The war between the former Citadel Kingdoms and the Phoenix Empire is in full swing. The arrival of the orcs has turned it into a near stalemate. The Empire is attacking on three fronts, and also seems unusually interested in the Citadel Dome, setting up a small encampment right by it.

There's been a snag though, and of course it appears that it's thanks to the Empire's spymaster, the person known as Kingfisher. He and his operatives managed to kidnap Princess Mumei, Barney Pits, and Ambrose Trapp.

Mumei and Barney were obvious grabs. Mumei has political significance, and she was finishing designs on her personal flying machine. Barney is the one who helped create the blackpowder rifles that have been crucial to your side's success in the war. Paladin Julian and Jesse-May Prosper fear that it's only going to be a matter of time before the technological advantage that you have is evened out, which would be catastrophic for your side. Prototypes have already been seen, and mass production wont be far behind.

Why they took Ambrose is a bit of a mystery. You and the Dawnchasers have suspicions that it's because Ambrose knows something that they want. It's probably not directly related to the war, but that doesn't ease your minds in the slightest.

Either way, you need to rescue your people. Jesse-May came up with a few plans on how to sneak inside, but you passed on them, either being impractical or neglecting the fact that you have 13 feet of highly noticeable snake tail below your waist.

So you decided to come up with a new plan. One that, in typical Dawnchaser fashion, is completely crazed and more than a little suicidal.

You're going to fly.

More specifically, you're going to make Wagon fly. Mage says it'll take a day or two to put together the apparatus he needs to make it work.

>>26333367
Good. Gives us time to shed.

>>26333415
We already did that...

via striptease.

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>>26333433
>>26333415
speaking of which, I think we probably didn't show anything TOO much off.

Mostly because I personally think Ssen works sort of like this, snake-waist wise. It only takes a shirt to cover up, and it prevents illogical snakebutts.


Also welcome back echo, hope you did well in your fight against the coyote menace

>just in time

Awww yeah.
We were discussing vacation last thread. Before we do anything else, let's write the two little ones a letter on how we are doing and that we plan to go hunting with them. We really should have more communication with them besides visits.

Plus we should word it such that the Kingfisher thinks we're exchanging secret messages.

You know a scene I'm really hoping happens?

A "meanwhile, the phoenix empire" scene like we used to get back during the spygames, except at the end wagon falls right through the tent and dawnchasers are on the scene

>>26333482
we'll teach the little ones all about bird hunting to start

>>26333495
Yeah. We should mention that, but other more "codey" stuff like "I write this in the light of a purple sun." (translation: I'm in purple sands, which is a lie)

>>26333465
Depending on what theory about lamias you subscribe to, you wouldn't be able to find snake pussy without a textbook diagram.

>>26333548
oh, and I forgot to mention:

Tricia hasn't said a SINGLE WORD since she was told about our "adventures" last night. She might need someone to snap her out of her embarrassment hell.

>>26333509
let's not make it TOO codey. Enough to through off the empire spies, but I still want it to be understandable by the little ones.

>>26333584
No, I actually think we should make it too easy. The Kingfisher knows we have learned of the letter-coding method and us trying it out for ourselves way too obviously will mark us as amateurs.

However, because it's all just lies and our true plans won't involve purple sands or anything else we put in there, Kingfisher will plan against plans that don't even exist, leaving him wide open.

He knows that we know, but he doesn't know that we're insane enough to put meaningless phrases in our messages just to fool him.

>>26333636
I don't even think we should bother with codes. We're a paladin and all that.

Plus I'm tried of sneaky shit

>>26333663
Fine then.

>>26333636
He knows that we know that he knows, but he doesn't know that we know that we don't know how to do proper coding.

>>26333663
I'd be down with hand-sign for Tactical Lamia Action.

Rolled 9

Yay, Lamiaquest.

>>26333709
Exactly.

I bet if we sent an ordinary letter that's just about the two girls going bird hunting and fishing with us he'll think it's actually an assassination order against a general and a naval officer.

Or maybe not. We should just send the letter to see how they're doing and ask them to write back.

No dragonfly means we need other options.

>>26333709
>>26333780
precisely. We send a completely ordinary letter.

>>26333793
What if we sent twelve completely ordinary letters, but using excessively flowery prose.

And then at the bottom of every letter, in big writing, put "THIS IS NOT A SECRET MESSAGE"

Oh man, another session I'll miss. At least it's fun to catch up in the archives. Not the biggest fan of spy games so far, but it's still good.

>>26333821
Now we're thinking with the Lamia brain.

>>26333821
Crazy enough to work

>>26333821
>KINGFISHER DON'T READ THIS THIS ISN'T FOR YOU
And it turns out, it isn't.

>>26333821
We should really write letters to Isen, The little ones and granny, River's crossing, and TALLOW

you know, that guy who is sitting in the blue mushroom smoke massage spa? He would -really- like to know the dramatae are dead

>>26333830
don't worry, we're doing what a paladin is SUPPOSED to do with spy games this time.

Dropping in on them and ruining their plans. Literally.

>>26333367
I thought it was illegal for any Phoenix Empire citizen to fly except for the emperor himself?

As Mage works, you discover that your role as a Paladin has new duties. Primarily keeping this army from destroying itself before it can destroy the Empire's.

Every Paladin has a roll. Avery keeps people endlessly occupied and distracted with construction. Balles keeps people moving from front to front and handling logistics. Toll 'motivates' the fresher recruits, mostly by swearing at them and 'nearly missing' them when she gets really irritated. Kincaid...well you still haven't met the elf, but from the sounds of the explosions, you guess that he's good for morale. Julian's job is to be the scariest motherfucker there can be. And as for you...you have the unenviable job of being piece maker.

There's no end to the cross-species issues. The minotaurs get touchy when people get near their camps, the elves get into arguments with humans who were still pissed off about the First Wood coup, Mer insanity is an endless explanation of misunderstandings especially with the exactingly logical harpies, and then there's the orcs. His Light have mercy, there's the orcs.

(cont)

>>26333982
After settling the last argument, which for once just ended in bruises, you head back to your own camp. You hear Mage and Sophie talking as they work on the apparatus.

Sophie's Spell-shooter uniform is actually quite...dramatic. A half cloak, over a full cloak, gloves, and a wide brimmed hat with a stiff flat top. She also has a set of green glass spectacles on her eyes. Her colors are dark greens and browns and she's had a growth spurt from the last time you saw her. She looks good, and if that rune covered rifle on her back, and pistol at her side, are any indications, exceptionally lethal.

You idly wonder if she was always going to be like this, or there mere fact that she's got romantic feelings for Mage causes His Light or the Universe as a whole to conspire to make her more powerful.

"Soph," Mage says. "I need a right HEKA resonance gem of a lower variance than 6 thaumic pulse."

"I've got a 3 or a 3-Variant." She says.

"3-Variant."

They continue to magic babble for a bit. Then Sophie pauses and grabs Mage's hand. "Mage, can we talk?"

"Soph, how many times do we have to do this thing. I don't...It's just...We're both young...I like your hat." He says.

"It's not about that." She says. "Mage, I'm worried about you...all of you. You guys aren't...if this works..."

"Soph, just spit it out." Mage says.

"People are starting to worship you. All of you." She says.

You hear a snap as Mage slips on something. "WHAT?!"

>>26333982
oh god we got the worst possible role

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>>26333982
>Then there's the orcs.

>>26334000
okay I said we got the worst role before but NOW we really got the worst role

>>26334000
I thought we were cursed more then worshipped.

Though it kinda makes sense. The only things that can kill a God is other Gods.

>>26334000
*facepalm hard*

>>26334000
This just keeps getting better!

>>26334000
Stop idling wondering about sophie's level of power in relation to mage's swag.
Start listening in on this "us getting worshipped" issue.
Since that's the kind of thing I don't really think is appropriate. I mean, that's like worshiping a priest instead of the god he tells you is backing him.

>>26334000
Better they worship us than whatever abominations dwell in the heavens.

>The Snake becomes the Light

>>26334065
And dragon brain sets in

>>26334075
It never really set out.

Rolled 14

>>26334000
But we don't want to be worshiped. If anything should be blamed for our success it's the light's providence.

>>26334065
no dragon brain, remember how much we didn't want to be king? because it's a lot of work?
that goes TRIPLE for not wanting to be god!
We will line up some patsy to do the job for us. Like the light.

>>26334000
Giggle from the tent-door, to indicate your presence. Then motion for her to continue.

>>26334086
The Light is Ssen's answer to being worshipped. Mage invents time travel, Ssen goes back and begins the Light Cult. A couple aeons later Ssen palms the responsibility of god hood on the manifested spirit that comes with all that belief.

>>26334119
I would 100% prefer if we never even touched on time travel.

>>26334119
Creative solution, though we have no evidence for or against it ever having happened.

Also, we wouldn't even need to come back forward in time. We could just pull a Bender and wait it out in a basement somewhere.

>>26334105
Giggle? More like a hissing chortle.

>>26334188
yes. Hissing chortle it is.
>>26334161
>wait it out in a basement
I have a tower in mind

>>26334161
That sounds like a really good way to go totally insane.

Moreso, I mean.

>>26334218
not if we hibernate mostly.

Rolled 13

>>26334154
I agree fully.

>>26334154
I hate time travel, so I agree with this

>>26334154
>>26334250
Yes. No causing our own existence unless somebody tries to prevent our existence, thereby forcing us to cause it.

>>26334000
I believe the general consensus is to lurk and/or hissgiggle while waiting for them to continue talking.

>>26334265
Ah my favorite type of paradox.

>>26334048
You face palm and wait a little.

"Seven ages, for seven ages people worshipped the Light, and...nothing happened. People had lives of work and toil and death, Citadel had the good life, and the Lightbringers came and died. Then you and Her came...and in a year everything's changed. And now we live in a world of chaos and change and people are making new lives, new fortunes, new species, and well...the land is all but unrecognizable now. Now we have the orcs talking about how you helped them kill a God." She shrugs. "We prayed to His Light, and we receive nothing. People are turning to the Dawnchasers now. They pray to you, and you change the world."

You hear a rhythmic thudding noise. Mage is banging his head against Wagon. "Please, PLEASE tell me you aren't one of them." He says.

Sophie chuckles. "Mage, honey, if you were a God who had the power to change anything you wished I think you'd first cha-"

"Okay, okay, OKAY!" Mage says.

So... ideas on what to do with the Dawnchaser cult?

"Lea is going to throw a fit. "

"I might just join her."

Rolled 1

>>26334331
"Lea is going to hate this."

So two things:

1. They are probably talking about Mage's manhood.
2. We're gonna trade for some more orc booze after this.

>>26334331
"See, this is why I think we need one of them there disambiguation books. A good majority of that was done on accident, and citadel faked being the light for ages.

Besides, the light sends intermediaries to answer prayers. That's one of its main selling points- it won't usually interfere with you directly.

>>26334350
go tell them to stop being so silly.
If you have time to be a cult, you CERTAINLY have time to go make some wicker baskets, or chop some wood, or invent vaccines, or whatever your job is you crazy peasants.

>>26334331
Oh god.

OH GOD

Ssen is *literally* Lucifer, now. We shine so brightly that people turn away from god and bow before us.


>"Those who see you stare at you, they ponder your fate: 'Is this the man who shook the earth and made kingdoms tremble, the man who made the world a wilderness, who overthrew its cities and would not let his captives go home."

>>26334403
>intermediaries

I don't think we have any business saying how the Light works. It might cause a schism.

>>26334443
ffffffuck I didn't notice that
Ssen: Be the satan. Mostly on accident.

>>26334438
>"Only a truly humble god would ask us to stop worshipping them!"
>"ALL HAIL THE SERPENT!"

>>26334470
Stop all this nonsense!
Stop this instant!
I swear to the light I will get balles in here and he will fine all of you so bad your heads will spin

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>>26334470
>"Wait, what are you doing?"
>"Averting my eyes, oh Lord."

>>26334443
So, when is the Light going to cast us into the pit?

Given how hard we're mantling fucking Lucifer Morningstar, it's only a matter of time.

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Oh man, i had a dream about this the other night. We made it to the site near the citadel dome and it was (unsurprisingly) a trap. Except it wasn't the usual kind of trap we encounter. They fired on our position with artillery.

The shell was made up of a brillite brought from PE lands for them to pierce the dome much as we wanted to.

>>26334538
well Lucifer was cast down for the sin of pride... but we aren't exactly trying to take Light's place.

>>26334563
is it so much to ask to just want a simple headmaster-ish position with most of our responsibilities dumped on our assistant?

Not a king or god or something.

>>26334563
But we do have rather a lot of pride.

Dragon brain makes sure of that much.

>>26334626
yeah, but it's countered in large part by sloth.

>>26334626
That, and the way /tg/ has run Ssen.

>>26334649
Really? You'd think that being proactive enough to go out and bitchslap two separate gods would be enough to show that we don't really have much sloth.

> mfw not even the Light saw this coming.

We are active... we just don't have that much ambition. All we really want is to be a Paladin and maybe teach in the future.

>>26334704
>it turns out the Light did see this coming
>HIS is too Citadel corrupted to suit the Light's needs
>the Light is trying to get Ssen to use Lea to bring the true faith back to the people
>Lea is being groomed to become the next HIS

>>26334691
and the ENTIRE WAY we have been fantasizing about retiring, a day off, or anything like that. Our long term goals are almost entirely centered around making it so we can go take a nap for a few years without anything exploding.
>>26334704
We don't shout "for the light" enough apparently.

>>26334732
But if we were as lazy as you imply, we wouldn't have just been fantasizing, we'd have literally said "Don't wanna" and stayed in bed when the north came-a-calling.

>>26334470
"Look, I bleed, I can't be a god!"

"SHE NURTURES THE VERY SOUL WITH HER OWN LIFE'S BLOOD! TRULY SHE IS A WORTHY GOD!"

Also? Ssen is immortal. So yeah. Good luck convincing people she isn't a god.

>>26334765
there's a difference between having a lot of sloth and giving in to the sloth.
>>26334773
Look, seriously, my blood is poison, I'm not doing any kind of nurturing here. That ground is probably toxic now.

Also, I worship the light! Come on! It's not hard!

>>26334773
>finally have children

"HER AVATAR JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A NEW REINCARNATION OF HER AS HER OLD BODY WAS NO LONGER SUITABLE"

>>26334331
Go get lea, then join mage in banging your heads against the wagon

"Lea is going to hate this." You say. "She's going to throw a fit, and I might join her."

The other two start slightly as you enter the camp.

"Hey Ssen." Mage says, going back to work.

"Lady Paladin Patrick." Sophie says with a little bow. "Umm, did you hear our conversation?"

"This is why I think we need one of them there disambiguation books. A good majority of that was done on accident, and Citadel faked being the Light for ages.

"Besides, the Light sends intermediaries to answer prayers. That's one of its main selling points- it won't usually interfere with you directly."

Sophie shifts her shoulders. "I suppose. But people wa-"

"No." You say. "You tell those people to stop that nonsense. This instant, or I swear to His Light, that I will get Balles and he will fine every last one of them so harshly that their heads will spin."

Sophie shrugs. "I'm not the one who's about to make a wagon fly."

"Anyway, talk of deification aside," Mage says. "We should be able to fly by tomorrow night. Lea and I are going to paint Wagon."

Crisis of faith time! More in other peoples faith and our ability to lead them to it than in or own faith in the Light.

SEEK LEA'S GUIDANCE ASAP!

>>26334729
>>it turns out the Light did see this coming
>>HIS is too Citadel corrupted to suit the Light's needs
>>the Light is trying to get Ssen to use Lea to bring the true faith back to the people
>>Lea is being groomed to become the next HIS
...yep.

>>26334732
>We don't shout "for the light" enough apparently.
Second.

>>26334858
Oooh, how about red? I heard it makes things go faster!

>>26334858
>paint the wagon
"Oh, can you paint some wings on there? Me and Tricia have this wing joke going on, she's gonna hate it, it'll be great."

>>26334858
"Stripes or flames?"

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>>26334811
"And lo, the soil of this wicked land was too impure for our god's holy blood to heal, and was smote for the sins of its' base inhabitants!"

>Meanwhile, in The Light
>"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

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>>26334858
Needs teeth.

>>26334903
Doesn't it literally have wings?

Isn't the Light just a set of teachings, in the end? Does it really require worship to be the Light?

As long as the people who think we're a god follow the teachings, things should be fine, right?

The people have some pretty valid points and they're likely going to end up worshiping us no matter what we do. At the very least we should make it clear that we're subordinate to the Light. Better a Messiah than a subversive false god, right?

>>26334936
Dragon Brain pls go

>>26334951
But Ssen specifically as the messiah would invite war with HIS's little city state.

It'd be better if Lea was the messiah. She's the best suited for arguing theology.

>>26334951
But claiming to be the Messiah is hubristic, when we don't HAVE a direct-phoneline to the Light.

Also, remember Proto-Christianity? It started out all flowers and crucifixion, but then they started having Crusades and Philosociding the Gnostics, and wiping out Byzantium....

>>26334858
"Oh man, so you're going to give is great gouts of fire along the side?

>>26335023
>>26334927
>>26334907
Ssen forgets this is a sneaking mission.

>>26335017
I think our stance should be:

Look. Guys. I hardly have any idea what I'm doing. I work for the light, and do as best as I can. I have no idea if I'm doing right.

>>26335050
"Lo, our Lord chooses not to share her glorious divine plan with us! Truly, we are unworthy! BEGIN THE SELF-FLAGELLATION!"

>>26334936
>As long as the people who think we're a god follow the teachings, things should be fine, right?
Lets not go there. Idol worship lies that way.

In the most simplistic form we are a tool. You need wood and nails to build an House and a hammer to put them together. We're a hammer.
A hammer can also be used to break things. We do that too.

>>26335043
In Ssen's mind, we will have giant mechanical glinting wings flapping on either side of the wagon while blaring rockets pull us forward and we streak across the sky in a blaze of glory

I am looking forward to the profound dissapointment when we just sort of lazily drift in a balloon.

>>26334988
>>26335017
I'm not saying go out and be like "I am a physical representation of your god," I'm saying let the people reach their own conclusions as long as they still follow the Light. Maybe they call us a Saint, maybe they call us a Messiah, just don't have them call us a god.

>>26335050
But that just paints you as the unwilling and humble messiah and stops nothing.

If we point to Lea and say "She's the one who's helping the Light grant me so many miracles," then it takes the burden off us and onto someone who can actually argue in religious terms.

>let people reach their own conclusion
That's what they've been doing.

>>26335063
No stop stop all this self-flagellation, nobody likes that.
Except for lea I guess.
Okay, only continue the self flagellation if you like that kind of thing and are doing it properly, but otherwise don't.

AND THERE'S NO GREAT PLAN I KEEP TELLING YOU

>>26335017
But we're immortal, we can just tell them they're doing it wrong from time to time

"Oh, can you paint some wings on there? Me and Tricia have this wing joke going on, she's gonna hate it, it'll be great." You say.

Mage chuckles. "You know, she DID...never mind."

"Yeah, umm...Lady Patrick..." Sophie blushes. "While the Spell-Shooters fully support...I mean Ulric is...but...I..."

"When you and Tricia babble, could you two not SING about it." Mage says. "That's what she's talking about, and why the Paladins are being very polite to the pair of you."

"Did you hear about this?!" A voice says. You turn and see Lea and Tricia coming up to you. Tricia is holding a large bundle of flowers, plants, and decorated sticks.

Lea looks pissed. "This is...you can't...Ghaaaa!" She punches Wagon in the side. She sighs. "Hello Sophie, I like your hat."

Peace will be PLEASED about this

>>26335064
But likewise, a tool does not care if people praise it rather than it's creator or the craftsman who uses it.

In the end, whether they are worshipping us or the Light, it is still the teachings of the Light that they are following.

I'm not saying we should be happy about it, I'm just saying that we shouldn't be unhappy about it either.

>>26335107
Ahhhh, they'd bugger it up anyway.

>>26335102
"Our lord truly has no great plan... SHE'S JUST IMPROVISING IT ALL! TRULY A FEAT WORTHY OF OUR GOD!"

>>26335119
"I've heard about some things, but nothing to do with...flowers?
Tricia, do I have to compete with some suitors?"

>>26335102
>self-flagellation
I though Lea was dom, not sub?

>Hello Sophie, I like your hat
That must be a very nice hat

>>26335119
It IS a nice hat. I wonder when I get Granny to teach me magic I can get one of my own.

And yes I heard. I don't want to be a god!

>>26335119
"I just heard myself. Also Tricia's hat is better."

>>26335175
Pretty sure she's just a straight masochist.

>>26335190
second claiming it's a nice hat.
>>26335119

Because it's a very nice hat. Ssen is secretly jealous because she has to wear a circlet.

>>26335119
"I'm afraid you've lost me."

Making people explain embarrassing things when you have absolutely no sense of shame is always fun.

>>26335119
"So what you're saying is that my aunt and uncle didn't see nothing, like you guys said, but instead saw EVERYTHING?"

go back to panicking.

Rolled 16

>>26335119
Are we throwing the fit about people worshiping us? Can I join? If anyone should be blamed for our success it's the Light's Providence.

>>26335119
"It is a very nice hat. And if you're referring to us being worshiped, yeah. Admiration and respect are nice, but being worshiped... that's not gonna fly."

"Unlike Wagon, apparently."

>>26335119
"Cultists gonna cult.

Pretty sure telling them that I'm not god is just going to make them think I'm a very humble god. I say give 'em the teachings to follow and then ignore 'em."

"So what you're saying is that my aunt and uncle didn't see nothing, like you guys said, but instead saw EVERYTHING?" You whisper to Mage.

"More like HEARD." He says.

You groan and turn to Lea.

"It is a very nice hat. And if you're referring to us being worshiped, yeah, I just found out myself. Admiration and respect are nice, but being worshiped... that's not gonna fly. Also, I've heard about some things, but nothing to do with...flowers?

"Tricia, do I have to compete with some suitors?" You ask.

"This was an offering." Tricia says. "WE thought it was just a nice gift, and then...well...be glad I was there to drag Lea away."

"I still say they need some sense beaten into them." Lea grumbles.

"You know they'd just take it as some rite or blessing or some foolishness." Tricia says.

"Hey guys." Peri/Mari says. "Hey Sophie, nice hat." Mari says. "Anyway, I was trying to plot our flight path, and I actually think that we'd be safer if we swung over the Citadel Dome and...what's with the Offering Root?" She gestures to Tricia's bundle.

>>26335477
"People are worshiping us now."

>>26335477
"we're gods now"

And the problem is they aren't going to stop just because we say so.

>>26335477
"Oh, we're getting offerings now.

Care to join me, lea, and mage in banging our heads on wagon?"

>people realize we're lesbian
"THE GOD-SERPENT HAS DECLARED HETEROSEXUALITY A SIN"
>humanity goes extinct in one generation

>>26335618
the thing is we aren't even HARD LESBIANS
I mean, we were attracted to robin. And we've had MANY a stray thought about hot naga bods.

We just can't find any.

>>26335618
it seems we're more bi in a lesbian realtionship.

>>26335644
Aye, we're more sorta "Anything We Like."

Though probably not to the extent of good ole King Issun Shagsalot.

>>26335477
"Long story short, people are worshiping us now. We'll deal with it after we get back from risking our necks AGAIN. I don't want any of us going in unfocused."

>>26335644
>we tell them that
"THE GOD-SERPENT DEMANDS A HAREM OF ATTRACTIVE MALES OF ALL SPECIES "

tell me if I'm being annoying

Rolled 15

>>26335674
He's struck me as pretty damn hetero

>>26335691
its more like anything that's biologically female

Wonder if he would like Nikolai before she changed herself up

>>26335691
Please. He just hasn't met anyone sexy enough. I mean, let's list off the male characters we've met: Julian, Trisch's Dad, The Dramatae, The Three Malcontents of Citadel, Balles, Kingfisher, and The Old One.

Not a whole lot of choice there.

>>26335644
>>26335657
If we want to live a long life, then yes. We're basically stuck in lesbians. Though we're certainly not straight.

"People are worshiping us, we're Gods now. And the problem is they aren't going to stop just because we say so." You say.

"Oh." Peri says. "Okay."

"Okay? OKAY?!" Lea says. "This is a travesty! We're violating one of the core principles of The Teachings, and drawing people away from His Light."

"Then steer them back." Peri says. "Say that we're His servants or avatars or whatever sounds good. Then say that we want people to worship His Light, and that will please us."

"This isn't just another elven con!" Lea snaps. "This is important."

>>26335686
just a little, mostly because it's eating up precious postcount.

I love the discussion, I hate the threads dying early and rushing echo.

>>26335728
You forgot mage.

lets not forget at one point he was pretty enough for artists to make a girl

>>26335477
"We apparently have a cult now. Killing gods for a living makes people think you're powerful enough to be worthy of their devotion. Who knew?

Dragon likes the attention, but at the same time I know this is wrong and we need to find a way to get the message across."

File: 1375223830497.png-(505 KB, 696x826, Monday for Mage.png)

505 KB PNG

>>26335728
Oh, and Mage, winner of the "Predatory Female's Target of the Year Award."

Rolled 18

>>26335734
I think we might want to talk to granny about this one

>>26335734
"Worst part is I don't want to just tell people to worship the light, I want to convince them to. Very slight, but important, difference.

Maybe I'll just start yelling 'for the light' when I'm about to do something crazy. That might fix everything."

>>26335734
"Lea, I agree with you entirely. Peri, trying to steer them back is a good plan."

"But we're about to go fly a magical Wagon to rescue our friends from an enemy army that may be trying to somehow use Citadel against us. And I'd really rather we think about ways to not get killed right now."

>>26335775
>>26335728
Oh come on there's plenty more. Avery. Tallow. Glass assassins. The male comedic relief of the glass assassins. The butcher. That carpenter. I could go on.

"Lea, I agree with you entirely. Peri, trying to steer them back is a good plan." You say. "But, I don't want to just tell people to worship the light, I want to convince them to. Very slight, but important, difference. Maybe I'll just start yelling 'for the light' when I'm about to do something crazy."

"So, you'll be saying that every other hour, then?" Mage says. "OW!" He rubs his shoulder where Lea punched him.

"But we're about to go fly a magical Wagon to rescue our friends from an enemy army that may be trying to somehow use Citadel against us. And I'd really rather we think about ways to not get killed right now." You say.

"Right." Mage says. "Well, might as well do a test run." He hands Sophie a rope. "Don't let go."

She nods.

"Okay, everyone into Wagon, I need to calibrate the weight." He says.

"So this will get us into the air?" Peri asks as you all climb in.

"Well, hopefully right now, just about five feet or so, maybe less." Mage says. "Or it could just blow up, or shoot us up in the sky so far and so fast that we'll all instantly suffocate, and then freeze solid, right before before we crash back to the ground. Although I'm not sure on the sequence of that."

"Mage," Tricia says. "Talk less sometimes."

"Alright, alright. Here we go." He closes his eyes and twists a knob on the apparatus.

Roll 1d20

>>26335730
i wouldn't be surprised, snakes are a species that has men posing as women alot to fuck the mating female.

Rolled 16

>>26335969
ROLL OF JUSTICE

Rolled 19

>>26335969
ROLLAN

Rolled 6

>>26335969

>>26335924
At least two of those were Malcontents, the Assassins are all dead. I don't even remember who Tallow was.

Also, the Orc Chief counts, but none of our Orc friends count because they got nuked.

Rolled 4

>>26335969
"You know, I was certain we'd be fine until just MOMENTS ago, mage."

>>26336000
Based anon

>>26335969
Oh yeah, and Echo, I just jumped in, and this is going FANTASTICALLY. This is hilarious.

God tier Quest Master: Echo.

>>26336011
Tallow was the old druggy guy who used to help our dad. Hung out in the blue-smoke taverns.

>>26336011
oh, so they don't count if they died at some point? A shame.

Also tallow is the OTHER surviving member of our dad's group. Sitting in bronze peak.

>>26336011
We used nonlethal on most of the Assassins

>>26335969
"Wait wait wait why do WE have to be on here can't we just put some weights of approximately our size on here and-"

Be cut off by flying into the air

>>26336011
>>26336105
yeah, the assassins are totally alive. Balles was going to put them to work doing... something. We never found out what.

And they are going to spread the story of how a snow-colored snake lady jumped them, too.

>>26336137
Snow colored? But white coloration is a sign of Corruption!

>>26336170
we were in camo at the time. It made us black and white like the snowy mountains.

>>26336000
"You know, I was certain we'd be fine until just MOMENTS ago, mage." You say.

Wagon jolts shifts, bucks slightly, and lifts up off the ground.

"By His Light..." Sophie says. Then she breaks into a giant smile. "It worked!"

"Okay, okay." Mage says. "Lowering...and we're good!"

Wagon touches down.

"So," A new voice says. "It works." You look up and you see a bald elf enter the camp. He's got a mantle and circlet on, and is dressed in light chain mail.

You all get out of Wagon. The elf walks towards you and gives you a little bow. "Lady Paladin Ssen Patrick, the Paladin Serpent. I am Lord Magus Kincaid, the Paladin Arcane." He looks at Sophie and Mage and smiles at them.

"And you two must be Mage and Sophia...the two most loathed magic users in the kingdoms." He says with a smile.

>>26336346
"Ah, I've been meaning to meet you! I hear you make the most wonderful explosions. And not much else.

Oh, and these two are loathed? Do tell, it's news to me."

>>26336346
Return a little bow, because I assume that's how these things go.

>>26336346
"Loathed?" You're just jealous.

>>26336346
"If you're here to see us off, you're early."

>>26336385
>>26336417
It probably has to do with fucking up easy citadel magic for everyone else. That or gun magic.

>>26336433
Probably. He shouldn't talk about Mage or Sophia so disparagingly, though. It's not they're fault they aren't corrupted.

>>26336346
*raise an eyebrow*
"Loathed? Why is it my brother and Sophie are so?"
*flick tongue in annoyance*

>>26336011
Tisgut ;_;7

>>26336456
>>26336433
guys guys I don't even know if that stuff is public knowledge yet

It SORT of is, but we haven't published a book on it yet.

"Ah, I've been meaning to meet you! I hear you make the most wonderful explosions. And not much else." You say. "Now, why are my brother and Sophie loathed? What did they do to you?"

"Nothing." Kincaid says. "Personally, I think you two are doing quite well. Just that I've been getting a bunch of letters and other contacts from some of the old guard. They go on and on about your dangerous ways and blasphemous practices blah blah blah." He shrugs. "They're not wrong, you UFK mages are one mistake away from sinking half the continent into the sea, but I doubt you're stupid enough to not realize that." He shrugs. "It's just tradition vs. innovation. Same story I've seen for years. Though this is the first time that innovation hasn't had a mysterious accident that blew up in their faces." He inspects the anti-grav device. "Think we could make another one of these? Set it to a wide area and crank up the power? I'd love to be able to toss people into space."

Hey, where's thread 79? did I miss it?

>>26336346
"You'd be the Paladin I haven't been introduced to yet. Speaking of magic users, would you mind if I asked where you draw your abilities from? Many seemed to lose much of their abilities once Citadel's corruption withdrew into the city itself. You seem no worse for wear."

>>26336656
"I prefer non-lethal whenever I can. Using the system in reverse seems like a great idea. Soldiers can't fight if they're pinned to the ground."

>>26336656
"Oh, you wizards and your terrifying weaponizations of utilitarian spells. Always warms my heart to hear such enthusiasm.
Mage please tell me that he can't toss people into space with this."
Think for a while
"Then tell me what space is, in fact."

>>26336665
it... seems to have dissapeared from sup/tg/.
So have this.
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/26272289/#26272289

>>26336656
>space

Eh?

>>26336656
"I like you."

>>26336733
>>26336783
We may not know the nuts and bolts of magical theory, but please don't assume that means we're completely scientifically illiterate.

Also, even if we had no concept of space, it bears no relevance to the situation at hand.

>>26336656
Flying battleships anyone?

I think Mage just made a new friend.

Mage really needs male friends ans Isen isn't that good of a male friend and Tisgut is dadoots.

>>26336832
But we have never heard of space. We've heard of a luminous aether, but not space.

>>26336656
"Could we apply it to the Leviathan? Maybe go ahead and crash it into Citadel?"

>>26336832
but we're pretty much village bumpkins. Tricia too.

We don't have the advantage of city-livin' all the other party members had.

>>26336732
Yes yes yes yes. I like this. As long as we don't squish them, this is a good idea.
A GREAT way to counter the enemy's flying stuff.

>>26336881
We do know advanced math thanks to weird brain shit.

Who knows what else we know about

>>26336864
You don't know what we might or might not know.
>>26336881
And we were raised by a Paladin, who was presumably not a bumpkin.

"Oh, you wizards and your terrifying weaponization of utilitarian spells. Always warms my heart to hear such enthusiasm.

"Mage please tell me that he can't toss people into space with this." You ask.

"Well..." He says.

"You know, I prefer non-lethal whenever I can. Using the system in reverse seems like a great idea. Soldiers can't fight if they're pinned to the ground." You say.

Kincaid shrugs. "I prefer to ensure that the people attacking you never come back to try again."

"A good way to counter the Empire's fliers." You say.

"True." He nods and looks at the apparatus. "HEKA resonance with Leyline draw? How to you compensate for the..." He goes off into a magic babble conversation with Mage and Sophie.

"So," Peri asks as she leads you away from the Mages who are talking shop. "Say that we can get Wagon up and over and not get shot down, or anything like that. So we land in the Empire's camp...then what? We are going in blind, and the moment they see you Ssen, they're going to sound the alarm. No chance we can pretend to be anything other than what we are."

>>26337005
"I'm hoping we land in the Kingfisher's tend. Should be able to wrap him and take him hostage."

>>26337005
"Honestly I had planned to ask the first person I saw in a forceful and yet polite tone where my neighbors are.
Then I'd go and find them, free them, get in the wagon and leave. Perhaps after telling kingfisher he is very rude."

Don't forget the snake and seven birds song.

>>26337005
"Do we really have to land IN the camp? Landing just outside, then moving fast and quiet sounded like a better plan."

"I mean, we're allowed to do subtlety once in a while, right?"

>>26337005
" That's the idea. We are going in so hard, so fast that they won't have any idea what they are going to do. We'll use their surprise against them. Of course, we do have our firebombs from the orcs and you do have that single bullet for a bigger boom if we need it."

>>26337005
"Find Kingfisher, tell him to cut his shit out, and then go get our friends. And then do... something, I guess? I figured we'd burn that bridge when we came to it."

"Honestly I had planned to ask the first person I saw in a forceful and yet polite tone where my neighbors are.

"Then I'd go and find them, free them, get in the wagon and leave. Perhaps after telling Kingfisher he is very rude."

"So we go in and attack them as hard and as fast as we can, maybe even take Kingfisher hostage, grab our people, and bolt?" Peri says.

"We'll also be using orc firebombs, and maybe Mari's last bullet. I was also kind of hoping to land Wagon on Kingfisher's tent." You say, nodding. "I also have a poem."

"Great." Mari says. "Well, sounds about as good as our usual plans."

"Well, if we get a chance at subtlety, we'll take it." You say. "But mostly the plan is to burn the bridges when we get to it."

"And by bridges you mean tents." Peri sighs. "Alright, so...you want to get ready for the raid, go see this cult of ours, or do anything else before the raid?"

>>26337208
Let's go see our cult.

>>26337208
"I WANT... to have some more orc mead and take a nap.

Let's go tell those cultists to knock out their garbage first though. And I should probably write to stone hall, I had planned to be back with souvenirs for the little ones by now."

>>26337208
"Everything looks ready, might as well check up on the cultists.

I'm unsure if i should be preparing some black or not."

>>26337208
>"And by bridges you mean tents." Peri sighs.

"Open to any suggestions for a better plan."

>>26337264
First part is a no. Second part wit the cultists is a maybe. Third part is a definitely.
>>26337276
Preparing doses of venom should also be a priority.

>>26337334
>>26337276
we don't really need to "prepare" our venom so much.

>>26337334
Well, if we can manufacture poison gas bombs it would be great. Since there's a bunch of trenches, let's go full World War One and drop chlorine gas all over the Phoenix Empire soldiers.

>>26337393
You do realize that dropping poison gas bombs in a HOSTAGE RESCUE mission is an insanely bad idea, right? The Russians learned that the hard way.

>>26337353
Yeah, well vomiting some black onto a few arrows might not be out of order.
>>26337393
I think we still need to debate the ethics of using poison gas bombs in quantity. It's difficult to control, and kills indiscriminately. Not exactly the most "Paladin-appropriate" tool at our disposal.

>>26337425
I was thinking we drop the gas bombs near the front lines rather than the camp, so we get a clear way to leave, clear of living Phoenix empire soldiers.

>>26337208
Are there any more of those rifles left? I'm guessing they're musket equivalents, but it'll still give us an edge.

>>26337425
For use on non-hostage rescue missions, sure. Maybe we can draft the other Lamia in order to make the process more expedient, plus some chemists to figure out how to make the gas last longer.

>>26337393
Speaking of World Wars, I'm getting the impression that especially with firearms being a thing, our spear might have fallen behind the times.

I wonder if we could have it re-forged into a gun barrel?

>>26337489
Or at least have one designed with similar materials?

>>26337489
Well, we could get a musket, attach a bayonet to it, and call it a day.

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>>26337489
Gunlance.

"Open to any suggestions for a better plan." You say.

"That's not our style." Peri says. "Our way is to make any workable plan and just adjust as things go. Planning is for insufferable twits and Gods, and look what we do to them."

"Alright, so let's see if we can knock some of that cultist garbage out of people's heads." You say. "Also, I should write to Stone Hall. I had planned to be back with souvenirs for the little ones by now." You say.

"The little brats adore you." Peri says. "Bring them painted rocks and they'll take them."

You shoot Peri a look, but she's unrepentant.

You arrive at the 'Shrine of Dawn.' It's not as bad as you thought it could be. A painting of you, one that's fairly accurate and in proper armor, and smaller ones of the others. They're candles, incense, a few coins, and other mild offerings.

There's people sitting by the shrine and praying to it, silently.

"So," Peri whispers. "How many years before you think they're sacrificing people to us?"

"Not funny." Mari says.

>>26337578
>barrel breaks open
>cylinder is behind the hinge
This is the most retarded weapon I've seen all week.

>>26337481
You do realize that one of the main reasons nobody uses airborne chemical agents any more is because their spread really freaking hard to control? One change in the wind direction and and suddenly that shit is on top of you, or maybe there's no wind and it just settles there, basically trapping you.

>>26337590
"it isn't funny, you got to start with animals first."

>>26337546
Or we could use a slender Arquebus as the spear-shaft and mount Beacon's metallic point like a bayonet.

It'd be damn hard to balance, but it could be made to work.

>>26337590
"Even if it was funny, don't joke about it, they might hear you and start doing it."

"Hey you, uh people. Can you cut it out with all of this? It's kind of wierding me out."

>>26337590
"If I can help it, Never."

"Alright, Which among you is the mastermind behind this?" Go ask around the cultists and get him to stop this shit.

>>26337709
Too forceful. Let's be respectful for now and break it to them slow.

>>26337590
Find the guy in charge, have a talk about how this really goes against the teachings of the light. It's flattering, but seriously misguided.

>>26334563
Tell that to the "KILL GOD!" idiots fagging the place up.

>>26337590
"You know, this isn't quite as bad as I thought. Still doesn't set a good precedent, but at least it's not totally out of control yet."

"So, really? This isn't going to work, people. If you want to pray FOR us, that's fine. But please remember to believe in the Ideal, not the Idol."

>>26337733
But we SHOULD kill gods! But only the bad ones... The Fifth, Citadel, the Dark Man, the Dark Peaks guy, and possibly that Phoenix Empire fear-based version of Citadel.

We DO kill gods... But only the bad ones.

>>26337781
we have yet to kill a single god factually, and they're more land spirits than gods.

We should really label things more accurately

"If I can help it, Never." You say. "And it isn't funny, you got to start with animals first. Even if it was funny, don't joke about it, they might hear you and start doing it."

You slither out into the clearing and clear your throat. "Alright, which among you is the mastermind behind this?"

There's a flurry of activity, some gasps and murmurings, exited exclamations and a few people dropping to their knees before you.

A girl with (badly) dyed red hair comes before you and drops to her hands and knees. "I am...I am the speaker of your truths and Teachings."

"Okay," You say. "Can you cut it out with all of this? It's kind of wierding me out."

She gasps and looks up at you. "Have...have we displeased you? Do you wish us to do more?"

"Ask about tithes!" Peri whispers.

"Shut UP!" Mari snaps and puts a hand over their mouths.

"speaking as a devout following of the light, no. No I do not want you to do more."

Rolled 5

>>26337813
If anyone is to blame for my successes it's the Light's Providence. Worship that!

>>26337813
"Oh get up girl, there's no need for all this. I'm no divine incarnate or... I honestly have no idea what you're claiming I am over here, but I'm probably not it. Heck, I'm a worshiper of the light even.
Basically what I'm saying is if you want me to do something, you're infinitely better off making a suggestion box than praying to me. For starters, I can actually read a suggestion box, I don't have some magical spying device for prayers."

>>26337813
"I want you to stop worshiping me! All of you! I am not a god!"

>>26337813
"I am just a humble servant of the light. What I wish is not important. What's important is that you follow the teaching of the light."

>>26337813
"Feel free to pray FOR us, but kindly don't pray TO us. Because we can't magically hear prayers. We're just people doing the best we can."

"If you really want to make me proud, follow that example. Do the best you can. Respect the rights of others. And most of all, judge others by their deeds, not their beliefs. I'm asking this of you not as a God or whatever, but as a Paladin."

"Do you understand?"

>>26337813
>peri and Meri fighting
This must look so creepy to everyone who isn't part of our little group.

Also, lets remember to archive this thread. The last one wasn't archived.

>>26337979
nah. Don't tell them directly to follow the light, just leave it open.

Just, you know, I follow the light, I don't see why you would give up the light in such a way.

"Speaking as a devout following of the light, no. No I do not want you to do more." You say. "I want you to stop worshiping me! All of you! I am not a god!"

The girl bows again. "You are so humb-ah!" She shouts as you pull her to her feet.

"Oh get up girl, there's no need for all this. I'm no divine incarnate or...I honestly have no idea what you're claiming I am, but I'm not it.

"I'm a worshiper of His Light. If anyone is to blame for my successes it's His Light's Providence. What I wish is not important. What's important is that you follow the Teachings of His Light.

"Basically what I'm saying is if you want me to do something, you're infinitely better off making a suggestion box than praying to me. For starters, I can actually read a suggestion box, I don't have some magical spying device for prayers." You say.

"Oh...yes...please forgive us." She says. "We only wished to please you and bless you so that your changes to our world would continue to be blessing upon us."

"Lea's 'His Light as a lottery' peeve again." Mari says.

"Feel free to pray FOR us, but kindly don't pray TO us. Because, again, we can't magically hear prayers. We're just people doing the best we can.

"If you really want to make me proud, follow that example. Do the best you can. Respect the rights of others. And most of all, judge others by their deeds, not their beliefs. I'm asking this of you not as a God or whatever, but as a Paladin.

"Do you understand?" You ask.

The girl nods. "Do...do you want us to take down your shrine?"

>>26338094
"I don't want you to take down the shrine, I just don't want it to be my shrine."

>>26338094
"No i don't. I don't want a shrine or anything like it."

>>26338094
"Do whatever you want. But yeah, please take down this Shrine. And keep this in mind, It doesn't take a god to change the world. "

>>26338094
"I'd much appreciate that. Sorry for bursting your bubble, but I am certainly no deity. If I was, there wouldn't be such thing as snow.

Oh, and that's a great picture you have there. I've seen a few pictures of myself, and this one is one of the more accurate. They always give us all these huge... never mind, it's not important.

Oh, and I wasn't joking about a suggestion box or something. I really don't have time to go out and talk to people and find out what problems there are, maybe send me a letter or something if things are dire somewhere. Never know when the next cannibal plague or ghost explosion will happen.

How can we make it up to these guys? They're clearly good at heart and we don't want them to be demoralized.

>>26338308
we could...

offer rides on the snaketrain.

>>26338308
Once this whole war thing is cleared out, I'd suggest recruiting a few into the Clear.

>>26338094
"Oh cheer up you lot, it's not the end of the world. Take it as a show of exactly what a mortal can do if they put their minds to it. "

"Do whatever you want. But yeah, please take down this Shrine, or at least make it NOT dedicated to me or my friends. I don't want anything like that. Although that's a great picture you have there. I've seen a few pictures of myself, and this one is one of the more accurate. They always give us all these huge... never mind, it's not important.

"And keep this in mind, It doesn't take a god to change the world." You say. "Oh, and I wasn't joking about a suggestion box or something. I really don't have time to go out and talk to people and find out what problems there are, maybe send me a letter or something if things are dire somewhere. Never know when the next cannibal plague or ghost explosion will happen."

You leave once you watch the cultists take the shrine apart. You sigh and give them a smile.

"Young, foolish, kids." Peri says. "Well, what do you think the odds are that we'll have to do this again over the years?"

Your ears pick up the girl saying something to her 'flock.'

"And remember, we are not to build shrines to the Serpent of Dawn, but rather keep her and her Light as shrines within our heart! She wishes our spirits to shine by our deeds, not rituals or pictures with candles. Blessed be the Lady of Dawn and the Light that she brings!"

Oy.

>>26338123
Thisssss

>>26338387
Ehhhhh.

Good enough.

>>26338387
we should just... make leaflets. They will state plainly:

"I am not a god. Please stop saying that I am a god. It is very embarrassing and my friends laugh at me for it."

>>26338387
"Lea, if I told you to solve this problem, how many of them exactly would you have to punch? Just out of curiosity."

>>26338387
"Oi! I can still hear ya! Cut that shit out!"

>>26338460
this.

>>26338460
that's hilarious and we should probably do it. maybe less swearing, mostly because I don't want to seem angry with these people, since they'll take it the wrong way.

>>26338387
"Wrong way around! The Light brings me!"

>>26338387
Honestly? This works. They're following the teachings, that's all that matters.

"Oi! I can still hear ya! Cut that shit out!" You snap. "Ugh. I should make notices. 'I am not a god. Please stop saying that I am a god. It is very embarrassing and my friends laugh at me for it.' Something like that."

"I still say it'd be a good way to get money for the Arma and Schola orders." Peri says.

"And I still say you keep thinking that and I'll make you regret it." Mari says

You get back to camp. Kincaid has left, and Mage and Sophie are chatting about Magic Babble over the fire.

Tricia and Lea look up at the pair of you.

"We just checked out our worshippers." Peri says. "It's like six or seven dumb kids with some candles."

Tricia lets out a sigh of relief.

Lea still shakes her head. "They start out like that. I trust you told them to stop that foolishness?"

"Yeah, Ssen gave them a talking to, but...eh..." Mari shrugs. "Think they heard what they wanted to hear, took down the shrine though."

"Lea, if I told you to solve this problem, how many of them exactly would you have to punch? Just out of curiosity." You ask.

"If it's just six or seven? Then I suppose six or seven." Lea says. "Maybe their parents too, for being such poor examples."

>>26338556
"I'm not sure you can beat the Faith out of a person that easily, if it was The Light and his Teachings never would've spread the way they did. At any rate, I've got some letter to write, what time is Wagon taking off?"

>>26338556
"You know, maybe save it for later. I'd rather not have our maiden flight prefaced by the beating of dumb kids.

speaking of, have we discussed the flightplan yet? Straight line towards their camp, shooting anyone who bothers us? Or something fancy?"

>>26338556
"Wait, if she died her hair in homage to me, does that mean SHE knows MY hair is died?

Oh no I thought nobody could tell"

>>26338656
seconding this

>>26338742
I think our hair has recovered

"I'm not sure you can beat the Faith out of a person that easily, if it was The Light and his Teachings never would've spread the way they did. At any rate, I've got some letter to write, what time is Wagon taking off?" You ask.

"We can actually take off later tonight, if you don't care for the paint job being super neat." Mage says. "Paladin Kincaid helped fine tune a few of the bugs."

Sophie shakes her head. "Can't believe you're actually doing this. Anyway, my shooters and I can draw fire with a raid while you're doing that. Get the Empire looking in a different direction."

"Alright, have we discussed the flightplan yet? Straight line towards their camp, shooting anyone who bothers us? Or something fancy?" You ask.

"That's my department." Mari says. She goes to her tent and gets a map and spreads it out on the ground. "We can try the straight shot plan, which is quick, but if we're spotted, we're going to be VERY unhappy, or we could try this route." She draws another plan. "This is a bit longer, and it goes over the Citadel Dome, like I said, but if we're spotted, we'll be out of range for the majority of the arrows, but if the magic fail or they get a lucky shot, we'll fall on top of the Dome, which I assume is a very bad thing."

"Unquestionably." Tricia says.

>>26338806
Eh, lets go over the dome, maybe we can spot why they are so interested in it.

>>26338387
....Fuck it, best we're gonna get.

File: 1375232997735.gif-(365 KB, 400x328, 1356594450039.gif)

365 KB GIF

>>26338806
>land on top of the citadel dome

>>26338806
"Can't we go... ALONG the dome? Does it have to be over it?"
Sigh exasperatedly when yes, it has to be over it
"Well, I guess we have no choice. If we fly straight there, those wacky cultists will see it and get all kinds of ideas. I suppose that means we'll take mari's route."

>>26338806
Let's strap Paladin Kincaid to the front of Wagon and have him rain annihilation down across the Phoenix Army.

Also, we should remember: WRITE DOWN THE DESIGNS TO THE FLYING WAGON.

This is important, in case we all get captured.

>>26338806
After these messages, we'll be right back.

>>26338894
Write them down, leave them at camp.

We cannot allow this shit to fall into Imperial hands.

>>26338806
>which I assume is a very bad thing
"We've encountered worse things. Which is all sorts of horrible if you think about its, so lets not."

>>26338919
...Actually, considering our comrades inability to keep an eye on the incredibly deadly traitor assassin spy-master in their midst and protect three of the most important people in our nation simultaneously, maybe we should give the plans to the Orcs instead.

>>26338963
We already gave the orcs magical nukes... and now you want to give them flying things to bomb our cities with.

>>26338806
DON'T GO OVER THE DOME. We still have Evil Bitch-sword remember? It'll just bullshit its' weigh into the engine compartment, in a GROSS violation of narrative causality, and cheat the airship into crashing.

>>26338894
Seconding the paladin Kincaid thing.

Cus it would be funny

>>26338982
The Orcs already would have figured out Magical Nuclear Physics sooner or later. We just gave them a little push. Hmmmm... Speaking of magical nukes, do the Orcs have any of those lying around? It would sure help the war effort if we deployed on on top of their HQ. Think of the blow to morale if their entire command staff was vaporized simultaneously in a catastrophic mile wide fireball. And then, a week later when they think it was a fluke, we deploy ANOTHER ONE!

They'll be off this continent in no time, I promise you that!

>>26339035
no thinking about nuking the place until AFTER we rescue the captives

>>26339035
I'm sure Kingfisher would be disappointed for our lack of tact.

>>26339092
Cmon, if we dropped it far enough away there's at least a 45% chance of survival, provided there's minimal Fallout.

>>26336665
Just use the link Echo supplied and look at the top of the page.

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>>26339128

>>26338986
As a sidenote, we ought to tie Soma to the bomb we use to open the dome up whenever we get around to it.

>>26338894
>Strap Paladin Kincaid to the front
DOOOOO EEEET

Or do this >>26339035

>>26338806
Let's go over the dome.

>>26339035
lets not nuke them just yet

>>26339244
Can we at least put the Magi-Nukes on Stand-by? I think we can all agree Phoenician dominance is a fate worse than dealing with the aftermath of a continent wide nuclear holocaust.

Come on, it's not very paladin-like to nuke all our problems. If we can get the PE to leave on their own at minimum cost of lives, then we should.

>>26339322
Most definitely. Nuking a city which has been reduced to a miles-wide shrine to an eldritch god of slavery and mutilation is one thing, but nuking a nation as a means of taking the easy way out is another entirely.

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>>26339035
Alternatively, it encourages the troops to fight harder. If we have to drop a magical nuke on them, we need to hit their mainland preferably after we've taken care of most of their military. It'll doubtlessly end the conflict and establish the UFK as the dominant power of the world.

>>26339483
But a world-wide hegemony is what some other alignment would want. Paladins are for keeping the peace.

>>26339560
>>26339483
I would really much prefer an equal partners outcome than UFK STRONK outcome.

>>26339560
It keeps the peace perfectly. Phoenix Empire gets spooked into submission and everyone else is basically told "don't be a dick or we'll come kick the shit out of you"

>>26339716
>"don't be a dick or we'll come kick the shit out of you"
More like, "don't be a dick or we'll come kick the shit out of you. So make sure if you don't want to end up like PE, you band together to fell the tyrant we've become."

This is a matter for later, though. We can hamstring the PE right now if we take Kingfisher.

While we're waiting:

It was a cool afternoon when I met her, and the faint breeze smelled like after-rain and pines and lavender. It gave me a knot in my throat, and an electric tingle not dissimilar to what I had felt as I had huddled against the heavy downpour and lightning during the storm that had just passed. The mountains and hills still echoed with thunder. The lavender in the field swayed gently, blown about by the wind. The stones had all the dust washed off them, and shone smooth in the sun as it fell through a gap in the clouds.

Her hair was wet, and I could see even at a distance there were drops glistening on her skin. They scattered the sunlight that passed through them in a display that would make some of the more zealous followers of the Light think they had seen a saint. Her head turned slowly. Her eyes narrowed.

She knew I was there.

>>26339834
I am preparing to not like this with the extreme disapproval of a father polishing his shotgun when being introduced to his daughter's boyfriend.

>>26339834

what is this sorcery

>>26339834
inb4 she brushed a lock of wheat-hued hair behin her ear, parted her velvety lips and called to me, "YO DICKBREATH! THE FUCK YOU WANT!?"

>>26339834
"The fuck are you staring at, dipshit?" Paladin Toll snapped at me. The air was so crisp that her voice carried effortlessly across the field between us, her words acting as a verbal slap across the face.

"Sorry, ma'am," I muttered.

"Fuck off back to the city, wanker," she called in reply. "You've got a Light-damned job to do, remember?"

Truly, a goddess among mortals.

>>26339483
Nah. I think we can just nuke the everloving hell out of their Continental Bases and scrap 20 years of military build-up in a spectacular military failure the world has never seen before, causing massive internal strife all over the Phoenix Empire as the Emperor loses favor and various warlords slaughter one another.

>>26339908
>>26339894
I was close.

>>26339908
Fatherl with a shotgun dissaproval: Rescinded.

I chuckled.

>>26339908

notbad.jpg

>>26339908
The smell of the city hung heavy in the hot, midmorning air. The smell of fish, of ocean brine, of the earth still clinging to vegetables. The sounds of merchants and inventors touting their wares, and the cries of gulls, and the distant sound of waves on the shore. Such was life in Stone Hall... and the vibrancy of life here was beautiful. And through it all, she passed. She was ancient and hardened, and had hid long beneath the streets of the city like a precious gem, only recently brought to the surface.

Her fluid movements left the cobbles brushed clear of dust after her passing, as the great serpentine coils of her body propelled her forward. When I caught sight of her eyes, I was vaguely reminded again of how old she was. No human eyes could give you that sense of timelessness. Her tongue flicked gently at the air as her head turned and those eyes fell heavily upon me.

>>26340329
Oh god this is gonna be funny

>>26340329

inb4 lamia brain derail.

"Do you smell cabbage?"

>>26338030
yea it was, just search lamia daughter quest tag, for some reason its at the very top of the listings instead of with the other ones from july.

>>26340329
"Don't you have work to be doing, fool?" Scheherazade asked with a frown. Her body coiled slightly behind her as she paused to address me.

"Yes, ma'am," I admitted.

"Well, get to it," she replied, just a hint of impatience creeping into her voice as she began to slither past me. As she did, the little ones followed her and made faces at me.

I can't do fun things anymore.

>>26340429
the story of ONE MAN

with ONE JOB

and NO ROMANCE

coming summer 2014

"Can't we go... ALONG the dome? Does it have to be over it?" You ask.

"We can, but it's the slowest route." Mari says. "If we're spotted taking the other two ways, we can get to the campsite quickly. But if we're spotted going that way, then by the time we get to a site were we'll be able to land, then the hostages will have been moved...or worse." She shrugs. "Still, if we're able to keep things silent, then it is an option."

>>26340429
oh lord do more

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>>26340429

Wait a goddamn minute. Is this Isen's POV?