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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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I come bearing tales of the insane, anti-magic stone GM, the writer of the 1,070-page Nortjenomicon and its sequels.

Previous threads:

The 1,070 page manifesto and its follow-ups:

Roughly a week ago, the GM, who shall be referred to as that for the sake of tradition, asked to be a player in an upcoming game in the channel: an Exalted game.

The GM was completely unfamiliar with it, but the group was willing to give them a chance. The group provided him with links to the rulebooks, the character creation rules for the game, and their list of standard house rules.

All the GM had to do was create a Dragon-Blooded Exalted at 140 XP. Instead, this happened.

<Me> How is your Exalted character coming along, GM?
<GM> oh it is done.
<Me> Could I please see it?
<GM> http://pastebin.com/3LcMqaf1
<OtherPlayer> it's not in the parameters of the game
<GM> what do you mean?
<GM> i made it with the book.
<OtherPlayer> This game has house rules that we've been talking about, remember?
<GM> ok...?
<GM> they told me i could play it like that.
<OtherPlayer> Okay, well, if you say so.
<GM> i think your characters are more powerful anyways.
<GM> but then, what is so powerful about my character?
<GM> bye.
* GM Quit (Connection reset by peer)

The game begins tomorrow, and this is all the GM has for a character.

Not being familiar with Exalted, can anyone tell me how horrid this character is for a 140 XP Dragon-Blooded?
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>I come bearing tales of the insane, anti-magic stone GM, the writer of the 1,070-page Nortjenomicon and its sequels.

This guy is the gift that keeps on giving.
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>Motivation: To have an easy ride
>To have an easy ride
>an easy ride
>easy ride

I think he's trolling you. Or trying to send a subliminal message.
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Wang is an outcast. he roams the world looking for action, and a purpose. he likes to help people he thinks are good, as they will likely be good back to him if he is good to them first.

Wang grew up in a spoiled life. he wanted to have everything his way, and his parents gave that to him, nearly, or, as best they could.

When Wang became a teenager, he learned from the rest of the world that everything doesn't always go his way. he bumped his head trying to get everything he could, and then became a filthy liar to those around him that stood in the way of the thing he wanted and himself.

His parents were shamed by him, and asked him to leave when he was just seventeen. he has been roaming the world for two years looking for someone that will give him back what he wants - lots of magic mushrooms and money.

Wang will never work an honest day. he thinks he can just get the things he wants without work.


Caste: outcast.
Motivation: To have an easy ride.
Aspect: water.
concept: deal broker.

Strength: 2 dexterity: 3 stamina: 4
Charisma: 3 manipulation: 4 appearance: 5
perception: 3 intelligence: 3 wits: 3

investigation: 5
larceny: 5
bureaucracy: 5

presence: 5
socialize: 5

performance: 5


<bureaucracy> confluence of savant thought, grease flying south administration,
<Investigation> scent of crime method, tampering detection technique, bloodhounds nose technique,
<larceny> observer awareness method, ears of the snowy owl, trackless walk style,

Compassion: 3
temperance: 4
conviction: 3
valor: 3

essence: 2
willpower: 7
personal essence pool: 9
peripheral essence pool: 24
health: 7

Judging from the 3.5/Pathfinder game that the GM runs, and the writings in their manifesto, they love doing social commentary as much as possible.

I suppose it is not a huge surprise that performing magical bureaumancy is what they have set up their character to do, then.
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I know that Exalted characters should have some mix of Archery, Awareness, Dodge, Martial Arts, Melee Weapons, and Thrown for physical combat. I also hear that Integrity is good to have for social combat as well.

This character has no dots in any of those abilities.

Looking at this character's backstory, the GM clearly does not know a single shred of the setting, but this goes a little beyond that. You could take that backstory and apply it to a real-life setting, word for word, and not one thing would feel out of place.

I wonder, does the GM even know how Creation differs from your usual fantasy world, or, considering that they have trouble separating fantasy from reality, the real world altogether?

I suppose we shall see together, when the GM takes their first foray into Creation!
Ha ha wait this is supposed to be how much XP
>I know that Exalted characters should have some mix of Archery, Awareness, Dodge, Martial Arts, Melee Weapons, and Thrown for physical combat.

No. No no no.

You take EITHER Melee+Aware, or Dodge+anything but Melee. Assuming you don't want to waste points. Specialisation, like every game, is rewarded in Exalted.
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140 XP.


That is what I was trying to convey, that is, "pick a few of them and rely on those," not "spread around your dots in all of them." I just did not know the precise permutation (but now I do), and I suppose I expressed myself poorly.
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Also, what is "grease flying south administration"? Is this an actual charm?
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That's kind of a lot, wow. Where the hell are all his charms? Did he just dump everything into skills? Where's the backgrounds? Where are his fucking EXCELLENCIES for god's sake.
>mfw all virtues +3
At least he has Temperance at 4!

... Temperance for a guy who wants to just slack off and get high on shrooms.
>Dexterity 3
>no combat abilities

That's okay, he'll eventually homebrew up a Paralyzing Finger-Point Prana charm to rip out his enemies' spines by pointing at them.
He is going to rack up so much Limit its not even funny.
Okay it is funny.
What's Limit?
>His parents were shamed by him, and asked him to leave when he was just seventeen.

Isn't adulthood in Creation at age 14?
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This guy again.

>obviously saw the Bureaucracy thing and then decided to make a social commentary character out of it by making him a degenerate thief or something
>didn't actually pay attention to the setting, the rules or the game
So basically, he's doing commentary on how bureaucrats are lazy, hedonistic thieves?
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I am surprised that he is not creating a social character themed around fascism and puissant at brainwashing. After all, we know of the GM's stance on that:

>I find that fascism is the answer to the world's needs today. Look what happened to Germany- they were the force to beat.

>There were no marches in Italy and Germany while it was going on. If there had been some resistance it would have created a civil war!

>No really, think of Mardi gras then? Everyone there is in a good mood. This is what fascism does; it puts people in a position where they feel like they belong to a nation, a big body of people. Think of North Korea, there the people are extremely happy surveys cover that. Even foreign news focuses on them wanting to be good for their leaders and country!

>I find the morale of the people to be more important than freedoms that they enjoy today. I am all for brainwashing people to support the state in all forms, as this will lead to a happier country.

>You don't need to be happy when you are brainwashed to think you are. You don't need rights that you don't use. You do need the economy to go well like is planned.

>Brain washing is great. It happens in the USA all the time! The media and other outlets brainwash the people. The only reason you don't find brainwashing in Europe at all is because of an unknown factor.

>You do not need rights you don't use. Please name some rights that the state would remove?

>Yes brain washing is good. Look at America. They are all brainwashed to believe their society is better and more patriotic. Look at how feverous they are with their flag and war veterans.

This GM would make for a perfect Solar.

>This GM would make for a perfect Solar.

All of Creation shall drink salt water to cure their ills.

Seems that way. I've worked on and off at a sizable university (not as a teacher, but various odd jobs or brief assignments in different depatments.) Bureaucrats can be a pain in the neck here and there, but seeing the complete fucking mess that is a department without someone to do the paperwork will convince you of their necessity.

Again, this guy seems kind of...off, to be kind. If he's ever encountered bureaucracy I'm guessing he views it as being deliberately obstructive and kind of evil and just getting in the way of him getting to demonstrate that salt water is a cure for all wounds.
Limit is a measure of the character's stress at dealing with the life of a hero, full of highs and lows and tragedies. Too much Limit and you Limit Break, going into a cathartic burst of emotions that generally fucks up everything you were trying to do
Amythest guy. If you're here, how much would it cost me to get you to print and mind me a copy of the first Manifest?
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I live somewhere relatively remote from the rest of the world, so I would rather not have you ship anything to me.

Also, I must recommend that you find some way to sort out the political commentary from the rest of the writings. This GM's political rantings are significantly saner than everything else (especially the points covering anything science-related), so it would give the wrong impression to have the book mostly filled with those rather than the true insanity.
I still would like to know. How much will it take for you to print and bind his insanity?
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I am entirely uncertain of the costs involved.

Now that the thread has simmered down somewhat, let us move on to the main event, shall we? Sermons from the Nortjenomicon.

First, some flawless logic on why pseudoscience, such as alchemy and astrology, can be tested and are seriously worth considering.

>Pseudo science
>Ok, I believe in pseudo science, and I am going to try to prove that it can be tested. They arrived by their conclusions by deduction, as all reason is involved in looking for formulaes. If they cannot be disproven, then they are regaurded as true, although they might only be folk lore. If they were put to the test, then they would reveal whether they are true or not. In the event they are found to hold some sort of 'reality' then they would be proven.

>If you take one of these theories or sciences and ask why they came into being, they must have come from tests of some sort, so they must have an element of truth for some of the science. There might though be a lot of red herrings in there, so they need to be tested so that they can be refined. They are science after all, so they must hold true for some part of themsleves.

>Let's talk alchemy? Alchemy came about by testing reactions of things to other things, over and over again. The results were recorded, and only due to consistency were they regaurded as true.

>How about astrology? Here they took people and observed them and what the planets do to your moods and fate. Determinism, a highly thought of real science proves that there is such a thing as fate. Then you have one wolrd consciousness? That is also speculation of sorts, but that is tested. So you have two real sciences leading to this astrology, but astrology infers planetary orbits on the person's life, and, if you believe the first two, then this is also reasonable.

>Can you see how these sciences could work out and be tested? I wonder if there will be grant money for them in future...
Well, when the day comes and you bind it to yourself, tell me the costs. I am greatly interested in owning an artifact from the dimension sideways of the sun
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How do you stop forest fires? Drop wet blankets and/or TNT onto the area!

>Stopping wildfires
>Wildfires are a real problem, and making the forest or underbrush burn out before the fire gets there isn't good enough. How do you stop a fire then?

>Maybe if they were to drop something that feeds off of the fire onto the fire, it would 'eat' the fire and cause a chain reaction to go from place to place putting he fire out? With thermal technology they would know where the fires are before they become a problem, maybe setting these devices up on the outskirts of underbrush with a 'dish' to get all the information would be cheap and 'secure'.

>Then they could drop a wet balnket on the area, maybe a blanket made out of something non flammable, maybe a wet blanket made of something cheap, or maybe a bomb? dropping tnt would ignite it and suffocate the fire under the 'death' it brings, and the explosion would kill off the fire. Gunpowder is cheap, so drop bombs on the fire!
>I live somewhere relatively remote
...South Africa, perhaps?
I'm thinking somewhere like Russia.
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How do you stop the damaging effects of earthquakes? Drill down into the earth and fill all of the holes with rubber pillars!

>We cannot stop earthquakes, but we can stop the damaging effects. We cando this by drilling down into the earth and on the level under ours making a lot of subterranean holes that will merely echo the effects of the earthquake. Current measures include inserting rubber nto the 'plate', which is still carrying some force.

>By making these holes with support pillars, they will merely echo hrough the earth as the poles are still supporting the upper layer. Then they would not transmit as much force, actually a negligible amount, as the earth does not carry all of the force, as it merely shakes the support pillars, with a low amount of the pillars 'giving way', and then the rest will still support the upper layer.

>We should go for the most intermiadate level in hardness to make drilling eaiser. Then the earthquake will seperate the earth at a lower level and spare the upper level.

>The earthquake will still happen, but it won't damage anything, as it will seperate a bunc hof pillars in a line, sparrng the surface where we dwell. The rest of the pillars will shake a bit though, but won't cause any readl damage.
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How do you stop hurricanes? Build gigantic pillars outside of cities that cleave hurricanes in twain!

>To stpo a hurricane you need to find the centre of the storm and keep it over the outlying areas. You can do this by building pillars outside the city, huge wastes of time and money it might seem, but as the hurricane hits them they will meet enough resistance to dent them and stop the circulation of the air, making it distort in shape, splitting it in half eventually.

>With the air no longer forming a closed current, and having no force on the other side, already beenforced away from the centre, will stop circulating and die down into a mild breeze, or strong wind, but not a hurricane.

How do you stop tsunamis? Why, by using machinery to level out the sea bed, and setting up turbines to absorb power from the tidal waves and turn them into electricity instead!

>Tidal waves
>To stop a tidal wave you need to stop the momentum of the wave. These waves are very big so it would be hard, but, if you were to level out the sea bed with machinery, pushing the sand outwards from after the swimming zones, leveling it out basically, the wave would lose momentum due to the level and start crashing earlier.

>But that is expensive, so, maybe if they were to place turbines out at sea that absorb the waves power to generate electricity, big ones, they would, if secure, slow the wave down, and cycle a lot of it out to the bottom of the wave, making a huge dent in the wave.

>This would be a sound investment as it will generate a lot of clean electrcity too as well as denting the wave down to size
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How do you stop people from assaulting each other? Broadcast subliminal messages and imagery of hordes of dogs and Christians (alternatively, a "Macguyver pacifist army") chasing people who hit others!

>Eliminating assaults
>To eliminate assaults people should be brain wahsed by the televisoin and radios with subliminal messages of a horde of Christians and dogs chasing them down if they hit another person, except in a rin gof course where the evil 'demigogue' Christians cannot get them.

>This messaging would go down well with the public as it is for a good cause. The votes will sway way in favour of this message, continously broadcast for all the people to see and hear.

>Maybe replace the Christians with some sort of Macguyver pacifist army? They could be shown and said to use tricks to irritate the people forever as they are all too scared to throw the first punch for legal reasons, and so will try to force out the dregs of society that hit others.

>Or, just braodcast that people that hit others will no doubt sometime hit the wrong person and then go to jail!
I can already tell what's going to happen. He is going to tread on EVERYONE's toes, and gain enemies like nobodies business.
That character is lacking the forced-base-skills that all DBs get, I do believe.
Also, while his stats are high, he's basically untrained in a lot of things.

Also he has no charms selected.
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Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease can be cured by literally bleaching the brain, and by transplanting brain cells onto other parts of the body.

>Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease
>This disease is caused by the nerves in the braindying because they recieve too many prion porteins. If it is caused by a build up of these proteins, then maybe killing the proteins would restrict and then stop the the progress of thedisease and then the nerves could regrow themselves, as I am sure the brain can do that, or at the very least will stop the dying fo the cells at a still managable level.

>To stop the build up of prion protiens I would suggest that bleach be used on the brain, or something similar, that has the qualities for killing off the prion proteins, then there will be no build up, then suck it back up. This will be an expensive operation, but seeing as how it is so rare people won't be sucking their medical aides dry for killing it off.

>Otherwise, I would suggest that the protiens be used in some way, or, that the build up be freed by using something that will make the proteins reneter the body of the person. Maybe if the protiens recieved a message that the brain was not their destination, they would go elsewhere?

>If you placed brain cells elsewhere lower down in the body - from head to toe - then they would stop there and build up there? All that needs to be done is redirect the proteins to another stop, or make a way point that they will stop at before they reach the brain, possibly with the disguising of other organs as being the brain?
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Paying people in gold instantly solves credit crises, and basically doubles the money in the country. No wonder the GM wanted the party to accept physical gold as payment in the last thread!

Erasing the deficit and keeping money in hand
>If there is a credit crisis why don't they pay people in gold? If the reserves are there for the base of the money, and they just need to have the gold in the country to have the money in circulation, then they could also pay people in the gold, or the credit at least.

>If they were to sell all their gold to the banks, at moderate prices, the banks would back up the currency, as the gold is actually in the country. This shifts the balance from the banks into the normal banks and then they can basically double their money in the country and viola there is more credit. They could half the credit I suppose hat everybody owes, alleviating the banks, the banks no whave gold to base stuff on, and so forth.

>Of course if they were to do this then they could not sell their gold to other countries, which would also double their money. If the other country has all the gold, they may print more money, doubling thier working capital - currency value or money in circulation - and then the country that sold all their gold will have all the money they had doubled.

>It is one or the other. I suggest they rather sell all their gold to another country to double both countries money, and they could pay off some of the debt themselves. That money doesn;t dissapear, because every cent that is spent by the citizens eventually filters into sales tax brackets and then filters back to the state, so in fact they are upping their working capital this way too, by increasing the money in circulation to be collected by sales tax, and come back to them, and then they pay the people, and so on and so forth.

>If they sold gold to the banks - a solid investment - they could cancle a lot of debt. All it needs to double is two parties!
Creation works pretty well as your typical fantasy world. Civilization is besieged by hordes of chaos and the armies of the dark lords. The dwarves are very distinctly of the Tolkienian origin, moreso than normal D&D. The evil element-benders is pretty strange.
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The ideal way to stop the wars in Africa is for the governments to armor their vehicles in bulletproof glass, then run down the rebels. Alternatively, they could organize citizens into poisoning the militants, or chloroforming them and stealing their weapons.

>War in Africa
>There is a lot of war in Africa, and here are many solutions I have proposed in the past, but then maybe we need new ones?

>If the state was to armour their vehicles in layes of light weight bullet proof glass they could just run the enemy down as the militants don't have access to that, or, if they did, there would be a stalemate and then they would slow down. Even if you fire a rocket at such a vehicle it would only dent the glass, so that is an aggressive approach.

>I also proposed that the citizens be organised into poisoning the enemy, or be smuggled chloroform so that they could put the soldiers to sleep and steal their weapons.

>There is no real danger of bombs going off in cities as the fighting doesn't flow into the cities usually yet.
Although if you realize that the Realm is basically just an evil magocracy + political commentary it fits pretty well.
>Even if you fire a rocket at such a vehicle it would only dent the glass
What kind of magic bullet proof glass is available in Africa?
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All of this GM's writings are rational and logical.

>Things beyond logic and reason

>Nothing is beyonf logic and reason. I am not sure where this debate is going, but for reality to exist it has to react logically and coherently to exist. Existence is after all a lot of reactions, and things that react - with the proper understanding -are logical, no matter how complae.

>Look at pie, that has been figured out to the last billion decimals recently, so everything is logical because if it was illogical it would not work, and we live in a working universe.

>If you believe in chaos, then it would not work, so, unless you believe in chaos, you have to admit that the universe does work.

>If you do believe in chaos then how does your universe work? For there to be a reaction of any kind there has to be reactions, and reactions, no matter how perverted, work because there are reactions. Even a fialed science experiment works, because there are reactions, and reactions are coherent.

>Seeing as how everything works, it is logical.
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By setting up magnets to "gobble up" the electromagnetic pulses from the sun, we could have ourselves a new source of energy.

>Tapping the sun's energy
>There are electromagnetic pulses coming from the sun, so why don't we tap this energy?

>If we find a way to capture the energy, we will need some sort of magnet that gobbles up the pulses. If we were to collect the pulses they would buld up and release energy, so how do we capture them? If the pulses are elctromagneitc, then surely building an electromagnet is in order, but, should they push against the sun's ones, or go with the sun's ones?

>If they push against the sun's pulses then they will make some nergy, but that will tka energy, so we need to pull the sun's ones. Maybe with a magent that attracts all the things to it will charge up? If it absorbs the pulses then it will surely charge, so, set it up so it spans a thin area over a wide area, like a cone.

>Maybe if it is set up so that it is attracting the pulses it would need to be set so that pulses are trasferred into force, so, get the force from the sun to push it, but keep it in place, so there is resistance in a way, forcing the pulses into the magnet ad turbine or whatever.

>What do you guys think? What problems would I have? What errors are there in my logic? What still needs to be figured out?
>What do you guys think? What problems would I have? What errors are there in my logic? What still needs to be figured out?
Don't even know how to answer that question a nymore
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If you burn up sand and then stick it back into the ground, it will grow back more useful things.

>Ok, so seeing as how it sounds like a pretty good idea, and there aren't any bad points yet, it should be a good idea. I find it interesting that you think it will become useful again. If there is matter that is comprised of various things and you burn all those things, could it getting cooler again make it useful again? If we take a lump of rock and burn it up, will it ever 'rejuvenate' those pieces that were burned up?

>Well I know for a fact that sand grows bigger on the beach, but if you 'burn' all the useful things out of it and stick it back in the ground, will it grow more useful things? Of course it will, but it will need to grow bigger to get new 'pieces' of useful things, and will still leave 'holes' where there was once useful things that got used up. But that is sand.

>If you burn something and it turns to gas, it turns to gas because heat has been applied to it and it lost it'f form. Does anything actually stop existing? Then the form it is in is useless, but if you kept it for a while in a 'container', would it ever take on it's previous form? Seeing as how it is the same thing, just in another form, it should be possible to see it retake that previous form with any of a number of techniques, but will waiting do it?

>Seeing as how science simulates nature, and all things present in nature are present in science, or vice versa, you could see the useful form return to it's essence.

>Yes I think it is a good idea and apparently it seems to be useful too.

Wait wait wait, is that last line actually copied from the Manifesto?

He's directly addressing the readers as a group.

Did he write this FOR someone, or some group of people?

Is this man the leader of some crazy South African cult? Do they drink holy salt water for communion?
No, and your pic indicates you've figured it out:

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From what I understand, some of the sections here (I do not know the rough percentage) are copy and pasted from the GM's posts on various forums.

For example, that particular spiel on the sun's electromagnetism is from here:


Consequently, you can find more of the GM's posts here, but most of them are already in the .pdfs anyway:

sounds pretty useful for a cult leader
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Here is something significantly more meta: the thought processes that the GM goes through to solve the world's problems. It is reasonably sound, and yet... the GM executes it oh so very grievously.

>Problem solving
>It is quite a instersting thing to solve a problem, but, basically I usually use the following formula: Problem + relevance = answer. If you haven't found the answer yet, then you at least have new relevance to add to your previous relevance.

>Like, for example, if you are looking for a way to the shop, ad you walt down a street that seems to be closer, your new relevance is that you are in a new street, hopefully closer to the shop, but haven't found the shop yet, but you have made progress and found new relevenac ein being in the new street. There is no sure way to find your way to the shop, but, you will eliminate all the wrong ways soon enough.

>That is my method to solving my problems, and how I do this stuff, if you find it any good, then try my formual please, you won't look back!
>maybe a wet blanket made of something cheap, or maybe a bomb?

I don't get it, how can someone be this stupid and still be able to type? Does he have an aide to help him with the internet?
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Farmers should apply boiling water to their crops in cold conditions, and place them in big refrigerators in hot conditions.

>What do farmers do when he temperature reaches extremes?
>Well, they could try to keep their plants warmer or cooler, but to keep it simple, in other words not making covers for them, they need a quick easy option.

>So, they should try to - in cold conditions - srpay them with boiling water every so often. To heat the water they should attach a tank that will boil the water, like a big kettle?

>To cool them they should use cold water, maybe a big fridge?

>Making these kettles and fridges will be quite easy. Just take a big cheap metal or other type of good material container, hollow it out, fix it up so it doesn't leak, then, attach to it a lot of kettles or air condtitioner type things. That will save the crop, and use electricity too, but it is probably the ony option other than covering the crop!
>yfw some poor, innocent South African nanny is actually typing this all up for the physically/mentally crippled DM
>or his mom

I have some experience with schizophrenic people and many of them are like this, seemingly incapable of using proper logic, even past specific delusions they may have.
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In which the GM states that programming "should be based on scientific formulas rather thanmathematical ones."

>Better arithmetic logic unit ['sciunit]'
>The true path for progress in these things is to move from arithmetic and logic to scientific formula, as cience involves real world things. Science includes arithmetic and logic together, as well as a few other things too.So, to move forward they should be based on scientific formulas rather thanmathematical ones.

>Programming is a langauge, and langauge is an art, and art is a science, so the logical way forward is to work with science isntead of maths and logic, as it is combined then, with more.

>But how do we create this 'thing'? If we were to take a thing that works, in other words is fluent in all problems, then we would have a new 'sciunit', which is based on all the things that work. Basically, if it was to work in the real world, then it would work in the computer, so, instead of manufacturing it with artificial things, use a atomic unit. This will revela the true things insside each atom, and, will use them too.

>They will analyse the lay of the atomic sructure, and find ways to exploit it, by running many artificial inteeligence 'quests' to find the answer while idle. Then, it will find the true nature and uses of the atoms and everything making them up, with random tests into them, looking for energy and the like.

>But that is something else! If you were to use a sciunit that has all the scientifc properties placed into it, it will have no problem processing, well, anything. Maths is a limited langauge, that is why it is not used in finding properties fo things.

>Science is the langauge yuo want to use, as it is more descriptive of the things around and inside it. This might take a while to prototype, but mass production will yield super computers, and, f you allow an enetry point for new information, then you will be able to update the sciunit all the time, whenever you like.
What's really scary, is that behind all the nonsensical insanity, this guy has a small understanding of SOME of the things he writes about.
I thought schizophrenics had word salad accompanying their madness?
But isn't mathematics a science?
>"The logical way forward is to work with science isntead of maths and logic." - Brett Nortje

Delicious contradictions and doublethink.
Charms are all real useful.

What other MAAGICS he has?

>confluence of savant thought
Instantly familiarise yourself with any new bureaucracy you encounter

>grease flying south administration
>That's "geese flying south", not grease, btw
Compels your minions to work on a tast honestly and efficiently

He missed an Excellency prereq for one of those
>scent of crime method
You detect that somebody is feeling guilty
>tampering detection technique
You detect if somebody tried to tamper with things you're investigating, i.e. tried to pick a lock, alter documents, etc
>bloodhounds nose technique
Lets you much more easily track down who done the stuff you've been investigating

Yeah, he basically Sherlock there.

>observer awareness method
Pings if you're being watched
>ears of the snowy owl
You can eavesdrop through walls
>trackless walk style
You leave no evidence behind
>using logic we shall repudiate the need for logic.
>We can determine the non-existance of people by asking them if they are real.
>I thought schizophrenics had word salad accompanying their madness?

There are many types of Schizophrenia and even among them the symptoms vary a lot.

Also I'm talking about (relatively) high functioning schizophrenics.
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How do you cure West Nile virus? Oral ingestions of adrenaline and injections of growth hormones into the spine, of course!

>West Nile virus
>This is a very dangerous disease! You may fall unconscious of into a near coma, your reflexes may beomce hyper then diminsihed, the spinal chord may be affected and you may develop other diseases aswell. As a sign that you have it you may feel jaw pain.

>To cure the first type of this disease, the asymptomatic kind, you would first develop the disease, so you cannot treat it before you know you have it. Then, you need to administer adrenaline in a correct manner, as that will keep you from fatigue, I presume, and stablaise your reflexes.

>To make the spine recover you need to administer growth hormones, as that will keep it in a 'young' and 'growing' state, so that it will recover as it is affected, as, as you know, \something that is growing will recover, as it would otherwise be reffered to as stunted, yes?

>So a healthy dose of orally ingested adrenaline and, unfortunately, injected growth hormones to the spine will set the victims right again in little time, or, at least combat the disease. As always this is a cheap and working solution.

How do you cure Hantaviruses? Sugar and vegetables!

>This is also a terrible virus and it mainly affects your body temperature and intestines.

>To treat this virus, seeing as it affects those places of you and your body temperature, well, first, what causes your body to remain at a good temperature? Fuel of course, and fuel is sugar, so, eat lots of sugar to keep your body fuled.

>Then, to take care of your intestines, what would affect your intestines in a good way? Eating correctly of course, so, what should you eat a lot of? Vegetables are easier to digest, so stay away from meat I would suggest. That should reduce effects on your intestines and reduce the gastro you might suffer from.

>Eat sugar and vegetables, and you will defaet this diease quickly.
>Not being familiar with Exalted, can anyone tell me how horrid this character is for a 140 XP Dragon-Blooded?
He will die the moment anything looks at him funny.


Also with Lore 0, you are illiterate.
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The cure for lyme disease? Salt. Salt water rises once again!

>Lyme disease
>Lyme disease is carried by ticks and signs of it are that you develop a rash in a circle and then you devlop aches and pains. It spreads through the blood stream, then I think it infects cells, so, like aids, treatment should be covered by salt administered to the blood stream then absorbing the disease into it, then pooping it out.

>You should remember to take a lot of vitamen supplmenets while on the salt, then you should remain healthy.

Acne? Salt. Drink that salt water up.

>This is caused by dirt in the blood, so it is too much sugar. Teens especially are suceptible for this, so, take less sugar and lots of salt, to make the blood cleaner, as sugar in the blood is bigger than the rest of the good things, so it will absorb all the evil sugar!

Sinuses? Just take sugar, just like you would for hantaviruses. But wait... if acne is caused by sugar, could you accidentally give yourself acne as you are trying to cure hantaviruses or sinuses?

>For combatting this take lots of sugar to regulate and stabalise your body temperature, as suggar is fuel.
I just wanted to make side note that catgirl shaming sounds hilarious and it should be a thing.
No no no, you don't take Sugar, you take Suggar. Big difference between the two, one will drive all the good things out and rape your wife's tea, and the other is healthy goodness. Buy Suggar today, only 100$ a bag!
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How do you cure anemia? Eat lots of things with growth hormones, which can be found "in anything that is young," and eat plant seeds too! This will cause your red blood cell count to grow. Do not worry; if you have too much red blood cells, you will simply "poop them out."

>This is when you do not have enough red blood cells in your blood. To make more you simply feed them so they keep dividing, but, maybe you want them to divide faster? To feed them all you need to do is eat and drink, but, when it comes to making them divide faster, you need to add growth hormones, orally, to your body.

>This will be absorbed by all the cells and they will grow faster. I think that cells stop dividing because they reach a state where they would be clouding the body as it has reached an optimum state of being, so will only add excess to it.

>If you kept on growing more blood cells then you would eventually have to poop them out, but, seeing as how they are used when fighting diseases, you would be in good interest to divide them faster, and also grow them before they divide.

>So to mature them faster you need to eat and drink more, to make them divide faster you need to take growth hormones too.

>You can find gorwth hormones in anything that is young.

>To make them grow faster still, eat lots of seeds of plants, as they have the chemicals necessary for goring things, including your blood cells, and then they will help you a lot. Any kind of seed will do, even weeds and unopen flowers -the sort that will become flowers - and then you will reap the rewards.

>This will probably help with all kinds of diseases, as the more celss you have to fight it , the quicker you will recover.
>For there to be a reaction, there has to be a reaction
>Reactions work because there are reactions.

I can feel my brain trying to get into a mindset that would understand such a train of thought, but I feel as though this is somewhere that the human psyche just isn't supposed to go.

This guy is bubbling insanity wearing a façade of rationality and humanity. This is full blown schizo 'I-should-be-in-a-psyche-ward' crazy.
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How do you cure cholera? Eat only pure things, like baby food, for then there shall be no more impurities inside you to regurgitate!


>The main problem is that peoepl get sick when they are taking the salts and stuff. So, we need to prevent vommiting, of course!

>To do this you need to stop the body rejecting the intake. Now why do you vomit? To get other stuff out of your body, of course! So, you would want to keep yuor body from rejecting things. This means that, instead of adding fuel, you would want to eat less, so there is nothing to get rid of, because when you get sick you would be getting rid of any impurities in food, so, you would want to eat very little, or drink very little.

>That would mean that you would have no impurites to throw up, or, of course, that you need to refine your food intake. That means you would need to eat things like baby food, basically, then, you would have only pure things inside of you and then there would be no throwing up as there would be no impurites inside of you to throw up.

>So baby food is good for a disease, and then you can remain healthy too.
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>This guy is bubbling insanity wearing a façade of rationality and humanity. This is full blown schizo 'I-should-be-in-a-psyche-ward' crazy.

Should the GM be playing a Raksha, then?
He might play a funny Raksha. But I think that "might" is roughly 1%.
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>Programming is a langauge, and langauge is an art, and art is a science, so the logical way forward is to work with science isntead of maths and logic, as it is combined then, with more.

>art is a science
That ain't a catgirl, anon.
You wouldn't happen to be sick, would you?
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How do you save money in the aftermath of a natural disaster? Take the bits of the destroyed buildings and use cement fill to glue them back together!

>Disaster aftermaths
>There is always a lot of problems after a hurricane or earthquake, or tsunami. People usually just throw maoney at it, but, as always, there is a simpler way to deal with it, cheaper too.

>Now if you take the destroyed buildings - which is the main problem - they could just use cement and the big bits of the remnants of the buildings with the cement filler to reconstruct them.

>This is unskilled work and will take about a day for each household. Neighbours could help hoist the pieces and be further helped by those towing people that tow away cars to get the bits back togoether. This goes for commericla nd industrial buildings too, so fixing it can be quick and cheap.

>Then there are problems like burst water pipes, which can be fixed with metal strips and a wleding torch. Also cheap and quick.

>How about them electircl mains? That can be fixed with basically upgrading the cables, and contract it out. There will be a quick cheap reply here too. Nothing to disasters...
These are the best threads on /tg/.
This shit is whack.
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Surgical advice from the omniscient writer of the Nortjenomicon!

>Now this is something that I should really have no idea about, but, if you were to take the basics of paramedics, which everybody knows that has completed highschool, then maybe we can do something?

>Ok, first off you need to be able to close what you cut open. That means that you need to go carefully, as if you lose too much blood the person will die.

>Now, if you were to sew the wound closed you still lose blood, so what you want to do is create a block so no blood is lost. This means that you would want to insulate the blood loss in a flexible water tight substance, like jelly. If you were to stick a blob of jelly into the open wound, enough would make sure that you do not lose any blood, and, will be easy to cut through and falls back into place behind the scalpal. So jelly is not only for eating, but for surgery aswell.

>Next you would want to bind the wound closed properly. This could be achieved by using nitrogen to close the wound, as the ice will close the wound quickly and will melt away and get to room temperature and then expand again, but seeing as how the skin and organs or whatever have been drawn to close together mthe cold ice or whatever will serve as a binding for natural blood congestion which will be quicker and will serve as natural curing for the patient.

>The only thing we need to know now is how organs work, and that can be covered in high school biology, basically.

>So any graduate from high school needs a biology subject, a scalpal, some jelly and nitrogen.
What happens if I follow all of the medical advice in this PDF?
You die, become a vampire, and go to jail
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Advice for electricians the world over! Always remember to connect every wire to every other wire, and that "electicity is highly conductive"!

>This is quite complicated, as you need to find the right wires to attach to the other right wires. If you were to make sure that all the same colour wires joined with each other, then you would make it so it works, extension wise.

>To mak this easier, in other words any wires go anywhere, you could join them all together in a bunch, by making sure the wires themselves are all joining, so that every wire is connected to every other wire.

>This will guarantee that the right current goes to the right wire, as electicity is highly conductive. When it comes to cross talk - where the currents interfere with each other - that can be cleared up by making a simple 'adaptor' wherever you feel.

>Each wire goes into the adaptor and gets spun outwards into the adaptor - which is actually just a metal box encased in plastic - and all the wires meet up with and are held by thier plastic holder thing. Then you use something similar to a train track regulator to make atches until you are satisfied.

>This is cheap and easy to learn.
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There is such a thing as the largest prime number!

>The largest prime number

>To find the largest prime number, just say the following...

>If you take the essential number, being one, and say that [largest prime number] = [x] minus square root. [X] will be your answer.

I... ummm... what? Could anyone possibly parse this?
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By "recording" sunlight with a solar panel onto a lightbulb, you can grow crops twice as fast!

>Farming and gardening
>This sounds quite easy, but is it? If we were to take a plant and see what it needs, it needs sunlight to grow. There must be a cheap way to supply them with sunlight throughout the night too, surely?

>If we were to record the sunlight onto a solar panel, it could light a bulb for the duration of the night, basically, halving the time needed to grow a crop, so, in fact, you could grow two crops in one time period if you were to use solar panels and flood lights.

Ah yes, he has ESP. Sounds about right.
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So, in the wonderful world of mathematics, under the context of P and NP, "P" stands for "polynomial" and "NP" stands for "nondeterministic polynomial." NP is *not* a formula.

>P = NP?

>In the case if [P], or polynomial time = [NP], or things verified by polynomial time, do they equal each other?

>If polynomial time equals [NP], then why not break it down? If [P] is the foundation for [NP], then [NP] relies on [P] to exist. If they were the same then they would both be [P], but, seeing as how [NP] is a 'baby' of [P], then it may not be.

>To find out if they are the same, well, the [P] in [NP] must be equal to [P], but, the [N] is not equal to [P].

>In maths, which is basic computer langauge, [NP] is equal to [N] + [P], so, it is equal to [2P + N], basically. If you were to determine [N] and [P], it should be easy from there on in.

So, in the GM's mind, NP is a formula.

Also in the GM's mind, NP does not mean N * P... it means N + P. Which is then equal to 2P + N... somehow, somehow, despite that being possible only if P was zero.
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The more I read the more confused I am...

Read it all.

Only enlightenment now.
Because likely schizophrenia.
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The solution to expanding the virtual landscape of the internet is throwing it all up into outerspace. Either that or into the earth's crust. The same could work for radio and television too!

>Wouldn;t it be nice if the world had better internet communications? I mean if they were totaly reviewed and made faster it would be wonderful.

>So how could we improve the internet? At the moment it is set with a specific amount of adresses, so it seems to be fixed. It is also quite a worry with the idea of running out of space for new internet adresses, but I hear that has been fixed,

>I can't recall how right now, but it has.

>As it stands now it is like a great big virtual landscape, with servers and port adresses to boot. How could we improve it though? With it as it is now, it would stand to reason to try to make it all wireless, for a start, but how about making the servers virtual also? I mean if the servers were just in the air, then there would be overheating or anything.

>So, to make it wireless and virtual we could try to basically throw it out into the air and stuff, in the form of electricity that we prevent from earthing, maybe in outer space?

>To get that right we need to, without using sattelites, throw it out into the air and keep it there. First it would be a good idea to replicate everything a million times over so there will be no 'server crashing', and then maybe if we were to try to access it it would be always easily accessible? If we were to send it out into the cosmos it would remain there, as there isn;t any earth to earth it, basically.

>Or, we could turn our whole planet into a repository for all of it!
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This guy is taking "the cloud" way too seriously. Are you sure he isn't a pointy haired boss?
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>If electrcity earths, does it dissapear? No! So we could send all the signals into the earth and then replicate it a couple of billion times so that it is everywhere in the earth, then can be accessed from around us and deep space too, eventually when we are travelling. This will clear up traffic jams and make it all instantly accessible and require no servers and may be encrypted also, for security reasons.

>We could do this for radio and television too, globalising the whole thing, so, in any country they can get the basic channels of the other place. Imagine people in Africa watching free channels of Europe? I think people could also pay more for their television license too then!
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The ideal replacement for a welding torch and conventional metals? Liquid metals that are cool to the touch, but that dry up like super glue!

>We seem to have all the tools we need for engineering, but how could we make it cheaper and easier to use? Take a welding torch, that guzzles fuel and power, so, how could we make it better?

>If we were to instead use somethng safe, that we could work with directly through our hands playing a part without gloves, we could work better wonders with them. This would mean that we would need something that welds metal, but s not dangerous.

>I suggest that we use a liquid metal to make it more precise. Liquid metal would be quite cool to the touch, but dry like super glue - just get it off your hands before it dries! Liquid metal could be like plastic that is very durable, basically we could take some metal and melt it, then without letting it dry, add water.

>Then, we could take this cooled metal, that is full of water and lquified, and then add it to the structure and use a hair dryer to make it solid again, still being metal, but also safe to use. We could use a 'scraper' to get rid of the excess metal before it dries.
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The solution to snow on train tracks? Mount *FLAMETHROWERS* to the front of the trains, so that they can melt away the snow!

>If there is still a problem with the trains in America, then there should be a solution.

>A train has a snow seperator at it's front that seperates the snow as the train passes through. Now if they were to place a flame thrower at the front of the train, powered by the engine of course, then it would be quick quick through that snow.

>A flame thrower could be pulled out of any workshop and souped up so the flame extends a great distance in front of the train, not damaging the upcoming track, but rather destroying the snow in front of the train for a short distance.

>hey this psychotic gibberish makes no sense

Well fucking duh.
Metal as fuck.
To be fair, that one's pretty fucking cool.
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Remember what the GM was saying about logic earlier (>>25965204)? They apparently take that all back, defining logic as... the opposite of what logic is.

>Logic comes from the path of least resistance, where your own ideas do not conflict with the knowledge you have, so there is no resistance to the idea.

The way to improve upon cold fusion is to replace the water with metal, which is left out in the sun under a magnifying glass, so that it can heat up.

>Cold fusion
>So I gett hat you want more energy out than being put in, but then you need fuel for the energy. I suggest that the water be replaced with metal and the metal be left out in the sunlight uder a magnifying glass or something.

>If you want the temperature to rise, putting anything under a seres of magnifying glasses or other thing that uses natural heat to make more energy would requirw the sun or some other form of fuel.

>I suggest metal because it can get very hot, or, placing sand in a shallow meatl containing device could reap rewards. Looking to water just reminds me of steam power.
You got a sauce on that reactionpic?
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Ah, yes! The "take a picture, then reverse the light to see what had happened in the past" technique appears a fourth time!

The first three times...

>The best way to solve crimes is to have physical evidence of what happened there. Sometimes ther are no witnesses, so, if you take a camera and a computer, you can take the crime scene, take a photo of it, and rewind it as the light is millions of years old. The actual light reflects off of the surfaces of the matter around it, so you could rewind the light and reveal the goings on in that place.

>This brings me back to one of my earlier inventions. if there is no violence, everyone is safe. now, if there is a camera set up to take a picture of the crime scene, and then it gets reversed frame by frame with the light source illuminating where things were, you could identify the thief or robber or criminal. all you would have to do is follow the light source to where the robber went.

>The method is where the light reflects off of the surface of solid matter and is actually a few million years old, as it travels at the speed of light and then bounces off of surfaces.


>Police procedure
>When it comes to solving crimes, I thought that my light speed revergin camera would do the trick, but let;s say the person is wearing a a mask? What they?

>Well, how about breathalyser technology? The person has to be present when they are doing the crime, and they leave a unique breathe for the crime scence, and a person walking around with a gas mask is quite noticeable to say the least, as well as the fact that these things are quite expensive, and the police could follow them with the camera technology to where they take off their masks.

>This double strike of breathe analysis and visual evivendence will surely put criminals away for good!

Am I misremembering, or has his typing/spelling degraded over time?
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I have actually been quoting a mix of the original, 1,070 page document and more recent "sequels," so there is no correlation between time and writing quality.
Empowered, looks like.
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Remember this, everyone?

>They could simply make the area a peaceful place by taking the militants and using the electronic magnetic pulse theory in the rural areas. This would mean that they need to generate a pulse of magnetism that will jam all their communications and weapons by magnetizing the weapons so that the bullets get attracted to the barrels of the guns and then they will make for jammed weapons.

It rises again!

How do you achieve world peace? Send out radio waves and gamma rays that cause bullet cases to attach to the firearms, rendering them unusable, and then use plastic weapons to round up the bad guys!

Surely, nobody will simply use, say, non-metallic weaponry or simply metal blades!

>To bring peace to the whole world all at once all we need to do is to make the weapons obsolete.

>If the west was to send out a level radio wave of gamma rays equal to the metal of the gun they could make it magnetic so that they would all not work. This means they could rip through Africa where all the wars are, and also those Philipine places where the tigers and that rot live. They could do this by placing a tripod at waist level and sending out a ray that travels in a complete circle so as to make all weapons bullets cases attached to the weapons making the unworkable. This will make all normal weapons unable to fire.

>Then the western peace keepers could use plastic weapons to just round up the baddies and goodies and take them to court where they can settle their differences. We could design this weapon by sending out protons and then flooding the electrons so they cannot flow any more, as there needs to be an equal amount of each or so to operate. This will only affect weapons and I don't think it is lethal to people.
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Apparently, corruption is perfectly okay, and it does not disrupt people's finances at all!

>Why is there such uproar about corruption? If they take money for something to be done, it gets done at a cheaper price so there is less expenditure involved. It in no way involves the people's finances at all!

And I thought that this GM was anti-corruption. Perhaps the GM is inconsistent on political matters?
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I am off for the night.

The GM's game of Exalted (of which they are not the GM; I just call them that for the sake of tradition) begins in 15 hours.

I shall maintain a record of highlights from the game.
I don't recognise that mask from anybody there and it lacks the signature puffy lips.
Why does this guy keep on trying to fix EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM in the world with batshit insane "solutions"?

Inb4 all of this works out and you felt like publicy shaming a fellow roleplayer in /tg/ instead of talking to them AGAIN, colette.

Though I will admit I giggled.
oh not this retarded colette-calling again...

The general consensus is that he is legitimate crazy.
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>If they take money for something to be done, it gets done at a cheaper price so there is less expenditure involved.

That's...that's the exact opposite of what happens.
>Build gigantic pillars outside of cities that cleave hurricanes in twain!

I love this idea just because of how awesome the image in my head is of a hurricane being split in half.. Too bad hurricanes aren't solid things so the wind would just blow around it. The pillars would have to be more like really massive fuck-long walls.
I remember when I thought that rewinding photos was a great idea. I was six.
>talking to them

There is nothing in the world you can say to calm down this level of crazy.
Post more Satori.
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I'd be interested in more of his crazy ideas about finance and the economy myself. Or anything else that's kinda nuts, really.
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Don't get me wrong, though. I read the whole thread.
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Unfortunately, >>25974376 is correct.

<Me> <GM>, messages for you.
<Me> <Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Issues with GM's sheet that need to be fixed before he can play: Favored Abilities aren't marked; XP-spent needs to be detailed; Backgrounds are missing; Backstory is incompatable
<Me> <Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Intimacies are missing; motivation is not even heroic, let alone epic
<GM> oh.
<GM> ok, well we got another six hours...
<GM> brb.
<GM> ok, so nobody likes my character?
<GM> Me?
<GM> you there?
<Me> It could use improvement.
<GM> how?
<GM> it is perfect :)
<GM> i am perfect!
>If the state was to armour their vehicles in layes of light weight bullet proof glass they could just run the enemy down as the militants don't have access to that, or, if they did, there would be a stalemate and then they would slow down. Even if you fire a rocket at such a vehicle it would only dent the glass, so that is an aggressive approach.

Where did he learn this approach to "war" from, Grand Theft Auto?
He most likely thinks that tanks can fly if they shoot backwards.
>This will guarantee that the right current goes to the right wire, as electicity is highly conductive.

What school of logic does he come from?

Schizophrenic? Not so much.

However, this guy is definitely schizotypal. ie: Magical Thinking.
Ah, my favorite thread returns!
And drink the blood of the young for immortality, you cannot forget that gem!
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All I could think of, and I don't even really watch this show
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How do you stop the war in the Congo? Blow up all the mines! Or use an EMP bomb to destroy all the weapons (somehow)! Or use an electrical signal to ignite all of the gunpowder in the country!

>To eradicate the war in the congo, which is about electronic components, you need to destory the mines. Simple bombings of these mines from aircraft will see them repeatedly destroyed, and then they will be unable to make them and give up on them and fighting for them. That seems to be option one, no lives lost, and, seeing as how the country cannot use them, neither should the insurgents!

>Or, they could use a electromagnetic bomb to short out all the weapons they have. If you were to disable the communications by using this bomb, it should be easy to beat them.

>Now if you were to make this bomb, I suggest you make it a powerful electic signal that blows all the transistors of the devices. If there was a powerful electric pulse that made them work overtime and eventually stop functioning then their communications and tank radios will be destroyed.

>Or, they could use an electrical signal to trigger all the gunpowder to go off. If gunpowder is flammable, then it will be easy to make it ignite and blow up all the weapons that they have at their disposal, and then they would be weaponless.

>This electrical signal could be sent via radio transmission and excite the powder so that it ignites. To excite the powder you need to sne dout a burst of static electricity that is instant and does not last for longer than a split second. Then they will see their weapons destroyed, I guess...
Is this how cults start?
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How do you clean up polluted water? Use a sieve to filter out all the impurities, and then apply photon lasers and antimatter!

>To clean up the water immediately you need to drag a sivve through the water to collect all the oil pollution.

>For long term progress we need to clean up the oil before it leaves the refinery. If we were to collect all the waste oil into containers, then we could burn it with a photon laser that could destroy it permanently.

>Photon lasers work on anti matter being made. You make anti matter by sending anti protons into the mass of it, and then it evaporates.

>Or, we could collect the oil into a pipeline and send it for making plastics. Funnel the oil down to a colection place and process it.

Apparently, the way a state works is that it gets money from the people to pay for the people's livelihoods. And "UN hackers" can stop wars by draining aggressor states of their money!

>To stop African wars we need to get them to a table to talk. If hey don't want to talk - the rebels - then we need to explain how a state works. The state gets money from the people to pay for the people's livelihoods.

>They have no right sto impose any sort of religious law upon them, and if they do they will face sanctions, making life harder for them, and they will be unhappy ruling and the people will be up in arms. Then there are the wars about land and resources. If they were to fight over land, then they should be told that they will also face sanctions fro mthe first world.

>What should happne in the case of a sate going to war with another, the agressor should have their banks raided by UN hackers and their money set aside until they stop their war. This means no money coming from the state to the people, and vice versa, griding eveything to a halt.
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>an entire cult of fa/tg/uys going along with their guru because they find him entertainingly crazy
>five years later choking down healthy and restorative salt water with their brother-husbands in the compound they realize this joke has gone on too long
We actually do the radio signal thing. It's part of standard ECM on fighter planes. If you focus the plane's radar directly on an incoming missile, you can cause enough energy buildup to short out its targeting computer. I dunno if it's enough to cause it to detonate, but there are whispers of attempts to use the same principle to fry enemy pilots in their cockpits.

Applying the same idea to explosive traps barely buried isn't so outlandish.
What about detonating all gunpowder?

Or this?


>Bombs. To stop bombings we need to get rid of all the organic components in these areas. To get this done we could simply 'gouge' them out with a sensor to find all combustible materials from these areas to see where the combustibles are.

>This could be achieved by using a beam emitted from a sensor to check where the materials are, identifying linen and other things from deposits of manure - which goes into these bombs. Then we could program the sensor so that the beam picks up 'scents'. Failing this from a sensor we could use a 'chemical sensor', like a dog's nose, more or less, detecting these things.
Well, the first problem is that organic matter intercepts a shitload more energy from all wavelengths than metal does, cause we're full of squishy water that happily intercepts waves. And so are plants.

So yes, you -could- make a machine that could pass over large tracts of land and detonate all the mines, but that machine would also be a deathray that spontaneously combusts any organic matter you put under it. Like the entire fucking forest/plains where those mines are buried.

But hey, the mines are gone.
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Have a look at the GM's karma bar. Mouse over it.

>Charlatan needs help following rules and/or basic logic.

Onto the main event. The GM demonstrates their expertise on matters of ESP and electrical currents!

>I have esp, but I bet you people would like to see me prove it, right?

>The best explanation I have for how esp works is that it is due to your mental energy translated into energy that carries information. I have gotten language that I do not understand so it is down to actual language and not meaning that drives the information, but maybe it translates too? Hard for me to know, as I am just using it. It's like driving a car and not knowing what actually makes it go, but being able to drive it all the same.

>The energy is not bound by our bodies, as our bodies are not restricting electicity for example - it passes right through us doesn't it? So it must be information that carries to a point in our everpresence - it is everpresent while we are not. So when you think your thought to your recipient you are making an everpresent angle for them to recieve it - a straight line. When you embrace more than one person you make a rapport with more then one source, which is also possible.

>But what is this energy and how do we understand and control it? I suppose it would be transmitted from 'electrical' manifestation to manifestation, as we are elctrical manifestations along with physical ones aren't we? To communicate with another manifestation, we simply identify our target manifestation and conduct our 'energy' or information towards that manifestation of electrical information translation or point so that it recieves it, but what you have to do is beleieve it or it won;t work, because if you don't listen you won;t get any feed back. I suppose that's how people spoke to God, or Mohammed for that matter when he spoke to Allah, that he believed what he heard, spoke and listened too.
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>So what is this energy? It must be elctric, like a pulse, and be everpresent. So we have an everpresnt electrical 'pulse' that meas we can communicate with everything living, animals included, and the deceased who are still energy manifestations and can communicate.

>And that is about all I can think of right now. Do you people believe me?

>Well are you familiar with the energy centers of the body? They have been thought to run along the spine, but I have identified that they run throughout the skeletal form of the body, where energy is guided like a way point. That is why there is build up of enrgy there, because it stops witing to be redirected, like a breath but much faster.

>Once you have identified these points and activated them through breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, you may feel the 'magic' well up inside of you where you pictured your power centres. From these centres you may harness your menatl energy and thrust it out from your body with mental imagary and or direction. With proper practice you can do nearly anything. But that is magic.

>This energy comes from your own mind and conscious - like conscious energy. This conscious energy goes where you want it to go or to whom you want it to go to, or come from, so you can effectively read someone's mind. If you tap into that person's energy you can communicate with them, all you have to do is listen to the information and you will learn, if you listen to the right information that is.

>This energy is everpresent, and goes right through you then. When you send information, you actually just say it in your mind, but this everpresnt stuff that goes right through you transmits it all over the world. So there is no line, my aplogies, but rather like being underwater with the water going right through you, so when you say something it is like sonar that isn't physical, but rather carried all over the place, so you could hear what people are saying in general too.
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>Have you heard of the fourh dimension? Well this is similar to that, but it isn;t able to be seen physically, because it isn;t physical, but rather energy that we could see, as we could see sonic vibrations if in the right place in the right dimension with the right equipment.

>So this everpresnt field is always at work channeling all the thought os the world in another spectrum. This energy is unable to be seen and is a transmitter of thoughts or information, or sound, as your mind makes sounds too, as it works with electrical impulses, and you can hear electricity, this is merely a extension of your mind to the greater conscious of the universe.
This guy is a Malkavian. He has to be.

Just enough potential truth in all the bullshit.
Of course he's a Malkavian! Haven't you been keeping up with the threads?

>To live forever, aging is like a disease, caused when the cells stop dividing, called sesenence or something. To live forever, or younger, and regain your youth, you need to injest the blood of younger people that still have dividing cells, replacing your cells with theirs, maybe a blood transfusion would work too?
I've seen them around, but this is the first time I've popped in.
Did he select a charm or ten yet?
But he does have charms!

<bureaucracy> confluence of savant thought, grease flying south administration,
<Investigation> scent of crime method, tampering detection technique, bloodhounds nose technique,
<larceny> observer awareness method, ears of the snowy owl, trackless walk style,

Grease Flying South Administration!
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This avatarfagging makes the thread sorta hard to read
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The group has broken down and decided to make this poor GM (again, not the actual GM of the Exalted game) their character for them, with their all-too-easily-given approval.

Since this is a group of lower-powered characters in a post-apocalyptic Creation, they are in the process of making an... Abyssal Half-Caste. I am not quite certain how that works.

Here is the work-in-progress sheet:

>Name: Ten Wang
>Caste: Half-Abyssal (Midnight and Daybreak)
>Motivation: Replicate the supposed debautchery of the First Age
>Intimacies: Narcotics (want), Others (dismissal), Work (disdain)
>Variant: Scam Artist
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>destiny not heroic or epic enough

I actually think a character whose goal is to be epically unbothered would be an interesting experiment. This guy probably isn't the person to accomplish this goal, though.
That word. It does not mean what you think it means.
>The state gets money from the people to pay for the people's livelihoods

So is this guy on disability?
>4h dimension

My god, it's full of cows
A lot of this guys stuff reminds me of comic book logic. They take a tiny peice of information completly out of context, misunderstand it, and finaly come up with some wild crazy idea they have extrapolated from it.
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So, the Exalted game is beginning in several minutes. I will be giving highlights of the GM's antics (again, not the actual GM of the Exalted game) as they come up.

For some context, this is the basic premise of the game:


Basically, the characters are half-castes, fae-blooded, ghost-blooded, etc. who have awoken in test tubes in a manse, courtesy of someone named "David Ikarzi."

Apparently, the Loom has fallen apart and Creation has gone post-apocalyptic.


>The Loom has failed, and it is up to our intrepid heros to save Creation from the aftermath! As they wander through the newly wrecked civilizations, they discover the events leading up to the disaster. However, there are strange and alien things that have taken interest, and they will not sit idle while our heros trample their plans...

>Though strands of society have survived, the bulk of it has been anhilated. Seed villiages have begun to form around Creation, slowly bringing life back to the damaged realm. But without significant forces, the lack of the Loom cripples their efforts. But now, champions are stepping forward, thrown into a world drastically altered from what they expected, but raised as a set. They stuble upon the nigh-ruinned city of Nathir, encounter an agent unknown seeking their assassination and set-up trades with the other local towns.

>So, what are the characters like? How has life growing up in a virtual reality populated mostly by themselves and David Ikarzi affected them? What is their relation to the other members of their cell? What are they expecting the Loom-broken Creation to be like?
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So, for reference, the GM (again, not the actual GM of the Exalted game) is "ten-wang" here.

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (Day 1); While you get your bearings the voice repeats itself in a soothing tone.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "Excellent! You're all awake now. Of course, that's only the first thing. We have to make sure you're ready for the world now. Please follow the blue arrow into the first test chamber. We'll be testing to make sure you're not some unloving sociopath. Because that would be bad. Please follow the path the bright blue arrows lead you on."
* ten-wang follows.

We are off to an austere start. Remember, this GM claims to have *16* entire years of experience with RPGs.

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (This is a good opportunity to describe yourselves)
<Ismaru> Pain. Unrelenting, wretched pain. A shape arises to its feet, silhouette flickering briefly before a woman form emerges. Strawberry blonde mess of hair laced with streaks of red, narrowed eyes with elongated eyelashes - it's surprisingly hard to put a finger on details of her appearance at first.
* ten-wang is ugly, 5 10, slim, and has non descript features.

The GM's character sheet has Appearance 5. Their character must be alluringly ugly and nondescript.

These are just introductions; I eagerly await the action.
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "This next test is paramount. It is obviously undesired to have unleashed a wandering set of super-powered murder-hobos into Creation, so we will test you empathy. This will be completely unstrenuous for your physical forms."
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> The tunnel quickly dumps you into a large arena, you descend through a few dozen empty rows of seats in the circular room towards the dusty ground. Two brown forms and a white form are visible in the middle of the arena. A large door slams shut behind you, sealing you inside the chamber.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "Remember, this is a test of compassion. Your task is to simply hug the teddy bears."

* ten-wang ignores the brown teddies and hugs the white one.

I like how, without any further explanations whatsoever from the actual GM, they go and hug the white teddy bear and ignore the brown ones. Even when the task is to hug the bears, plural.

This person lives in South Africa.

Totally not a racist or anything.

... if this is a test of empathy, does that mean that they lack empathy towards brown people?
To be fair, if I lived in South Africa, I'd probably be a racist too.

I'd lol if the brown forms were the teddies and the white one was something else, maybe a rabbit, making him have failed to even partially complete the task.

Keep us updated. I want to know how the actual GM handles him.
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> The two brown forms are quite sizable and very fuzzy. The white form is actually a pile of bones. One of the brown forms shifts, rapidly beginning to stand tall. It lets out a bellow which you are quite certain is that of a real, live, grizzly bear.

The other characters respond either heroically or casually (since experienced half-castes find grizzly bears to be trivial opponents).

The GM, on the other hand...

<Ismaru> "Hug these things?" A mischievous tint in her voice, Ismaru approaches. "Oh, I'll hug you alright."
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "Don't be shy. There's five teddies. One for each of the... four... of you!"
* ten-wang lies down pretending to be dead.

They are not going to succeed on this test, are they?
OP I'm copying down every bit of medical advice this man has written down. My next character is going to be a quack of epic proportions.

Guess it's true what they say about Abyssal Half-Castes.
>The white form is actually a pile of bones.
Called it! Actually, that's even more extreme than I called.

I'm not quite clear on what's happening. Are the PCs all together? If so, how did the others do on the test? Has Ismaru failed it for all of you?
>OP I'm copying down every bit of medical advice this man has written down. My next character is going to be a quack of epic proportions.

Did you check the advice for curing diseases from the last two threads?
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Yes. The PCs are all together. The others are not having too much trouble simply grappling the bears.

Meanwhile, "Ten-Wang" is still lying down on the floor and pretending to be dead.

Quite the hero.
Someone should use the Nortjenomicon as a basis for a Genius: The Transgression dimension/plane/thingee.
I am literally in the middle of making a Genius character right now, and am stuck for a concept. I just might do that.
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Well, well, "Ten-Wang" has finally hugged a bear.

* ten-wang runs to hug the bears legs that are being held by sekhmet.

Due to Exalted's weird grappling rules, anyone not in control of a grapple is considered inactive (i.e. completely deprived of all defense values), so "Ten-Wang" was able to clinch that bear without a roll.

Their craven tactics finally paid off!

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> A loud gong resonates throughout the chamber.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "Congratulations, you have all hugged the teddy bears without dying! The next test is one of endurance. You will cross fifteen yards of boiling water."

But how will they handle this?
What was even the point of playing dead? So that the bones didn't attack him?

Why cross the boiling water? Bathe in it to cure all ailments! x2 if it's salt!
Heh this is kind of turning into The Truman Show. Am really hoping the Gm goes off on a ranting monologue at some point.
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> The far door opposing the entrance opens through a series of intricate locking mechanisms being disengaged, while Sekhmet's bear frees itself to attack her. An immense amount of heat begins to enter through the open doorway, as a soft red glow illuminates the walls of the next tunnel.
* ten-wang runs to the next room!
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> ten-wang dashes like a slimy coward towards the exit, only to abruptly halt infront of a pit of boiling lava.
* ten-wang loox...
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (To avoid environmental damage, you may also activate soak boosting Charms, such as Spirit Hardened Frame.)
* ten-wang loox if there are walls to climb to get to the other end...
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (ten-wang: Lava is environmental damage. Which may be reduced with soak-boosting Charms. Such as the Resistance Charm Spirit-Hardened Frame.)
<ten-wang> [if the bears die, can we make a bridge out of the bleachers of the arena?]

Meanwhile, out-of-character:
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> ... ten-wang: please look at your charm list.
<ten-wang> i need my 'body gaurds.'
<Me> What... what bodyguards?
<Sekhmet> Us.
<Sekhmet> The players.

Will "Ten-Wang" be intelligent enough to activate Spirit-Hardened Frame, the charm that the actual GM of the Exalted game had given him (and outright recommended twice!), and that is clearly on his character sheet?

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Ismaru successfully tosses a bear into the lava. Though a flying bear's anguished screams of panic a completely non-conducive to pleasant dreams, the screams of a bear being burned to death are very much less so.
<Ismaru> It defies logic. How does a fragile girl like that grab a 550 lbs bear and hurl it twelve yards into the next room? Letting out a triumphant shout of "THERE YOU GO!", followed by a sprint toward the door and an encouraging shout; "You have your stepping stone, use it!"

Will "Ten-Wang" be able to take advantage of this?
You've inspired me anon. when next I play Mage I'll have the major healer for the Consilium use this nonsense for his spells. So long as he's recommending salty water you're safe, but some of the things he'll try foisting on you might be worse than what you were trying to cure.
><Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> ten-wang dashes like a slimy coward

Yes! I believe Ten-Wang will be able to make the tactically sound suggestions given him by the GM and other player! Please?
Haven't gotten to the old threads yet.

I'm going to need to print these out and make a psuedo tome I can browse while playing.
><Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "Don't be shy. There's five teddies. One for each of the... four... of you!"
Hahaha. I approve of AGotEG.

>You will cross fifteen yards of boiling water.
I was kind of expecting this to be actual boiling water, just boiling at roughly room temperature because of a sudden drop in air pressure to about 1% of normal. Not sure if that happens in Creation though.
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So, after hearing of "Ten-Wang's" insane plan, the GM broke down and just activated the relevant charm for him.

<ten-wang> okay, new plan, i want to use the bones as a high jump pole to get across.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Sure, ten-wang, stunt it up nice.
<ten-wang> how many dice do i roll?
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (Str+Ath+Str+Ath for long jump. Yes, your pool is both traits doubled)
<ten-wang> !e 2
<Roller> ten-wang: 1 [2, 7]
<ten-wang> [yay!]
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> ten-wang: you find the trek took you a while (6m spent on SHF)
<ten-wang> i don't mind.

I like how the GM did not even bother actually describing what "Ten Wang" was doing in-character, let alone actually roll the correct dice pool.

Who comes up with an insane plan to use a pile of bones as a pole vault anyway? I know that this is Exalted, and stunts can be a bit crazy, but this is pushing it somewhat, especially when the character lacks Craft or any relevant stunts entirely.
><ten-wang> okay, new plan, i want to use the bones as a high jump pole to get across.

Give this man a medal.
><ten-wang> okay, new plan, i want to use the bones as a high jump pole to get across.

I don't know Exalted, so can I just break down what happened:
>ten-wang has idea to jump, when he could just use his charm.
>GM assumed he's using his charm anyway, then tells him to roll to jump
>he rolls, success

What was wrong about the dice pool? What size are the dice, and why did rolling 2 and 7 on them equal 1? What's SHF and the significance of taking time?
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Meanwhile, out-of-character:

<ten-wang> so you want me to butcher your story/game/world?
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Hmm?
<ten-wang> you said my goal is debautchery.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Ah. See, you might be missing some context here.

At least the GM is self-aware here.
Ten-Wang, master of the English language.
Exalted dice are d10s. 7, 8, 9 = 1 success, 10 = 2 successes.

He probably had more dice to roll.

1 success means a very short jump, so he had to spend more time wading through the lava.
Stallman is your GM?
I see. His character sheet, from OP's pastebin, lists him as having strength 2 and doesn't list athletics, so unless he's just given it the wrong name or something, 2 dice is correct.

>so he had to spend more time wading through the lava.
I see. Which he was able to do thanks to his charm, but which the GM simply didn't fluff.
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "So, champions, are you ready to be ground into red paste?"
<Ismaru> "I... are you guys fighters? If not, let me know now." She looks sincerely worried, gaze sweeping over the party as she tries to evaluate their prowess.
<Sekhmet> "I am a fighter."
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> A door opens, revealing a path forward.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "Then continue half-mortals, and witness as one-by-one you become little more than useless, organic matter."
<ten-wang> "i am a... a... buerucrat..."

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "Fear his intense battle form! Behold his lightning swift reflexes! He is the herald to your doomed ending! The combat-testing golem Skull Render the Annihilator!"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Another door opens, into the continuing corridor.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "His is the blade that cleaves the heavens themselves! It is his tread that shakes the earth! His breath that rips cities into dust!"

* ten-wang grabs a pole and a shirt to put on it.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (Like a dummy?)
<ten-wang> [yes]
* ten-wang sticks the dummy out the door... looking for a response from... the thing...
<Ismaru> Ismaru stares at Wang for a brief moment, before letting out a slow, pained exhale. "You should probably stay in the back, mister."
<Ismaru> Moving forward to pace beside Sekhmet, the woman nods respectfully. "I'll go for the flank, if you can keep it from our ... bureaucrat here."

I must say, "Ten-Wang's" plans are clever and ingenious.


That should have been doubled.
I knew abguy from Kenya was exactly this type of crazy, but less literate.

he got an MBA from a brick and mortar school. Made me realize how fucking worthless the BA I got from them was
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> You finally enter another arena, this one lacks the grandeur of the last one, white-brick walls spiral upwards into what seems to be infinity. A lone humanoid made of metal stands before you, his terrifying battlestance causes his knees to repeatedly slam into each other causing that clanging noise. His expert swordsmanship is demonstrated as he holds his short sword point down with both hands. His immense presence does not even reach four feet in height.

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> A door slams behind the group, the sudden loudness causes the thing to jump up in combat readiness.

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> "Behold your death-maker! Skull Render the Annihilator. Only you /or/ he will leave in one piece. Not both." Loud battle music drowns out any possibility of a normal conversation (social attacks get a -3i penalty).

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Skull Render initiates combat by flinging his sword in a direction that is not you, and activating his most advanced combat protocol: grabbing his head and running around in circles.

<Sekhmet> "...Err."
<Ismaru> Ismaru exchanges a confused look with Sekhmet, before nodding rather seriously.

* ten-wang smirks...
* ten-wang runs to collect the sword that was thrown...

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Skull Render begins a sonic attack, it sounds entirely like a human girl-child screaming in abject terror.

How will Ten-Wang overcome such a fearsome opponent?
>* ten-wang runs to collect the sword that was thrown...
Like me when I was a brand new player!
><ten-wang> "i am a... a... buerucrat..."

I cringed.
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> ten-wang: you venture forward into the blinding light of Creation. You see the yellow sun infront of you as you travel forward.

* ten-wang makes it look like he is the leader and pushes to the front of the door, hoping to be seen as the first emerging.
* ten-wang loox for signs of civilization?
* ten-wang loox for tobacco!

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> ten-wang: PerSur to find tobacco
<ten-wang> !e 3
<Roller> ten-wang: 3 [0, 5, 8]
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> You locate enough tobacco for ten uses.

* ten-wang lights some right now...
<ten-wang> to see what it is like...
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (... I'll assume you had found a pipe and a mixing bowl to grind and use said tobacco then)
<ten-wang> [i hope so]

Truly a master of priorities.

Apparently, tobacco is a sign of civilization in Creation.
I wouldn't say this guy is a bad player.

Just someone who plays like an 8 year old.
A cowardly, racist bureaucrat who smokes...

I thought people roleplayed to get away from reality?
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (Day 1); Our heros travel through dense foliage, warm, damp air hydrating their skin. For the first time in their lives, they move under their own power, and make way towards what should be the South-Eastern city of Nathir. Along the way they encounter two other travelers, posed as if arguing, moving as a statue does.
* ten-wang walks up to the statues, and asks what they are arguing about?
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> For a brief moment, sections of the sky, in turn, darken though most return to daylight just as quick. The people being moving and talking again.

<Ismaru> Less straightforward, Ismaru's stance lowers into a crouch and her hair stands up a little, eyes narrowing. "... strangers. How were we supposed to deal with them?" She asks Kubera and Sekhmet with a hushed voice.
<Sekhmet> it only takes a few hours of standing under the suns to change Sekhmet's complexion. Pale, sunless skin was slowly darkening to a tan even under just a little bit of the light of the sun. "...Uhh, not let Ten die, I think. And hopefully peacefully." Sekhmet whispers back to Ismaru. "If they attack though, we will defend ourselves."

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 1> "-it's suicide, that's what it is. Do you know how many people have returned from scouting? NONE!"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 2> "Come on, a little trust in our leader?"
* ten-wang walks up to them and says they must trust in their leader!

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 1> "Any moment now, we're going to get ambush-" he suddenly spots Wang, "who the blazes are you!?"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> The other moves as if to grab a weapon.
<ten-wang> "i am wang, scout extrodinaire. i want to help you, but first you must help me!"
* ten-wang lifts his cloak to show he has no weapons.
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The following conversation has been condensed for the sake of brevity.

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 1> "... and you think I'm going to trust you more than some crazed mad man that I actually know I mean there's nothing I could gain... actually, sure fuck it. What did you want Wang?"
<ten-wang> "i have been from the way you talk about, and we fought some bears! me and my friends, but they are shy. i think you should turn back now, as the bears were still there when we came from that way..."
<ten-wang> "and take us with you, to your leader, please... and, do any of you have a grinder and pipe?"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 2> "So... you're saying there's meat that way? Non-human meat? Well then! Let's get hunting."
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 1> "Well, you can just keep on this path, it's a little overgrown, but I'm going to help get some food for Nathir. We can't farm, because the farmers keep getting stuck. So we've kind of started eating the cats, dogs, pidgeons, crows and the like."
* ten-wang gives person two a friendly smack on the bum, and says that bears are yucky tasting.

"Ten-Wang" is the type of person to give other men friendly smacks on the ass.

<ten-wang> "why not fruit?"
<ten-wang> "in this very forest there must be fruit?"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 2> "Because we need farmers for those?"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 1> "Stuck, stuck. It's like looking at a statue, except you'll get stuck if you wander close to 'em."
<ten-wang> "oh, scarecrows?"

<Sekhmet> "...Err." She seems confused and looks at Ismaru. "What do they mean?"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 2> "No... like people. Who can't move."
<ten-wang> "just a little something i saw on an expose..."
<Sekhmet> "What...causes it?"
<ten-wang> "i will let you take me to your leader, if, you can organise me a pipe."

"I will LET YOU take me to your leader, if you do me this favor."
That is some absurd ass minmaxing.

Tell him, there are 25 other abilities and whether he wants to or not he will put them and their scores on the sheet, even if they're all 1s. And make sure those fives are all legit. Because I swear, it is categorically impossible to get that many 5s with 140XP, even if you take build points into account.

Also. Tell him about Excellencies and Specialties.
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 1> "Well Dan Jade says that Yu-Shan's doing some emergency maintenance on the Loom right now."
<Sekhmet> "Ooh. Okay"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 2> "For a fucking year."
<ten-wang> "ooooooh."
<ten-wang> "okay, i will let you take me to the loom..."

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> They walk along the path with you, you suspect it would be difficult to accidentally stray from it.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (Day 1); you arrive at Nathir.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> <person 1> "Well I'm going to continue scouting." <person 2> "I'm not." Turning to you, "I'll take you to Dan."
<ten-wang> [well, they said they wanted to eat a bear, so they must be stupid.]

Yes, because saying that you are so hungry you want to eat a bear makes you stupid.

<Ismaru> (For ref: "Nathir is a large city-state of the Hundred Kingdoms located far upriver from Great Forks. It's central location in the Eastern Hundred Kingdoms makes it an ideal trade city, and it has grown into a local power in the Hundred Kingdoms, and an important trade town for the Guild.")
<ten-wang> "do i get my pipe now?"

How does "Ten-Wang" begin an investigation to find someone? Start a scene!

* ten-wang shouts "the goblins stole my key!" and starts a scene.
* ten-wang walks about the people he got the attention of, and tells them about it - the bravery!
* ten-wang says "there were thirty of them, they outnumbered him, like one hundred to one. but i got them to all die, except one, that said his name was dan jade!"
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (Why are you claiming Dan Jade is a goblin?)
<ten-wang> [so they will give me his key to the tower.]
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> (I never said it was locked.)
* ten-wang walks in.

And that is all for today. The GM does not seem to be anything remotely resembling a That Guy. It is just that... they operate on some rather humorous logic at times.
You have got to talk this maniac into playing a goddamned Twilight. This shit is Solid Gold.
Solid. Fucking. Gold.

>Looking at this character's backstory, the GM clearly does not know a single shred of the setting,
Dynasts like this Wang character are a dime a dozen in the Realm. Though he's more likely to be sent off to the Wyld Hunt or Red Piss Legion than just plain thrown out of his home.
Those last four lines... Hilarious.

Why no more today? Not much seemed to happen.
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I was a bit disappointed by the lack of action myself.

I suspect it was due to the game being held up by... a number of factors, to say the least.

Hopefully, we should get more antics from "Ten-Wang" now that he is in an actual city. Did you see that brilliant plan to investigate someone's whereabouts?
It wasn't very original. I mean, claiming someone's a goblin to get people to let you into the target's house is the oldest trick in the book.

Was he this... interesting as a DM? What were NPCs like? Because if they were anything like Ten-Wang, your game had issues long before the anti-magic stone.
These are mostly Wang-relevant parts that are posted. Sekhmet and me (Ismaru) did most of the stuff, including PC-to-PC dialogue and such. Also, I grappled a 550 lbs grizzly bear naked and then hurled it 12 yards into a pool of lava in the next room. Good times.
>* ten-wang gives person two a friendly smack on the bum

Is Ten-Wang gay?
>What were NPCs like? Because if they were anything like Ten-Wang, your game had issues long before the anti-magic stone.

Check the last thread on the finance thing.
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<ten-wang> so you want me to butcher your story/game/world?
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Hmm?
<ten-wang> you said my goal is debautchery.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Ah. See, you might be missing some context here.

How old is this guy, 7?
Oh yes. But that was just one time. I'd expect all his NPCs to do weird stuff, not just for it to happen once when the players initiated it.

His first language may be Dutch, not English.
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<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Alright. So ends the first installment wierdness.
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> How'd everyone like it?
<Sekhmet> I'm excited to see where it goes

<ten-wang> it was cool.
<ten-wang> once we got out of the 'prison.'
<Sekhmet> Also I got to wrestle a bear while naked and that's one of those things you just don't do that often.
<Ismaru> Yeah, some good hooks. Obviously this was a bit of a tutorial session, but there are definitely good seeds here.
<Ismaru> Also, yeah. Grappling with a bear and hurling it into lava.

<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> :0
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> :)*
<Actual_GM_of_the_Exalted_Game> Glad people enjoyed it

<ten-wang> one of my girlfriends played vampire larp last night.
<ten-wang> in a bar.
<ten-wang> she is new to it though,
<ten-wang> likes to kill people!

I thought that they... had a wife, judging from their messages in the first thread?

Also, "one of my girlfriends"? Really?
>I thought that they... had a wife, judging from their messages in the first thread?
>Also, "one of my girlfriends"? Really?
Obviously, the player is a girl. She has a wife, so we know she's a lesbian, and her "girlfriends" are simply female friends, nothing sexual about it.
Someone needs to draw crazy lesbian mad scientist saltwater GM
>Brett Nortje
>You have got to talk this maniac into playing a goddamned Twilight. This shit is Solid Gold.

Why a Twilight?
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>I would like to get some artists together to draw some of the races and monsters. I would really like some help here, and comments are sought.
>http://pantera.yolasite.com [dead link]
>This game is much more vast than anything you have ever heard of before. I trimmed down on the settin, introduced a guide, have a game master guide and monster manual, and basically I think, in all honesty, it is breathtaking.
>I hope nobody bursts my bubble, but while I don;t want to take anything away from it, adding is a good idea.
>I have a license and will publish if it gets off the ground

>Brett Nortje
>But there are about a hunndred classes with unique abilities, like emitting smells, advanced emotional control through most arts, advnced social skills, and the combat system that takes five minutes to set up and plays smoother than the d20 system for it's realism...

>I did check out the download you pointed to, and it seems that a good 80% to 90% of your playable races are anthropomorphic animals. I'm sorry, I don't want to be mean, but anyone can pick up an animal encyclopedia and copy out the contents page.

>Brett Nortje
>Think of it this way, if you say some elves ran away from home to join the back street boys and learned to paint faces at strip shows, well then you just create noise. The input is minimal into the engine so that there is less noise - engineering terminology!
>Now when you diminsh noisy input you will maximise fluency, yes? If you were to throw out a lot of slimmed down abilities with groupings they could mould them the way they see fit. Then they are all able to adventure in vampire worlds, due to the system, and dungeons and dragons systems, due to the health and dice rolling. It is a hybrid... hello!
>Let's face it, none of these chikas loox betta than me!
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Be warned; this person is the "great teacher of Aquarius." He "got lots of sex, drugs, and scat."

>Brett Nortje
>Ok seriously do you know who you talking to? Huh bub? I am the great teacher of Aquarius and I will let my dogs loose on you! Yeah man!
>I got lots of sex, drugs and scat and all sorts of pathetic little abilities than you can wrap a network cable for man united televsion for, yeah! Yes yes yes! PLay my game! Read it now! No more of this negativity, you wet blanket!
>Is my tutorial at least good stuff? Hubba hubba? Read the game master section too please, I need feedback, they threw me out of the other site, bumma bro!
>Ok well if you want a easier game to learn check out little land! Yeah!
>This is my dream! Don't be rude!

This GM seems to be going ballistic upon receiving criticism here.

>Brett Nortje
>Yikes! you mean people can actually have this for real in real life! Gee wiz... puke!
>But on a more macho note, yeah man F*** man, welcome to the jungle!

This GM recommends reading their PDFs for "education." They ran the White House for a year, despite living in South Africa!

>Brett Nortje
>Oh yeah? I been making this game for over a decade! It is full of surprises, as there are about fourty skills and three hundred individual abilities. I am running out of reality to wrap around it. May I ask how long you been working on yours? I would like to compare, but seriously no game is as good as mine, as if you combine all the rules, well, you got more mechanics, and you can ignore any rule you want. It is shadow run, vampire and dnd combined.
>And if you want you could expand your knowledges of real life things by reading the education works and deuce works - educational. I really ran the white house for about a year, but couldn;t get Hillary the chair. Damn oratory prowess!

"Little self control."

>Brett Nortje
>I have little self control you know! Would you like to know more about me? Seriously brush those teeth before you... yeah!
>Sex, drugs and scat!
>Yeah man!
>You wet blanket!
Why does he keep on misspelling "looks" as "loox"?
Scat like, shoopy doo wop, or scat like... scat?
I assume he doesn't know what the word means. I hope, at least.
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>Brett Nortje
>The purpose of this game is to try to trick the game master into you getting your way. the rules are simple - seeing as how charisma, intelligence and wisdom are all owned by the player and not the character, really, we need not be considering these things.

Would... would anyone be interested in trying out this game under the GM?

Everyone would simply propose ideas from the Nortjenomicon, verbatim, and get the GM to swoon over them.

In fact, this happened in the start of the last thread, with the cashless credit system! http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/25936580
>http://pantera.yolasite.com [dead link]

That which is not dead may eternal lie
and with strange aeons even death may die.

And the dl links are broken.
Lol useless post.
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Oh, the RPGs mentioned there are simply the two RPGs linked back in the first thread:



>Fundamental basics

>Nakedness is where you have shown yours and they have not shown theirs.

>Hygeine - When a characer has a hygiene that is low they will bond more with peopl that have a similar hygiene desire. If they look dirty then others that are dirty will like them more, and so forth. This is another adjustable statistic where they may choose thier status due to hygiene. Typically most people do not have a high hygiene, so if you want to fit in you should be dirty too, but, it is desired to keep yourself clean as you will look more beautiful in a pretty way, as if you were a model or so, or, someone appealing to someone else due to primal instinctive health recognition. Many peoples have a desire for someoen that fits into thier culture, so natives from the jungle will look for someone fat and dirty as someone that fits in, and people that live on the river banks will like someone clean and tanned, reminding them of what is 'proper'.

This GM is from South Africa, by the way.

>natives from the jungle will look for someone fat and dirty as someone that fits in

Totally not a racist or anything.

>sexcapade by Brett Nortje
>The energy is not bound by our bodies, as our bodies are not restricting electicity for example - it passes right through us doesn't it? So it must be information that carries to a point in our everpresence - it is everpresent while we are not. So when you think your thought to your recipient you are making an everpresent angle for them to recieve it - a straight line. When you embrace more than one person you make a rapport with more then one source, which is also possible.

What the fuck is an everpresent angle?

For "Pantera" supposedly.
>Totally not a racist or anything.
Not his fault the Brits are fat dirty jungle dwellers who aren't smart enough to migrate to the rivers like the coloured negroes and the Afrikaans.
A straight line. Did you even read man?
Fans is what I need. Life is all about fans. If you look around you, what do you see? You see other people's influence on you, that is what! Now, if they weren't there, what would you do? I bet you would be very lonely indeed.

Anyway, my plan is to get more fans. There is this gossip going around what this Valentine guy is doing, and I don't like it. Seems creepy to me, if I don;t say so... yeah!


I will have to outshine him, that's what I will do!

I have a wall breaking session planned, that will show 'em!

What is wall breaking? Well, it is where you expose yourself and play along to the beat for women. That will get me some fan mails... heck yes!

So, I guess I need to infltrate the brothels and opium dens of Cape Town for this to work. What I need is to disguise myslef as a hooker or something, wonder how they will take it? They out of their depth here, you know what I mean???

But before someone calls me on 0789752216 to deal with this sad affair, I will reveal my sites to you.
>So, I guess I need to infltrate the brothels and opium dens of Cape Town for this to work. What I need is to disguise myslef as a hooker or something, wonder how they will take it?

I'm going to need two guns for this one.
Is there a Brett Nortje 1d4chan page yet?
Saying that you are going to disguise yourself as a hooker to infiltrate brothels and opium dens, and then giving out your phone number.

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How do you cure cholera? Eat lots of baked beans, chilli, and laxative! Or... perhaps, salt, the ultimate purifier.

>The ideas put forth in this post are my own and not those of the forum. I have no medical training.

No kidding.

>The best way to treat cholera is to eat baked beans - lots of them - and take laxatives. this will flush out your system. Then the infection will be so small it will basically struggle to survive.

>Or, if you were to eat a lot of chilli, it would act as a laxative. I did that once, where I defecated all day long, but it was sore. it completely emptied out my 'small intestine.'

>Maybe if you were to eat a lot of salt, my old favourite, then it would absorb most of the disease and then you poop it out?

The cure for influenza? Water. (Preferably salt water, the "waters of most high," I assume.)

>The views expressed here in this thread are my own and not those of the forum. I have had no medical training, and will try to cure your disease with simple remedies...

>If you were to observe the symptoms of the flu, you would think they are very bad, yes? How do we stop it? if we were to take flu medication, it is too slow and clumsy to cure it properly. so...

>If the flu has got you down, you should try to clean your blood of this tourist disease and cells. this can be done with drinking a lot of water. if you were to drink a lot of water, it would replace blood cells quickly, so, to make it even more effective, you should go give blood. this means you will see the blood that is infected out, and welcome new clean blood.
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How do you cure the plague? Catch a cold, or eat only plague cells!

>The views expressed by myself are my own, and I have no medical training.

>Plague is a disease that makes like terrible swollen parts in your body as it spreads. the best way to treat plague is to catch a cold. this will attack and devour the plague as it tears through the system, making respiration harder. the less air you get the less healthy you are, and the less your blood supplies oxygen to the cells affected.

>But, that is only one way. another would be to train a disease to only eat plague cells, as then you would stick a malicious preventable disease with the plague, and make sure the disease eats the plague. this will evolve the disease until all it eats is plague.

How do you cure sleeping sickness? Eat lots of cereal, or drink a lot of acids!

>Sleeping sickness.
>The best way to kill this parasite is to eat a lot of cereal, as that will clean out your system. that is what is believed in alcohol hangover right way making at least. This cereal is good for you too, and then it will clean you the same way salt cleans you.

>Of course another way to get rid of a parasitic disease would be to drink a lot of acids, as that will burn away the parasites, as we must remember they are not natives to the blood. These acids enter the blood through osmosis, then will energise you and 'burn' the parasites. The parasites do not eat acids, so, they are just surrounded by it! Not native to their system either.
Archive this as soon as you can. We need to document this so future fa/tg/uys can see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
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How do you get rid of tumors? Drain blood from the tumor using a syringe, then inject salt in! Salt and water cure everything!

>Getting rid of tumors.

>Tumors are growths on your body, usually on vital organs, and result in terrible pain at least. you can even get tumors in your brain. the tumors are usually growths of some sort on your organs.

>now lets say you cannot afford surgery, what do you do? if you were to grab a syringe, and stick it in and drain your tumor, then you could get rid of it to the rate of ninety percent or so. if you go overboard and drain too much blood, then you will still live.

>if you drain the tumor, it will collapse while it waits for more blood to arrive. if the blood does arrive, it will flare up again, so you want to keep this tumor starved from oxygen and 'food. Next you want to inject the tumor with salt, as that will suck all the rest of it up, and then you poop it out. this will act as acid on your tumor, and might burn a little, but will kill off the rest.

>Alternatively, you could get stomach acids and inject it with that.

How do you cure heart disease? Drink lots of water! Salt and water really are the universal panacea!

>Fighting heart disease.

>I am no doctor, and have no medical training, and act alone.

>I find heart disease to be when the vessels cannot cope with the blood flow into or out of the heart. If you were to have thinner blood, then you would have a better chance of living for a long time. Getting the blood thinner will allow more to get in, and, then hopefully buy you some time so see if the muscles recover and expand again.

>I suggest drinking lots of water, as, it will see you thinning your blood, and having more blood too. Having more blood that is thin will help in forcing the vessels to expand, as they are being flooded with more thin blood that can get inside the vessel and slowly force it open.
>I am no doctor
>I have no medical training
>You should totally believe my uneducated self regarding self medicating to ward off deadly ailments
I think this man may have been cursed. He clearly is utterly incapable of admitting to ignorance, yet he knows so very little. He must have angered a witch doctor as a child with his casual racism and has been laboring under a terrible geas ever since.
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How do you treat an inflammation of the lungs? Inject yourself with lemon juice or salt!


>Sarciodosis is an inflamtion in the lungs and leads to brething problems.

>If you want to relax your lungs, you should inject adrenaline into yourself, this will subside the effects while you seek further treatment, as the body will have sped up enough to breathe with the disease present.

>Then you would want to heat the lungs up, as that is a sign of coexistence in the body. Think of when you are sick, you will heat up as your body tries to fight the disease? Same here, so, when you exercise your body heats up trying to pump the blood through it. This will pump blood through your lungs, probably.

>Now, to get rid of the disease, you have access to it in a deflamed condition while under these conditions. If you were to consume a lot of acids into your lungs - inject them in - they would work as a lemon does to a corn, another home remedy, sucking the disease out of the lungs and into the lemon, then out through the uria tract.

>If you were to not have a lemon handy, or some other acids, then you might want to use a lot of salt, as I have previously prescribed. If you were to use these acids or salts, they would suck the disease up into the blood stream and then eject it when you excrete stuffies.

>This will improve your condition, and there is nothing wrong with injecting yourself with lemon juice once a week. All holes to your lungs will be healed quickly, probably not even causing you a moments hardship for a few seconds. If you were to want to get rid of the inflamtion completely, try shock treating your system with lemon juice, which is healthy in itself anyways.

Bonus round: cure for cholesterol!

>Oh yes, that reminds me of another idea i had a while ago. For cholesterol, you would inject stomach acids into the blood, and that would eat all the 'junk' in clogged arteries around the body.
Who are you and why the fuck should we care?
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>>Oh yes, that reminds me of another idea i had a while ago. For cholesterol, you would inject stomach acids into the blood, and that would eat all the 'junk' in clogged arteries around the body.
This is so crazy it has got to work.
Not yet. But if anyone wants to make one, go ahead.
Salt increase the fluid levels in the lungs and causes the tissues to swell, and injecting citric acid will cause intense infections. The adrenaline was good though.

Murderous idiot.
Not murderous- just an idiot.
Suptg doesn't seem to be archiving this for some reason. Anyone else want to try?



Somewhere here.
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How do you control someone's mind? Just picture yourself and the target in your mind and then hypnotize them! Not a tautology at all! Follow the Zoolander film!

>Esp hynosis.

>To take control of someone you need to picture yourself and them in your mind and then hypnotise them from your mind. You should use all the hypnotic things you can, including music, shackels, and you know how they do it in zoo lander? Like that, just imagine it, then concentrate on it when you want to give your subject oders. Ask them all the time what is going on to make sure that you can respond.

>Or, maybe you should picture them with subliminal messaging? You could feed them images of money in exchangefor doing what you want them to, and then they will think they will get money, or something else they really want.

>Better yet imaginoe the whole planet and then tell them what to do, with of course some concentration involved, and all the hypnosis things you can imagine!

>Or, maybe you should picture he world listening to some hypnotic music and as music can make people aggressive or self conscious or stiff, imagine the music, experimenting with all sorts of music, alter moods, and eventually the whole though process and of course relevant actions.

>I am familiar with being able to get people to confess memories in esp, so why not being able to implant them? Try picturing the person and hypnotising them and then giving them memories to remember, maybe that will work...

>How about the person tries to imagine a scale? They can put the subject or subjects on one side and try to hypnotise them to thier will, and any other friends of thier on thier side of the scale?

>If you can read minds and make spells work in esp, then how about making money for yourself? You could hack the bank in esp and increaase your monetary funds, maybe?

>If you can generate real sounds through esp, then you should also be able to push buttons on the banks exchange thingy.
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>am familiar with being able to get people to confess memories in esp
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Relieving fatigue? Just cough your exhaustion away!

>Chronic fatigue syndrome.
>Another way to relieve fatigue is to cough a lot. If they were to make themselves cough, they would cough away the fatigue.

How to attract more supernatural energy to yourself? Submerge yourself in water, or be along the sealine... to get salt water!

>Pseudo science and magical stuffies!

>I find that energy will attract the right things to the task you want to accomplish, and all energy is electrical. This means to summon more energy to you you should be submerged in water, or along the sealine. It is a safe guess that being on the shore of the beach will attract more electrical connenergy for you to use.

>Now, to get the desired result, you need to find the communication between your conscious and subconscious, as if you can relate your consciious to your subconscious you may communiacate at levels of subcosncious so that the language will be fluent.

>How do you get something from your conscious into your subconscious? Well, you would need to have it as a base urge, so things like flying would come naturally, as you see birds flying, yes? This will depend on your imagination and desire to have this thing part of you! When you see birds simply watch them - your subconscious should do the rest. Of course more you understand the magic in question the more easily it will come. If you watch the birds and imagine yourself turning into a bird then your subconscious should like this and it will be presented at base emotive level, which the universe around you will understand... hopefully.

>I don't know how you will turn back into a person though, so maybe thinking of yourself flying - especially over the water - is a safer bet if you ask me.
Anyone at all?
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The GM opines on necromancy! Apparently, it requires water and nuclear reactors.


>To bring someone back to life we need to harness the electrical energy left by them back into their bodies. The bodies thugh may not be able to carry on transmitting electrical energy, so we need to find a body that can. Due to disease it may be unable to carry the impulses also. A body that has died is said to have seen white lights, and by electrical means we could bring them back into their bodies if the energy hasn;t seperated too much.

>To save lives the body should be submerged in water for and carry non condcutor material - then we could keep the soul in a space and fix the body, then insert the soul back into the body, as the soul is also electrical, basically.

>We could also set up a electrical attraction device that reaches out to find the souls of the deceased. I am sure everyone would like to reanimate Jesus for example, or Einstein...

>To do this they need to set up a flux of energy, attracing all souls to it. The more powerful the electrical magnet the more souls we could capture, then analyse. If it was evident in life that they had electrical impulses, and these impulses went through their brains forming their personality, then we could reanimate the bodies with our choice of 'soul', or energy.
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>The easiest way to do this would be with a nuclear reactor set to attract similar energies as the ones we want, like Jesus and so forth. The low energy required for attracting something this sparse means that we do not require the whole reactor to chrage it. Maybe setting up the electro magnet to attract a certain frequency of electrical energy would do it? Identifying which one we need to attract would mean that we tap into the electrical energy and analyse it, I am sure we could find Jesus therein. We could identify them by measuring their level of peacefulness, or placid state. The more at peace the soul is the more likely it is to be Jesus, in fact the one most at peace should be investigated for and analysed.

>We could tell what the soul is thinking or who it is by analysing it on the scale of 'brain workings', or we could use similar science to gather the information of what is going on inside the specific frequency of the soul, be it constructive thoughts or destructive ones, be it creative, loving, stressful... things like that.

>Once we have found the right frequency, and tested for the most likely frequency for Jesus, then we can simply collect it through the electromagnet and use a 'fixed' body to attract it to, then perform shock treatment on it. I am sure Jesus will be thrilled, and, how else is He supposed to come back?
>Once we have found the right frequency, and tested for the most likely frequency for Jesus, then we can simply collect it through the electromagnet and use a 'fixed' body to attract it to, then perform shock treatment on it. I am sure Jesus will be thrilled, and, how else is He supposed to come back?
Not just necromancy, this guy/thing wants to revive Jesus
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Electrical energy from our minds and bodies creates all the natural phenomena of the world. All meteorology and natural geography has been debunked.

>Ok, what I was recently on about was why the air planes were all going down, so by fluke I found a site about dream mechanics. Then it dawned on me that our lives, due to determinism, are all dreams of the creators! Then I though about why the planes were falling, and it came to me that it was all like a dream, look up plane and you will see the modus for the 'message' from the gods.

>Then I tried to explain it scientifically, and it came to me that it must be electircal energy from our bodies and minds creating all the events of the world that we actually have no control over, like planes crashing and earthquakes, right down tointerference from televisions, all coming from excess electrical input from our negative electrical output, and positive in some cases, as energy is never destrroyed but it is created.

>This energy then goes on to interfere with the world, from rain to tornadoes to earthquakes.

>We create the energy but imagine if we could create the right sort of energy by concentrating, we could make more rain. This is similar to a rain dance, but if enough people do it then we will affect the rain we recieve. Places with droughts would prosper no doubt! With rain, for example, we create energy that attracts water vapour as water is a good conductor of electricity, so is attracted to it, so where our energy collects we could make rain, theoretically at least.

>There are some factors though that are beyond our control, like the sun's heat. That energy influences our own energy here on earth, as the sun is very powerful it must be said. Then there is the pull of the moon affecting our tides, also beyond our control, but, we could control the moon I reckon, with the right sort of energy, maybe even the sun, but that would take a lot of enrgy as the sun is very big.
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>A lot of rain is wasted by falling out at sea. If we could make it fall inland we would be much better off, especially some dry areas. We could do this by having a lot of people form a circle so that the enrgy doesn;t escape but rather will rise and effect the air so it rains, but then we need water vapour. You see water vapour causes rain at sea because it is the meeting point for all the energy that is released, between continents where animals and people live. This water is wasted, so we need to bring it inland.

>Maybe if we got a lot of people to, again, form a circle, and think thoughts of positivity like a rain dance, it would work? When skeptics emit negative energy towards the rain idea then it wouldn't work because of their negative energy, so, positive energy must be the key. Maybe lovers would bring rain thought thier positive thoughts? We could re nutrition the deserts and all that, keeping the rain in a circular motion so that it doesn't go to waste, or something.

Emotions can create rain!

>More on rain dances.
>A rain dance is full of pleading, and pleading is a positive emotion releasing positive energy. It is societal to implore another, so it gives off good energy. They don't need the paraphanailia that they wear, they only need the energy to attract water vapour, or condensed air, cooling air. When they dance they exert more energy though, so it is more likely to cool the air, as positivity is linked to cool conditions.

>Think when you are very happy, you cool down, when angry you get hot, so you need to keep the energy cool and positive. Demanding rain is not societal, as it is aggressive, so stick to positive emploring, and have hope with you, as emitting negative emotions would stifle the good ones, and the more people that do it the better.
I like how the very first thing he writes is that his ideas are not "wrong", they're progressive and against the status quo.
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How do ouija boards and demons work? Electricity, of course!

It seems that electricity is responsible for everything, and the universal panacea is salt and water.

>How oudjie works...

>As I said in my post on oudjie, it works off of air - the electricity in demons - meeting earth - the glass and wood of the board - and, finding resistance, it moves.

>The spirit world is comprised of things that may divine, so know a lot. They know all these things because they have a map, due to determinsim, as soon as they tell you one thing and know you won't do it, the map changes, but, seeing as how it was always going to tell the person, and the person was always going to 'deny' it, the grand scheme isn't affected, as determinism works in the spirit world aswell.

>Now they have a map, and will let you know, if they want, as they are not bound to you. They tell the truth most of the time, so you will come back of course. They feed off of your energy you see, tha is why you may feel drained at the end of a session.

>If you want to make a board you can take a piece of cardboard, paper, or if you are feeling up to it, wood, but it must be made of earthly stuff. You scrawl a lot of letters and numbers on it, with a yes or no option, you draw a circle in the middle for the glass to be placed in at the beginning of the session, and you include a goodbye option. Then you call up the spirit, asking if it can hear you while pressing down on the glass with your fingers. Jiggle the glass around if you are having problems, to get the glass 'warmed up'.

>Now it works by you force applied to it. It is stress related, feeding off of your energy and the stress applied to it by your fingers, and the spirit will then use the force that isn't going anywhere, the potential energy applied to it by your fingers that go into the board or paper, and it redirects it via electrical displacement, as lightning can make a gash can't it? Same logic.
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>Then the spirit can redircet the force into the right direction to spell out words or numbers, as, being ever present, is all over the place at once, as all spirits are everpresent. Then it will use electrical force displacement against the electrically resistant glass to move it, by displacing it. Then it will answer you.

>The spirits can move the electricity because they are made of electricity, so in fact they physically move the glass, so they fluctuate their presence in the everpresent. That is done by your own energy applied to it, but it won't take much. That is why you will see a glass move even when you apply less pressure after you apply pressure first.

>Maybe it will work with a heavy object placed on top of the glass, or, a glass of water or something? But the enrgy needed would have to be energy from a living thing, as that carries electrical force too.

Is this GM actually an Electric/Water-type pokémon?
I just want to say that's a damn cool picture
I don't really even like 2hu.
>am familiar with being able to get people to confess memories in esp

What if he's reading our minds THIS VERY MOMENT?
He's probably dead.

He didn't get to tell anyone that the cure for being out of breath is to inject air directly into your bloodstream.

Blood carries oxygen right?
Well, just put it straight in there.
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Behold, a master plan for making more money by buying and reselling things the Nortjeian way!

>Consumer spending
>It is common for people to spend more than they have, but how can people bust the debts they have? Either they pay for all of it - preferred - or they would need to spend less, which I am sure they will argue that they cannot do, so let's go with plan [a] then?

>If you were to spend money on things, it is gone, poof, dissapeared out of your account. How do you make more money? Well listen up, because if the bank can make money out of nothing so can you.

>It is not harmful to have too much money, as that would lead to inflation, which only sounds bad. All you gotta do every so often is cut a zero or two off your currency, so inflation isn;t bad at all!

Inflation only *sounds* bad, because you can just cut a zero or two off the currency!

>Now, for you to make more money with the money you have, simply start selling your assets or whatever you bought to someone else for less than it is worth, then buy it back from them for less than you paid. This may sound silly, but please give me a minute or two...

>If you sell something for less than it is worth to someone else, then they have made a profit. If you buy it back for less than you paid for it, you made a profit. The problem comes in where the second person makes less profit, but they pay for it at a bargain and then lose some money where they sell it, but, they have paid less for it, and gotten less for it.

>This is compensated when they buy something from you aswell through the same system. This way you both make a profit. Please listen some more...

>Now that you both have effectively paid less for something, you both have money left over. So say you and your neighbour go out to buy a cnew car each, you both sell it to each other for less than you paid for it, and buy it back for less than you paid for it, making a proift each.

Wait...How does this work? How can you possibly make money this way?
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>Let's get technical!

>So you spend a million rand on a car, and sell it for fivehundred thousand rand, and buy it back for a hundred thousand rand. That means you have the car and nine hundred thousand rand left over. The other person does the same, and also ends up with a profit and the car.

No... no. No! NO! How does... but that is not how anything works... aaaaah...

>This can be expressed as [a] minus [b] plus [b] plus [c], basically. Cost minus asset, plus asset plus profit. If you double this, it is 2[a] minus 2[b] plus 2[b] plus 2[c], whic works out to be the first equation again.

>Still don;t beleieve me? You spend your money at the dealer, then you sell your product for less than it is worth, then you buy it back for less than you sold it for.

>Let's get even more technical...

>If you spend a million rand on a car, and so does your pal, then you both lose a million rand, ok? Now if you both sell your car to each other for less than you spent on it, you both lose said amount of money but gain the same asset, so, you have effectively spent one and a half million rand on a million rand product.

>Ok so far it is a bad idea, but, if you both spend just a hundred thousand rand on the same cars again, you have made a profit of one and a million and six hundred thousand rand, minus nine hundred thousand rand! That works out to seven hundred thousand rand you have made along with getting the car! You may repeat the process to make even more money, of course

Why do you do this to me, GM? This makes no sense at all! How do you make money appear from thin air like this?

>The economy doesn;t suffer and you can finance anything you want, all you need is capital that comes in your salary each month.

Has anyone else tried archiving this thread?
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>So you spend a million rand on a car, and sell it for fivehundred thousand rand, and buy it back for a hundred thousand rand. That means you have the car and nine hundred thousand rand left over. The other person does the same, and also ends up with a profit and the car.
Don't knock it until you try it.

I'll try it tomorrow. Just you watch... I'll be rich in no time.
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I had replied to the frist thread, when it still was about the antimagic zone, and left shortly after. I read these 3 thread in the last hour.
This guy is either:
a) malkavian vampire
b) an avatar of the unseen armies
c) a true Fae
d) the King in Yellow
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>How do you make more money? Well listen up, because if the bank can make money out of nothing so can you.

I think they just call it counterfeiting when ordinary people do it.

>buy object
>sell it for less than you paid for it

I mean, there's being bad at finance and then there's getting "Buy low, sell high" backwards. That's like assuming gravity pushes you up.
You didn't get the memo? According to our wise sage, gravity does not actually exist.
I did, but it didn't seem to work. Can't say why, though.
>That which is not dead may
That is not dead which can.
Yours doesn't even scan.
>According to our wise sage, gravity does not actually exist.

Wait what?
It's just cold air in the atmosphere pushing objects down, you silly goose.

Gravity doesn't exist.
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According to the Nortjenomicon, gravity does not exist. Cold air simply pushes objects down. Then the GM immediately contradicts themselves by implying that gravity does indeed exist.


>The graviton
>I suspect that there is no graviton, and insead of things being made to submit to gravity, it is in fact the cold air ontop of the object that pulls it down. So, I do not believe in a graviton, but rather the cold air bringing the object down, as cold air is attracted to the earth's surface.

>But what causes this to happen? If cold air is attracted to the earth, as in space near planets there is also gravity, then what causes the cold air to become attracted to the body of matter?

>I suspect that this is caused by the mass of the air itself. When mass is given to air it is in the form of water vapour.

>Why doesn't it rain on the moon? Well there is not enough gravity there I would suppose, or, not enough gravity caused by an ozone layer, as that amount of 'water vapour' keeps everything falling a lot harder.
It's all person electricity man.
How does this guy breathe?
Using electricity to force the dirty used air out of his lungs which sinks away because of its impurities to be replaced with good clean salty air.
You can't deny the existence of gravity and then cite mass getting attached to other mass as the driving force behind holding down objects on Earth. God dammit that's GRAVITY.

>Why doesn't it rain on the moon? Well there is not enough gravity there I would suppose, or, not enough gravity caused by an ozone layer, as that amount of 'water vapour' keeps everything falling a lot harder.

And then you pretend gravity exists to explain why there's no atmosphere on the moon, when you COULD have explained that same thing without a SINGLE mention of gravity. Does this guy think that the vacuum of space doesn't exist? Does he think dark matter is a higher state of salt water that permeates the fabric of space?

I need some hard liquor. Scotch, maybe.
>This gallery is pining for the fjords.
>If you spend a million rand on a car, and so does your pal, then you both lose a million rand, ok? Now if you both sell your car to each other for less than you spent on it, you both lose said amount of money but gain the same asset, so, you have effectively spent one and a half million rand on a million rand product.

>Ok so far it is a bad idea, but, if you both spend just a hundred thousand rand on the same cars again, you have made a profit of one and a million and six hundred thousand rand, minus nine hundred thousand rand! That works out to seven hundred thousand rand you have made along with getting the car! You may repeat the process to make even more money, of course

How the hell does ANYONE arrive at this?
A terrible sense of math.
The first requester for sauce here. Thanks man!
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Wh- H-
Shhhh, little Touhou.

Take the GM away with you to Gensokyo.
>To eliminate assaults people should be brain wahsed by the televisoin and radios with subliminal messages of a horde of Christians and dogs chasing them down if they hit another person, except in a rin gof course where the evil 'demigogue' Christians cannot get them.

What's an evil "demigogue"?
Hmmm, so let me see if I understand:
His best and less insane idea is the flamethrower train, unless I missed something.
What if you combined this...

>If the state was to armour their vehicles in layes of light weight bullet proof glass they could just run the enemy down as the militants don't have access to that, or, if they did, there would be a stalemate and then they would slow down. Even if you fire a rocket at such a vehicle it would only dent the glass, so that is an aggressive approach.

With this?

>A train has a snow seperator at it's front that seperates the snow as the train passes through. Now if they were to place a flame thrower at the front of the train, powered by the engine of course, then it would be quick quick through that snow.
>A flame thrower could be pulled out of any workshop and souped up so the flame extends a great distance in front of the train, not damaging the upcoming track, but rather destroying the snow in front of the train for a short distance.

Then you'd have war vehicles made out of indestructible, bulletproof, explosionproof glass that can run down militants while incinerating them with flamethrowers!

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>>This thread
Assuming he means demagogue it is someone who attains power or popularity through prejudice rather than more reasonable grounds for support.
He may be mixing it up with/combining it with a Demiurge which is a figure in several religious schools of though who was the shaper of the universe. Especially a part of Gnosticism where the Demiurge is the Judeo-Christian God who is an evil tyrant figure and an inferior emanation of the true God figure who is kinda just spiritual unity.
>All you gotta do every so often is cut a zero or two off your currency, so inflation isn;t bad at all!
He's learned that from fellow African countries like Zimbabwe.
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For the fun of it I've been trying to tease out what logic or what weird thing he must have heard to make him think this, and I may have found it. It's a commonly stated phrase that a sale makes both parties better off because each values what they get more than what they have (a car dealer gets more utility out of money than they do out of the car, you get more utility out of the car than the money.) It's possible he heard this and he just didn't understand that it's the utility of your purchase that makes you better off - if you buy a car you only gain that utility if you keep the car and use it. If you sell the car again you lose that utility because you no longer have the car, you only have the utility of the amount of money you sold it for.

If something in that just didn't register for you, though, if for some reason you think that utility is a storehouse or equivalent to currency or something, you might think "buy something, be better off because of it, sell it so you're still better off due to it and now you've got the money." Like, if you just didn't make one of the critical connections you were supposed to or something, you know?
Or he just assumes that buying a million Rand car for half price is the same as making half a million profit.

Christ, I didn't even consider that. The man's just like a treasure chest of fallacies.
Now, I don't usually go around bumpin' threads from the depths, but this insanity needs to be witnessed by more people.
stopped reading at Wang
I don't see much connection to bureaucracy in the character itself, just bureaucratic skills.

Wow, that's all kinds of loony.
Well next time I run a fantasy game and the engineer or physics guy has their character start making gunpowder or some other "but I knowhow" bullshit have my answer. "No dude that's not how it works, you see you don't understand how the electricity reacts with the saltwater properly."
Bump, no way this shit is gonna 404.
Flicking though his "masterwork" I came across his thoughts on ocenography. Apparently water is not rocks.
Bullshit. Water is rocks like Apples are Tangerines.
And again.
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Apparently, we are scheduled to have a "downtime session" for our 3.5/Pathfinder game in roughly 11 hours.

Assuming it pushes through, I will probably create a new thread and give updates on the current situation involving the GM and their insane campaign world.
Waait a fucking second
>previous games
OP next time you are in game you and your party need to do this. >>25988230 >>25988284 You guys will soon make back that 60,000g you passed up on.
File: 1373895369731.jpg-(84 KB, 575x699, 1353951478256.jpg)
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>party starts buying and selling their equipment back and forth until they all wind up with their original equipment
>GM begins to lose his shit as he believes they are approaching infinite wealth
Link to that thread here if this one's still up then!

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