[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1375784590022.jpg-(66 KB, 600x800, RViwCeS.jpg)
66 KB
66 KB JPG
This is for writing down the most generic and boring plot of your favourite system. We do this so GMs can browse this list and avoid this shit like the plague.

****

The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal something. But the runners are in for a surprise: Mr. Johnson is going to betray them.
>>
You are the chosen band of heroes who will save the place from a big bad evil guy.
>>
The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal something. But the runners are in for a surprise: there is a goose sitting quietly at every possible point of entrance.
>>
Go here
Fight durgers
get family heirloom
bring it back
>>
There is no such thing as a plot that is not generic. There are different iterations of a basic form but not much beyond that. The more "complex" plots are amalgams of different plots woven together at different points to offset plot fatigue.

[spoilers]Meet in tavern, hear about dungeon, find dungeon, unleash ancient evil.
>>
The king has been acting evil lately.

I like this one, though.
>>
the bbeg is definitely evil, not just in action and words but also attire. Always monologues when the party encounters the bbeg.
>>
>>26465460
>There is no such thing as a plot that is not generic

This sort of nonsense should have died in the 60's
>>
File: 1375785980446.jpg-(17 KB, 356x267, 1350128477565.jpg)
17 KB
17 KB JPG
>Lich/Necromancer/Cult in the Cave/Dungeon/Sewers
>PCs have to clear them out

Goose Thread
>>
There are mother fucking SNAKES on a mother fucking PLANE
>>
>>26465560
You act like it isn't true, though.
>>
File: 1375786482501.jpg-(6 KB, 236x213, surprise.jpg)
6 KB
6 KB JPG
The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal something. But the runners are in for a surprise: Mr. Johnson is a goose.
>>
All right geniuses, I see someone finally got around to working out that metaplots exist. Well fucking done, have a gold star.

Now listen up scrubs this is LITERATURE POWER HOUR and you're all invited.

All plots are generic on a fundamental, thematic level. People go places and do stuff in a large fucking number of books yes, and two stories about people doing broadly similar stuff isn't necessarily plagiarism.

But "people go places and do stuff" being a general constant across fiction isn't some excuse to fart around complacently smoking your Magritte Un-pipes and wearing fedoras because you just solved literature like it's tic tac toe or Nim. It's about working out how things can tell the same story different ways.

Let's take GO TO A PLACE AND BEAT A DARK LORD. Lord of the Rings, Eragon, those Joe Abercrombie books.

What makes one quest narrative better than another? How it diverges from the archetype. Yes your plot is fundamentally a quest, but what does it do within that space? A "generic" story tells it plain and uninterestingly. Like, perhaps, Eragon.

The minute you start looking at using generic stuff as-is to make a clever point about how nothing is original etc you 90% of the time disappear up your own bung hole and turn into Bioshock. Don't do that.

So the moral of today's lesson is YES THERE ARE ARCHETYPAL PLOTS, BUT SLAVISH ADHERENCE IS BORING.
>>
I fear no Goose!
>>
File: 1375787262737.jpg-(169 KB, 500x387, 2445257053_a51d5de562.jpg)
169 KB
169 KB JPG
The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal something. But the runners are in for a surprise: they have to steal a flock of geese
>>
File: 1375787466460.png-(31 KB, 1309x327, tg_will_screencap_anything.png)
31 KB
31 KB PNG
>>26465667
This is the best post on /tg/ right now.

>you just solved literature like it's tic tac toe or Nim

I love you, man.
>>
>>26465731
That... could actually be somewhat interesting if your players want to avoid going pink Mohawk: How to stay hidden, how to get them away and how to shut this noisy bastards up.
>>
Lately, the king has been acting like a goose.
>>
>>26465825
Well I'll take a Gander!
Huyukyukyuk!
>>
>>26465803
>punch/shoot geese in head

No-one said they had to be brought alive.
>>
You are a PC with a tragic backstory, in which your family died tragically in an accident at the farm. Now you must face the world alone, with nothing but the clothes on your back and your fathers' heirloom +1 magic goose.
>>
>>26466027
Cue internal conflict about the specific meaning of "bring them back," whether it means alive or not, if it means all of them, if such a silly mission is actually going to help their reputation, if the geese contain some kind of secret worth selling. In short, a regular Shadowrun game.
>>
The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal something. But the runners are in for a surprise: Mr. Johnson is a goose. They complete the mission, and ask Mr. Johnson: What's he deal with these geese? Mr. Johnson replies, You are welcome to geese.
>>
The evil tyrant hears word of a prophesy foretelling his downfall. In an effort to prevent it, he orders his soldiers to go out and kill every goose in the kingdom.

Unbeknownst to him, this decision will backfire in the future.
>>
The king has been acting goosey lately.
>>
>>26466405
Now that sounds kinda familiar...
>>
The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal a flock of geese. But the runners are in for a surprise: one of the geese is a disguised Mr. Johnson
>>
File: 1375791648807.jpg-(69 KB, 400x428, gUSBe.jpg)
69 KB
69 KB JPG
The Gooserunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp megabarn and steal something. But the runners are in for a surprise: they're captured and get turned into Cybergeese!
>>
The shadowrunners get a call from a goose. The assignment is to break into Mr. Johnson and steal something. But the runners are in for a surprise: it's actually a corp building.
>>
The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal something. But the runners are in for a surprise: Mr. Johnson is going to pay them in geese.
>>
File: 1375791858480.jpg-(57 KB, 590x443, goose_attack.jpg)
57 KB
57 KB JPG
The peaceful kingdom of the orcs is under attack by a goose warband. But the characters are in for a surprise: The warband leader is a duck.
>>
The corp building gets a goose from Mr. call: Their something is to assign a break in to a Johnson. But the surprise is in for a goose: Everyone's come along to take a gander.
>>
>>26466518
If this were a generic plot in a system I WOULD PLAY NOTHING BUT THAT SYSTEM
>>
>>26466460
Goose messiah leads his people to freedom.
>>
>>26466553
What are they doing at night in the park?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFK2Xq2RyiU
>>
Rain of geese plague town. Man discovers geese to be competent dance troupe. Man conquers national performance circuit.
>>
File: 1375792255188.jpg-(49 KB, 420x300, chickens.jpg)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
>>26465417
>>
>>26465676
Geese can break a man's arm with just their wings.
Not as terrifying as crows though.
Nothing is as terrifying as crows.
They are becoming like us. THEY LEARN. OH GOD THEY LEARN.
>>
Sorcerer, for shits and giggles, trains ethereal geese to interupt people during sex.
>>
The king hires a noble knight to save his prize goose from a dragon. Or vice-versa.
>>
>>26466639
Fun fact: if you gain the enmity of a crow, they can convey that information about you to other crows they meet. Travel to the other side of the country, and the crows over there will hate you too.
>>
File: 1375792413918.jpg-(38 KB, 500x333, angry-goose.jpg)
38 KB
38 KB JPG
The geese are turned into adventurers by an evil sorcerers and quest to find him again in order return to their care free jerk lifstyle.
>>
Clinically insane duke hires party to kill invisible geese that turn out to be invisible ducks with anger issues.
>>
>>26466629
Man discovers geese only dance when nobody else is around. Looney Tunes short is written based on subject, but geese are written out in favour of a frog.
>>
File: 1375792468165.gif-(575 KB, 429x313, Hooli-Gans.gif)
575 KB
575 KB GIF
>>26466600
This is your party!
>>
Newlyweds go out to visit a mutual associate when their goose breaks down in a sudden rainstorm.

Fortunately there were lights on in an old castle a ways back up the road. Maybe someone there can help out?
>>
File: 1375792526006.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 89 KB, 640x480)
Spoiler Image, 89 KB
89 KB JPG
QUACK QUACK MUFUGGRS
says Mr. Johnson
>>
>>26466661
They will also tell their children, and generations down the line they will still hate you. Specifically you. For being an asshole one time.
>>
Man discovers the goose that laid the golden egg. Unfortunately, the goose is broody and trying to hatch the egg, and breaks the arms of anyone who comes near.
>>
Ancient lich seeks new thrills by becoming ramp-jumping daredevil, succeeds in jumping bulette over 27 ill-tempered dire geese.
>>
OP hates generic plots
/tg/ hates generic threads
'twas a match made in geese
>>
The will of a distant uncle draws the group to an old mansion in New England. But unbeknownst to them, an ancient evil lurks within its walls: geese.
>>
>>26466658
The goose king hires a goose knight to save his prize dragon from geese.
>>
Spunky teenagers travel through time to stop cosmic goose-looking thing from annihilating planet; become their own grandparents.
>>
File: 1375792734408.jpg-(79 KB, 228x398, (fit) Vector cosplayer ha(...).jpg)
79 KB
79 KB JPG
In the grim duckness of the far future, there is only war.
>>
Ancient evil seeks to break out of its prison. The necessary ritual will require the sacrifice of millions of geese at predetermined times and places.

Some of those geese were your parents.
>>
High-level goose monk just starts biting people in the crotch, all the fucking time.
>>
>>26466658
>vice-versa.
as in "The king hires a noble knight to save his prize dragon from a goose"
or rather
The Dragon hires a noble goose to save his prize Knight from a King"?
I find any combination of the above likewise entertaining.
>>
Alll the geese in the kingdom vanish over night. The adventurers are sent on a quest to assure they stay gone.
>>
You all meet in a tavern. Only the tavern is a barn, and you can't talk to each other over all the honking.
>>
File: 1375792872935.jpg-(1.2 MB, 1880x2507, Goose_attack.jpg)
1.2 MB
1.2 MB JPG
I think that the main problem with geese is basically that they still remember what being a dinosaur was like.
>>
File: 1375792874047.jpg-(43 KB, 600x397, ГУСИ!!!!!!!!!!!11.jpg)
43 KB
43 KB JPG
HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK! HONK!
>>
>>26466749
ANY of the above.
"The prize Goose hires a noble Dragon to save his King from a Knight."
>>
You all meet in a tavern. The special of the day is roast duck. The bartender is a goose.
>>
You all meet in a goose. It's dark.
>>
File: 1375793060215.jpg-(15 KB, 187x269, canada goose.jpg)
15 KB
15 KB JPG
Canda Goose: The worst animal or the worst animal?
>>
>>26466795
I think you mean 'the worst animal' or 'the worst animal, eh?'
>>
The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal the goose that laid the golden egg. But the runners are in for a surprise: Mr. "Goose" has a Johnson.
>>
File: 1375793669188.jpg-(244 KB, 500x500, oblfront.jpg)
244 KB
244 KB JPG
The Bloody Geese are a mysterious Flock of Space Marines dedicated to the acquisition of knowledge as well as service to the Imperium of Man.

The precise Founding in which the Bloody Geese were created is unknown; their own chapter histories only begin in early M37, though other Imperial records contain some small references to the Flock proving their existence before then. It is important to note that the Bloody Geese histories are completely absent before the M37 date; they are not just spotty or fragmentary records. As a result, the Astartes of the Flock know absolutely nothing about their origins, including having no knowledge of their primogenitor legion or primarch. This absence of information about a primarch has resulted in the Bloody Geese focusing their spiritual reverence on the Emperor.
>>
All the geese of the kingdom are gone overnight.
While their absence is welcomed and the king declares this day a delightful festival with song and dance for his whole realm, the court wizard is the only one able to see the dark clouds that gather through this event.
After countless hours of studies and sending out scouts and spies into all directions he finally uncovers the shocking truth that could plunge the whole world into a malestrome of horror.
The great and Evil Mage Ral-guhal from the terror swamps in the distand lands of Alinar has summoned all geese into is vast and zyclopean lair where the geese are captured into boxes and poked with sticks by is foul minions all day long.
But his true goal is even more sinister. With geese being the most angry and wrathful creatures of the whole world, he channels their anger and tries to tear open a portal into the Nether-realm of elemental ANGER to summon the great Devourer LÖK.

The time of absolute doom draws near as the Kings sends out curriers to search for heroes worthy enough to stop the end of all things.
>>
>>26466363
The Shadowrunners get a call by Mr. Johnson. The assignment is to break into a corp building and steal something. But Mr. Johnson are in for a surprise: the Shadowrunners are a flock of geese.
>>
the shadowrunners meet with Mr. Jonhson. the get a job to extract a cybered up and self aware goose. the twist, Mr Johnson is also a cybered up goose and the goose you extracted alive is his mate and they fly away to a peaceful life.
>>
The inspector picks up the box curiously, but upon closer inspection realizes that it only has goose sides.

Roll sanity.
>>
>>26466917
>curriers
GOOSE CURRY
THE PARTY IS CHEFS
OH GOD SOMEONE MAKE THIS A GAME
>>
>>26465667
You can't smoke a Magritte Un-pipe, dingus, it's not a pipe.
>>
File: 1375794274976.jpg-(32 KB, 450x338, laughingdolphins.jpg)
32 KB
32 KB JPG
>>26466974

>he can't smoke an un-pipe

pleb go back to /lit/
>>
The king has been acting like a goose lately.
>>
Geese.
Angry corpses returned from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living. Monsters damned to Hell who avoid their punishment through life unlawfully stolen. Erotic predators who take their sustenance from innocent, struggling - or, perhaps, willing? - men and women.
Since time's beginning, humanity has spoken of the goose - the undead, the demonic spirit embodied in bird flesh, the corpse risen from its grave possessed of a burning anger for no reason. From Hungary to Hong Kong, from New Delhi to New York, people throughout the world have experienced chills of delicious terror contemplating the deeds of the nightstalking goose. The goose has haunted novels, movies, TV series, video games, clothing, even breakfast cereal. But these stories are mere myths, right?
Wrong.
Geese have walked among us from prehistoric times. They walk among us still. They have fought a great and secret war since the earliest nights of human history. And this eternal struggle's final outcome may determine humanity's future - or its ultimate damnation.
>>
>>26466034
That was no accident.
the magic goose killed them. you are next.
>>
File: 1375794433147.jpg-(8 KB, 192x263, veni.jpg)
8 KB
8 KB JPG
>>26467000
>>
Ever since the incident, you've been seeing the geese disguised as people for what they really are. Your boss, your girlfriend, they've all been goosed. Sometimes you think they can tell, and their honks of derision keep you up all night. You have to assemble a team of like-minded Hunters and make these fowl beasts get the flock out of here!
>>
The BBEG has plundered every available source of barnyard fowl, for unknown causes.

It is only later that the PC's discover traces of the true plan: enacting the ritual of foie gras, in which six hundred and sixty six goose livers are prepared to summon the dire arch-avian of the deepest pits.
>>
>>26466993
And then suddenly, the dolphins were geese.
>>
File: 1375794895249.jpg-(122 KB, 881x915, Mini Goose 1.jpg)
122 KB
122 KB JPG
Counts-as: Titan-class
>>
The king offers a cart full of gold to whoever can rescue his beloved princess from the dragon.

Secretly, "Princess" is the name of his pet goose.
>>
>>26467090
What is all this Titan crap? Is it the new Naruto?
>>
>>26467121
The king offers a cart full of gold to whoever can rescue his beloved princess from the dragon.

Secretly, 'a cart full of gold' is the name of his pet goose.
>>
What's the most post-modern metaplot?

>A band of plucky adventurers have to to do some conveniently expedient yet dangerous task (get a water chip) to fix the economy of some place and save its inhabitants

Or is this just the age old
>Hero/es must restore balance to the realm by retrieving a mcguffin
>>
Orks are invading the planet. It's your team's job to stop them. Plot twist: There's a cult trying to use the orks deaths to summon a goose.
>>
>>26467129

Counts-as usually refers to tabletop gaming models. Titan-class is a reference to a kind of big mech in the 40K games. Since it's a wood carving of a goose one would infer that he's saying he intends to use the goose as a stand-in for the mech in a game of Warhammer 40K.
>>
>>26467129
You silly goose.
>>
Goblins and Orcs are attacking the kingdom. An evil wizard is behind it.

He lives in a tower.
>>
File: 1375796104912.jpg-(110 KB, 474x492, 1347937375801.jpg)
110 KB
110 KB JPG
>>26467189
>to summon a goose

This is above my pay-grade. Summon the grey knights let them try to stop it.
>>
>>26467234

The tower is a goose.
>>
>>26467234
It turns out that the Orcs are just misunderstood, and have been forced to attack the kingdom because the Wizards stole their animal god's totem.

The animal god is a cassowary.
>>
File: 1375796458791.gif-(314 KB, 248x200, 1349286184013.gif)
314 KB
314 KB GIF
>>26467000
god damn, thats literally 2spooky4me
>>
>>26467305
>cassowary
OH SHI-
WE'LL NEED FOURTY GEESE TO COUNTER THIS FEATHERED FELON!
ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RECRUIT AS MANY AS FOUR TENS OF GEESE?
>>
>>26467263

The wizard is just three geese in a wizard costume.
>>
>>26467322
40 geese. How would you keep the beasts under control, when all they live for is anarchy?
>>
>>26467322
>forty geese

This is folly!
>>
>>26467340
That's why we're looking for demigods. Max out cha and diplomacy mayhaps?
>>
>>26467325
>The wizard is three geese in a goose costume made out of geese.

FTFY
>>
>>26467322
No, silly. You're trying to *rescue* the animal god. Then he will grant you his incredible powers.
But the only way to do so would be to sneak into the tower undetected, perhaps in some sort of livestock shipment. Yes, yes, the party will have to have themselves polymorphed into some kind of aggressive waterfowl, like... Like...

Swans!
>>
>>26467370
Oh, right. The Orcs are wise to choose the cassowary as their war god.
Time to see the ancient war of geese vs cassowary flare again.
>>
>>26467340
Dedicate one session to make the players give the geese military training. So that this rag tag group of no goods function as a team.
This is the session theme: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyz_2DEah4o
>>
File: 1375796988423.jpg-(8 KB, 245x257, 1363703165952.jpg)
8 KB
8 KB JPG
>>26467370
>swans
>>
>>26466927
You light a candle, but the room is not lit up. You can see the flame, but it's just as goose as anything else.

Roll sanity.
>>
>>26467383
>40 geese with military training
Nothing can possibly go wrong with this guys.
>>
>>26467383
"A few years ago, a crack goose unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These water foul promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Lake Darkwater underground. Today, still wanted by the Flightless bird association they survive as Murder hobos. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire The G-Team."
>>
"When I look for my buddy I see he'd stripped and piled his clothes by the roadside... He pees in a circle round his clothes and then, just like that, turns into a goose!... after he turned into a goose he started honking and then ran off into the fields."
>>
>>26467167
A band of plucky adventurers get hired to watch over and keep the peace of a largely benign bazaar where bad things rarely happen. They learn things from the shopkeepers, play games with the kids, and generally bring happiness to the people in their own quirky way.

Postmodern enough for you?
>>
>>26467426
Depends. Is the bazaar a goose? Or is it an all-goose party? Wait, that would be bad if the adventurers were 'plucky'...
>>
>>26467418
>B.A. Barragoose
>Gooseman Peck
>H.M. "Honking Mad" Murduck (He is a goose)
>Hannibal Smith (I can't think of any goose puns for this)
>>
File: 1375797642211.jpg-(117 KB, 500x333, Goose statue.jpg)
117 KB
117 KB JPG
Some were the figures of well-known myth -- gorgons, chimeras. dragons, cyclops, and all their shuddersome congeners. Others were drawn from darker and more furtively whispered cycles of subterranean legend -- black, formless Tsathoggua, many-tentacled Cthulhu, proboscidian Chaugnar Faugn, and other rumored blasphemies from forbidden books like the Necronomicon, the Book of Eibon, or the Unaussprechlichen Kulten of von Junzt. But the worst were wholly original with Rogers, and represented shapes which no tale of antiquity had ever dared to suggest. Several were hideous parodies on forms of organic life we know, while others seemed to be taken from feverish dreams of other planets and galaxies. The wilder painted of Clark Ashton Smith might suggest a few -- but nothing could suggest the effect of poignant, loathsome terror created by their great size and fiendishly cunning workmanship, and by the diabolically clever lighting conditions under which they were exhibited.
>>
>>26467465
>Hannibal Smith (I can't think of any goose puns for this)

It's just Dirk Benedict wearing feathers.
>>
>>26467121
>>26467156

A goose offers a cart full of princesses to whoever can rescue his beloved dragon from the gold.

There are no secrets.
>>
>>26466661

There's a story about a town in Nebraska or some other flyover state that crows will always avoid on their migratory course because some crows witnessed a shooting there a few years ago. The man actually shot a crow but it sounds more interesting when I put it the way I did.

Crows are the best birds, no doubt.
>>
>>26466665
This is my favorite post on /tg/ right now.
>>
The end of the dungeon has a raised podium with a chest on top. There's a puzzle to solve in order to get at it, but subtle hints warn you off.

Opening the chest breaks a magical seal, and releases an angry goose.
>>
A disturbing number of half-goose babies are being born.

The mayor of a large city has recently announced that he is a goose.

Goose nomads have entered into town and begin celebrating a fertility rite. The activity greatly disturbs the populace, which threatens to have them imprisoned or worse.

A doppelganger has taken the identity of a local goose and goes on a spree of rape.

Geese are breeding at an even more accelerated rate, and are beginning to flood the countyside.
>>
You have annoyed the GM one time too many. Now your quest must be put on hold as you seek out some means to remove the cursed girdle of gander-switching.
>>
File: 1375809890318.jpg-(236 KB, 800x992, khornegooserker.jpg)
236 KB
236 KB JPG
I love the drawfag who drew this for me
>>
File: 1375809990591.png-(2.93 MB, 1103x1553, duck.png)
2.93 MB
2.93 MB PNG
>>
The president has been kidnapped by geese. Are you a bad enough duck to rescue the president?
>>
File: 1375811083295.png-(571 KB, 540x720, awwyeeeh.png)
571 KB
571 KB PNG
Duck here, geese are all a bunch of faggots.
>>
File: 1375811146319.jpg-(325 KB, 1024x768, goose.jpg)
325 KB
325 KB JPG
>>26469572
fite me in the IRL fields m8

i'll duck you up.
>>
>>26467395
personally, I prefer soundtracks for the blind, but I think seer was a great album in its own right
>>
>>26467605
That's actually how you get rid of crows on a property. You have to actually shoot at, and finish one off.
>>
>>26467411
A sea rises out of the city, but when you look closely, you realize the goosemetry is all wrong.

Roll Sanity.
>>
>>26469644
Halfway through your flight, you feel like something's off. As you turn your head to ask your copilot, you realize that "Goose" isn't just his callsign.

Roll Sanity.
>>
>>26469697
At least he's still your wingman.
>>
>>26469703
Bit of a feather-head, though.
>>
>>26469736
And definitely no stranger to fowl language.
>>
>>26469898
But that's besides the point. The pond begins to rise with a feathery air, and you begin to see something you can barely comprehend begin to rise along with it...

Roll Sanity.
>>
>>26469928
Nobody's said 'Roll Goosery" yet. I am disappoint.
>>
>>26469928
Your "friend", Herbert West, has succeeded in reanimating a corpse. A voice cries out "For God's sake, John, jump!" But the voice does not come from the headless body in front of you.
It comes from the shadowy goose in the corner.

Roll sanity.
>>
>>26470060
You roll sanity and the dice comes up saying 'goose'.

Roll honkery.
>>
>>26466640
I swear to god that's an Oglaf comic
>>
>>26466723
Now I imagine the walls being full of holes like a swiss cheese and fucking geese pokes their heads out of them to bite you.
>>
The goose emperor has died, fragmenting his once sprawling empire and bringing about civil war. You must find his successor.
>>
You flip through the pages of the book, but each has the same picture of a goose on it. As you read on, you realize that the book should have run out of pages minutes ago.

Roll sanity.
>>
>>26470521
You flip through the pages of the book, but each has the same picture of a goose on it. As you read on, you realize that you're holding a goose.

Roll for defense.
>>
>>26465560
Learn to post modernism bro.

We're living in a nihilists wet dream; the only question is whether you're an optimistic one or a pessimistic one.
>>
>>26470573
You flip through the pages of the book, but each has the same picture of a goose on it. As you read on, you realize a goose is holding you.

Roll to grapple.
>>
>>26466758
Jesus christ, why is this making me laugh so hard.

I love this thread.
>>
>>26470656
You flip through the pages of the book, but each has the same picture of a person on it. As you read on, you realize you're a goose.
>>
>>26470656
You flip through the pages of the book, but each has the same picture of a goose on it. As you read on, you realize that a goose is goosing you.

Roll for acrobatics.
>>
>>26465446
god dammit
>>
File: 1375816252834.jpg-(42 KB, 618x464, movies_goose_top_gun_1.jpg)
42 KB
42 KB JPG
>>26469697
>>26469703
>>26469736
>>26469898
>>
>>26470797
Wait, is he giving me the bird?
>>
>>26470824
rolling for sanity with a DC of 90
>>
Evil sorcerer captures souls of geese, binds them, overfeeds the geese souls and creates monopoly on ghost foie-gras or liches with refined tastes.
>>
>>26471018
Frequent customers are known to put it on their bill.
>>
File: 1375818120988.jpg-(69 KB, 880x800, geese-ngbust.jpg)
69 KB
69 KB JPG
Geese are pretty boss.
>>
File: 1375818197217.jpg-(37 KB, 498x500, 1209067320_f.jpg)
37 KB
37 KB JPG
A mighty half-goose has begun a breeding program with wildly differing species, resulting in horrid aberrations.

A local goose is caught in a sexual scandal involving a divine celibate.

A roving band of geese has come into town, sleeping with anyone they can.

A marauding band of geese kidnaps all the women of a small town.

Captured by an enemy, the adventurers are handed over to a goose to learn the meaning of discipline and respect.
>>
You are weary, running away from your enemies for days, after you unveiled their plans. You are in the desert, without a mount, supplies or hope, with nothing to do but wait for your demise, be it by the hands of your enemies, or the unclement desert. You blink, and, when you open your eyes, you see a flare of white light, distant in the horizon; it looks like a tent, although you are sure there was nothing there a second ago. Rising from the desert dust through sheer willpower, you drag your almost uncosncious body to the tent, and falls a mere 10 feet from its entrance.

When you wake up, you are in a simple, but comfortable, bed inside a large tent. Your wounds have been tended, you are hydrated and your body dons a new, clean tunic. Suddenly, you hear some suffling behind you, and when you turn around, a small arabian man with crazy-looking eyes begins to speak:

Hello friend, I am Crazy Hassan. You recovered, yes? very ansty men came around looking for you, but Hassan hid you well in Stealth Camel. They search everywhere, but did not find you. Camels are excellent mount for any purpose? You need to infiltrate place? Just jump inside Stealth Camel, and you'll never be noticed; just bask in its magnificent purple colour! Want to look for sunken cities? Undersea Camel will take you to Atlantis and back withot a hitch, scuba mask included! Want to exact revenge on bad peersons? Goose Camel will help you in your quest, and provide fres eggs while doing it!
>>
You receive a positively feather-ruffling accusation of having your head in the clouds and a fowl mouth.

Roll a goose check.
>>
>>26471380
I fowled my goose-check, boss. What happens?
>>
God damnit /tg/, I damn near pissed myself reading this thread.
>>
>>26471338
"Wait, Goose Camel?"

"Yes, Goose Camel! Very good, slightly used war camel with geese attached to various body parts! Someone tries to sneak on you? Geese will detect honorless people, and honk, or break their limbs, or peck them into submission! No worry about having to set up camps or watch your surroundings! You need fluffy pillow for sleeping? Use gooses' down, or a goose itself. No it will not attack you, it is part of Goose Camel, and Goose Camel never turns on its owner! You want breakfast? Just use goose egg! They are delicious with some pepper and salt! So, do you want to buy camel? Of course you do!"

While he talks, Hassan drags you to a corner of his camel emporium, and shows you a camel, disguised as a nest, covered in geese with some free space in its hump for you to ride it.

"But, I can't pay for it!"

"Hassan has the best prices for slightly used camels anywhere in the world! Just name your price!"

"Ehhh... how about my wallet? It's not like I'm having some use to it..."

"Great price, friend! But I can't be unjust, that would be too much! Here, have a bag of dates. Camels love dates, and they will also keep you fed!"

"Uh... ok, thanks. By the way, do you know where is [town]?"

"No need to ask me, Goose Camel will lead you to evildoers always! Goodbye friend! Make some justice! AND DON'T FORGET TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT CRAZY HASSAN'S SLIGHTLY USED CAMEL EMPORIUM: WE HAVE THE BEST PRICES"
>>
>>26471517
Note to self: Next drawthread, ask for Goose Camel. Also Gooseperor of Goosekind to go with the Khornate Goose above.
>>
A group of Wild Geese must operate into a secret nazi vampire installation, little do they know that the commander of the facility is a nazi vampire duck.
>>
File: 1375819401118.jpg-(112 KB, 1024x768, Concerned duckizen.jpg)
112 KB
112 KB JPG
>>26471562
>nazi vampire duck
That's specieist!

I think we vampire ducks have paid our dues a long time ago for wrongs our fowlfathers created.
>>
File: 1375819479813.jpg-(60 KB, 500x500, Count_Duckula_First_Series.jpg)
60 KB
60 KB JPG
>>
>>26471634
That's a rather... Sunny disposition you have there.
>>
>>26471634
>Ducks

>Pay dues

Oh ugly duckling. How we swans pity your silly thinking process. You'll never pay your dues until your entire kind has been wiped off the face of the Earth.

Go drown in a puddle quack-scum!
>>
>>26471669
>Swan nobility paying goose mercenaries to conduct genocide on all duckkind

Wow
>>
>>26471687
Now this is swan unexpected turn into grimduck.
>>
The party, a Rogue Trader and his crew, have fallen on hard times and have been driven to consort with foul Xenos in order to make ends meet. They're currently closing a deal to smuggle a large quantity of goose-down pillows from the empire of Avia to the decadent nobles of the Imperium.

Unfortunately, their contact is an agent of the Ordo Mallard.
>>
>>26471687
>All because of one swan ancestor who was bullied by ducks for being ugly when he was young

Swans are douchefags
>>
>>26471713
>foul

>Not fowl
>>
True fax:
Ducks have a 9" long barbed exploding corkscrew penis
Ducks have been documented to commit homosexual necrophilia
A ducks penis falls off after every breeding season and grows back with length that varies depending on how many competitors he had.
Female ducks vaginas corkscrew in the opposite direction and some have dead ends because male ducks are such rapey fucking jerks.

Ducks, not even once.
>>
>>26471781
>Heronry!
>>
>>26471781
God-Emperor damnit.
>>
>>26471807
Duck dolphin hybrids when?
>>
Gentlemen, we must not duck the issue. This topic is about the goose.
>>
>>26471862
Scrooge McDuck, pls.
>>
>>26471949
No. All you duck people, swanning in here like you own the place...
>>
>>26471839
Dolphins are bros, dude. They totally don't rape, and don't like caves. You can totally trust me. I am a hew-mahn typing this.
>>
>>26472172
Wait a sec are you trying to rape me again?
>>
>>26472194
Not at all. I am totally a normal hew-mahn on the interweb. And do not know where you live. Where do you live, by the way?
>>
There's this town and it's being harassed by a band of goblins.

Time for your party to grind up a level!
>>
>>26472206
>harassed by a flock of geese

Time for your party to reroll characters!
>>
File: 1375821869064.jpg-(345 KB, 771x1117, dolphins are terrible people.jpg)
345 KB
345 KB JPG
>>26472172
>>
File: 1375822518213.jpg-(305 KB, 771x1117, 1375821869064.jpg)
305 KB
305 KB JPG
>>26472248
The first thing that hit me
>>
>>26465635
Jesus that is the funniest picture ever
>>
>>26465635
Wait. Geese have teeth?
>>
>>26465460
>Meet in tavern
Don't most quests start in a tavern because that's the main social meeting spot in most of recorded history?
>>
>>26472517
In most of recorded history the only people who could afford to travel or pay an innkeepers fee were rich.

Fantasy is pretty dumb.
>>
>>26472517
That would be a church, not a tavern
>>
Well, looks like this thread's all out of goose.
>>
The party is part of Napoleon's army. They are about to fight the forces of the Duck of Wellington.
>>
>>26472841
The battle of Waterloon?
>>
>>26466690
Come to the caboose
See what's on the noose

I see you shiver
with antici.... it's a goose
>>
A bird-brained alchemist unleash a plague that turns iron and its alloys into rubber. Can you find the cure before all war-worthy metal reserves become too ducktile for battle?
>>
The Birdanian Empire wants to dominate the world through mind-control power. Do you, and your elite unit of birds of war, have what it takes to destroy the Code Geese?
>>
>>26472841
The campaign could start right after the breakdown of the Treaty of Avians.

>>26472841
Don't neglect the allied forces under Mallard von Blucher
>>
Inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, here is GOOSEBUMP, the world's first Bird Survival Horror.
>>
>>26473052
Don't lose- or your goose is cooked!
>>
File: 1375826509904.png-(340 KB, 640x378, 1339608531230.png)
340 KB
340 KB PNG
A local goose demands the right of the "First Night," in which he consummates the marriage by sleeping with the bride.

While creating the foundation for a new temple, workers unearth a statue of an ancient, forgotten goose god, who then comes to life.

A large flock of geese holds a small town hostage unless a dozen young women are offered up to them.

A goose has corrupted a highly revered cleric, causing him to commit unspeakable sexual acts.

During a festival, one of the adventurers notices a mysterious goose that seems to be following him.
>>
>>26473479
Of course, you should duck into cover as often as possible.
>>
File: 1375827109766.jpg-(5 KB, 256x273, descartes.jpg)
5 KB
5 KB JPG
Give her the duck.
>>
>>26466639
Damn it Anon, I didn't spend four years of 4-H Poultry Projects just to be bested by the one of the Birds I never raised.
I can DO this!

Also Crows are total bros man...

>>26466697
Secret Poultry Producer Art: SWEEPING WING-BIND GRAB!

>>26466758
Which is why I offer the same tactic for dealing with Velociraptors: PUNT THE LITTLE FUCKER!
>>
>>26470238
FUCK. I JUST WANT TO FIND. THE GODDAMN TREASURE. BUT THESE FUCKING GEESE. WON'T STOP FUCKING BITING ME.
>>
File: 1375829576927.jpg-(95 KB, 639x502, Muscovy-Duck.jpg)
95 KB
95 KB JPG
Led by a Tiefling Duck, the cult of the Goose Lord has been kidnapping people from the local village! Can you noble, brave adventurers rescue them, before they are sacrificed as an offering to the god of being a complete asshole?
>>
File: 1375832291109.jpg-(5 KB, 149x155, 1370974557325.jpg)
5 KB
5 KB JPG
>>26471305
>>26473483
>>
Geesus, so many ideas flock my head. Some of them, I dare to say, are eggscelent. Hope they will hatch soon.
>>
>>26465446
We give up. We can handle Lone Star rent-a-cops and hellhounds, but a runner has to draw a line somewhere.
>>
"Someone went into the woods and has gone missing"

To be fair, we play WFRP and this plotline gives almost no clues whatsoever in what to expect.
>>
>>26475491
kidnapped by rogue geese mercenaries?
>>
Geese have tunneled into the basement of the local inn.
>>
>>26466723
2spooky4me
>>
The face of terror.
>>
>>26470642
>post-modernism
not even once
>>
The floor is now geese

Everywhere.
>>
File: 1375833686415.jpg-(118 KB, 730x494, 1147553269967.jpg)
118 KB
118 KB JPG
Hello there, humans. Wanna enter my magical kingdom?
>>
>>26465417
I'm not going to read the thread, but that image isn't actually a joke. Over at the University of Waterloo, geese sometimes nest right outside of a door. One would normally just move the animal, but there are legal complications regarding relocating Canada geese, and it's illegal to kill them. Those guys are assholes and they bite ridiculously hard, as in enough to cause severe bruising and break the skin.
>>
This is it, Exalts. You've beaten the Ebon Dragon, saved Creation, and have artifact weapons beyond compare. There's only one thing standing between you and the finale: a Goose Totem Lunar boss battle. I hope you have enough motes left for perfect defenses.
>>
What if a beastmaster made a geese nunchuk?
>>
>>26475801
Too risky. You're one natural 1 away from being double-teamed by two irate geese.
>>
>>26466640
Oh, Jesus, my sides
>>
>>26475798
Good thing I filled my bag of holding with cracked corn then..
>>
>>26476561
>Cracked corn
>Implying geese want that

They just feed on it so you drop your guard.
>>
File: 1375837835972.jpg-(54 KB, 739x800, FRANK151_GEESE_IMAGE_1.jpg)
54 KB
54 KB JPG
>>
File: 1375839575431.png-(758 KB, 1500x1000, 1369944474527.png)
758 KB
758 KB PNG
thank you, /tg/
>>
>>26471517
Oh Crazy Hassan, is there any kind of camel that you don't have?
>>
>>26478567
The brand new ones I guess?
He only sells slightly used camels.
>>
>>26478567
Waldo camels. They always seem to disappear. How is camel that stealthy when wearing red and white stripes in middle of desert?
>>
>>26475743
comeon man, you gotta read this thread!
>>
>>26475743
So why don't they just scare them away?
>>
>>26465417
The reason they are used so often is because they are successful strategies, you moron.
>>
>>26484275
>Scare nesting goose
I believe there is some misunderstanding here. Unless you know some runners...
>>
>>26465417
Something happens, do something about it.

Or, to keep the theme of this thread:
Geese happens, so a goose does something.
(Sadly Enough, the 'Something happens' plot literally was used by a GM of mine for his first game. This thread needs to exist.)
>>
You need to get out of a building. But sitting outside the door is a swan!

For experienced parties.
>>
>There is this dragon who kidnapped the princess, you are a knight, go rescue her.
>There is this giant turtle who kidnapped the princess, you are a plumber, go rescue her.

Which one would you play?
>>
>>26486872
Neither. Insufficient geese.
>>
File: 1375883859411.jpg-(22 KB, 300x400, 2AgeSepiaPreview.jpg)
22 KB
22 KB JPG
>>26466553
Who could be better?
>>
>>26472551
To be fair, fantasy heroes have some travelling tools that the average bystanders just didn't have. Y'know, rangers riding pretty much any beasts, wizards flying/teleporting/etc..., not to forget ancient artifacts.

Also, adventurers are tremendously rich.
>>
File: 1375891410423.png-(407 KB, 400x533, gooseygosling.png)
407 KB
407 KB PNG
>>
File: 1375891705124.jpg-(290 KB, 960x1299, 1242482371823.jpg)
290 KB
290 KB JPG
>>26465667
Preach, brother!
>>
/tg/ - Totally Goose.
>>
Honk. Honk honk honk honk.
>>
>>26489243
Apparently he's horny.


[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post [File Only] Password
Style
[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / adv / an / asp / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / out / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / x] [rs] [status / q / @] [Settings] [Home]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

- futaba + yotsuba -
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.