>giant talking wolves

dude what

>>26566163

>Wolf charges me immediately
>Completely misses due to high WIS (AC) and all other types of defense like dodge, natural armor, deflection.
>Right in front of me.
>Use Flurry of Blows
>Hit all 4 times and one is a crit threat which was then confirmed.
>Do a total of 37 damage.
>(Me): "Oh yeah, this thing is so gonna die."
>DM gives a slickity shit smile.
>Tells me it hasn't even lost 15% of total health
>ohmyfuckwat.jpg
>Wolf's turn
>Full attack
>I got hit once and it took a chunk of my health out.
>I use FoB once more but with Elemental Fist (NOTE: My DM rules that EF can be used once per round instead of once per round for only 1 hit so please don't get in a shit fest about this part).
>Hit most of them, my EF hit connected.
>The wolf takes 1.5x extra fire damage.
>End up dong in the 70s range of damage at level 6 as a Monk.
>Finally, after a bloody battle and I get hit once more by a 6d6 cone attack, I punch the wolf one last time in the other eye and it disappears completely.
>DM: "You wake up immediately and there is nothing around you but the swamp. You look to where the house where Bram was in and there is only a tree. You look down as you can feel a slight bit of pain. You remember that the wolf bit you in that exact spot, but instead of a wound, there is the symbol of Erastil. You are now one of Erastil's personal servant. When you look in a mirror, you see your nose has elongated, your teeth are more sharp, you can smell flesh from a mile away, and you feel empowered by the night. You permanently gain +2 WIS -2 CHA, Scent, and low-light vision. You can also become more primal as a standard action which gives you a +2 STR, +2 CON, a bite attack, DR 10/silver, unarmed damage die step raise, and a +2 Natural armor increase.

Thank you based DM

bump

bumpity

>>26566163
>>26566311
cool story op, I dig it

>>26566311
>>26566163
Interesting way to make a native american inspired werewolf monk.

Good work OP

>>26566438
>>26566487

No stories to share?

SHARE SOME STORIES!

>>26566555
Once, I bullrushed a mindflayer into a huge pit. He was supposed to be the boss. I got bonus XP.

>>26566677

>Putting the boss near a pit of which he could possibly fall to his death


Slap your DM for me next time.

>>26566795
He doesn't DM anymore.

>>26566832

Well, I can see why.

>>26566795
I dunno, I'd kinda like it if I ever ran across a monster next to a pit or other environmental hazard. Just to have a decent reason to actually bullrush the opponent.

Old-school D&D (Castles and Crusades) in a town nearby Greyhawk, about 3rd level party:

>Playing a Cleric of Tritherion, a rather militant CG god of freedom and individuality
>Delved into some Dwarvern dungeons, found some silver bars in a room that was obviously a trap
>We thought we had evaded all the traps, but the silver bars had a slow but nonstop poison inside the enameled surface of the bars
>Near TPK as we slowly die off on our way back to town to get the poison cure
>One PC makes it, and gathers our bodies to take us back to Greyhawk for raising us
>She just scrapes enough cash together from our corpses and selling our equipment to raise both PC's
>DM rules that she took our corpses to the temple of St. Cuthbert
>In whatever journey I have to reach my spirit's resting place, St. Cuthbert shows up with a table, two chairs, and two mugs
>Looks me over and offers to raise me and the other PC, but only if I work for him from now on
>Even offers to do one raise for the price of two
>I always thought St. Cuthbert was a total square since his methods really involve clubbing things that don't agree with him
>He says he won't raise either of us unless I agree
>It's a catch-22 since saying "no" means I let my other PC friend stay dead, which would be turning my back on good, but saying "yes" means I turn my back on Tritherion
>I begrudingly agree, and St. Cuthbert and I drink barley wine and discuss his rules until I've had my fill
>As soon as I'm done I wake up in the temple of St. Cuthbert on a bed and my PC friend wakes up in the bed next to me
>I look down, and there's a greatclub in my hand

It wasn't cool in the same way as OP - it was just a great character development event. I'm really liking the change, since I can view the tenents of the faith from a skeptical perspective in that the clergy of the church tend to be much more strict than St. Cuthbert himself, whereas I've met the guy and I know he's got only one rule: if it's doing wrong, that's a clubbin'.

As a DM, I try to do nice things for my players whenever I can.

>Giant robots military game
>Player wants a gigantic fuck-everything laser, gives me clips from ZOIDS to watch for reference
>Give it to him, no questions asked, except it takes a few turns to charge
>Party gets into a fight in a redwood forest, using massive trees for cover
>Player finally gets his laser charged and fires
>Literally drag my hand across the table, carving a path of annihilation through every tree and enemy in the line of fire
>Player beams the entire time, not caring that the prototype melts to slag
>Give him upgraded, less broken version for next time

>Next session, eco-terrorists hold a hospital hostage to "avenge the trees"
>Two players and a vital NPC are inside
>Players both terrified and amused that their reckless collateral damage has finally come back to bite them

It was a good game. I also had one player use his sniper rifle to take down a nuclear bomber from ten miles off (with the marker on the other side of my apartment) by hooking his systems up to a radio network and getting assistance rolls from a hacker player and a ton of NPCs.

>>26566795
not as bad as when a dm I had in a game before I joined a big boss of his was fought in a courtyard with a fountain. One guy apparently asks if there's atleast 1 inch of water in the fountain, the dm, probably not thinking at that moment, said yeah. So the entire party proceeded to force the boss into the fountain and drowned him.

>>26567873

I just pictured my dm just wiping the map off with his hand

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>>26568165
That's basically what happened.

To be fair, this was the same campaign where I had to use a pair of calipers for splash damage radius effects. A few times, they weren't big enough.

>>26566232
>Spirit quest

It's symbolic

>>26568732

Even if it wasn't, there is more crazy shit in a normal Pathfinder game than talking animals.

Cool story, OP. I enjoyed it.

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>Geist: The Sin-Eaters
>Playing a guy whose combination of unshakeable optimism and boundless stupidity had convinced him he was the luckiest man alive.
>Naturally he was a Forgotten, meaning he died in and extremely improbable way
>After taking several considerable risks in character that paid off nicely, he gets a mysterious note asking him to come alone to an old casino.
>Once there, he finds himself alone with a tall man in a grey suit, who pulls out an ornate revolver and challenges him to a game of Russian roulette.
>My guy naturally obliges, confident in his certain victory
>GM brings out a small deck of six cards. We took turns shuffling the deck, fanning out the cards, and letting the other pull a card.
>Each pull represented spinning the chamber of the revolver, putting the gun to our head, and pulling the trigger, with a King representing a chamber with a bullet, and the rest
>We began our game.

Cont.

>>26569067
>After passing the gun back and forth numerous times, the man in the grey suit puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger one last time, blowing a hole clear through his skull
>He just laughs, completely unfazed by the huge fucking hole in his head and says that this settles it, he is officially recognizing my character the luckiest man alive.
>Leaves the gun on the table, telling my guy to keep it, along with the unfired bullet (turns out there were two in the cylinder, meaning I had a 1-in-3 chance of losing)
>Goes outside to an old and ornate car, and the GM tells me that upon seeing the car I realize that the man I had just won a game of Russian roulette with the Gray Horseman, patron of the Forgotten.
>For doing so my character had received his blessing, granting him genuinely supernatural good luck: once per game I could declare any roll to have the 9-again property (or 8-again if it already had 9-again), or negate an automatic failure
>GM also informed me that had I lost the game the bullet would have not only instantly killed me but destroyed my soul and my geist as well, so there would be absolutely no way to survive or come back...
>And that the remaining bullet had the same property.

tl;dr: Won an ultra-high-stakes game of Russian roulette with a god of the underworld, and received his blessing along with a single fuck-you-you-aren't-coming-back-from-this-one instant kill against an enemy of my choice.

>character suffers from serious PTSD due to rape as a backstory
>She gets in good favor with the ruling family of the country for serving valiantly in their army
>Every party member gets some sort of reward just for them
>Her reward was the facilitators of her assault, bound in chains, and the freedom to do with them as she wished
>She murders them in cold blood and has a brief breakdown but eventually recovers

I was actually pretty surprised when it happened. Its not everyday that you meet a DM who not only cares about characters' backstories, but uses them in some fashion.

>>26566163
This sounds extremely white. Like you are coming across as 120% caucasian here.

>>26566163
>get drugged by a creepy swamp man
>probably raped

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>That feel when you will never know what it feels like to have moments like these.

I'd just come to accept that my characters would forever be disposable or simply just get screwed over if I ever tried doing anything. Part of me wonders if these stories are even legit, I can't imagine a gm doing these things.

>>26569342

That's so cool. I just like the part about he blows a hole in his head and laughs and then walks away.

>>26569371
No, it was a white wolf. I like the Half-Orc in our party even though he wants me dead if I ever become useless.

>>26569382
Rape me all he wants to then, that's some magical ability enhancing cock juice.

Does enabling wacky character concepts count? Because if so...

>Cactus-man swordfighter
>Lizardman cop/batman paladin
>Werebear wizard (with +fishing bonus in bearmode)
>Orc-adopted cockney elf berserker
>Recovering zombie barkeep with a cast-iron stove in his stomach

I like to let my players have fun.

>>26569909

I loled so hard, my earplugs got jammed into my ear canal.

>>26569690

Well, the group I roll with is tight as fuck. We've been playing for almost a year straight. 3 of us trade out to DM if one doesn't want to/have something prepared/I just wanna play without having to manage shit.

One day, it will happen for you anon.

>>26566163
>Native American indian

that one motherfucker keeps bringing naan bread and curry to the powwow

>>26570047

wat

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>>26570070
>Native American
>Indian

4e D&D games

Let's see, one of my regular DMs caused my shenanigans to create a recurring villain which was cool. I've mentioned it before, but I threw the Devil Lord Baal out of the timestream and he came back a a Terminator-esque Cyborg Devil which a literal handgun, shoulder-mounted rockets, and time-manipulation magic similar to my character's. Our first fight against him, he nearly killed us, we only survived due to creativity, ingenious planning, and a little luck.(Read: We spammed push/slide attacks and shoved him off a nearby cliff.) Though after he fell, felt a surge of time magic, implying he simply slipped back into the timestream for now.

Same group, other regular DM. So much cool shit.
I have an arch enemy that we might be fighting in our current mission. In our first encounter, he affronted me in a way I could never forgive, and vowed to devote the rest of my life to ending his.(Read:He telepathically insulted me, and I rage and charged in the direction I heard him from, splitting off from the rest of the party. Then he smashed the windows to the space station we were on and my eyes exploded. His race could survive fine in space, so he had nothing to fear. I managed to throw my spare fullblade at him and slice his arm up pretty good though. My character was pretty much blind anyways so the eyes exploding didn't actually penalize me in any way, and he gave me a bonus to Intimidate checks since I basically have empty eye sockets now, and some spiffy new synthetic lungs so I too can survive in space. Let's see that fucker send us into space again.) I already have exactly what I'm going to do to him when I stomp him planned out, something our DM probably won't see coming given my usual tactic when I beat people is to straight up kill them them right then and there.

>>26570008

I dunno, the last two times something "awesome" was supposed to happen specially designed for my character, the former time some random npc stole all the credit for my accomplishments leaving my character to be an ever forgotten hobo, and the other I wound up beefing every single roll I made and died failing miserably at the one thing the character was built for.

After all the times I've played characters that were just outshone to the point where they're just redundant or repeatedly have bad things happen to them, I honestly can't believe things like OP could ever, ever happen.

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>>26567873
>Literally drag my hand across the table, carving a path of annihilation through every tree and enemy in the line of fire

Oh my god that's so fucking cool I wi-


>Next session, eco-terrorists hold a hospital hostage to "avenge the trees"

... You are an awesome DM, Anon.

>ADnD
>play as (my first character) a cleric of Zuokin
>Pious as fuck
>Character survives 2 and a half campaigns with one other of my friends characters(my longest lived character thus far)
>Somebody puts a price on her head
>Some other PC kills her in her sleep and claims the gold
>DM tells me not to make another character yet
>end of the campaign, the assassin lives
>My cleric is visited by Hoar who offers the chance at revenge if the sacrifice is made in his name
>Cleric accepts the shit outta that deal (notoriously hotheaded character)
>Hoar resurrects my character
>New campaign based around these two
>The hunt is on
>Finds the assassin after a couple weeks of searching
>cool PC fight involving several broken weapons
>assassin flees
>Brief chase scene
>Assasin escapes
>Assassin Threatens/bribes/befriends a group of powerful wizards into opening a door to another plane
>Cleric furiously searches for an alternate route to chase
>Hoar agrees to assist but only if Cleric slays a Demigod son of Anhur
at this point the assassin and one other player who sided with him and followed through the portal play a seperate campaign that the rest of us know nothing about
>pretty epic battle, Demigod slain, lets go get this assassin bitch
>transported to another material plane
>turns out the other campaign was one involving the Assassin Sweet-talking/backstabbing/master-planning his way to the top of a kingdom
>Shit
>New campaign
>must incite rebellion
>My campaign is spent gathering resources and allies
>His is spent hunting down aforementioned resources and allies
>Epic final clash
>Shitton of anarchy, The royal guard and a large tribe of gnolls I recruited begin to battle outside castle gates
>Cleric breaks down a door and is inside castle
>Battle some guards, spring some traps
>Bloodied as fuck
>make it to the throne room
>Assassin surprised as fuck
>Chase scene through secret passages n such then through the epic battle then through some of the anarchy
>cont

>>26567873
What system were you using, out of curiosity? I've been trying to check out various mecha games recently.

>Pretty badass guards
>a few lucky rolls
>guards dead
>Assassin is cornered
>final confrontation time
>Trade blows and dialogue for a good bit
>Cleric scores a critical and lands a brutal uppercut with a magic mace
>Assassin killed
>Cleric shouts "HOOOOOOAAAAAR"
I actually yelled that shit and pissed off my neighbors, anyways
>Cleric undergoes ascendancy
>Literally becomes the Archangel of Vengeance

To sum it up, Clerics to do list:
Come back from the dead: check
Interplanar manhunt: check
Topple the government of an entire kingdom:
Check
Kill that bitch:Check

The events I have described here have been summarized a good bit as this plot took place over the course of a year and a half of frequent sessions. I honestly could not love our DM more making this happen and even the player behind the Assassin wasn't even slightly butthurt cause the whole thing was just so damn fun

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We have a homebrew in our system where once a session we can petition our god with a prayer- we pick a number between 1 an 100, roll a d100, and if the dice come up with our number our prayer gets answered.

One of my characters (a warlord multiclassed into rogue) had an ongoing skit where he would call upon any appropriate god in times of turmoil, regardless of their alignment. Never with a prayer, but just a general Name Drop. Think Benny from The Mummy in the scene where he panics and tries every different religious symbol and psalm he has to hand, but huge and covered in scale armour. I don't think I had ever made a prayer roll until the events described here.

One session the party was pretty fucked. We were in a small town being assaulted by an organised orcish militia. My character was trying to rally the troops to fight, but was panicking himself. Things looked dire. He stepped into a small courtyard whilst the soldiers were preparing for combat and started praying to every god he could name for a victory. More than one at once during some parts, just to save time. The good, the evil, the lawful, even a couple of setting specific homebrew gods of artifice and chaos & random chance were all on his list.

The DM chuckled and told me to pick a number on the prayer scale. I picked 72. No reason, I just thought it was a good number. I figured I might have got the attention of one of the gods. Cool beans right?

There was an avalanche of Dice behind the screen.

The DM pulled a face like he'd lost his wallet, looked over some notes, and then began smirking like a man possessed. Apparently I had been allowed to roll for almost every god I mentioned, since I had venerated them all in my own subtle way. I had missed every roll. I was less than surprised to hear that, and got on with the encounter at hand. His smirk unsettled me though. The entirety of the fight he kept looking back at his notes and sniggering.

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>>26571005
We barely scraped through, as you might expect. Lost a good slew of men and nearly one PC to the oily green tide.

Now, I had thought that to be the end of things, but apparently the god of Chaos & Random chance likes to stir things up in the realm of gods. That's kind of her thing. Apparently, whilst my character's prayer was answered by none of the gods at the time, she had taken an interest in him and was determined to make sure they all got my message. Simultaneously.

So my humble warlord ended up as quite the focus of the setting's pantheon. Heavenly messengers, hellish apparitions and powerful outsiders all swarmed to his location at once, convinced I was a devout worshipper of their faith. Once he had convinced the messengers, apparitions and outsiders that he wasn't responsible for the mass celestial cold-call they had received, a large stalemate was reached and the irritated mob of demi-gods and hellspawn retreated to their corners, somewhat vexed.

Oh, and the Goddess of Chaos and Random Chance started showing up everywhere to mess with the warlord.She;
>Changed his gender for a day when he asked why she chose to approach him in the form of a mortal woman.
"Try it out, you might like it."
>Altered his alignment for the purposes of Detect spells to Chaotic Evil during a meeting with the Palapope of a lawful good faith.
"Liven those killjoys up for me will you? There's a dear."
>Increased his size to Huge to show contrition for-
"making you feel small in the grand scheme of things"
>Turned the population of an entire village into sentient statues because the Warlord called them 'Stonehearted' for allowing a beggar to starve to death.
"What? I just gave them bodies to match."

Oh, and let's not forget the time she flooded half of his hometown because he had mentioned something about a sea breeze being therapeutic the same week he caught an illness sweeping through the capital.
Fuck that whole session.

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>>26571027
Anyway, slowly but surely, he learned to be more careful with his wording and avoid most of her bullshit, whilst keeping her entertained enough to stop her outbursts. It was like looking after a child, and he ended up fond of her, if not her wacky nonsense.

When the campaign ended prematurely the DM gave each character a postscript message about what happened to their character in the long run. One guy got to become a king, another became a folk hero ala Robin Hood. The warlord died and joined the Goddess as her representative and protector. He became known as the Apathetic Warden or colloquially the Weary Warrior. He was worshipped by those hoping to keep random chance out of their affairs. He did his best. Oh god, he did his best.

Needless to say, I never invoked the prayer rule again.

>>26570642
100% homebrew. I've been refining it repeatedly, especially after having to deal with rules-lawyering MTG addicts. It's helpful, but frustrating.

>>26566795
I had a mini boss worm that walks near a gigantic brazier in the middles of the room. He begun the battle with a sneak attack mid power fireball and the rest was acid. The barbarian bullrushed him into the brazier and it turned out the fireball was from a necklace of fireballs.

>>26569984
>loled

You could have just said laughed you nincompoop.

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Time travel campaign:
>In the zombie apocalypse future
>Party lineup: Cleric, Monk, Druid, Fighter, and NPC Paladin
>Tom the Paladin is a blacksmith by trade with an enchanted mechanical arm capable of delivering electrical touch attacks.
>Tom's best friend is turned into a Wight and the party is recruited to help find and recover him.
>Go out into the woods and locate Tom and his new zombie pals.
>Druid summons a monkey to offer as a delicious gift for the Wight.
>Wight becomes friendlier, starts to approach in a non-hostile manner.
>Tom approaches while reaching out to shake hands.
>Just as the wight is about to take his old friend's head, with a flash of his blade, Tom instantly decapitates his best friend
>Table of cheers

>>26571306

copypasta

>>26566555
Wow this thread has grown.

Anyway sadly my only 2 stories to share are my friend being munchkin and getting angry at a DH game or my other friend who played Judge Dredd in 2 different DH games and was so awesome I kept letting him play it in EVERY DH game.

>>26571343
You're not fucking serious are you?

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What about cool things players have done for their DM's?

One of my players bought me this.

>>26571379

I'm having a deja vu about your post. That, or the picture.

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>>26571400
I'm a sailor, so the chart and nautical compass rose are pretty nifty.

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>>26571418

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game of Mekton Zeta long ago.
Over the course of the entire adventure i was saving us cash to buy powered armor. I don't remember why i wanted it, but my character was sort of a sub-par thief, whose skill points were so spread out over so many things he was sort of a jack of all trades-master of none, while the rest of the party was anime marysues.
After several cases of grand theft mecha, etc i was able to buy the powered armor.
Fast forward to our final boss battle with this ridiculously OP mecha that shot us all to pieces. If i remember, i was the first to get my weapons knocked out, and he began gunning down my comrades.
My mecha was totally unresponsive and i had no offensive capabilities at that point. So i donned my powered armor and exited my mecha, and made my way over to the boss while he was busy shooting the others, he did not notice this tiny bastard landing on his hull. (this is in space btw). So i search the hull until i find an airlock. I'm able to open it with some creative lockpicking tech, and got inside.
I then quickly reached the cockpit and shot the pilot.

>>26571094
Any chance you'll post it some time in a homebrew thread? I don't mind if it's rough around the edges or under continual development.

>Rolled up a Drunken Master in what was supposed to be a medieval fantasy campaign
>The DM has us attacking an evil church; we've got a Paladin in the party, so it was pretty much a given
>the church is actually a space ship
>entire party is launched into space
>our planet is "chronolocked" behind us by space pirates that sell planets
>the fuck is going on.png
>land on some kind of Galactic Center of the Universe multicultural multiracial high tech planet
>we don't know what to do, so we hit up the space tavern
>bar fight, naturally
>entire party is useless because aliens have crazy reverse magnetic fields; metal weapons from the party/arrows/etc entirely useless; everyone in the future uses lasers and gas weapons
>ask the DM if the space bar serves space alcohol during the fight
>He tells me it does
>demand the most alcoholic space drink known in the universe
>DM warns me that it will likely kill me if I fail my check
>CallthecopsIdon'tgiveashit.png
>drink it
>pass the save
>Ridiculous +20 drunk master bonuses on everything due to space hooch
>barehandedly destroy all aggressors in the bar, force fields don't do shit against flesh
>save the party
>in a coma for a week after

Yes.

>>26570148
look at mr political-and-geographicaly correct here

>>26571826

I don't care about politics, but you'd have to be retarded to still describe them as "Indians".

That's like referring to a random American as Chinese because you thought you crossed far enough over the ocean and landed in China.

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>>26571051
>>26571027
>>26571005
sav'd
don't ask me why, I just thought it was a fun story
thanks anon

>>26571826
well i mean,
native american is fine
and indian is confusing and outdated but sure, whatever
but native american indian? that definitely implies a mix of both dot and feather, otherwise there's no need to say both.

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>>26566163
>Playing 4e
>Dragonborn Paladin of the Raven Queen, heavily bent on slaying undead, as he sees them as abberations and creatures who have escaped the grasp of his god.
>We go to an abandoned isle, plagued by two ghost armies constantly battling, living out the war that took their lives endlessly
>Find out that one side was a group of dragonborn paladins of the Raven Queen, and discover a holy mausoleum.
>In the middle of a large room find a torch in a pedestal lit by blue fire, DM says my character is drawn to pick it up.
>DM says I see illusory raven feathers falling through from the ceiling, and I'm the only one who sees them.
>Rogue of the party says this is bad news and stands in the way of the torch.
>Bullrush
>Grab the torch and instantly inflicted with burning pain.
>All of the flesh of my right arm sloughs off the bone, giving me a skeletal right arm.
>Dismayed, I try to drop the torch, but find I can't. It morphs into a Sunblade, with the lit end of the torch becoming the pommel, radiating the same blue light.
>Great RP happens over the course of several months of play where I come to accept my skeletal arm and the gift my goddess gave me, and I stop seeing all undead as blights, but instead tortured souls who need release into the arms of the Raven Queen.

>>26571717
>demand the most alcoholic space drink known in the universe
>DM warns me that it will likely kill me if I fail my check

Nice subtle little side reference there.

>>26567432
>If its doing wrong, that's a clubbin'
Best thing I've heard all day.

>>26571902

What if you needed to pee? Could you let go of the Sunblade, or did you have to hire some peasants to pull out and aim your tackle for you when you had to go?

>>26571902
And that is one of many reasons I love 4e :)

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>>26571923

>>26571951
Well, my left arm was still free, and besides, after the torch transformed into a Sunblade I could let go if it again. However I kept it, having realized this is what my god wanted of me.

>playing 3.5
>chasing wizard bbeg who is like twice our level through a dungeon
>get out the other side half dead, but I did find this neat magic orb that nobody knows what it does
>wizard is flying through the air ruining our shit because we're like level 5 martials
>I'm a rogue, so I roll UMD to activate the orb and see what it does
>I hear dice clatter behind the DM's laptop
>I summon a fucking solar archon in the wizard's face
>archon wrecks the enemy wizard
>I try to use the orb again and fail my UMD
>it plain shifts somewhere
>pretty cool fight where I would have been useless otherwise

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>>26570047

>>26571923

I don't follow.

>>26572053
Just check your Guide.

>>26572053
Are you the guy who wrote the story? If so, I can't believe that flew over your head.
See >>26572014

>>26572017

Did your hand go back to normal if you let go of the sunblade, or did you have to hold your junk with a skeleton hand?

Also could the skeleton hand still feel things?

>>26572128
My right arm permanently became skeletal, as a reminder from the Raven Queen to keep my temper in check. The arm still felt as if it still had flesh and nerves on it. Immediately after it happened, I assumed that the torch was cursed and I had the rogue try to sever it with the Battleaxe I had been using up until now. He struck true, and the DM said that I started taking HP damage as if he was striking my actual arm. Eventually we gave up trying to sever it, and in character I just accepted my fate.
Out of character I thought this was great. It was a really cool way to add some more depth to my character, and having a skeletal arm was pretty bad-ass, too.
By the way, did I mention he was named Gladius Mortus, the Sword of Death?
Pretty cool when you consider his new skeletal arm.

>>26571951
Two arms?

>>26569067
>>26569342
Holy fuck, that's awesome.

Stealing this so bad.

>>26572285

You ever try to unbutton jeans while holding a beer in one hand? Ain't easy. Especially if the only hand available to you is your off-hand. Then you gotta pull it out, and still aim, while keeping your pants up.

Unless you're some kind of animal that pisses with his pants around his ankles.

I am satisfied with the knowledge that he could let go of the sunblade and use his skeletonhand to aim his junk.

A small piece of backstory. There is a longstanding joke that my dice are powered by plot. They will refuse me any decent roll for an entire session for one, final moment of glory. They can crit fiend in a row, and I always roll in the open. So even my DM knows that I am not making this shit up.

>Playing half-orc barbarian with a deathwish and a guilt complex.
>Pit fight against what turned out to be an ogre with major levels in monk.
>Fight takes place in magical recreation of town half-orc burnt down.
>Because there is an audience and my character wnats to humilate the ogre, he plays up the entire thing as if it was a pro-wrestling match.
>Acting roll: 15
>Be literally thrown around like a ragdoll, unable to hit the monk with a single attack. Just because my highest roll was an eight.
>Give in, decide to rage. Rage having been homebrewed into a very nasty monster possession (not my idea).
>Try to get angry, rage refuses me. Make a 'wut' face before getting pimp slapped across the village into a building.
>End up having an hour long argument with myself while pummeling ogre, realize it was really set up for how my character would progress later, paragon or renegade style.
>Come to epic realization IC, DM's wife tosses me the special dice that light up on crits.
>Roll attack, of course now it crits. Like, crits hard. Doing eighty something damage from that one.
>DM describes how the ogre watches me do this, raising his arms just slightly...so he can dig into his important organs so he can finally die.
>Character needs a new face after realizing what a deathwish really is.
>Not sure where to go with him next session.

>>26572724
It's all in the fingers. I can put on or remove any item of clothing one-handed.
>tfw no opportunity to show off

>>26572724
Ain't that hard. It just takes practice. You gotta get the hang of it. Takes awhile. I'd make my players train in the skill.

>>26570047
oh christ I am in tears here so perfect

>>26571902
Sounds similar to a concept I did up but never got to play.

>Born to a northern tribe of humans who worship only 2 gods because of their local the Raven Goddess (as the aspect of winter, death and return to the earth) and Pelor (as the god of summer, life and rebirth Also fuck yeah humanity because these guys are racist fucks)
>Tribes totems are the Phoenix and the Raven following a now declared heretical sect of long exiled priests who split into 2 to worship their twin gods after "civilisation" came to the north with their elves and dwarfs and their whatnot false gods.
>Born during an especially bad blizzard the child was quickly taken ill and a priest of Pelor was sent for. Sadly their temple was snowed in but the twin temple of RG was not so an RG priest came down to help because bro's before storms.
>Did the best he could but child very sickly, priest prayed to RG and Pelor for advice on how to care for the child brought into the RG's most special snowstorm. RG claimed she has marked the child and the priest is to take him for training.
>Child is healed the next morning miraculously and proceeds to live a normal life till he is 15 and its time for him to get a job like all good kids.

>>26572843
>>26572845

>implying the burly Paladin didn't pick Dex as one of his dumps

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>>26573254
>Wants to be a hunter, but nope can't use a bow for shit. Tries to be a baker, burns all the bread. Tries to be a tanner, puts holes in the leather. About to wander off into the snow and die a failure as tradition dictates but the old priest from years ago rocks up and tells him he is to join the RG priesthood.
>Wellbetterthannothing.jpg
>Priesthood teaches him about the RG and her ways. About Pelor and the balance of life and death. However he is not to be a priest. He is to be a AN AVENGER.
>Taught how to use the holy weapon of the RG: The Scythe and longsword. And how to use the powers of shadow to subtly control the flow of time (by ducking in and out of the shadowfell mainly)
>Is told by the goddess once he reaches the age of 20 that while he is fairly good at the whole using the scythe thing he needs to go out into the world and get some experience. This mostly entails doing her will by seperating the souls of the departed trapped in their undead forms from their bodies and letting them move on.

Never to to play him though, ideas for progression were:

>Pelor, the fuckyeah humanity thing of his culture, phoenixes and ravens and the heretical sect of worship he is from be plot hooks for the DM to use with me.
>Prestige or w/e its called in 4e into Chosen of the RG.
>Start turning more skeletal despite the fact he eats (as well as he can) but retains his strenght. And start stating him more dodge/tanky on top of scythe swingy.
>Eventually be a skeleton with frost powers, some timey powers and dodge-tanky to help his scythe swingy ways.
>Character would like cats a lot and enjoy biscuits. Would also appreciate modern music (modern for the setting). Would later buy a white horse. Maybe a pet rat
>Eventually at Epic level he would join the RG as one of her special Chosen like those dudes from 3rd ed who become kinda demi-god like entities with their own sub portfolio.

Guess my inspiration pic related.

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>>26573309
That is my favourite Discworld novel.
I like you.

>>26574111
Thank you friend

Ran a Wild West supernatural game a few years back. Just for two sessions, intending to throw as many Western tropes as I could in, including: Irish Lass who's a deadly shot with a rifle, running on a train, cattle rustling, fighting over rights to a gold mine, robbing a stage coach, etc. All of my players stepped up to make it awesome, but two took the cake:

>Halfling Gunslinger (Ranger)
>Backstory is sister was killed by a demon, and every demon he finds he plays russian roulette with figuring that it will go off when he finds the demon responsible.
>Ends up meeting the demon who admits it because he's not afraid.
>Russian roulette? No, showdown at high noon.
>He spins the barrel on his first turn, gets shot, gets critted, goes down
>Has a feat that lets him ranged basic when he drops
>Rolls 1d6, 6 for the bullet, pulls it off
>Roll to hit, crit, confirmed.
>Ended up dropping into negatives, but headshot the demon

(cont.)

>>26575864
>Same game, another player playing a barroom brawler with a magic portal to an extradimensional saloon (long story)
>Corners bad guy when BBEG's personal bodyguard attacks
>Bodyguard is a giant female werewolf
>Pulls werewolf into saloon, no one else can enter.
>Werwolf vs human grudge match in empty saloon
>Werewolf pounds him into mulch when, down to 2 HP, he remembers his spurs are silver, kills her with them
>This is all happening in another room while other players take a break
>They come back, and all they know is their friend disappeared into his saloon, then climbs out with his bloody boots in one hand dragging a werewolf carcass

Bump

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>>26566311
>>26566163
I love primal/tribal shit. I approve.

>>26570591
Haha this is epic and hilarious at the same time!

>Am newbie GM running a 3e M&M game for friends
>Have them fight in high rise city with huge skyscrapers
>This session's villain is a Satellite technician of the mid-90s gone rogue
>Named himself, "Freq" and has been wire-tapping like crazy leading the PCs every which way for giggles
>They decide to go talk to everyone in person and find that they had been duped
>Track him down, fight ensues and he leaps out the window
>Using his "Boom Boots" to propel himself whilst creating a sonic boom
>One of my players is literally a nerd in a Boba Fett costume
>Charges out the window with his jetpack
>They're spiraling around the skyscrapers fighting in mid-air
>Windows are getting blown out due to the booms
>Player crit strikes Freq and stuns him causing him to fall
>Player jetpacks down and sweeps him up before taking him back to the team who mopped up the rest of the baddies

It felt good. Like the saturday morning cartoon game I wanted to make.

>>26566311
game of thrones vibes anyone?

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>D&D 3.5
>Lvl 15 Bard, Half Elf-Nymph
>Be fun gypsy bard
>Meet attractive dwarf
>Sing dwarf many songs
>Become dwarf's wife
>Find out he is immortal
>Seek out evil vampire-lord-of-evil-things
>husband gets captured
>I am forced to kill him
>escape
>party doesn't give a shit about my loss
>Dm lets me switch to Wilder
>become the vengeance
>try to find vampire-guy
>turns out he is my dad
>redirect vengeance to pc's
>preform sudoku ritual
>Summon Tiamat: Dragon Goddess of Destruction
>Tiamat engulfs planet in sweet destruction
>RainsOfCastamere.jpg

gg

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>>26567432
Thought the story was awesome enough to screencap.

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>>26567873
And another one. Odd, this is the only story I have saved that starts with "Fuck".

>Be GM, Pathfinder
>One of players is a cleric of Gorum(God of Battle)
>Part-way through a session everyone is trying to take a peaceful route through something I expected them to fight through
>Start typing with the name "Gorum"
>"Fuck those guys kill everything"
>Cleric player acts like he is actually hearing the voice of Gorum commanding him to battle
>Everything goes well and they kill everything
>Gorum even gave the cleric a +1 bonus on a damage roll because he critted so hard
>After the fighting ends, Gorum just gets bored with the ensuing conversation and hasn't spoken again since

It started as a joke and then became a legitimate in-character thing

I might, if they ever find a temple of Gorum, have those within treat the party as if they actually had Gorum walking with them

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>>26571717
And another one screencapped. Sorry about the mediocre name, for some reason it was the only one I could think of.

And holy hell, there's some amazing rolls in this thread. I think one of the earlier posts got quints.

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>fight werewolf in a dark as shit cave in 3.5
>was new to roleplaying and made a bard who used scythes and had improved tripping, among other useless things
>use ventriloquism to lure werewolf into corner and ambush the shit out of it
>wounded, it starts climbing up a cliff and people chase after it
>gets cornered on an edge, is fighting everyone off
>"I want to trip the werewolf"
>Roll is a natural 20, no attack of opportunity against me because the scythe has reach + imp tripping
>werewolf falls off cliff and DM allows the entire party to jump on it, beating it into a horrific and bloody pulp before it smashes into the ground below

>>26584212

A bit to supernatural for that, ain't it?

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homebrew schizo tech setting
>we're playing an individual prologue with the GM for each character
>my PC is in a brutal military, it's wartime
>sent to guard/patrol in a border town
>nothing happens, boring as fuck
>suddenly idea for solving low level money problem
>"Stop, CIVILIAN!"
"Wh...what is it?"
>"I SAW you snooping around all suspicious like! Gimme some id!"
"H...here."
>"Why, this is clearly a forgery! We'll have you shot for this, spy!"
"What? No! I'm a local, born and raised! I can prove it!"
>"DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT! You'll tell us the truth back at the base even if I have to beat it out of you. Which I'm looking forward to, smartass."
"No, please wait... will a hundred credits be enough for to look the other way?
>"Fuck yeah, run along"
>repeated this two more times
>approaching another guy
>"Why, this is clearly a forgery! We'll have you shot for this, spy!"
>suddenly badge
>COUNTER INTELLIGENCE SPECIAL AGENT
WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND UNIT, SOLDIER?
>oh shit
>give my actual name and unit because I'm a dumbfuck
>go back to unit with pants full of shit
>in a few days commander calls me over
>fuckfuckfuck
>my face when the agent was impressed I managed to spot his behavior and expertly forged id
>my face when I got a medal
>my face when I got assigned to a special task group that ended up being the party

>Dark Heresy
>Joined the game late because the group lost a player and I was free
>Start as rank 2 Cleric
>GM has me tied up in a factory on a feudal world the last session ended in because they need to look through it
>They find me tied to a boiling pipe, then untie me, kick me to the ground, and tie me back up
>Later find out the people who grabbed me were Eldar
>GM gives me Hatred(Eldar) for free
>Later
>We've kill the Eldar and 2 of the others took weapons/gear from them; I took a monoknife because I needed a melee weapon
>One of them comments about how his new xeno-tech weapon is pretty neat, or something
>I take off my shoe, which is covered in mud and xeno blood, and throw it at the back of his head
>He tries to throw it back at my face
>Misses by a mile, rip shoe, lost somewhere in the forest
>Later still
>We arrive in capital city of the planet
>Rogue Trader they've been traveling with offers us all booze
>All but 2 accept
>We get so drunk we black out
>Next morning I wake up and look around room
>SHOES EVERYWHERE

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Anyone got more stories? If not, I think I might go ahead and dump some I saved.

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Master blaster from mad max in the form of 2 gnolls. one small rut ridding on a large one

happend to another guy in our party

>party walks into tavern
>our fighter sees a woman and, being the dashing swordsmen type, tries to fuck her
>they go up stairs
>GM passes note to fighter
>fighter walks down stairs and runs out the door
>hear a wall upstairs break, dragon roar, and people scream
>see red dragon dragon carrying off fighter
>"well fuck, hes probably dead. lets track it down in the morning and try to get back his corpse"
>more notes
>fighter walks into tavern, some clothing burned or torn, with a far away look in his eyes.
>"oh shit, you are back. the uh... the dragon was too fast for us. what happend?"
>"i dont want to talk about it"

the fighter got immunity from fear (hes already seen worse) and a moderate amount of resistance from fire

>>26584212
nnnnno?

we destroyed a developing civilization for a shoddy boat.

I don't know if anyone will like this story. It will be the first time that I tell a story (and greentexting), so please bear with me.

>DH game, players were at the time a Tech-priest (me) and a Psyker.
>Prologue, aboard a ship that transports the Inquisition.
>I've been given a pass-card to reach the higher levels of the ship.
>Suddenly, 3 guys start harassing an old man.
>I go closer to help the old man, but DM says that I have no time (our DM is pretty strict with fast decisions).
>I ask the DM what items I have on me, and the DM answers only the pass-card.
>So since I'm too far away to stop them physically and with nothing on hand, I improvise! And throw the pass-card to hit the aggressors.
>Both DM and the other player face-palm, and start explaining that I could just show them the pass-card and all would be over.

Later incident on the same day.
>We descend on a planet and our party along with a small army starts walking through the market trying to reach the Governor's Tower.
>The DM suddenly tells me that a child has stolen my purse.
>I didn't have any guns on me at that time, and wanting to stop the child from running away with my purse, I declare what the DM feared.
>''I throw my pass-card at the child''.
>I roll to see if I can hit the child to stop it, and my die thinks that it is the perfect time to crit.
>DM: ''Well, yeah, your pass-card gets thrown with such force that it pierces the child's back and kills it''.
>Not the best first impression on the planet.
>When I go to retrieve my purse, the body of the child melts and disappers.
>DM: ''The child was a Nurgling, and with your action you start the rebellion of the daemonic forces before its time.''
>The other player face-palms again.

cont...

>>26569356
>Its not everyday that you meet a DM who not only cares about characters' backstories, but uses them in some fashion.

Seriously? Isn't that the whole point to having one?

>>26587706

Continued...

>After a lot of running, fighting and me losing my right leg due to a botched die, me, the Psyker and another friend of mine playing an Imp. Guard get confronted by a really big Nurgle Daemon.
>With nothing to fight it, the Daemon slowly tempts us to the Chaos, and for every negative answer he breaks our legs and arms.
>Just before our deaths, our Inquisitor comes and destroys the Daemon.
>He heals us, and while the rest of the party were gathering their gear, I went to check the Daemon remains.
>DM: ''You feel that the Daemon isn't dead yet and could return any minute now.''
>Me: ''I attack it with my pass-card!''
>Critical hit with my pass-card, and the Daemon is finally defeated.
>The DM awards me with enough experience to level up a rank, while the other players decide to make me a string with pass-cards to hang it around my neck and use it as my ultimate weapon.

Yeah, now that I type it, I guess I was That Guy, wasn't I?

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M gunslinger was killed by a party member and many sessions later after I rerolled we ran into a minor BBEG who was my gunslinger who came back as a pale stranger.


He killed the entire party.
>mfw

>>26587994
Coming from someone who has never gotten to play DH, you sound more like a great person with a great sense of humor.

>>26588361

Thanks man. It was actually my first DH game, I didn't know much of the lore at that time and I chose a hard character to roleplay (Tech-priest). My only roleplaying was with DnD Clerics and Bards, and all of my friends say that my bard character seeped into my Tech-priest...

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>>26585709
AHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>26587073
BroNN v Brom, visionary, out in the Forrest turns into cold scene, wolf "emessary" in vision, etc

>>26566163
You cant eat on a vision quest you ignorant fuck i hate you so much right now

>>26566677
>>26566832
That dm here.
It wasn't a flayer, it was a Venedaemon, so you were entirely justified in tossing it down that hole.

>>26566795
>>give a martial player a chance to do something really cool
>>must be a shit dm

>>26588460
>hard character to roleplay
Damn, they sound like the best class to me. I wish there was an RP group around where I live, never even played D&D.

>>26588560
Besides, you tossed several thousand GP of loot down that hole with it, which is why I threw in the bonus XP.

Bumpan

>>26588573

They are indeed a great class. I now remembered another story from that game where I really tried to roleplay him correctly but it came back to bite me in the ass.

>We return to our ship after saving the planet with the daemonic rebellion.
>As soon as we go aboard, a military chick starts eyeing our Psyker.
>Another acolyte comes to me, but I cut her fast with 'No pleasures of the flesh'.
>I was going for the skill (talent?) of removing a part of my brain and losing my emotions because that would be the only way to roleplay seriously.
>The same night, someone knocks on our Psyker's door. He opens it cautiously and finds the military chick kissing him and generally being all over his dick.
>Then comes a knock on my door. I take my weapon and cautiously open the door, and what I find is... a servitor.
>Which proceeds to start kissing me! The DM's response was 'He's not anymore a creature of the flesh!'
>Since then I heard rumours on our ship that someone slept with a servitor, and the DM said in random times that I can feel someone watching me.
>In the next big fight that we took part, I was going to die and so I burnt a fate point.
>DM: ''The servitor that was following you all this time jumps in front of you and takes the shot. You can hear it whispering Master. He is not breathing anymore.''
>Over the body of my trusty servitor, I swore vengeance while crying its name.

>>26588845
>'He's not anymore a creature of the flesh!
Hahaha, that's fucking awesome.
10/10 Sweet GM

>>26586976
What gender was the dragon?

>>26588210
>pale stranger

Is there some sort of western legend I'm missing?

>Playing V:TM
>Playing as a Nos who owns and lives in his own Land Fill and still keeps in touch with living relatives as "Granpa"
>Just got done dealing with Ratkin looking for a new place to live and chilling in my sanctum when a strange dude comes to my door
"Tell me where the wererats are!"
"Go suck a dick"
>He busts in my sanctum and we duke it out. Fairly even until he pulls a gun that aggs me and still demands to know where the wererats are.
>Finally get the better of him with my maxed strength and Potence 4 and beat his ass down.
>Find out he's a hit mark and he's about to self destruct. Fuck
>Barely survive but jumping into the basement
>So begins my journey to kill a rogue It-X mage who wanted to capture the wererats.

I didn't even care about the wererats but it became personal when he attacked me. Strangely enough after the fight I got a strange vail of liquid that gave me vicissitude which I used to save another PC when we fought a Nafandi.

2nd ed Dnd,

>roll up stats, end up with a 3 in con and a 18 in wis
>Gonna be a cleric
> Roll for HP
>roll a 1
>Get -2 hp from low con
>Be Stillborn


>dm laughed so hard, decided to start me with 5 hp.
>Prayed to that DM rest of campaign

>>26589440
the fighter wont tell us.

Let me tell you about the character my little brother, aged 15 at the time, played in a DH campaign I ran.

He was a Cleric from a feudal world of many Dark Age like societies of lords, councils and fortresses. The people of this world were naturally short because of the higher than Earth gravity and quite plump because of the numerous high nutrition foods they were able to cultivate ranging from delicious turtles and freshwater crabs; to pheasant, rabbit and other game all the way down to the a native species of mushroom they could grow in abundance in any dark location. They live in underground settlements which are easier to defend from oncoming forces of rival lords. The people of this world are plagued by xenos on 3 different fronts. The first are groups of Grotts who, since a WAAAGH landed and was fought off, have rebelled against their Ork masters and have somehow managed to cause Ork spores on the planet to be sterile leading to only ever having Grott spores mature. The second are Dark Eldar raiders who often attack settlements who refuse to hand over slaves and exotic crafts the humans carve from a particular species of tree the Dark Eldar appear to have an affinity with. And the third and final are a race of native small lizard-like xenos who are more pests than a real threat; they steal from and trash human settlements and sometimes large groups attempt to kidnap human children in an attempt to raise them as their own for they see the human lifestyle as cruel and unusual forms of punishment against innocents who deserve better.

>>26591907


The interplanetary industry of this world is fueled by its abundance of various mineral deposits which the natives typically unearth while digging out new settlements or expanding their current ones; and the craft of good quality feudal-type weaponry. Their carved bone crossbow bolts, sometimes imbued with a native shaman/sanctioned psyker powers are very valuable. And its people are often recruited into imperial guard regiments where they are valued for their tenacity to never back down from a fight, their bloodthirsty nature against anyone who isn't another human and of course the blind zeal for their Emperor burned into their minds at a young age.

My brother Cleric from this planet was recruited by a visiting Inquisitor who ignored the locals advice of not going off into the wilderness for a camping trip because of the presence of a large group of Dark Eldar raiders recently and ended up having to be rescued by my brothers character who single handedly, using nothing but the chain mail vest his pappy forged for him; the 2 handed hammer his grandma made and his obnoxiously loud voice to drive off 10 raiders.

In every session this character was at the forefront of the roleplay. He was the party face who could bring a commissar to tears using his impassioned speeches about service to the Imperium alone. He came up with great battle plans and awesome thinking-out-the-box investigative methods.

>>26590399

And here I thought that could only happen in early editions of Traveller...

>>26591923
Some of his exploits included:

>Bringing said Commissar to tears by yelling loudly about how important it is for one to serve the Emperor.
For this he got Peer: Commissariat
>Out-drinking an entire squad of Inquisitorial Stormtroopers.
For this he got Immunity to Intoxication and poisons.
>Hammer-time danced after laying the smack down on 3 underhivers in flak armour wielding autoguns naked except for his pull over tabard and his hammer.
For this I made his hammer do an extra 1 damage when thrown for every 2 degrees of success.
>Throwing said hammer at a witch-cultist and doing enough damage to break his spine with the impact where in the guardsman of the group could barely scratch another with 2 full auto attacks.
For this I made the hammer Sanctified.
>Losing a sock in a battle and going on a rampage to find it because it was his lucky sock. And he found it in the teeth of a Juggernaut cultists had summoned, he beat the juggernaut up (without his lucky sock) with minimal aid from the party scum who basically acted as a distraction for 3 rounds by failing to do anything with their sword and shotgun.
For this I made the sock give +5 to a attribute of his choice chosen at the beginning of each session.

His name was Urist McHammerstien
He came from the planet of Oilfurnace, and the city of Bonesdeep.
His long beard came down to his belt.
His big nose and small cheeks turned a bright red when he was angry as a warning light to those he was about to smash.

He was the funniest damn character I ever had the pleasure of gaming with and he came from my 15 year old brother who had never played DH before.

And no one but me understood the whole character was one big joke.

>>26587994
Nah, you're pretty fabulous.

>>26589490
Statted creature in Pathfinder. Thing a revenant that disguises itself as a gunslinger. Tends to lead mobs and bandit groups and such. Cruel, evil, undead.

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>>26591907
>>26591923
>>26591952
DF APPROVED

OP here, it's cool to see your own thread have actually grown so big. Good stories in here, thank you /tg/!


>>26588524


It's implied I was on the vision quest before my character met Bram anyway since his appearance and home had disappeared after fighting the wolf so technically, I didn't eat anything.

>>26592491
Thank you sir

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Speaking of crazy characters...

Bump.

>>26567432
>I know he's got only one rule: if it's doing wrong, that's a clubbin'.

Fucking badass mang, got more stories?

>>26570047
Damn it, Anon, I laughed too much. I can picture the motherfucker with his curry and naan bread and everything

>>26588510
you some kinda poof, brother?

>Shadowrun
>2072, playing a washed up former movie star mystic adept who performed his own stunts, but now just has a cocaine addiction and runs cheap runs every now and then. Reuban 'Rock' Callahan, an elf.
>get caught up in a whirlwind of events which has us working for Ares
>Ares tries to kill us after we complete our main jobs by locking us in a room 5 stories underground and venting air
>Blow the room up, escape with fellow buddies, hijack a VTOL and make our way to neutral territory in Sioux country
>Eventually meet up with Sioux elders concerning events of our runs (way too much to explain, lets just say horrors)
>Run into frosty
>Procedes to tell me im an Immortal elf and over 10,000 years old
>get ring which can unfold into a suit of armor
>Later meet up with head of ARES, damien knight who's at a charity golf tournement
>Use my 'celebrety' to get in, talk to him, tell him about events and get him as an ally and buddy

By the end of it my character ended up dropping his habit, taking up alcohol instead (think james bond levels of alcoholism) and actually became a decent individual as opposed to a piece of shit. Later in a docwagon campaign during the 2060s we ran into Rock after his wife had gone missing.

So
Much
Cocaine

If you're reading this Strider, i love you

>>26571849
They prefer to be called Indians

>>26586976
That is fairly amusing. Sadly my preferred DM is on hiatus since he got us hooked on GW2 tpvp, and my regular DM is no fun allowed grimdark serious frowny face sort.

EVERYTHING YOU DO IS SHIIIIIT. (after the fact of course. giving PC's a legitimate option would be asking too much)

>>26570148

guatenala oficialy not america anymore

>>26571400
I see you have the H.P. Lovecraft Great Tales of Horror book lying on your table there. Oddly enough, so do I.

>>26566795
I do this kind of shit all the time. It's a reward to my players for thinking outside the box. Half the time they still don't notice, but it's always awesome when they do.
>captcha: and sulaaly
Yes, it's sulaaly as well as awesome.

>>26571849

Oh for fucks sake:

OP referred to his character as a "Native American Indian" obviously, this refers to the native population of America of the colonial era since the Spanish thought they had landed in India, therefore, calling them "Indians"

Calm the fuck down

>>26598925
Yep, especially since when this place was discovered again, Columbus knew he wasn't on Hindustan (India wasn't called India in 1492) because he wasn't retarded. Indian comes from his written accounts referring to them as 'Una gente in Dios.' A people in God. In Dios -> Indian. Perfectly respectable.

>>26584212

bran. check
giant wolf check

but thats about it really

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>>26601305
Huh, can't say I've heard this explanation before. Makes a lot of sense, but I'd like a citation if you have one.

Pic unrelated; I just want to dump another awesome story.

>>26602052

.....I don't understand how he did so much damage.

>>26571306
>Not shaking his hand and delivering an electrical touch attack in the process
Do you even comedy gold?

>>26602052
George Carlin's Brain Droppings. Dude loved to pick apart language and the offensive nature of humans. Don't know if HE cited his work for that though.

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>Playing as an Umber Hulk that wears the mainsail of a pirate ship as a cloak
>Fight endless ranks of marauding mercenaries assaulting some random town we step into a la Seven Samurai
>Discover a nameless town guard dead with a dozen arrows in his back, spears and swords through his body
>He's holding a sword by the blade through the handles of some double doors
>No one can pull open his death grip but me
>Discover frightened children inside. He used his dead body to protect the orphanage.
>Decide to completely derail the game to discover the history and name of a man the DM never even bothered to come up with a name for
>Spend three months of sessions honoring the fallen guard and opening orphanages across the land like Johnny Appleseed
>Become the people's purple champion
>DM made that game incredible and memorable and has a mention or hint of that umber hulk and his deeds in every game since

>>26602052
I'm just picturing that bard challenging Death to a rock-off.

>>26605537
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdL-zDxMhfI
It's still pretty much the same.

>>26601305
Respectable, sure, but kinda silly still. There's no reason to refer to two different groups by the same name.

>>26571873
JOKE


HEAD

>>26572724

The secret is the widen your stance, so the waist of your pants cannot slide down, also helps ground yourself while pissing if you're drunk.

>>26566163

>ITT: We tell the coolest thing our DM has ever done for our character.

This one time, someone DMed and let me play a character. For like two shitty sessions before it all fell apart and I had to take over DMing again.

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>>26606289

>>26603480
He rolled either 21 6's, with 9 STR, or 20 6's with 30 STR

>>26608298

Uh all at once? Yeah sure. I call bullshit on his story.

>>26608322
Implausible is not Impossible, but it is rather as stretch.

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A bit more on topic than my last image bump.

>>26606289
Story of my gaming life. I've sort of taken the role of forever GM because nobody else in the group is that good at GMing, especially the planning a meetup part.

I wish I could make a copy of myself so I can play a game I am running