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You are Ssen, a Lamia raised by a human Paladin who adopted you after killing the ones who birthed you. You are grown now, and Father has passed on. After a great deal of work, you have become a Paladin like your Father, and now take up his duties.

You are accompanied by your best friend from childhood, the insect druid Tricia; Mage, a magic user who ran away from his family of cannibal raiders known as the Ghouls (Yes, his name is Mage. It was his idea); Persephone, a 22-year old thief/ex-guerllia fighter (She goes by Peri), and Mari, a 13-year old prodigy scholar/now sniper, who has her mind and soul trapped within Peri's body; and Lea, a deeply religious musician/martial artist, trained by her father, a famous trainer for arena fighters, she's covered from her mouth down in bandages to hide the horrific state her body has become thanks to the 'cures' that saved her from cancer.

Your journey continues...

Opening theme song (NEW for Season 4!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3FKgL7YVFg

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Lamia%20Quest

1d4 chan page w/battle stats: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Quest:Lamia_Daughter_Quest
>>
The City if the Crafters is no more thanks to your efforts, and a really large bomb. The Ice God has been destroyed, or close enough to it. The Ice Sea is slowly starting to break up, letting the life cycle finally return to the North.

Best of all, there's a giant host of Orcs, close to 350,000 strong in number marching south to do battle with the Phoenix Empire's army.

Chief Garkat of the Red Wolf is your liaison between the orc leaders and yourself. So far things are pretty good. The orcs are looking forward to a good fight, especially for the chance to free and/or kill the Ettin. You're not exactly sure which is the bigger draw. There's been a few fights, but Garkat assures you that it's nothing but personal things between individual orcs. Though, it seems that things can get exceedingly personal, quite frequently. You hope that you still have enough orcs to face the Empire's army when you get there.

Also, you have to keep telling yourself that the fact that you're STILL outnumbered (Though not nearly as bad as it was before.) wont make a difference.

Finally, as the last piece of good news from your conquest of the North. (Where you are NEVER going again) you have enough raw brillitite to blow open the Citadel Wall. It's just a matter of when.
>>
>>26272294
Woo, lamia quest is back!
>350,000 orcs
Wow, we sure got a lot. I was thinking this would be a delaying maneuver at best, but we might have a chance.

We should send a carrier pidgeon ahead and get as many guns as possible prepared at the first allied city we are passing through. I want to pull a trade of gun-technology-for-all-your-slaves with the orcs later on, and we'll need some guns on hand for that. And a city to take all the refugees.
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I am so goddamned ready for Lamia Quest
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>>26272387
I'm not, I haven't even prepared a single snack.
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>>26272374
If Mumei has a functional version of her ornithopter ready, we ought to mass produce them and gather only the fucking craziest of gents/lasses together, that the Harpies might train them. So help me, Light, We shall have a musketoon&molotov-wielding airforce.
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>>26272294
>350000
Well the PE isn't gonna like this.
>>
>>26272374
>Guns4slaves
I think you forgot how Orcs work.

Orcs: "Here are slaves."
Us: "Here are guns."
*click*
Orcs: "We take slaves now."
>>
Ask about the humanization thing. We need to know if that's bullshit or not.
>>
>>26272374
You send that message and then go back to the campfire where you and the Dawnchasers are waiting. You should be back into the Northern Woods in three days and by the end of the week at the Wastelands/First Wood. Hopefully the town will have held by then and your arrival would be perfectly timed.

"So, are we taking our new friends to First Wood, or are we sending them back to the UFK?" Peri asks as she hands you a bottle of Orc Briar Mead. (The others think it tastes like shoe polish, you and Tricia think it tastes fantastic.) You don't exactly tell her that this has been your fourth bottle. Tricia is working on her third and is very giggly as she sings songs with Mage as Lea plays her lute.
>>
>>26272374
They'll just take more slaves with the guns.
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>>26272477
you forgot A. the treaty and B. we have a nuclear device.

Also, this will be a good chance to test if they're actually going to hold to the treaty without the threat of superexplosions.
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>>26272493
>Tricia giggly
>Eyes alive with laughter, blushing freckled cheeks.

Try not to HNNG and have a sober thought for a moment. If I remember correctly, the PE has already attacked and besieged a town, if so, we go straight there and slaughter them to the man then continue on the warpath.
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>>26272493
>fourth bottle
Haha, that's nothing, we're huge. I'm totally cool to drive.

"What, you mean Terry, Tammy, and Aya? Their call, really. Though I'm going to recommend very strongly to them that the UFK is the safest place to go, and do my best to fund their way there."
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>>26272514
>the treaty
So for the few years they keep it they'll have to take their slaves from other countries. Like the elves.
>we have a nuclear device
Which we need and can't use on the orcs.

Giving the orcs guns is a really really bad idea.
>>
>>26272557
Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhh. I thought Echo meant the Orc warband. Partially ignore >>26272547 then.
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>>26272547
God no, we're not marching on a city without siege weapons against a numerically superior force. Whenever we have a battle, we need to focus on flanking attacks as well as air superiority if we can get the harpies in on this.
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>>26272557
"Oh, Nakai's call too, though she's technically my eternal nemesis and not my friend."

forgot about her.

I assume skitter is a subsidiary of nakai and not its own entity.
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>>26272557
The not-lamia would probably do best in the UFK, and Terry+Tammy can go wherever they please. Terry would fit right in with HIS' nutjobs. Not sure what happened with our Crafter guest.

Not sure what to do with the warband. Taking them past the Elves might be a good plan. They've got the only standing army in Citadel Kingdom worth note.
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>>26272562
>>26272510
either way, having more guns around a city near the frontline can't be bad, regardless of if we give them to the orcs.

Though I really want them to stop doing that slave shit, I hate the idea of fighting alongside slavers. Logistically AND morally.
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>>26272594
What do we need siege weapons for? We're trying to defeat the siege, not start one.
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>>26272594
I meant to attack the besieging PE forces. If they've -taken- the city, then our assault shan't go beyond reconnaissance for the moment. Also I dunno about getting the Harpies in on this. There are so few living Harpies. They're in a fragile place with their species, so I'd relegate only 3 or 4 of them to the role of flight trainers and no more.
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>>26272493
>highly alcoholic and probably poisonous drinks

I hope we don't go blind!
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>>26272660
catapults and the like make infantry go squish.

Also i wonder if we'll have a visit from our dearest friend Kingfisher.
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>>26272667
yeah, let's avoid monstrous shock troops as best we can. The harpies are low in numbers, and lamias for SURE cannot make more lamias easily. Fucking 70 year reproductive cycle mang.
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>>26272679
We should put up a sign somewhere that just reads "HEY KINGFISHER, I KNOW YOU'RE SNEAKING AROUND, I WANNA TALK TO YOU, SEND ME A MESSAGE

-snake"

I mean he has spies. He'll know.
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>>26272691
We could have lamia archers. That seems to work. With quickquick they could do hit and run tactics.
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>>26272595
>>26272652
I'd suggest that she go to UFK. Least amount of questions asked, most progressive social views, etc.

Good place for her to not only disappear, but to get shit done.
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>>26272712
Honestly, it may be the obvious solution but I doubt it's the worst one: We may want to leave Aya with Granny.
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>>26272753
It's probably for the best.

Make sure to inform granny she isnt' really a lamia although i suspect she'll know by scent or somethin
>>
"What, you mean Terry, Tammy, and Aya? Their call, really. Though I'm going to recommend very strongly to them that the UFK is the safest place to go, and do my best to fund their way there." You say.

"Well, Terry and Tammy expressed interest in White Tree, they've has enough of non-humans. Aya has been following Nikai around." She sighs. "We've made it clear that if Nikai wants to keep Aya as an 'attendant' then she has to pay her." Peri sighs. "Also she's very reluctant to let you ride Skitter."

Mari comes out. "As for that humanization thing...I think there might be some truth to that. Not to the extent that Nikai claims, but human...what did she call it? Genetic Chromo-zones and Dyna New Clay Acids? Eh, whatever. Basically, human trains can't be 'bred out' of a hybrid species as easily as they can be bred in." She explains. "Do you know how many generations it takes for a half elf to breed a full elf again? Even if the partner is a full elf? Six. Until then, human features will remain in the offspring. It's longer for species like Minotaurs and Mer. Yet it only takes about three or four generations for a breed to become unrecognizable as human." She shrugs. "I don't know about that Crafter Flesh stuff Nikai talks about, but I do know that for some arcane reason, human females cause probably the highest level of sexual pleasure during intercourse, and that human males...well...there's not a creature alive that doesn't excite at least ONE adventurous deviant." She nods. "And I think it explains Lamia's appearance too. Your ancestor must have mated with a half-lizardman, half-human. Thus, the lamias in your family line started to develop human features." She shakes her head. "It's very fascinating."
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>>26272679
Catapults are small time. Citadel liked cannons on ships, they're the only gunpowder weapon we could actually get quite a few of easily. Massive cannon volley is go.
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>>26272667
Not to have them in direct assaults, but mostly to serve as reconnaissance. Information is everything, and if we know where their troops are at any given time, we're that much closer to winning.

>>26272660
That was written under the possibility that by now a force of 500k had already taken the city.

>>26272691
In ideal situations, they'd be strictly for flank attacks. As lamia are goddamn terrifying to the birds, a few spread out over the front may intimidate the enemy or confuse their command, as they'll be under the impression that killing a lamia will mean decapitating our forces.
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>>26272794
We just give Granny a dead serious look and simply say, "This is Aya." We don't want to send the message to Aya that she is or isn't anything but simply family. I think Granny will understand.
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>>26272840

Ha!
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>>26272801
"Heh, I suppose maybe love really is blind. By the way, we may want to keep Aya away from Nikai. I doubt Aya even understands slavery with how badly she's been broken. And I -know- Nikai has no qualms with keeping her that way.
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>>26272921
Is that really wise? They're the only survivors of the civilization.
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>>26272921
I still want to shove Nikai with Granny for a year or three

teach her manners and all that
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>>26272996
Would you also keep a serial killer with a child just because they're the only survivors of a plane crash?
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>>26273037
Nikai isn't a serial killer, though.
>>
"Heh, I suppose maybe love really is blind. By the way, we may want to keep Aya away from Nikai. I doubt Aya even understands slavery with how badly she's been broken. And I -know- Nikai has no qualms with keeping her that way." You say.

"Problem is that Aya only speaks Crafter, and Nikai's the only think that she recognizes as being familiar." Peri shrugs. "All Nikai has to do is treat her with any kindness, which she is, and Aya will happily serve her. Ugh." She shakes her head. "At least the Orcs have the indecency to not let their slaves fall in love with their chains. You know, they don't punish escaped slaves? They punish the overseers and masters for allowing it. Funny how things work, huh?"

You nod and drink your mead. By His Light, your skin itches.

"So," Peri says chuckling as she forces down a swallow of the stuff. "What kind of Empire Woman will Mage woo next? One of Kingfisher's deadliest assassins, a general who weilds a sword as big as her body, or an ettin queen, or whatever they have?"
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>>26272996
The Crafter civilization is gone, because two people does not a civilization make.
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>>26273074
Knowing Mage's luck? An Ettin.
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>>26272996
I admit, their scientific knowledge was vast, but their ethics left something to be desired. Honestly, Nikai can get fucked for all I care; whatever potential for good she may have had has long since been smothered by the world in which she grew up. Aya, for lack of a better wording, never became part of that world.

I digress. The Crafter culture ought be erased from history. Its very basis is brutal and evil beyond redemption.

>>26273029
Ha! That is a great idea actually. I think Granny would knock Nikai down quite a few pegs and seeing this could help snap Aya out of her brainwashing.
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>>26273074
"Knowing Mage, all of the above, probably at the same time."
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>>26273074
"Yes."
*finish your drink*
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>>26273054
She has a barely existent sense of morality that boils down to "I am better than everyone else," comes from a society where everyone not like her is a slave, and is perfectly content with continuing to enforce this slavery on an impressionable Not-Lamia. She should be nowhere near Aya.
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>>26272801
"I'd much prefer to entrust Aya's care to granny than Nakai. I don't quite, er, trust Nakai's sense of other people's rights yet. And she won't let me ride skitter.

As for that human thing, well, I'm glad love is blind and all, but it also worries me. Sounds a bit too close to citadel or something. Maybe I'm just paranoid."
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>>26273074
"20 coin says he nabs a Shrine Maiden and causes a riot of enraged zealots."
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>>26273074
"My bet is all three, at the same time. Light, I'm itchy."

"Anyway, I'd like to introduce Nikai and Aya to Granny, since she's probably the oldest non-dragon thing alive and I suspect one of the wisest. They could both learn a lot from her... I wonder if Aya ever gets this itchy?"

"Seriously, it feels like I'm wearing a thick, badly-made sweater."
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>>26273074
"All of the above, and a few we didn't think about."
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>>26273074
"The real question is what mage is going to be complaining about the following morning"
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>>26273074
Side-note, Echo; can we start learning Crafter from Nikai? If she won't teach us, we'll spy on her conversations with Aya.
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>>26273115
I've been suggesting we get her Nikai to stay with granny to learn some manners. Granny can handle her
>>
you know what we should do at some point, next time we're in stone hall?

Pop by that racist butcher's place and get HIS opinion on how his life and his business has been going. Get an opposing argument from someone who isn't a murderous criminal or slave taking spirit.
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>>26273209
I agree with this. Put both Nikai and Aya under Granny's wing. She's basically creating a little manners school, so there's no reason to give up on Nikai just because she's a racist northern belle.

Nikai can at least learn to fake politeness. She doesn't have to like it.
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>>26273191
She'll teach you the slave dialect, it's much like the Empire's separate songs for classes. She wont teach you the Divine Tongue.

>>26273167
"My bet is all three, at the same time. Plus one of their Holy Priestesses and causes a riot of enraged zealots. Light, I'm itchy.

"Anyway, I'd like to introduce Nikai and Aya to Granny, since she's probably the oldest non-dragon thing alive and I suspect one of the wisest. I don't quite, er, trust Nakai's sense of other people's rights yet. And she won't let me ride skitter. They could both learn a lot from her... I wonder if Aya ever gets this itchy?

"Seriously, it feels like I'm wearing a thick, badly-made sweater." You say.

"Here." Peri hands you another bottle of mead. "This should help." She clinks bottles. "Cheers."
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>>26273242
Fifth bottle is a go! There is no way this could go wrong! We're still good to drive!
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>>26273242
being 800lbs means you can outdrink all your firends.
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>>26273242
Then I say we accept her offer to learn the slave tongue. We should never learn the divine tongue. It will die with her and I am more than okay with that. The slave's tongue is divine in humility.
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>>26273242
"Cheers"
Continue drinking moonshine that would probably blind humans.

"What's the occasion anyway? more we-might-die drinking?"
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>>26273283
of course we're going to learn the slave tongue, I didn't even realize that was an option is how certain I was of it.

Learn the languages. ALL THE LANGUAGES.
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>>26273278
All I can think of is that diagram of Lamiae anatomy. God damn our 2nd liver is so fucking boss.
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>>26273242
after drinking and levity, we should probably excuse ourselves to talk to nakai and aya, for a language lesson.

Nothing helps learning languages like getting drunk.
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>>26273307
You mean this?
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>>26273318
>>26273307
Do we actually have redundant organs?
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>>26273318
Yes, by my estimate, our liver is collectively 8x the toxin mitigation capacity of a human's.
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>>26273325
I am almost certain we'd need either that, or EXTREME sized organs.

Both, in fact.
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> (The others think it tastes like shoe polish, you and Tricia think it tastes fantastic.)

Its probably the honey content.
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>>26273242
Why are our friends trying to get us and tricia drunk?
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>>26273388
Because We and Trish are actually nowhere near as sexy as we think we are and our friends probably laugh their ass off listening to us from the other room as we slur our pillowtalk loudly, trip over each other, wrestle and fumble awkwardly, get Ssen's tail tied in a knot then pass out, half-dressed like idiots.
>>
"Cheers" You say.

"You know, I'm envious of your and Tricia's biologies. One bottle of this stuff can put down Orcs." She chuckles.

"What's the occasion anyway? More we-might-die drinking?" You ask.

"Nah, this is 'We won one' drinking." She says. "Mari says that give this place a few seasons, it'll become a habitable hell-hole. Not to mention the islands will be viable as well. The orcs might have another generation or two of prosperity up here before they eventually cause us grief." She shrugs and sighs. "You know...it sucks...but I think I'm okay with having orcs, the White Tree racists, and the empire to always deal with...after all...an eternal peace where everyone's okay and happy? Sounds too familiar to me. Better a life that's just 'better,' eh, I dunno. I'm drunk and talking out of my ass."

At this point Tricia, laughing and slightly stumbling, falls into you and hugs you. "Hey Snake." She says. She takes a swig from your bottle and hands it back to you. "Mage is being boring again. Fiddling in that magic babble book of his. He's so BORING when he babbles." She giggles. "Not like uuuusssss."

Peri rolls her eyes and pats you on the shoulder. "Have a good night, Ssen."
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>>26273448
I am choosing to believe this is the truth.

>>26273242
after doing the cheers thing
"Speaking of the empire, we should probably see what all that kingfisher having a bounty business is about. Guy could need some help, after all."
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>>26273475
"Sleep well Peri. Apparently I have some babble to listen to."

Then wait for Tricia to pass out, as she seems quite drunk.
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>>26273475
Oh fuck. Eeeehhhhhhhhh... Trish is gonna have to help us shed first. Fuck this is the most awkward drunk foreplay in the history of drunk foreplay.
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>>26273513
Lurk a bit, you'll get the idea, mang.
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>>26273511
I say we just let her pass out and then shed ourselves.

I cannot imagine a drunk helping you shed will ever, EVER help.
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>>26273475
"You know Tricia, Mage's babble is interesting too. Even though I have no idea what it means."
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>>26273552
>Wake up covered in gashes and scratch marks and a hickey or two.
Trish: "Oh Light! Ssen, what happened!"
Ssen: *death glare* "dunwannatalkaboutit."
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>>26273569
says you, it makes sense to me
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>>26273569
I can understand it pretty well. Sure it can get a bit technical but meh, Mage is a professional. He's allowed to.
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>>26273606
We do tend to vote for the long answer more often than not.
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>>26273597
Look bro, just don't give any links to echo and if you really want to be polite sage your own posts. I think that makes it so they don't count towards postcount.

We all the time have the most unrelated conversations, it's fine as long as discussion doesn't take priority over the actual quest.
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>>26273597
Oh okay. Well thank you for the effort and especially for the civility. Much appreciated honestly. You have a fine evening, then.
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>>26273623
all sage does is it doesn't bump the thread to the top of the board. Posts still count towards the count.
>>
"Sleep well Peri. Apparently I have some babble to listen to." You say. "Also, we should probably see what all that kingfisher having a bounty business is about. Guy could need some help, after all."

"He has tried to kill us, you know." Peri says.

"Dussen mean we can't be friends!" Tricia giggles.

"Good night." Peri says.

You smile at Tricia. Eh, there's about half a bottle left of the stuff. Why not?

Remember how Lamia brains stay perfectly intact and rational up until a certain breaking point, then they lapse into either total lunacy and/or unconsciousness? Yeah. Guess what threshold you just passed?

A bucket of water wakes you and Tricia both up with a start.

"And they're finally up." Peri says. "Good morning ladies, we have a lovely breakfast of roast bird, berries, and ten miles away from the front lines."

"Oh, by his Light, tell me that they're finally sober this time." Mage groans. "If they've woken up drunk again...we got rid of all of that Orc Mead, right?"

"Yes." Lea says. "Never EVER again."

"For ANY of us." Mari says.
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>>26273642
So, what did we do to provoke that reaction?
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>>26273642
"Joke's on you guys, you can't enforce that forever!"
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>>26273660
obviously they woke us up several times already, and we were too drunk to be awake each of those times.

It's a situation I've had to deal with before.
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>>26273642
"Get rid of the mead? Are you people insane? We need to get the damn recipe."
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>>26273642
"Oh pish posh, I'm sure I'll be able to pick some up at the market without any of you knowing once we get some trade treaties and diplomacy and whatever going.

I think I'll have some of those roast birds and front lines, then. Good way to start the day."
>>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JImcvtJzIK8

Thread theme
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>>26273642
"... what did we do this time? And how long was I out? And am I starting to shed yet?"
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>>26273642
"Hey! If I didn't get my inebriated snuggling time now and again, I wouldn't have the heart to pretend to be a responsible adult!"
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>>26273691
Ssen: Rapidly develop a drinking problem.
And take up smoking while you're at it.
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>>26273642
"Lightweights."
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>>26273732
After the shit we saw up north and the tragedy of not saving all the prisoners, I say a bit of "drink the pain away" is warranted.
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>>26273732
You do realize that if that trend continues, they're gonna find us playing dice with Toll and wearing leather jackets, with our hair in a pompadour...

...and loitering.
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>>26273642
Wait... Front lines.

Fuck is there a battle happening. Shit what?
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>>26273788
Battle. It's what's for breakfast.
I guess.
We should go see who is fighting who. And eat those birds. These both have equal priority in my mind.
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>>26273765
Or we could start monologuing and sitting in dark rooms with small rays of light coming in from half open blinds.
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>>26273765
>>26273755
>>26273802
I was more thinking we could go on high seas adventures while drunk, but this is good too. I guess.
>>
>>26273634
Also, feel free to send me an email.
>>26273670

"Get rid of the mead? Are you people insane? We need to get the damn recipe." You say. "You can't enforce that rule forever."

"We can certainly try." Lea says.

"What did we do this time? And how long was I out? And am I starting to shed yet?" You ask.

"Mostly you two slept." Peri says. "And as for your shedding..."

"You and Tricia did what was probably the most disgusting, titilating, yet very touching and loving, dual striptease on the record." Mage says. "At least, that's what I was told, I only got to see the first bit of it, before SOMEONE helped me go to sleep." He shoots a glare at Lea.

"Not to mention the whole Tricia clinging to your back, changed, and how you claimed to be the 'Great Winged Serpent' and vowed to devour the sun so you'd never have to deal with cold again." Lea says.

"Then you two started to...babble...and we dragged the two of you into a tent." Peri says.

"Then you two were totally unconscious, wrapped around each other like a massive ball." Mari says.

"Finally, the last time we tried to wake you up, you'd both were still plastered and then you streaked out into the woods. You two had felled three moose, which was a welcome change since we got to have the last one for ourselves." Peri says.

"Then you babbled for a bit more, and went back to sleep." Mage says. "We thought to just let you both sleep it off, after that."

"Oh, and Terry and Tammy are on a horse to White Tree, and Aya and Nikai are on a wagon to the UFK, along with Skitter." Lea says.
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>>26273861
>felled three moose

I lost it.
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>>26273861
Sounds like we went slightly crazy... though hmm, I wonder if its possible for a lamia to grow wings?
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>>26273861
"Sounds... interesting. Good that our guests are on their respective ways, and glad to be coherent again. Not even going to ask what happened to the first two moose. Don't wanna know."

"So, where exactly are the "front lines" these days?"
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>>26273861
"Well okay then"
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>>26273926
I assume it means neither White Tree nor the UFK have been besieged.

Also, I got bored and wrote a little side-story.
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>>26273861
Have a good laugh, because this is some funny stuff.

"Ah well, I suppose the seventh bottle was one too many. I can only pray there weren't any aspiring artists in the crowd- this is the kind of thing I don't want woodcuttings of.
I did always like moose.

So, they're all already off? Or should I rush out and say goodbye?"
>>
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>>26273861
"I joined the wild spirits..."
>>
>>26273861
next time we go drinking we need a mix of glass scorpion and orc mead then watch what happens.

the world will probably burn
>>
Rolled 3

Has it been mentioned that the thread has reached "pure gold" status in the archives?
>>
>>26273991
I hate it. It looks like someone hit us with an upvoter.
I really think it's impolite to do that.
>>
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>>26273861
Steal a glance at Trish.
"...Hehe. -Winged- serpent."
>>
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>>26273991
"Leave my gold alone..."
>>
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>>26274035
Mah naga.
>>
>>26273861
"Well, I hope next time I see them I'm at least incoherent over how we're not at war any more."
>>
Rolled 19

>>26274001

Well, I think that the quest is definitely good enough to deserve it. Although that it happened so quickly is strange. Some of those threads had been sitting at 16 or 14 votes for months before the spree.
>>
>>26274097
like I said, up-to-20 upvoter.
I hate it and it cheapens the good votes we got legitimately. But enough archive talk.
>>
>>26274097
Well, when I read the archive, I upvoted the threads. Maybe other people caught up now and did the same?
>>
>>26274097
Dicefag. Are you some sort of savant who's deciphered the seed function of /tg/'s RNG and timed all your posts precisely to get 19's and 20's?
>>
>>26274126
When it comes time to actually roll for real, it'll be a critfail. It's just the way the world works.
>>
>>26274097
eh, could have been a few people catching up on the series. even the older ones always seemed to stop around 20-26 with 6 negated downvotes.
>>
Rolled 13

>>26274126

I get plenty of 1s, 2s, and 3s, as well.
>>
>>26274126
Dude he just rolled a 3.
See >>26273991
>>
>>26274160
Well. Shoot my theory in the tail, whydontcha.
>>
"Ah well, I suppose the seventh bottle was one too many. I can only pray there weren't any aspiring artists in the crowd- this is the kind of thing I don't want woodcuttings of.

"I did always like moose. So, they're all already off? Or should I rush out and say goodbye?" You say.

"Long gone." Mari says. "Left yesterday."

"Okay, good that our guests are on their respective ways, and glad to be coherent again. Not even going to ask what happened to the first two moose. Don't wanna know."

So, where exactly are the "front lines" these days?" You ask.

"Ten miles outside of the First Wood walls." Mage says. "We're currently in the Wastelands trying to put a stop to the eastern advance. The elves and UFK relief have been holding the south."

You put on a shirt over your undergarments, get out of the tent, and look around. You're indeed on the muddy barren ground of the wastelands, and you can see the shining white Citadel Dome in the distance.

"The Orcs have been holding their own." Mage says. "But it can go either way at this point."

"How?" Tricia asks.

"There's a few problems." Mage says. "Remember how we thought that we had an advantage because we had Harpies that could fly, and blackpowder weapons?"

"Not so much any more." Peri says. "Also," She sighs. "Kingfisher and his crew have Mumei, Barney, and Ambrose."

"Yeah, on the plus side, her flying machine works." Mage says.

(cont)
>>
>>26274265
"Which is why we no longer have those advantages." Mari says.

"Wait, I thought that there was a bounty on them?" Tricia says.

"There was," Mage says. "Kingfisher intentionally put himself and his people against the Empire so that when they ran to the UFK for asylum, Isen believed them. The assassins just sealed the deal further."

"Jesse-May bought it too?" Tricia asks.

"Well, she had suspicions, but they were legitimate assassins and they handed over actual useful intelligence...which Jesse-May had to deliver to the Fey Court in person." Peri shook her head. "So, she left, and then one day. The Kingfisher, that Mask Woman, and their flunkies were all gone. Along with the Princess, Barney, and Ambrose. Apparently they found Adhan tied up and gagged in the basement. They left him alive as thanks for our hospitality."

"Fuck!" Tricia says.
>>
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>trusting Kingfisher
>>
>>26274273
"Looks like we're going to be running a rescue mission soon enough. Are there any leads as to where they went, or am I going to have to just march on down south to their city and knock on some doors?"
>>
>>26274273
It seems that knife twisting wasn't just the national sport of the north...
>>
>>26274265
>>26274273
son of a bitch, that is kind of brillant for an infiltration strategy.
>>
Rolled 11

>>26274265
>>26274273
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff


Okay, do we do a rescue mission for them or open the citadel right away? I vote rescue mission.
>>
>>26274323
well, at least this one wasn't our fault.
>>
>>26274273
"So what DO we have?"
>>
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>>26274273
...Fucking seriously?
>>
>>26274265
>>26274273
Dammit! This shit makes me want to ignore selling our captured Kingfisher lackeys back for ransom and just give them to the orcs to be enslaved.
>>
>>26274295
>>26274329
WE MUST BREAK HIM.
>>
Looks like we're gonna have to spend that favor.
>>26274372
A bit too far.
>>
>>26274273
"Let's see if they accept ransom. If not, well, we'll have to do something about that."
>>
>>26274379
Nah, I'd prefer Kingfisher just go back to the Phoenix Empire. He's like Rommel. Sure, he's a sneaky untrustworthy bastard, but that's his job.
>>
>>26274273
"So, suicidal rescue Mission?"

Barney and Ambrose I get, but why did he take Mumei? I thought she was going to useless to his plans.
>>
>>26274423
He's probably denying us an asset.
>>
>>26274273
I think I've got it. The only way we're going to defeat Kingfisher and the PE is through open combat. We'll just fucking steamroll their forces consistently, and for every hostage they take, we'll ratchet up the ferocity of our march by a full order of magnitude. We have to play our game, not his. Ours is glorious irrational stupidity. So lets just let our utterly stupid-awesome luck pull us through to confound our foes.
>>
>>26274423
Probably because she gave the Phoenix wings.
>>
>>26274434
my plan is to march directly up to their on-continent population center and ask around there where our friends are.

The army that comes with us is incidental.
>>
>>26274423
If they laid so much as a finger on Granny or the girls, anything that gets in our way dies. If not, anything that gets in our way gets a choice: stand aside or die.

While we're on our way, any assets like flying machines or arms depots get destroyed.

>>26274406
He's a sneaky untrustworthy bastard, and that's why he's probably too dangerous to be left alive.
>>
>>26274458
>Call out Kingfisher.
>Propose to settle this by combat of champions
>Challenge to rock-paper-scissors
>>
>>26274520
>not arm-wrestling
>not a drinking contest
>not a board game match
>>
"So what DO we have?" You ask.

"Well, they were NOT expecting the Orcs at all," Lea says. "Plus the Orcs are much better fighters than their slave army and they've been causing a lot of dissent among the Ettin. The trained Raptors and the Terracotta are problems, not to mention the new fliers and blackpowder users. But the Harpies are better fliers, but smaller numbers. Also, Sophie and her mages have something that's...kind of spectacular."

"She's merged Blackpowder Weapons with Magic." Mage says. "It's brilliant. She calls her squad 'Spell-shooters.' And they're devastating." He shakes his head in amazement. "It's...magic babble aside, five fire balls done in the space of their one."

"Of course, they're trying to figure it out as well." Peri says. "It's pretty much a crazed race to see if our better troops, stronger monsters, and advanced tech can take out enough of their numbers before they reach our technological level. Odds are pretty even, but if we can get our people back, the better."

"So they're still alive?" Tricia asks.

"Yeah, that's what Jesse-May says." Mari says. "Ambrose is the thing that has us mystified though. They timed their abduction so that Gregory was away with Sophie, but no one has any idea at all what they want with the old man."

"Mumei had the flying machines, and Barney has the Blackpowder...Ambrose..." Tricia pauses.

"Has nothing you couldn't get from grabbing our books, or scrolls." Lea says. "Adhan checked. They had no interest in Grand Seal, the Nitor, or anything else."

"Would they accept ransom?" You ask.

"Jesse-May said that her offer of money was politely turned down. That's also how she found out that they were alive and well." Peri says. "So, unless we capture some valuable people, they aren't handing them back."

"Alright, so suicidal rescue mission then?" You say.

Mage grins. Lea rolls her eyes and hands over a coin. "Technically she said ransom first."

"Yes, but you didn't SAY she'd go for ransom." Mage says
>>
>>26274273
In all sincerity, I propose we march. Now. And don't stop until we're neck-deep in bird blood, not to sleep, to eat, or anything. We route these filth to the ends of the Earth, then push them the fuck off.
>>
>>26274518
Might want to ask. I'd hate to spend our favor to get the other three back only to learn that the bastard also took family.
>>
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Some quick shitty doodles I made on my school's table this week.
>>
Rolled 20

>>26274553
We have to make sure the orb is safely in UFK hands before the mission though. Even if we die, they need to be able to break open Citadel and get the army.
>>
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>>26274586
Sorry, Garrote
>>
>>26274595
We need to go there as soon as possible to free the army, and the orb will probably be the safest with us.
>>
>>26274559
dude, stop doing that standard "be nice to everyone until spurned when you go crazy killhappy" thing. It's not how we roll.

We're just going to go on down south and knock some heads together, not any "filth" or "bathing in blood" shit.
>>
>>26274561
Good point. Damage control. Let's find out everything he's done, everyone he's taken, before we act. But let's conserve the favor. I want to hold that favor over him until the day he dies, or use it when we've defeated him to demand he give all he has as reparations to the civilians harmed during the war and offer himself and all his surviving agents as laborers to help rebuild. I haven't decided.
>>
>>26274553
"Well, I would've gone gone for ransom if they would take it, if that changes the bet.

But they aren't, which I think is against their own war rules, so I'm just going to have to march on down there with my orc friends and ask kingfisher where my neighbors are. Unless there's a better plan on the table?"
>>
>>26274619
Didn't say we wouldn't accept a surrender or that our wrath was omnidirectional. Unfortunately, going to war requires a generally shitty attitude toward your opponent.
>>
>>26274561
I'd save the favor for the end of the war. We can beat him without using the favor.
>>
>>26274553
Well, we need a battlefield report from our Paladin compatriots. So how are they doing anyway?
>>
>>26274647
it doesn't require you to be all, and I quote, "We will route these filth to the end of the earth"
>>
>>26274518
>If they laid so much as a finger on Granny or the girls, anything that gets in our way dies. If not, anything that gets in our way gets a choice: stand aside or die.

He didn't. The only fighting was that they knocked out Adahn. Kingfisher's no fool. Why would he risk going up against Granny? The goal was to get Ambrose, Mumei, and Barney. Pissing off Granny would get him and his people killed.
>>
>>26274677
Right so how are we going to do this? We can't take the Orcs away, they are Holding the Line here. If we did they'd probably make rescuing our friends moot as the cities would be overrun.
>>
Rolled 2

>>26274709
Obviously we infiltrate with just the dawnchasers, then exfiltrate while everything is on fire. Not because we set fires to cover us, but because that sort of thing just happens to us.
>>
>>26274672
...Okay, so I have a bit of a warboner. I'll try to keep it mostly flaccid. My bad.
>>
>>26274709
Hmm... with some glamour magic we might be able to infiltrate the PE and start taking the Kingfisher's men, or even the relatives of those to whom he is beholden, in the night until he agrees to a trade.
>>
>>26274553
"Well, we could still do the ransom if we get lucky, but I doubt we can just nip on down to the battlefield and pick up a good hostage to exchange.

Unless there's some real high ranking generals down there they'd miss or something."
>>
How the fuck have the PE guys put flyers ind blackpowder weapons into mass production in a week!? We've been working on that shit for MONTHS!
>>
Rolled 19

>>26274807
This is a very good point.
>>
>>26274807
I don't think they're in mass production, they just stole our guys.

Mass production will come if we don't get 'em back.
>>
>>26274829
This. We need to get them out of there and destroy all existing prototypes.
>>
>>26274807
Hmm... This arms race shit has got to stop. We really ought to invest in some copy protected weaponry. Magical gene-coding or divine favor-based or something.
>>
>>26274671
>Well, we need a battlefield report from our Paladin compatriots. So how are they doing anyway?

Toll, and Avery are manning the Southern Advance, they're using the Fey Court's hit-and-run and terrain to their fullest advantage. Every inch the Empire gets they pay in WAY too much blood. They're continuing to push with Terracotta and slaves, but it's clear that at this point, it's just a push to keep the Fey Court occupied.

Balles and Kincaid are managing the Western Push. It's mostly Ettin and Converted Tribes. It's a full bore power smash. Brute force vs magic and tactics. Occasionally they wander up to White Tree, where they get blasted by cannons. White Tree is relying on their walls, cannons, and a few strike teams to keep the Ettins and the Empire out. It's a stalemate, but everyone knows that all it'll take is one screw-up on any side and the tide will turn. Thankfully Balles is...well...meticulous.

Julian has been fighting on the Eastern Front, where you are. This is where things are absolutely insane. The Spell-Shooters, harpies, orcs, minotaurs, mer support lines from the lake, it's a free for all, trenches are common now. The Raptors are pushing heavy here, along with lighter forces from the other armies that they have.

What's interesting, is that there's a clear second camp that's closer to the Citadel Dome. Jesse-May says that Kingfisher, and the hostages, are there. Which worries her, because anyone showing interest in Citadel as opposed to the war, worries her.

>>26274807
You've been DEVELOPING it for months and making sure that it WORKED. The Empire skipped that step by taking the people who developed them. Just as you surmised, unless you get your people back, and destroy plans and prototypes, you'll mess mass production very soon.
>>
>>26274677
Good.
>>26274759
I like magical infiltration shenanigans. As for hostages to take, I say Masked Lady would be a fair mark if it comes down to that. But I'd much rather just nab our people back, destroy any materiel on the way back, and generally burn things.
>>
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>>26274829
>>26274839
>>26274855
>>26274857
Oh boy, oh boy! It's time for my favourite mission!
>>
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>>26274878
Finding Charles Lee?
>>
>>26274857
All in favour of stalking over to the second camp say "aye'!
>>
>>26274857
Hmm we ought to unbalance the Eastern front with some swift, insane blow to keep them reeling while we bolt for Citadel. Maybe we really ought to consider calling in that favor to get back our people first.
>>
>>26274857
>eastern front
You mean western? citadel wasteland is in the west I think.

Anyway, we obviously need to visit that citadel camp. It's got the hostages, and they're FUCKING with it.

Never fuck with the trapped god. leave that to the experts. Who are us. (we are not experts)
>>
>>26274878
but...

we're too heavy for that.
>>
Rolled 5

>>26274896
Aye
>>
>>26274896
Let's just walk over there. Ask for a cup of sugar. Also our hostages back.

We're making a very complicated cake.
>>
>>26274899
>You mean western? citadel wasteland is in the west I think.

Right, sorry. My bad.
>>
>>26274896
Aye.

We're gonna have to blitz those fucks.

Holy fuck what if we take the Kingfisher hostage. Dawnchaser plans, HOOOOOO!
>>
>>26274896
Aye, but we should really observe what they're doing with the citidel. We might get some valuable intel on what not to do.
>>
>>26274937
>what if we take him hostage
No, we're taking him guest. We insist. You've just got to fill us in on all the latest gossip. There's tea and cakes.
>>
>>26274967
We're going to teach him calculus by lecturing entirely in iambic pentameter.
>>
Rolled 16

>>26274988
I love this. This should be done. We need to get people on this.
>>
>>26274988
>forcing Echo to write in iambic pentameter
Ummm...
>>
>>26274857
"Allright team, we're probably going to go visit that citadel camp. Any pressing concerns before we do that? There's usually concerns. And breakfast. Concerns and breakfast."
>>
>>26274988
sorry, we can't write in iambic pentamiter because we are not about to. The only reason we can do puns is because we got like 5 people trying to come up with them, and even then we're not very good.
>>
>>26275004
>>26274988
"a SUM of SUMS eQUALS the SUM of SUMS"
>>
>>26274937
"Alright." You say. "We're going for the second camp. We're getting our people back, and possibly punching Kingfisher in the face."

"Okay, so 10 miles that way, and about 20 more miles of trenches and open warfare, through an entire enemy camp filled with the finest warriors of the Phoenix Empire, Clay Golems housing elementals, two headed giants, and then five more miles to a camp filled with the most dangerous, backstabbing, spies that have survived the most lethal and treacherous society, parked next to a giant living wall that houses a sleeping God." Mage says.

"I love how you say that as if this kind of thing is something new to us." Mari says.
>>
Rolled 20

>>26275052

"We've already crippled two gods, I want to up one of those to 'killed.'"
>>
>>26275052
"I mean we just did that. How could you forget?"
>>
>>26275052
"Oh, don't worry, we'll be riding the wagon 10 of those miles. And the other 20 miles, we'll be complaining too much about the situation to notice how tired we are of marching."
>>
>>26275052
"If only we could just send all the world's pricks after one another. It would be nice to just drop the Choir on the Phoenix Empire's encampment.
>>
>>26275091
Couldn't we go by boat?
>>
>>26275111
if we can get to the shore, yes.
>>
>>26275111
you mean Wagon?
>>
Rolled 12

>>26275052
"We've done stupider things before. Recently even."
>>
>>26275052
"What are we waiting for, the novel? Let's get it done."
>>
>>26275109
"... Mage. For your to-do list."
>>
>>26275176
And at this moment, we realized he keeps 2 lists. He never told us, but the other one is his "to-don't" list. That's where suggestions like that one go. That way he can keep track of all the things his sister's Leviathan brain ought never be allowed near.
>>
This kinda makes me nostalgic for our first major encounter. Sneaking into Stone Hall to face down the Ghoul King.
>>
>>26275221
it's probably true. There are some things that, really, it would probably be better for us not to know. For everyone's sake.
>>
>>26275052
Okay, so, let's go get some of those Magic-Guns and go blow up that campsite.

Also, make a note that all our friends are fired from Guarding anything forever. They couldn't keep THREE PEOPLE safe, they sure as hell aren't allowed to guard any of the super-ultra-magical doomsday weapons we leave lying around.
>>
"I mean we just did that. How could you forget?" You sigh. "If only we could just send all the world's pricks after one another. It would be nice to just drop the Choir on the Phoenix Empire's encampment."

Peri and Lea look at each other. "You wanna tell her?" Peri says.

Lea sighs. "We discovered a...guest...in Wagon this morning." She points. "None of us have touched it."

You head over and lo-oh sonovabitch! You see Soma, lying there, and what's worse, you can see all the cracks that you put into it are now fused together by what looks like green-yellowish Ice.

"We've tried EVERYTHING to ditch it. Or smash it." Mari says. "But we look away and...there it is again. Mage says that if it was used against you in combat then it might be able to be broken for good, but we're not stupid enough to actually pick it up, so we just wrapped it up."

"Alright," you groan as you look away from the pain in the tail that apparently won't leave. "That aside, what are we waiting for? The novel? Let's get going."

"Okay, Jesse-May is with Julian at the main. I suppose we should go talk to them." Mari points to the collection of tents.
>>
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>>26275284
No. No. We finish this shit NOW. We are taking our ancient magical spear and WALING ON THAT THING UNTIL IT DIES. Then we are taking all the bits, and feeding them to a volcano. Fuck this sword.
>>
>>26275284
"Might as well tell them where we're going so they're prepared for whatever happens when we stack poking around in that camp."
>>
>>26275284
"Oh, I thought they'd be currently needing support against a platoon of elite whatevers. Let's go have a chat. I'm sure they'd be glad to see our orcs.

Wait, if they're right over there, then does that mean they saw my antics last night?"
>>
Oh by the Light, its a Soul Sword.
>>
>>26275318
don't worry, it'll be fiiiiiiine.

It'll be fine it'll be fine.
>>
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>>26275284
>Soma is back
Awww... Peace got lonely. I knew she would.
>>
>>26275332
SHUT UP SOMA.

Just HIT IT. Then we can throw the fucker into a lake of fire and be done with it! Come on, we already damaged it severely, one or two more good swings and we can figure out how to dispose of the useless burnt slag of cursed metal.
>>
>>26275284
"You know, we really should do something about that sword. It's a bit of a jerk.

Oh well, on we go."
>>
>>26275367
It works offa Citadel Magic...

That measn its gotta be a) destroyed in a epic battle. b) After a long and dangerous quest to destroy it.

We almost accomplished A... we haven't done shit towards B.
>>
>>26275367
do you really want to turn the cursed metal from ONE sharp self propelled chunk to DOZENS of sharp self propelled chunks?
>>
>>26275260
>Also, make a note that all our friends are fired from Guarding anything forever. They couldn't keep THREE PEOPLE safe, they sure as hell aren't allowed to guard any of the super-ultra-magical doomsday weapons we leave lying around.

To be fair, the people that got them were highly trained spies with a lifetime of training for that exact purpose. They were slightly out of their league.
>>
>>26275407
We need to upgrade our home security system.

Add it to mage's list.
>>
>>26275407
bah! Spies!

Let's just go smash their camp and take our people.
>>
I don't know why people are mad or surprised about either Kingfisher or Soma doing what they do. It's just business in the former case and a loving hatred that burns with the fires of a thousand suns in the latter.
>>
>>26275433
While singing loudly about bird-hunting in noble tongue.
>>
>>26275485
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLVgGADHg60
>>
>>26275472
I don't either. I expected both of these things with a roughly 70% certainty. It's just part of the job, nothing personal. Or extremely personal unrequited sword-vengeance-lust. Nothing to get mad over.
>>
>>26275492
What a nightmare.
>>
>>26275492
Actually I was thinking half this, half Trigun genocide song.
>>
>>26275492
We know what we must do. INCENDIARY AERIAL BOMBARDEMENT ACCOMPANIED BY SINGING!
>>
>>26275504
>>26275514
Whatever we come up with, we need to teach it to the orks as a raiding song.
>>
>>26275546
I doubt they'd get the PE tongue...

Plus it doesn't work as well for orcs
>>
>>26275546
Good plan, we should have Battle Singers with amplified voices accompany all our troops into battle. Move over, bugle, there's a new player in the game.
>>
"Oh, I thought they'd be currently needing support against a platoon of elite whatevers. Let's go have a chat. I'm sure they'd be glad to see our orcs."

"They were." Lea says.

"Might as well tell them where we're going so they're prepared for whatever happens when we start poking around in that camp." You say. "And we REALLY need to do something about that damn sword."

"We've been trying. Trust me." Mari says. "As far as Mage and I can tell, it's only weak when it's trying to kill you. Otherwise, it'll just keep coming back. There's probably something else, but we haven't gotten it yet."

You suddenly pause, mid slither. "Umm, did my Aunt and Uncle see my antics last night?" You ask.

Mage and Peri/Mari look at each other, and a choke back laughter. Lea smiles at you and shakes her head. "No, no. You and Tricia were...mostly unconscious, and you didn't leave your tent."
>>
>>26275557
Well, it'd be like a nonsense song for the orcs. The whole point of it is to scare the enemy shitless.
>>
>>26275578
"Then how did we get the moose?"
>>26275582
They'd pronounce it wrong
>>
>>26275578
>mostly unconscious and didn't leave the tent

but... what about the moose

And the strip tease

and and and

oh god they saw EVERYTHING didn't they?
>>
Rolled 15

>>26275578
They totally saw us. Crap.
>>
>>26275578
"So, is that one of those lies to make me feel better?"

Then get in on the tent and try not to be too embarrassed.
>>
From now on we need to get drunk in rooms which are locked from the outside.
>>
>>26275661
alternatively, we go to celibrations like mardi gras where our antics aren't SO out of place.
>>
>>26275632
I suspect it's several of those lies to make us feel better.
>>
>>26275661
You think any door can hold back an 800 pound amorous drunken 20 year old?
>>
>>26275684
Oh God no, I shudder to think what a drunk Lamia would be like in a crowded place. There'd barely be enough left of the victims to use for identification.
>>
"Then how did we get the moose?" You ask.

"That was earlier, along with the dance." Mari says.

"Oh, okay. Is one of those lies supposed to make me feel better?" You ask.

"More like focused." Lea says.

You go through the camp. There's the sound of building, training, and the smell of quick food and blackpowder in the air. The others lead you into a tent, where you see Julian and Jesse-May pouring over a map.

They look up at your entry and both smile. Jesse-May chuckles. "Well, you're up. Good."

Julian clears his throat, looks at you, opens his mouth, and then closes it and shakes his head and goes back to his map.

Jesse-May heads over to the group of you. "The orcs are amazing. We might actually win this. And I take it that you have an idea of how to change 'Might' into 'Will.' Correct?"
>>
>>26275712
I know from experience that yes.
>>
>>26275863
"No, I hadn't thought about that yet. I was just planning on going and knocking over that camp I hear has my neighbors in it. Figured I should tell the people running this thing."
>>
>>26275863
"I'm a grown-ass woman. Wateva IdowhatIwant!"
>>
>>26275863
"Oh I have no idea."
>>
>>26275722
oh, I'm sure it'll all be fine. Everything will be fine.

Also we should really do something about the citizens-who-naturally-produce-deadly-gas-when-under-duress thing.
>>
>>26275863
"I think it's only a "might" right now because of the kidnapping of several key allies. With their return and the destruction of the prototype flyers and guns, the tide will turn in our favor."
>>
Rolled 19

>>26275863

"I"m torn between rescuing Barney and co, and breaking our army out of the Citadel Egg and using THAT to rescue Barney and co."
>>
>>26275904
Could there be some way to stop the poison from working? A kind of safety that is placed on Lamia who are not in the military?
>>
>>26275965
I doubt the army would be in any condition to be fightan
>>
>>26275863
Well I was going to go kidnap Kingfisher then blast a new arsehole into Citadel.
>>
Rolled 3

>>26275965
>Barney and Co.
>Not Barney and friends.

I'm sorry, I'm in Hollow quest mode.
>>
>>26275999
Yeah. They're probably dealing with the Citadel equivalent of the Choir and that one type of ice thing that I forgot the name of.
>>
>>26276003
*Should be in quotes
>>
>>26275863
"Recover the hostages before the PE can mass-produce any of their new toys they stole from us, destroy whatever they have, and get them the hell away from Citadel. That last bit's for everyone's benefit."
>>
"yep, i'm going to go and rescue Barney, Ambrose and mummi. should slow down there ablity to rip off our tech."
>>
"Oh I have no idea." You say. "I was just planning on going and knocking over that camp I hear has my neighbors in it. Figured I should tell the people running this thing."

Jesse-May looks at Julian. He nods. She returns it. "Good. That Kingfisher fucker has been running circles around us...although he keeps doing the strangest things."

"Don't try to figure him out, Jess." Julian says.

"Oh, I've already figured him out." Jesse-May says. "He's a man who's loyal to the Phoenix Empire, but he has no loyalty to people, and that includes the Emperor. What I can't figure out is where his moral line is, or which nobles he's against." She sighs.

"Why?" Julian says. "You keep acting as if we can turn him over to our side, but you keep saying that he'll never betray the Empire."

"Because he might be our best chance for a lasting peace." Jesse-May says. "Unlike you, I don't relish the idea of forever being at war with them." She waves her hand. "Never the less, you need a way inside the Kingfisher's camp that doesn't have you fighting for thirty solid miles of Birds.

"I've got two. None of them are fun."

"Of course they aren't." Tricia says.

"Alright," She says. "One of the 'agreements' we have with the Empire is that we return the bodies of the slain to each other, for identification and burial. We usually end up with a giant wagon of them every day."

"We hide under the big pile?" Mage asks.

"Now, I know that it's a little unsavory but...you all look FAR too accepting of that plan for my liking." Jesse-May says.

"Trust me." Peri says. "After our trip north, hiding under a bunch of dead bodies is pretty mundane."

"What's plan B?" Lea asks.

"We might be able to bribe, or blackmail, a few of the Raptors. I've got a few that I know I can push over the edge into actually helping us. They can supply you with disguises and let you into their camp." She says.
>>
Rolled 4

>>26276401
[x] *Look at tail* "Disguises."
>>
>>26276401
Plan A!
You just know Kingfisher has tabs on all the people Jesse might be able to 'persuade'.
>>
>>26276401
"I'm afraid I'm a bit beyond disguises. The corpses aren't going to get up and start singing the praises of a dark god right?"
>>
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>>26276401
"Really? Disguises? What, would I just make sure to stand behind a bush all the time?"
>>
>>26276401
"Hmm let's evaluate the corpse-pile plan. If you feel it's solid in its own right then we might be able to back it up by you turning over a few of those Raptors for camp layouts, patrol info, and whatnot.
>>
>>26276401
Every time we trust anyone in the Phoenix Empire, they end up stabbing us in the back. And as for Kingfisher, he probably serves the fat bird itself rather than any noble or even the Emperor. If so, he'll prove about as cooperative as Peace.
>>
I think both plans are terrible. There's no way they don't throughly check the corpse pile, and that's also really underhanded. Exploiting an angreement of returning the bodies of the soldiers is really scummy behavior.
>>
>>26276518
Might ask to see if Sideways is on the list of potential turnees.

Still a bit sore about that.
>>
>>26276401
>giant snake
>disguise

How bout no. And besides, I really think that using a corpse wagon to sneak in violates the honor of the agreement.

The obvious solution is to build a flyer and swoop in like a feathered serpent.
>>
>>26276530
As opposed to attacking an entire continent in a bid at world domination via Citadel-style mindfuckery?
>>
>>26276567
Ha. It violates nothing. We're not defiling the bodies in any way. There was no clearly defined line of chivalry in our agreement with the Kingfisher, and you'd better believe he'd do the same without pause if need be.
>>
>>26276567
yeah, that really violates the feeling of the agreement. I don't like it.

I think that our friends should go in disguised and we should hide in like, a bag. Or barrel.
>>
>>26276401
I think the Kingfisher might be expecting those things to happen. What he won't expect is a glider full of dawnchasers commando dropping in his camp.
>>
>>26276608
It's a laws of war thing. It'd be like not following through on a prisoner exchange or strapping bombs to prisoners we send back.
>>
Rolled 5

I agree that the first plan is despicable morally, and the second plan is unfeasible due to our anatomy.
>>
>>26276567
I kinda dig it.
>>
>>26276636
yeah, we gotta follow dem warlaws. I think the disguise plan might actually work, we could look like supplies or something.

Work well enough to get us to the camp at least, which is good enough.
>>
>>26276567
I like this. Lets do this Echo
>>
>>26276621
When given two options, pick the third.
>>
>>26276672
>>26276567
look, I'd LIKE to fly in, but that might not even be possible.
>>
>>26276636
It's nothing like that at all, though. What you just mentioned toys with or destroys people's lives. What we'd be doing is simply taking advantage of a gap in their security. It in no way disgraces the dead, nor will it unjustly end lives of the living. Not to mention there ought not be any rational expectation of safety in the exchange of the dead. Our sort of exchange -should- be handled with begrudging and wary respect. He'd be a fool to not expect this and it's his own fault.
>>
>>26276689
it's less stupid than disguises and less damaging to relations than the corpse wagon.

Plus pick the third option
>>
>>26276689
If we get something big enough, Mage could cause an updraft.
>>
>>26276620
I also don't like the idea of violating the spirit of the agreement. Let's see what Jesse-May had in mind in terms of disguises, since she knew we were a Lamia when she proposed the idea.

Also, we're not hiding in a bag. Fuck bags. A barrel is fine, though.
>>
>>26276709
Or we could build a balloon.
>>
>>26276728
Balloons are slow
>>
>>26276704
You're not understanding that our little group is far more dangerous than any bomb and that there is nothing more sacred than respecting the dead.

Our nation has made an agreement with the PE to exchange corpses so that they do not rot on the battlefield, even though both sides knew the possibility of enemy infiltration through that method or the enemy not living up to the deal. We must do all we can to make sure that deal is maintained. We can slaughter people on the battlefield, but slaughtering people after sneaking in with the dead is immoral.
>>
>>26276728
Fly Wagon in? We'd have to leave Lightmare behind with Jesse and Julian, but it just MIGHT work.

Plus, it means something good came out of our drunken escapades as the "winged serpent".
>>
>>26276743
They're also quiet, stable, and can lift our entire party. Not to mention it's powered by something Mage is actually consistent at: fire.
>>
>>26276704
It doesn't destry lives, but it exploits of a gap in security created to bring closure and confort to the families FIGHTING FOR US.
>>
>>26276755
Yeah. Echo mentioned it, so now we have to make it come true.
>>
>>26276718
>fuck bags
THE BAG IS THE ONLY WAY SSEN

JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE
>>
>>26276768
yeah but glorious winged serpent
>>
>>26276786
Are -you- going to tell the snake with balloons strapped to it that it's not a winged serpent?
>>
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>>26276774
You clearly underestimate the power of the bag. I mean, sitting here talking about it is one thing, but when we experience it...

Look, unless the soldiers escorting the wagon are cool with a dead body screaming and crying for several hours, we can't do the bag.
>>
>>26276718
yeah, if we can win this war with a reputation for sticking to deals that will make the peace much easier.
>>
>>26276800
Yes
>>
>>26276786
They were Tricia's wings, but we can still fly.
>>
Rolled 1

>>26276817
You are a braver man than me anon.
>>
>>26276828
Getting venom in my; eyes would be well worth it.
>>
>>26276801
well, technically the bag would be a screaming bag of "grain" if we did the disguise resupply thing.
>>
>>26276786
We weight 750 pounds. There are certain physical considerations there.
>>
Would we have to do a SAN check for bags?
>>
>>26276881
Fuck physics
>>
>>26276855
"What the hell kind of grain is that?"
"Howling barley, from up North, beyond the ice."
>>
>>26276891
Sorry bro, in this quest we have to deal with physics and logistics.
>>
>>26276881
All you need is the right amount of lift. Maybe Mage can do jets or something.
>>
>>26276774
this isn't staring down our own reanimated mother, or attacking the home city of a eldritch abomination. its a bag! nothing can stand against such horror!
>>
>>26276907
And a balloon is more efficient than any lifting body that could carry our party.
>>
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>>26276905
>"Why do they call it howling barley?"
>[Ssen's screams intensify]
>"Just get the fuck out of here."
>>
>>26276940
Wait, what if we combined a balloon with a flyer? You'd get an airship, right? It'd be much faster than a simple balloon.
>>
>>26276981
>wagon with a balloon and wings

Why the fuck not
>>
>>26276995
Well, a balloon and a propeller more specifically.

Unless we don't have propellers. What do the flyers look like anyway? Are we at Wright Flyer stage or a simple glider?
>>
>>26277016
I don't think we're at Kitty Hawk yet, and I don't know where we are in terms of propulsion.
>>
>>26277016
probably unpowered gliders, we were meaning to get her and barney to collaborate.
>>
>>26276881
I'll assume 1200 pounds for our whole group plus gear.
~544.3108 kg * 9.8165 m/s^2 = ~5343.2270 N of force needed to be applied by the buoyancy of a hot air balloon (after countering its own weight) in order to lift us. We'd need the equivalent of a significantly larger than average modern hot-air balloon to accomplish this.
>>
>>26277075
As opposed to a lifting wing?
>>
>>26277075
lamia brain:

Calculate the viability of inventing hot air balloons to solve our current problem.
>>
>>26277059
Maybe we could do a hand propeller. Or two hand propellers. It's gonna be better than just a balloon, where you're at the mercy of the winds.
>>
It's settled. We build a giant, possibly flaming flying machine to swoop down over their camp and set everything on fire.
>>
>>26277109
Mage does have wind magic

could be helpful
>>
>>26277092
Ehh the issue with a wing is building the velocity required in order to generate lift.
>>
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>>26277108
>solution 1 scares us
>solution 2 offends our morals
>let's invent a completely new machine for solution 3 just because we said something while drunk

And after this, we can build even bigger airships to attack the Phoenix Empire from. I'm sure you guys know exactly what I'm referencing.
>>
>>26277133
Oh shit. Parasailing.

We use a parachute and Mage's wind magic (assuming that there is no commensurate reactive force imparted upon mage's body because fuck you Newton, we have magic) in order to basically parasail in reverse, without a boat, into the Kingfisher's encampment.
>>
>>26277227
Nope. Not as cool or appropriate to the situation.
>>
>>26277227
additionally, adding correctly formed wings to the sides of wagon could provide additional lift. advanced aerodynamics isn't my forte though so i can't quite be 100% sure of the veracity of this addition.
>>
>>26277288
Lifting bodies are very inefficient at lower speeds.
>>
>>26277167
Yes, the might of the Fire Nat- I mean Phoenix Empire shall be NOTHING before our mighty balloon armada!
>>
So how long until paladin falling jokes start?
>>
>>26277334
That's why we strap ROCKETS to the Wagon!
>>
>>26276401
"After much deliberation I have come to the conclusion that the calculations show plan flying serpent to be infeasible.
Tell me of disguises."
>>
>>26277378
Strapping a balloon to wagon and adding a couple of hand cranked propellers would be simpler.
>>
>>26277334
Thank you, I'll keep that in mind. So wing is out.

>>26277378
Black powder rockets could actually be a great source of thrust however.
>>
>>26277378
Not a stealthy solution.
>>26277382
Balloon is definitely feasible. What're you on about?
>>
>>26277427
We could have it like an ion drive. We shoot out rockets, which generates momentum in the opposite direction.
>>
>>26277438
are the calculations up there incorrect then?
>>26277075
I don't actually know, I just assumed they were right.
>>
actually the balloon plan might be feasible, if there is some sort of magic that could make us lighter. I think its at the very least worth looking into.
>>
>>26277490
Yeah. This is fantasy. Not every law of physics is in play and they can be stretched a little.
>>
>>26277446
...Not ...quite? But I love the enthusiasm.
>>
"I don't like the corpse plan." You say. "Way too risky and it skirts far too close to the line for my tastes." You say. "I know we're not defiling the bodies, but that's one of those things that can com back to haunt us. As for your second plan, really? Disguises? What, would I just make sure to stand behind a bush all the time?" You gesture to your tail.

"Well, I was hoping that you would..." She looks at your tail and sighs. "Damnit. I keep imagining that you're either shorter than you are or...I don't know...hoop skirts?"

"Told you that was a bad plan, Jess." Julian says.

"I am working as fast as I can, with whatever I can find. I apologize for being unable to solve all your problems in a matter of days." Jesse-May says.

You stare at the map. "Could we fly?" You say. "Mumei's devices worked. Otherwise they wouldn't take them."

They look at you, then back to the map. "You have to be joking." Jesse-May says. "There's no way we could do something like that without being spotted. Not to mention that we don't HAVE any of Mumei's plans. Kingfisher has them all."

Roll 1d20
>>
>>26277461
The calculations are very limited. He gives forces, but fails to provide any information about volume or lift capacity.
>>
Rolled 19

>>26277528
>>
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We don't need to fly.

We need to jump.

Let's go up, do this, and scoot on over to the phoenix camp, and drift/fall gracefully down at just below terminal velocity.
>>
>>26277548
Highly satisfactory.
>>
Rolled 5

>>26277528
No whammies
>>
Rolled 13

>>26277528
Lets try this
>>
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>>26277548
Based Radaeth
>>
Rolled 13

>>26277528
>>
>>26277528
Do it at night, paint it black, wear black.
>>
Rolled 16

>>26277528
"I don't mind much if I'm spotted, just if I'm stopped before I get there."
>>
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>>26277548
>>
>>26277548
i'm not sure if this is going to be a good thing or a bad thing, but its defiantly going to be an interesting thing.
>>
>>26277581
Agreed. Nobody will be expecting us by air and, even if they spot us, it will be difficult to determine where we are or hit us. It's not like they have AA.
>>
Oh and Mage's stalking spell will help too!
>>
>>26277597
That sentence is basically all of Lamia Quest forever.
>>
Rolled 7

>>26277548
You are a scholar and a gentleman.
>>
GUYS

this is the perfect test
if we can actually fly there, then we KNOW that the light is doing miracles for us.
>>
>>26277695
Don't tempt the Light.
>>
We need puns/jokes for when we "land" in the PE camp.

Ideas?
>>
>>26277695
So if we -can- fly in there, let's make some basic smoke bombs and use our magic heat sight to rush to the hostages and rescue them on the snake train.
>>
>>26277721
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH AIRLINE FOOD
>>
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>>26277721
"OH! So -THIS- is how a Paladin falls!"
>>
>>26277721
"aaaAAAAAAAAAAAU-*crash* *smash* crash*"

"I'm okay!"
>>
>>26277723
Smoke bombs are too obvious. If we go at night and use Mage's camouflage spell we can sneak in.
>>
>>26277548
"Yes, we do." Mage and Mari say at the same time.

"What?" Julian says.

"Show them." Mari says.

Mage takes out one of his to-do books and flips through it. "She wanted to check to see if she could make a device that oscillated upon the HEKA field in order to auto-balance against wind currents, and I said that it would be possible, provided that the device was large enough to withdraw leyline energy from the common-law thaumic fiel..." He looks at everyone. "Okay, magic babble crap aside, I've got this."

He opens a page to a very complex looking device.

"What does it do?" Julian says.

"It lifts things into the air." He says. "But that's ALL it does. Up and down. Also, it doesn't last very long either." He flips a page.

"Right, but I was thinking, that if you put that device on a vehicle..." Mari flips the page to show a mess of her scrawling sketches. "And then attach a sail, you could pilot the thing."

"Can you build that thing?" "Would it work?" Jesse-May and Julian ask at the same time.

"In theory sure, but I need pretty expensive materials, and as I said, the thing wouldn't last very long before it was brought back down to earth." Mage says.

"How long?"

Mage shrugs. "I've never built even a test model. This is all academic theory. But...ten, twenty minutes. Less if you want to land in one piece."
>>
>>26277548
COMMANDO!!!!!
>>
>>26277075
Let's get Mage to do some magic shit to the balloon to make it more efficient.

What if

What if we turned the leviathan into an airship and then crashed it into Citadel

>"MAGE, MAGE, I HAVE AN IDEA. THE BEST IDEA."
>>
Rolled 5

>>26277721
SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!
>>
>>26277787
"Works for me."
>>
>>26277787
"Is there any way to control how high or how low you go?"
>>
>>26277721
"Guess who's dropping by?"
>>
>>26277721
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4JCehDOy54
>>
>>26277787
"One: is it Wagon-compatible? Two: can it be destroyed at a moment's notice? No need for another technological coup. Three: when can we go?"
>>
if we could build a rechargeable one we could use it to extract ourselves, getting out is going to be at least as hard as getting in, since we are going to have 3 noncombatants with us.
>>
>>26277787
"So we just turn it on, shoot over there with a sail, or some fireworks, or something, and crash right on their heads, noisy as can be.
With any luck, we won't land on spearmen."
>>
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>>26277896
YES. I DON'T CARE IF IT'S META WE NEED TO HAVE THE ENTIRE GROUP SING THIS SONG WHILE WE'RE DROPPING INTO THEIR CAMP.
>>
>>26277908
we might have to make the snaketrain public knowledge
>>
>>26277805
GOOD IDEA! FLY THE LEVIATHAN INTO THE ENEMY CAMP!

They'd never see it coming... Just sitting there, keeping watch and BAM! A million tons of steel and artillery fall out of the sky and mash them into paste.
>>
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Oh wow, is it going to look like this? With Mage's swag at maximum?
>>
>>26277962
Giant chibi snake head balloon with a big silk tail hanging from the gondola.
>>
>>26278002
We're not Team Rocket, damn you.
>>
>>26278002
>>26278023
We could do it in the shape of a giant dragon.
>>
>>26278032
We could do a bust of Isen's head. It'd be almost life-sized, too!
>>
>>26278032
>>26277962
stop being silly! This is a serious zeppelin! With serious crashes!

>>26277787
"Being in one piece is probably overrated. I say we do it.

I was kind of hoping you had come up with a really good disguise for me though, auntie."
>>
>>26278042
No, that's for Air Ego One.
>>
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>>26277805
>The collective faces of everyone else in the world as they finally realise that the fate of literally everything can and will be decided by a lamia who is fucking insane
>>
>>26278069
I'm wondering when people will start picking up on how we're off our rocker.
>>
>>26278069
I wonder who will be the first to realize that we were the one who cased that fuckhuge explosion (after Isen, of course).

Nope, that's not a good omen. Just the Serpent killing a giant monster made of ice and darkness and fueled by the nightmares of children.
>>
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>>26278069
You think it's bad now? Wait till the lamia population starts going up. Some little snake girls are going to use us as a role model and some might even end up eclipsing us in importance.
>>
>Disguise
Is there really no such thing as a polymorph spell in this setting? I suppose that would be too easy.
>>
>>26278093
I think everybody already knows, but they're all too scared of what we can do to argue with us.

>"You really should stop trying to help, you're fucking insane."
>"HAHA THAT'S COOL AND ALL BUT I'M GOING TO GO KILL GOD. "
>>
>>26278136
I've been meaning to ask about that.

if the FIRST explosion was an omen, what was the second one?

because there were two, and the second was way bigger
>>
>>26278093
I think the events of last night were that very moment.
>>
>>26278165
I'd rather we didn't go mad mind you. Joking is fine and all but well...
>>
>>26278170
Possibly impending doom.

Might want to capture someone and question them.
>>
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>>26278156
>An entire nation of Lamiae
>All of them are loopy
>All of them use Ssen as a role model
>Everyone's Face When
>>
>>26278185
Oh, we're already mad. Quite mad.
>>
>>26278185
The only reason we've managed to get so far is due to being mad and not following the logical rules.

Dick-ass gods can't make any plan that involves us because of that madness. After all, if we have no idea what we are doing, they certainly can't predict how we'll move.
>>
>>26278208
don't worry, we can't congregate in super high numbers due to our dietary restrictions. At most it will be lamia conclaves in other nation cities.
>>26278165
oh come on, we're quite reasonable, I'm sure they feel at ease to tell us we're insane.
>>
>>26278266
Thats more a situational induced madness. And even more so when you realize that the only way to adhere to our beliefs it becomes logical to behave Illogically.
There is a Method to our madness.
>>
hey echo, what is the official story regarding citadel?
>>
>>26278307
>see: the first 49 threads.
>>
>>26278323
he means what was told to the general population.
>>
>>26278208
Speaking of which, I wouldn't mind another insane Lamia character. I'd be interested to know how that works out "in the wild."

We're insane, but also civilized and technically minded.

>>26278307
It was a wonderful place where everyone was happy until a big mean ugly lizard lady with no legs and NO TASTE IN GOOD STORIES ruined everything.
>>
>>26278307
we fought it, killed peace who was feeding/raising it, and the thing sealed in on itself.
>>
>>26278334
Oh! Oh duh. Sorry. Snark rescinded.
>>
>>26278294
It's ordered chaos.

Or, to put it in a less simple but more literal way, it's coherent madness.
>>
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>>26278365
Yeah. Lamia might have a bifurcated mind which allows them to hold several opposing ideas or opinions and bicker away until a consensus is formed. And all this occurs within seconds.

Now, we aren't unbelievably fast thinkers, it's just this interaction between the various "minds" that's fast. We can be fooled and we can't figure out everything. If the consensus is wrong, then we are wrong.
>>
>>26277787
"Well, it seems like the plan is to fly.

Mage says he has no idea how long it will take him to make the device, so I'm gonna plan on it taking three days. No pressure mage. What to do in the meantime?"
>>
>>26278423
And sometimes an idea so extremely stimulating which occurs to one sub-brain, excites another due to proximity and collateral reception of chemical signals, which causes the second to become excited by the idea when it otherwise would have considered it logically first, and it all snowballs. The 6th century Lamia neurologist, Ssen Patrick dubbed this the, "Do it! Do it! Do it!" effect and cited it as the inspiration for many of her infamous "Dawnchaser plans".
>>
>>26278482
We could help on the frontlines in key areas. That'd give us a picture on how the common soldier and orc is fairing. Plus, it might be a morale boost.
>>
>>26278505
I'd like that, and it'd be a good use of time.

>>26278502
Of course, this is all supposition and daydreaming.
>>
>>26278557
No it isn't, now shut up, left brain, we've had enough of your existential tomfoolery for one cycle.
>>
>>26278557
It might be just Ssen. Other lamia don't act like we do, and I kinda find some issue with that.

I mean, maybe it just isn't good for lamia to be raised by humans. Maybe it causes even more instability than is natural.

>>26278594
Talk shit get hit, rightbrainfag.
>>
>>26278630
You wanna go, you wrinkly grey bitch? I will give this Lamia a goddamned stroke.
>>
Guys I got a line for us to use when we drop into the camp
{"Sorry to drop in announced, but I figured you would have had the foreflight to see any other attempts"
>>
>>26278630
it might be all the magic radiation even.
But we don't know if other lamia act like us or not, I'm still wanting to read the stone hall police reports since the lamia population was added.
>>
>>26278669
unannounced*

fuck fuckity fuck fuck
>>
>>26278675
Yeah, hearing about various gossip about what the new snake neighbors did would be hilarious.

>"And I tell you those kids tried to build a perpetual motion machine! It hasn't stopped for the past six nights and the noise it makes is getting unbearable."
>"Oh, how uncivilized. It's like they have no respect for the laws which the Light gave this world."
>"And little wonder too, seeing how they go about killing every god they meet."
>>
Ssen: Just sort of stand there staring for 5 minutes again.
>>
>>26278669
{When the Ssserpent learns to fly, the sssky is no longer sssafe for you...}
>>
Unrelated note, but I just realized this is IRL Ssen and how I may hear the voice of Ssen from now on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx5D09s5X6U
>>
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>>26278786
My god... you're right...
>>
>>26278783
I like it
>>
>>26278786
She even has a slight lisssp.
>>
>>26278856
We worked on that when we were a kid.

it shows up sometimes still but not in normal conversation
>>
>>26278856
Yeah, that's what sealed it for me.
>>
>>26278877
Nevemind, i missread yer post
>>
>>26278877
And when we want to emphasize the fact that we're a 750 pound snakewoman who as far as the PE knows may or may not be a nightmare spawned by hell itself specifically to eat their souls.
>>
I think we've gone just rampaging off while waiting for echo into unrelated conversation.
>>
Page 7 and falling fast

>>26278502
>The 6th century Lamia neurologist
Shouldnt this read: The 6th century Lamia neurotic?

>>26278786
>Snakesnakesnakesnakesnake
Oh god I have to stop watching before the leviathan insanity get me!
>>
We should probably practice our taunts on the frontline these next three days. I feel we're out of practice. (seriously, they're not as good as when we first started doing it)
>>
>>26278902
If by eat their souls, you mean send them to have the limit of their innocence as they approach infinity be judged by the angel, L'Hopital and, if found wanting, sentenced to an eternity of existence as a indeterminate form.
>>
>>26278940
they really aren't. We've lost some skill.
>>
>>26278940
The mood hasn't been all the great since the timeskip
>>
>>26278972
"I'm uh... here to eat you. Fear me for I am some pretty scary shit. Like, look at this tail, man. Oh! And, umm... Grarr, rawrr hiss and whatnot, I suppose."
>>
>>26279019
okay, yeah, that's our next one. 100%.
>>
>>26279019
{Ssseven little birdies, hiding in a hedge
A ssserpent came down and ate their headsssss...}
>>
>>26279061
Better.
>>
I hope echo is eating a nice meal, and not stressing out or something about our lamia neurology side talk.
>>
>>26279066
{Sssix little birdies, flying through the night
The sssserpent was waiting to set them alight...}
>>
>>26279132
>a ten little Indians taunt

Now this could work.
>>
>>26279164
{Five little four little three little Phoencians, one little phoenician bird.}
>>
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We get back home and find Ssai and Ssah explaining these to baffled human children.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paQ10POrZh8
>>
>>26279132
{Five little birdies, running through a door
The ssserpent caught up and then there were four}
>>
So it could go:

Seven little birdies, hid in a hedge.
A serpent came down and ate one's head.
Six little birdies, flew away in fright
The serpent rose up and pulled one out of sight
Five little birdies, ran through the door
The serpent caught one and then there were four.
>>
>>26279299
{Four little birdies, thinking they could flee
The ssserpent struck again and then there were three...}
>>
>>26279061
oh god, read it like golem sings the song about catching the fish.
>>
>>26279356
Three little birdies, who didn't have a clue
The serpent's green coils left only two.
>>
changing it a bit so it doesn't copy #4 when the others don't match either.
{Four little birdies, thinking they could flee
The ssserpent struck again as they thought they were free...}
>>
>>26279396
{Two little birdies, too tired now to run
The sssserpent ssssnapped one up, leaving only one...}
>>
Echo you've been gone too long, we've gotten to the stage where we're creating sinister rhymes to freak out phoenixians
>>
Even for us, this is kind of fucked up.
>>
>>26279452
>We take no part in war crimes and the like.
>Excel in the psy ops department.
>>
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>>26279447
One little birdie, now all alone.
The serpent's bright smile will make sure he never sees home.

Seven little birdies, who thought they could fight.
And the serpent made sure, that... one by one... they vanished in the night.
>>
>>26279487
>tfw none of them are dead, just unconscious
>>
>>26279514
(They are all our hostages to prove to the Kingfisher we are better then him.)
>>
>>26279487
we can only do this if we're capturing them all alive, so they can tell the story later. Or we let one get away.
>>
>>26279514
No, we'd be hiding in the treetops singing that song. We'd preface it with "you want to hear how my last fight with the Phoenix Empire went? It went like this..."

The point is to get them to surrender.
>>
later, it turns out we don't even get to do any of the fighting or sing our song at all.
>>
>>26279612
Well, we shouldn't even risk that. We'd create a situation that'd allow us to sing it.
>>
>>26279612
we will MAKE a situation to sing this.
>>
>>26279535
Ransom them back for a ham sandwich.
>>
>>26279671
Pshh there has to be more delicious foodstuffs in the Empire.
>>
>decades later, Ssen's Seven Bird becomes a popular children's song in the Phoenix Empire
>>
>>26279671
>>26279690
Has mumei given us any empire food?
>>
>>26279702
>To sing around campfires at night, for the purposes of frightening small children
>>
>>26279671
>>26279690
If we need to embarass them further

Rice Wine

Barrels and Barrels of Rice wine.

The UFK will be a melting pot of good brews, and the Lamia ghetto will the have the best bar in the city with that + Orken Mead
>>
>>26279752
>lamia ghetto
I wonder what jobs our folk are taking anyway. Hunters? We can't ALL be hunters, can we?
>>
>>26279752
Yes. We'll exchange seven prisoners for seven barrels of rice wine. The prisoners, of course, have to taste each barrel, so no poison (not like it'd work on us).
>>
>>26279752
Just ask them for the recipe.

We should think of some weird ransoms ahead of time. How about a head of cabbage, a piece of string, and an empty soul gem?
>>
>>26279765
The best Bellydancers

with our lifespans we can arguably grow into librarian/merchantry

>>26279817
> Recipe
> Mumei has already stated the soil around this country is unsuited for rice
>>
>>26279817
Yeah, the weird ransoms don't necessarily matter, it's just proof we can one up him and won't play his games.
>>
>>26279817
"A flock of prize hens"

"Your general has to do a dance"

"A good book"
>>
>>26279817
I'd say toys are good demeaning thing too but I'm afraid of them being trapped...

> piece of string
>>
>>26279817
Ransom them for:

Recommendations to good restaurants.

Good baby names.

What do you call that thing at the back of your throat?

All the paper lanterns you can send us.
>>
>>26279854
Actually, let's go for the book. The Kingfisher's favorite fiction book. Obviously not his copy of it.

But that's only for one soldier. The other six we exchange for that rice wine.
>>
>>26279878
>asking the PE for good baby names
>hawk
>dove
>sparrow
>he who is the gust beneath that allows me to soar
>>
>>26279932
"These are terrible, come back when you get some real baby names and then you'll get your prisoner back"
>>
>>26279892
We could use that book to communicate with Kingfisher (see: the Beale ciphers).
>>
>>26279956
I dunno, that last one at least was inventive.

Ask them if they know how to square the circle, that shits been bothering us for weeks.
>>
>>26279995
Actually, that's a good idea. We need that book then.
>>
So did Echo die?
>>
so, apparently our aunt and uncle DID see our antics.
Does that mean the soldiers did too?
Just how many people saw our, er, performance?
>>
>>26280056
Cougars. The pacific northwest is full of 'em. He probably got snatched.
>>
>>26280077
You try blackmailing a 800lb snake woman who is also a paladin.

I dare you
>>
>>26280077
Who cares? Big wave and giant smile when they see us!
>>
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>>26280056
Something came up, no doubt.
Archive it and see if he makes up for it tomorrow. If not, I'd expect Tuesday.

>>26280089
This is true. They're a legitimate concerned up here. Them and gillygaloo birds.
>>
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>>26280119
>>26280110
I am burning with embarrassment.
>>26280124
Yeah, it's a dangerous life up here.
>>
Who knows, maybe he'll pop back later on tonight, or make a new one tomorrow.
>>
>>26280293
Oh, I don't think so, it's getting quite late.
>>
Guys...I think...

...Kingfisher got him, didn't he?
>>
>>26280303
yeah, but we generally burn on for another two hours or so, so there's still time tonight.

We've got flying to look forward to next time though, whenever that might be. Looking forward to that. I'd also like to one day see how our folk are doing in the city, but we probably won't get to for a long long time.
>>
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>>26280303

Echo apparently lives somewhere in Seattle, IIRC. It's only 10:00-ish on the West Coast right now.

Also mfw when I just barely miss the quest.
>>
>>26280339
KIINNNGGGFIIISSSSHHHEERRRRR
>>
>>26280369
SSSNNAAAAAAKEEE
>>
>>26280369
>>26280339
The last time the empire wanted to delay us, it was food poisoning. I'm not surprised.
>>26280358
I live right in his time zone. It's so amazing.
>>
"One: is it Wagon-compatible? Two: can it be destroyed at a moment's notice? No need for another technological coup. Three: when can we go?" You ask.

"One, yeah...probably. Two, yeah I can do that. Three, I can put together something that will only most LIKELY get us killed in two, three days, if I can use Sophie and her Spell-Shooters." Mage says.

"Done." Julian says.

"You have to be kidding me." Jesse-May says. "This is a plan that's stupid for SO many reasons!"

"I've seen them do worse." Julian says. "And come through it spectacularly."

"So, our plan is to make Wagon fly." Peri says. "Sure. Why not?"

"Okay. We have a plan!" You say.

"And it's only mildly suicidal and stupid this time." Tricia says.

Sorry for the long gap. Events happened and are still happening. Next thread will be on Tuesday July 30th 1-3pm PST. We'll have the Flight of the Serpent then.

May His Light watch over you.
>>
>>26280433
Punch Kingfisher for me, will you Echo?
>>
>>26280433
Good luck with that cougar echo. Last time one jumped me I lost a whole day. I suggest using a knife, if you can find one. Thanks for what thread there was today.

Now, on to our next topic: PSAs and safety classes for monsters living with humans. Ssai and Ssah could do claws, and we couldn't do that as kids. Who knows what else they can do.
>>
>>26280470
In the dick. RIGHT in the dick.
>>
>>26280488
Speaking of whom, which is the older? Ssai or Ssah?
>>
>>26280500
>>26280470
The following morning, Echo wakes up in bed with the kingfisher and a sense of worried confusion.

This is on the assumption that he is a gay james bond.
>>
>>26280513
Ssai's older, at 11. ish. Wheras Ssah is 5. ish.

It's always Ish with them and us, since lamia didn't actually keep exact birth dates as far as I am aware.
>>
>>26280488
Could we have a post-game discussion thread?
>>
>>26280513
Ssai is older
>>26280470
You'll get your own chance.
>>26280488
Coyotes actually. Fuckers kill the neighborhood cats regularly.
>>
>>26280413
It's weird that we're all in the same timezone, but we're still 1,200 miles apart. It's also going to be rough keeping up when I'm in GMT for a year.
>>
>>26280488
We should really take an opportunity when things calm down slightly to do some mentoring for Ssai. Teach her to shoot a bow and arrow or something. Do what father did for us.
>>
>>26280579
Good to know. Also, my neighborhood has no coyotes anymore. Seems to be correlated with the lack of cats.

So I've got this sidestory about the sorts of things that happen while we're away from Stone Hall.
>>
>>26280572
we miiight take it on to the qtg if you really want, but we generally just hold off until the next session.

>>26280579
Oh, I have some coyotes who live in my yard actually. They come by every so often. My dogs don't like them much at all.
>>
>>26280651
I really, REALLY would like to teach the young'uns to hunt.

>>26280663
We're running out of time, man. I don't know what to tell you.
>>
>>26280651
Possibly we can expose Ssai to other things as well. Art, history, magic, inventing, blacksmithing, tailoring, masonry. There's no end to what she could possibly do. It's about seeing her talents and allowing her what she needs to grow.

>dAwasd See
Captcha, you gotta catch up here, there's more then cute movement in this quest
>>
>>26280695
Yeah, might be a bit late to start. Maybe next time, during a planned Echo break.
>>
>>26280695
Exactly what I was thinking. We do some training, some hunting, some personal talk about their new lives and aspirations, and general quality time with another member of our species.
>>
>>26280727
Well, I'd like to hear it, but yeah, you should probably stick it in sometime tomorrow. Also give me the gist of it now so that I can imaaaagine.
>>
>>26280663
>So I've got this sidestory about the sorts of things that happen while we're away from Stone Hall.

Go ahead. Have fun. Love to flesh out more of the world.
>>
>>26280712
The only problem is we don't know much outside of paladining and hunting. We could introduce them to our friends in various fields, but we have friends in those fields for a reason. We are not skilled at all in them.

>>26280730
That would just be a blast. I see no reason Ssah couldn't tag along with some of the less dangerous activities.

Though they're probably WAY better at fishing than us. We're snakes raised on the land, and they've survived in the water.
>>
>>26280778
We teach them to hunt, they teach us to fish.
>>
>>26280815
With a hot-rock break during the hottest part of the day.
>>
>>26280778
It's a good thing to teach them basics, but our calling is a Paladin. We also have skills as a hunter.

But really, it doesn't mean they can't do whatever they want, and I think they should achieve whatever they can. Expose them to things, see what they enjoy or gravitate to.
>>
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>>26280833
I'd be proud if one became a spellcaster. Or inventor. Or soldier. Or butcher, or hunter, or... most jobs.
>>
>>26280875
Well, I guess we'll just have to see what their interests are first.
>>
>>26280892
Wonder if they've mastered reading yet. They seemed to get language down in a snap.
>>
>>26280741
I'll give you the current version of the introduction, open for critique. I'm especially concerned because I tried for a different style of writing than I usually do.

It was a cool afternoon when I met her, and the faint breeze smelled like after-rain and pines and lavender. It gave me a knot in my throat, and an electric tingle like what I had felt as I huddled against the heavy downpour and lightning during the storm that had just passed. The mountains and hills still echoed with thunder. The lavender in the field swayed gently, blown about by the wind. The stones had all the dust washed off them, and shone smooth in the sun as it fell through a gap in the clouds.

Her hair was wet, and I could see even at a distance there were drops glistening on her skin. They scattered the sunlight that passed through them in a display that would make some of the more zealous followers of the Light think they had seen a saint. Her head turned slowly. Her eyes narrowed.

She knew I was there.


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