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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1373440299147.jpg-(173 KB, 1920x1200, 'MERIKA.jpg)
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You are Peter File analyst for the NSA, and you hate your name, but more importantly you are waiting for a Mr. Drew Curry to scan and translate the Oh No I Poop From There Sensei~ manga. He put up the first three chapters, and you've been hooked since by the hard hitting combination of young free spirited girls love, incisive philosophical commentary, and hard core anal ravaging held between those electronic pages. It's like someone made the Mona Lisa in to a realdoll that lactated Ben & Jerry's Half Baked brand ice cream.

But regrettably, you also found out that Drew Curry downloaded the latest attempt by Axl Rose to milk money from his fans without paying for it, a penalty which would warrant an immediate hellfire missile from the Predator drone orbiting around his house. You've got the button right there- all you need to do is hit the enter key, and kerpow, America is safe, Uncle Sam gives you a high five, and you get another Freedom medal to put on your night stand.

But you REALLY want to find out what Umineko-sempai is hiding in her colon.

Normally, you'd sweep this under the rug and ignore it, but you're pretty sure Marc (Fucking MARC, who the fuck spells that without a k?) snuck a peek at your monitor on the way to his cubicle. Typical Marc shit. He's probably hammering away on his fat little fingers trying to find Mr. Curry's address right now to hellfire that no good hippie pirate piece of shit. And you'll be damned if you'll let MarC get away with that.

Do you:
>[ ] Deliver a scorching pile of liberty to Drew's bed room?
>[ ] Cover up for Drew, in hopes of getting some sweet 'me' time with a bottle of lotion and shame later?
>[ ] Throw things at Marc over the cube wall.
>[ ] Oh no don't you dare think of a custom choice that would make me so mad.
>>
Throw things at Marc first. No witnesses.
>>
>[ ] Throw things at Marc over the cube wall.
FucC MarC.
>>
Cover up for Drew, the road of liberty is paved with necessary compromise.
>>
>>25925838
[X] Throw things at Marc over the cube wall.
>>
>>25925950
Marc had this shit coming.

Your arsenal is mighty. Paperclips, staples, the, uh, bigger paperclips, some wadded sticky notes- well, okay, but it'll bug the hell out of him.

1d20, best of three!
>>
Rolled 18

>>25925995
>>
Rolled 3

>>25925995
>>
Rolled 3

>>25925995
>>
I say staple a paper that says I love terrorism on his back. That fat fuck.
>>
[X] We must have SOME dirt on that little fuck Marc. Get a drone near THAT house and hold it hostage.
>>
>>25925999
You are JFK, he is Gorbachev, the chair you're in is Turkey, and he just hit Cuba? Your metaphors might suck, but your aim is dead on.

"Peter," You hear annoyed over the wall. Another volley of wadded notes, cleverly with sticky side out rain on him. Amateur hour at karaoke night, the fool had just given away his location for your keen ears to hone in on.

"Peter! Peter, fucking quip aergahe hack hack blech-" You don't open your mouth to ask the rain to stop during a piss storm Marcy Marc and the funky bunch.

You hear him vigorously tearing away from his desk, and to your satisfaction hear the muted zap of the personal Stingray Tazer drone give him a little bit of vitamin V for volt. You give a grim smile. This was 'Nam, and he was fresh from his momma's teats. Your own personal Stingray drone warbles nearby, so you start slapping the keyboard in an act worthy of Shakespeare.

"Fuck you Peter!" You hear over the cubicle wall. While fatty struggles with a heart irregularity, you gotta worry about the Drew situation.

>[ ] Make him the center piece of a 4th of July celebration. As hosted by Predator drone.
>[ ] Cover up for his irregularities- needs of the many and the few or something.
>[ ] Fuck with the kid. Start up a text to speech program on his computer in the background, and start sending missives while he's busy spanking it to cybork porn.
>[ ] Fucking swear to god if you give me a custom option I will god damn cut you.
>>
>>25926106
>[ ] Fuck with the kid. Start up a text to speech program on his computer in the background, and start sending missives while he's busy spanking it to cybork porn.
>>
>>25926106
Tell him to finish translating the manga or he'll get hellfire'd

Hellfire him right after he finishes it.
>>
>>25926106
[ ] Fucking swear to god if you give me a custom option I will god damn cut you.
>>
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>"Peter! Peter, fucking quip aergahe hack hack blech-" You don't open your mouth to ask the rain to stop during a piss storm Marcy Marc and the funky bunch.

Confirmed for best quest on /tg/ right now
>>
>>25926106
>[ ] Fucking swear to god if you give me a custom option I will god damn cut you.

Direct him to /b/. No, better. FIRE UP /B/ ON HIS FUCKING COMPUTER
>>
>>25926179
>[X] Fuck with the kid. Start up a text to speech program on his computer in the background, and start sending missives while he's busy spanking it to cybork porn.

PARTY VAN MOTHERFUCKER
>>
>>25926106
Carefully and slyly maniupulate his computer. If he is playing a game, start up an aimbot or something.

Make sure that everything he does goes right, and put a .txt file on his computer that says "I am your God."

Never talk with him beyond that.
>>
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>>25926130
>>25926171
This fucking lazy ass shit stain. You KNOW he got the latest of Kawaii Shota Love Generation Jump just yesterday, and here you are looking through his webcam at his o-face imagining himself being filled with green chrome possibly fungoid definitely not canon dick.

My God. What have you done with your life.

Nope, can't think about that. You toggle up the backdoor as he tries to garnish his hot pockets.

"Kid," Haha, it's the future, the singularity has been suppressed twice now, and Microsoft still can't fucking make a voice program not sound like a retard that flunked out of hooked on phonics talking in to a box fan. Nonetheless, you see him make his best impersonation of Keanu from the excellent Bill and Ted movies.

"Wha-WHAT? Who is this?"
"It's the party van, you genetic cul-de-sac, and you should look out your window in five, four, three, two, one-" You tap at the pred drone, try to find the nearest vehicle owned by a brown person, and launch a rocket at it. Kid gets illuminated in yellow, the web cam shakes, and he flips his shit.
"Shut the FUCK UP kid, or help me god I will fucking learn Japanese myself, you got the latest Oh No I Poop From There Sensei, right? Why isn't it translated?"
Drew gets a smug look on his face, "Uh, do you mean Dowashito Maximo Onegai Sudoku~~~?" He pronounces the tildes.

This fucking kid.
>[ ] Fuck it. Go straight to the source, see if you can black mail somebody in the Japanese embassy to do it, and hellfire this fuckhead.
>[ ] Be patient. This kid has delivered before.
>[ ] Throw more shit at Marc until he's done sperging.
>[ ] Frosted butts.

>>25926179
YOU WANNA GO? YOU WANNA FUCKING GO?
>>
>>25926355
[X] Be patient. This kid has delivered before.

"Sure, whatever kid. Just fucking translate that, I will kill you and frame you for terrorism so nobody can complain if you don't get right on that."
>>
>>25926355
>[ ] Frosted butts.
Did you even have to ask?
>>
>>25926355
[X] Frosted butts.
>>
Rolled 61

>>25926355
>[] Frosted Butts

Do I need to roll for that?
>>
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>>25926433
>>25926431
>>25926428
You fucking bet your sweet Aunt Marie's finest tea cozy you've jerked in that you better roll. But you rolled, and rolled well.

You cough, clear your throat, lean in to the microphone, and whisper, "Frosted butts."

Silence. The boy stares off, as if hearing his ancestors, and his ancestors before him, standing at the edges of the great water, that wonderful, gushing, torrent that spans life and death that is the river Styx calling out to him, asking him to remember the summers and the winters when all was new, when a boy could run not to look shapely or to impress, but just out of the joy of having a limb of pushing against the Earth, to see the blue of green and brown and wonder, a joy only hampered by skinned knees that could be solved by beautiful and kind and unjudging mothers, and needn't fear scorn or stares to simply be, oh, what a strange moment that was, and how familiar, a home that would always be warm and always welcome him, that home beyond the horizon that all you need but do is go home to.

He looks again at the camera, knowing he has a brother in the long and the cold and the dark.

"It'll be done in two hours and posted immediately."

Good boy. Now you can jerk it to something other than German scat dungeon puppet porn, that shit was on the edge of getting boring. You check your watch. And hey, you can claim overtime for hitting him with a missile! Score.

You don't hear Marc to your right. This is bad. Usually, Marc's nasal cavities are a veritable concert of fuck, a god awful percussion section of phlegm, snot, and gasps for air in a life ill spent at Taco Bell. Despite your sacrifices to Pan at the monthly Morale Boosting Picnic, none of these bowel churning respatory difficulties had coalesced in to Marc's death. Silence was suspicious.

>[ ] Go to the boss. Fat fucker's snitching prolly.
>[ ] Go to the break room. He's probably nabbing the donuts first.
>[ ] Have a quick jerk.
>[ ] Viva!
>>
>>25926613
[X] Go to the break room. He's probably nabbing the donuts first.

Fuck his donuts.
>>
>>25926613
[X] Go to the break room. He's probably nabbing the donuts first
>>
>>25926613
>>[ ] Have a quick jerk.
> implying that there is a lenghty one.
Do it.
>>
>>25926613
[X] Go to the break room. He's probably nabbing the donuts first.

I fucking hate Marc. There better be some Frosted Chocolate Donuts left or my god I will smack that hoe.
>>
>>25926671
The only thing that gets tubsy rolling is the slow assisted suicide that is high fructose corn syrup. Like Hell you'll let that fucker have a moment of happiness. You stand up from your computer and endure the surprised spark from your orbiting Stingray drone, and start sprinting for the break room.

Yep. Margaret, that friendless, near blind, spinster that works the front desk and is living proof that Medicare should be erased from the books has, yet again, attempted to fill the hole her unloving grandchildren have left behind, and bought donuts.

Marc Fatony already has a paper plate loaded with three donuts. Fucking THREE. A glazed, a chocolate frosted, and a glazed with sprinklers. Worse than Hitler.

Marc swings a head towards you, and scowls at your presence- you note to your satisfaction he still hasn't picked all of the sticky notes out of his mustache, "What the fuck do you want now, Pete?" He did not just call you Pete, "I'm gonna go to HR if you keep this shit up."

>[ ] Slap that plate like you're Charles Barkley and he's fat fucking Marc.
>[ ] Make fun of his weight.
>[ ] Tell him it'll all be over when he legally changes his name to 'Mark' like God and George Washington intended.
>[ ] Don't be creative.
>>
>>25926821
>[ ] Slap that plate like you're Charles Barkley and he's fat fucking Marc.

Come on and slam, Marc.
>>
>>25926821
[X] Slap that plate like you're Charles Barkley and he's fat fucking Marc.

First, steal the chocolate frosted donut from his plate, then slap it upwards into his face. Say it was for national security.
>>
>>25926821
>[x] Slap that plate like you're Charles Barkley and he's fat fucking Marc.
Remember to grab one first.
>>
>>25926840
>>25926843
>>25926852
Roll that shit yo. 1dsome number, I'll pick the best of three.
>>
Rolled 14

>>25926862
d20 yo
>>
Rolled 16

>>25926862
>>
>>25926821
>glazed with sprinklers
>sprinklers
>>
Rolled 17

>>25926862
1 d fucking 20 yo.
>>
Rolled 19

>>25926891
>>25926878
>>25926874
THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.

The lone bright point in Marc's life is imagining losing his foot to diabetes, so he's gonna contest this.
>>
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>>25926907
Aw DAMN.

Marc, true to your expectations is a low down nefarious cock pirate. You approach, your face a mask of innocence, truly a modern day Trojan Horse in your level of rusedom, but Marc must have gotten through the child proof locks on his pill bottles again, cause he's faster than the motherfuckin' flash, and dodges your feeble attempt to slap his shit. He twirls away like a god damn elfin ballerina, and if you're car's trunk on a Friday is anything to go by, you fucking hate elfin ballerinas.

"Fuck you Petey," Now he's getting usurious, "I ain't feelin' like sharin'!" He smiles, and bites deep in to the sprinkler covered donut, the noise of crunching ceramics and squealing metal reaching your ears.

"Peter!" Ahhhh shit, it's Mr. Jenkins. This lucky fuck. You see his bald head peeking around the break room door, "Can you meet me in my office?"

Marc Fuckerberg smiles at you through his mountain of confectionery. He thinks he's won.

>[ ] FUCK DA MAN, we settling this shit, this is a matter of honor like a pair of Mongols on the steppe.
>[ ] Go with Mr. Jenkins. You can just tell your boss that Marc has CP or something.
>[ ] Take the rest of the donuts and goooo.
>[ ] Adriatic sea.
>>
>>25927012
>>[ ] Go with Mr. Jenkins. You can just tell your boss that Marc has CP or something.
>>
>>25927012
>>[x] Go with Mr. Jenkins. You can just tell your boss that Marc has CP or something.

Didn't we already put CP on his computer?
>>
>>25927049
Probably. Or at least we can later and backdate it.
>>
>>25927012
>[] Go with Mr. Jenkins.
"This ain't over yet, tubbo. There better be a chocolate frosted donut left when I come back, or I swear to God I plant my foot knee-deep in your ass. You fat fuck."
>>
>>25927049
>>25927030
You're pretty sure that there's a 1 in 3 chance that you've put CP on his computer judging by your activities that you can remember between the amphetamines and crushing shame. You give a final middle finger to Marc, and then follow Mr. Jenkins. Marc licks a donut saucily in response. That isn't even a fucking response Marc, what the fuck.

Mr. Jenkins office is one of those stupidly fancy affairs, actually being situated in the Mariana Trench due to what you assume is either wizardry or remarkably poor planning.

"Peter, I've gotten some worrying reports-"
"Yeah, Mr. Jenkins, before you do anything else, I just wanted to tell you Marc has some probably got at least a terabyte, maybe two, of the Captain Picard, no Jean-Luc if ya know what I mean," holy shit you are good at innuendo, "On his computer."
Mr. Jenkins frowns, "His work computer?"
"Every computer."
"I see," Mr. Jenkins drums his fingers on his desk, "Well, good to know Peter. But, I'm far more concerned about...This," he lays down on the desk volume one of Oh No I Poop From There Sensei~.

In the shadow of the utter darkness that Goblin Sharks thrive in, it casts a deeper shadow. On your heart.

>[ ] I know, I actually got down from telling the translator to hurry up, it's cool man.
>[ ] I'm sorry, I didn't know that I had moved to fucking RED CHINA recently.
>[ ] Oh, that's just the thing that Marc was trying to show me.
>[ ] How the fuck do you have an office in the Marianas Trench? Actually, is it Mariana, or Marianas? I'm not good with the mexispeak.
>>
>>25927208
>[ ] Oh, that's just the thing that Marc was trying to show me.
Marc is the worst.
>>
>>25927208
[X] Oh, that's just the thing that Marc was trying to show me.
>>
>>25927208
>[x] I know, I actually got down from telling the translator to hurry up, it's cool man.
>>
Marc gave it to me cause he was bored of it.
>>
>>25927208
>[ ] I know, I actually got down from telling the translator to hurry up, it's cool man.

He's an understanding man.
>>
>>25927208
>[ ] I'm sorry, I didn't know that I had moved to fucking RED CHINA recently.
This is America the land of the free, you don't like it go to Russia.
>>
Shit twizzlers, I guess there were three mentions of Marc, we're going with Marc that fat fuck bastard that spells his name wrong. Writing.
>>
[x] I know, I actually got down from telling the translator to hurry up, it's cool man.

I bet he's as depraved as we are
>>
>>25927208
>he has a physical volume
>>
>>25927208
[X] I know, I actually got down from telling the translator to hurry up, it's cool man.

It's a physical volume, why would he have that if he wasn't a fellow perv.
>>
>>25927317
Too late man, Marc's getting a promotion, while we'll be getting a PROMOTION!
>>
>>25927244
>>25927228
>>25927223
"Oh yeah," You hurriedly master subterfuge, "That's more of Marc's thing man, I am not involved in that shit at all."

Mr. Jenkins looks surprised, then disappointed, "Wait, really? I mean, uh, okay then Pete, just, just go back to work," Jenkins spins in his chair, and faces a wall for no good god damn reason, "And send Marc in here. I gotta...Deal with him."

Shit you hate working working at the NSA. You never know if it's a good thing when the ellipses come out to play.

Still...There's a fucking actual paperback volume of Oh No I Poop From There Sensei~ right in front of you. You're pretty sure the desk has a pressure sensor on it, but you're pretty sure that the baggy of heroin in your stomach is ABOUT the same weight as a manga volume. You'll be just like Indiana Jones, just with more bulimia.

>[ ] Temple of Doom was better anyway. Let's go tell Marc to go in to Mr. Jenkins' office without any of this switching shit.
>[ ] Who the fuck would honestly say Temple of Doom is better than Raiders of the Lost Ark. What kind of fucked in the head retard could say that. Nab that shit, and then send Marc here to be cut in Twain...Eh, that one sucked.
>[ ] "Actually..." And then slap down Umineko-Sempai's limited edition run of yellow stained pantsu you managed to snipe off eBay.
>[ ] Y'know what movie was underrated? Strange Days. That shit was boss.
>>
>[X] "Actually..." And then slap down Umineko-Sempai's limited edition run of yellow stained pantsu you managed to snipe off eBay.
>>
>>25927371
>[ ] Wax about Strange Days, distract the boss and swipe the tankobon off his desk (that's porn mag for Japanese)
>>
>>25927371
>[ ] "Actually..." And then slap down Umineko-Sempai's limited edition run of yellow stained pantsu you managed to snipe off eBay.

I knew it!
>>
>>25927371
>[ ] "Actually..." And then slap down Umineko-Sempai's limited edition run of yellow stained pantsu you managed to snipe off eBay.
Bring out the ellipses of our own.
>>
>>25927371
[X] "Actually..." And then slap down Umineko-Sempai's limited edition run of yellow stained pantsu you managed to snipe off eBay.
>>
>>25927208
>I know, I actually got down from telling the translator to hurry up, it's cool man.
>>
>>25927392
>>25927413
>>25927418
>>25927420
You're running with the big dogs now, but little did they know that you had those fucking shoes with the wheel in the heel that you can slide on.

"Actually..."
"You don't have to say 'dot dot dot' when you do an ellipses Peter, you just let the word hang natura-" Whap.

Mr. Jenkins turns, and then his eyes widen when the characteristic black white dragon designed pantsu of Umineko-sempai's, with yellow stain in the middle carefully crafted by only the finest fuckheaded coprophiliac japs. A discreet number 3 was on the inside.

Mr. Jenkins stares, wide mouthed, and slowly, with shaking hand, reaches in to his desk and lights a cigarette in shock and horror.

"My God...Stage 3 has already begun."

>[ ] While he's stunned, grab dem Tanuki Buns and get going!
>[ ] Politely vomit your heroin to soothe him.
>[ ] "Okay, that time, you said 'dot dot dot' too, so don't bitch at me for doing it."
>[ ] Beach episode!

>>25927459
TIME PARADOX, JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME STOPS YOU.
>>
>>25927507
>Politely vomit your heroin to soothe him.

But remember to do it politely. This is our boss, after all.
>>
>>25927507
>[ ] Beach episode!
We can play that weird fucken watermelon smashing game.

then we can wail on Marc while pretending to be blindfoled
>>
>>25927507
>Politely vomit your heroin to soothe him.

OP, I'm going to have to ask you to provide payment for a new pair of sides
>>
>>25927507
>[ ] Beach episode!
You ain't sharing your donuts with fuckhead Marc, and you're sure as hell not going to share your lunch heroin with your boss.
>>
>>25927507
>[x] Beach episode!
>>
>>25927551
>>25927533
>>25927525
You get the feeling that this is gonna be boring, so you do that thing where you put the heel of you hand on your right temple and set your jaw juuuuuust so, so that the brain tumor that's slowly killing you causes you to black out after only a few seconds of agonizing pain and crippling existential damage.

When you come to, you're underneath an umbrella sitting on a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles towel with a bloody mary in one hand, a squirming Portuguese man o' war in the other. The only thing you can find combing your mind for the reasons for this is that 'You wanted to be like Conan.' You're still in your shitty office clothes and sweating up a storm, and probably paralyzed on your left side from stings, but that doesn't matter right now as a beauty is coming out of waves toward you.

"Peter Filochannnn!" She didn't really say that, but she was jogging through the waves and waving at you, and really, you don't care what she's actually saying at this point, it's a god damn beach episode, she's roughly twenty years old, cute, and in a swimsuit.

Not everything in the NSA is hard work, cubicle wars, and stealing donuts. A collection of young studs like this have to oh fuck the fucking chocolate covered donuts, that god damn fat fuck Marc where is he.

>[ ] Ours is the vengeance, so sayeth the Lord, and we? We're the fucking LORD here. Find Marco and fuck him with a polo. That sounded better in my head.
>[ ] Y'know, not all the blood should be going in to our wounded cerebellum, let's see if we can remember who this chick is.
>[ ] Bird in the hand's worth two in the bush. Let's use this Man O' War to sate our terrible urges.
>[ ] Where the fuck did our pantsu go.
>>
>>25927670
>>[ ] Bird in the hand's worth two in the bush. Let's use this Man O' War to sate our terrible urges.
>>
>>25927670
>[ ] Bird in the hand's worth two in the bush. Let's use this Man O' War to sate our terrible urges.
A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
>>
>[ ] Where the fuck did our pantsu go.

That shit's more important than our life
>>
>>25927704
>>25927707
Roll on, sweet chariots.
>>
Rolled 14

>>25927744
Gettin' some of dat sweet, sweet jelly
>>
Rolled 73

>>25927744
Portuguese man o' war isn't a single animal, but a colony!
>>
Rolled 14

>>25927670
Time of bliss is upon us.
>>
Rolled 8

>>25927670
>>[X] Ours is the vengeance, so sayeth the Lord, and we? We're the fucking LORD here. Find Marco and fuck him with a polo. That sounded better in my head.
>>
>>25927670
[ ] Bird in the hand's worth two in the bush. Let's use this Man O' War to sate our terrible urges.
>>
>>25927760
>>25927778
>>25927809
You turn your gaze to your rheumy, sticky, numbing friend/opponent in your left hand. Let this be our final battle.

AGH FUCK JESUS COCKING MINNESOTA This is worse than that time you tried to play Bible Black and watch Trading Places at the same time. But it was worth it for that magnum opus of yours, "Changing Cocks" which answered the question of what Eddie Murphy would do with the Black Bible. God, you were the talk of alt.fan.dix.why for at least a week. Truly, all your life has been down hill from there.

But back to this. Long has man feared the tentacle monster, despite the fact that it's not real. Huddled about the weak light of their monitors, they have whispered to one another of their prowess, their savagery, their mercilessness. But you are no ordinary man. You are Peter File, and you are pretty sure that baggy of heroin broke inside of you some time in the past hour, god damn it Rodrigo, I will fucking end you for your lack of precautions. Astride the mighty hellbeast, through the terrible and dreadful pain, as you plunged your mighty four inches within its squamous, stinging whole, you realized something: The Portuguese isn't actually a jellyfish, a single animal. It is a a group. A beautiful cooperation. Many animals coming together to cooperate, to survive, to prosper, to sting. And you're fucking it. You're raping an entire COMMUNITY. God bless America.

With one final thrust, you swear you can hear something squeal beneath you- victory. You have brought fear to the tentacle monsters...But at what cost? You fall over, paralyzed, on the beach. You're not sure of the legality, but you're probably a sex offender. Which is bullshit. They'd find this on the internet anyway.

>[ ] Glurg.
>[ ] Hurf.
>[ ] Fizzzzzz.
>>
>>25927898

[X] Fizzzzzz.
>>
>>25927898
>[ ] Glurg Hurf
>>
>>25927898
[X] Fizzzzzz.
>>
>>25927942
>>25927917
Just wanna be clear on this here, you're sure you want to Fizzzzzz? This is a very important decision and could mean the difference between the life and death of Peter File here, because this is a hard core, DANGEROUS quest, and I will totally kill you if you don't have at least 30 posts discussing this shit.
>>
I really hope this gets archived.
>>
>>25927955

I... I don't think I've been as sure of anything in my life.
>>
>>25927955

OP, you rock. Just sayin'.
>>
>>25927955
I want to Fizz the shit out of it. I'd gladly give my life to Fizzzzzz if I was his position.
>>
>>25927955
>implying i'm not the fizz that will fizzzzzz the heavens
>>
>>25927955
Definately fizzzzzz.
Glurg has its pros, but ultimately they are outweighed by its massive shortcomings.
Hurf is just crazy. I don't even know why you listed that.
>>
"Fizzzzzz."

The last word is like an exclamation mark on your entire life. You roll on the hot sand, unable to even make it to your comforters, those secret guardians, your last line of defense, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, eternally embroidered on your blanket. Everything hurts. Everything. Your penis wilts, like your life, a slowly falling tower, covered in venom, welts, and distraught pneumatophores. How poetic. You tried so hard, yet in the end, it didn't even matter.

You shut your eyes. Try to fight the tears. Thinking of that one chick out at the ocean. You look away, hating to imagine the despair on her face. You blot out the noise of her retching and vomiting, and think back to all the other potential waifus in your life. Margaret, the christmas cake. A fax machine. And Portuguese Man o' War-chan- ah, how tragic that your love cost her her life. This is like MamixSpikexKaminax100. Truly, deep. You mentally start singing "Real Human Being" by College to yourself.

You open your eyes, even as they swell from the stings and your over active allergies. Blue. What a beautiful blue. You will miss the sky. You raise a hand up to the sign just like the Watamote OP. Such is life in the NSA.

Wait a fucking minute. Curry should have posted the translation of the latest chapter of Oh No I Poop From There Sensei~ by now. Fucktaculous. This fucking sucks.

>[ ] Burble something about an epinephrine, hope crowd come and help.
>[ ] Fuck that shit. Crawl! CRAWL WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!
>[ ] Try to ride the hallucinations to finally get that tulpa shit you hear the hep cats are getting with these days.
>[ ] Mr. Jenkins knows about it. It's too mainstream now. Just fucking die.
>>
>>25928098
>[ ] Burble something about an epinephrine, hope crowd come and help.
>>
Rolled 9

>>25928098
>>[X] Try to ride the hallucinations to finally get that tulpa shit you hear the hep cats are getting with these days.
>>
>>25928098

>[X] Fuck that shit. Crawl! CRAWL WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MUST DO.
>>
>>25928098
>>[X] Try to ride the hallucinations to finally get that tulpa shit you hear the hep cats are getting with these days.
>>
>>25928098
>[x] Mr. Jenkins knows about it. It's too mainstream now. Just fucking die.

Gotta make it even. Now I'm going to bed.

IT'S A CLIFFHANGER, you should all be sappy and whine about missing it in the daily QTG. I'M OUT.
>>
>>25928098
>[ ] Mr. Jenkins knows about it. It's too mainstream now. Just fucking die.

I only fap to dead people... wait.
>>
>[x] Fuck that shit. Crawl! CRAWL WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!
>>
>>25928193
Awww you cockfucker.

For defeating me, I grant you this thread, and my tripcode Dicks#Twenty
>>
Testing this shit.
>>
>>25928206
Will you be back? This is great, and I don't want it to stop.
>>
>>25928215
It's up to you now son. It's a great burden, like Atlas. But you must do it.
>>
>>25928206

This quest was fucking incredible. Godspeed, OP.
>>
>>25928223
I'm sorry anon. It has to stop. Remember the good times. Like when we threw shit at Marc. Or when we fucked that Portuguese Man of War. But all things have to end anon.

Except for Magical Girl Noir Quest. That shit will go until the sun fucking implodes.
>>
Needs screencap, archive, anything
>>
>>25928271
Too bad we'll never get the next issue of Oh No I Poop From There Sensei~.

Good show, OP, good show.
>>
>>25928331
It doesn't have to end like this.

Someone else can pick up the torch.

Reference to Protomen.
>>
File: 1373452498105.jpg-(35 KB, 500x350, internet.jpg)
35 KB
35 KB JPG
OP...

You are a man of legend.

Your quest has filled me with purpose.

Thank you. Have an internets.
>>
Somebody find and/or write me a Trading Places/Bible Black fanfiction.
>>
submitted to archives http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=nsa+quest
>>
>>25929585
good man


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