Thanks to a magically created windstorm, your poison gas, and judicious violence from everyone, you, Tisgut the scout of the Red Wolf tribe, and the orcs of the Rat Tribe were able to repel the orcs of the Hawk Tribe.

You were also able to successfully rescue two human slaves, siblings Terry and Tammy, from the Ice and the Things that dwelled on it.

However, you were faced with a very bad situation. The Hawk's final suicide attack had destroyed most of the structures, tents, and defenses of the Rat's camp. Also, it was all but certain that the Hawk Tribe orcs would soon return for a second raid.

You had to move, but with the destruction, there wasn't enough shelter to safely camp out on the open tundra. There were two friendly tribes in travel range though, the Boar and Red Wolf.

Boar was the biggest tribe, and the safest, but the Rats could only call them 'friendly' as long as they paid tribute to them. Right now, that tribute would almost certainly be children, the shaman Sirala, and they'd expect tribute from you and the Dawnchasers as well. You could fight them, to show that you're above that...but Boars have long memories and keep grudges against those that show no respect to them.

Red Wolf was more openly friendly and willing to trade for a few 'special items' that the Rats had been saving. However, Red Wolf's camp is across the Ice. To reach it now, you would have to cross it. At night. A deed that even gives the mighty Tisgut pause.

You didn't want to have the Rats suffer, give up tribute, or alienate what could hopefully be the army that you'll need to match the Phoenix Empire's. So, you chose to go to the Red Wolf tribe, and brave the Ice in Darkness.

You've made stupider decisions. That's what you keep telling yourself anyway, as you pack up Wagon. Although, right now you're a little hard-pressed to find one that matches this.

File: 1373585381210.jpg-(819 KB, 899x1184, Lake Confession.jpg)

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>>25958878
Also, here's some lovely fan art.

First, this is the scene of Peri giving her confession to Ssen on the Lake. It also gives you a nice idea on how big Wagon is.

File: 1373585395794.jpg-(86 KB, 512x342, 1369838349017.jpg)

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>>25958878

>>25958904
Yeesh. Was that a commission or something?

File: 1373585459798.jpg-(228 KB, 755x879, Lea and girls.jpg)

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>>25958904
And this is Lea and Ssai and Ssah, the two lamia girls you rescued from Coral Gate.

She's probably teaching them a hymnal...or one of Father Uriah's 'Slay the Darkness' songs.

... I think the other stupidest things was that rope bridge.

Or telling a dragon our master was planning on fighting him for part of his horde.

>>25958904
thats beautiful.

>>25958926
and thats cavity worthy sweet.

>>25958878
>worse ideas
Well, there was the time we jumped in front of an assassin arrow.
Aaaand the time we went right into the hall of ghouls with the intent of stabbing the leader right in the mouth.
you know now that I think of it, our history is just one long, escalating chain of traps we've walked into willingly.

>>25958904
>>25958926
Huzzah, fanart

>>25958926
I can't tell which is the older one! Damn you, variable height creatures.

>>25958929
>the rope bridge
Oh god, yeah, that one was retarded. We literally lifted it from a fairy tail.

When are we going to try to slay monsters with that pepperment sword?

Rolled 19

>>25958904
>>25958926

Yay, new fanart. Does this mean we get rerolls?

>>25958904
What's with the 9-point star floating there? His Light is watching you...
Or is it a reflection?

Anyway, the picture looks great. I like Peri's expression.

>>25958942
"Keep fires lit." Tisgut says as he passes out torches. "Keep sight each other. When see Red Wolf fire, go there full speed. Don't stop, any reason, any time. Do not trust sounds, tricks. Do not trust eyes, save fire. Keep fires lit."

"You said that once before." Sirala says.

"Twice important." Tisgut says.

"I really wish you would take better lessons on how to speak the language of the humans, you make us all appear to be debased savages." The Rat Shaman says. "It isn't as if you can't learn to speak simple contractions and prepositions. I did, and I was kept in a traveling freakshow for three years!"

Tisgut shrugs. "Speak well enough. Languages hard. Understand, enough, yes?" He asks you.

>>25959030
I understand well enough yes. I do wish I had time to learn your own language though.

Rolled 6

>>25959048
[x]+1

>>25958926
Doesn't the surgeon's mask get in the way of singing?

>>25958981
The one on the bottom looks shorter and more baby-faced to me.

>>25959025
I know it's not easy to recall, but Mage summoned a light so you and Peri could see each other. It's not the official Paladin's lantern that is hung for confessions, but that was before you were a Paladin.

I like to think that Ssai, the older one, is the one on top and pointing at Lea.

>>25959030
"Mostly. At least I don't need a birdwatcher's guidebook to get your metaphors.
What's the plan if we run into something big? Go around and hoof it?"

>>25959067
>Doesn't the surgeon's mask get in the way of singing?

To someone who hasn't had the practice with it that Lea has? Yeah. To her? Not anymore.

Also, the person who did these requested that they NOT receive re-rolls for their work. So I honor that request.

>>25959070
>It's not the official Paladin's lantern that is hung for confessions
They probably have boring normal flames. Not as good as magic holy symbols of pure light.

>>25959030
"It suits you. Makes you seem more stoic."

Rolled 19

>>25959105
>no-rerolls

Fair enough. Great art to.

"Mostly. At least I don't need a birdwatcher's guidebook to get your metaphors." You say. "Though I do wish I had time to learn your own language though.

"What's the plan if we run into something big? Go around and hoof it?" You ask.

"Go around, if not see Red Wolf, go North, into wind. Will see soon enough. ALWAYS can see Red Wolf." He nods. "If see Red Wolf, go to Red Wolf."

"Compasses work on the Ice?" Peri asks.

Tisgut shakes his head. "Wind ALWAYS blow from North. Put face to wind, look North."

>>25958926
daww on in other news what are people rankings of the Power Older Women Who Lust for Mage (POWWLM?)
Top is Mab and the very bottom is Her Ignorant Self.
Unless Granny has thing for mage too, in which case Granny might get stop slot.

What's the plan? We're all huddling up on the wagon and going top speed?

Our human civilians are going to be in the wagon with us, yeah? We'll have time to talk to them nervously before monsters attack.

>>25959170
say slowest and weakest go on Wagon. We don't want to leave anyone behind and so we increase our collective speed if we put those who would straggle on Wagon.

Not sure how we make this work with the orks "strength good" thing though.

>>25959170
>Our human civilians are going to be in the wagon with us, yeah?

Yes, you'll have Lightmare pulling Wagon which has your travel gear, equipment, a bundle that Sirala gave you for 'safe keeping' (She has asked you not to untie it unless all the Rats are dead.) and the other Dawnchasers.

Tisgut is riding one of the Rat's Tundra Hinds.

The Rats have five wagons. They're each twice the size of Wagon. Four are packed with people, one with things. Sirala is riding in the things, along with another wrapped bundle that she has on her back.

Tammy and Terry look horrified to the point of armed futile mutiny.

"First you throw us back to the orcs that destroyed our home, then you're taking us to MORE orcs, and NOW you expect us to go BACK out THERE? IN THE DARK?!" Terry screeches. "What kind of inhuman, soulless, monster ARE you? Haven't we suffered ENOUGH?!"

Rolled 2

We are terrible at following directions. Everybody warned us not to go on the ice. First night there? We go on the ice.

>>25959161
"Well, that's handy and not incredibly sinister at all. Do we have a plan for that barrel of fire stuff, or are we saving that for in case of emergency?"

Rolled 9

>>25959269

"We won't let any of them have you. I promise on my life."

>>25959269
"Everyone's suffered enough. Right now, though, I think it's our best bet at getting through the night without being rounded up by the hawks. Don't worry though- if something horrid happens out on the ice, I'll make sure it happens to me so you folk can get away. Part of the job."

>>25959269
"You have. It would certainly be convenient everyone got what they deserved, but life doesn't tend to work like that. I don't see any easy routes to safety, do you?"

>>25959269
"I I were inhuman or soulless, I wouldn't have saved you. You aren't being enslaved on my watch and if you wish to complain more, do remember that you have the luxury of being ectothermic."

>>25959269
"I never said things would be easy. I do the best I can, given the circumstances."

oh, after we assure them, I wanted to ask them:

"You mentioned you had friends who sacrificed too much earlier. What happened? Do they need help?"

>>25959269
"There isn't some kind of quota of suffering that gets filled. Sometimes, life just isn't fair. We do what we can, and we keep moving forwards. What choice do we have?"

>>25959396
fucking mammals and their internal heating lording it over us

>>25959449
fucking mammals is a thing we do, yes..

>>25959476
I wonder if it counts as fucking arthropods too.

>>25959476
We do? I thought we fucked insects.

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>>25959030
If we orked up Gregor a little, would we get Tisgut?

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>>25959476
>>25959498
>>25959507
that's enough outta you numbskulls

>>25959507
>>25959498
Yes.
>>25959523
Okay

"You have, everyone's suffered enough. Right now, though, I think it's our best bet at getting through the night without being rounded up by the hawks. Don't worry though- if something horrid happens out on the ice, I'll make sure it happens to me so you folk can get away.
Part of the job."

"You're doing a piss poor job of it!" Terry snaps.

"It would certainly be convenient everyone got what they deserved, but life doesn't tend to work like that." You say.

"No! But it's the Paladin's job to make that it DOES!" Terry snaps. "YOU'RE supposed to MAKE the world fair and HAVE a little justice in it. THAT'S YOUR JOB! And now you tell us to suffer, and suffer, and suffer some more...and HAVE THE NERVE TO TELL US TO LIKE IT! YOU'RE AN INHUMAN MONSTER!"

"If I were inhuman or soulless, I wouldn't have saved you. You aren't being enslaved on my watch and if you wish to complain more, do remember that you have the luxury of being ectothermic."

"What?" Terry asks.

"She freezes worse than we do." Tammy says.

"Well, more the reason for us to get OUT of here!"

"I don't see any easy routes to safety, do you?" You ask.

"We take their horse...deer...whatevers, and GO!" Terry says. "With enough of them we can be back in Citadel Kingdom by Dawn! I know how to steer them, all you have to do is TAKE them!"

"Terry..." Tammy says.

"She's a Paladin...or so she says, we're proper worshipers of His Light. We prayed to Him every night for this moment. You would turn your backs on US just to humor them? We don't need all of them, just two more, along with your nightmare!" He points at you, desperation and fear-fueled mania in his eyes. "You HAVE to help us! It's your CODE!"

"Terry...please." Tammy says. "Please just...just calm down."

"NO!" Terry says. "I WONT CALM DOWN! We're going to DIE if we let this psycho-monster bitch lead us to-"

He continues his rant. You see Lea behind him point at his head and raise an eyebrow at you.

>>25959608
"Sweet dreams Terry. Hope you are more pleasant in the morning."

>>25959608
nod at her. Better he sleeps through this journey.

>>25959608
shake your head. Hold your hand out to him in a "stop" kind of motion.

"Look, we really can't just kill off a whole tribe of folk to take their things. That's exactly what they did to you folk. An eye for an eye isn't how the teachings go."

>>25959608
"My code does not exist to make your life perfect, or even happy. I would if I could, but that's not why I'm a paladin. No, my duty as a paladin is to make sure that you survive. As long as you're alive, life can get better. I'm here to get you to the light at the end of the tunnel."

>Signal to Lea to KO Terry.

>>25959634
>>25959633
hey,
>>25959725
here.

Just pointing out that they're here of their own will, and we can't really force them to stay with us like that without doing the same thing the orcs do.

>>25959749
If he's going to be disruptive he could endanger everyone else. We can't afford one false move on the Ice.

>>25959749
He's being irrational in the rather harmful way instead of our lamia way of irrationality.

>>25959777
well, he might be brought to be calm without KOing him. I hate to do it.
>>25959796
I dunno, the lamia way is also pretty harmful. Ecologically if nothing else.

You nod to Lea.

"Sweet dreams Terry. Hope you are more pleasant in the morning." You say.

"Wha-UFF!" He hits the ground as Lea hit him.

"You know, the quip was probably a little much, and a little mean spirited...or at least could be taken as such." Lea says as she wags her finger at you, as she gently picks up Terry and puts him in Wagon. "A Paladin is supposed to be of comfort."

"You have to be such a killjoy?" Tricia asks.

"It's why you keep me around." Lea says.

"Don't worry, he's not dead, or hurt." Mari says to a shaking Tammy. "Lea knows how to knock someone out. We don't want your brother to get hurt."

"But...the code?" She says softly.

"My code does not exist to make your life perfect, or even happy. I would if I could, but that's not why I'm a paladin. No, my duty as a paladin is to make sure that you survive. As long as you're alive, life can get better. I'm here to get you to the light at the end of the tunnel." You say. "Also, we really can't just kill off a whole tribe of folk to take their things. That's exactly what they did to you folk. An eye for an eye isn't how the teachings go."

She looks down at her feet and nods. "Okay. I...I understand."

You can tell that she doesn't. She still thinks that her life has just traded one monstrous master for another. She's just agreeing to avoid displeasing you and possible punishment.

Tisgut is making a lot of torches, soaking cloth and sticks in the barrel of that black stuff he uses. He's also...painting the side of the non-passenger wagon with the stuff?

I hope the wood doesn't catch on fire.

>>25959847
doublecheck to make sure the "non-passenger" wagon has no slaves in there. You can never be sure with these slave owning types.

>>25959847
We're a giant snake lady that's going across the ice surfing atop a flaming wagon, surrounded by Orc warriors going full tilt.

Fuck yes.

>>25959909
>fuck yes
I feel it's ruined by how we KOed a guy for thinking this was stupid and suicidal. (Totally is).

>>25959847
"You don't have to understand Tammy. I just hope when we get back to real civilization you don't hold it against me. Him neither.

>>25959941
Eh, we'll just have to make up for it later by making a safe, reliable highway. Made of fire.

Rolled 14

>>25959890
This.

I hope you guys don't mind my Riddickulous archiving. Its just in case thing happen you know.

"You don't have to understand Tammy. I just hope when we get back to real civilization you, and your brother, don't hold it against me." You say.

She shrugs and nods the nod of the subservient and defeated.

You check. Nope, looks like there's nothing in the things wagon but rolled up tents, food, weapons, and and other things. The only person is Sirala, and she's just sitting in the front.

"Last resort." Tisgut says, pointing at the blackened walls of the wagon. "First last resort, really." He says. "LAST last resort something different."

>>25960036
(It's horrible on a level that's equal to Ssen's. I love it.)

Rolled 8

>>25960072
If violence isn't our last resort, then we failed to resort to enough of it.

>>25960072
"See, I like to categorize my resorts. I've sometimes got plans from A to F, all worse ideas than the first."

>>25960107
Do you have any ideas or uses you would like Tisgut to try to use his Black Oil on? Would you like him to coat Wagon in the stuff? Right now, Tisgut has just a few simple Orc uses for the stuff. This is a chance to add your creativity to things.

>>25960105
Thanks. I prepared it last night.

>>25960072
Well ,we should show Tisgut our fireworks and tell him they're meant to be used against bunches of small enemies or mammoth sized enemies.

>>25960172
...Can we coat the weapons in it?

>>25960172
Would Wagon survive being lit up?

Rolled 5

>>25960172
Unfortunately I am unfamiliar with kerosene or whichever form of Oil is being used here.

Hopefully one of the other posters will have an idea.

>>25960172
Get a few torches stuck out from the wagon. It won't be on fire, but it will have fire ON it. Also, if we have any jars, make a molotov or two. If we don't have high proof enough alcohol technology for molotovs to exist yet, get a single jar for flaming arrows.

>>25960202
Well, normal weapons should be coated in the Black Oil. Peri's Whisper Blades, Tricia's Amber Sickle and Beacon should not.

>>25960172
Do we have twang on us?

I can only really think of tipping our arrows with it.

Once we get out of the tundra, I wanna use it as oil slick at least once.

>>25960264
oil slick plus fire arrows equals fun

>>25960281
my plans are these:

Fire arrows
Flaming oil slick
Molotovs/firebombs

Also, we can try to see if lightmare likes to eat kerosine.

>>25960318
We could use the wood boards from Wgon to use as improvised torches as a not-last-but-really-close-to-it resort.

Also, don't forget about Beacon. We might need to use Enlightenment/Morningstar.

>>25960172
coat wagon's wheel's in the stuff.

It will make for a cool effect, if we need it.

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>>25960404
forgot my picture.

No way this can go wrong.

>>25960435
Weaken and break the wheels, completely screw up the axle. We have extra weight with those two former slaves around and we're not really 750 pounds.

>>25960318
Lightmare does NOT like the taste of black crude.

The arrows are no problem at all, although now you can't put poison on them. It's a bad mix and the fire would null the Black anyway.

As for firebombs...roll 1d8.

Rolled 4

>>25960594

>>25960573
Okay let me correct myself

"At least it can't get any worse!"

Rolled 7

>>25960594

Rolled 8

>>25960594
Ryan: channel your ghostly working man's plight into Ssen so she can invent molotovs.

Or remember they exist, if they're already invented.

Rolled 1

>>25960664
>Ryan: channel your ghostly working man's plight into Ssen so she can invent molotovs.

Ryan smiles upon us it seems

>>25960664
Well shit.

>>25960686
he's trying to get us to publish that book already. We already did the grave and the black rose white tree thing.

I'm sad jesse's ghost didn't erupt from the ground the instant we planted the rose.

Rolled 9

>>25960723
I thought Ryan's book was on the top of the list of things for Barney to print with their fancy printing machine.

>>25960754
I am unsure. All I know is we GOT the book.

>>25960664
You notice that there's some empty clay jars in the van of goods. They're smaller than the usual water jugs.

"What are those for?" Mage asks when you pull one out.

"Dried herbs, powders, seeds, flower petals. Little things that need to be stored." Sirala says.

"Ssen..." Peri asks, very VERY cautious. "What are you thinking?"

You remember how very very quickly that oil soaked rag went up. Plus the idea of flaming oil is pretty basic, just with this black stuff instead of animal fat.

"I have an idea." You say.

Tisgut, Sirala, and the other orcs want NOTHING to do with what they see to be as one of the most suicidal creations they've ever seen.

You how ever, now have seven firebombs, made out of clay, a rag, and a mass of crude oil.

Anything else you want to think about cobbling together, other than the torches the others are nailing to the side of Wagon?

>>25960853
"I don't see what you're all so worried about, it's just a flaming jar. Nothing could go wrong."

I can't think of too much more. we're burning time and daylight here. Unless anyone else has great ideas.

>>25960853
I don't know if the orc opinion of us is Fearless or just Stupid now.

oh well!

I don't think we have the tools nor the knowhow to make a flaming supersoaker oil flamethrower thing so this will have to do.

>>25960853
Fire arrows

>>25960919
>fearless or stupid
Yes. You got it in one.

>>25960220
the torches idea sounds like it could work

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in b4

Other than trying to mix it with poisons, or tasting what it's like... I got nothing. and at least half of those are bad ideas.

Tisgut is riding a Hind by himself. He's actually strapped torches to the poor creature's antlers and lit them. The Tundra Hind doesn't seem to mind, though. It actually seems to be trying to use the flames to impress Lightmare.

Lightmare is chewing on a hunk of what you think might be partially-exploded-dead orc-slightly fleshy-bone chunk, and is unimpressed.

You all travel together up to the very edge of the Ice. It's not THAT dark yet, The sun's just starting to set. You've got a few more hours of light left...but that's while you're on land, of course.

Tisgut takes out a spy glass and scans the horizon. He stops and hands it to you, pointing.

You look, you do indeed see a point of light in the distance across the ice. It must be a very large fire...just the thought of being near such a huge lazing fire makes your scales shiver in excitement.

"Any words, fearless Paladin, before we go do this stupid, stupid thing?" Tricia asks.

"don't die"

>>25961233
"I should have figured out tailsocks."

Rolled 6

>>25961233
Praise be unto the Light, and may we not die.

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>>25961065

>>25961233
>trying to impress lightmare
So... lightmare's a lady horse?

We never figured that out.

>>25961233
Wait is lightmare a mare or a stallion?

Rolled 2

>>25961327
.....light MARE

>>25961327
Presumably we'd be able to notice if he had a +3 "Firebrand", if you know what I mean. I suppose that makes it female. Making Mage the only guy in the whole party. Who still never gets any.

>>25961233
"Pffft, last words are tempting fate. Figuratively."

>>25961353
we're terrible at naming things. Lightmare's name has nothing to do with her gender.

>>25961327
It'd be another female who isn't trying to get into Mage's pants. Lightmare completes the set.

>>25961233
"Within the Darkness is Where the Light is Needed Most, thus There In The Darkness We Must Stand. That has been the Caligo Clarus's motto for untold generations. And today, we shall prove it. "

then >>25961283

Rolled 19

>>25961364
to be honest, that's by choice at this point. He's actively attempting to defend his chastity

>>25961404
Why do you people insist on keeping your dice on?

>>25961364
>still never gets any
I think he might have gotten some at a few points. But immediately fled from committed relationships into a life of adventure.

Rolled 11

>>25961442

I do it because I like rolling dice.

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>>25961404
And we're his pimp.

>>25961483
look, it's OBVIOUS he's into powerful older ladies given his dating history. We've just not set him up with the RIGHT powerful older lady.

"Within the Darkness is Where the Light is Needed Most, thus There In The Darkness We Must Stand. That has been the Caligo Clarus's motto for untold generations. And today, we shall prove it." You say. "Praise be unto the Light, and may we not die."

"Amen." The Dawnchasers say.

"Remember." Tisgut says. "Don't stop. No matter what. Don't. Stop."

He kicks the Hind in the sides, the drivers and Lea snap their reigns and you all start charging onto the Ice.

You instantly regret every decision you've EVER made.

It's pitch black, freezing, and cold, oh by His Light and all the others even Citadel, it's COLD!

The wind is howling, and blowing straight into your faces. This is SUCH a bad idea.

And then the lighting strikes begin...which is right after you hear the sound that's not-quite howling.

And after these messages, we'll be right back.

>>25961364
Mage does get some, he's just the sleaziest person we know aside from Isen.

>>25961521
Try to keep moving. There's a very real risk you might just fall into snakecoma.

also, see you after these breaks.

>>25961521
Ready Twang

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>>25961523
Just because he's not interested in a committed relationship after the sister he was pining away for turned out to be completely evil and batshit insane doesn't make him sleazy. And he's "not gettin' any" because anyone he wants to have a casual relationship dumps him because he's a mutant cannibal zombie.

>>25961521
We should remember to apologize to tammy and terry. this is just HORRIBLE.

Also, we'll probably have to talk in shiver language l-l-like t-t-this for a while.

Wait, the Red Wolves live surrounded by the Ice? Or an extension of the Ice appeared between them and the rest of the Orc land, but still leaving a 'bridge' of normal land?

>>25961645
I think the second one. They're on a peninsula.

>>25961676
er to
>>25961664

>>25961584
He is second sleaziest in the same way room temp water is the second hottest when compared to ice and coffee.

>>25961712
Mage just wants a nice, simple one night stand with an attractive woman who wants nothing from him besides maybe breakfast the day after.

And a day off where he has nothing to do on his list other than eat a whole platter of baked potatoes.

In short, he's a man who dreams the impossible dream.

>>25961759
I think we need to recruit Tisgut into our party, Mage needs more male friends.

After we teach Tisgut some manners

>>25961759
Do you think the orc shamans are looking for long term relationships? They seem the type to go for one night stands

>>25961803
mage will never have a permanent male friend. Fate and providence collude against it.

>>25961839
He has Isen.

>>25961848
NEVER.

>>25961759
To be fair, we're hoping for a day off that will never come as well.

And yes, Tisgut needs to come back south with us.

>>25961904
we'll need an orcish representative, sure. And some kind of mutual defense agreement.

After that, I'm thinking of selling our monster slaying services to the orcs as a whole in exchange for all the slaves.

>>25961978
We're setting out to kill every god we come across. We kill the Iceman, they'll fucking worship us.

Rolled 7

>>25961978
>After that, I'm thinking of selling our monster slaying services to the orcs as a whole in exchange for all the slaves.

Not going to work. Even if it did, they'd just acquire more slaves. We'd need to change how their economy works to stop them from slaving.

>>25962043
yeah, we'll have to curtail the raiding somehow.

>>25962043
Killing the source of the ice things would make working up there less difficult and creating a market for oil by passing it off to the inventor's guild could make it much cheaper to have willing workers

>>25961233
>Lightmare is the new Mage
only with mounts instead of powerful women

>>25962110
We'll take back the stuff and hand it around. See if anyone's interested.
>>25962043
I'm of the mind we should be up front with the orcs when we get to diplomatic talks with them. We want them to help us against the phoenix, they're our mutual enemies. But we don't accept their slaving and raiding ways, so if a solution can't be found, and we don't all die, we'll probably come to blows.

>>25962043
If we kill the god that they are terrified of, we have plenty of leverage.

>>25961823
all I can think is "death by snusnu".
and I think Mage has similar thoughts

>>25961521
"GHA!" Lea screams as a bolt of lighting hits the ground just a few feet away from you, the noise is deafening and ice shards fly up and embed themselves within the side of Wagon.

"KEEP GOING!" Tricia says.

You look out at the side and you see...well, you see people. Lots of people. They're standing, lying down, kneeling, in countless positions, and they're everywhere. All frozen. You aren't riding over a frozen ocean, this is a frozen mass grave. All of them looking identical to each other.

They aren't human. They're humanoid, but they've got three insect-esque segmented eyes, and three mandibles. You could make out more features, but you're torn away from the mass of bodies by seeing what is causing the howling.

They have the bodies of hairless wolves, deadflesh wrapped around something slimy, cold, and red. Their legs end at their ankles, and their feet are claws of Ice, they snap off and regrow and they keep getting sharper and more jagged as they snap and warp.

They have no heads. but from their necks is a collection of arms. The smallest has five, the biggest has nine. They're all black and frozen and have ice crystals jutting out of the skin. The arms end with hands and the palms are split open, revealing mouths with a circular row of teeth and black tongues. The mouths are the thing that are howling at you.

The hands rip and tear at anything that they can reach as the ice claw/legs propel the creatures towards you. They rip at the frozen dead bodies of the Three-Eyes as they pass, and the mouths goggle up anything they can.

The lighting strikes again, and Lea's forced to make Lightmare turn to the side for a moment, then back up. The slow down is enough that the Hounds are starting to catch up.

Roll 2d20. You're trying to hit 100 and not get overtaken by the Hounds.

Rolled 18, 14 = 32

>>25962387
Lets roll

Rolled 8, 2 = 10

>>25962387

Rolled 11, 3 = 14

>>25962387
Get a firebomb out and wait for whether or not you need to light it. We have 7 of the damn things, we've got to keep the caravan secure.

Rolled 6, 6 = 12

>>25962387
Not looking good.

>>25962387
Trying to get 100 on 2d20 seems hard.

>>25962410
A good start.

>>25962447
Just cut the dice in- Oh, wait.

>>25962387
"Wow, get a load of these guys, they're on our tails. At least they're not giving us the cold shoulder."

Then, as we're throwing pots
"Let's give them a warm reception!"

Or, better puns if you like.

Aaaaaah I've been waiting this entire quest for the chance to bust out my ice puns, and now I can't think of a SINGLE ONE

>>25962462
no, you can do it, just cut it so each number lands face up, you end with well over 100.

File: 1373596189928.gif-(2.85 MB, 298x224, 1372581984028.gif)

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>>25962596
I guess some people just freeze up under pressure

>>25962625
No, no, I just need to chill out, I'm sure I can think of something.

>>25962522
we can pun better than this.
and don't fire until you can see the whites of their... umm, mouths?

>>25962653
Cool it, we'll think of something

But CAN Ssen keep her cool?

>>25962653
Icy, well, get back to me when you come up with one.

Rolled 1, 19 = 20

>>25962410
(You're going to be adding to that number.)
You start off at a good clip. Lightmare's not phased at the sight of all the dead that are around.

"Sis, I think we've established the benchmark of what we call a bad idea from hereon in." Mage says as he looks at the Hounds as they chase after you.

"Wow, get a load of these guys, they're on our tails. At least they're not giving us the cold shoulder." You say.

Mage just stares at you.

"Oooh, I guess some people just freeze up under pressure." You say.

"And now I've discovered a fate just barely worse that being eaten by the hand-mouths of monstrous Ice Death Hounds that have emerged from the Darkest Pit imaginable." He says.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRH-Ywpz1_I
Relevant

>>25962693
Ssen's at risk of becoming coldhearted.
It's no joke.
She could die.

>>25962703
"That's just cold Mage."

>>25962703
"How about being eaten by BURNING ice hound hand mouths?"

This seems like a good chance to test our firebombs. Also 7 is an odd number and I can't deal with that.

>>25962703
"I've never gotten such an icy reception out of you, Brother."

>>25962752
okay, fuck what I just said, go with this one
>>25962740
because it make me giggle like an idiot.

>>25962703
The hounds are still lagging behind, but are WAY too close for comfort.

"I can try and fry them!" Mage says. "But I'm telling you now, this place is bonkers with Bad Magic. I'm running on my own personal HEKA flow that res-magic babble cut short...I've only got so many big ass fireballs I can shoot before I'm spent!" He pauses. "A poor choice of words, but you get what I mean!"

You also have a full quiver of oiled arrows that you can light, but then you have to HIT the Hounds, who are moving, while inside a moving vehicle yourself. Not an easy shot.

"Peri's told me she's got a secret weapon she got from Barney!" He says. "She was hoping to save it for Citadel, but if you give the go ahead, I'll have her use it. I think it's a Blackpowder weapon. she's got one, maybe two shots!"

>>25962703
"Chill out, Bro. This is snow joke, and we need to keep a cool head in this situation."

Rolled 8

>>25962782
Hold fire for now. Maybe if they get closer.

>>25962782
"Lets put the gunpowder on ice for now, save it for something big."

Can't we stabilize ourselves like a gyroscope to improve our aim?

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>>25962712
The dawnchasers have bad times coming.

>>25962782
let's let out two arrows, to test how hard it is to shoot while on the wagon at high speed in a windstorm.

>>25962782
>>25962855
I agree. Get the grillin starting with fire arrows.

>>25962782
"I'll put these ones on ice myself."

Then use fire arrows.

Because we're dicks.

>>25962782
A tough shot's better than no shot at all, take a few, then tell Mage and Peri to work their magic.

>>25963067
well, we DO have 7 shots of firebomb. We should use one or two before we get into our caster pool

Rolled 1

>>25963067

No, not yet. We should wait until they're closer and we have a better shot. Hopefully they don't get any closer.

"That's just cold Mage." You say as you take out Twang and some arrows. "I've never gotten such an icy reception out of you, Brother. Anyway, lets put the gunpowder on ice for now, save it for something big. I'll put these ones on ice myself."

"If this is your way of making me not fear death, it's working." Mage says.

You fire your fire arrows at the Hounds.

2d20

Rolled 4, 3 = 7

>>25963150

Rolled 20, 2 = 22

>>25963150
Fire for effect.

>>25963150
MORE PUNS!

>>25962798

Rolled 11, 20 = 31

>>25963150

Rolled 13, 5 = 18

>>25963150

Rolled 20, 12 = 32

>>25963150
see
>>25963180

Rolled 9, 18 = 27

>>25963150
Snow problem.

That's quite a few twenties.

>>25963150
"Damn, I used the same one twice in a row. Now I'm all thrown off."

>>25963168
>>25963169
>>25963191
>First three rolls
>20s on each attack
>no crit fails
WINNING.

>>25963191
Your first arrow flies to the side a little.

"Damn...I used the same one twice in a row. Now I'm all thrown off." You mutter.

You take a deep breath. "But, it's snow problem."

You let an arrow fly and it nails one of the Hounds ring dead center of its 'face' it lights on fire instantly, and hissing and steaming it crashes into the hound next to it sending the beasts flying and scattering around each other in a tumbled burning mass.

"Damn, sister...your skill is giving me the shivers." Mage says.

Roll 3d20

Rolled 10, 10, 3 = 23

>>25963431

Rolled 5, 19, 13 = 37

>>25963431
Great now HE'S doing it.

Rolled 4, 12, 10 = 26

>>25963431
rollan

Rolled 15, 6, 8 = 29

>>25963431

Rolled 11, 16, 5 = 32

>>25963431
Okay now that mage is doing them too it's not cool any more

>>25963431
Cackle.
"We'll make a punster of you yet, Mage."

>>25963493
Doesn't cackling make us look like we're on the road to talking to stumps?

Stay frosty, we're not in the clear quite yet.

>>25963518
yes. Which honestly is probably how things are going to go in a hundred years or so.

Rolled 15

>>25963450
Travel total: 69

You cackle and slap Mage on the back. "We'll make a punster of you yet, Mage."

"Well, I suppose it'd only be natural that I'd cannibalize the human language." He says.

"Been waiting to use that one your whole life, haven't you?" Tricia asks.

"You have NO idea." Mage says. "Shit. They're still on us."

"Yeah, stay frosty." You say. "We're not in the clear yet."

The Hounds keep coming, they're a ways back though.

>>25963574
Let's check what's in front of us. If the monsters are hanging back, that means there's a giant monster under the ice waiting in ambush in front of us.

Rolled 17, 19 = 36

>>25963598
I second this man's paranoia.

>>25963574
Hounds: 35

"These things just don't give up!" Tricia says.

"It's the damn lighting strikes!" Lea yells. "I can't believe we haven't been hit yet!"

"You're the one who's supposed to not stop praying!" Peri shouts.

Those hounds aren't going to stop. You need to try and slow them down again.

>>25963617
Fire bomb? Fire bomb.

>>25963617
Fire pot. That'll slow anything down.

And I want to see why it's so suicidal.

>>25963617
Aimed bow shot, use our flexibility to act like a gyroscope, go for another pile up.
"You don't have a lightning rod on your back!"

>>25963617
Firebombs. Fire in the cold!

>>25963646
oh so THAT'S why we keep almost being hit

I wonder how much of a beacon charge a lightning strike gives.

>>25963617
quickly MORE PUNS.
or maybe firebombs. but I think the solution is puns

>>25963637
>>25963638
>>25963653

You light a rag on a firebomb. Mage and Tricia duck down.

You chuck it at the hounds.

Roll 1d8 for the size of the explosion.

"I think I burned through my ice jokes too quickly"

Because we're using fire.
Y'see, it's a reference to... okay, I know it's terrible.

Rolled 4

>>25963722
We're not cool or a guy, so I think we're safe to look at explosions.

Rolled 3

>>25963722

Rolled 8

>>25963722
rollan

Rolled 6

>>25963722

Rolled 4

>>25963722

Rolled 1, 13 = 14

>>25963722
Damn, missed a roll.

>>25963741
"Boom baby"
*pull our hood down over our eyes*

>>25963741
TAKE THIS PLEASE

>>25963770
>wanting maximum on explosion size roll

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>>25963741

>>25963792
We like warm

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There's no way this could go poorly.

>>25963770
Oh yes, I plan to...hold on I have to stop laughing hysterically. Ohhh...what to do, what to do...I don't want to simply incinerate you...

>>25963825
Please take my one-liner

>>25963825
Perhaps we could see what Lightmare thinks of being warmer than usual?

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>>25963825
It wouldn't be the first time the wagon's flown

>>25963825
The Explosion will propel us forward while incinerating our foes.

Then we'll put on Eye-Shades and make a cheesy Gibson One Liner

this is what action movies taught me about large explosions

>>25963854
Oh shit wagon needs to fly

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>>25963792
Explosions are always good

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>>25963878
Dragon brain sez: When in doubt, burn it!

have a better picture.

>>25963908
thanks, couldnt find a proper gif

File: 1373600569459.gif-(990 KB, 400x225, 1371613246505.gif)

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>>25963944
No problem.

Rolled 5, 5, 3, 6 = 19

>>25963908
Okay, so...apparently THAT jar was used to keep a certain dust made from charcoal, salt, and sulfur. Yeah, the Orcs have blackpowder. A very very basic form of the stuff that's more smoke and spark with maybe a small bang than anything else. They use it as a noise maker mostly.

This time however, thanks to the magic in the air, and the flames from the crude oil...yeah.

Roll 1d10. Lower is better.

Rolled 8

>>25964075
Boom.

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Rolled 8

>>25964075
I will roll a 10 now

Rolled 4

>>25964075
Well shit

Rolled 3, 1 = 4

>>25964086
>>25964096
>>25964103

Hopefully Echo will take the best, instead of the highest.

>>25964138
he always takes the best of 3

File: 1373601161981.gif-(1.19 MB, 276x210, Observing.gif)

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Meanwhile, in the orc wagon

Rolled 6

>>25964103

Purdy good.

>>25964086
>>25964096
well, at least they weren't 10s.

>>25964169
Orks are impressed by explosions.
I know this because of reasons.

Rolled 10

>>25964086
We are
>>25964096
Going to
>>25964103
Die.

>>25964248
Oh god. What have I done?

>>25964248
Psh my 4 is low enough to keep us fine.

Rolled 9, 8 = 17

>>25964260
Nothing. It was the forth roll and you weren't even quoting Echo's post.

>>25964075
Mage and Tricia both let out gasps as the shockwave knocks them off their feet and they land on the bottom of wagon, hard.

Peri catches her balance along the side of Wagon and remains standing.

You hear a swear from Lea. You look, there's a chunk of shrapnel sticking out of her back. It's not a big wound. (By your standards anyway) So she just rips out the chunk of...whatever it is (probably best not to know) and keeps Lightmare going.

You lose your own balance, but manage to catch yourself with your hands so you can push yourself pack up, slowly. Plus your ears are ringing and your hearing's shot.

Roll 2d20

Rolled 16, 13 = 29

>>25964363
Here we go

Rolled 3, 5 = 8

>>25964363

Rolled 16, 8 = 24

>>25964363
So we need to get thirty one to get clear of the ice on this roll, right?

Rolled 9, 14 = 23

>>25964363
Oh jeez I hope lea didn't get a piece of ice or ice monster in her.

>>25964363
If we get the chance we should check on Lea's wound.

Magical shit flying around is bad news.

>>25964461
GEt trichia to do it

>>25964389
Travel: 98.

Clear of the ICE? Oh no no no. This gets you clear of this PART of the Ice. There's a LOT more to go.

Although now it's comforting to see a light in the distance. It's a solid red glow on the horizon.

The largest hound you've ever seen, one with at least ten arms, goes for absolute broke trying to catch up to you, it sprouts two more legs and its hand start to try and push and grasp at the ground anything to get closer. It's obviously hurting itself in its fury, but damn is that thing going fast.

3d20

Rolled 8, 3, 16 = 27

>>25964521
Sorry, forgot to put the dice roll in this one.

>>25964537
Looks like that dog is a little bitch

Rolled 6, 14, 4 = 24

>>25964521
Well, that's interesting. I wonder why the wolf is so pissed.

probably because of the fire bomb.

Man, why can't I hear anything?

Rolled 15, 7, 17 = 39

>>25964521

>>25964521
Oil slick? I think we should.

>>25964521
"Mage. Flambe that freakshow! Oh Light..you heard me say that right? Mage. Don't make me try to Pantomime dammit!"

>>25964564
Give Echo's roll time to process, if we need to, oil slick it and light it up.

I doubt we'll need to do anything, we're way ahead.

I'm still waiting for the ambush in front of us.

>>25964537

It's still not enough though. You can wave to it as it slowly loses its pace and Lightmare and Wagon speed away.

The lightning seems to have stopped as well.

"SHIT!" Lea screams and Lightmare makes a hard bank the OTHER way.

You scramble upwards, past Tricia and Mage's groaning forms and get next to Peri.

"It just ripped open right in front of us!" Peri says.

"AGAIN!" Lea shouts and it's true, the ground split open a fissure right infront of wagon, you snap your head to look behind you and you see the Ice Fissure snap close with such fury that chunks as big as your head are flung into the air.

A blast of lighting again almost hits the cart.

"AGAIN?" Peri screams. "COME ON!"

It's a shriek this time, and it comes from the air. You turn and you see the Long-Legs. A chain of frozen deadflesh limbs, all chained together up, up, and up, at least thirty feet high. They stride across the Ice, with no hesitation or unnessecary breakage. The thing that's connected to these giant four appendages is a mound of ice covered in deadflesh, save for it's moth a gaping maw that looks more like the inside of a butcher's sausage grinder. A spinning mass of canine teeth, shrieking and wailing. Thin spiderweb thin tendrils fling out from the mouth, trying to latch onto Wagon, slow it down, so they can catch up.

We start over again. The fissures and lighting blasts are slowing Lea down, so it's now a score of 150.

Roll 2d20

Rolled 5, 1 = 6

>>25964691
Well fuck

Time to get ready to oil slick at some point

Rolled 12, 20 = 32

Oh, oh, catch one of the spiderweb tendrils and attach a bomb to it, then let it pull back in.

>>25964713
and now I regret rolling

Rolled 9, 1 = 10

>>25964691

>>25964726
>>25964718
>>25964713
Welp

We're boned

Rolled 12, 7 = 19

>>25964691
Feed it a bomb or three.

Rolled 3, 6, 16, 11, 4, 8 = 48

>>25964718
The longlegs stride towards you.
(They can take an auto 20 each turn, and attempt to launch tendrils at you. If they can beat the remaining distance, you've got a problem.) There's three Longlegs with two tendrils each.

>>25964691
"Guys, don't look behind us. You wouldn't like it."

I assume we're the only one looking.

>>25964743
Mage should help to lob this one into the flying dead thing.

>>25964817
I think they're just really long legged, not actually flying.

Rolled 2, 13, 7, 13, 7, 10 = 52

>>25964812
One tendril latches onto the side of Wagon. It's not enough to slow you down any.

Options are: Mage's spells (4 uses), firebombs (6), fire arrows (Infinite but have to hit), deal with tendril (special), Peri's special shot (2), Tricia's swarm (Roll for effect). You can use as many or as few as you like. You can also tell Lea to just go for broke and get an auto 25.

>>25964812
I think we've got a problem.

Let's solve a problem. Oil slick, or bomb-fed tendril if we can catch one.

>>25964877
Stab the tendril with beacon and shoot a fire arrow at the culprit.

>>25964877
I say deal with the tendril by sticking a bomb to it then cutting it off the wagon. If not is the official voting time.

>>25964877
FEED THEM FIREBOMBS

have mage fireball one, and shoot arrows at another one, they are too far up for firebombs to be very effective i think

>>25964904
Considering the shockwave when we actually threw a bomb, I don't think this is a good idea.

>>25964998
how else are we supposed to feed them firebombs?

"Guys, don't look behind us. You wouldn't like it." You say.

"Too late." You hear Tricia whimper.

Alright, in order for you to stick the /lit/ firebomb, to a tendril and send it back, you're going to have to make two separate checks. That thing is covered with micro-stingers and His Light knows what else. So, any tactics you want to use other than 'Light it, stick the bomb on, rip the thing off Wagon?'

>>25965014
Spit a nice little splash of Clear on it?

I really wanna find out how our venoms work on these things.

>>25965014
Cut the thing off Wagon.

Don't wanna touch that shit.

>>25965014
quick quick the bomb in and cut it off with beacon

>>25965014
Let's tie it on with a bow More reliable than just sticking, and we don't have to touch it.

Also, use a heated blade to slice the thing off. This is my plan. If anyone wants a different plan or strategy, go nuts.

>>25965014
Can't we cut its tendrils off with Beacon?

>>25965014
Stick bomb on, cut the tendril off wagon.

Hopefully it'll have a sort of elastic effect and propel the bomb back into it's mouth.

I say we go with arrows, the firebomb thing sounds like something that could get us killed with a bad roll.

>>25965079
yeah, but that would be the wise thing to do. When's the last time we did that?

In order to be able to stick the bomb onto the tendril and then cut it off, and have the tendril STILL hold the bomb, you'd have to stick it to the thing in mid-air. It's a guaranteed thing if you stick it to the part that's still on Wagon and then pull the full tendril off.

Otherwise you're holding out a bomb hoping that it wraps around it, or chuck a lit bomb at a thing that's about as thick as your finger.

>>25965179
point. if nothing else, it would be a shame if we never used our rerolls

>>25965072
I was thinking string up the bomb to a rope on an arrow, plant the arrow, and dangle the bomb behind the lead... thing.

>>25965196
Fuck it, we're grabbing it then.

>>25965196
Yeah, we're sticking it to the part on the wagon then whacking it off. Am I missing something here? Where's the mid-air part come in?

>>25965244
let's just use our precious, precious handkerchief as an intermediary between our hand and the tentacle. That way we can release.

Question:

If we strike these stragglers off with beacon do we start charging Beacon's Flare?

>>25965201
Or we could just not use a bomb. We also have Mage's spells, fire arrows, Beacon, and Tricia's insects. Plenty of options that don't involve blowing ourselves up.

>>25965291
true.

but bombs