The best time of the week has finally come.

>>25919040
>causing you to realize how you really felt about her and reciprocating her feelings for you.

No offense Merc, but this sounds unbelievably cheesy.

You have a nice 4th of July, Merc?

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>>25919040
Anyways, I had a real great 4th of July weekend, and some bros of mine also commissioned some VMQ fanart as well! It's only Sam and Tarin stuff, but it's still something, right?

There's 4 total so I'll start off posting those first before getting back to the quest proper.

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>>25919089
Heh, it does, doesn't it? Can't get too wordy due to wordcount.

>>25919108
2/4

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>>25919133
3/4

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>>25919154
4/4

Okay, story post coming up soon!

>>25919133
Oh god, Sam is HNNNNGGGGG tier.

>>25919040
SIX DAYS, MC
SIX
DAAAAAAAYS

They're all so good, damn. Makes me glad I caught up and can participate for the first time!

Out of them all, I like this the best.

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>>25919133

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>>25919133
2adorable
Imagine her face when Jager said yes

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>>25919298
Maximum cuteness.

>>25919133
Hmm, she seems taller than I imagined. I always had this picture in my head that Sam was way short for her age considering how often Jager just effortlessly picks her up like some kid.

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>>25919171
>>25919154
>>25919133
>>25919108

>dose art pieces

Have a fun time at Anime Expo, did we, Merc?

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>SW89, VMQ, GuPQ on the same evening
>Wanamote was actually pretty good
>LWA 2 kickstarter killed it
As the great warrior poet Ice Cube once said: "If the day does not require an AK...it is good"

>>25919398
Could just be that Jager's built like a truck.

>>25919398

Obviously, JAGER STURMFUHRER is just that damn tall.

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You wake up, feeling oddly refreshed, as if this was the first time in a long time you've gotten a decent night's sleep. However, this feeling seems to clash with the fact that you're currently sitting in the middle of a military police lockup with Sam and a few other Demons.

You're honestly not sure how you ended up in this situation, and you're pretty sure you don't want to. The other Demons seem to still be passed out in their alcohol-induced stupor, so asking them for clarification seems out of the question.

Well, at least snuggled up against your shoulder, snoring softly.

>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.
>Try and disengage from her and call in a guard to figure out what's going on.
>Just enjoy the moment.
>Other

>>25919431
I just realized we don't have a picture of him yet.
This needs fixing.

>>25919413

The only thing missing now is Ghost Quest.

WHY ADJUTANT, WHHHYYYYYYYY?!

>>25919455
>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.
Oh, what the hell did we do.

>>25919455
You forgot "Sam" there Merc.

But
>Just enjoy the moment

>>25919455
>>Just enjoy the moment.
More along the lines of let everyone enjoy their non-hangover state as long as possible.

>>25919455
Waking her up seems dickish, but I honestly want to know what's going on.

>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.


...oh god, her father found out, didn't he.

>>25919455
>>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.

...Well. this was not how I expected to begin the day.

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>>25919455
>>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.
Oh what the hell...

>>25919455

>Just enjoy the moment.

>>25919455
>Just enjoy the moment.
followed by
>Try and disengage from her and call in a guard to figure out what's going on.

>>25919455

>Just enjoy the moment.

What better way to top of a night of hard partying than burning off a hangover in some dingy jail cell?

>>25919455
>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.

We did tell her to stop drinking, she might remember something.

>>25919455
>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.

Poke her in the cheek until she wakes up. Longs going... "Hey. Hey. Listen." Over and over again.

>>25919455
>>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.

>>25919462
I know how you feel, man. I miss her, too.

>>25919455
>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.

>>25919455
>>Just enjoy the moment.

Might as well enjoy it that and waiting for her to wake up would be better than forcibly doing it.

>>25919455
As much as you want to, you still feel a bit reluctant about waking up Sam. She smile on her face seems to indicate that she's either having a really good dream, or that she's just really enjoying the moment.

You take a deep breath and start poking her in the cheek.

"Hey. Hey Sam. Sam. Hey Sam."

>roll 1d20

Rolled 1

>>25919634

Rolled 20

>>25919634
Wakey wakey

Rolled 1

>>25919634

Poke poke poke!

Rolled 6

>>25919634

Rolled 16

>>25919634

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
Son of a bitch.

>>25919645
>>25919642
>>25919651

Well this is awkward

>>25919642
>>25919645
And we're off to a roaring start.

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
EPIC FAIL! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!

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>>25919642
>>25919645

...This totally isn't ominous at all.

>>25919642
>>25919651
You fuckers ruined my roll.
>>25919645

Rolled 20

>>25919634

HUE

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
TWO CRITFAILS

AND A TWENTY

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
What the fuck?

>>25919455
>Wake her up and get her opinion on your current predicament.

WHOOOOO VMQ PARTYYYY

"Saaaaaam how drunk did I get last night"

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>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
hello /tg/ dice

What just happen...

>>25919665
I hope she isn't suffering a violent hangover.

>>25919668

Are you shitting me?

Rolled 5

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651

Not a morning person.

Not a morning person, at all.

Rolled 1

>>25919645
>>25919642
>>25919651

Wow...did we just falcon punch her by accident or something? Or did we horribly fail at waking her up?

Either way, I think I'll stop rolling...that second 1 was me...

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
So, either Sam punches us when she wakes up or we actually got imprisoned for something serious.

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>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
Wow

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>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
I don't...

>>25919688
BASTARD

Rolled 11

>>25919688

YEP. STOP ROLLING

>>25919688

Oh god, stop it dice!

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>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
>>25919668
>>25919688

>>25919688
>YOU HAVE FAILED THE DICE GODS' TEST

>>25919688
>1
Yeah. Yeah. You're done for the night.

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651

Right back into it hey Merc com?

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
Ane we're banned from Randgriz everyone.
Banned from Randgriz just for havin' a little fun.

>>25919642
>>25919651
>>25919645

Amazing, simply amazing

>>25919642
>>25919645
>>25919651
And there goes our chance to be adorable.

>>25919716
>get free drinks
>abuse free drinks
>lose free drinks
Jager Sturmfuhrer doesn't have an off button

If we just enjoyed the moment this wouldn't have happened.

RE ROLL!

Rolled 12

>>25919724

>The rest of the demons wake up to the quarrel and start yelling at them to get a room before going back to bed

What I've learned from this roll is that Sam is very, very, /very/ heavy sleeper. It would take twelve 125mm guns going off to wake her. Maybe.

>>25919716
We spent a jolly shore leave there
For just three days or four,
But Randgriz doesn't want us anymore..

So I know critfails cancel out our highest rolls but as far as I've seen crit successes just work. So what exactly happened here? Did we get a critfail for our double 1s or did we get a crit success with some terrible consequences attached to it? I have no idea what is going on.

>>25919729
You noticed that your assortment of article of clothing on your person is quite lacking

Rolled 10

>>25919750

Your GuPQ is leaking, anon.

>>25919772
But I'm not even in that quest...

I suppose it's a good thing dice rolls aren't required for going to the bathroom as such a massive critfail would result in a golden (shower) disaster.

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So let's take bets: who is in trouble for what?

Ramirez? Accidentally burning down a tavern
Alek and Elsa? Public indecency
Heloise? Vandalism
Elizabeth? Also public indecency

>>25919754
The first 1 cancelled our 20, so we're left with...another 1.

Critfail. The worst one yet.

>>25919798
>Elizabeth? Also public indecency
Nah, impersonating a maid is a felony here.

>>25919798
You forgot Tarin Shanking someone.

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>>25919634
>Hahaha, oh wow. Well, if you're going to critfail, you might as well do it on a low-risk action, right?

You see Sam frown as you poke her in the cheek, and what comes next, you honestly didn't see coming. You're not sure if she purposely did it or if it was some weird, subconscious reflex, but without missing a beat Sam's fist swings out and socks you right in the face, already adding on to the bruises and scrapes and aches you've already picked up.

And considering she's a lancer, her punches hit stupidly hard. Your vision explodes in stars and suddenly goes black.

You're not sure how much time has passed when you regain consciousness, but Sam is now awake and stretching, as if she had just woken up as well.

"Oh, morning, Cap." Sam smiles, kissing you on the forehead. "Looks like, we uh, got in some trouble again. Oh man, and it looks like you got a nasty hit, too."

>Yeah... thanks for that.
>Do you remember anything?
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?
>Other

>>25919798
let's just go for all of the above and call it a day

>>25919819
>>Yeah... thanks for that.

>>25919819
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?
>Do you remember anything?

>>25919819
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?

>>25919819
>Other
"...Yes. Yes I did."

>>25919819
Lol, called getting punched in the face.

>Do you remember anything?

>>25919819
>Yeah... thanks for that.
>Do you remember anything?

Could have gone worse. At least those ones only got us punched out.

>>25919798

Ramirez: Doing Everything and everyone. When he was arrested, he was screwing the concrete.

>>25919819
>>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?
>>Do you remember anything?

>>25919819
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?'
>Do you remember anything?

>>25919819

>Do you remember anything?

Best to start the damage control for this mess right now.

>>25919819
>Do you remember anything?
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?

>>25919819
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?
>Do you remember anything?

>>25919819
>Do you remember anything?

god, this is gonna be VMQ: The Hangover Edition isn't it?

>>25919819
>Yeah... thanks for that.
>Do you remember anything?

Okay... ouch.

>>25919819
>Other
>"Your reflexes are as sharp as ever, Sam."
>Do you remember anything?

>>25919819
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?
Followed by
>Do you remember anything?

>>25919819

>Yeah... thanks for that.
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?

>>25919819
>Yeah... thanks for that.

>>25919865
I second this

>>25919798
Heloise outdrank seven Gallian Regulars and a demolition crew, then the lot of them managed to get General Wellings' staff car up on the palace roof.
Elizabeth snuck into the local telegraph center and sent obscene telegraphs to the entire city.
>>25919819
>Yeah... thanks for that.

>>25919863
....

Sooo... who's missing? And we should check the roof first.

the lesson so far? Sam is cute and is like a bear when trying to wake her up. That and she packs a mean punch.

>>25919896
WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A GIANT WINGED PIG IN MY BATHROOM?

RAMIREZ, WHOSE BABY IS THAT?

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>>25919863

You say that like it's a bad thing!

>>25919924

Could have been worse.

She could be the type that sexually assaults in the morning.

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>>25919942
You say that like it's a bad thing...

>>25919942
>She could be the type that sexually assaults in the morning.
And you say that like it's a bad thing...

>>25919942
The morning isn't over yet... At least I don't think it is. Hard to tell from inside a cell.

>>25919863
>>25919896
>>25919937
>>25919940
>>25919959
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q7zlduNx0Q

>>25919959
>>25919961

Not in a cell with the other demons inside.

>>25919942
I find it funny considering how it's Mr. "Punches out knights" getting knocked out by his cute girlfriend.

>>25919978
The ending... every time. I love it.

>>25920016

And he drinks 'she who drinks regiments under the table' into oblivion.

Karma.

>>25920016
I had not even considered that.
It just adds another level of hilarity to it.

>>25920029
It's more Irony than Karma. But yeah.

>>25919819
>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?

>>25919819
>>It still stings a bit. Maybe you could heal it with a kiss...?
Yes, this will work perfectly!

>>25920016
His cute girlfriend who blows up tanks for a living.

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>>25919819
"Well, it still stings a bit." You say, rubbing the bruise. "Maybe you could heal it up with a kiss...?"

"And you think I act like a kid." Sam laughs before leaning forward and kissing you on the cheek as well.

"Heh, thanks." You grin stupidly. Honestly, you don't have the heart to tell her about the true source of that injury. Plus, your pride as man was also against it. "Anyways, if you haven't noticed, we're in an MP lockup right now. Any idea how we got in here...?"

"Uh, well." Sam frowns, trying to recall what happened last night as well. "It's a bit fuzzy for me, but I think it involved a tank and lots of collateral damage."

"Yeah, that sounds about right." You nod.

"Been enjoying yourselves, have you?" You hear a very formal and very familiar voice speak out from behind you. You spin around and instinctively salute General Wellings.

"Um, I think I can explain things, sir." You say.

"No need." General Wellings opens up a file and puts his reading glasses on. "According to eyewitness testimony last night, you stole Gilbert Gassenarl's personal tank, took it on a joyride through all of Randgriz, knocked down a statue of Baldren Gassenarl, tied it to the tank, set it on fire, and drove it off a cliff. Theft and destruction of military and civilian property are the least of the charges against you."

>So, are we getting medals?
>The MPs can overlook this, right?
>We're screwed, aren't we?
>Other

>>25920291
>>Other
So another day in the Demons then.

>>25920291
>>The MPs can overlook this, right?

>>25920291
>So, are we getting medals?
Too good to pass up

>>25920291
>Other
"What, we only did damage to Gassenarl stuff? Sam? High five!"

>>25920291
>We're screwed, aren't we?
sass the enemy, be honest with our allies.

>>25920291
>So, are we getting medals?

>>25920291
>Other
"We can explain. We did it... For justice."
>So, are we getting medals?

>>25920291
>So, are we getting medals?

Another successful operation.

>>25920291
>Other
"I vaguely remember something about motorcycle jousting. Or was that a dream?"

>>25920291
>Other

"Is that all? Phew, you had me worried for a bit there"

>>25920291
>So, are we getting medals?
(Beat)
>We're screwed, aren't we?

>>25920291
>So, are we getting medals?

>>25920291
>So, are we getting medals?

>>25920291
>Qybert can give you schematics to superior tanks if you fund him, and weren't you planning on destroying the statue one way or the other anyway?

>>25920291
Out of character, isn't Gassernarl the guy who's leading the GRA? If so:

>Isn't that the kind of thing we get medals for?

as much as I want to say "morning dad" I don't think it's the time

>>25920322
This. Fuck Gassernarl.

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>>25920291
>"Theft and destruction of military and civilian property are the least of the charges against you."

OH SHIT. BRACE FOR MAD FUTURE DAD-IN-LAW.

>>25920371
Gilbert led the GRA initially, but later died and Baldren took the reigns.

>>25920291
>>So, are we getting medals?
Shit, go for cheek if we are that fucked.

>>25920291
>So, are we getting medals?

Let the silence build for a bit...

>We're screwed, aren't we?

>>25920402
Change my vote to this.

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>>25920371
>Gilbert Gassenarl
yep

and he looks like this

looks like our next mission is pro bono

>>25920391

Yes, because the greater charge is stealing his precious daughter.

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>>25920424
I'm hoping we have to go hunting with him. Chance to break out dad's old rifle.

>>25920418
I have to admit, that mustache is outrageous.

>>25920424
We didn't steal her, we stole her heart.

We should ask Sam if she feels okay, like if she feels like she's about to throw up, and not from the alcohol.

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>>25920453

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>>25920489

>>25920489
is this supposed to be a morning sickness joke? If so...I have no sides but I must laugh

>>25920489
I don't think MC would pull THAT on us after dating her for one day. At least not without critfailing something for it.

>>25920512
we critfailed so hard, that Sam impregnated Jager when she punched him

>>25920489
>>25920508

Infront of the dad, to boot.

>>25920291
"So, we're getting medals, right?" You say jokingly, though the General just gives you a look that makes you want to wince. "We're screwed, aren't we?"

"Hardly." The General gives you a sly grin. "That particular tank was not yet formally captured by the Gallian army, meaning TECHNICALLY it was still GRA property, meaning you were still technically doing your jobs."

"Um, thanks?" You blink. "Do you really like us that much?"

"Oh no, if it were up to me, I'd let you stew in here for another week. But then I'd have an angry mob on my hands if I formally punished you for this." The General sighs. "You're only in here for the standard 24 hour holding period, which expired twenty minutes ago. You're all free to go."

"Hey, cool." You turn around. "Sam, let's get the rest of these losers awake and moving, and see if we can find some decent coffee."

"Sure thing, Cap!" Sam smiles.

"Is there... something different between you two?" General Wellings asks, frowning, trying to figure out what was bothering him.

>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.
>Nope, it's totally your imagination.
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?
>Other

>>25920536
Anon that's dumb stop that.

>>25920496
What the hell is he wearing? Sunglasses with 19th-century esque uniform?!

>>25920559
>>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

>>25920559
>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.

>>25920559
>>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.
And then we walk out no fucks given.

>>25920569
no fucking clue
>>25920559
merc do we own that tank?! spoils of war and all that

>>25920569
Yeah I think he and his family are made partially in line with the three main Zabis, though Audrey is the exception (no mask and doesn't care about her own father dying really)

>>25920559
>>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?
Audible gulp.

>>25920559

>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.

BRING THE HUE

>>25920559
>>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?
OH HEY FAMILY STUFF BYE.

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

Let her deliver the good news. If she wants to.

>>25920559
>>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?
The Dad joke is always fun, but this is more fun.

>>25920559
>>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.
too good to pass up

>>25920559
>>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

Lets not push our luck.

>>25920559
We were passed out for 24 hours? One helluva bender

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

>>25920603
We drove the tank off a cliff

>>25920559
>>Other
"General, while I regret the circumstances for the announcement, I am currently courting your daughter. I plan on taking exceedingly good care of her, and will continue whether or not you consent."

>>25920559

>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

Use daddy's little warrior princess to save our hide.

>>25920603

the tank is gone Jim!

>>25920559
>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.

>>25920647
Damn it jim I'm a Doctor, not a mechanic.

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

Sam? SAAAAAM? THIS ISN'T SOMETHING I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH!

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?
We're on thin ice with this guy already.

>>25920559
This: >>25920642

>>25920559
>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.
time to push our luck

>>25920672
Pretty true actually. His last and only romantic endeavor before this was politically arranged. Breaking the news to parents doesn't really come up when it was their idea in the first place.

>>25920559
>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

>>25920603
>Wanting to own a Gallian Tank

what is wrong with you?

>>25920559

>Hey Sam! Your opinion on this?

Huddle and pray.

>>25920750
>not wanting a tank like the Edelweiss

>>25920750
I'm pretty sure the Type-36B Medium Tank is one...

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>>25920559

>Oh, nothing to worry about, Dad.

Maybe intentional slip of the tongue, go!

>>25920811
Since the main conflict, Gallian tanks have seemed to improved since VC1's era though they'd need some customizing if they're to go up against Imperial stuff head on.

>>25920811
it's a prototype custom fitted with some of the best imperial tech salvaged from the belkan commander tank

Gilbert's probably a piece of shit Gallian tank considering any decent work on a tank would be focused on the Narcissus

MERC
FIRST YOU RUIN MY SLEEPING PATTERN
THEN YOU RUIN MY DREAMS OF A HAPPY ENDING OF KARLA AND JAGER
BUT BY GOD I MISSED YOU AND VM QUEST

>>25920559
You insides freeze colder than ice. Deep down, you suspected that this would happen someday, but now that it's confronting you in the face, you honestly don't know how to deal with it. Before, all your prospective marriages and engagements were arranged by your parents, so there was no need to have to formally announce your relationships to the other family because everybody already knew everything. This was uncharted territory you were steaming into here, making you feel nervous.

"Hey Sam!" You yell a bit too loudly. "What's your opinion on this?!"

"Ah well..." Sam laughs awkwardly. She obviously still holds a healthy mix of respect and fear of her father. "MeandJageraretotallytogethernowandweloveeachotherverymuchandtheresnothingyoucandoaboutit!"

Well, shit.

"I see." General Wellings narrows his eyes and turns his gaze on you. "For your sake I hope you live up to her, and MY, expectations."

>Y-yes sir.
>You're damn right I will.
>Perform tactical withdrawal.
>Other

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>>25920917
>THEN YOU RUIN MY DREAMS OF A HAPPY ENDING OF KARLA AND JAGER

>>25920917
>still mourning the loss of a Jager/Karla end
>not hoping Sir Erik Schnee pulls up quick to get wit her

Haha! I just made it!

Hot damn, Merc Command, you've got ALL DA REFERENCES in this one.

You have fucking RAMIREZ, Signum, that ninja girl from Angel Beats, and I think you tried to sneak in fucking Nanoha.

You triple weeaboo you. One sec, horrible, horrible high impact Yelling Bird sexual violence coming.

ALSO

>>25920559
"It's nothing, Dad."

>>25920960

>Y-yes sir. /SNAP SALUTE

Revert to military training

>>25920960
>You're damn right I will.
>Perform tactical withdrawal.

>>25920960
>You're damn right I will.

>>25920960
>You're damn right I will.
"So, when do we go hunting?"

>>25920960
>SIR YES SIR!

>>25920960
>You're damn right I will.
WE ARE A COCKSURE MOTHER FUCKER AND WON'T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE. SHIT, WE PUNCHED OUT A FUCKING KNIGHT.

>>25920960
>Y-yes sir.
>You're damn right I will.

Rolled 6

>>25920960
>Perform tactical withdrawal.
Through the wall

>>25920887
Actually, the Gassenarls had some pretty beastly tanks.The GRA started using the Type-36 pretty widely, and the Gassenarls themselves had heavily customized versions, like Audrey's tank.

>>25920960

"YES DAD"

And then we snap a salute so damn fine Chesty Puller will descend from the heavens to fistbump us.

>>25920977
This. When all else fails, follow your training

>>25920960
>>You're damn right I will.

>>25920960
>You're damn right I will.

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>>25921005
Don't forget the Ghost Tanks.

>>25920997
...and then we just got clocked by our girlfriend.

>>25921032
WHO IS THE ONLY PERSON WE WILL TAKE SHIT FROM. BECAUSE WE WUV HER.

>>25920960
>Bounce

>>25921030
why would you not just put a casemate on the thing and vastly improve every aspect of it?

>>25921045

Bounce Sam infront of the dad?

This cannot possibly go wrong

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>>25921045
>Jager's reaction to the bounce

>>25920977
If all else fails, go to your training.

>>25920960
>>Perform tactical withdrawal.

>>25921005
Gilbert never really took into battle himself though right?

Audrey's Narcissus is probably buried under the ruins of Anthold or worse if Matt and Artya did their job

>>25920960
>>Perform tactical withdrawal.

RUN.

>>25921045
This is not SW89Q and we are not Fronk

Rolled 5

>you're damn right I will SIR

Mix cocksureness with healthy dose of manly respect.

File: 1373426349396.png-(282 KB, 600x1220, yellingbirdwritesthebstfa(...).png)

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It was a calm and starry night.

JAEGER STURMFUHRER, LIBERATOR OF RANDGRIZ and HERO OF GALLIA, just found out he had ALL DA ALCOHOL. FOREVER. And then he drunk the fuck out of that offer, drinking his cute XO and girlfriend under the table.

What happened next was a-

AND THEN THEY FUCKED. SAM TORE HIS CLOTHES OFF AND THEY FUCKED. UNDER THE TABLE. THEY FUCKING BOUNCED THAT TABLE SO HARD THAT RAMIREZ GOT ORDERED TO PLEASURE THE WEEPING SWEET-TOOTH WITH HIS FIST. THEY FUCKED SO HARD SHIT WAS SO UNREAL AND EVEN ALEK AND ELSA COULD ONLY STARE IN WIDE-EYED SHOCK.

SHE FUCKED HIM HARD SHE FUCKED HIS BRAINS OUT. AND THEN THEY STOLE A FUCKING TANK. AND RANDGRIZ WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN.

THE END

----------------------------------------

Lewd police, etc. Bad etiquette, etc. I declare this shit non-canon because it is a YellingBird fanfic.

Shit man, this, Goast, Rails und Wedidn'tdoshit Quest and MARO, LIGHTNINGBENDER in one night? Oh boy.

>>25920960
>>You're damn right I will.

>>25921145
>>25921045

i miss SWQ

>>25921154
10/10, brought a tear to my eye. Truly, Yellingbird is a master of the craft.

>>25921154
...

Well played.

>>25921164
it was one of a kind

>>25921154
10/10 Greatest love story ever told

>>25920960
"You're damn right I will, sir." You say, snapping your best and most profession salute that you have ever performed now and in the distant future.

"That's more like it." General Wellings nods and turns to Sam. "Congratulations, Samantha. I wish nothing but the best for you two."

"T-thanks, Dad."

"So, I don't need to do anything to earn your blessing?" You ask. "No hunting trip or 'family' outing or anything like that?"

"Oh, we're going on the hunting trip, all right." The General grins. "If you pull this off then I'll never lodge an objection to your relationship ever again. Meet me in my office in and hour."

He then looks at the rest of the Demons sprawled around the cell.

"Actually, make it two."

With that, General Wellings spins on his heel and marches out of the room, leaving you and Sam alone with the Demons.

>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.
>You got two hours. Ditch them and spend some time with Sam!
>Other

>>25921154
Are you the guy who posted the capslock MercxTwitter thing in the announcement thread last night?

>>25921234
>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.
Then
>You got two hours. Ditch them and spend some time with Sam!

>>25921234
>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.

>>25921234
>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.
However much I prefer the second option, professionalism wins again.

>>25921254
Best of both worlds.

>>25921234
>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.
Okay everyone! Rise and Shine!

>>25921164
>>25921195
It's not dead, you know

>>25921234
>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.
>You got two hours. Ditch them and spend some time with Sam!
We can do both

>>25921265
Yep. RAMIREZ, DISPERSE ASPIRIN.

>>25921234
>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.

Wakey wakey, squad!

>>25921240

Yes. What of it?

>>25921234

>might as well get this sorry lot up and moving, WITH SAM BY OUR SIDE

>>25921234
>we're going on the hunting trip, all right
Better call Kincade and have him bring us the Anderson Wheeler.
>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.

>>25921234
>Get 'em up and have them and the vehicles on standby in 2 hours.
>Then ditch them and spend time with Sam.

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16 KB JPG

>>25921279

Do it.

>>25921284
It made me smile when I looked at the thread before I left for work is all

>>25921234
This!! >>25921254

Get some tender lovin' in before we go back to war.

>>25921270
its dead until he brings it back

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>>25921234

>You got two hours. Ditch them and spend some time with Sam!

The crew can find their way out of a jail cell. Since Sam's up, let's go for a walk on the beach and talk about our relationship!

>>25921284
What's this about MercxTwitter? I'm confused.

"Wakey wakey!"

>get this sorry lot moving

>>25921234
>>You got two hours. Ditch them and spend some time with Sam!

It's still R and R time so let them figure it out while we get some rare peaceful time with her.

>>25921326
somebody needs to repost this, it was hilarious

>>25921326
>"BUT TWITTER-CHAN, I DON'T SEE THE NEED FOR YOU." MERC COMMAND SAID. "I KEEP MY WORD AND TELL EVERYONE AHEAD OF TIME AND STUFF."

>TWITTER WAS NOT AMUSED. NO MATTER WHAT SHE DID, SHE COULD NEVER GET MERC'S AFFECTIONS. HE WAS JUST TOO DAMN STUBBORN. AND SHE WAS PISSED. AND HAD NEEDS.

>THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO DO.

>SHE PUSHED HIM. ONTO A NEARBY BED.

>POMF.

>"TWITTER-CHAN, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ON THE BED?"

>"EVERYTHING WE CAN'T DO ON THE FLOOR UNTIL YOU USE ME." SHE SAID.

>AND THEN THEY FUCKED.

>THE END.

>YOU ASKED FOR THIS"

quoted verbatim

>>25921234

>Doodle on Sleeping Demon Faces
>You got two hours. Ditch them and spend some time with Sam!

HUE

>>25921356
11/10.

>>25921356
I dearly wish he would hurry the fuck up and get one

>>25921357

>>Doodle on Sleeping Demon Faces

They're sleeping! Make it happen!

>>25921357
>>25921397
We already did that once. It didn't end very well.

>>25921410

exactly

>>25921357
This is entirely unprofessional. Give Elsa a monocle and a handlebar mustache, and Alek whiskers. Enlist Heloise.

>>25921234
>>You got two hours. Ditch them and spend some time with Sam!

>waiting for a certain Merc Command

>>25921630
FUCK you got my hopes up.

>spend two hours with Merc Command

>>25921667
Got your hopes up over what?

>>25921234
>>Might as well get this sorry lot up and moving.

>>25921691
I was in another tab, had auto on, saw that little (1), thought 'HOLY CRAP IT'S MC FINALLY'
But no.
It was just you.
Bah humbug.

>>25921725
WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS QUEST GOT MY HOPES UP OVER HELOISE, SO FAIRS FAIR.

>>25921234
"You know what, Sam." You grin. "We've hardly ever had time alone for ourselves ever since this whole thing started, and we're back in Randgriz! We should like, do something."

"But, what about the others?" Sam asks.

"Well, they're all adults. I'm sure they can find their way out of an open prison cell." You shrug, then get an evil grin.

>Doodles!
>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation.
>Other

>>25921750
>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation.
We've learned our lesson after the incident with Heloise.

>>25921750
>Doodles!
But only for Alek and Elsa. Maybe get Heloise up to help us, and to get revenge.

>>25921750
>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation

>>25921750
>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation.

We don't need to be that mean...

>>25921750
>>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation.

>>25921750
>Doodles!

>>25921750
>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation.
we may sign their pay check but i don't wanna fuck with them.

>>25921750
>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation.

Doodles is a cruel and unusual punishment.

>>25921750
>>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation.

>>25921750
>>Doodles!

Give em the doodles!

>>25921750
>Doodles!

But spare Heloise. It'll be priceless!

>>25921750
>Doodles!

>>25921750
>Nah, they've suffered enough humiliation.

>>25921750
>>Doodles!
why would there be any other options?
but leave our signature on one of them, so they know who to yell at

>>25921750

>>Doodles!

Ahahahahah