bump

>>26819948

Enter the cave, keep a couple skellys in front of you to activate traps

>>26819948

Make a bone 10ft pole, and go in tapping the fuck out of everything

>>26819977
>tap the fuck out of everything

We did that in the last thread too.

>30 well dressed skeletons
Skeleton orgy

>>26819948

Make a pole, give them to skeletons, double protection.

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>>26819990

>>26819987

Let's not start like this again. The last thread got pretty waylaid.

>>26820012

send a skeleton to trip it

>>26820012

Hook it with our trapsticks and see what happens

>>26820012

Try to figure out what the wire connects to, without setting the trap off.

>>26820012
Can't we just walk a fair bit away and then telekinesis the wire?

>>26820012
Just step over it

>>26820048

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>>26820048

>>26820059
It's already an even number.

>>26820065
Send a skeleton to step over the tripwire without tripping it.

>>26820065

Use telekinesis to set it off from afar.

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>>26820076

>>26820101
...make the cow skeleton crawl out of the cow while it's still alive

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>>26820108

>>26820134

There goes any hope at Lawful Good alignment.

>>26820134

Continue along, letting the skeletons ride the cow.

>>26820134
Ride it

>>26820140
Oh, no. THAT's what did it. The cattle mutilation.

Let's just completely ignore the fact that the first even post or 3rd odd post makes it impossible to be anything other than chaotic.

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>>26820146

>>26820134
>The skeletons look impressed.

That did it. Sprayed water out of my nose. Just a second, I need to find a towel now.

>>26820164
Send a skeleton into the room to the other side.

>>26820164
Push a skeleton in

>>26820164

Send a loyal skellington

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>>26820189

Sorry about slow replies, my internet is dicking with me so I have to keep reloading the thread.

>>26820208
Send another skeleton in the room, but this time go through the gaps the walls left.

RIP

>>26820220

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>>26820220
Whoops

>>26820265
Tell him to jump up once

>>26820265
Send another skeleton through the middle

>>26820265

Waltz right to the other end of the corridor

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>>26820280

>>26820280
Leave all our horny plant girls to the mayor in our will. He probably doesn't deserve them, but fuck, no one else does either.

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>>26820280

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>>26820280

>>26820318
look around

>>26820318
Oh. So the Jest is even more batshit that we thought.

Cowdroppers? Pillowcrushers? What's next? A moat of hot fudge with marshmallow alligators in it?

>>26820318

Find a nice part of the fold to put your penis in, hoping to inseminate your surroundings in a vain attempt to start an instant squishy golem army.

>>26820318

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>>26820324

This is what happens when you stay up until 6am writing fapfics for /tg/

>>26820350
Can we reanimate the crushed skeleton? Otherwise, toss something on our person into the gap and see if we can somehow get all the skeletons in the middle.

>>26820350

Yell loud enough for your skeletons to hear you say, 'START HAVING A SKELETON ORGY!'

>>26820350
Telekinesis to push down on the spot where the unlucky other skeleton stood when the walls reopened (closed?) so that we can get them to open back up and call the rest of the skeletons through

>>26820350

Shit in your hand and throw it on the trap trigger, while it resets walk across to the other side of the room without a problem

>>26820350
Are ther any doors / other openings in this room? If so, go through them

>>26820350

Snort the crushed remains of your skeleton minion in an attempt to gain his skeleton powers.

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>>26820366

>>26820350
try to calm the skeletons down a bit

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>>26820436

>>26820424
Arm yourself with a large bone. Get on the cow skeleton to make yourself seem bigger. Violently masturbate with one hand, while making eye contact with the dog. This will assert our dominance.

>>26820424
Give it the d, no, the cow. Give it the cow skeleton.

And then animate its skeleton right out of its body while it's distracted.

>>26820463
do
>>26820467

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>>26820483

Rolled 9

>>26820507
Are we about to spawn a race of furries? Gross...

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>>26820529

>>26820529
no we are going to die

Rolled 2

>>26820507
Oh Boy.

>>26820554
SKELETONS! HEED MY CALL IN NEED AND SLAY THIS FOUL BEAST!

>>26820554
Command our loyal gentkeletons to attack the beast using the two crushed skeletons remains. Preferably sharpened and or heavy.

>>26820554
Order skeletons to stab her in the dog-cunt

With their swords and weapons, of course.

And then we can finish it.

>>26820554
THE COW MUST NOW FULFIL ITS DUTY.

Animate the cow skeleton to force-feed itself to the dog.

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>>26820582
It can only end poorly...

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>>26820582

>>26820638
Mutt skeleton

>>26820638
Raise the skeledog.
Send some skeletons to the hole.

>>26820638
Release the trapped whatever it is. Or rather, make a skeleton do it.

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>>26820654

>>26820684
Order her to eat her puppies

>>26820684
Send the skeledog and her pups home if possible. She'd make a great guard dog. If not, then just stick around and keep her in case we need more bone muscle.

Onward through the dungeon!

>>26820708
This.

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>>26820708

>>26820792
Have you considered trying minor consensus Mr Bones?

>>26820792
x pedestal
x objects

>>26820792
Shit. . .have we been disembowled?
Have the skeletons bring us whatever's on those pedestals, and others to start feeling around.

>>26820800

I find this way is fairer and give everyone a chance to make a decision, whatever it may be. The number of players changes throughout a thread, so I worry minor consensus would be a little subjective.

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>>26820816

>>26820862
Are those... Are those our testicles?

>>26820901
>Stomach pain
nope. I was thinking gallbladder and something else, but it doesn't seem to fit.

>>26820862
Erm, for lack of better idea's, have a skeleton jam the clock with it's fingers.

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>>26820908
>>26820908

bump

>>26820952
I'm guessing we have been poisoned somehow and these globes are the antidote. We take a risk and eat one of the globes, after smelling them first.

>>26820952
Panic mode.
Get half our skeletons to grabt a pedestal and start ramming that shit.
Use the rest to start hacking at the wall around and gronud under it.
Use telekensis to try to rip it down.

>>26820952

Smash down the walls using a pedestal and scout for a way out.

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>>26821007
This

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>>26821045

>>26821071
Is that our asshole? On the pedestal? We try to force it back in with our hands.

>>26821071
>we got ripped open a new one
>literally

We need to stop fucking around and solve this shit
>"Figure out the game that kills you dead"
>"To get a baked reward instead"
>23 pedestals (24 hours?)
>Each revolution tears out a piece of us

Let's do an experiment. Get some puppies. Put a live one on a pedesat. A dead one on another. And a random skull on a third. And keep hacking away at the walls and door.

>>26821129
This.
And bust open the clock with a pedestal.

I need an even postcount fellas, just reroll if it doesnt happen. In the mean time I'm taking: >>26821129

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>>26821167

>>26821212
Stand on the fourth pedestal, and wait for the next chime

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>>26821244

Are we playing Saw, for a reward of cake?

.... Is the Jester some kind of deranged magic fusion of Jigsaw and GLaDOS?

>>26821287

Far as I can tell, we are losing an organ every time the timer goes down. Do we just... say that or something?

>>26821283
SHOUT

WE ARE LOSING ORGANS ALPHABETICALLY

ADRENAL GLANDS, ANUS, APPENDIX? BLADDER ETC

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>>26821318

>>26821357
Eat the cupcake
Fuck it, even if it's a trap, we're gona die of internal bleeding in a few hours anyway

>>26821357

This >>26821385

fuck it

>>26821357
Feed it to a skelebro

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>>26821425

This lag is driving me fucking insane.

It looks like not many are playing too. Mind if I get a headcount? See if it's worth carrying on?

>>26821477
here, this is a good thread

>>26821477

lurking not playing. This is great!

>>26821477
Im kind of in and out. Maybe you should try at peak time?

>>26821493
>>26821502
>>26821507

I might drop out for good. If that happens, follow @tgtextadventure if you want to know when the game picks up again.

Also suggestion time motherfuckers

>>26821477
Chiming in sometimes.

>>26821577
Walk through the door, look around the room

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>>26821606
>>26821606

>>26821691
examine the book closely
don't pick it up yet

>>26821691
It's obviously explosive runes.

Have a skeleton pick it up and inspect/open it.

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>>26821763

gonna take the first suggestion now to speed things up a little.

>>26821809
we follow the hair, to see where it goes

>>26821502
Dude, start playing, we need more people

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>>26821880

>>26821900
Have a skeleton carefully hold the hair in place with one hand while moving the book with the other. Stand well back.

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>>26821934

>>26821976
Look in the book, maybe there's something in there that can help you. Failing that, run like fuck for the exit.

>>26821976
That ain't what I said, mack.

>>26821934
>Have a skeleton carefully hold the hair in place with one hand while moving the book with the other.

What the skeleton is doing.

>Stand well back.

What we should have been doing.

>>26821976
Don't we have healing magic?

Fucking heal ourselves. A lot. Like we should have been doing since things started chopping our organs out?

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>>26822049

The dart whistled straight, you didn't take any precaution against the projectile. Standing further back didn't help much.

>>26822029

>>26822078

Very basic flesh knitting, but no actual healing magic.

Mr Bones is a Necromancer. You lose positive energy control, you only have the basic power to manipulate flesh as needed in constructs. Enough to close a wound, but not much more.

>>26822100
Well, let's skip all the little details and solve the most major problem, then.

Become Immortal.

>>26822100
... A spell for any occasion, but also potentially one which can draw enough power to, say, kill us?

... What about designing a spell which can produce more magical energy than it consumes, has varying output as we require (so it won't go supercritical and explode) and can also be bound into an artifact or construct of some sort? Like a magical generator we can power other spells off of? I mean, is that even a thing which makes sense under the laws of magical physics in this world?

>>26822138
Note the "Don't make a spell you can't handle" warning. *Do not do this*.

>>26822100
Also, uh, shouldn't we get ourselves an antidote for whatever we got dosed with *before* we go play with the book?

>>26822138

woah, WOAH. What if its a book of djinn or something? Something that's utterly malicious, but has to grant wishes?

>>26822100
I've got one question here.
It says there are two uses remaining.
Do we create a spell and learn it or does the book cast the spell?
Speak: Can we create 2 different spells and recast them after learnint, or can we just cast two spells with that book?

>>26822255
It reads as if it's 2 uses of "create a spell". But good point.

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>>26822158
The only short term suggestion

>>26822255
Create two permanent spells, which can then be learnt and used without the book as normal.

>>26822294
Seek the taverns/slums and such for useful allied against the alliance. And while we are at it listen arround for some other way of entering that city unnoticed

>>26822294
Let's see how the puppies are doing. Make sure Elyria gets them...whatever it is puppies eat regularly, and that they're kept healthy.

Then it's back to adventuring.

>>26822294
Dig up information on the jester.

can someone fill me in on the 'Alliance'? I couldnt be fucked to read the last thread

>>26822407
Something like an empire of the eternal smiles. Heavily against necromancers. I'll try to find the 2-3 snippets involving them.

>>26822407
Completely retarded bureaucracy with a side order of Ministry of Happiness

>>26822407
>>26822425 here
1. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/26809233/images/1377402272131.png
2. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/26809233/images/1377402578592.png
3. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/26809233/images/1377402909271.png

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>>26822375

>>26822451
No time to deal with it now.

Back to questing. Make that fucking clown pay.

>>26822451
Ask the mayor how he feels about them. If hes on our side, beat the bureaucratic empire with thoir own weapons. Get us in with correctly filled forms to send us as diplomats.

>>26822451
Let's try making a big ass skeleton golem again.
Surely, we won't fail twice.

>>26822443
Thanks bro

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>>26822482

>>26822555
Set up some skelly guards in the town square and wait for our centaur buddies to arrive, then ask them what the hell they are doing.

>>26822555
Are they trying to visit the brothel?

Godammnit.

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>>26822616
>>26822616

>>26822694
Called it.

>>26822697
"Palla, um, you have not in fact been coming *to* the brothel, you've just been charging through the square. Look, the brothel is over there. And maybe arrive a little slower next time? You've kind of been injuring people in your hurry to arrive, humans are a lot squishier than centaurs."

>>26822697
Uh, em. Can we divide them into groups and space out their visits? And give them a discount maybe?

>>26822697
>females
Oh Jesus. Whoever suggested they visit our brothel is an idiot.

>>26822733
This. Also, go to the local bar and say you need a lot of men to fuck centaurs. Diplomance that shit.

>>26822738
I retract my statement, these two combined are much better
>>26822733
>>26822745

>>26822745
As the person who posted >>26822733, I support this extension of my suggestion.

>>26822745

>Also, go to the local bar and say you need a lot of men to fuck centaurs. Diplomance that shit.

All of my sides! It's more like "Hey, centaur pussy out there needs poundin. Get to it!

>>26822697
"Slow the fuck down! You realize this is a human settlement correct? At least try to give warning before you run down the townsfolk."

>>26822745
>>26822753
>>26822763
This level of cooperation has been fantastic.

Well done, /tg/.

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>>26822733
>>26822745

>>26822847
Nope. We got clown fucks to murder.

>>26822847
"Well golly, miss. Would you like to see my private garden? The flower girls are blooming very nicely this time of year."

Back to evens by the way since we got more players, or the third odd ending postcount.

>>26822875
Same person. Perhaps be a bit more tactful. Tell her that I'm flattered by the offer, but more pressing matters need dealing with. She's welcome to anyone in the brothel.

>>26822875
dont be such a spoilsport

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>>26822875
I swear if that fucker so much as HONKS even once we will beat himself to death with his own pelvis.

>>26822847
I still have too much revenge on the mind.

>>26822890
Oh thank fuck.

>>26822847
Yes. Yes, we would be most happy to assist her. (Although we can''t spend all thread in OP's magical realm again, we do also have jesters to murder.)

>>26822894
Kill bastard now. Fun times later.

>>26822899
You know, I'm as angry as the next guy, but it doesn't take very long to do the horizontal monster mash.

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>>26822893

>>26822926
How do you even get it on with a centaur? Blowjobs are fine but aren't the other parts a little high up? Also only one position is pretty boring.

Nah, I'd rather continue questing until we find something that is more...humanoid.
Or we could haterape the Jester.

Rolled 3

>>26822971
Give in.

No use in arguing with a centaur in heat

Rolled 14

>>26822971
Skeletons get her the hell away from me!

Rolled 10

>>26822971
For fuck's sake, *fuck her*. Hard. Possibly with your fist (since centaur pussy is going to be pretty big).

>>26822971
Ok, I was all for banging the centaur, but I'm not one for being taken against my will.

Can we hold her with shadows until we drag a few guys in here?

>>26822971

>A female centaur in heat.
>Thinking logically and unselfishly.
Pick one only.

Rolled 11

>>26822988
aaaaagh no dammit people

just take the sex.

>>26822985
Damn it all.

>>26822972
The jester's a girl

>>26822971

Hold her down with either skeletons or magic. Then get a guy or 2 to help her...

>>26823029
You need to put a 1 in front of the d20 part.

>>26823017
Too angry to care. It could be a goddamn sex goddess, I'm still going for blood.

Rolled 2

>>26823017
We get one more usable orifice, not that big of a difference.

Rolled 12

>>26823029
>>26823040

Thank you, new to this.

>>26823041
.... Yeah, but if she's a girl, the haterape becomes much more sexy and prolonged. And maybe we use our mind control spells to keep her as our permanent sex slave, to hatefuck her over and over.

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>>26822988

>>26823066
Just get over with it.

>>26823066

You should probably roll another D20 depending on what you are doing.

Rolled 9

>>26823066
This is obviously not working. New strategy: fuck her into submission. Fuck her until she can't stand (with the help of your employees and plant girls and so on).

>>26822971
>Feign resistance

Rolled 1

>>26823066
Just do it.

>>26823091
I know I don't need to but I'm rolling for sex anyway. This seems kind of silly.

Rolled 3

>>26823066

Magically chain her (living shadow?), then fuck her.

Rolled 5

>>26823066
We've got shadow magic, right? Can we give her some nice thick horsecocks and/or tentacles to pleasure her with?

>>26819948
Put quest in your fucking subject line dear fucking gosh.

>>26823066
Yell out to any available guys left in the brothel.

"Whoever wants the hot, horny female leader, she's outside, first come (heh), first served!"

>>26823066
I enter OPs magical realm

Again

Rolled 2

>>26823112
>1
... this is going to end badly.

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>>26823112
I am so sorry.

Rolled 15

>>26823123
Let's have a roll for that.

>>26823122
((Also, Mr Bones, you should probably do this. It's totally a quest. An awesome, wonderful, incredibly hot quest, but a quest nonetheless.))

OP is taking so long because he's writing us back into his magical realm. Guarantee it.

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>>26823112

>>26823235
I fucking told you.

Should've just gone for blood.

QUEST ON BREAK.

I NEED FOOD.

Will be back in maybe an hour,

Until then feel free to catch up with: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/26809233/

And twitter for when I restart: @tgtextadventure

>>26823260
That would not have happened without a critfail. You guys and your dice.

>>26823234
We never left

I will add quest too next time.

Sorry I've never done a successful multi-part, it has always been one-shots with maybe a failure of a second thread.

>>26823235
>Every housewife in town is suddenly wondering why their husband has broken ribs

>>26823278
/tg/ is slow enough that this thread will last an hour even without any bumps.

And I don't know what the hell is up with our dice. This is approaching Papa-N levels of HUEHUEHUE

>>26823235
This is fine. We have healing magic. If not our own, then our dryad friend has some, she already regrew our kidneys.

Totally worth it.


Now, let's go find that Jester fucker, mind-control him, and make him into our permanent slave. That seems like good payback.

>>26823291
I think 7-12 threads is the ideal for quirky mini-adventures like this one. Long enough that there's a sense of progress, but short enough that neither QM or audience gets burned out.

Just roll with it until you don't feel like writing any more. Also, somebody archived this thread as well, and the first got up to +10 on the archives so it can't be all bad.

bump

not really necessary but still

New thread here: >>26824098

>>26822745
Mfw I suggested it as a joke, not realizing they were mostly women