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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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Hey /tg/. A few days ago there was a thread about Psykers and we somehow got on the topic of a Psyker and a Techpriest being forced to interact with each other and the relationship blooming from that. Well, I promised some of you guys that would write a story about that and after a pretty hectic weekend, I did exactly that. Hopefully some of you like it. Without further ado, I present to you a tale. A tale of Techpriests and Telepaths.
The heavy clang of metal on metal announced the approach of Enginseer Litilus down the corridors of the Rogue Trader vessel The Gilded Ambition long before his crimson robe came into the view of the confused serfs and crewmen crowding the hallways and watching the fuming techpriest from the corner of their eye. As he replayed his previous conversation in his head (literally, as his augmetic eye was implanted recording functions), his rage only increased. Litilus could still hear the smug voice of the Rogue Trader ringing in what used to be his ears…


Litilus had just made his way to the bridge. The owner of the vessel, Lord Captain Regis Flavius Jean Claude van Calrissan III, had just returned with his personal retinue from whatever banal errand it is Rogue Traders occupy their time with. Usually this meant a great deal of work for Litilus: scrap for him to sort through, injured to replace the limbs of, machinery and weaponry to fix, and half a dozen other odd jobs. But this time the Lord Captain had personally summoned him to the bridge, as to why the techpriest could only guess. When the doors opened for him he found himself staring at the back of the magnificently adorned Trader, a glass of unknown but undoubtedly expensive liquid in one hand as he gazed out of the observation pane.

"You called for me, sir?" Litilus asked, his synthetic voice cutting through the air and earning him van Calrissan’s attention.

"Ah, yes! Litilus, was it? I need you to look after a certain member of our happy little vessel and her well being aboard this vessel. A certain psyker girl, by the name of…"

"Akadia, milord." His seneschal flatly interjected

"Akadia! That’s the ticket! Many thanks, my dear Percival."

"My name is Callidon, milord. It always has been."
"Quite right, Percival, quite right. Anyways, Litilus, that last sortie of ours took quite a lot out of our little Akadia, so I think a little company would do her nicely!"

Litilus remained silent for a full minute, trying to process the information he had just been given. "…begging your pardon, sir, but I don’t see why you have chosen me. I have many more pressing duties to attend to and do not have the time waste on frivolous social interaction when-"

"Nonsense, my boy! You of all people should know the benefit of something working at full capacity! And let me tell you, that girl works wonders when she puts her mind to it – do you see what I did there, Percival? It’s what we gentlemen call a pun!"

"Your mastery of Gothic knows no bounds, milord."

"Quite right, Percival, quite right."

Litilus tried to force his way back into the increasingly one-sided conversation "If I may interrupt, I would like to ask again why you chose me. This task falls from my area of exper-"

"Oh, pish posh, my boy! Just think of her as one of those machine spirits you love so much that needs oiling! In fact, I would like you to go pay our dear friend Akadia a visit once a week from now on. Now off you go!"

"But sir-"

"Not another word from you! Off you go! Come now, it’ll be fun!"


He spat at the memory. Or would have spat, if he still had lips. Or any sort of a lower jaw. He settled for vocalizing the gesture from the mouthpiece that dominated so much of his face.

"Like that flamboyant egotist knows anything about the work I do! I didn’t sign up just to babysit some Omnissiah damned psyker! 'Just think of her as a machine that needs oiling', he says, 'You of all people should know the benefit of a something working at full capacity' he says! Like some miserable wretch can compare to the serenity of placating the machine spirits!"
Litilus noticed the entire corridor surrounding the door to his assignment's quarters was in disrepair and oddly absent of the bustle that filled the rest of the ship. Rolling his remaining organic eye, he rapped harshly on the portal, wanting to hurry up and get this over with. Some muffled muttering from within and voice shout "Just a minute" over the clatter of dishes was all e received before the door opened and greeted him with the visage of Akadia. Her skin was pale, too pale. He could see that those orange eyes of hers were unnaturally vibrant despite the fact that she avoided direct eye contact. The dark pits that sat underneath them only served to make them pop out that much more. Her hair was short and messy and she wore an equally messy faded purple robe. She smiled weakly at the techpriest "Did you need something from me?"

"Greetings, female. I am Enginseer Litilus. You are the one known as Akadia, correct?"

"Most folks call me Dice." Her voice was barely audible, as if she was talking mostly to herself.

"This gratuitous information is noted. Are you interested in…talking?"

Akadia’s expression shifted to one of confusion as she opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to get words to come out. "You…want to talk? With me?"

"Those are indeed the words I previously stated."

She paused for a moment, as if unsure what she was supposed to do next before exploding into frenzied motion and ushering the hapless techpriest into her quarters. "Please, come in, come in!" She sped up as she spoke, like she was trying to say everything in one breath. "I just made a fresh pot of tea and would love to share it with someone-and-you-are-the-first-person-who-ever-came-to-see-me-so-have-as-much-as-you-want."
"I don’t drink tea. I have an induction port installed within my esophagus through which I intake a nutrient paste." Litilus still stood awkwardly at the entrance to her quarters, all of his willpower focused on not running away from this entire debacle. "I cannot help but notice you already had two teacups set, no doubt a product of your psyker powers."

Akadia flustered, words failing her once more. "No, uh, actually, well…I-always-do-that."


"I'm not crazy!" She protested a little too quickly. "I'm not. I just…get lonely sometimes…"

They both sat in awkward silence, staring from opposite ends of the quaint table they had sat down at for tea. As Akadia took a long sip from her cup, Litilus scanned the room (once again, literally) with mild boredom.

"I noticed you have no cooking implements"

"Oh! Yes, that! That’s what I do. See, I can actually burn things. You know, with mind. Because I'm a psyker. And stuff."

"I can see where that could come in handy."

"Funny story! That’s actually how I got the nickname Dice! Back when I was in the Guard I may have accidentally liquefied one of my handlers or two over the years. Maybe four. Since then, some guardsmen said surviving being assigned to watch me was like throwing dice." She paused, waiting in vain for any sort of response from the techpriest that sat stiffly across from her. "I'm…not used to entertaining guests."

"That is becoming…increasingly apparent."

"In fact, this is actually the longest conversation I've had in years!"

"Unfortunately, the same holds true for me."

"I know what you mean! I just wish less people were afraid of me…"

"Allow me to correct you: I am typically able to conclude whatever business requires my congress with a meatbag long before this length of time has passed."

"Oh. Right."
She craned her neck and looked around the room, twisting in her chair. "I have some books, but those aren’t fun unless you’re the one reading them…I already made tea (By the Emperor, Akadia, you sure are a boring one)…Oh! I know! I have a voxcaster!" She leapt to her feet and began digging through her belongings. "You like music, right?"

Litilus scoffed, a noise that sounded like static. "Music is a fruitless pursuit. Much like art or freeform poetry. Honestly, I don’t see why anyone would-" His tirade was interrupted by a loud slam.

"No it’s not!" Akadia shouted, hands clenched tightly around the device she had previously sought. Her eyes seemed brighter now, as she glowered angrily at Litilus. "It’s not pointless. Music strengthens the mind and soul. It calms the bad thoughts and chases the nightmares away."

His pride would not allow him to back down. "All of which are fruitless endeavors when the weakness of flesh can just as easily be stripped away."

"With music we can sing praise to the Emperor and be reminded of his infinite mercy, even to the wrong like us psykers!"

Litilus stood up and joined her in her shouting match. "Which is nowhere near as productive as a Binary chant to Omnissiah to soothe the machine spirits into function!"

"If music is so pointless, then why would they make machines for it?! I bet if I gave you my music player, you would neglect your precious machine spirits inside of it that you think so loudly about!" Without warning, AKadia’s glare softened and she began to trip over her own words. "I'm so sorry! I-know-your-Omnissiah-must-be-important-to-you-and-I-just-called-you-a-bad-person-but-music-is-important-to-me-and-you-said-"

"You're right." Litilus admitted grudgingly.


"Were you to give me that device of yours, it would go unused. And the machine spirit would go neglected. You give it purpose I never could."


Liltus dipped one of his mechadendrites into his teacup and a multitude of figures scrolled by on his augmetic eye. "According to my sensors, your tea was brewed well within proper temperature range, contained a satisfactory tea-to-water ratio and was steeped for the suitable time interval. Were I still tied to the vulgarity of taste buds, I would likely find it delicious. I do still contain olfactory receptors, so at the least I can confirm that the aroma is pleasing."

"You really mean that?"

"You can always read my mind if you do not believe me."

"Only sometimes." She corrected as fiddled nervously with her robes. "I'm mostly just good at…you know, burning things."

"Well, rest assured, I would never lie about the accuracy of my sensors." Litilus noticed that Akadia’s eyes had started to mist up. "Oh come on, I was trying to give you a compliment!"

"No! It’s not that. It’s just…that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. In a very long time."

For a moment they just stood there, Akadia sniffling and wiping away her tears as Litilus’ mechadendrites absentmindedly fidgeted.

Not sure what to do, Litilus approached the miserable looking creature and cautiously held out two fingers, reluctantly patting her shoulder as one might a leper. "There. We have exchanged various 'small talks' and I have shown you token physical affection. I believe that is enough to constitute a friendly conversation."

Akadia giggled at this remark and threw herself at him in a hug

"You're funny. Did you know that? Thanks for being my friend. It’s nice to finally have one."

"Yes, well then. I suppose this works too. These robes were due for a wash anyways."

She giggled again and let the squirming techpriest go, watching him as he briskly made for the door like a frightened animal. Her gaze lingered on the door for a minute more after he left before she set to cleaning the dishes, humming along to the music emanating from her voxcaster.

>Just think of her as one of those machine spirits you love so much that needs oiling!

I've read enough /tg/ stories to know where this is going.

As soon as he was out of view, Litilus shook his head and attempted to smooth out his robe. That was most certainly…interesting. He had just experienced about as much unaugmented human contact as he had been privy to for the entirety of his life up until that point, all in under an hour. And the way she used his own veneration of the Omnissiah against him was far from what he expected from the frail little psyker girl he first met. What he needed now was a break, some alone time. Just him and some machinery to set his mind straight. Yet, when he found a nice spot to lean back and drift off to the soothing rumble of the ship’s engines, he could’ve sworn that somewhere in the back of his head, he could hear a feminine voice humming a tune he had never heard before in his life. The most startling part was how little this bothered him…


Lord Captain van Calrissan watched the scene between the techpriest and the psyker unfold on the pictcaster front of him with rapt amusement.

"I dare say this may turn out even more entertaining than I had previously hoped, Percival!"

"Quite, milord, though I must ask, what exactly are you hoping to accomplish here?"

Van Calrissan’s eyes never left the pictcaster as he responded to his ever present seneschal

"Those cogboys like science and experiments, right? Well now he gets to be part of the most interesting experiment mankind can know: a social experiment!"
"I'm not quite sure that’s how the Adeptus Mechanicus works, milord."

"No matter, Percival, I mostly just want to see which one snaps and blows the two of them up first."

"Shall I make arrangements for their replacements?"

"Please do, Percival. Oh! And did you see what I did back there? With the oiling? That was some expert innuendo, if I do say so myself!"

"Quite, milord."

"Though, I don’t suppose the old cogboy actually understood it…"

"Not everyone can have as refined a wit as you."

"Quite right, Percival, quite right! I can hardly wait to see what those two get up to next week."

---End of Part One---
So yeah, that's it for now. Feel free to leave comments, thoughts, criticisms, corrections, call me faggot, whatevs.
The Psyker is either pic related or Hanako. I don't know which is better/worse.
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...I forgot to attach an image. But-it's-not-like-any-of-you-care-anyways.
You're a huge fag. In a good way
You know, I've never actually read KS. I was just going for slightly frantic shutin.
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That means a lot to me, anon. It truly does.
I approve of this.
It requires a part 2.
That's good! I actually have a full plot sketched out, but I wasn't gonna bother /tg/ with it if there was no interest. Also, it might be a little while before I get to post more, since I have a hectic week ahead of me and then I gotta go visit family for a few days after that. But we shall see.
You actually wrote it?

Oh gosh
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Dear Anon,
We want more. ALL THE PARTS.
I archived your thread, OP.

This is some quality writefagging here. I can almost feel the blackened cords of twisted flesh that make up my heart being tugged.
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I said I would, didn't I?

And thanks for the feedback, everyone. You guys are the reason I write this silly bullshit.
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Well, that was heart-warming
We're always excited when people come back to us, sometimes they say they'll be here for us and go away forever. We've been hurt anon, we've been let down before.

Which is why I for one am happy you came back to us with such adorable writing, also the Rogue Trader is such a dick, I love him.

When can we expect Part 2? I'm looking for ward to it.
>When can we expect Part 2?
I honestly don't know. I'm planning on working on it tomorrow or later tonight, but I am a horrendously slow writer.
Thank you. You are a beautiful person.

>CAPTCHA: partly egerCM
And partly an eager cock-master.
>partly eager cock-master.
Sounds like the Rogue Trader.
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Oh man, I was waiting for this!
And I really like it.
Keep up the good work!
Great story, looking forward to part two!
The Lord Captain sound so much like General Melchett in my mind.
Thank you very much for the story, OP, this is great.
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Bump, you got anything for us yet OP?
It'll be this evening before I get to work on anything and even then I may not get the next part done. I can just make a new thread when the time comes.
Awesome. Someone actually wrote this.

Great job, OP. Looking forward to the next part.
Rolled 9

OP is my hero, there's no part of this I do not like.
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I can't believe i was lucky enough to not only see the birth of this idea in the other thread, but also seeing it come to live here.
Thanks op.
Dontchu 404 on me~

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