is a different experience than I expected."
>>
>>26911199
we need to identify the perpetrator of this heinous act first.
>>
>>26911248
Exactly. But we need to grab a pie off the table.
>>
Now I'm wondering what the disturbance is going to be like. Is some PE guy going around scaring children?
>>
>>26911261
yes. We can be grabbing a pie while we do other things. Hell, we can pick it up with our tail while we wipe our face. Nobody expects how fast you can wing a pie with a good tail throw. And it's practice for flinging lea.
>>
>>26911150
"It could be a lot worse.

Might even have some fun here while we work."

Glance around for ammunition.
>>
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>>26911274
Good news is: It has nothing to do with the phoenix empire.
Bad news is, well, you'll see.
>>
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>>26911326
>Citadel is Pennywise
>>
"Mage, I think you have to get used to the idea of being a father. Especially given how things tend to turn out between you and women of power.

"Now someone tell me where this disgusting pie came from, I couldn't see for obvious reasons." You say as you grab a nearby curtain and wipe your face clean.

"Ugh, that's two sticky things that've assaulted me so far. Citadel is a different experience than I expected." You say.

"Yeah, well..." Tricia uses a finger to wipe a drip of apple pie gunk that you missed off you your forehead. She licks her finger with a smile. "Look on the bright side, it could have been strawberry."

"Strawberry nothing." You say as you grab another pie with your tail that's cooling on a counter. "Where are those brats?"

"Those two running down the road." Lea says. "Hang on...OI KIDS! YOU FORGOT SOMETHING!" She yells.

The pair of Not-Children turn and look at you for a moment. Perfect targets.

If you want to throw pies back at them, it's 2d20 +2

Just be aware...you're retaliating and joining in the fun.
>>
>>26911326
That was such a good movie.

"They all float."
>>
Rolled 2, 7 + 2 = 11

>>26911348
"Catch!"
>>
>>26911150
"She could have said you and your biological sister, or Mab, or that orc shaman, or Her Illuminated Self. I may be missing someone."
>>
>>26911348
i think we should ignore it this time.
>>
Rolled 9, 11 = 20

>>26911348
Whelp
>>
>>26911371
Live a little.
>>
Rolled 10, 4 = 14

>>26911348
It's a good chance to practice tail throws. And this is, I have to say, the best citadel ploy yet.

The key here is to just throw the pies and then move on. No breaking any china. And certainly no attrition pie warfare.
>>
>>26911348
Be an adult. Hold yourself above these people. Do not retaliate.
>>
Rolled 3, 12 + 2 = 17

>>26911348
"Rise up and meet your baker kids!"
>>
>>26911348
Voting to ignore.

No getting sucked into Citadel distractions.
>>
>>26911383
Plus the best way to interact with kids is to get down on their level. We can't be big bad serious no fun snake lady. That just drives people away. We have to be interested in what the kids are doing and get information while sipping tea or dribbling a ball.

But after that, move on.
>>
>>26911348
Same as with the revelers. We shouldn't get involved.
>>
I think we can ALL agree that this one is a lot more tempting than the revelers.
>>
We didn't join in Summer, we shouldn't join in Youth.
>>
>>26911421
>never do anything interesting in Citadel
>nope every temptation
>>
>>26911410
The pies are a trap.
>>
>>26911413
Well, this is arguably more fun.
>>
>>26911348
Oh man, it's Ssen's greatest weakness.
>>
I thought up that pun and everything
>>26911421
>>26911420
We may be expihitionistic while blastered but we aren't slutty
>>
>>26911426
We know.
>>
>>26911428
Which means it's more dangerous.

Seriously, it's like you want us to get mindfucked. You know what Citadel does to people.
>>
>>26911421
spring you mean, right? We've not been to summer yet.

And I do agree it's quite dangerous, but on the other hand... pies...
>>
>>26911428
Okay, so seeing a bit of a split here, calling a vote.

Start a pie war with the 'kids' yes, or no?
>>
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>>26911445
It's just two pies.
>>
>>26911453
No.
>>
>>26911453
yes
>>
>>26911453
No.
>>
>>26911453
Yes, because fun and this is the best temptation so far.
>>
>>26911453
no
>>
>>26911453
Aw hell no.
>>
>>26911453
No
>>
>>26911453
>start
This is retaliation my good man!
Yes, but on the predicate that we tell lea to smack us if we throw more than these two.
>>
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>>
>>26911453
No. Nope. Negatory.
>>
Ssen: Stand there, Pie in hand, shaking

"Damnit, I thought about how there was probably a soul in the pie, and it's just no fun any more."
>>
Can we at least agree to get down on the kid's level at some point?
>>
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>>26911453
I'll pass.
>>
>>26911522
We're too big for that.

Unless you want to hang upside down
>>
>>26911522
I'd like to, but we seem to be in about a 1/3 minority. I swear, the thread of mind control trap-pies is just too much for some people.
>>
>>26911535
By that I mean not be "that adult" this entire level. We need information. We can restore order later.
>>
>>26911535
>HELLO THERE SMALL HUMAN!
>OH GOD THEY'RE ATTACKING FROM THE TREES
>WHY DO THEY ALWAYS COME FROM THE TREES
>THIS ISN'T EVEN LOST
>>
>>26911535
Are you forgetting lamia bowing?
Also our spine is basically a noodle, so we could theoretically only have our waist up when talking to the kids. No snake part for extra height.
>>
>>26911541
I don't know why people think it's a one decision game over.
>>
Find meat pies. This is a bakery, they might have some actual food around here that isn't horrible fruit.
>>
>>26911586
I'm gonna just assume they would rather not deal with pie fight consequences. Which are significant, and involve even more stickyness.

We need like, some dew to roll around in or a hot tub or something. We usually have one or the other.
>>
"Damnit." You mutter through your fangs and put the pies back on the counter.

The kids laugh at you, blow raspberries, and take off to cause more mischief.

"Awww," Tricia says. You see her putting down a pie as well. "That looked like it was going to be fun."

"Citadel trap." You say.

"Oh. Oh, good call." Mari says. "Almost missed that. Last thing I want is to be a kid again."

"Aren't you already a kid?" Peri asks. "I mean, my body not withstanding...you're the youngest one here."

"I...was mature for my age." Mari says. "Now cram it, you old hag."

"Alright, children. That's enough, let's put the jokes aside." Lea says. "Odette? Where's the disturbance?"

"More importantly, where's the Peak I can use to find the heart?" Mage asks.

Odette shakes her head and hands you a piece of paper. - -The Courthouse/Jail. Both. Good luck. Leaving before I get graffiti on me like Ryan did when he was here. Need anything else?- -
>>
>>26911633
>Last thing I want is to be a kid again
Now I'm double disappointed. We could have had easy access to the entire area!
>>
>>26911633
"Any birds here?"
>>
>>26911633
"A bath, but that's not your obligation. Stay safe, Odette. I'm going to hope that they won't try graffiti on us."
>>
>>26911680
>Ssen: have the horrible realization that you have a lot of surface area open to be drawn on
>>
>>26911699
I am in the process of having that revelation. I hope none of them have any paint lying around. Or art supplies.

God, if we get some paper stars glued to us, that shit aint coming off until our next shedding time. We don't lose skin in flakes like humans do.
>>
>>26911633
Should we use this opportunity to tell Odette we don't consider her dead?
>>
>>26911727
>>26911680
swap out "stay safe" with "don't die", then.
>>
>>26911720
We'll get mage to figure out how to remove it.
>>
>>26911633
Courthouse/Jail. Good spot for No Fun Allowed.
Let's try to stick to the smaller roads so we don't get spotted and forced to have fun.
>>
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>>26911747
You're quite the No Fun person, yourself.
>>
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Paladins? Having fun? Unacceptable, work harder.
>>
"A bath, but that's not your obligation. Stay safe, Odette. I'm going to hope that they won't try graffiti on us." You say.

"Don't say stuff like that out loud." Mage says. Stating to look a little paranoid. "They travel in ravenous packs filled with savagery and flour paste."

"Oh and Odette..." You say to the retreating Freed.

Odette turns to 'look' at you with her blindfolded face.

"Don't die." You say.

Odette looks at the ground for a moment and then, in a flash, is hugging you. Drips of wet plaster and mud seep from below her blindfold.
>>
>>26911783
"I mean it. And tell all the others. We'll try to get you guys out of here."
>>
>>26911783
Full lamia hug time
>>
>>26911783
"Sorry about that other time."
Have we said sorry yet? I can never recall these things.
>>
>>26911794
this is good. We're already working on a golem lady back home, maybe something can be done for these ones.

Maybe.

I wonder where soul gems come from.
>>
>>26911794
Seconded.

I want us to be able to do something for her and the others, I really do.
>>
>>26911876
really, all we need to do is get a non-citadel power source for them and cut the citadel connection. Possible retrieve their true soul and put it in the thing if they're piloted by remote, but that's unlikely.

I mean, it would be a waste to not save as many souls as we can with these pre-made golem bodies.
>>
>>26911901
I'd also include allowing them to die if they wish it as "doing something."
>>
>>26911930
oh yeah, I forgot they couldn't die. We should probably fix that too.
>>
You give her a proper hug. "I mean it. And tell all the others. We'll try to get you guys out of here."

Her fingers are as scratchy and rough as the Workers were, but you don't flinch too much as she holds onto you tightly. Nodding.

"I'm sorry about that other time." You say.

She shakes her head that's buried in your shoulder.

After a moment, she lets go and brushes the plaster, dust, and mud off of your shoulder. She leaves without a note.

"We need to weaponize your hugs, sister dear." Mage says.

"Hasn't she been doing that since we started this mess?" Tricia asks.

"Not what I mean, and you know it!" Mage snaps. "Now come on, the sooner we can get to the courthouse, the sooner these kids and...not-kids can be..."

SPLAT.

A blueberry pie covers Mage's face. More laughter and sounds of children running away through the bakery's back exit.

"I swear, I will burn this entire city to the ground and dance on the ashes." He growls through clenched teeth.
>>
>>26911930
Yeah, as Golems they're going to be basically immortal, so suicide or assisted suicide should be available to the ones who just want to pass on.
>>
>>26911943
"Weren't you just complaining about me breaking the last Citadel we were at?"
>>
>>26911943
It looks like those guys are going to be following us until we return fire or do something else, so here's my idea: go somewhere where pie throwing would be disruptive to whatever activity is taking place.

Like the tea party. Go up there, ask if you can take a seat, and get some information about the courthouse.
>>
>>26911943
"That's a good swear. Real dramatic. Someone tell me if a meat pie comes their way, I might swing an early lunch. To the courthouse!"
>>
>>26911992
>>26911633
"do... we know where the courthouse is?"
>>
>>26912032
More importantly, do we even know WHAT the courthouse is or what the disturbance is? We're going in blind right now.
>>
"Weren't you just complaining about me breaking the last Citadel we were at?" You say.

"Oh fuck you." He says wiping his face.

"No, no. It's a good swear, very dramatic. Someone tell me if those two throw a meat pie. I could use a lunch." You say.

"Ignore them, and they'll get bored and move on." Lea says with infinite patience as she cleans Mage's face with a piece of cloth.

"Yes, Mother." Mage snaps as he grabs the cloth and wipes the blue/purple goo out of his hair.

"Do we know where the courthouse is?" You ask.

"If I remember right," Mari says. "It should be near the theater district that's by the Market. That's where it was in normal Citadel, at least."
>>
>>26912067
Information or just walk in blind?
That being said, asking a group of children who are closer to the courthouse would probably be more fruitful, so in either case start walking.
>>
>>26912067
"Drat, I guess that skips nicely over getting directions at a tea party. Lead the way, I'm going to keep my eye on those kids."

Wait for them to throw pies while we walk, and catch them intact with our stupidspeed. Everyone gets pies.
>>
>>26912067
You know something? Lea is a bard. Can we get her to sing to attact some kids so we can get information from them?
>>
>>26912117
yes, we can. Let's not do that until we're closer though, because crowds of kids in close proximity means we will get stars and crude drawings attached to ourselves.
>>
>>26912067
"5 Isens says the Paladin Commander has taken the role of judge, and if we run into another bird they'll be the defendant.."
>>
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>>26912117
Excellent idea!
>>
>>26912138
I imagine it'll be some KND type trial where the defendant is automatically guilty because they're an adult.
>>
>>26912146
guilty... of being OLD!
>>
"Drat, I guess that skips nicely over getting directions at a tea party. Lead the way, I'm going to keep my eye on those kids." You say.

"No reason we can't ask to get the lay of the land though." Mari says.

"Good point...hey Lea, can you sing or do something to get those girl's attention so we can ask a few questions?" You ask.

"Uhhh..." Lea scratches her head. "Well, sure...but...I don't know any appropriate children's songs. I mean, beyond lullabyes and learning songs." She says. "And while I know many a child who knows every verse to 'The Minotaur's Horn' or 'The Worst Town Of All' but I don't think those girls in frilly pink princess dresses would like it."

"You know the Worst Town of All?" Tricia says with a smile.

"Course! It's a classic!"

"It's the filthiest song in all of the Kingdom!"

"That's why it's a classic!"
>>
>>26912178
"And there's nothing that catches a child's attention like dirty words..."
>>
>>26912197
No, really. Kids will laugh for days over the word "poopy."
>>
>>26912178
"Bah, children's song, nonsense. Just something comedic, or violent, with a good tune to it. And I still need to get you to sing that naughty naga one some day."
>>
>>26912178
"Got anything about princesses? That could work as long as it isn't too graphic."
>>
Play this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6VMSYIXCCY
>>
I hope echo doesn't have to write a song now.
>>
"Bah, children's song, nonsense. Just something comedic, or violent, with a good tune to it. And I still need to get you to sing that naughty naga one some day." You say.

"Alright...I'll need a drum or a bucket at least." Lea says.

"Hold on, incoming salvo." Tricia says. "Everyone duck!"

1d20 to dodge incoming pie.
>>
Rolled 11

>>26912323
I still say return fire.
>>
Rolled 18

>>26912323
Redemption time
>>
Rolled 12

>>26912323
I wonder if we can catch one.

Also, a drum, eh? There's bound to be something around here. Paint can. Juice cask.
>>
Rolled 10

>>26912344
What about an empty pie tin?
>>
>>26912351
those usually don't have a good sound to them unless they're like, cast iron. Or you're going for a tinny high pitched deal.
>>
>>26912339
You quickquick dodge three pies as the others dive for cover.

"Cooooool!" The boy says. "Do that again!"

"Make her dodge a rock! Oooh ooh! Make her dodge fire-rockets!" She says.

"Oh yeah, that'd be awesome! Let's go get some!" The boy says.

They're about to take off.
>>
>>26912359
Are we really going to spend an inordinate amount of time looking for a drum substitute?
>>
>>26912369
quick quick in front of them, block their path with our coils
>>
>>26912369
"Oy, if you want me to show off, you just gotta ask. If you guys go get me a meatpie from wherever you're getting those things, why, maybe I'll let you have a piggyback ride."

Offering snake train to cancel out terrible things being thrown at us. That's my idea.
>>
>>26912385
I agree. Distract the kids with a less dangerous activity.
>>
>>26912371
God I hope not.
>>
>>26912395
Maybe this snake train idea will give us the kids we need. >>26912385

They're on our back, we take em for a ride, they tell us about the courthouse, we eat pie.
>>
>>26912406
it's the perfect scheme.

In b4 we're dogpiled by kids after they see we're letting some ride us.
>>
>>26912427
If that happens, we tell them to go look for a bacon stretcher.
>>
>>26912443
AKA. snipe hunt.
>>
>>26912450
it works. I'm just now hoping the kids take our offer, and don't abuse it by like having spiked shoes or something.
>>
You quickquick right infront of them, your tail blocking off their escape route. They're not sure to be excited or scared, but you smile at them and they relax a little.

"Hey, if you want me to show off, you just gotta ask! If you guys go get me a meatpie from wherever you're getting those things, why, maybe I'll let you have a piggyback ride." You say.

"Oh! A ride yes! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!" They say. "We'll get you a meat pie after, we PROMISE! PleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeeeeEEEEE?"

Mage rings his ear with a finger. "How do they HIT that tone?"
>>
>>26912497
"Ssssure. Yeah. Okay."
whisper to tricia
"did I just make a terrible mistake?"
>>
>>26912497
"Okay, okay. A meatpie after. But while you're riding, you have to talk about what's going on at the courthouse. There's something funny going on over there. Don't tell me you don't know, because then I won't let you ride."

>>26912511
"Where we this bad?"
>>
>>26912497
"I think it's the same way baby birds work, mage."
>>
"Ssssure. Yeah. Okay. But while you're riding we need to talk about the cour-OOOOF!!!" You wince as the two NOT-Kids who weigh as much as two fully grown adults, jump on your tail.

"I've made a terrible mistake." You say to Tricia.

"GO! GO! GOOOOO!" The 'kids' cheer.

"Smile and take it honey."

"Were WE ever this bad?"

"Counting how we would cause angry mobs who would threaten burn down our parents homes about three times a year?" Tricia asks. "Eh, mostly we were the 'filthy' kids, not 'noisy.' Anyway, the kids want a ride...and the nice Lamia Lady is going to give them one!"

"YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!"

The other Dawnchasers are laughing so hard, that they're having trouble standing.
>>
>>26912567
"I'm going to spike your drinks with black in a decade or two. Count on it."
>>
>>26912567
"Well, I'd take filthy kids over these little 'joys.' So, climb on and we'll go all the way to the Courthouse while you tell me what's going on there."
>>
>>26912567
At least they're not made of so much glass. I think these are citadel things.

Oh well, might be able to get some info from 'em.

"stop noticing how ridiculous this is, you guys, these two are heavy and it'll be hard to breathe if you make me laugh.
Now let's get going. Oof. Big kids. Say, little ones, we're heading to the courthouse. know anything odd that's been going on there? Apparently something is up."

Get slithering
>>
Well, I look forward to this.
Sort of. I mean, they ARE extremely dense citadel things. Or manchildren. I'm not sure.
>>
>>26912655
I'm betting the latter.
>>
"I'm going to spike your drinks with black in a decade or two. Count on it." You say as you give the 'kids' a ride as you head towards the Courthouse.

"Awww, regretting being the filthy kid?"

"I'll take filthy over these two 'joys'...ooofff AH TENDER TENDER NO KICKING!" ou shout. "So...little ones, we're heading to the courthouse, do you know of anything odd happening there?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. There's gonna be a trial, and then we're gonna have an AWESOME execution." The boy says. "We caught some SPIES! Can you believe it? SO cool."

"Yeah! Evil nasty Phoenix Empire spies, with weird clothing and weird hair, and weird words. So we're gonna figure out if they're guilty or not, then we're gonna execute them! There's a big vote, and then a lottery! I hope my vote wins." The girl says. "I said that after the trial we put them in a Biiiiig wooden egg and set it on FIRE!" She laughs. "Cool huh?"

"That was MY idea you LIAR!" The boy shoves the girl.

"Nuh uh!" "Uh huh!" Nuh uh!" "Uh huh!" Nu-"

"Children." Lea says calmly. "It was both your idea...okay?"

"Yes miss..." They say.

"Good. Now go have fun, and when you come back with a nice meat pie and some drinks, Miss Ssen will give you another ride."

"YAAAAAAAY!" They shriek in your ear. They (painfully and clumsily) get off your tail and start to take off.

"Ah ah ah...what do we say?" Lea says.

"Thank you." They say in that 'semi-annoyed' sing-song tone.

"You're welcome. Go have fun." Lea says.

The two take off.

"Okay, we've spent most of our existence dealing with mind control, but I think I've just seen a master at work." Peri says.

Lea shrugs. "It's all in the tone."
>>
>Spies

Plural.
>>
>>26912704
"MORE rides? Oh boy."
Drip this with sarcasm.
"So, they said they were going to execute them regardless of guilt, I think. I wonder what kind of theatrics would be best to get them out of that. I wonder how the magic spike's going to play out too, the last one had crazy self-replacing knights."
>>
>>26912704
"I hope they find that pie soon, the thought of those birds being cooked inside an egg is making me hungry"
>>
The possibilities are Dao and Memai (corrupted) and Memai, Teo-Has, and Wakari (loyal).

I'd bet 50 bucks that it's going to be a mix of corrupted and loyal.
>>
Calling it a night.

Next thread will be Sunday 3-6pm PST. Sept 1st.

May His Light watch over you.
>>
>>26912751
Goodnight Echo.

And could you please give us some temptations that can't just be NOPED out of?
>>
>>26912745
Ssen has been thinking of lunch ever since that arena fight.
>>26912749
I'm cool with that. we'll rescue them and then fight one.
>>
>>26912751
see ya echo! thanks for running!
>>26912758
No, he should just not tell us straight up that we'll be playing into citadel's hands. It would be enough to swing the vote.
>>
>>26912764
Voting to go non-lethal on em. It's just more to use against the Kingfisher.
>>
>>26912775
Agreed. I was a bit worried that the Snake Train might be a trap, but it turned out alright.
>>
>>26912781
nah, the snake train was us offering an adult thing.

Kids relish climbing all over adults.
>>
>>26912793
Well, it was a minor worry. Nothing happened, so there's no point arguing it if is or isn't.
>>
>>26912780
sure, we'll tie some of them up.
>>
>>26912780
The loyal ones could force a lethal confrontation. That being said, execution is not acceptable. We should still try non-lethal so as not to feed Citadel.
>>
>>26912799
oh, I'm not arguing, just giving my waaacky hypothesis.
>>
>>26912812
Black poison would work wonders, The two that are here don't sound to be armored at all.
>>
>>26912812
yeah, try not to kill people in citadel. Heck, we shouldn't even have killed those knights back in the arena, but I wasn't quite sure they were people and not golems.
>>
>>26912817
we should really teach some others to use black poison. It's really the most convenient form of the stuff. standard white is only really useful if you want to eat something.
>>
You know what would be funny? If it was Kingfisher.
>>
>>26912853
Doubtful. He's with the Herons and it sounds like Echo is going along with the desires to pick up all the spies first
>>
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>>26912853
It's probably kingfisher.
We get to be his defense attourney.
We will use leviathan-logic to work our way around the child's court system.

Also, I really hope some kids attack us with paper shapes and paste at some point. We need a snake covered in stars and hearts and glitter to come hobbling back through the portal to youth.
>>
>>26912859
Of course it's doubtful. I'm just picturing Kingfisher being tackled by a bunch of little kids the second he gets to Citadel, put on trial in a kangeroo court populated by small children, and then about to be executed wicker man style when Ssen comes and saves him.
>>
>>26912868
I do hope we get to play defense attorney. Oh god, I hope we get to do that, no matter how many loops we have to jump through to do it.
>>
>>26912872
wicker-egg style.
All this talk of eggs and burning birds makes me glad I have some quiche in the fridge.
>>
>>26912885
Ssen needs to eat before we get to Fall Feast. The pie throwing was fun and interesting, but gluttony is stupid.
>>
>>26912878
my prophetic visions dictate that we will totally do that. Because it would be kickass.
With our luck, though, the trial's already over by the time we get there. Without even giving time for the kids to give their vote about execution method.
>>
>>26912891
>we rig the vote
>he is to be executed by his greatest fear, a giant snake
>only one present
>>
>>26912894
yessssss this is the best future.
Children don't know about vote stuffing.
>>26912890
We could use a fleet of children to acquire us snacks.
As many snacks as they can get their mitts on.
>>
Well, giving rides seems to be our ticket. Unpleasant, heel-kicking rides.
>>
>>26912952
The snake train will only getting better with time.

Till we go batshit insane at least, then it simply gets less safe and more fun.
>>
>>26913011
>'till we go batshit insane
Up the tree with the snake train! Corkscrew coil style!

Oh, sorry about that, do be careful about not falling off.
>>
>>26913022
One thing we never really do is climb much. We've only done it to get up into the attic and to scare Paul
>>
>>26913091
we really don't -need- to climb much. We're usually dealing with stairs at the steepest.
Stupid human society not being built to exploit climbing poles.
Though, we could have probably done something with it back in one of those forest fights.


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