"Oh, hell no." The brown-haired mechanic says as she looks over the paint-splattered tanks of Oorai's Senshado team.You Commander Russells, of the M26E1 Pershing Heavy Tank "Black Jack" and while a good time was had by all, the Automotive Club that is serving as the team's repair and maintainance team is not amused by the idea of scrubbing down five tanks covered in (thankfully water-soluable) multi-colored paint. The girls, if their excited chatter was anything to go by, had fun out in the field, yet again. This was a good sign- ultimately tanking, at least in sports, was about going out and having fun. Sotoko looks over at you. "We're already putting together that British erector set back together for you, now you want us to clean a bit of paint off your tanks too?" She harumphs and turns to head back over to the Excelsior's chasis, elevated off the floor by several heavy pieces of wood- the Meteor V12 suspended on heavy chains above the engine compartment. "Clean 'em yourself!">Find Miho, congratulate her on an excellent idea for practice.>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.>Other
>>26222087>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.
>>26222087>Find Miho, congratulate her on an excellent idea for practice.once this is accomplished>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.Then become the sudmonster
>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.
>>26222087>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.then>Find Miho, congratulate her on an excellent idea for practice.we can do both.also. i think that paint is water solvent. so we just need a hose to wash it off... i think.that and Blackjack, are you been held up at work? you ok buddy? do you need to move these quests to another day?
>>26222087>Find Miho, congratulate her on an excellent idea for practice.>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.Also tell the Auto club that everyone will be cleaning the tanks.
>>26222087>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.Maybe we should try to stop constantly pissing off the mechanics while we're at it.
>>26222087>Find Miho, congratulate her on an excellent idea for practice.>"we weren't going to make you wash our tanks..."
>>26222262We didn't even do anything this time.
>>26222262>having a giant mechanical beast of fire and destruction>not pissing off your mechanicsUsually choose one...although in this case we should all wash our tanks ourselves
>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.>OtherWe wren't going to make you wash them.
>"we weren't going to make you wash our tanks..."
>>26222262it's better than fixing holes in the tank I'd think
>>26222327The mechanics shouldn't even be pretending there's any chance they'd do operator-level shit like washing them, anyways, unless Anzu got them in that mindset.
>>26222087>otherGuys, i had an idea. To placate our over worked Auto club/ repair team. we have a couple of unattached male tank crews that need some girlfriends. i say we offer them up to them as new meat to help them do repairs and upgrades as well as have boyfriends. it solves a whole lot of problems!
>>26222463>diplomacy the /tg/ wayWhile amusing, not sure they'd take to it
>>26222087>SotokoYou mean Satoko, right?>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.GUTS!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayS-dziR6b0>>26222262>>26222327>>26222408Well I don't even know where the oil filter lies.But I'll tell you "Fix it faster, god dammit!" 'cause I'm the one who flies!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYLPoTNnKAk
>>26222542I was just waiting for someone to post that
>>26222463>>26222513"I have a radioman and a loader I can spare if you need some dumb muscle for a bit."
>>26222087>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.>Other"We came into this knowing we were going to clean them ourselves."HAHA time for more washing!
hey Guys, Guys...You know everyone was going on about going Beefcake....The time has come...
>>26222586IT HAS COME INDEED! we made this mess, we should clean it up.>>26222513their objections are of no conisquence. the Auto Club keeps us alive and rolling. we need them happy. sacrifiese needs to be made some times.
>>26222685I meant the Auto club, not our crew.
>>26222719still, even if the Auto club don't want them as boy friends, i am sure they wouldn't mind having extra hands to help.
>>26222087>>Find Duck Team, introduce them to their new ride.And then give the Automotive club a grin that would fill the Cheshire cat with envy and say "Gladly."Clean tank or no, we have already won.
>>26222908......i just realized something. what if the duck team does not want to leave their I-go? well, we have a new tank, and the Auto club is here.... SOOOOO.... what if we bring in the Auto club in our new tank until we find the Tiger P? (by god, we need to find that monster ASAP!)
>>26222087>Find Miho, congratulate her on an excellent idea for practice.Disregard the proletariat, mingle with the panzer elite.
>>26223232hopefully we get to them before the stockholm syndrome does
>>26223259I love Sabaton.
>>26223262it's probably already too late. we need that GUTS for the pravda fight.
>>26223320We desperately need to introduce Yukari to them.Mainly because the mental image of a cute Japanese schoolgirl humming We Burn gives me horrible twisted giggle fits.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wik-Xv9uD7I
>>26223262>>26223415Really, it's more Battered Spouse Syndrome.
>>26223232I just realized something else: What if Anzu's already recruited a new team for the Excelsior?
>>26223418THROUGH THE GATES OF HELLAS WE MAKE OUR WAY TO HEAVENTHROUGH THE KURO LINES
>>26223456Russels' imouto inc
>>26223418Is that a Power Metal song about the Bosnian genocide?
>>26223456i can see that. Anzu jumped ahead and pulled in the Sodoko team (she has some influence over her i guess)
>>26223534as she does a flying body tackle/GLOMP on Russel.
As Satoko walks away you turn to Patrick and Richard milling around. Your look says it all."Wait... You actually want us to..." Richard says glancing back at the paint-splattered Black Jack.A great commander knows when to lead by example. "Stop whining. It's not even close to dried on yet!" You say as you turn to head for Duck Team's tank. You're only a good commander. "Better get a hose on it!" You call back to your driver and radioman as their faces fall. Okay, you're alright.You find Duck Team already hard at work scrubbing their little I-Go down. "Ladies!" You announce. "Your attention please!" You try to ignore the fact that volleyball uniforms are not entirely opaque when wet. You do a decent job of it. "What's up, Russells?" Noriko says, crimping the hose to talk to you. "We've got twenty minutes before class and Satoko's wrath is going to be scary if she has to finish cleaning." She looks over at the corner where the Excelsior is being assembled. "What are they up to, anyway?">"Actually, that's what I'm here about...">"Um. Might want to switch into some, er, dry clothes before class...">Other.
>>26223676Sorry, but introducing the MC's little sister mid-season is Planefag's thing.
>>26223907>"Actually, that's what I'm here about..."Don't acknowledge the shirts. Gameface
>>26223907>"Actually, that's what I'm here about..."Also, tfw no mid-season imouto
>>26223907>"Actually, that's what I'm here about..."
>>26223907>"Actually, that's what I'm here about..."I hope they like it~!
>>26223973What?>implying all of Rabbit team isn't imouto-tier.
>>26223907>>"Actually, that's what I'm here about..."
>>26224015Not incestious enough.
>>26223934so no imoutos then?>>26223907>"Actually, that's what I'm here about..."we don't mind if the girls go out wet, don't we?
>>26223907>A great commander knows when to lead by example.>You're only a good commander.>Okay, you're alright.I see what you did there, Cap'n Tightpants.>"Actually, that's what I'm here about..."
>>26224015there is no Merlin like bond here with the Rabbit team. so no imouto here.
>>26224125Well, that sounds like something we need to work on...along with spending inordinate amounts of time being Patton to the History teamI just want more Oreo
>>26224221>I just want more OreoYou ain't the only one friend
>>26224221>>26224320While I personally desire more Saemonza, I believe we can put aside our minor differences and present a united front as Historyfags.What say you?
>>26224221>>26224320>YFW she's who Roy's on the phone with at night
>>26224364You have my axe!
>>26224398...Hey Roy...come here a second...
>>26224364works for me
>>26224398That'd make things simpler and it'd ensure some pairs are spared. Hopefully Roy knows how good she is.
>>26224518Why? We've already activated some awesome flags with Yukari.
>>26224661it's too bad it'd be way meta for us to call him out on said fact
>>26224666Russell x Yukari! OTP! enough said.
>>26224320You can never have too much Oreo.
Still holding out on the waifuing till nonna. But lets get the ducks to their new home.
>>26225223You tratiorous commie scum!
>>26225320Strong babies are needed for katyusha's tanks!
>>26225429Especially that KV-2 she likes so much...That dropped from a frontal assault by the IV and Stug.
>>26225223Oh my...not a bad idea.
You smile. "So you noticed it already, eh?"Noriko nods. "Sort of hard to miss..." It was taking up a fairly large chunk of the repair area, what with it's various parts and components spread out on the ground- hell the track and suspension system took up the same space as an entire other tank."Well, gather your crew- you can finish cleaning later!" You're excited- it's sort of like being at another kid's birthday party and knowing that they're opening your present- the BEST present- next! "Ever heard of the Excelsior program?" You say, fully ready to start regurgitating various facts that Yukari had mentioned once she'd figured out what it was.Noriko shakes her head, but whistles and gestures for the Volleyball club to follow. So far so good on ignoring the wet clothes problem. You lead them over to the disassembled British tank.>Vomit facts.>So, this is going to be your new tank.>"I'm sorry... the wet t-shirts are really distracting..."
>>26225517>So, this is going to be your new tank.empiricism picalve
>>26225517>Vomit facts.Then end it with>So, this is going to be your new tank.
>>26225517>So, this is going to be your new tank.Gauge their reaction on how well they take to it. If they bite, give them the straight facts.
>>26225479Well...the KV-2 wasn't really a tank either. >>26225517>>So, this is going to be your new tank.We can regurgitate facts for them later. Let them take in one thing at a time.Also:>"I'm sorry... the wet t-shirts are really distracting..."We're only a good commander, else we'd not mention it and let the others get an eye-full...which will end poorly.
>>26225517>So, this is going to be your new tank. Probably. Unless Anzu's pulled some more shit and recruited a team for it already. ::shift pants a bit to try to hide chub::
>>26225517>>So, this is going to be your new tank.>>"I'm sorry... the wet t-shirts are really distracting..."Meh, let's give them both good news and bad all in one dump.
Well girls, this is your new tank. If you have ANY questions about it, do not be afraid to ask!(Pleaseaskpleaseaskpleaseaskpleaseask.)
>>26225517>So, this is going to be your new tank.
>26225517>So, this is going to be your new tank.Ignore the wet shirts. the only wet shirt we will look at is our beloved Yukari's
>>26225517>So, this is going to be your new tank.>Vomit facts.
>>26225517>>Vomit facts.>>So, this is going to be your new tank.
>>26225517>Splooge facts>>26225624Kliment, why are you not in gulag?
>>26225975http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LeqzHJRxC0The power of metal set me free, comrade.
>>26225517>>So, this is going to be your new tank.
>>26225596For the love of God do this.
Has anybody got that gif of Miho's thousand-yard stare spliced with the 'Nam pics?
>>26225517>[x] So, this is going to be your new tank.
You gaze across the tank-pieces strewn across the hanger floor. "This, Duck Team, is the A33 Excelsior." You say, sweeping your arm across the, admittedly, unimpressive collection of pieces. "It's a modified Cromwell, essentially, same engine and hull, with much better armor protection."The volleyball players are mostly just staring at you. You do an excellent job of keeping your gaze above shoulder-level. "Cromwell?" Shinobu says, "Those things could move!" She looks a bit excited."It's got some extra armor, so it's not quite as fast as Cromwell. Actually has a very good balance of mobility and protection- would've been an excellent tank- which is why, of course, the British ignored it and made more Churchills and Cromwells." You sigh- you're not even really a history buff and you exactly how bad the British leadership was when it came to tanks- years into World War II, when it was obvious that the Cruisder/Infantry tank duality didn't work and was getting people killed, they kept the Churchill around instead of scrapping the design for something better simply because they didn't want to embarass their leader by admitting that the tank they named after him was useless for maneuver warfare."Retards." You say under your breath."What's that?" Akebi, their gunner, says."Nothing. Anyway, it's got a pretty good gun, too- High Velocity 75mm." You shrug. "Pretty much on par with the 75mm on the StuG.""So, why the guided tour?" Noriko says after a few seconds. You turn and look at them. (In the eyes!) "Well, once the Automotive club gets done with it, it's going to be your team's tank." You toss a glance over at the I-Go. "No offense, but the I-Go would never be useful against the tanks we're expecting to see. So I made a bet with Darjeeling..." The volleyball team isn't quite cheering yet, but they're suddenly very interested in their new tank, moving about the parts and chatting excitedly.>You've got twenty minutes before class, what do you want to do?
>>26227150Let everyone know the time and that class is starting soon.
>>26227150>Is Darjeeling still skulking around?>Failing that, we find that Miho we talked about earlier.
Is that a fucking Tiger P?
>>26227205You must be fun at parties.
>>26227246Oh shut up Katanashi.
>>26227248Is that fake or is it actually in the show?
>>26227150Try to help them clean up their tank a bit, since we distracted them. Also boobs.
>>26227150>You've got twenty minutes before class, what do you want to do?Two things. First congratulate all the teams. Second, there's still the small matter of the Anglerfish Dance to tackle.
>>26227267It's in the show
>>26227267It's actually in the show.
>>26227150Let's be late for class. >Help clean up the tanks.Time to meet student disciplinary committee
>>26227301And also gets plot armor second only to Miho's, withstanding multiple point blank shots to its unangled side from Panthers and Tiger IIs.
>>26227370But it was angled. Sure Kuromorimine tried to get shots at them from the unangled side but those tanks got blasted.
>>26227150>engage beefcake mode and clean tanks.
>>26227370Breathe, son, breathe... It's just a "cute girls doing cute things" anime that hapeens to include tanks. Anything related to realism was thrown out of the window loooong before the show even started.
>>26227608This sounds amusing. Lets do it. Only fair since we have been getting our share of oggling in.
>>26227757And we need to be fair to our team mates.
>>26227370Kuromorimine is completely useless without Maho micromanaging their every action. Individual skill on that team varies between poor and abysmal. Which makes them the perfect final boss for the individually skilled underdog to face
>>26228086Kuromoris work fantastically when nothing too unexpected happens though.
>>26228193I still say we should try and poach her for Season 2.
>>26228086Is that some Forbidden Love™ in the middle there?
>>26228193>Battle plans>Surviving contact with the enemyKuromorimine needs a new coach.
>>26228086Yeah, nah, you're exaggerating. Most girls of Kuromorimine are pretty skilled. However their whole battle philosophy is "Follow Orders to the letter!". Any show of initiative is severly punished.Miho knows this, and that's why her whole battle plan is to isolate her sister's command tank.
>>26228247Pretty funny how Kuromorimine is considering how some people would find it their dream team.
You know, next time we use that I-Go in a battle, we should just give it paint rounds. AP doesn't do shit anyway. Goin all Oddball on the enemy will first of all nullify their camouflage.Second, if they hit optics and vision ports, they can seriously cripple a tank to be finished off by others. If paint rounds arent approved, we should get them approved.
I don't know, since Ooarai's team seems to be "Prototypes! Prototypes everywhere!" Team, we perhaps should consider attempting getting our hands on this jewel of German engineering...
>>26228381And then everyone went deaf.Forever.
>>26228381I don't think self-propelled artillery pieces are allowed.
>>26228381Screw that....TOGS! ALL TOGS!THERE ARE NO BRAKES ON THE RAPE TRAIN!
>>26228468You, sir, speak blasphemy!HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE CHURCH OF TOG!
>>26228489TOGs are shit without a hitpoint system to balance them. As big as a Maus, but with less speed, gun, and armor.
Well, now that the Volleyball team has been introduced to their new tank, it's time to congratulate Miho on a job well done with this morning's game of hide-and-seek. As you walk between the tanks, though, you start to notice something. All the girls have stopped what they were doing and are staring at something.You shake your head, heading for Miho's Panzer IV. "Miho!" You call. "Hey, that hide-and-seek idea..." Miho's standing above the Panzer IV's driver hatch and she's been rinsing the same, unsplattered portion of hull for about seven seconds, staring at something. Behind her, Saori and Hana have idling stopped scrubbing with their mops. "Miho?" You blink. "Hey!"Miho finally comes to with a start. "Oh! Commander! Hello!""What the hell is going on up there?" You say, craning your neck towards where they were looking. Thats when you finally get a good look at what the girls of Oorai have been ogling- Patrick and Richard, standing on opposing sides of Black Jack's turret spraying each other with their hoses. They're wearing the plain white dress shirts that the guys had been using as school uniforms. The effect was that very little was left to the imagination.>Aw hell no... "Patrick! Richard! BACK TO WORK!">Get in on the water fight!>Ignore it- try to keep Miho's attention.
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!YEE-HAAAAW!
>>26228525Only one true path, WATER FIGHT!
>>26228247>Miho jumped out of the turret>The driver just stopped in the openNo, they're just bad.
>>26228525>Aw hell no... "Patrick! Richard! BACK TO WORK!"
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!Screw class, it's time to give the ladies some fanservice!
>>26228525Water FightBeefcake modo, ENGAGEDU
>>26228525>OtherGrab a hose and stand there with your thumb on the hose making a jet and just spray them down till they stop...then spray them a little bit more
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight and have rose play appropriate music!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqtb3jmAzi4
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!Remove shirt, wield water.Time for epic.
>>26228435I don't see why not. Rules state: The tanks used must have been designed or produced before August 15 1945, which is the end of World War Two.If they authorizes SPG's based on tanks chassis like the STUG and the different Jagd(inser mark here), they'd have to authorize the Sturmtiger. I believe self-propelled artillery is simply ignored because they're just bad at tank-destroying, since they're supposed to fire HE shells indirectly from their short-bore guns. Now when you have a 380mm rocket launcher as weapon, such concerns become... trivial!
>>26228603If we are going to go that style of music better to go withSaturday Night's Alrighthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSA_RLCriHs
>>26228516You dare question the innate invulnerability of the TOG? It shall bounce all puny shots, even from puny Maus with it's sheer TOGness!
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!The time for beefcake has come.
>>26228635>>26228603>Not the superior MANly songhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSUW-Z_Cnc0
>>26228615I believe the reason why most SPGs are ignored, including a lot of the American ones is because all vehicles must have fully enclosed crew compartments, and the little flimsy field-add-on of the Hellcats, Jacksons, and Wolverines don't cut it.Every crew member must be in an enclosed space for safety reasons.
>>26228525That started out great with getting to Miho.But then mfw I slowly realize that beefcake had indeed not been averted.
>>26228381Knowing our luck with prototypes we'll find the only produced O-I in the very bottom of the carrier.
>>26228635Saturday Night's Alright is a great song, but it's more a party song, while Playin' With the Boys is a beefcake song.>>26228659Bearforce 1 doesn't have the manic energy for this kind of thing.
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!Gotta bag that Yukari.
>>26228567Miho wanted to rescue her teammates from drowning, sue her...
>>26228715Oh, so we want manic energy?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ
>>26228525Hey, >>26228719 again. If they drench us, I propose we one-up them and take off our shirt on grounds of it being 'cold'. Maybe flex a little before returning the favour.
>>26228749manic energy huh?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyAP6PpAzK8
>>26228763>Not posting the best>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w9PukG97oQ
>>26228755Except that then Rich would do the same and make us look like a manlet.90mm shells are HEAVY so he's probably pretty thoroughly ripped.
>>26228305Smoke canisters and highlighter yellow paint.
>>26228603I dunno man, since it's a SHOWER of WATER, and there are no volleyballs in sight, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_6x3EW3FC0 probably makes more sense.I'm not kidding, this song continued past the sex scene into the Navy's communal shower room. I almost died laughing.
>>26228809He's the buff dude, we're the athletic one. Win-win!
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!time for some all-american angus
>>26228809I'm still hanging onto the hope that MC is androgynous enough that he could trap his way onto the FREEDOM carrier as a spy.Slap a wig on him and he'd pass for Kay's distant cousin.And instead of stealing Yukari's thunder, bump into her while she's there on the same spying mission for extra shenanigans.
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!
>>26228874Nah, we used that song for when we have a nice, erotic scene with Yukari either on top of or inside of BlackJack
>>26228874We have to save Take My Breath Away for when we inevitably boink Kay. What? Out of the Garupans, she looks the most like Charlie.
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!Why?Why not.
>>26228896>Yukari/MC/Kay threesomeI am all kinds of okay with this.
>>26228924>Fucking in our Grandfather's TankSure, why not? I bet he did it. Hell, as far as we know, our father may have been CONCEIVED in that tank.
>>26228924On top! Trust me on this one! Yeah we might be seen, but few things kill the mood quicklier than bumping in any sharp and/or protuding implement with any part of your anatomy. And the insides of a tank is cramped and full of those!
>>26228525>Get in on the water fight!WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS AND ASSERT DOMINANCE OVER OUR CREW.
>>26228973As far as we know WE were conceived in that tank.
>>26228984Assuming Rose doesn't join the fighting, then...
>>26228990The MC is now acutely aware of his parents and grandparents having had sex at some point.Bonus: So are you.
>>26228973Hell, WE may have been concieved in that tank
>>26229017Doesn't bother me. I grew up listening to my grandpa share his stories of what a sexy little thing my grandma was. I remember one particular thanksgiving where he went into pretty... graphic detail.
>>26227150the churchill wasn't actually named after Winston, iirc. It was named after some Duke who was his distant ancestor.
>>26229056But only a few people know that so the end result is the same
>>26228990>>26228973And so we have returned to our breeding ground like the noble salmon, ready to start the cycle once again.
>>26229102No, we are not SalmonWe are Grizzly!Like noble Bear-Father, and noble Bear-Father's-Father before him, We return to ancestral stream to catch the rare Waifu Salmon
>>26229102Aye... We now only need to select a suitable mate. More than one is fine too!
>>26229102>An unrelated lesbian pair wind up knocking legs inside Black Jack for some reason.>As per the family tradition, they fall pregnant
>>26229148B-but, salmon mate 4lyfe ;_;
>>26229157>RoseXSaoriNot sure why, I just really want this to happen.
>>26229158And? We can have multiple mates for life you know. Worked for Tenchi. Yes, according to the series' creator, he marries them all. Except for Ryo-Ohki.
>>26229183The problem occurs when they have to share.
>>26229158The only reason salmon mate for life is because they fucking die after mating. We, fortunately, do not suffer from such a handicap.
>>26229251At this rate, we'll be dead before the next post even arrives!
>>26229145But comrade, bears eat salmon they catch!
>>26229197Again, it worked out pretty fine for Tenchi.Didn't work out so well for Seina though. Couldn't keep his bitches in line. Boy needs an intervention.
"Dammit!" You say heading towards Black Jack. "God DAMMIT! OI! I TOLD YOU TWO TO-" You don't get the rest of the sentence out before they simultaneously turn their hoses on you, drenching you from head to toe. You spit out a mouthful of water before returning to Miho. "The Hose, please?" You say, knowing that your shirt is just as soaked as your driver and radioman's. Miho stares at you and nods, handing over her hose without a word."Thank you!" You say politely, crimping the house while you walk over towards Black Jack. "YOU TWO ARE DEAD!" You say, thumbing the hose expertly and sending a high-pressure stream of water into Richards face. He returns fire, but his momentary distraction allows your radioman to douse him in the side of the head.Rose is sitting off to the side, shaking her head and pinching her brow. The other girls are staring like they've never seen soaking wet foreign guys spraying each other with water on top of a tank before. (Come to think of it, it's entirely likely they haven't.) You couldn't care less at this point.
>>26229291>You bet they do
>>26229291>implying we won't be eating our mates>>26229297NEXT TIME ON GIRLS UND SLOW UPDATES QUEST!
NEXT TIME ON GIRLS UND PANZER QUEST!>You asked for it!>You got it!>BEEFCAKE!>Also we're late for class and soaking wet.Girls und Panzer Quest will return at 6PM tomorrow. None of this pussy-footing around with "around 6PM." I'm posting on time tomorrow and we're going to have a full thread!
>>26229320Try the Nazi's or IJA in fantasyland quests. Blackjacks turtle pace is lightyears faster than that pair of dripping tar quests. (Not that they are bad just SLOW)
>>26229332Follow me on twitter for schedule updates and to know when the thread goes live!https://twitter.com/BlackJackGuPQ
>>26229332We'll hold you to that!
>>26229332Hey so what's everyone's estimates on how "receptive" to our "advances" all the girls will be now that they've seen our manly glory?
Do note that as far as fish analogues go, we are dating an anglerfish. A species that causes their males to shrivel up into a shiny pair of testicles and assimilate them to their body.
>>26229355Saemonza and Oreo will likely appreciate that we have the physique of a warrior.
>>26229365Well, hoping on dating at any rate.
>>26229365And that, my friends, is why the Anglerfish dance makes it so a girl can't get married.And also why we should go after a hippo instead.
>>26229384Or an eagle.
>>26229387Sadly, I don't see Kay getting much screentime. But a Saemonza is fine too.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzzYINmiGFk
>>26229365which is why we avoid anglerfish team.ducks, on the other hand, have crazy maze vaginas
>>26229355Remember the whole "love letters slipped into lockers" mentioned last thread?Chances of it actually happening just increased exponentially!
>>26228669STuG's were assault guns and most american early-mid war tank hunters were gun motor carriges(M4A3 105mm Shermans had this designation as well). >>26228704I shudder to think of what terrors are down there. A Panzer IV Schmalturm or a Panzer VII Löwe maybe?Or worse...this beast.
>>26230301Or even a T95.Jesus.
>>26230328Same tank, just different name designation.The Maus just thought it had thick frontal armor.On another note, this thing was a lot smaller than I thought.
>>26230301It'd be hard to find one of those lying around, the IV "Schmallturm" and the Löwe never got past the drawing board stage.And crew exposure is a valid reason to refuse some models, but it wouldn't apply in the case of the Sturmtiger since it's basically a Tiger tank with more armor everywhere and a fuckhueg fixed rocket launcher instead of a turret.
>>26233305A panther 2 on the other hand was made. . .well, at least the parts of it were made.
>>26227150>would've been an excellent tank- which is why, of course, the British ignored it and made more Churchills and Cromwells." You sigh- you're not even really a history buff and you exactly how bad the British leadership was when it came to tanks- years into World War II, when it was obvious that the Cruisder/Infantry tank duality didn't work and was getting people killed, they kept the Churchill around instead of scrapping the design for something better simply because they didn't want to embarass their leader by admitting that the tank they named after him was useless for maneuver warfare.Confirmed for knowing nothing about British tank historyDo you even Bovington? The Excelsior was cancelled because it had a ton of problems including massive crew safety issues. Paper stats don't make a reality. The Churchill was found to be superior after its upgrades to the Mk7 onward, more reliable and protected its crew better. (Eventually having one of the best crew safety records of the war)I guess she just doesn't know.
>>26233447You're thinking of the A38 Valient.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valiant_tankThe Excelsior was created because the early-mark Churchills were so undergunned, underpowered and underarmored against most German anti-tank weapons that they were completely ineffective even in an infantry support role.The Excelsior was created to replace the Churchill, however the guys in charge of ordering which tanks got to go into production didn't want to cancel production of a tank that was named after Winston Churchill in the middle of the war, fearing the political and morale backlashes that could happen.Ultimately, by the time the Excelsior was completed and ready to move into production, the most glaring problems on the Churchill has been smoothed out to make it at the very least not a complete deathtrap.
>>26233881No, no I'm not thinking of the Valiant at all, that had its own problems. The Excelsior had its own host of errors, most notably that the replacement armour they used spalled the fuck out of the crew on even the most minor impacts. There's a reason that crews never trusted it enough to warrant it being pushed through even in a supportive role to the Churchill. Great tank designs don't just get tossed aside without good reason at that point. The Churchill Mk7's were proving themselves much better as they could mount petard motars, flamethrowers, bridge layers and all sorts of other things that the Excelsior could not and had heavier armour and a more stable gun mount and crew area to boot that had began to prove itself in Italy a lot more.The Excelsior would ahve been better than the early Church's, but the later one was just a better tank, it could do more jobs and was already in the logistics train, which is a vastly important point that is often missed. The Excelsior would only have added a new tank that had only one purpose rather than the multi-task vehicle the British needed.tl;dr - The whole "not used because of idiocy hurr durr" is a myth at best and just downright wrong at worst that often gets crossed over with when the considerations of the Churchill being replaced were discussed, but parliment itself never actually considered the moral aspect of it, that was just some fringe line idiots screaming party talk.
>>26233959From what I've read, (Mainly Fletcher's "The Universal Tank." http://depositfiles.com/files/12hxb8jm3 ), the Excelsior never made it to armor testing. where armor spalling issues would've been apparent. The first prototype, using the American T1/M6 suspension had completed a 1000mi testing run, and was considered very reliable, however the second 1000mi test was far less successful.By the time the second prototype using a home-grown suspension from Royles-Royce was brought to testing, the A33 program had already been effectively cancelled because, as you said, the Churchill had finally reached a design phase where it could actually perform in combat. (Albiet mainly in an infantry support role- as far as I can tell the Churchill had never been satisfactory in an anti-tank role, even with the later marks.)
>>26234958With due respect, the only British tank who performed satisfactorily in an anti-tank role is the Firefly!> B... but t..that's an American tankMyy point exactly!
>>26234985>Wot is Challenger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cruiser_Mk_VIII_Challenger)>Wot is Comet>>26234958Pretty much what I was saying really, just it's very very inaccurate to say that it's a mistake of the British to not put it into service or that it was a "bad" choice of the top brass. To have done so would have been a huge mistake. Resources weren't unlimited at that point and throwing a whole new logistical challenge for the Excelsior would have left them with a tank using the same gun on a less stable turret with less armour that could only do combat and not the myriad of other tasks they required that were filled by the AVRE, Crocodile etcAll they would have gained was a bit of speed, which was eventually considered a fair trade off for the masses of advantages the Churchill VII onward brought.In essence, they would have sacrificed a lot of money, time and resources and gained a less capable platform by the end of it.I just don't think it's correct to be saying the way you did (even if in character) that it's a part of them being consistently stupid. Remember they did produce some of the war's best ideas in tanks toward the end of it and had far superior anti-tank capability tank for tank than the Americans did.As a note, the spall problem was from people going "Um, that would do that y'know?" They knew it long before testing, as I mentioned Bovington above, their curator gave us a little chat on the tank once and he denoted that. They knew ahead of time it'd need redesigned.Don't get me wrong, I think it could have did well in support of the Cromwell, once they sorted out its own armour and other problems. Just unfortunately they had limited resources and a lot of requirements to fill. You go to war with what you have to, not with what you want to as they say.
>>26235236>Wot is ChallengerA 17-pounder equipped Cromwell variant that was too hard to convert compared to the amount of retrofit work necessary to install said gun in the much more readily available Sherman tank (thank you Amurrica). It was built in so absurdly low numbers that it had no impact whatsoever on the outcome of the war.>Wot is CometA solid design, but that entered service so late in the war it did barely participate in it.
>>26235333You said merely that there were no others that could perform an anti-tank role to the satisfactory requirement. The Challenger did it superior than the Firefly and was better loved by crews while the Comet was also satisfactory. By the stint of the claim, they were satisfactory and could do anti-tank. You can't make a claim then go "Oh, um, wait a sec I actually meant this!" and backpedal when someone calls you out on it.Lastly, the Firefly was pretty much defined by its British gun and turret anyway given the American varients were so unbelievably shit so I'd hardly consider it something to harp on the freedom-boner express with.
>>26235531>You said merely that there were no others that could perform an anti-tank role to the satisfactory requirement.Aye. One was present in such small numbers it didn't do shit, and the other only joined the fighting too late to participate meaningfully. I stand by what I said, the only british tank to perform satisfactorily during the war is the Firefly.>Lastly, the Firefly was pretty much defined by its British gun and turret anyway.Granted. The second part of my original post was baiting rather than serious, since the efficiency of the Firefly against enemly armor stemmed from it's (british) 17 pounder gun.
>>26235658Fair enough. Your post with 'satisfactory' I took as "Was the only tank that could satisfactory kill another tank with satisfactory regularity in a firefight" so read my reply in that sense.