(for information on what, exactly, I'm yelling about, you might find this thread useful: >>25863139 )

>Great Oak Watchers @ Lewis & Clark’s Last Chancers

The Last Chancers hosted the Watchers for their home opener, and it was a damn pretty crawl from both teams. The mountain trolls that roam Big Sky were no threat to either team, dealt with aptly by the Watchers’ Ella Hudson (ranger) and Dave Cantrell (cleric), and a Last Chancers duo of fighter Clark Bell and bard Cecelia Hert. Neither did the puzzles and traps that dot the mountain slow the parties, as both Watchers scout Marie Kristiansen and the Last Chancers’ rogue Jaxon “Action” Tracy were nearly flawless. In fact, the only stumble from either team came when Hert briefly lost her footing on a ledge, and tumbled right atop a napping troll (which was quickly dispatched).
With little to separate the two teams, it all came down to points earned for completing the objective. The parites were tasked with reaching the top of Big Sky and stealing an egg from the red dragon that nests atop the mountain, then make it back down without meeting an untimely end. Kristiansen did the Watchers proud, slipping into the dragon’s den and securing the egg. After a lively chase down the mountain, the Watchers came away with a very narrow win.
FINAL SCORE
Watchers - 15
Last Chancers - 14
Crawler of the Match - Marie Kristiansen, scout, Great Oak Watchers

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Let's go Lastwall, let's go!

>Young Mountain Yetis @ Soda Mine Barbarians

As the two teams descended into Lunta’s Mine, there was a tangible energy in the air. Both teams started the season with a loss, and both want to turn things around. The Barbarians’ barbarian, Neil Nordegraf, looked sloppy last week, still recovering from an arm reattachment, but seemed to be making strides in this week’s crawl, slashing his way through oozes and dire frostbats with a casual abandon that the Barbarians’ fans have to be happy about. Young Mountain also performed well, both against monsters (thanks to fighter Jake Summers’ shieldwork) and traps (rogue Laura Hoyster continuing to prove she’s one of the best in the game with a flawless double-disarm of two pitfall traps).
However, as the crawl progressed, the ice-cold water and half-flooded rooms of the mine clearly began to wear down both teams as they tried to complete their objective (recovering Lunta’s Sword, hidden away somewhere in the mine). Both teams’ healers were stretched to their limits, but both Tammy Becker, the Barbarians’ cleric, and Pete Olson, the Yetis’ medic, managed to keep their teams in the crawl until, finally, Hoyster found the sword - and a win for the Yetis - floating within a particularly large ooze.
FINAL SCORE
Yetis - 11
Barbarians - 10
Crawler of the Match - Laura Hoyster, rogue, Young Mountain Yetis

NACL IS RIGGED

WATCH A REAL SPORT LIKE COMPETITIVE ALCHEMY

NERDS

>>25878832
>competitive alchemy
>real sport

If anything CompAlch is MORE rigged; everybody knows the players swallow intelligence potions by the gallon to stay ahead.

>Monument City Ravenguard @ New England Cultists

Despite protests during the offseason regarding concern about mental safety of the crawlers, the Cultists start another season calling The Great Abyss home. The Ravenguard are a team with mental fortitude to spare, though, and came into New England looking to spoil the Cultists’ home opener. Things got messy early, with both teams blocked from even enter the dungeon as The Great Abyss put up a puzzle at the entrance to the dungeon itself. Eventually, after struggling to translate the runes, Ravenguard wizard Mae Dubois got her team into the dungeon, just as the Cultists’ rogue, Kim Janssens, solved her own puzzle.
Beyond the doors, The Great Abyss stretched out before the two teams, a dark chasm running deep into the earth. The teams were tasked with finding and stopping a cultist ritual, and with such a huge space to search, every second counted. The Great Abyss wasn’t going to make it easy, though, as ghouls and night gaunts scuttled from the depths to stop the parties. The Ravenguard’s team of ranger Isaac Pickering and cleric Ray McKnight successfully kept the beasts at bay, but the Cultists weren’t as lucky, as they watched barbarian Toren Atkinson dragged into the darkness by so many grasping hands. Even down a man, and relying on second-string healer Pip Jorgen (alchemist), the Cultists were the first to find the ritual room and send the worshippers scattering. But in the end, the Cultists’ failures against the night gaunts tipped the scales in favor of the Ravenguard.
FINAL SCORE
Ravenguard - 8
Cultists - 7
Crawler of the Match - Ray McKnight, cleric, Monument City Ravenguard

>>25878832
>Competitive Alchemy
>Sport
Pick one

>>25878738
Oh boy, that must have been a great match. I am surprised they managed that dragon so easy.

Is that the first 15 we had this season?

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come on Op, I need to hear how my otters did!

>>25878972
You better be ready to wait, because unless I'm mistaken Otters are going to be posted last

>>25878933
Oh that is a bad bad bad blow to the Cultists... did they manage to retrieve Toren? I hope so, he was always great fun to watch...

>Yorkshire Giant Slayers @ The Pitt Steel Soldiers

The Foundry, the Steel Soldiers’ home dungeon, is one of the most hazardous, if not outright dangerous, dungeons east of the Mississippi. Its hallways patrolled by stoic golems, streams of molten metal flowing under teetering walkways, crushing walls and spinning gears ready to end the careers of any careless crawlers. But today, the Giant Slayers and Steel Soldiers both escaped The Foundry relatively unscathed.
Both teams began their crawl at the bottom of the complex, and, as molten iron began to flood the dungeon, the parties scrambled to ascend to the top and escape, climbing up swinging chains, rushing up shaking staircases, and fighting their way through The Foundry’s silent golem guardians. Both teams field very traditional sword-and-board fighters (Tessa Sumerlin for the Giant Slayers and Jedd Kozlowski for the Steel Soldiers), and the balanced approach to offense and defense helped keep their respective parties safe among the perilous walkways suspended over the boiling metal. For most of the crawl, the teams were neck-and-neck, until the Steel Soldiers were slowed by a pendulum puzzle. As artificer Suzy Arringon struggled to get her team across the swinging platforms, the Giant Slayers’ rogue, Ian Pellow, quickly (if somewhat sloppily) led his party past crushing hammers and scything blades and to the exit.
FINAL SCORE
Giant Slayers - 12
Steel Soldiers - 10
Crawler of the Match - Tessa Sumerlin, fighter, Yorkshire Giant Slayers

>Capitol Red Scars @ New Amsterdam Genasi

Deep Water, the Genasi’s home dungeon, is a cramped and crowded series of long-abandoned tunnels that run beneath the city. The Red Scars, a large, loud, and wild team, were practically bouncing off the walls as they scraped their way through the narrow, water-filled passages, while the more nimble Genasi had little trouble navigating their home. The Red Scars had plenty of opportunity to do what they do best, though, as the sand hogs (mutants that inhabit the undercity) swarmed both teams throughout the crawl. Will Trettin, fighter for the Red Scars, chewed his way through the wave of bodies, and the Genasi’s Melody Cortez (swashbuckler) also quickly cleared a path for her team.
The parties were given a simple objective: to go from one side of the dungeon to the other, but with a small twist: scattered throughout the dungeon were hidden levers that could flood the opponent’s side, slowing them significantly. The Red Scars chose not to waste time looking for the devices and instead headed straight for the end, while the Genasi sent scout Theo Abbey off to find the levers and flood the Red Scars’ side, a gamble that could possibly cost the Genasi precious time. Ultimately, it paid off, as the Red Scars saw alchemist Clara Novak swept away in a wave of rushing water, as the rest of the team struggled for air as the water filled the dungeon. The Genasi took advantage of the situation, and are now 2-0 on the season.
FINAL SCORE
Red Scars - 8
Genasi - 13
Crawler of the Match - Theo Abbey, scout, New Amsterdam Genasi

>>25879061
>>25878933
>>25878738
Man, this week has not been great for home games.

>>25879109

Makes me fearful for my Flytraps...

>>25879109

Hey, there's a hometeam win. >>25879103 But Good holy god on a bike, talk about a fucking homefield advantage.

>Outlander Gatekeepers @ New Cardon Flytraps

Arachnophobes, look away now. The Waiting Dark is the Flytraps’ home dungeon, abandoned ruins that used to belong to a great Drow Empire that weaved it's way under the entire country. But just because the Drow are gone doesn’t mean the spiders are, and The Waiting Dark is chock full of everything you’d expect to find in a former Drow torture/pleasure chamber.
Things kicked off almost immediately for both teams in the crawl. While the Flytraps’ team of Ian Marsh (fighter) and Jan McClure (wizard) bowled through a giant spider’s nest, the Gatekeepers’ Josh Woodward (rogue) navigated his team past room after room of traps of every variety. As the crawl was a king of the hill style take-and-hold, both teams were moving quickly but carefully, wanting to be at their full strength to better contest the objective. The room the parties were to hold changed possessions several times, as first Gatekeepers summoner Tina Gomez forced the Flytraps to retreat, before the Gatekeepers themselves were driven back by several of the driders that still call The Waiting Dark home. The driders could not stand against the combined attacks of both teams, and as they scuttled away, the Gatekeepers once again gained control of the objective, and did not relinquish it until the 30 minute time limit expired.
FINAL SCORE
Gatekeepers - 14
Flytraps - 13
Crawler of the Match - Josh Woodward, rogue, Outlander Gatekeepers

>>25878933
>>25879061
>Cultists lose at home
>Steel Soldiers lose at home
>I lost 50 gp on each game thinking they were locks.

For fuck's sake, why do I ignore my loyalties when I put money on these games? screw the point spread, I'm betting against NE for the rest of the season.

>>25879263

Cock balls motherfucking son of a bitch bitch ass motherfucker fuck ass fuck! One bloody point?! FUCK!

Rolled 65

>>25879263
>The Waiting Dark is chock full of everything you’d expect to find in a former Drow torture/pleasure chamber.
you mean like Dragon Dildoes?

>>25879134
Well atleast you did well. Next week my friend, next week...

>>25879322

Something about being so goddamned close and still losing it gets under my skin. The Flytraps should have been prepared for the Driders, backstab the Outlanders after the Driders were dispatched, and then held the hill for the measely minute and a half it would have taken to come ahead.

Seriously, only the Genasi know how to respect a home field, it looks like.

>Crescent River Martyrs @ Magnolia City Minotaurs

After a win at home against the division rival Devils, the Martyrs come into The Labyrinth looking to keep the ball rolling, while the Minotaurs are still licking their wounds from their time in Tidewater. The Minotarus would miss alchemist Ellert Reynaldsson, as second-string healer Mic Rowl (cleric) took to the dungeon while Reynaldsson recuperates (though the Minotaurs expect him back next week).
The Labyrinth is one of the younger dungeons in the league. It seems to take inspiration from its namesake, as its most common form is a twisting underground maze (a very traditional dungeon style), but the maze is patrolled by lightning elementals, and electrical traps feature prominently, both fairly modern hazards. Today the crawlers were faced with a very traditional objective: once they successfully navigated the maze, they would be confronted by a riddle to unlock the final exit. First one through completes the objective. While navigating the maze itself didn’t give either team any trouble, the electrical traps quickly took their toll. Both rogues (the Martyrs’ Trudy Puckett and the Minotaurs’ Daisy Canon) struggled with the constant shocks and jolts interfering with their normally precise movements. Eventually Canon succombed to the onslaught, despite Rowl’s best efforts to keep her in the crawl. The occasional lightning elemental also made life difficult for the teams, but neither fighter allowed the creatures to threaten the party. Even with Puckett nursing some nasty burns, the Martyrs reached the exit first and Puckett, with the help of wizard Junior Barnes, decoded the riddle and ended their time in The Labyrinth.
FINAL SCORE
Martyrs - 10
Minotaurs - 8
Crawler of the Match - Juin Caravane, swashbuckler, Crescent River Martyrs

>>25879384
Fuck yeah Martyrs! Two in a row! Keep the ball rolling!

>Tidewater Sahaugin @ Terminus Devils

Both teams came into the crawl looking worse for the wear, an auspicious start to the season. The Sahaugin lost sorcerer Eric Davies to injury during their crawl last week, and don’t expect him back any time soon. Druid Jon Fraleigh will try and fill in at mage until Davies can make his return. The Devils aren’t without trouble of their own, though, as alchemist Louis Calgori is still recovering from a nasty stab wound received during the Devils’ crawl at Crescent River. Edison Tobe, formerly a starting cleric for the New Cardon Flytraps, will be the team’s healer this week.
The Seventh Level, the Devils’ home dungeon, is known around the league largely for one hazard: fire, and lots of it. While various infernal creatures were the dungeon’s main hazard for many decades, recently the danger of the monsters have diminished, and the dungeon has become much more focused on the environmental threat of flames and heat. The Sahaugin are a strong skirmishing team, but have never had the fortitude required for crawls like this, and, especially with their starting mage out, they floundered quickly in the face of the inferno. Despite ranger Cat Singleton’s impressive bow work keeping the devils at bay, the Sahaugin became overwhelmed and lost cleric Randall McCullough in an exhausting battle against a swarm of imps.

>>25879452

Yeah, your Martyrs are doing pretty dang good so far. I'm jealous as fuck.

>>25879475
(cont)

The objective of the fight was to rid The Seventh Level of as many devils as possible within the 60 minute time limit. Without their cleric, the Sahaugin had to resort to simply slaying the creatures, and Singleton made an impressive job of it, helped along by scout Jenny Kelly. The Devils’ warlock, Lily Button, adopted a strategy of banishing the devils from the Material Plane, but it proved less effective than the Sahaugin’s brute force method, and they won the objective. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to make up for earlier stumbles.
FINAL SCORE
Sahaugin - 9
Devils - 10
Crawler of the Match - Cat Singleton, ranger, Tidewater Sahaugin

Going to take a brief break, will pick back up in 20 minutes or so.

>>25879384
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT SAY THEY GONNA BEAT DEM MARTYRS

>>25879487

Wait, so there's scoring based on things other than the objective? How did the Sahaugin come behind if they won the objective? Penalty for losing their cleric?

>>25879384
What a fucking disgrace! I am all for honoring what Mic Rowl did for us over the years, but he is clearly getting too old for this game and shouldn't have been allowed one more season.
Can't believe Canon still hasn't adopted to the fucking electricity. How hard can it be? He is a professional after all...

>>25879527
Teams are rated on Speed, Style, and Effectiveness. Completing the objective sometimes just isn't enough if you fuck up or take to long.

>>25879527
Crawls are scored on skill, style, and speed exhibited by the teams (up to 5 points in each category), plus a handful of potential bonus points for objectives.

>>25879570
>>25879577

Cool, good to know. Is that why games that are such a slog tend to score lower, then?

>>25879568
Hey, my dear Trudy had the same problems with the traps. Took ol' Junior to help with the riddle as well as Juin doing the heavy lifting (for a Swashbuckler, I know) to help her out.

Crawling's a team sport, and relying too much on one or two crawlers will only make you lose. Just like last season's game against the Devils. Damn Bodybag Game.

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>>25879487
>>25879475
>taking a break right before posting the only game I'm interested in

Gods be damned.

>>25879623
>Crawling's a team sport, and relying too much on one or two crawlers will only make you lose.

Hitting right in the feels...
Our management never shined with anything but mediocrity.

>Fort Worthington Jackalopes @ Lastwall Shields

While the rivalry has fizzled a little in recent years, for many, Fort Worthington vs. Lastwall is one of the classic matchups, two military towns leaving it all in the dungeon. And here it is again, with the Jackalopes ready to for the showdown in Sanctum. While both teams had crawlers slightly worse for the wear, it was still a good old fashioned crawl, the likes of which are rarely seen in the modern NACL.

>>25879922
(cont)
Sanctum, the Shields’ dungeon, actually stands within spitting distance of the Long Night, an important site for keeping the creeping tendrils of darkness from moving further west. Crawls in Sanctum are as much about the spectacle as they are a means of keeping the magical energies within Sanctum strong, fueled by the emotions of both the crawlers and the spectators. The objective of the first home crawl of the season at Sanctum is always the same: battle through the will-o-wisps and illusionary temptations and tricks, and reactivate the beacons scattered through Sanctum. The Jackalopes got off to a stunning start, with paladin Tom Justice and cleric Annette Furst a potent combination, the first signs of the kind of chemistry the Jackalopes were hoping for when they drafted Furst this year. On the other side of Sanctum, Shields fighter Brent Haywood was no slouch either, and both teams moved forward steadily. The illusory temptations throughout Sanctum are always one of the biggest threats, and the Jackalopes’ Zia Tallan (sorcerer) struggled against them once again (she was incapacitated by the same hazard during the Jackalopes crawl here last season), but did not succomb. The Shields, too, fell victim to the illusions, when scout Scott Hardkiss led his party straight over a glamered pitfall. Between them, both teams eventually lit the beacons (with the Shields beating out the Jackalopes by two), and the teams respectfully exited the dungeon side-by-side, as per tradition.
FINAL SCORE
Jackalopes - 11
Shields - 12
Crawler of the Match - Annette Furst, cleric, Fort Worthington Jackalopes

>>25879568
Throw him out, throw him out, toss his family into the long night!

>>25879954
>toss his family into the long night
What the fuck is wrong with you

>>25879941

As good of a crawler that Justice is, I really hope he doesn't turn into a younger version of Lee Hardaway back on the Outlanders. Always attributing his wins to his god and injecting his faith into everything. With all the druids, medics, and alchemists in the league, the ol' laying on of hands isn't the only way to get through a dungeon anymore.

>>25879922
>>25879941
Always a good crawl to watch. Shame that the Martyrs' crawl was in the same time slot as this one this year. Only caught glimpses of it during the commercials for my crawl.

>>25879954
Hey hey hey, let's not bring that up. Mic's father fought in the Long Night during the War, after all.

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>>25879941
>>25879922
>Between them, both teams eventually lit the beacons (with the Shields beating out the Jackalopes by two), and the teams respectfully exited the dungeon side-by-side, as per tradition.

Feels good to be a Shield fan. Shields + Jackalopes enebros 5 lyfe

>West Mesa Coyotes @ Monterrey Aztecs

Last season, the Aztecs were forced out of their home dungeon halfway through the season, but now they’re back home in Mictlin. Famed for the blood jaguars that stalk the demiplane, Mictlin is perhaps one of the most “powerful” of dungeons in the NACL (beyond those used for postseason crawls). The Coyotes are the first team to face Mictlin in almost 9 months, but almost no one could’ve expected the crawl to turn as brutal as it did. Already slightly handicapped with cleric Troy Beaman out (second-string healer Tina Slowstone (bard) took his place for this crawl), Mictlin seemed to be merciless, throwing everything at both teams almost from the start.
While the dungeon is famed for its native blood jaguars, almost more dangerous are the fire and lightning elementals, seemingly able to appear on a whim and release a furious blast of energy. The Coyotes’ ranger, Johnnie “Horns” Henderson is perhaps one of the top 5 warriors in the league, but with the team off balance without Beaman, Henderson had to take on the full fury of the elementals alone. Difficulties were compounded by the punishing wind, pelting the parties with razor-sharp obsidian dust, which can cut unprotected skin to ribbons in a matter of seconds. Coyotes druid Shauna Hernandez was the first to fall to Mictlin’s onslaught, but Henderson wasn’t far behind. With the Coyotes down two men (and the Aztecs on the verge of losing barbarian Victor “Vic” Rivas to blood loss from a blood jaguar attack), the match was called out of concern for player safety.
FINAL SCORE
Coyotes - 4
Aztecs - 7
Crawler of the Match - N/A

>>25880129

DUST DUST DUST DUST

>reading the lineup
>accidentally read Bunker City as Bonker City

I need sleep

Ah yeah!!!!

so pumped.

WHO DAT GON' BEAT DEM MARTYR'S?!

>Bunker City Defenders @ Lost Vegas Dust

The ruins of Lost Vegas, the dungeon the Dust calls home, are a very unique dungeon. Puzzles and traps often take inspiration from Old Vegas, giant spinning roulette wheels with razor-sharp edges, games of poker against ghostly opponents, and on one odd occasion, a dice golem. Casual observers might assume Lost Vegas is therefore an easy dungeon, perhaps even a joke, but seasoned crawlers know how quickly things can turn ugly (just ask the ‘09 Marauders). The Defenders come to Lost Vegas without Jessica Cain, their starting fighter, but fans know the Defenders have more than enough firepower at other positions to make up for the loss. In Cain’s place is second-stringer fighter Mason Childless, a seasoned veteran who spent his younger years with the Last Chancers.

>>25880287
(cont)
The two teams began the crawl side-by-side, the dusty ruins of the Strip before them, the moans of the husks echoing off the abandoned monuments to a bygone era of reckless wealth. The objective was simple: break into the vaults of the casinos, and bring as much treasure back to the start point within 90 minutes. Both teams were off like a shot, absolutely smashing through the hordes of husks wandering the streets. Energy and ozone quickly filled the air as the Dust’s spellsword Lyra Moon and the Defenders’ wizard James Graham let the spells fly fast and loose. While Childless did his best to skirmish with the Dust to slow them down, Moon was (almost literally) on fire and Childless instead turned his attention to a defensive role. Both team’s trapfinders (Defenders’ Mitchell Branch (trapsmith) and Dust’s Katie Frost (artificer)) were on point, with both team’s cracking their first vault at roughly the same time. As Frost and Branch raced back to drop off their first haul of loot, the Defenders put a cunning plan into action, as alchemist Marissa Coplen snuck into the next building on the Dust’s side of the road and quietly rigged the entire thing to collapse with a few well-placed explosives. Unfortunately, the Dust had the same idea, as Ian “Biscuit” Douglas (alchemist) set up a similar surprise for the Defenders. Neither plan came to fruition, though, when a stray fireball from wizard Graham set off the explosives in both buildings (and several traps in nearby structures), and when the dust had cleared, half of the Strip was leveled. Unable to excavate any vaults within the remaining time, the objective score ended up being based purely on that first haul.
FINAL SCORE
Defenders - 13
Dust - 14
Crawler of the Match - Lyra Moon, spellsword, Lost Vegas Dust

>>25880320


FUCK YA SUCK IT YA FUCKAN CUNTS

Comm, I am going to go have a drink in honor of my favorite imaginary team.

>>25880320

God damned Defenders don't have an ounce of creativity in their bodies. Congrats Dust!

I was pretty excited about this a while ago, but is this all there is? A bunch of recaps with no in depth or play by play information?

>>25880430

It's a lot of work done all by one person, I'm pretty impressed with what he's got usually.

>>25880430
For every single team in the whole League?

thats expecting a lot.

>>25880430
I don't know about you, but I think I might try my hand at writefagging the crawls of my own team.

Commish, do you mind posting the team rosters of the Lastwall Shields and their last two opponents?

>>25880430

The Commissioner is trying something new and working all the bugs out at this point. There's things he's got developing in the background, too. Dude works like a freaking machine.

>>25880477

All that's in the archives, ya know. Their lineup, backstory, the whole shebang.

>Sonora Desert Walkers @ River City Kobolds

The Greenbelt is, to many, a surprising dungeon. A ribbon of wilderness that runs almost right through the center of River City, it’s an unexpected splash of lushness and greenery in a division known for its deserts. Unless there’s a drought, in which case, the Greenbelt quickly becomes little more than a dry riverbed flanked by dead grass and ornery monsters, baking in the 100 degree weather (and not insignificant humidity). The Desert Walkers come to the Greenbelt in the middle of one of the worst draughts in River City history. It was a rough crawl.
Already down starting cleric Paul Slopes, the Desert Walkers had to make due with backup cleric Ethan Bodnar, starting his first game in the NACL. Things started poorly for the Desert Walkers when bard Zach Gibbs failed to notice a rockslide trap and almost buried his entire party, and things didn’t improve as the dire salamanders, driven mad by the heat, came out to investigate. They were driven off after a somewhat sloppy effort by ranger Brendan Knapp, but the entire party was smarting after the encounter. Meanwhile, on the other side of the dungeon, the Kobolds were suffering in the humidity, not as adapted to oppressive heat as the Desert Walkers, but thanks to the trapfinding efforts of rogue Ned Coates, and the defense put forth by fighter Zac Humm, the heat was the only thing bothering the Kobolds.

>>25880516
(cont)
The teams had been tasked with tracking down and slaying a legendary green drake residing somewhere within the Greenbelt, and it wasn’t until almost two hours in that the Desert Walkers picked up on its trail, thanks to Knapp’s tracking abilities. The Kobolds did their best to catch up, but before they could the Desert Walkers had entered the beast's lair. A fierce fight ensued, but the combined efforts of Knapp and druid Clair “Acorn” Tillman eventually put the monster down, netting the Desert Walkers a handful of points that they desperately needed. Ultimately, it wasn’t enough, and the Kobolds came away with a win simply for having a cleaner crawl.
FINAL SCORE
Desert Walkers - 9
Kobolds - 12
Crawler of the Match - Clair Tillman, druid, Sonora Desert Walkers

>>25880430
As everyone else said, it's a pretty large undertaking as it is. Feel like being a commentator and detail out one of these games play-by-play?

>>25880622
When the idea was first floated at the end of May/early June, I had a team approach me about doing a "broadcast" or a PTI style call-in show, but after things got pushed back because of my move, I didn't hear from them again.

>>25879103
GENASI BITCHES! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

>>25880725
That would still be nice, if anyone is willing to do so. Sadly, my schedule is unpredictable as all fuck, so I couldn't help run it.

>Bay City Dwarves @ Great Basin Crusaders

One of the great West Coast division rivalries, Dwarves vs. Crusaders, two big, physical teams smashing head first through any obstacles. In the wide-open expanse of The Salts, the Crusaders’ home dungeon, they’d have plenty of room to get a running start, too. The Dwarves come into the match still missing Erik Kearney (rogue), with backup rogue Ronald Gregory-Erickson taking his spot today.
The Salts lives up to its name, a baking expanse of salt flats that stretches throughout much of Great Basin, patroled by salt elementals, and scattered with hidden pitfalls as the thin crust gives way, dropping crawlers into pools of magical salts that literally leech the water from the skin. In other words, it’s not a fun crawl. But both teams put on a good showing, with Gregory-Erickson earning his roster spot while leading the party safely past dozens of pitfalls, while the Crusaders’ rookie paladin Joseph Swan continued to impress against the legions of salt elementals.
The goal of both teams was to find a single beacon somewhere in the middle of the salty wasteland, and activate it. The crawl was given no time limit; neither team would be able to leave until the beacon was active. After four hours of searching, both teams were at their limit, Dwarves fighter DeSean Levy in particular baking within his heavy armor (with their healer slot taken by an alchemist, the Dwarves are unable to deal with environmental threats as well as some other teams). Though Levy wasn’t the first to fall, as Crusaders oracle Jonah McIntire collapsed onto the ground. Just before a medical team was called to extract him, however, he rose again, stiff as a board and pointing straight ahead into the wastes. His team followed as McIntire walked in a dreamlike state, and came across the beacon. It was quickly activated, and both teams were treated for extreme dehydration.
FINAL SCORE
Dwarves - 10
Crusaders - 12

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>>25880622
>YOU'RE IN THE TORGUE ZONE, BABY! IF YOU AREN'T MADE OF MANA, METAL OR BACON, GET THE F*CK OUT!

>>25880129
>Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like today's crawlers have arrived. Do the West Mesa Coyotes have what it takes to survive the Mictlin Dungeon? I think we all know the answer to that: MAAAAAAAAYBEEEEEEEE!

>>25879487
>Those Sahuagin are chewing through demons like a fat kid through a cookie store!

>...NOW I WANT COOKIES!

>>25880853
Crawler of the Match - Jonah McIntire, oracle, Great Basin Crusaders

>>25880856
oh god.

take my money and shame.

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>>25880856

>St. Iago’s Thunderbolts @ Silent Bay Sharks

The first team to make the long trip out to Silent Bay this season, the Thunderbolts were looking to pick up a win after choking in the last seconds of last week’s crawl. But Mount Ka’ala wasn’t going to make it easy for them, and neither were the Sharks. Despite the Sharks being one of the newest teams in the NACL, Mount Ka’ala has actually been a dungeon for centuries, utilized by the native tribes as a religious site long before the true nature of dungeons had been discovered.
The objective was to retrieve an artifact atop the mountain, one that, the longer it sat there, would bring the volcano closer and closer to eruption. With neither team wanting to be buried beneath lava and scalding ash, the crawl was a mad scramble up the side of the mountain, with the various wildlife standing in the team’s path being bowled aside, either by the Sharks’ duo of barbarian Kahuna and sorcerer Jenna Song, or by the twin blades of Thunderbolts fighter Benjamin Slater. As ash began to rain down and the mountain rumbled ominously, both teams made their final push, past trickles of lava that began to seep through cracks. For the second week in a row, the Thunderbolts found themselves in a footrace to end a crawl, and for the second week in a row they came up just tragically short, as Mike Bass (bard) was outpaced by Sharks rogue Rhonda Little. The Thunderbolts have once again preemptively released a statement that Bass will not be cut.
FINAL SCORE
Thunderbolts - 10
Sharks - 12
Crawler of the Match - Rhonda Little, rogue, Silent Bay Sharks

>>25880455
>>25880470
>>25880622
I'm thoroughly enjoying these, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love the radio/ESPN recap feel it has, I was honestly just expecting a more...let's say "closer look" at the teams and contestants instead of a more condensed "big picture" look.

I'll just keep quiet from now on.

>>25880548
>>25880516
>Fans, I don't know about you, but I'm so close to the edge of my seat that the chair is PRACTICALLY IRRELEVANT AT THIS POINT

>>25880320
>>25880287
>KIDS THESE DAYS AND THEIR CRAZY STRATEGIES, AM I RIGHT?

>>25880898
>>25880959
>YOUR KIND WORDS ARE APPRECIATED!

>>25881052
>That crawl reminded me of my dad! ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!

>>25881052
Fucking Bass

>>25881126
The hilarious part is, mechanically, Bass is the best player on their team.

Albatrosses @ Marauders and Otters @ Navigators will be posted in 15-20 minutes, power went out here (storm moving through) so I'm posting from my phone temporarily. If it doesn't come back up before 10 PM, I can download the transcripts from Drive, theoretically.

>>25881052
Just caught a bit of the post-crawl interview with the T-Bolts' coach. (Read the spoilers as bleeps.)

"Look, I know what you're gonna ask. And no, Bass isn't going anywhere. I just wanna say this: We fucking lost, I get it! But dammit, this is how a team grows. We fucking lose, but we try to learn from it. We're not like these other teams who trade out their players like their used underwear!"

>The coach slams his hands on the podium, looking at the crowd with an angry, exhausted glare.

"Why don't you just report on the crawls and not all this stupid, behind the scenes bullshit you love to make up. I'm done with you!"

>The coach storms out of the press room with the cameras flashing madly at him as he does so.

>>25881202
Ugh ive been waiting all day for Albatross....

Gotta see that sweet sweet Marbles

>>25879024
>cultist
They got him back, but he's pretty fucked in the head. He's gibbering about god knows what in Mass General right now. Nobody knows when he'll be crawling again. I'd be surprised if it's this season. Sucks. We're only two games in!

Crossing my fingers for Albatross victory

>Emerald City Albatrosses @ Goldenport Marauders

After brutalizing the Otters last week, the Marauders had to be feeling good about hosting the Albatrosses at home (the Albatrosses have historically struggled on the road). The ruins of Oakport, the Marauders’ home dungeon, is a maze of abandoned warehouses, decrepit ships, and twisted flesh-eating mutants, and the Albatrosses have experienced some brutal losses here over the years.

>>25881674
(cont)
The objective was to board one of the ghost ships that sits in the harbor, copy the map found in the captain’s cabin, and then fight through the undead crew and escape, a particularly complicated task for what is usually a very straightforward dungeon. The two teams set out with two very different strategies, the Albatrosses sneaking through the warehouses trying not to alert the mutants, while the Marauders took a more direct approach, rushing along the docks in an attempt to outrun the monsters. Tank Pryce, the Marauders’ fighter, is easily one of the top at his position, and he demonstrated that skill when the mutant horde finally caught up with his team, sending the twisted beasts reeling with just a few swings of his greatsword. When the Albatrosses finally had to stand and fight, barbarian Tyson Baird did his best to emulate Pryce, but ended up taking a beating and had to be patched up by alchemist (and recent team addition) Audrey Marble. As both teams began to hop from ship to ship towards their goal, the waters beneath them churned with yet more mutants desperately scrambling at the side of the boats, attempting to drag themselves aboard. While the Albatrosses stopped to fight the mutants off, the Marauders once again displayed their speed, quickly boarding the ghost ship and fighting through the undead crew. While Marauders trapsmith Doug Fetterman slipped off to the wheelhouse, Pryce challenged the undead captain to single combat, eventually beheading the ghoul with a spectacular sweeping swing of his blade, as an audible gasp rose from the fans.
FINAL SCORE
Albatrosses - 10
Marauders - 14
Crawler of the Match - Tank Pryce, fighter, Goldenport Marauders

>Taggenton Otters @ New Albion Navigators

The City of Glass, the sparkling skyscraper that rises above New Albion, is the newest dungeon in the NACL. A twisting tower filled with illusions and glass golems, it is also one of the few that remains “active” enough to allow mages and scientists to study it, giving us more insight into dungeon behavior. The Otters didn’t come to town to study, though. They came to town to win. With cleric Elenor Blancheflower reluctantly benched after her encounter with the Marauders last week, rookie cleric Kyle Dake was in charge of keeping the Otters in the fight this week. Also on the injury report was scout Daniel “Goro” Minami, initially listed as doubtful but ultimately taking to the dungeon.
Both teams began their crawl on the first floor of the City of Glass, and were instructed to ascend to the top as quickly as possible. The first team to reach the top floor and plant their party’s flag would end the crawl and win the objective. But the crawl would not be nearly as straightforward as the simple objective made it sound. While the Navigators immediately set off for the stairs to begin their ascent, the Otters decided to try their luck with the notoriously tricky elevators. They quickly found themselves assaulted by illusion after illusion, as first the floor seemed to drop away, then the doors appeared to open (causing fighter Jeremy Fitzgerald to hilariously run into the glamered, but still very closed, doors of the elevator). After several minutes, Minami, with the help of sorcerer Alexis Heap, regained control of the elevator and the team was on their way again.

>>25881700
(cont)
Meanwhile, the Navigators, nearly halfway up the building at this point, found themselves under attack by a mirror golem, one of the rarest breeds of glass golem (one not seen for almost a year now). Fighter Tyrell Wonderly and cleric Katie Tea attacked the creature, only to find their spells and swings reflected back at themselves. It wasn’t until rogue Tybalt Black found the creature’s weak spot, shattering it into a million sparkling shards, that the Navigators were able to advance. Unfortunately, the Otters elevator ploy had paid off, and in the time it took for the Navigators to destroy the golem, the Otters were celebrating atop the skyscraper, a definitive win that has to put a smile on Otters fans’ faces.
FINAL SCORE
Otters - 13
Navigators - 11
Crawler of the Match - Daniel Minami, scout, Taggenton Otters

>>25881686
FUCK

>>25881700
>>25881712
>OTTERS! OTTERS! OTTERS!
OI! OI! OI!

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>>25881712
>navigators are now 0-2 and just lost a home crawl to the otters

>>25878933
God damn it Cultists get your shit together.

>>25881856

Want to split the rest of this ice cream? My poor Flytraps are in the same place.

>>25881856
The only thing that makes me feel worse is the fact that the Otters didn't really win the crawl, it's just that the Navigators lost it.

Why the fuck did they take the stairs?

>>25881950
The elevators fuck everyone; nobody in their right mind would go that route. The fact that the Otters made it work is a credit to them.

>>25881700
>(causing fighter Jeremy Fitzgerald to hilariously run into the glamered, but still very closed, doors of the elevator)

otter's season in a nutshell

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>>25881914
>>25881950
Don't give up hope; I'm sure you guys can come back from those losses. It's still early in the season!

>>25881950
Because the last time a team tried to take the elevator it sent them hurtling into the floor, covered in broken glass. The time before that the elevator door ended up leading back into the same elevator! Taking the stairs is the right thing to do nine times out of ten.

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>>25882031
You must've missed the part where they won.

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It's been a long day so I'm gonna go watch an episode of Sharpe's Rifles and sort of unwind, but I'll be back to answer questions and talk about week three (and beyond) in an hour or two.

Don't remember if I've posted this version of the map yet, showing the five playoff dungeons.

A Kobolds win? Not bad!

>>25881700
>>25881712
Shit, as someone from New Albion, I was worried that there would be another riot after this game.

>>25878738
Fuck yeah Watchers! Starting off strong this season.

>>25881490

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR HOPING

>>25881490
>Crossing my fingers for Albatross victory

Maybe next time, Mariner.

>>25881712
Albion is a joke this season, Black can only carry these incapable idiots so far.

Oh shit, I totally forgot this was tonight. I'm pretty sure I'm the only Sahaugin fan, and even though we lost, it could've been a lot worse against the Devils.

>>25882200
>showing the five playoff dungeons

Playoff dungeons?

>>25885028
>During the season, crawls take place in the home team's dungeon, but during the playoffs, the crawls move to a neutral location, special "legendary" dungeons, of which there are five: the Four Winds Conclave (Chicago), the False Pass Invitational (Aleutian Islands, Alaska), the Half-Moon Showdown (Portland, Maine), the Lone Star Classic (Marfa, Texas), and the Red Grove Assembly (Redwood National Park, CA). The NACL has two seasons a year, Summer and Winter, and the playoffs rotate between these five locations.

From a previous thread.

>>25885314
So where are we going to be this year?

>>25885331
Didn't say, hopefully Commish will come back and tell us.

>>25885331
>>25885430
Hasn't been announced yet. It's typically not until several weeks into the season that the larger dungeons begin to stir, having felt the energy from the smaller ones. But the winter season held championship at the Lone Star Classic, and it's almost never the same dungeon twice in a row.

>>25880548

Shame to see Gibbs botch it for us, but hot damn is Tillman on a roll. Here's to hoping the rest of the team can catch up to him.

Fuck yes an Otters and Marauders win this week! Great way to end my night.

>>25885836
>Here's to hoping the rest of the team can catch up to her.

Clair is probably a girl's name.

>>25878781

TOLD Y'ALL NORDEGRAF WAS GETTIN BETTER

GO SODA MINE

>>25879024
>>25881340
Man, are you guys new? Cults always suck until their entire team' gone bonkers, then they ramp it up when their star players are Right.

IÄ CULTULU!!!

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Glad the Ravensguard is undefeated this far! I'm posting this from the arena!

What messes with my head is that the Desert Walkers are such a defiantly AVERAGE team. It'll probably be years before they can win a championship themselves, but in the meantime they serve as a sort of gatekeeper (pardon the expression) for the championship itself; they're the guys you have to go through before you can be assured of a playoff berth.

It's been the same pattern every year, swear to god. There's the teams that get the shit kicked out of them during the season, the teams that did most of the kicking, and the Desert Walkers right in the middle.

Tillman's propping up the rest of the team, as usual; Knapp bobbled that first skirmish badly (although I admit he mostly made up for it later), and there's no excuse for Gibbs missing that trap. I don't know what the hell to make of Bodnar... at least he didn't instigate any major fuckups. Either way, it'll be nice to see Slopes back on his feet eventually.

>>25885430
>Four Winds Conclave
>Dead Center of the Long Night.
How do fans GET there? Armed military convoys? Or does the Dungeon exert control over the long night, making it "safe" for crawlers and fans to get there?

>>25891390
Probably take the bus

>>25889759
I think the term you're looking for is speedbump, not gatekeeper, but I get your meaning. Barbarians were that way for a long time, too.

Anyone set up a wiki for this yet?

>>25889736
>totally empty stands

Not surprised!

Man, North America's seasons are always so much better than England's. Longer seasons, massively better dungeons... no wonder McCollugh transfered.

>>25880548
fucking bullshit refs fucked the game up

It was clearly a desert walker victory and everyone knows it

>>25889362
Yeah but they lose so much in the early season that they fucking never make the playoffs. The late-season games are badass and hilarious, but still meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Next year the Culties should just throw their first home game by diving into the abyss as a team. then they'll be crazy for the whole season. No way that could go wrong.

Thanks Commissioner!
>Jackalopes forever

>>25898118
Hey man, you're not a Culties fan unless you're embracing the crazy; that's what their game is all about! I remember that post game blood sacrifice/orgy a few seasons back where the Coach in Yellow stated their overall strategy as plainly as anyone could with his strange, otherworldly whisper: "We do not win... unless we lose."

Goddamn there's a lot of small-market teams. Montana, Hawaii, ALASKA...

>>25900999
Go where the money is.

Or in this case, go where the massive arcane semi-sentient device/creature bubbles to the surface of the world and participate in the rituals of energy and attention that it demands or else.