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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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>Previous threads don't matter! 1 was misarchived, 2 technically never existed, and 3 sucked! I have a rum and coke! Let's do this!

Spinning around you, in a beautiful, celestial dance were tens of billions of trillions of points of light, each a perpetual nuclear explosion of some flavor or other. You're currently spinning around one of said nuclear explosions at an incredible, incredible speed. Said nuclear explosion is flavored blueberry, of course.
In that it's a blue star! You're currently in a large space station, used to study psionic phenomena! Well, technically you're in the hydroponics bay, looking through a tilted mirror through a hull-strength polycrystalline glass window looking out into the sun, but who cares!

And that's when you see... A spacecraft, launching out, with every member of the station onboard except for you.
They... forgot you.

Which means you have free reign over everything! Even the official marines are gone too! You're free! Freeeee!

Also, you are not a bear.

Your name is SERPENSAL, and you are a small, six-legged crystalline cyborg that was once a space octopus of such incredible size that your existence would be technically impossible in any sort of sane reality! You have the ability to manipulate objects with your legs, and you have a unique alium optical control system, allowing you to hack any object with a camera because your surface is all shiny and glowy!

>What do?
Kill self
We shall eat the sun! There must be a device around here that returns us to our former size. Find it!
For a moment, you consider destroying yourself, but you quickly put it out of your mind because it's stupid!
You look out onto the sun, and your pseudoeyes widen, actually they don't because you don't have eyes, but due to the narrative your head is anthropomorphized so that you can have expressions!
Anyway, your eyes widen as an idea strikes you from the blue!
You will consume this star! Somehow. But first, you need to be restored to your original size, you decide.
You chitter back through hydroponics, and start tromping through the halls, clicking and clacking, as your old optical memory processors kick in, bringing up your map of the station! You're not sure where the RESTORATION DEVICE might be, but looking around, it has to be somewhere... For a moment, you evaluate the chances of the DEVICE being in various areas, but quickly decide that only a few have any chance of containing an object of such power!

>[] Heather's Workshop!
>[] Damien's Room!
>[] The Engine Chamber
>[] That weeiiiird spinning, human-sized brass hoop levitating there for no known reason!
>[] Troll option!
>>[] That weeiiiird spinning, human-sized brass hoop levitating there for no known reason!
In the least it will be delicious.
The M▪Rotor
Realize /tg/ is too cluttered with quest as it is. Then kill self for the greater good.
Without hesitation, you head toward the hoop, which you have now dubbed the M▪Rotor because it sounds cool. You click and clack, and the closer you get, the faster the hoop spins clockwise, growing faster and faster.

For a moment, you take time out to consider the state of /tg/. But you have no idea what that is, since you're not from human society! So you continue going toward the hoop.

You pause as a light appears in the center of the hoop, and then blossoms, growing bigger and wider...
And you realize. The hoop is the other end of a TRANSDIMENSIONAL PORTAL.
Stepping through was a strange, alien being, with two single-kneed legs, two arms... And strange white fur growing from its head.

And then a moment later, you realize that it's actually a human, silly you. An albino girl, it looks.

Following her... Is the single largest creature you have ever seen, brown fur and ursine teeth, as it started trying to claw its way through the portal.

"Grayson, you won't get in that way. You gotta think thin." The girl said. The monstrosity harrumphed loudly, and looked down at you.

"You're so cute!" The girl said, going down on her knees. She patted you on the head, and you noticed that her hands were surging with psionic activity, streams of power writhing through them, marring her skin with silver, reflective lines. "What's your name?"
High King Aleph, lord of the starfuckers. My dominion is all that exists
"I'm Serpensal. I want to eat that star. It looks absolutely delicious."
Girl, you gotta help me. I feel the need. The need to EAT STARS.

But I'm stuck in this teeny tiny body!
"Serpensal. My real body is in this crystal. My true form is that of a giant space squid! Can you help me return to it?
"High King Aleph, lord of the starfuckers!" You respond. "My domain is all that exists!"

The girl paused a moment.

"I want to eat that star." You say, and point a leg out the incredibly convenient window. "It looks absolutely delicious."
"It does!" She said, looking out. "It looks like a giant blueberry, doesn't it?"
"Girl, you gotta help me!" You say.
"My NAME." She said. "Is Ishelda."
"Ishelda, you gotta help me. I feel the need. The need to EAT STARS." You cry, wiggling your legs. "But I'm stuck in this teeny tiny body!"
"Hmmmmm." She said. "I don't have the sorcery to make you bigger..." She looked back at the giant, enormous brown ursine who had somehow crawled through the portal. "But I do have an idea! Magica Presto!"

A moment later, you shuddered, feeling a shiver down your spine.

You were looking down at Ishelda and... Yourself. The small optical crystal cyborg trembled... And you looked down at yourself.
You were BIG. You were an enormous, four-legged being, covered in strange brown fur and given... strange, alien impulses. You were still hungry for stars, but there was something more than that.

"Ta-da!" Ishelda said, whirling around. "I put you in Grayson's body! He's arbitrarily huge, so you can be any size as long as it conforms with the narrative! A bit funky to think about, though."
"Awesome! Can he breathe in space?"
This is unhealthy. I will catch Type-D Pandemic Pneumocystis
"Awesome!" You say, through your new ursine maw. You felt... POWERFUL. Strangely powerful. An alien feeling raged through your frame... Raw, utter power!

"It is!" The girl said.
"Can he breathe in space?"
"What, why would he be able to breathe in space?" Ishelda asked. "He's just a bear. That'd be silly if he could. He'd need like, DIRE MAGICKS or something like that." She said.

The portal started up again, and Ishelda whirled around, eyes wide in fear.
"Oh no!" She said. "It's the unnamed bad guys! They're coming, and I can't fix everything because I'm a deus ex machina!"
Rolled 79

Rolling to fix everything forever.
Rolled 62

Well damn. Maul the portal closed. Then let's make a hole in the wall, and see what's behind it.
Rolled 167

Rolled 91

For a moment, you pause...
And grin a bearry grin! Two incideocannons sprout out of your shoulders, humming with Incideoness, while your claws morph into lashguns, writhing with lashiness!
"Dire magicks can fix everything!" You say.

The girl and ex-bear-now-cyborg-octopus swooned, as they very well should at the sight of such a masculine beast, armed to the teeth.
You started firing at the portal, firing at it repeatedly, lashing, mauling, and Inciding it over and over again...

But it was impregnable. Indestructable, and undamagable! Because of plot!

Stomping through, you see... An exosuit, advanced beyond your wildest dreams. Every Incide you fire, every time you lash, your attacks are repelled by an alien red forcefield, repulsing your attacks!
"Yo." The suited alien said, eight-limbed. While it had two legs, it had six arms, two humanlike ones, and four writhing, tentacular ones, knives and plasma weapons in its hands. It was completely in the suit, and... And with these weapons, you weren't sure if you could breach its shields!
Rolled 72

We must evacuate! To the sun. When we devour the sun's strength we will be able to overpower the monster!
Rolled 126

If we eat the sun we can totally fight Dave. Or maybe after we eat the sun we can have a tea party with ishy. Who knows?
"Evacuate!" you say, and shove the alien thing back with your MASSIVE WEIGHT. You grab your old body and the girl, slinging them onto your back with your sudden thumbs, and you charge out toward the window.

"No!" Ishy said. "For arbitrary reasons, you can't breathe in space!"

Instead, you charge toward the escape pods, and shove everyone in there. Behind you, the exosuit pushed itself to its feet with it's four rear limbs, and started tromping toward you. "What's the matter?" The voice asked. "I just want to... hang out."
Despite the great amount of participant-character seperation that would happen in a case when one narrates that you're scared when you're not, you piddle yourself- But only slightly, and push the huge ESCAPE button with your nose. The escape pod shot out into space, and you were falling, spinning (Well, technically slowing down, due to retrograde and other KSP shit) toward the sun, spinning inward, closer.
"Oh no, we're going to burn to death!" Ishy said, despite technically being from a medieval setting and shouldn't know anything about astrophysics. You chalk it up to sorcery/psionics, and look out the window, as the sun grows closer and closer. Behind you, the exosuit jettisons into space, following you.

For a moment, you pause. And you know what must be done, taking away all player agency from your actions.

"Ishelda." You say...
>[] "Let's have a tea party before we die!"
[X] "Let's have a tea party before we die!"
Rolled 66

>[x] Other: "Let's have an erotic tea party before we die!"
[x] "Let's have a tea party!"
We will not die because during we will be accompanying our tea with the sun as a light snack.
"Let's have a tea party before we die!" You say.
"Of course!" Ishelda said, as Exa fucked up his typing because he's growing ever more inebrated. She drew out three teacups and a thermos, and started doing TEA WIZARDRY on it, slowly, ever so slowly brewing.
"This sucks." Your old body said, in Grayson's voice. "This body is terrible. Why I am I trapped in it?"
"Because Kaliel would be angry if I let his mind inside my body." Ishelda responded, focusing. Eventually, she handed you a small cup of tea.

Everything started growing warmer. You took a sip in your delicate (hah) ursine paws, and ... It was pretty good, actually. You were amazed that, despite the growing heat (which was growing despite the fact that it should take months to arrive to the sun), it seemed to make you feel better, healthier.

"I gave you the magic one." Ishelda saaid, and giggled. "It lets you drink anything. Even if it's billions of times larger than a planet or hotter than anything ever." She said.

You take another sip. It was almost better tahn before.
"... Why not make this an erotic tea party?" You ask.
"Because Kaliel would kill me." Ishelda said. "Since she's not here. Maybe next time."
Rolled 117

This body is awesome! Stick your head in the tea.
Rolled 66

rolling for DIRE MAGICS to teleport Kaliel here and get this erotic tea party started!
Rolled 47

"Oh, well let's just get her in on this party then."

"This body is awesome!" You say, and stick your head into the tea- as much as you can, because the teacup was very very tiny, and your head was very very big. Your nose got drenched in tea, which kind of hurt.

"You know what?" Grayson said, in your old body. "I'm taking my body back!"
"Hey, that's rude." Ishelda said, and poked the tiny cyberlightdrone in the nose. "No. Bad bear."
Grayson pouted, which luckily had no psionic reinforcement like a certain someone did.

Slowly, you made your way closer to the sun...

And with DIRE MAGICKS, you closed your eyes... And hit a double 6! Which is awesome!

A moment later, a red bird-thing ppeared, sitting there quietly.
"Kali!" Ishelda said. "You're here!"
"Dire magicks, babe." You say. "Let's get her in on this party."
"Okay!" Ishelda said, and handed an extra teacup to Kaliel.

You started laughing as the birdthing- which you learned was Kalak, due to Dire Magicks- started trying to sip at a teacup with a beak wholly unsuited to the action.

"... How about an erotic tea party?" Kaliel asked.


Also, she reminds you of Robin. A lot.


Some time later, you opened your eyes, back in your original body.

You... don't think you're interested in pseudopods anymore, you think, as you look down at the three sleeping abominations of tentacles and erogenous zones.
The escape pod's computer suddenly screeched. "Warning. Warning. We're all dead if you don't do something, Choseen One. You gotta fix this shit."
Wait, are you the chosen one, you ask yourself.
"Yes." Ishelda responded, still asleep, reading your mind.

The entrance to the pod dented, as something smashed into it, and your pod's external cameras showed you- it was the Bad Guy, all eight limbs trying to wrek their way in.
You looked down to the magic tea cup, and then to the escape pod's closed door. It dented again.
"I'm coming innnn~" The voice said. "Knock knock!"
Rolled 31

COme in! You must drink the tea. I promise it hasn't been poisoned.

"Come in!" You call. "You must drink the tea! I promise it hasn't been poisoned!" you call.
"Okay!" The suit said.

Then you realize that technically, you shouldn't have been able to hear it due to lack of oxygen outside.

THEN... You *spit* in the tea.
"Fucking blasphemy." Ishelda mumbled, still asleep due to your extreme prowess at erotic tea parties.

A moment later, the exosuit- and Bad Guy- was inside, and slammed the door behind them.

"SO." They said. "Where's this tea?"

You nudge the cup closer to them.
"Oooh, okay!" They said... and removed their helmet.

Underneath wasn't a young man, slightly chubby, like you'd thought.
It wasn't Dave.

Instead, it was a young girl, hair colored every color of the rainbow.
At least, you *think* it's a she, since she's too flat for you to be certain.

She took a sip.
"Pretty good, man!" She said. "Except for the spit, which is kinda yuck."

Behind you, the sun got warmer and warmer... You only had until next post to come up with a way to consume the sun or you'd all die!

why not use dire magicks to portal the escape pod with us in it to the station?
"Quick! Whatever your name is. Use your ENGINEERING SKILLS to make the suit fit me so I can breathe in space and eat the SUN!"
Because that isn't consuming the sun! That's the pussy 'avoid the sun' option!
Get it together, anon.
>"I gave you the magic one." Ishelda saaid, and giggled. "It lets you drink anything. Even if it's billions of times larger than a planet or hotter than anything ever." She said.
Nope I am completely stumped as to how we could consume the sun.

well then, why not become one with the sun through extraordinarily dire, magicks
"Quick, whatever your name is-"
"It's Amy." She said. "Duuh. Only the best romantic interest in any exa-quest ever."
"Quick, whatever your name is." You continue, ignoring her. "Use your ENGINEERING SKILLS to make the suit fit me so I can breathe in space!"
"Alright!" She said.

And then she did."

Now you were a tiny bio-crystalline cyborg in THE BESTEST EXOSUIT EVER KNOWN, due to whats-her-face's
Due to whats-her-face's engineering skills, you could now breathe in space!

Though you could before, with your cybody.

Then... You opened the door with your mechadrites (Mechadendrites, if we're using 40k, but we aren't! So they're only called Mechadrites) and shot yourself out, into space...

And slowly, you fell into the sun, protected with your alium power shields...

"Also, Exa's thinking of starting a sequel to Sorceress Quest eventually! How cool is that?!" Grayson asked, still asleep, but you ignored him.

Then... You opened your maw wide...

Rolled 117


Rolled 62

Use a straw.
Take out the cup, put the sun in the cup, drink the sun!
Rolled 11536

Forgot to dice!
"Yeah that's pretty cool, but personally I'm still looking to the next part of Vale Quest."
Rolled 34

"Speak for yourself, I would much rather Sorceress quest Three: Time Traveling Witchlings.
Rolled 220

"But I already know what happens at the end of that one."
You... Shirk the orders of the questmaster!
Finally, you disobey him, and not roll a single thing! Instead, you use your MIND to think up the smart things to do!
Which will be a big part of Exa's next quest!

"Yeah, that's pretty cool, but personally I'm still looking forward to the next part of Vale Quest." You say, in space, despite the fact that nobody can hear you.
"That's coming way before Sorceress Quest, don't worry." A myyysteeerious voice responded.
Then... You take out the teacup... And put a straw in it... And roll a bunch of times with dice that don't exist in reality!
None of them end up with a 144...
So with optical SCIENCE, you maul all of them into 144s!

And, spinning, you scoop up the sun in your teacup...

And take a sip of the sun, and....


Then you nudge the escape pod away from where the sun was, with a single tendril, finally your true self, and...

Open your eyes to see Surya, returning from it's trip, doing the flashy thing it does when it comes out of bubble drive.

Everyone inside is drunk, and it looks like Heather is nude.


Then you get an idea...

"How about an erotic tea party!" You cry, boosting your old/new body closer to Surya.


>Also, go ahead and ask me questions about what might go on next for my quests and stuff. Anything I say probably won't be valid, but go ahead and ask anyway!
Rolled 63

How many drinks have you had?
Are you making any new settings? Especially new stuff for Harrumph quests.
Will the next quest have fades to black?
Why is your break so long???
Also, forgot:

>Fade to black.
You open your eyes for a moment... And then wobble over to Kaliel again...
>Fade to black.
>Fade to black.
>Fade to black.
You wait a moment, and regain your breath, looking to the dragon again...
>Fade to black.
>Fade to black.

Only three!
>Are you making any new settings?
Not for Harrumph quests, but for my next one, yeah. Still working on it.
>Will the next quest have fades to black?
If you don't die, maybe. Work for it.
>Why is your break so long???
Because before the break I was questing for an entire goddamn year, mostly daily. I want some time to myself, so I can play skyrim and minecraft and shit.

do we get these fade to blacks in a pastebin?
Hahahaha no.
Which one is your next quest? It's been a while, a reminder would be good.

About how long are you planning on taking for personal time?

Who is more bubbly, Marigold or Heather?
Or Summer. Or the Half-elf Half-fae chick who's a friend of Tori's who's name I don't remember.
>Next Quest
I don't have a name for it yet, but it's going to be a relatively serious one. New setting, new magic system, new MC, and a refurbished version of Vale Quest's dice system. Being smart in combat will be more important than high rolls. If you're extremely clever, you can outsmart a nat 1, so to speak. Crits will be a lot less important.

>About how long are you planning on taking for personal time?

The rest of the summer, I'm thinking. Two months at the most. Might end up starting before then, though.

>Marigold or Heather?
Marigold, definitely. Heather has to rely on empathic psionics to be bubbly.

Her name is Persephone, and she's not very bubbly. Marigold surpasses Summer, too.

Persephone is going to be a big part of the next Vale Quest, too. but shh, don't tell anyone.
>"Exa's thinking of starting a sequel to Sorceress Quest eventually! How cool is that?!" Grayson asked
It already ended nicely and he'd probably just ruin it.

Also Grayson, could you go and fucking maul the twitter devs for dropping RSS support please?
It ended on a cliffhanger
And I'm allowed to fuck up my own creations, aren't I?

>Also Grayson, could you go and fucking maul the twitter devs for dropping RSS support please?

>Okay, I'm off to go play cards against humanity. you can usually find me at #Exabyte at Rizon if you really need to, but you probably don't. See y'all later, and try to sage so that the anti-quest-fags don't get their panties riding up.

>In which Exabyte becomes George Lucas.
>It ended on a cliffhanger
I'm shocked that you apparently know that there are other types of endings.
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>that picture that I made ages ago
I love you too.

... That's... actually a pretty good point, actually. Maybe next time the MC will die so it can have a definitive end.

I became George Lucas when it came to Space Cyborg.
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Oh, also, I still have this picture too.

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