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>>26067149

It's here that you ask Sayaka if you can see it.

"Huh? What for?" Sayaka blinks. "You know what this already looks like. You were here at the apartment, right?"

Yes, but she was being a bitch then, and you didn't really get a close look at it. ...You'll pull rank if you have to.

"Dammit, don't be that kind of person, Murderface." The blue-haired Eversor scowls, before looking around. "...Well, I guess it's okay. Most of the idols've gone, anyway, and Ruri-chan's not going to be out for a bit yet..." It's here that she goes down on one knee, setting the suitcase down and undoing its locks. Two clicks and the squeak of greased hinges, and it's here that you see it again, nestled in its own customized foam inset. Blueberry Cheesecake Brownie, obviously well-maintained, its parts carefully cleaned and lovingly polished to a smooth, silken gleam.

"Here we go," Sayaka grunts as she carefully lifts it out of the inset. ...It is a beast of a thing, very nearly as long as Sayaka's tall. The firing mechanism is a misnomer - someone in Santa Destroy had taken literally 90& of an AR-15 rifle, welded it onto the sheath of a huge sword, and called it a day. The trigger, the magazine, the actual frame of the rifle is left unsubtly intact, machined only to give the entire thing a consistent silhouette.

The handle itself seems to have been modified too, with a secondary trigger jutting out of its matte black carbon frame. The trigger itself is glowing a faint red - you wonder what it's for.

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>>26067168

"This thing's crazy advanced, I don't know how they did it." Sayaka starts, with the air of a kid showing off a new toy and desperately trying to sound nonchalant. "It even has a harness that automatically shoots out and snaps onto you when you unlock it. The straps come out here, see?" She points to an innocuous-looking disc-shaped object locked to the sheath's side. "You can even set it for lefties and righties if you want, and the entire thing moves on a sliding joint so you can even have it strapped to your back." The Eversor grins at you. "Neat, huh?"

[]Ask how the triggers work.
[]Ask for a demonstration.
[]Ask if you could try it out yourself.

>>26067179
[x]Ask for a demonstration.
If the thing is going to become self-aware and attempt to strangle its wearer, I want that to be Sayaka's problem, not ours.

>>26067179
[X]Ask for a demonstration.

mmmm.... shiny new weaponry.

>>26067179
[x]Ask how the triggers work.
As beat as it is, there are still some idols around.
Besides, we don't want to be THAT ASSHOLE that's always asking to see other people's books and leaving Cheetos dust and pizza grease fingerprints everywhere.

>>26067179
[X] Ask how the triggers work

A demonstration would be too loud and trying it out would be too loud and trip her bitch mode

>>26067179
>[x]Ask how the triggers work.
>[x]Ask for a demonstration.

As for
>[]Ask if you could try it out yourself.
Let's not and say we did.

>>26067223

yes we do only with cigg ash and whiskey stains

>>26067179
>[]Ask how the triggers work.
seeing as we're most likely going to 'procure' it, we better know how it works

>>26067241

Lets not steal sayaka's precious.

At most we tease her about taking it and then immediately retun it to her.

>>26067179
>[x]Ask how the triggers work.
This tickles our gun related curiosity..

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>we took the MiGs after all

>>26067179

>[x]Ask how the triggers work
"So can you use it as a gun when you lost your blade or something"

>>26067279
we need to pull them out during a firefight sometime

>>26067279
But of course we did.
Now we just need to procure a steamroller for surprise ZA WARUDO!

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>>26067149
>>26067168
>>26067179

[x]Ask for a demonstration.
[x]Pull this face while doing it.

>>26067316
why have i not thought of this before
why have i not seen this idea before
why do i want to make it happen, haters be damned

>>26067241
If we wanted one for ourselves that badly, we could always make a request to the guys in Santa Destroy or our very own Misaka to make something for us.

Though I see no real need for it, since we have the golden weapons.

>>26067342

"Muda da." Chiaki mutters as she walks away from a flattened enemy corpse.

>>26067354
we need to get a golden battlerifle with a golden bayonet

>>26067385
Until that we can always glue Kirika's pigsticker on our DEagle.

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>>26067179
[X] Ask how the triggers work
[X] Ask for a demo once the idols are gone

I wonder if we could get a beam sword from Santa Destroy.

Guys do we have a Rock Shooter?

>>26067428

Beam rifle, better.

>>26067431
That's what we get by combining all of the Golden Weapons.
Fixed shield and Rock Shooter

>>26067428
Beam katana.

>>26067417

yes, good plan

alternatively

glue gorefather and gorechild on each of the golden hamhands

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>>26067179
>[X] Ask how the trigger works.

Asking for a demonstration is a bad idea. And asking to try it is just stupid.

Remember, if it's a gun or golden, sure we'll procure it, but that's a sword...gun...thing. We don't need it and it's like Sayaka and Kyouko's twisted love child. We should keep our hand's off.

We've got better things to put our hands on.

>>26067511

Like soft idol bottoms.

>>26067554
We should totally jack an extra idol outfit here, and give it to our best girl so she can leave her terrible sanctuary, get up on stage, and shake it like it's hot.


of course our best girl is Mami

>>26067507

Why.

The punch and already have autocannons.

>>26067592
It's almost like you want Mami to change careers and/or Ruri trying to woo her from us. We clearly need a lot of precautions if we go this way.

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>>26067511
>>We've got better things to put our hands on

molesting Midori in her sleep again?

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>>26067592
>>26067620

>>26067601

but it doesn't have a chain axe on each fist, which is just a travesty and totally unacceptable

>>26067620
Best protection vs. Ruri is to give Mami the scarred and broken remains of what used to be our heart

>>26067636
Why wait until she's asleep?

>>26067659
Pretty sure Pinky never returned it since that accident when she went knuckle-deep in our chest.

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>>26067642

>>26067671

Good point. Let's just molest Midori again.

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>>26067592
>>26067620

I don`t think she would ask Mami, because Mami would outidol any other idol on this earth.

>>26067636
>Molesting GreenGreen

The answer to that is always yes.
Though, there has been an awful lack of teasing on our side since we started this job.

So many opportunities that went by unused.

>>26067659
But we can't romance Mami until we learn to love ourself.

>>26067682
I think thats what anon meant

Maybe we could ask Faust for it back?

so has the fact that murderface's shield and gem are on the right hand instead of the left one been explained yet? and since the shield is now on the right hand, am i right to assume that murderface is a lefty in this continuum?

>>26067706
Let's offer her our love in return. That should give us enough time to snatch the remains of our heart while she stands there confused as all hell.

Rolled 5

>>26067706
Our heart belongs to pinky. Kaname Madoka is the reason why Iori never had a chance.

>>26067693
Oh Mami, when you move with such grace and poise, it's as if the sun and moon were together, rising and falling on the heavenly plane.
The whole world watches you change their universe for a second with your massive love, so beautiful, so tender, so Mami.

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>>26067705
Then we'd better bitch up and learn, toot sweet!

>>26067728
wait
what

>>26067728
We aren't the real Homura: We're a botched copy.
Whoever made us forgot which side the shield was on, and also fucked up our long-term memory so that it periodically shorts out.

>>26067728
I think it is rather vague and/or Chiaki is ambidextrous
The OP image however does show her holding the gun left handed

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ambidextrous

we're that damn good

>>26067728
Either Decu fucked up or we're the evil twin.

>>26067751
Domi Mami is the best Mami, she'll reach deep inside and make Homu feel her love in that special place.

>>26067749
You were either describing the birth of someone's true mature, unadulterated love for Mami, or her bouncing curls

>>26067761
yeah but when we witched we had full memory stored somewhere cause it went out.
no we are real homu homu
but somethings fucked with us.

>>26067774

shadowruns: both

Does anyone still remembers the message that said that Kharn is supposed to be guarding a coffin or sarcophagus for us? My memory is fuzzy about the details..

>>26067774

No, this was discussed a long time ago. The shield and soul gem on the wrong hand are on purpose. We just don't know what it means yet.

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>>26067766
>Girls in Suits

Looks like I have procured another fetish. Thanks /tg/.

>>26067799
Wasn't that a reference to the Demon in the Basement at the Siberia Branch?

>>26067774
>decu fucked up

>implying that this has not been a single unending chain of plans within plans to lead us to the ultimate ending of healing orchestrated for deculture's pleasure

>>26067825
someone just rolled a 1

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>>26067825
No other boards required.

>lemme make things awkward

nsfw

>>26067840
thought that was a 20

>>26067706
....I want to do this sometime. We don't actually have a canonical reason for doing so, but maybe Chiaki might think of it one day to at least ask as a joke/curiousity as to if she'd still have it.

And then Pinky gets mad and rips it out of us again.

>>26067851
no because its will save, and he completely flopped it hard.

>>26067728
I'm pretty sure I recall Decu mentioning that the shield and gem being on her opposite hand was an intentional design, but he didn't say why.

>>26067859
Eh, we just wake up with no memories. Murderface has forgotten who she is so many times it's lost all meaning.

>>26067845
>nsfw
lies and slander, the picture is incredibly lewd but technically worksafe

>>26067859

Or even worse: She hands it back to us and we are left to wonder how the fuck can we have two hearts at the same fucking time.

>>26067889
then we get reminded and hopefully don't act like a cock the next time around.

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>>26067889
>>26067905

"Don't let it end like this"

>>26067761
Isnt there some sort of cosmic law that says if there is an original and a perfect copy of a person around one of them is inevitably bound to go cuhraaaazy?

>>26067901
>implying we arn't primarily cybernetics at this point and got completely rebuilt a couple times in a different timeline thus they fucked the side the gem goes on
it would explain how we are still regular homu with all the memories involved when we witched, had so much despair we broke reality AND when we witch we are metal chick.

>>26067942
We've already seen it at play, with both Madokas. One of those is definitely crazy.

Now, the big question is, would this world's Homura be the crazy one, or would it be us?

>>26067958
well we are unhinged, so i say us, but homu is really good at keeping herself together if nothing else.

Is there an IRC/rizon for this quest?

I'm a recent follower and have started reading through the archives, just curious.

polite sage for no input

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>>26067825
Yeah, this quest did the same for me. Just sit back and let it happen. Men's cut but tailored for the girl, all my hnnngh

>>26067990
welcome into the fold

>>26067958
But we -aren't- a perfect copy.
Maybe that's why we're a mirror image.
Maybe the reason Murderbitch went all Murderbitch was because there's another Murderbitch out there who isn't so Murderbitchy.

>>26068004
>Puella Magi Madoka Yakuza

>>26067990
Decu has a twitter
https://twitter.com/magicalgirlnoir

>>26067969
2/4th of the Homus disagree.

>>26068014
Whoa calm yo murdertits there

>>26068014
read:
>>26067950
we robot yo, hence why we don't bleed and all kinds of crap, but we still original homu, mayhaps a different body though because when we witched, all signed pointed to us being the original, breaking time/reality and everything.

>>26068030
it's where he crushes our hopes and dreams when it rains (see meteor shower) on his moon base

>>26068042
But we do bleed. When sparring with Kharn, Yuu had to chime in to heal our shoulder.

>>26068042
Since when do we not bleed?

>>26068054
>Rains on his moon base
Fucking Raiwat Virgo, man.

>>26067223 >>26067229 >>26067236 >>26067241

"Oh, these? Yeah, first thing I noticed when they gave it to me, too." Sayaka glances down at the weapon, holding it in both hands. "Right, uh. Assuming you've got it unlocked and the safety's off, this trigger-" She points at the larger of the two, the one still attached to the rest of the rifle it was taken from. "--fires a round specially designed for this kinda thing. The combustion of that round gets forced into this tiny barrel that's set into the mouth of the sheah, here, and it punches against the sword guard here." She points to the blade's hilt, which is basically one oblong carved out of thick plate iron, machined and beveled to resemble that of a katana's but obviously not all that concerned about decoration. "The force ejects the sword out of the sheath really hard and really fast."

...And what good does that do? Shooting someone with your sword? Wouldn't you be out of a sword then?

Sayaka smirks at this. "Well of course you don't shoot your sword at someone. It's for Iai, dumbass. See?" She places the sword at her side, one finger stroking the trigger, the other just barely brushing against the haft of the handle. "You pull the triggerr, sword blasts out, you catch it and use the momentum to add to your strike. It's all a matter of positioning it so that it follows the motion of what you're planning." There's a click as she pulls the trigger, pantomiming the rest. "Understand?"

Yeah. Yeah, you get it. It seems...pretty impractical, though. And needlessly dangerous.

"Americans." Sayaka shrugs. "But yeah, I agree with you there. First time I actually used it, I drew too late and it broke my arm and shoulder. Second time I drew too early - tore my arm completely off." It's here that she grimaces slightly, as if loathe to relive the memory. "There's a timing to it, and it's pretty tricky. Managed to get it before too long, though!"

...Right. What about the second trigger?

[1/2]

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>>26068014
infinite universes theory? you know what that means...

>>26067990

I seem to remember one being mentioned a long time ago but not sure if that's still a thing.

I just follow decu on twitter. He retweets pretty much all the fanart and writeups that he gets.

>>26068014

My theory is that there are actually 3 Homus in this timeline.

First one is the Homu of this timeline who could or could not be a Meguca. Since Coobie did not find anything on "Akemi Homura" either, someone is lying or it has to do with Malal`s Shenanigans who for some reason protected the real Akemi Homura or she has a different name.

The second one is the real Homura who is either dead, in suspension or a witch. She may or may not be related to the sarcophagus.

The third one would be us, Chiaki Matsuda who is either a copy made by one of the Officios for reasons unknown. Or by Pinky herself as part of her game after the real Homura was heavily wounded/killed.

>>26068081

"Second trigger activates the blade. Some sorta high-frequency power field. Lets it cut better and quicker. Also makes it really easy to set fire on something."

Well, that's a bit cooler. How do you unlock it, then?

"Well, first you place it where you want it to be, like so, an' then you say the password--" It's here that Sayaka pauses to narrow her eyes at you. "...You're not askin' all this shit because you're gonna steal it, right? Because I swear, Murderface, if you so much as even think about it--"

You? Steal something? How dare she. How dare she accuse her own Warmaster of such. You're not some sort of common two-bit thief with sticky fingers!

"Yeah, yeah, on-site procurement, whatever," Sayaka snaps at you. "Just leave this the fuck alone, alright? You got Kirika's Muramasa, be satisfied with that. This is mine."

Fine, fine. Now she can show you how she unlocks the damn thing.

"...Right. Well. Like I said, place it where you want it to be, hold it there, then press and hold down the second trigger." There's a faint beep, and then a mechanical chime reaching its crescendo - something charging up. "Then you say the password."

And the password is...?

Sayaka glares at you, cheeks suddenly crimsoning, before looking away. Mumbling something inaudible underneath her breath.

"ERROR." A gravelly, digitized voice suddenly speaks from a tinny speaker on the handle. "TRY AGAIN."

[2/3]

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In during Decu being less than professional.
>browsing Mami threads on /a/ while in the middle of questing
tsk tsk

>>26068101

Well, Sayaka heard the thing. She should try again, you urge her on.

"...Jesus Christ. In front of you, even..." Sayaka blushes even harder, before glaring down at the sword, as if it'd offended her. "...Sakura Kyoko."

Two beeps, and then a series of metallic clicks clatter out as straps suddenly fly out of the device's side, pythoning around the Eversor's waist and clinching together. Another strap flinging itself up and over her shoulder, snapping across her torso and locking tight. Another click as Sayaka dry-fires the trigger - and she carefully pulls the blade out for you to see.

...Whoever designed it really had one thing in mind: making something that kills things good, but with a surgeon's laser-like precision. It had all the unflinching brutality of Kharn's chainsword, and the naked blood thirst of Kirika's Muramasa. A long flat blade of iron, burning red as if the blade was still fresh from being hammered out in a forge. The gentle curve of the impossibly-sharp edge belying just how much killing it's done, and how much killing it can still do.

A fine weapon. A sublime weapon. Maximum Hardcore.

"A bitch to maintain, though," Sayaka says offhandedly, ruining the moment. "Gotta take the sheathe apart every so often to oil the parts and clear debris and carbon scoring, stuff like that. Plus ya gotta replace the barrel every now and then, since it's not meant to contain that kind of combustion again and again and again." She takes a few swings of the sword - the red blade easily dwarfing her size - before sliding it back into its sheathe without even looking. As if she'd been using it every single day of her life.

[3/4]

>>26068101
This is gonna be good.

>>26068092
Bestest homu.

>>26068108
Decu
Decu pls
pls

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>>26068108
Yeah! Demand a refund of your money! Only a hundred some threads he's done so far, he ought to earn that cash!

>>26068108

hehe.

>>26068133
>having this little of a sense of humor

Can't blame the man for loving Mumi.

>>26068108
decu why

>>26068146
sarcasm detector broke? or are you american?

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>>26068116

...If she's got that kind of thing to use, why don't you see her using it more often?

"What?" Sayaka blinks up at you, the Eversor already now in the middle of putting the blade, sheathe and all, back into its suitcase where it slept. "Because it's not practical, like I told you! I mean, it's practical when I'm tryin' to use as little magic as possible, and possibly I could go on entire missions with this, but..." She looks down at the thing with a frown, before closing the suitcase on it. "...it doesn't feel the same. It's not as satisfying, I guess what I'm trying to say." It's here that she shakes her head. "Christ, why am I talking to you about this? You're a Vindicare."

Well, now. She doesn't have to be all rank-ist, or something like that. Vindicares and Eversors aren't that much different, it's just the kind of weapon that's different. She should check her privilege.

"The hell?" Sayaka narrows her eyes at the expression. "Now you're just sayin' nonsense. Come on, Ruri-chan's probably about to come out. Hopefully we'll be able to get back to the Hotel before too long." She gets back up on her feet, letting out a sigh. "Geh. I'm lookin' forward to getting some sleep, but without Kyoko..."

Jesus. You tell her to suck it up. It's just for a few days.

"Aw, shut up, what do you know?" Sayaka nudges your leg with the suitcase. "I'm not used to sleeping in an empty bed, that's all. Nothing strange, nothing perverted. Just that."

Well, she could ask her Ruri-chan to volunteer. Seeing as she'd taken a bath with her already.

"What? No, Christ." Sayaka makes a face, here, although you could tell it's a bit...forced. "I'm not into idols THAT way. Yeah, I like her music, I like her showmanship and expertise, but..." She pauses here, as if giving it some serious consideration. "Nah. I'm happy where I am. Kyoko's enough, and she's all I want."

[4/5]

>>26068160
Nein kamerad, das joke I do not understand.

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>>26068108

IT FINALLY HAPPENED! HE IS BORED WITH US! THE END IS NEAR!

>>26068169
>eversor privilege
oh lawdy what

>>26068169
Meleeist privilege is now a thing

>>26068160
>sarcasm
>on the internet

Well I never.

>>26068108
wait, what?

>>26068198
You know how easy it is to prepare a post for posting in one thread but paste it in another on random chance? Yeah.

>>26068169
>Vindicares and Eversors aren't that much different, it's just the kind of weapon that's different. She should check her privilege.


I agree, fucking Swordfighters don`t even know how everything is based around them and their fucking Swords.

Try to use a Mace or an Axe and everyone one looks funnily at you.

>>26068169
The cuckold looking to do some NTR of her own?

hot

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>>26068176
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH.

>not again
>I miss planefag

>>26068169
>"Nah. I'm happy where I am. Kyoko's enough, and she's all I want."

she better be, or we'll be very upset.

>>26068211
o i see haha.

>>26068169

>"What? No, Christ." Sayaka makes a face, here, although you could tell it's a bit...forced. "I'm not into idols THAT way. Yeah, I like her music, I like her showmanship and expertise, but..." She pauses here, as if giving it some serious consideration. "Nah. I'm happy where I am. Kyoko's enough, and she's all I want."

Lets hope it stays like that.
For all our sakes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA6FQzUQ4Jo

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>>26068169

You find yourself smirking at this, but inwardly you're relieved.

...Well? Does the carpet match the drapes, or what?

It's here that Sayaka narrows her eyes at you. "Figures that'd be the first question you'd ask, Lewdface." Her voice, dripping with pure disgust and venom, suddenly lowers as she steps beside you and whispers close to your ear. "Actually, strangest thing. She's...well, either she got some work done or she's pretty good with a razor."

...What.

"Smooth," Sayaka steps back, shaking her head. "Bare as a baby's ass. No nicks, even!"

Well. Right. That's...something you didn't need to know, you suppose.

It's a good thing you've stopped this avenue of inquiry, because--

"Chiakii! Matsuda!!" Kirishima Ruri, the hairless one in Australia, suddenly slides into the scene - back in what appears to be a completely different outfit this time, and striking some rather goofy poses as she belted out your name. Still with black as a main color, but decidedly more schoolgirl-looking, with a button-up blouse, a tie, and a pleated skirt. Less frills all around, which helps in not making you feel like you're talking to a ball-jointed doll. "Yo! My ears were burning earlier, were you two talking about Ruri-sama behind her back?" She steps up between the both of you, threading her arms through yours. "Come on, come on! What were you two talking about?"

[]Tell the truth.
[]Lie.

>>26068278
[x] Tell the truth. Completely straight face.

>>26068278
>"Smooth," Sayaka steps back, shaking her head. "Bare as a baby's ass. No nicks, even!"
[shadowruns intensify]
But really she's prolly had it waxed.

Regardless.

[X] Tell the truth. "Your genitals."

>>26068278
>[x]Tell the truth.

I see no reason not to. She asked.

>>26068278
>you're talking to a ball-jointed doll.

ROOOOBOOOOOOT AAAAAAANNNNDROOOIIIDDD

>>26068160
>>26068190

Wanna know how you show sarcasm in text?

Anything between ^these^ arrows is considered to be said with a sarcastic tone. Too bad almost nobody knows this.

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>>26068278
THE TRUTH.
>We were talking about the amazing amount of hair you have! No extensions, even.

>>26068278
>[X]Lie.

>>26068278
[X] Lie indirectly
Yeah we were trying to decide what rumors we could sell for the most once we are done with this job, we were thinking there had to be something we saw that was worth some serious cash to someone

>>26068311
You made that up.

>>26068278
>[X] Tell the truth.
We were just talking about how Sayaka's waifu is totally shaved.

emphasize the waifu part

>>26068312
heh, this.

>[x] Tell the Truth. Creatively.

>>26068278
[x] Tell the truth.
>just talking about how long your hair is

>>26068278

>[x]Lie
"Talking about security, we have to make sure that not even one stand of hair on your body can be harmed"

>>26068318
^no he didn't^

>>26068278
>[x]Tell the truth.

>>26068278
LIE. fuck's sake. too many trolls

>>26068318

I actually didn't. It's something I saw on QI. Now the question is if they are right about it.

>>26068278
[x]Tell the truth.
She's been messing with us, time for us to mess with her. A little.

>>26068332
i see. that's ^awesome^

>>26068278
>Lewdface

Put on the hat. We'll show you lewd, Blueberry.

[X] Lie as awkwardly as possible. Maximum Homu.

>>26068278

[X] "We were talking about your hair, I can hardly believe all of it is real."

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>>26068323
I'm ok with this.

It tells Ruri to keep her damn hands off Sayaka, and makes blueberry turn red.

>>26068278
Third option:
[x] Deflect: Talk to her about the neat sword thingy.

>>26068323
Telling the truth, and not telling anything at all, ribbing Sayaka, and being alpha mode.

That's almost like a professional warmaster there.

>>26068352

[x]This. It's not the fun option but it's the one we should use.

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>>26068356
Sayaka will cut us for that.

[X] Coobie Truth. "Talking about how long your hair is."

>>26068312
seconded!

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>>26068278
[x]Tell the truth.
[x]"About carpets."
[x]Hairflick.

>>26068323
I'm voting for this response, it also lets us change the direction of the conversation, to something useful after that awkward silence. Like getting the primary to her transport.

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>>26068323
This is objectively the best option.

>>26068413
if you're going to second a vote, please link back to Decu's post, makes it a lot harder to count votes if you dont

>>26068323
Sayaka is gonna practice her Iai strike on us for that, but it will be worth it.

Voting for this.

>>26068323
YEAH BUT
RURI WILL THINK WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HER
BECAUSE SHE'S TOTALLY SHAVED

>>26068323
>>26068429
>>26068413
>>26068356
Really guys?

[]Tell the truth.

>>26068278

This is me>>26068413
voting for >>26068323

We need to ask sakaya about soul gem licking.

>>26068278

[x]Changing my vote from this >>26068328
to this >>26068323

[x]Tell the truth. All of it. Maybe even ask a tip on how to be that smooth.

Just girl talk people, completely normal.

>>26068467
>ask

I think more of an off hand comment about how she should lick Kyoko's soul gem would be more appropriate

>>26068278
[X] lie - ruri should totally check out sayaka's badass sword

>>26068278
"About the length of your hair."

>>26068278
voting for
>[X] Tell the truth
but deliver like this>>26068323
Blueberry will probably be a little annoyed, however we just went over how she was
>"I'm happy where I am. Kyoko's enough, and she's all I want."
Make sure Ruri knows where Sayaka stands, and where we stand on that.

>>26068278
LIE. LIE. LIE

>>26068531
But that's not the truth. We don't even know Kyoko's grooming habits.

Seriously this writein is retarded.

>>26068478
This actually makes sense.
I'm for this.
Now watch Murderface spaghetti it up into maximum awkwardity

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>>26068556
it's not about kyoko. it's about sayaka and kyoko

>>26068556
the
>Tell the truth
thing, is about what chiaki and sayaka were talking about, not whether the subject matter of said conversation was true or not, but what the conversation was about

please, think first

>>26068567
>implying Chiaki is not the master of the no fux given response

>>26068556
How can you be that dense.

It doesn't matter if Kyoko is shaved, brazilian, french, or dwarven. The point of it is to tell Ruri to keep her hands to herself, Sayaka is taken and if she tries something funny, we'll cut her hands off and make her a pirate.

>>26068576
what
I don't even

>>26068478

I guess I will second this. It's not like Murderface would give a damn anyway.

>>26068556
Yeah, this isn't even good HUE.

And Kyouko probably has a jungle down there

>>26068478
>Maybe even ask a tip on how to be that smooth.

1.) Take your soul gem.
2.) Wish to be smooth.
3.) ???
4.) PROFIT.

If it worked on fixing shortsightedness, pubes should be no problem either.

>>26068580
True, she can keep her composure by acting like she's not awkward, if it involves being cold and distant, given all her training. Of course, depending on how Sayaka/Ruri reacts, there's still plenty of chance things will end up awkward as fuck in the end.

>>26068601
>implying Eversors don't compete with each other about who can get the smoothest finish using only their soul gem weapons

>>26068589
But she will not interpret that response that way. She does not know Sayaka is attached.
In fact, it will have the opposite effect; 'Sayaka's waifu is totally shaved' = 'the person who is totally shaved is Sayaka's waifu' = 'Ruri is Sayaka's waifu'.

>>26068589
But that write-in doesn't insinuate that at all. And Kyouko is the husband in the relationship.

Does Ruri even know Kyouko and Sayaka are an item?

>>26068592
>>26068589
>>26068580
>>26068576
>>26068568
>>26068567
>>26068555
>>26068531
>>26068500
>>26068498
>>26068467
>>26068456
>>26068452
>>26068443
Decu, could you post a quick 'writing' for when you've started so our insanity doesn't go further than beating a dead horse and start betting on one

>>26068603

Yeah, but that wouldn't make Ruri act all embarassed and timid.

>>26068603
Huh. You know, this promps a question as to how far that stretches. Certainly bad eyesight is a disability (a minor one but still), but it's not exactly an injury or anything of the sort. If they can fix that, can they change things like under/overbites? Athlete's foot?

Maybe the real reason MG relationships are so common is that they all look like perfect specimens of humanity and their standards are way high.

>>26068629
My money's on her laughing and carrying on like it ain't nothin'.

I don't think Ruri shakes that easily.

>>26068323
i'm against this, theres better ways to tell ruri paws off like just off-handedly mentioning kyobro and have blue say it herself. If she trys to hand-wave it and get us to keep shut we start worrying/full shadowruns

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OH GOD

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

RURI IS LITERALLY A HATSUNE MIKU

SHE'S AN ANDROID! No wonder she has so long hair but no pubes!

>>26068629
>implying she wouldn't excitedly offer to teach us personally
Ruri doesn't carry spaghetti in her pockets.

>>26068608
Maybe in the Eighth: only whores shave it all in Japan.

>>26068629
I'm pretty sure her reaction would be lewd. Probably teasing lewd, with an outside shot at genuine lewd.

I mean, she has no problem faking orgasmic moans in front of people she's never met before, I don't think pubic hair will phase her.

>>26068629
Yes it would, if we did it right in front of her, it would.

*This is not actually suggested action, just hypotetically speaking.

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>>26068655
kinda obvious when the real one was murdered years ago, right? and just happens to have a perfect singing voice and a golden terminator skeleton.

>>26068677
>in front of people she's never met before
I think you mean 'in front of potentially millions of viewers online' there, buddy.

>>26068623
>implying Decu isn't mami debating Mami's mami's over on /a/ right now

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>>26068655
>>26068688

Then how did she manage to have a bath?

>>26068710
Waterproof skin.

>>26068674
Two words:

Beam katanas.

>>26068621
If Ruri knows about the two of them, then she'll know what we're talking about, if Ruri doesn't she may become confused, and Sayaka will most likely pass it off as a Homuism and clarify things. In case of the first, we're probably gonna get sayaka and Kyoko points. If it's the latter, we might lose points, but at least the situation will be clear.

>>26068623

He starts writing after 20 mins of voting.

>>26068701
just want an indication that we should stop voting is all... think it'd help the thread health

>>26068690
I'd imagine as an idol she's pretty good at 'otherizing' the people on the other side of cameras, basically not thinking of them as individuals at all. Harder to do that in person with someone you'll have a (working, but still) relationship with.

>>26068721
so she has waterproof USD ports?

>>26068754
>what is wifi
Also yes, how do you think subs are constructed. If people could make a waterproof diving ship in WW2 then I don't see why a fully sentient gynoid from the future can't be waterproof.

>>26068734
The Eighth Officio is a magical place.

So could Murderface use a strapon on the glasses Midori version of herself while forcing Midori to pleasure Iori or Ruri? Ruri would be thrilled with the situation, while Iori would be shamefully turned on~

>>26068754
>>26068766
I just started typing into google if vagina's are waterproof or not, before I turned around shook my sweetpea awake and asked her.

I got a foot in my face.
So I don't know.
I'll investigate later after I've made some pancakes.

Welp looking over the twenty minutes worth of votes after Decu's post it looks like the retarded writein wins.
Just for the record Decu, my 'tell the truth' vote is not a 'tell the truth by lying' vote.

>>26068795
The human body is waterproof as much as organic tissue can be waterproof. People don't die from swimming in slalt water but they do from drinking it, that is proof enough.

>>26068795
>shook my sweetpea awake
This is why you are making pancakes. Not because of the vagina thing.

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>>26068795
he wouldn't know anyway

>>26068807
#rekt

>>26068795
Just because there are holes, that doesn't mean that water can go in.

Does water go inside your nose and through your mouth when you swim under the sea?

>>26068860
A little bit, yeh.

>>26068323
Just got here, oh lawdy, go with this Decu.

It's going to make Ruri so confused, and then Sayaka will have to step up and correct us, or let us lay the smackdown on ruri for playing fast hands with her.

End result, Ruri will learn that appearantly Sayaka likes her ladies smooth, though if you ask me a little rough around the green is ok by me.

>>26068860
Yes, not a lot, but I usually wind up spitting a tiny bit of poolwater/sea water out when I surface.

>>26068880
>Sayaka likes her ladies smooth
WHERE IS THIS IMPLIED?
WHERE?
WHY DO ALL YOU CHUCKLEFUCKS SEEM TO THINK THAT THIS WRITEIN IMPLIES TO RURI THAT SAYAKA IS TAKEN?

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>>26068880
aaaaaaaand i'm reminded i'm on 4chan

>>26068880
>End result, Ruri will learn that appearantly Sayaka likes her ladies smooth
That wasn't implied by Sayaka AT ALL you stupid shit.
Is English not your native language? Otherwise your abysmal reading comprehension levels are inexcusable.

>>26068896
hey, don't blame me, i voted for >>26068312

>>26068323

Both you and Sayaka glance at each other at the same time - and it's here that the Eversor quickly looks away, crimsoning again. "Uh, ah, we..." She begins, stammering. "Um, Ruri-chan, we weren't...we were just talking about--"

--Hair, you finish for the Blueberry, as you take the Warmaster Cap from your inventory and put it on, carefully pulling down on the sides for a perfect fit. Specifically, hair belonging to Sayaka's significant other, and how it's very...well taken care of. If Ruri gets your meaning, you add after a moment, just to make it clear without spitting the entire thing out.

"Huh? I don't..." Ruri's brow furrows, clearly confused, before realization dawns on her face a couple of awkward seconds later. "Oh. OH! And here I was thinking that Sayaka was telling you about how I'm shaved down there, hahaha!" She giggles here, hugging the both of you. "Now I really feel stupid for mishearing you! Tee hee!" She sticks out her tongue cutely, before freeing her hand from your waist to knuckle her temple. "Sorry~!"

"...Wait, you heard us?" Sayaka blinks. "B-but, I was whispering, a-and you were--"

"Trained ears! Idols have to have good hearing so we can adjust our voice to the acoustics of a concert hall and match our tone to the music, right?" Ruri lets go of the both of you briefly to tap her ears. "Ah, but then, I did catch Sayaka-chan staring a couple of times, hehen~!"

Oh, so Sayaka-chan was staring, was she? You turn to the Eversor who looks away again, sweating slightly. Adultress. NTR-ing Blueberry Seductress!

"Ah, it's not her fault, Chiaki-chan, don't stare at her like that," Ruri reaches out to poke you in the cheek with a perfectly-manicured index finger. "Sayaka-chan told me about Kyoko-chan, and it's a real shame I didn't even get to meet her! I wanted to see that eyepatch, too! Eyepatches are super hot, you know! Especially on someone with long red hair!"

...Yes. Well. You can't argue with that.

[1/2]

>>26068948

"Isn't it?!" The super idol pouts, here. "Ruri-chan couldn't help but feel a bit jealous, too! But, of course," Her pout turns into a serious, grave expression, "Love between magical girls is the most fragile and most beautiful thing in the world, and I'm not going to do anything to break something like that with my own hands! I'd sooner give this all up and become a wrinkly OL with crow's feet and liver spots!"

This...this is all kinds of weird, but at least you're assured that Ruri's not going to try anything. Not yet, anyway.

There is something you'd like to ask, though.

"Hmm? What's that, Chiaki-san?"

...Does she have any tips about getting to be that kind of smooth?

"Hahaha! Well, of course I can share a few tips! Mind, it's a bit long, but the first thing you do is..."

The tip-sharing lasts, remarkably enough, the entire trip back to the Hotel. Apparently there's a lot about that kind of thing that you weren't aware of. Sayaka had a lot of questions to ask, too, something which you'll do your best not to think about when you're talking to Kyoko. It's a bit strange, though, that most of Ruri's advice seems to come from a second-hand source - as if she's not the one doing it herself.

Noriko was in the car with you as this went on, and you couldn't help but notice the young girl pressing her hands to her ears and hunkering down, completely red in the face.

In any case, the entire group gets back to the Hotel without any further incident. You waited outside with Ruri and Sayaka while Kyosuke and his goons performed a quick check of the entire building to make sure nobody snuck in while you were out - not that it wasn't guarded in the first place, anyway - and it's with relief that you finally get back into the suites. Sayaka made a beeline for her own suite that's just across the hall from Ruri's, saying that she needs to take another shower AND change into some more comfortable clothes.

[2/3]

>>26068931
Obviously. Please explain to me how 'Sayaka's waifu is totally shaved' implies that Sayaka is taken and that Ruri should keep her mitts off.
>>26068948
Oh thank god for Decu being sane.

Robot Idol Overlords, etc

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>>26068956

You on the other hand escorted Ruri back into her suite, the super idol throwing herself onto the large, double king-size bed with a whumpf. Deepthroat, apparently, has her own room here, just next door, where Ruri can easily call for her.

"Haaah! Finally, bed! That was a long day!" Ruri groans, her two long pigtails spilling over the quilted cream blankets in silky streams of green. "Nnn, I wish I can just stay here forever and not worry about concerts or webcasts or interviews and stuff!" She stretches, here, much like a cat, her face scrunching up in toe-curling bliss. "Fwaah, this thing is really comfortable!"

...Not as comfortable as your chair, you resist replying, instead sticking an unlit cigarette between your lips and plopping yourself down on the couch opposite. Guard duty begins again, and you prepare yourself for a long, sleepless slog.

"...Aren't you going to get ready for bed?" Ruri asks after a moment, blinking up at you. "Shower's there, and I can lend you some silk PJs if you need 'em."

Ready for bed...? No, you're...you're supposed to be on guard duty. You're not supposed to sleep.

"No! No, that's no fun! That's why I got Kyosuke-kun and his bros to be on guard duty, so I get to have fun with you, Chiaki-chan!" Ruri sits up on the bed, pouting. "Go on, get showered and then get ready for bed!" She points towards the extravagant bath. "I'll wait here until you're done!"

...It seems that your client is asking you to sleep with her.

How do you respond?

[]Accept.
[]Refuse.

>>26068970
>[]Accept.

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>>26068948
>>26068956
oh good, the trolls fail to poison the pot

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>>26068970
TRAINED EARS MY ASS
THAT'S A FUCKING ANDROID WITH DIRECTED MICROPHONE ACTION

>>26068970
>[x]Refuse.
Ruri-chan, pls. We have a job to do. The couch will do, if no comfy chairs are present.

>>26068970
[x]Accept.
But no funny stuff. Sayaka's not the only one with an important person in their life. And no, Ruri can't meet them.

>>26068970
>[X]Accept the shower but we are sleeping on the sofa.

>>26068970
>[X]Politely refuse, be professional.

"I'll be on the couch if you need me."

>>26068970

>[]accept

But the shield does not come off. Ever.

Rolled 3

>>26068970
[x] Refuse, it would be unprofessional.

>>26068970

This is what happens when we put on the hat.

[x] refuse.

If we sleep it's going to be on the couch. I would rather not have Pinky drag us into our personal hell because we were cheating on her.

>>26068985
>pic
That... that's not real, is it? Please tell me that isn't real.

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>>26068948
>"Trained ears! Idols have to have good hearing so we can adjust our voice to the acoustics of a concert hall and match our tone to the music, right?" Ruri lets go of the both of you briefly to tap her ears. "Ah, but then, I did catch Sayaka-chan staring a couple of times, hehen~!"
>>26068956
>It's a bit strange, though, that most of Ruri's advice seems to come from a second-hand source - as if she's not the one doing it herself.
WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME DECU

WHY MUST YOU INTENSIFY MY SHADOWRUNS

In other news
>>26068970
[X] Refuse
We're too professional for sleep. Only amateurs sleep. Its not insomnia, I swear.

>>26068985
...Homeless nerds?

>>26068970
Also, that is not Miku. D8

>>26069004

this

>>26068970
>[X] Deculine

We are a professional. We have a job to do.

And the last time we were in bed with an Idol it got... weird.

>>26068970
[x]Accept.
[x] Call Kyosuke, tell him we're expecting backup from the 9th, call us when they arrive.
As much as I don't like it, Magical Girls may be undead liches but we still need sleep. It wouldn't be good to be sleepy during the day.

And just because we share a bed doesn't mean anything.

>>26068970
[X] Refuse
"I'll be on the couch if you need me. And my outfit works plenty fine for bedwear."

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>>26068970
we professional
[Reluctantly refuse]

>>26068970
[x] Refuse

No fooling with the robot girl.

>>26068970
[x]Accept, but let her know that regardless of what 'fun' she's imagining, the hair's off-limits.

>>26068970
[X] Refuse
WE ARE NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH THE FUCKING IDOL

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>>26068970

oh boy
>[x]Refuse
"There are just some things that Kyosuke and his goons can't pick up that I can. Just let me do my job and make sure that you are safe in that comfy comfy bed and no-one interrupts your beauty sleep.

>>26068985

Is that a scumbag steve hat?

>>26069007
real, but russia, so... real in a 'that explains it' kind of way

>>26068970
[x] Refuse

>>26068970
[x] Refuse

I hope this doesn't devolve into samefagging

>>26069035
never looked at it that closely... could be, but i doubt it - had that pic for a few years

>>26068970

[X] Refuse

maybe if there weren't any magic abusing mobsters going after her, maybe, just maybe we would accept.

we should still use this opportunity to get clean though.

>>26068970
[x] Refuse
Bad things lie down that road

>>26068970
>[X] Refuse

There's many reasons for refusing.
Mami
Midori
Faust/Pinky
just to name a few.

Are we still wearing the hat?

>>26069033

Add that if there wasn't Yakuza involvement with potential Magical Girl antagonists backing them up, we would consider it.

>>26068970
Accept
We could probably do with a shower after all the things that have happened today

>>26068970
>[]Refuse

in case she hasn't noticed, we're not a very fun person to be around.

Honestly, I was thinking refuse at first, but...how exactly are people planning for Chiaki to get through 100 hours with brief naps at most, and still fight effectively if something comes up? She has to sleep at some point.

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>>26068970
[x] Refuse.

"There are many reasons, which I cannot explain to you, why I won`t do that."

I can`t even tell what would be worse: A sad Midori or an angry Pinky.

>>26069008
>>26068995
Calling it now.

Her manager's either a brilliant roboticist or knows one. When the real idol died, fearing the loss of profit that a lack of Ruri would cause he had a robotic double created with the real one's brain plugged in

She is unaware that she is a robot

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>>26068970
[X] ACCEPT

SHE'S A BOT, I KNOW SO

WE NEED TO GET UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL TO CONFIRM THIS

>>26069074

Wake Kyoko up early to take over the shift. Then when other magical girls arrive the sleeping schedule can be hashed out.

>>26069076
Oh jesus I forgot about Pinky.

If we even THINK of sleeping with her we can never use timestop again.

>>26068970
>[x]Refuse.
We do not need a additional member of our harem.

>>26068970
>the super idol throwing herself onto the large, double king-size bed with a whumpf.
>with a whumpf
>not a POMF =3
Decu, I'm disappoint.

>>26069084

Meant to say Sayaka.

>>26069080
"Oooh Chiaki~! Getting frisky are we~?"

"Goddamnit I know there must be metal bits SOMEWHERE around here..."

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>>26068997
>>26069003
>>26069005
>>26069006
>>26069008
>>26069018
>>26069022
>>26069024
>>26069030
>>26069032
>>26069033
>>26069041
>>26069042
>>26069052
>>26069060
>>26069061

Decu offers magical girl sex, gets refused. Whiteknights everywhere

on that note>>26068970

[X] Refuse.

>>26069091
It's not a Pomf because she knows *exactly* what she's going to do on the bed.

>>26068970
Now where was this covering for hue with Coobiegate?

[X] Accept. Quickest way to prove or disprove shadowruns.

You guys realise we can totally share a bed without getting frisky, right?

>>26069101
I think you mean Decu offers suicide by Pinky, gets refused.

>>26069085
Pinky is, unlike what most people think, surprisingly sane for a crazy goddess. If we explain that is was for checkings if Miku is Terminator X we will get off scot free.

>>26069107
The question is does Pinky realize that?

>>26069101
That's not whiteknighting, it's being professional on the job and not pissing off Pinky. We have nothing to gain by accepting, but there's a lot of shit that can go wrong if we do.

>>26069080
>kinsey scale of robosexuality.jpg

>>26069107
But in character, why would Chiaki share a bed with her?
She's been nothing but wary of Ruri the whole time, jumping in to bed with her now seems a long way out of character.

>>26069120
I'd hit mostly anything but 5 and 6.

>>26069008
>Sayaka staring at Ruri's crotch
>Sayawkwardness
>Spaghetti-tan more visibly uncomfortable than usual

Because you can't into context, apparently.

>>26069121
see >>26069080

>>26069121
Decu wouldn't offer the option if he didn't have an explanation planeed out for it already.

>>26069130
The super hearing is the important part. Not the staring.

>>26069115
>>26069110
>>26069113

I forgot about Pinkey. I'm almost wishing we accepted now, just to see what she'd do.

But that's the same line of thinking which led me to push for putting the hat on Pinky, and probably the time we brought QB into the timestop.

What I'm getting at is that it sounds like a bad idea.

>>26069113
Performing cavity exams on possibly superrobot idols searching for golden what precisely? Did she play hide the snake with her golden microphone?

I can't say I'd be displeased with a hide and seek game like that, but I must go with
>>26068970
[X] Refuse.

There's far too many people we could hurt if word ever got out. Are we still being televised at this point? I doubt it, and do we have the hat on right now. I want to make sure there's no foreign influences here manipulating the idol.

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>>26069107
>>26069121

Its also been established that Chiaki isn`t exactly comfortable with physical contact. I think the only times were we had some enjoyment out of that was nudehugging with Midori and obviously with Mumi.

I would sell my soul th get hugged by Mumi.

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>>26069118
>he doesn't want to find out if the Miku is a robo

>>26069080
What is #3, I can't into moonspeak, and I want to turing test the data out of her.

>>26069171
Aegis

>>26069129

2 and 3 for me. If they are going full human, why not just fuck a human? The robotic bits are the reason you fuck a robot. Otherwise you're just fucking a real doll that can talk.

Anything past 3 though is asking to have your dick crushed between a set of gears.

>>26069166
Let's say she is. Then what?

>>26069171
Aegis, from Persona.

Rolled 13

>>26069171
#3 is Aigis (spelling?) from Persona 3. IIRC she isn't a romance option because she doesn't have the robo-vag

>>26068948
[x] Offer to clean Ruri's carpets

>>26068970
[x] Accept