The time for your involvement in nation building and spy games has thankfully come to an end. You understand how vital they are, but they are not things meant for a Paladin of the Caligo Clarus.

However, traveling north to find the Orc Tribes and trying to get them to march south for the United Free Kingdoms in order to fight the 500,000 strong army of the Phoenix Empire? That's more in your wheelhouse.

Wagon's been packed with supplies, and the other Dawnchasers have also gotten ready for some cold weather travel, with thick fur clothes and small heating charms.

>>25798199
Your allies are there to finish packing, check to make sure you aren't forgetting anything, and wish you well on your journey. Isen looks unhappy that he has to stay here and continue to be King Itzak.

Gregory, Adahn, and Ambrose assure you that the Schola and Arma Nitors will be in fighting shape when you return.

Jesse-May Prosper says that she'll keep her eye out and ear to the ground for the Kingfisher and his agents, and will use the whisper flute the first chance she gets if something urgent pops up.

Paladin Avery gives you a little more advice regarding the Orcs as he loads up some dried meat and other provisions onto Wagon. "Don't go as a group, or as a Paladin and her retinue. You're five individuals working together. They'd respect that more than one person who has four followers. That means either they're akin to property and can be taken from you, or that you're weak and need help from others, and thus not worthy of anything." He says. "Don't be afraid to hurt them without provocation. It's all about individual dominance and strength. Balles and I got respect because one night, we beat the hell out of two Orcs because they had seats closer to the fire. Because we could take them, and we wanted them, and we were strong enough to have them, then they were ours." He nods. "But they don't tolerate mistakes and they don't give apologies. They live in a land where one slip up means half of their tribe could die, or starve, or worse...be forced to go North. Yeah, don't...don't go any further North than you have to." He shivers at the memory. "So it's a 'If at First You Don't Succeed, You're Dead' mentality. Good luck." He says and heads back to the Manor.

A couple of minutes later, Granny and the girls come up for farewell hugs and good luck wishes, the old Naga just stares at you as the little ones coil and squeeze around you. There's a trace of fear in her eyes.

"How far North are you planning to go?" She asks quietly.

>>25798205
"As far as we have to. No more and no less."

Rolled 5

>>25798242
>"As far as we have to. No more and no less."

[x]+1

>>25798205
"North enough that I'm going to be thanking Mumei all the way for her coat."

>>25798242
+1

"North enough that I'm going to be thanking Mumei all the way for her coat." You say. "But as far as we have to no more, no less."

She nods. "Good. Don't." She shakes her head. "The Chimmeri once sent an expedition up there. Only one came back, and he didn't do anything but stare at the ocean after that. That and scream when he slept." She shivers. "Don't forget that up there, was where the Ghouls were born. Citadel and the Dramatae didn't make them."

She gives you a hug. "Be ready to fight a couple of Orcs, but don't let them fool you. They're savage, but not savages. They live in a savage place, and again...stay in the Tundra. DON'T go to the Ice."

A place where you have to become what you eat to survive. Sounds lovely. I'll make sure not to visit.

>>25798415
"I'll avoid it as much as I can, but I fear I'll end up with little choice before this trip is over"

>>25798415
"Sounds easy. Tundra, not ice, Tundra, not ice. Tundra..."

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>Thread started early enough for me to post a snake.
Little victories.

>>25798459
Ice does seem like a bad idea. We're pretty fuckhuge by now.

"Sounds easy. Tundra, not ice, Tundra, not ice. I'll avoid it as much as I can, but I fear I'll end up with little choice before this trip is over." You say.

Granny nods. "Knowing your life, probably."

"Come on, Ssen." Tricia says. "We want to try and make for Bronze Peak as soon as possible."

Lets ask Mage what he knows of the Ghoul's origins. Might help us prepare if we ever do go into the Ice.

>>25798557
"No rest etc. We need a new idiom."

It occurs to me that the orcs might take issue with our group composition even if we present ourselves as 5 individuals.

>>25798606
How so? Each of us individually is fairly kick-ass, assuming they respect magical strength as well as punching power.

>>25798606
I don't think orcs really give a fuck what you are, as long as you're strong.

That's the impression I'm getting, anyway.

"No rest etc. We need a new idiom." You say.

"Don't you mean saying?" Peri says with a smile.

"Oh, no." Mage groans. "Are you two REALLY going to do this? Ssen, are you going to make us be in eternal combat with you over the smallest syntax issue?"

>>25798664
And if not, well...Mage has been rather reluctant to give any of his courting ladies much of a chance, maybe he likes his women more savage?

>>25798664
>>25798691
Maybe I'm just paranoid.

>>25798707
Say nothing and keep getting ready

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>>25798707
I'm not making you do anything! I'm not forcing you all to be wrong!

>>25798782
>Leviathan logic

>>25798707
I thought Peri was smart! Makes sense though, Ssen is practically the language expert by now.

>>25798734
You say nothing and keep getting ready.

Mage just shakes his head and gets on Wagon.

Soon, you're all gather up and you're coiled up in Wagon, as comfortable as ever. You're actually very glad this hunk of junk has stayed with you, the wood's actually slightly grooved from all the wear of your tail.

Lea tugs on the reigns and Lightmare takes off.

"What are you looking at?" Tricia asks, Mari is flipping through a small journal.

"It's a record of Avery's trip. He gave it to me." Mari says.

"Not Ssen?"

"Avery encoded it, but I'm familiar with this old cypher." She says. "Alright, when he went last there were four dominant Orc Tribes. They identify themselves by tattoos, and are based around the Totem that their chiefs and Shamans answer too."

"Which is the one that will not try to kill us on sight?" Lea asks.

"Not sure...they all seem fairly grumpy." Mari says. "Tundra survival is harsh, and Orcs regularly have territorial conflicts as all it takes is a good rain or snow, then a river changes, and then a herd goes in a different direction. That means one tribe could starve, and other have extra food. Razor thin margins...and again and again the warning to not go any further north than need be." She shakes her head. "Okay, so as of 30 or so years ago the four largest totem tribes were Wolf, Boar, Hind, and Hawk. There's smaller ones too, but they're either upstarts or remnants of the fallen tribes that refuse to die."

>>25798865
"So we pray that this information is relevant. Lets just hope we've not bitten off more than we can chew. Now that's an idiom like the one we should be coming up with"

>>25798865
Some things to consider. How to get them to help us without saying 'help us.' As I'm pretty sure thats against their policy of strength even if we are outnumbered. Also what can we offer them in exchange for their warriors to fight the Phoenix Empire. Food? Land? I doubt they'd want gold.

>>25798932
We get them to help us by saying "You are going to do X" and then beating them to a pulp if they refuse.

Numbers mean nothing, they won't assist another orc because that would be an insult to both of them.

>>25798980
Yes, but we're going to have a bit of trouble gathering an army if we have to individually pummel every single orc we recruit. It'll just take too long.

>>25799016
This may fall under the category of the bridges we cross when we come to them.

>>25799016
So we find the most important looking ones and punch them in the dick. Ork hierarchy 101: whoever beats the boss is the boss.

>>25799058
but we're dealing with orcs not orks.

>>25799077
It's basically the same thing.

"So we pray that this information is relevant. Lets just hope we've not bitten off more than we can chew. Now that's an idiom like the one we should be coming up with." You say.

Travel along the main roads to and from Bronze Peak is getting kind of busy. You've had to pass not less than five different wagons and a bunch of runners, messengers, and just people, traveling between the two cities.

"Ah! Fuck." Mage swears when a messenger brid leaves a present on his head as another flock flies over head. "We really need to come up with some better means of communication." He says as he wipes a cloth through his hair.

"Well, you know what they say." Tricia says. "For some people, they sing."

Mage flips Tricia off and she laughs and sticks out her tongue.

Bronze Peak looks rather impressive when approached from the evening. There's a lot more exit tunnels, and smoke stacks even rising out of the mountain. You can see the red glow of industry and life coming from within, and the harpies soar around the mountain, enjoying the cool night air and the thermals given off by the mountains.

"A glowing red mountain belching smoke and surrounded by flying monsters, connected by a city of steel and smoke populated by monsters and all of it ruled by a usurper to the throne. We're fighting a plucky band of settlers who hold true to an ancient tradition that allows them to be at one with harmony, and their warrior wear shiny silver armor, spiffy swords, and pride themselves on honor. We are going to use blackpowder weapons, monster troops, and are buddy buddy with a terrorist leader, now ruler." Peri says. "You SURE we're still the good guys?" She's smiling when she asks it, though.

>>25799118
"My holy book says yes."

>>25799118
"Of course we are. No story could assemble such an impressive army of cliches without a shitty, predictable twist after all."

>>25799118
"Can never be too sure Persephone. Hmmm. Should've brought Paladin Toll, she could've been our foul mouthed interpreter."

>>25799194
Arrows aren't good diplomatic tools.

>>25799224
Tell that to the English. Which we now are.

Also, we need to remember this; since they're gonna view the party as individuals, not only will Ssen have to prove herself at every opportunity instead of letting someone else (so, Lea or Mage) do it for her...but they will also have to do the same. Things are probably gonna get stressful.

>>25799194
I presume you meant interpreter for the orcs, but my brain suddenly decided to imagine Toll as our interpreter with the Phoenix Empire...

>>25799224
They are for Tribal Randian Objectivists.

>>25799247
Oh. That comes later.

>>25799241
It isn't our fault our party consists almost entirely of squishies We're the most durable person and we're still more evade tank than meatshield. Mage is a mage, Peri/Mari is some sort of rogue, Lea is a monk and Tricia is a druid.

Rolled 20

>>25799173
[x] +1

>>25799315
This bodes ill.

>>25799315
why you gotta roll son?

>>25799301
Goddammit, I'd forgotten about that part. If one of the challenges we have to endure to get their help is sitting through a reading of their fan-fiction with 100-page-long speeches just as pointless and interminable as the original, I say we just kill them all and skip straight to plan B.

>>25799118
'Don't forget about the Phoenix Empire having a place for everyone...'

>>25799402
Remind me, what's plan B again?

>>25799427
Dealing with Citadel.

>>25799427
Blow a hole in the top of Citadel, rescue original army. And/or just kill all the Phoenix Empire soldiers ourselves, one by one. And/or just killing ourselves now. Any of those is a better option than "Look at me prove how super-righteous my philosophical garbage is by having all these fictional people fall to their knees at hearing the One True Truth!"

>>25799402
Are you kidding? Leviathans thrive on pointless, interminable 100 page long speeches. We'll have the orcs under our banner by the weekend.

"My holy book says yes." You say.

"Not the best comment to install confidence." Mage says as you all stable Lightmare and Wagon.

"Well, no story could assemble such an impressive army of cliches without a shitty, predictable twist after all. But, you can never be too sure Persephone. Hmmm. Should've brought Paladin Toll, she could've been our foul mouthed interpreter."

"We're trying to get the Orcs to fight the Empire, NOT us." Lea says.

You book a room at Travellers' and get some rest. You pushed Lightmare to get here fast, so you're tired, it's late, and the Bronze Bank, Balles and Paul have closed up and gone to bed.

It's a cool night, so you're glad that you have Tricia to wrap around. You're also glad for a few other skills Tricia has now, but that's private.

You dream.

(cont)

>>25799749
It's the Blank Space again. The hard wooden, black, floor. The light from overhead that you can't see. For some reason though, this time it's very very cold.

Footsteps from behind you, you turn to look. It's not anyone you know. You really can't spot them at all. They're just out in the darkness enough to be seen as a presence, but not as a person.

The figure points to one side. The light shifts and you see a nasty, fat bird, sitting upon a nest. It's one of the most disgusting things you've seen. Surrounding it are a flock of little birds, and a larger one. They all flicker and gleam, like they were made of brass or sliver. They're trying to rip the ugly bird's nest apart.

The figure in the shadow points in the other direction. The light shifts. You see three figures, standing there talking. A fan in a fathered coat that's the same as the feathers of the Ugly Bird, the Fifth, and a winged statue made of wood shards, plaster, and stone. It has an unmistakably familiar mask on it's face. You see them shake hands in agreement.

The light swings back.

"You're in more danger now, than you've ever been in." The figure says.

It's getting colder in the blank space.

(cont)

>>25799765
"We can barely nudge or move things in the Tundra." The figure continues. "And worse, once you reach the Ice...then you leave us...and we step aside for..." He nods behind you.

Another figure approaches. Unlike the other person who is a slightly lit figure in shadow, this thing IS a shadow. Light is sucked into their skin, and just looking at him causes your mind to hurt as it's looking into something as bright as the sun, but this one hurts your image by sucking everything away from your sight, and leaving nothing but emptiness.

"It can't hurt you. Not unless you're out on the ice, on one of the Ice-Locked Islands...but...not that THAT rules has ever given him trouble." The figure in the shadows says. "I'm sorry."

The Dark Figure has reached you. You feel your saliva freeze in your mouth it's so cold. He's taller than you are, he'll ALWAYS be taller than you are. So he bends down next to your ear, and whispers.

"Thank you."

You awake with a start and covered in a cold sweat, and when you wipe your forehead, you pull away a hand of frost crystals.

Rolled 17

>>25799775

Well shit. The Ice is where the Dragon of Shadows is.

>>25799749
'Toll is quite Orcish already, though, isn't she? We probably should have asked her to come. She might even have fun doing it.'

>>25799775
Oh joy, that bastard again.

god damnit. more land spirits.

Also Peace IS citadel more or less right now.

>>25799775
Well that was unpleasant. Best cuddle Tricia and consider how to deal with this. At least we have some experience with dragons by now.

For now, make sure to tell the party when morning arrives.

>>25799775
If he is taller than you, remember this. His groin is closer to your fist/claw level.

Also this, WELCOME BACK ECHO!!!

So we're all in agreement that the majority of higher beings in this setting are all dicks?

>>25799891
We'll just have to kill or otherwise break all of them one by one.

>>25799891
It isn't easy, being a paladin in a world of dickass gods.

Actually makes me think of Pulp Fantasy.

>>25799820
Actually, from what you can remember, the Dragon Who Was Of Shadows was NOTHING like the Dark Man. He was just another thug in a mask, and he's stuck in Dark Peaks, slowly dying and being watched by Old One.

This thing...that thing...was something New. New to you at least.

>>25799765
Awww fuck, The Fifth and Citadel are conspiring.

Twilight seems alright, my guess is its one of the surpressed land spirits that survived Citadel and is slowly coming back.

Ugly Bird is most likely the original Phoenix Empire while Gleaming birds are its slaves, but apparently barely chained. Remember how our Father's quest was to stop Citadel from infecting all the other cities with a macguffin? The Phoenix probably succeeded. Winged Statue is probably Peace\Citadel... as for the one in the cape? My guess is the Ettins.

>>25799891
Yes, we have reached that conclusion.

Now let's kill all of the gods, for the crime of being assholes.

>>25799991
We still need to turn our attempted deicide into full deicide.

No sense in doing something half way.

>>25799991
Pretty much. I am entirely sick of these abstract concepts/land spirits/'gods' fucking around with people and playing puppeteer from the shadows. They will never lead to anything good, even if they appear benevolent.

All gods must die.

Rolled 17

>>25799812

Did you mean to quote >>25799957 instead?

>>25799957
Shit, we didn't go and create a new land spirit, did we? Radical Change or something?

>>25800074
Stop fucking rolling jesus fucking christ.

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Rolled 20

>>25800104

"You okay?" Tricia asks as she finishes getting dressed and washing her face. "You're paler than usual. Also, you squirmed a lot last night. I had to slip out. Bad dreams again?

"Oh, Lea's down stairs keeping food ready for us. She said that Balles came by, same thing that Avery said. 'Don't show weakness' 'Be singular' 'Don't. Go. North.' I wonder if the Orcs are as afraid of the Ice Sea as the Paladins are?"

>>25799939
>>25799991
>>25800010
>>25800071

So wait. We set off with the goal of 'distraction from father's death' and decided to bring light to the world. Then we became Satan when we wounded god to the point where it couldn't exert control. And our new goal is to kill that god outright before moving on to killing every other god on the pretence that they are all colossal assholes?

Talk about setting your sights high.

>>25800135
"We'll see, won't we."

>>25800115
die in a fire
>>25800141
pretty much
>>25800135
"I think Granny's warning about the ice is a bit more than she knows. Something like the Fifth is up there."

>>25800135
You know the dreams I get? With the Fifth and all that? Well there are more of them now. Lets See I saw the Spirit of the Ice. Some Shadowy guy, Citadel wearing Peace's mask. Lots of birds. The Fifth. And probably the recently conquered Ettins.

>>25800135
"I'm pretty sure I understand what they mean.

Let's not go north. I think not going north is a really good idea."

>>25800135
"It could be they just never had the motivation. And sorry about last night. I just had some..LOOK A DISTRACTION!"

>>25800135
"Ah, bad dream. Sure would be nice to have bad dreams that were merely representations of worries and fears and nothing more, for once."

>>25800141
>pretence
but they are in fact all colossal assholes. except the light, clearly.

>>25800206
The light has been manipulating us and everything we've been involved in from the beginning.

We just don't know it. Remember Echo's post?

>>25800135
"Answer me something. Why do these spirits and gods and such insist on using my head as a political staging ground? Honestly, it was bad enough when I had The Fifth chatting in my dreams, now I've got eldritchian nightmares and mysterious collective entities warning me about going north and something about not going onto the ice."

...Why are you looking at me like that?"

Hey, Echo. Just want to say, this entire quest has been a most thoroughly enjoyable read.

One item of note that's bugged me for the past 30+ threads, tho:
>>25798171
>Persephone, a 22-year old thief/ex-guerllia fighter (She goes by Peri)
>ex-guerllia fighter

Just an observation. Please, continue with the awesome.

>>25800221
nonsense. you a heretic, son?

>>25800221
Fucking puppeteers. If the light is pulling this shit as well, then it needs to go. When I say that all gods need to die, I mean *all* gods. Even the supposedly benevolent ones. Nothing is allowed to pull the strings, full stop. Shatter destiny and give people control over their own fate, destroy anything which says otherwise, and leave the plans of anybody who thinks they can stop it in a smouldering ruin, along with their twisted ambitions.

>>25800185
Honestly, between this and guilt driven nightmares I think I'll take the Eldritch gods, thank you.

I mean, compared to some of the shit she COULD be having nightmares about.

>>25800185
"Ah, bad dream. Sure would be nice to have bad dreams that were merely representations of worries and fears and nothing more, for once." You say as you get up and get yourself washed, clothed and ready.

"Answer me something. Why do these spirits and gods and such insist on using my head as a political staging ground? Honestly, it was bad enough when I had The Fifth chatting in my dreams, now I've got eldritchian nightmares and mysterious collective entities warning me about going north and something about not going onto the ice.

"...Why are you looking at me like that?"

Tricia shakes her head, smiles and kisses your cheek. "Just remember, we could have been a fur trapper and bee keeper."

You head down the stairs. "Anyway, you're the one with the totally non-human brain, maybe it's a magic thing, or a Paladin thing." She shrugs. "Ask Mage, he got rid of too many of his to-do items by pawning them off on the Schola Nitor. He needs things to do or he gets twitchy and thinks crazy things like retiring and growing a garden."

"Better spreading fertilizer than becoming it." Mage grouses. "Morning guys." He motions you two over to the table, where they have food and maps spread out. Mmmm, bacon, ham, sausage, and soft boiled eggs with warm runny yolk. You have to enjoy these moments, and apparently you personally should enjoy them more as your diet as a carnivore allows no guilt over this greasy, fatty, runny yolk breakfast.

"So, we have some options from here." Mari says. "We can charge straight up through the woods, which will be slow going, and probably dangerous, not to mention that we can easily be ambushed, as well as walk right into an Orc territory and not know it until they've filled us with arrows."

"Why are we even considering that plan then?" Tricia asks.

"Because if we loop around and go along the mountains and then the coast to the tundra plains, we'll end up here." She points on the map. "Right on the edge of the Ice Sea."

>>25800428
Tell them about the dream! Certainly it's too vague to plan around for now (besides 'stay on tundra, not ice' which we knew), but you don't hide shit from the party.

>>25800428
As long as we don't actually go ON the ice we should be fine. I think.

Though I did just get a warning from a new Land Spirit that the Spirit of the Ice doesn't play by the rules. SO being near it might be bad.

>>25800428
"I say charge in. Any issues up near the ice sea could put us in it and that is not going to be fun in the slightest"

>>25800428
"NOPE.

Nope, nope nope nope.

Not going near the Ice Sea. Absolutely not. I'll take being filled with arrows, thank you very much."

>>25800428
"You know something, being ambushed by the Orcs might not be so bad. If we're careful and smart we can turn the ambush against them and so prove our strength.

Also, Tricia, we're going to get you a Clang of your own and teach you to use him."

>>25800541
She's got bug druid powers, she don't need no man.

Also the bed is getting crowded and we're only getting bigger

>>25800428
This might be a stupid question... but why do we have to go around the mountain? I mean...We've already climbed one...

>>25800428
"How long would we be on the edge, assuming Lightmare stops for absolutely nothing. And is that faster than going through the woods?"

>>25800576
because it's longer and colder and we have big snake lungs that need something that isn't thin mountain air.

>>25800576
You have a point. Not the climbing bit, thats stupid. Mage can collapse the mountain. When we meet some orcs we can just point to where the mountain used to be get instant respect.

>>25800616
Assuming they don't live at the base of said mountain and were wiped out almost entirely by the ensuing muslide.

>>25800602
>>25800616
I'm just saying, if we want to be discreet until we get there, it might be a plan. A pain in the ass of course, but it might just work.

>>25800616
We've done enough ecological damage. Think of the goats!

Juicy delicious goats.

"I say charge in. We are not going near the Ice Sea. Absolutely not. I'll take being filled with arrows, thank you very much." You say. "Being ambushed by the Orcs might not be so bad. If we're careful and smart we can turn the ambush against them and so prove our strength."

"The mighty Paladin Serpent afraid of an ominous threat?" Lea says with a smile. "Thought we charged headlong at those."

"Not after this dream I had." You say. You explain the dream to the others.

"Wonderful." Mage groans. "Just...just wonderful."

"The woods it is, then." Peri says.

You all leave Bronze Peak, ready Wagon and Lightmare, and take off into the Northern Woods.

For the first few miles, there's nothing but the noisy silence of wildlife. After a bit, you start to see traces of snow clumped around trees. You've left the comfort of the Kingdom, and are now in the North. Already you're thankful for Mumei's Maiden Gown.

Roll 1d20. Lower is better.

>>25800644
Then we go to the rest of the tribes and mention how mage singlehandedly wiped out the first tribe.

Rolled 6

>>25800729
Dice ahoy!

Rolled 11

>>25800729
Success!

Rolled 1

>>25800740
Look. We're up against 500,000 assholes from assholia, lets not kill any potential recruits/conscripts that we came here for.

>>25800729
I'm sorry!

Rolled 6

>>25800729

>>25800787
I fucking love you

>>25800787
we just had something good happen

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>This is actually what is underneath the Ice Sea.

>>25800787
QuickQuick is certainly living up to his name...
1 on a travel roll.

>>25800787
It's actually...not unpleasant. Lightmare even has decent footing, and you pass through the first part of the forest, quickly and with no problems whatsoever you make great time too...you're about two fifths of the way through until you reach the open tundra plains.

>>25800831
After these long messages we'll be right back.

>>25800801
No man, I love you.

>>25800870
Lets not get too homoerotic while Echo is away.

>>25800891
But that's half the fun of this quest!

>>25800891
Where do you think you are?

>>25801599
>>25801711
The operative word was too

I'm really late but.

> Trading that one spy you wanted to humiliate for two rubies instead of 2 kegs of rice wine

Wish I was there last thread, catching up now.

saging because not a proper vote for whats going on right now

>lamia child quest is back
Oh shit what did I miss

>>25802653
Bad dreams, snark and lesbians

the usual.

>>25802698
Well, thankfully it's a commercial break, so I can get caught up as quickly as I can.

Questions: Did we A. ever get our spear looked at? That was the original reason we even went to Cai, because we've not maintained beacon in a long while. and B. what should we bring back as a souveneir for Ssai and Ssah? I'm thinking like, some battle axes. Or whatever Orks have.

>>25802151
Yeah, there's all sorts of little witticisms I think of after the fact. Like how before in this thread, it would have been good to give a "Look, I'll charge into any threat headlong, sure, as long as the threat isn't the COLD."

Oh well, still good enough.

>>25800831
"I spy with my eye something... white"

Snow? Hah, no, it was the rabbit over there, I win again.

>>25803114
I think we have an advantage in that department

"I spy with my eye something...white." You say.

"Snow."
"Rabbit."
"Cloud."
"Mushroom."
"If it's those things growing from the trees, isn't it a fungus?"
"Don't start!"
"Spiderweb."

"Wait, spiderwebs are grey, or clear." Mari says.

"Not these." Mage points ahead.

Marvelous, a brand new form of the Myriad Darknesses is before you. The trees are now starting to be covered from top to bottom in thick white spiderwebs. You see little clumps as large as peaches hang from the trees and you can feel little gossamer threads pass over your face.

Everyone turns to look at Tricia.

She closes her eyes and then opens them with a frown. "Weird...I don't hear anyone. They could be sleeping. It is pretty cold, and bright...bugs come out during dusk, so they're probably waiting for something to get caught in the webs so they can eat."

"Hands up if you just had a horrible mental image." Mage say, holding up a hand.

Mari/Peri raise both their hands, and slowly Lea holds up her own.

Rolled 7

>>25803372
[x] Raise your own hand

>>25803372
"You know, I think mage wins the game, that's a pretty good thing to spy."

"I don't suppose it would be an incredible breech of spider manners to just sort of cut through? I'd like to use as smooth a path as I can for our poor old wagon."

>>25803423
mage said horrible, not sexual

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39 KB JPG

>>25803423
hmmmmM. Nope. Not getting it.

>>25803372
"No comment"

>>25803455
... yes, perfect

>>25803372
I say just shrug. Ssen tried eating a wolf whole once. Can't be any worst than that to her.

>>25803372
{x}Don't raise own hand

Resist the temptation to eat one of those delicious peach clumps. Sure, eating eggs is all fun and games for the first few, until BAM. one of them is full of baby spiders.

>>25803467
I couldn't think of anything more filled with innuendo, please assist.
>>25803477
I rather prefer innuendo at this point.

>>25803372
The webs are clearly made by cute spidergirls who Tricia can't use her druid power on because they're sapient and count as people not animals. They will guide us through the forest and hit on Mage.

>>25803527
no no no, spidergirls don't exist, that's preposterous. Why, next you'll be suggesting some kind of DARKENED elf.

>>25803527
Or so claims PETS (People for the Ethical Treatment of Spiders).

>>25803570
Why did we snoop in Tricia's mail again?

So, I've come to a decision on what is probably the best thing to do to gain the respect of the orcs.

Have one of the leaders listen to one of our stories or some of our jokes. All the way through. This will probably involve disarming them and holding them down.

You smile at Tricia. "No comment."

Tricia rolls her eyes.

"You know, I think Mage wins the game, that's a pretty good thing to spy.

"So, I don't suppose it would be an incredible breech of spider manners to just sort of cut through? I'd like to use as smooth a path as I can for our poor old wagon."

Tricia shrugs. "A web is a web, they're designed to catch food. As long as we don't get caught in one and wriggle like a moth in it, it's no big deal. They'll make others." She eyes the lumpy things. "Don't...don't touch those though. That's either leftovers or an egg sac, either way, unpleasant."

"Spiders don't take any pride in their work?" Lea asks, curious.

"Well, to a spider the idea of pride would be a web that caught a lot of food regularly, and if it was a different web spun in the same place two or three times, then it's thought of as the same web." She shrugs. "Insects are easy to understand, just have to remember that I'm not one of them..." She looks at her hand and then looks at you and smiles. "And I know there's irony dripping from every part of that statement...but yeah." She nods. "I'm me. One of the problem with Wasp Witches is that they get all anti-social and crap. Maybe it's good my folks forced me to be friends with you." She gives you a wink. "They said I wouldn't get honey for a week if I didn't go out and play with the snake girl."

Roll 1d20, lower is better.

Rolled 10

>>25803622

Rolling

Rolled 6

>>25803622

Rolled 13

>>25803622

>>25803622
"And look where that got you"

Rolled 14

>>25803622
Hit the floor dice

>>25803622
"Oh, so it was arranged from the start, eh? What other grand master schemes have your so called 'parents' in store for us?"

Airquotes around the parents are intended.

Rolled 2

>>25803622
Oh dear...

>>25803662
You head through the webbed wood as promptly as possible. However, you do end up getting caught up in a mass of webbing that blocked a large mass of branches and roots. Lightmare has gotten tangled up in the mass and you have to figure out a way to get him out.

There's cutting, burning, magic, etc. etc. You have plenty of options. Tricia still doesn't detect any huge problems coming your way. Though she says that letting Lightmare thrash is fine. Spiders only go out when the prey STOPS moving, that means it can be subdued for dinner time.

So...you've got a large mass of webs and some thick branches that can't just be pushed aside. Solutions?

>>25803874
>solutions?
Let's cut nightmare out before the webs catch on fire. Seriously, the webs are attached to the trees, which means if they're on him too long and go up, the TREES go up, and then all the spiders and baby spiders go up, then the local orcs go up....

>>25803874
Cut. Tricia might not like the results of lighting everything up

>>25803874
Don't we have a very sharp sword designed for cutting things? Let's use it to cut things.

>>25803874
If Mage can cut it with magic go for it or have Tricia make a spider dismantle the web. I feel that burning it would attract something.

>>25803874
Let Lightmare thrash and use Beacon to cut the webs above our horse. Peri and Tricia can cut the webs on the sides. Lea can calm Lightmare down once we are nearly done and Mage can be the lookout.

>>25803932
>>25803933
>>25803979
But what if our very important weapons get stuck in the web?

>>25804023
spit clear on them.

>>25804079
Clear is explicitly bad for our weapons. Use White - it should be better for our weapons but still nasty to anything organic-derived, like these webs.

>>25804079
Why don't we just spit clear onto the web?

>>25804139
whichever works bests then.
>>25804149
The weapons are stuck in web, spitting on them would hit the webs in question.

>>25804149
.... *facepalm*
Changing my vote from >>25803933 to this.

>>25804167
.... What? The weapons aren't stuck in anything, we still haven't decided what to do yet.

>>25804195
We are plotting a course of action in case they did get caught.

We don't have enough venom to clear the way for all of us.

>>25804149
Because that would get acidic venom all over Lightmare, and I don't think he would appreciate that.

>>25804239
Also, if you wish to use clear, keep in mind that you're spraying acid around the branches and webs that your horse is currently struggling in.

Also, for weapons, you have: Peri's Kingfisher Silence Knives, Tricia's Amber Sickle, Beacon, Soma, some regular knives for non-combat purposes.

>>25804289
I thought Soma was at Stone Hall Caligo Clarus HQ? No matter, use Soma.

>>25804289
Might as well use the regular knives then.

Also how resistant to fire is Lightmare?

>>25804289
Let's just use our knives. They're just webs, and if we're careful, we might even get a free net out of the deal.

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>>25804329
Honestly I'm surprised he's not caught the webs on fire himself yet.

>>25804354
Yeah what the hell is with that?

>>25804367
He's smart enough to realise he's currently wrapped in the webs and hence would set himself on fire too?

>>25804414
>>25804367
the elves DID tell us he represents nature or some shit like that. Maybe he doesn't want to burn down the forest?

>>25804414
I think he might be immune to fire.

Rolled 3

>>25804367
Bravo for catching it!

"Hey, how come Lightmare's mane hasn't caught the webs or branches on fire yet?" You ask as you get out some of the skinning knives.

"That is weird." Lea says.

"How DO Lightmare's flames work anyway?" Tricia asks, looking at Mage.

"Magic babble part of the answer aside, they're like retractable quills." He says. "Hang on..." He looks around the area as you start to saw through the ticker branches.

>>25804463
That roll feels ominous

>>25804463
"So, as long as he doesn't get spooked, we won't catch on fire? Why, what could go wrong?"

>>25804490
At least it's a d8 and not a d20... still, there's all sorts of bad things that could be, yes.

>>25804517
And so we wait

>>25804463
"Think I found something!" Mage says.

You go to look as Lea takes over saw duty.

Mage is pointing up the tree a bit. "That's a barrier rune."

You can vaguely see something up there, you certainly see it glowing.

"It must have been carved back when this tree was shorter, and then it rose up when the tree grew." Mage says.

"So, what's it do?" Peri asks.

Mage shrugs. "Well, it's an old rune, and barrier runes need to form a barrier, but I'm guessing since this one is so old, that the runes, wherever they are, are out of alignment. Probably the thing that's causing Lightmare's mane to go on the fritz."

"So, we're on Orc territory then?" Mari asks.

Mage shrugs. "Dunno, do Orks use runes?"

Mari shrugs. "Probably, but so do a lot of races."

"Of course, that's not the upsetting thing about this." Mage sighs. This rune is on the North side of the tree."

"It's for keeping something from coming South, not from people coming North, isn't it?" Tricia asks.

Mage nods. "Yep."

>>25804490
>>25804517
honestly, I'm not so worried here. Worst case scenario is we ruin the lives of some spiders. I mean, that's bad, but at least we're not forever destroying their eternal soul(bug soul?)

>>25804571
"So can you disable it without everyone knowing we're here?"

>>25804571
"See? Nobody wants the north coming on down south, all the northerners are generally grumpier than southerners, the extreme north is some kind of deathzone, it all proves my point- The cold itself is some kind of grand darkness and must be stopped."

"So can you disable it without everyone knowing we're here?" You say.

"Can't climb trees." He says. "Also, are we sure that we want to let Lightmare set fire to the LARGE amount of spiderwebs that he's covered in, not to mention are also all around us?"

"Quit worrying Mage." Peri says. "I've done runes before, I can knock it out easy enough. Plus I can climb, no problem."

"It'll take us about fifteen minutes to saw through this stuff." Lea says.

That'll put you about ten or so minutes before dusk...feeding time.

>>25804585
These are massive webs. Big enough and strong enough to ensnare a magical superhorse. *Worst* case scenario, some gigantic magic spiders ruin *our* lives.

>>25804736
We're immune to to their venom as long as they aren't magic and Tricia can probably do something.

We'll be fine

>>25804741
eh, I suppose. I guess I should be more worried for our friends sake- they're not 800 pounds and immune to poison.
>>25804736
"Go for it, if you think you can get up there without getting stuck. Last thing I need is two things to pull out of the web."

>>25804786
And then suddenly demon spiders that rape everything.

>>25804807
We joked about things in our cloaca before. It's not a joke anymore.

>>25804736
"Don't worry mage, everything will be fine and nobody will be on fire other than the horse, who is supposed to be on fire. We certainly won't have flaming spiders fighting with us."

>>25804736
Can we use white to hasten the process?

>>25804786
Most spiders aren't actually all that venomous, you know. They just have these big sharp jaws that they chop their prey into pieces with.

>>25804913
Not okay then

Rolled 6

>>25804786
>>25804800
>>25804892

"Don't worry mage, everything will be fine and nobody will be on fire other than the horse, who is supposed to be on fire. We certainly won't have flaming spiders fighting with us." You say, then turn to Peri.

"Go for it, if you think you can get up there without getting stuck. Last thing I need is two things to pull out of the web."

Peri nods and starts to climb up the tree. She does it gracefully and lets out a low whistle. "Hang on...I'm getting a quick sketch of this. I want Mage and Mari to see it."

"Why can't Mari see it now?" Tricia asks.

"She can't climb like I can yet. Okay, sundering the rune. Get clear, Lea!"

Lea tries to brush some of the heavier spiderwebs away before backing up. "Okay! Go for it!"

>>25804991
Absolutely nothing can go wrong here.

>>25804991
Well that roll is almost picture perfect of fucking ominous.

>>25805048
at least it's not raining.

>>25804991
There's a soft popping and a cracking. Peri slides down the tree and you see Lightmare rip himself free of the webs and branches.

Unfortunately, your horse also has started a fire. The webs that are wrapped around some of the trees is igniting, and it's spreading. You see a tree start to go up in smoke, and then the fire leaps from one clump of webs to another.

"Back in the wagon!" Lea shouts. "Now!"

You all scramble to get back in side the wagon and Lea takes off, you look behind you and see two on fire trees seem to spit out sparks...no...not sparks, that's a giant mass of on-fire spiders. Other, non-alight trees also start to vomit forth the hordes of arachnids living within them. There's no big ones, just hundreds upon thousands of small ones.

"What the-" Tricia says. "That's not right!"

"Faster!" Mari says. "Faster is needed!"

You can try to make Lightmare go for broke, or you can ditch stuff to ensure you get away from the spider hordes and the fire.

>>25805093
We do need our stuff, stuff is good.

Go for broke

>>25805093
Honestly, I don't think we have much that's very heavy, other than ourselves. We travel light. Our only choice is to mash on them lightmare reigns so he goes faster.

"Don't worry, they may be on fire spiders who want to fight us, but at least they're not giant on fire spiders who want to fight us!"

Honestly, it should be easy to outrun the spiders. The hardest part is outrunning the fire, especially since lightmare may or may not be starting more fires as we go along.

>>25805093
Just stay there. It's nice and warm. I'm sure the spiders are too busy being on fire to attack.

>>25805192
Let's get out of the epicenter of the fire before we turn around to warm ourselves on it. A lot of our best stuff is flammable, like wagon.

>>25805093
Keep the things. We need the things as a cold adverse lamina. Don't want to catch some weird sickness.

Also maybe Mage can burn more spiders.

"What's not right? It's not a trip anywhere without something actively trying to kill us on the road!"

>>25805132
>>25805171
>>25805255

"PUNCH IT!" You yell.

"YAH!" Lea shouts and cracks the reigns to Lightmare.

Lightmare is causing more flame as you go, but the goal is that shallow looking river. You cross that and you'll be out of the danger of the fire and the spiders...you hope. Either way you'll have a clearer path.

Roll 3d20 to hit a target number.

>>25805093
Full speed ahead!

Rolled 5, 15, 4 = 24

>>25805411
Lets roll

Rolled 4, 14, 17 = 35

>>25805411
GOGOGOGo!

Rolled 2, 18, 20 = 40

>>25805411

>>25805447
Nice 20

I think we're golden

"What's not right? It's not a trip anywhere without something actively trying to kill us on the road!" You shout.

"These aren't native spiders! LEFT LEFT GO LEFT!" She shrieks as the Wagon banks hard.

"They're supposed to be living in caves or...or rafters. It's too wet here!" She shakes her head.

Rolled 8, 2, 16 = 26

>>25805411
Make it so Number 1

>>25805457
my guess is that they were planted here as part of the border gaurd, along with those runes.

>>25805457
"So we've run into the pet project of someone who is a very poor study of arachnology?"

>>25805457
"So, What, we just burned down some tourists?"

>>25805457
>These aren't native spiders
That's not the problem. What's not right is that they are not cute spidergirls. We already have the best insect druid right next to us, and we've already done two as enemy encounters as well, so we don't really need to find another one.

"So we've run into the pet project of someone who is a very poor study of arachnology or did we just burn down some tourists?"

"Well, either way, I think we just made things a LOT more pleasant for them!" Mage says.

You blast through the fire, swarms of spiders, and swarms of on spiders that are on fire. The flames never really get that close to you, but you certainly feel the heat, also, you're never going to be able to get the sight of Wagon's wheels being covered in spider blood and corpses.

You hit the river with a harsh THUD and a huge splash. You all turn around and see the flames pour smoke into the sky as that part of the Northen Woods gets set ablaze.

"Well, there goes any traces of stealth." Mage says.

Tricia shakes her head. "That's also not right."

"What now?" Mari asks.

"That fire went up WAY too fast." She says. "Even with the webs, it went across the ground cover way too swiftly. That only happens...oh fuck." She winces. "Fucking dumbasses."

Rolled 11, 18, 18 = 47

>>25805713
"Did we foil somebodies plan inadvertently?"

>>25805713
*put a hand on her shoulder* "Who now?"

>>25805713
"I hope you aren't talking about us. Burning down a perfectly good spider forest is already enough to feel stupid about."

>>25805713
"Yeah, what did those idiots do that for?"

>>25805713
"What did we do?

WHAT DID WE DOOOOO?"

>>25805713
"Why is it that whenever we go through a place of natural beauty, it always ends up being completely destroyed?"

>>25805810
That's easy. The natural beauty just can't stand up to our beauty.

You put a hand on her shoulder. "I hope you aren't talking about us. Burning down a perfectly good spider forest is already enough to feel stupid about.

"So, who are we talking about now? Did we foil somebodies plan inadvertently?"

She shakes her head. "Judging by the number of spiders and the barrier rune, we've just barely scratched the surface."

"Skip to the explanation part, now." Peri says.

"Stupid druids." She says. "Mis-placed spiders, runes placed on still growing trees, and not allowing natural fires to clear the underbrush and a host of other stupid sins that I'm seeing right around us." She gestures to the woods. "Dad would flip out about this place."

"What's wrong now?" Lea asks.

"Invasive species. This ivy from all the vines...yeah, they must have taken it from further south and planted it here." She shakes her head. "This entire section of the woods is a death trap because of some stupid druids. They get the Call, and then they're all about nature and helping cute little animals and cute little spiders and shit like that. They'd let the fox starve to spare the hare, and then you have a woods filled with hares EATING everything." She shakes her head.

"Maybe a Druid got Citadel in their brain and took off up here?" Mari suggests.

"Maybe..." She frowns as she looks at the vines. "Either way, I think we can follow these things to their Dwelling. Stop them from doing more damage."

She shakes her head. "But we don't have time for this crap. I can guide us out of here and into the tundra plains. Now that I know what to watch out for."

>>25805713
you know what this is, we probably just burned the "spider clan" or orcs.

>>25805859
I dunno, I thought we were around a 5-7ish, not a full 10 or anything. Especially with all the scarring and armor. Unless you're into that kind of thing (Isen)

>>25806009
We aren't called beautiful ones for nothing

maybe

>>25805979
"So, Tricia, how bad can these things get if we don't intervene? I'm of the mind that we let stupid people do stupid things as long as they don't, I don't know, cause grand famine to the entire region or something."

Would the druids just come to us? I mean, we DID set a fire in their stupid garden.

>>25805979
"Hmm, was your father famous among the druid crowd? We could leverage on his name and you being an insect druid who can never and will never go insane, to talk to them and stop them from being stupidly retarded and retardedly stupid. If not then continue mission then."

>>25806009
Everyone knows we killed peace by being prettier.

>>25806153
eh, I suppose we could. I mean it would only take us like half a day to go yell at the druid and then leave. Maybe he'll learn his lesson.

"So, Tricia, how bad can these things get if we don't intervene? I'm of the mind that we let stupid people do stupid things as long as they don't, I don't know, cause grand famine to the entire region or something." You say.

Tricia shrugs. "They can be pretty harmful, you saw how much of the woods those spiders covered. Dad said that the rabbit example I gave you ruined like thirty to forty acres of forest, and was starting to effect the farmland...and then the rabbits died out themselves." She shakes her head. "Dad thought they had eaten something poisonous to their system...which may be, or Citadel wiped 'em out." She shrugs.

"Hmm, was your father famous among the druid crowd? We could leverage on his name and you being an insect druid who can never and will never go insane, to talk to them and stop them from being stupidly retarded and retardedly stupid. If not then continue mission then." You say.

Tricia shrugs. "Druids aren't exactly the biggest social creatures on the planet. Dad's an exception, and that was thanks mostly to your Father." She looks around. "Kinda surprised they haven't jumped us yet actually."

"And you're UNHAPPY about that?" Mage asks incredulously.

"Course not," Tricia says. "Just these morons usually overreact to the slightest 'transgression.' Usually with war cries and battle scythes." She shrugs. "Maybe they're out of range."

"Either way, can we keep going?" Lea asks.

>>25806281
"Yeah, lets all just keep going and pretend nothing happened. Hopefully the problem will go away if we pretend its not there."

>>25806281
"Fleeing from scenes of massive ecological damage is how we started. It might not be our fault this time but that isn't important. Lets buzz off before it turns out the druids ARE in range"

>>25806281
"We'll make a lot of noise on our way out. If they're home, they'll come and greet us in the traditional way. If they're not, there would be no point in hunting them down, right?"

>>25806281
"Let's leave a firmly worded note about our feelings on the subject of overcrowding and invasive species. On... a tree. I guess."

>>25806281
Well if their not expecting our warm welcome, I guess they aren't home. Let's continue then.

>>25806281
"Without Citadel's magic to keep things stable, I think we should at least investigate defusing an ecological collapse. Tricia, when we get home, we're going to need to add this to our body of knowledge and make sure we put a stop to this. In the long run, we'll need to have people to investigate and stop this sort of thing. Maybe we can standardize druid education to help new druids not make this mistake going forward."

>>25806423
yeah, that was my thoughts exactly. They'd be here yelling at us if they were home.

...unless they're in trouble. What are the chances the druids need a rescuing right now?

"Fleeing from scenes of massive ecological damage is how we started. It might not be our fault this time but that isn't important. Lets buzz off before it turns out the druids ARE in range" You say. "So, lets all just keep going and pretend nothing happened. Hopefully the problem will go away if we pretend its not there. If they're home, they'll come and greet us in the traditional way. If they're not, there would be no point in hunting them down, right?"

"Right." Tricia nods.

"Great, a crazy druid we gotta kill...like old times." Mage says. "Ugh, we already have 'old times' now...why did I come again?"

"Sophie was talking about what she would name the kids again." Peri says, not turning from her watch.

"Riiight." Mage nods. "That's a good reason."

Roll 1d20

Rolled 5

>>25806477

Rolled 4

>>25806477

Rolled 1

>>25806477

Rolled 14

>>25806492

>>25806500
Please be a travel roll

>>25806500
>>25806492
>>25806488
You guys suck!

>>25806488
>>25806492
>>25806500
>>25806505
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

Rolled 8

>>25806477
"We'll have to check on them if they're not back by the time we get return. They could need a hand with something."

>>25806518
>>25806529
Cmon it might be a travel roll and we'd be super

File: 1372914598951.gif-(944 KB, 264x320, 1372475162190.gif)

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Rolled 4

>>25806488
>>25806492
>>25806500

>>25806529
Hey, I got a 14, don't lump me in with Redaeth and his cohort of Darkness.

>>25806560
You are being lumped and are therefore an official cohort

>>25806560
You rolled too late, and thus are as guilty as the guy who rolled a 1.

Which was me. Oh god I'm so sorry

File: 1372914819138.gif-(1.82 MB, 300x169, 1369900939311.gif)

1.82 MB GIF

>>25806488
>>25806492
>>25806500
THIS IS THE LAMIA QUEST THAT I REMEMBER

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>>25806629
HE CONFESSED! CRUCIFY HIM!

>>25806630
oh god I hope tricia doesn't go haywire and shit bees all over us

Guys guys...

It could be a travel roll.

>>25806654
that's for when we forget our anniversary.

>>25806665
Or pretend to

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>>25806676
Hey, we aren't Lea.

>>25806687
We were going to surprise her later, but then we found a warm rock

>>25806699
our greatest weakness. other than poison and jello shots

>>25806699
That has got to be a common occurance with our team.

"Where'd Ssen go, I've not seen her in a while"

"Have you checked all the big rocks?"

>>25806722
To be fair it was really warm.

>>25806722
Well some poisons... and magic poison.
>>25806731
They did, and then it turns our they had to flip the rocks too because sometimes we get under them.

>>25806722
Yeah, it kinda sucks being immune to 99% of all poisons, only to realize that EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ONLY USES THE ([{INCREDIBLY RARE}]) GLASS SCORPION VENOM.

>>25806687
>tfw MMA Bondage Nun was a possible romance option

>>25806794
You can't out bondage living bondage gear.

>>25806794
We can still ask her to teach us interesting things to use on Tricia...

>>25806794
To be fair, our other choices were Childhood Frenemy Bug Druidess, Mutilated Half-Minotaur Girl, and Cannibal Incest Mage Boy.

>>25806829
That doesn't seem like a sisterly thing to do.

>>25806842
Also Isen.

>>25806500
Well...you get through the woods as best you can, dodging giant vine traps, invasive species, and places that Lightmare will turn into fiery infernos of death.

You make your way North as best when you can when you pass through a small clearing. There's a small wooden cabin built out of rocks peat, and an attempt to work two trees into the construction 'naturally.' It's in the middle of this clearing, and it's obvious that this is where the invasive vines are coming from. They're pouring out from the chimney and the windows, but...well...that's not the creepy part.

The muffled sounds of movement from within aren't creepy either.

Neither is the gutteral, non-human sounding, vocal sounds of effort that are coming from within the cabin.

The creepy thing is that there's a perfectly clear sheen of ice covering the walls of the cabin, and small icicles hanging from the eaves and broken windows...but there's no snow. In fact there's a perfect ring of snow around this clearing, as if the normal snow wants to go NO further than it has to.

"So...found the place." Tricia says. "Yay, for happy accidents?"

"We can't go further." Lea says. "The vines are too thick...and Lightmare's not getting anywhere NEAR that house. We'll have to double back and loop around."

"Can't we just set this place on fire NOW and skip the horribleness part?" Mage asks. "I'll do it!"

>>25806822
THAT'S MY POINT WE WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT TOGETHER

>>25806850
Your family members DON'T share twisted bondage tips?

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>>25806865
CHARGE! It's the SENSIBLE thing to do.

>>25806865
my guess this is a servant of the Ice Spirit.

>>25806865
>Ice
>House covered in Ice
>Snow is keeping the fuck away
OH GOD TURN AROUND

RUN LIKE FUCK

RUN RUN RUN

>>25806865
"Loot first, then fire."

>>25806865
>"Can't we just set this place on fire NOW and skip the horribleness part?" Mage asks. "I'll do it!"

Yes. Yes, please. Kill it with fire from as far away as possible. Unless the maximum range of a fireball would require Mage to be inside that snow ring, in which case we turn around and get out of here.

>>25806911

The way things are going I have a feeling we are going to be dealing with Ice soon. Otherwise we might be having another Land Spirit trying to consume the world.

I have a feeling Ice Ages last a very long time in this setting.

>>25806865
When Dad tells me that 'This isn't the hard part' I think this might be what he means. It's obvious I should just burn the place. Just write it off and leave a smoking ruin knowing I did the world a favor. But I can't do that, because Paladin. Excuse me, I'm going to go knock on the totally not evil at all door and honestly offer assistance.

>>25806865
"Look, mage, if we started setting things on fire before we saw how horrible they were, we'd never see any horrible things. Imagine how boring that would be.

Besides, it would be rude to turn down the good providence of finding the druid right along our route. Let's go introduce ourselves."

>>25806865
"I'd like to comunicate with them first, but get ready your fire spells, we might need them."

>>25806951
I can't not second this, we've not been super paladiny as of late

>>25806865
"Second!

Ice is bad! Don't go near the ice!"

>>25806951
We have to do this. Can't be a Paladin if we burn down a cabin because it looks evil

>>25806951
>>25806966
>>25806977
we SHOULD go introduce ourselves. It's the only thing we can do.

Though, we should complain about the cold every inch of the way.

Rolled 4, 6, 15 = 25

>>25806865
"No Mage we cannot skip the horribleness part. That goes against our image of walking into horribleness."

>>25806865
"If I weren't a paladin, I'd be all for setting fire to it and never looking back.

But, as it stands, I'm obliged to not judge things as they appear, even if they appear to be almost entirely sinister and malevolent in nature and utterly creepy to boot.

I guess I'm going to go knock and ask to borrow a cup of sugar."

>technological monster empire driving out all the spirits of the land

are we SSSSUUUUURE we're not the bad guys?

>>25807085
We established we were Satan ages ago.

Just roll with it.

"Look, Mage, if we started setting things on fire before we saw how horrible they were, we'd never see any horrible things. Imagine how boring that would be. It goes against our image of walking into horribleness.


"Besides, it would be rude to turn down the good providence of finding the druid right along our route. Let's go introduce ourselves." You pause. "But get ready your fire spells, we might need them."

"Might?!" Mage says.

You approach the cabin, you enter the non-snow circle and you feel a chill along your entire spine.

"Feel that?" Lea asks.

"Yeah. Oh, this just keeps getting better." Mari says.

You stick your head inside the cabin. You look around.

There's no sign of anyone living here for a while. It's has chairs, moldy and rotten with spoiled stuffing, the ice has encased a bookcase, filled with brown and yellowed tomes, and you can see frost sealing closed a lot of cabinets and drawers. There's dust everywhere, and the plants are all either overgrown or withered away.

"Nothing that belongs here has lived." Tricia says. "The over grown plants are the ones that shouldn't be planted here."

"They aren't poisonous or crap like that, are they?" Peri asks.

"Don't eat them and you'll be fine." Tricia says.

There's a bedroom, the kitchen, and a trap door for the cellar.

Roll 1d8

Roll 1d8

Rolled 6

>>25807195

Rolled 1

>>25807195
Pshaw

Rolled 1

>>25807195
I assume you only want us to roll 1d8 once.

>>25807235
>>25807245
I'm not sure how to feel about this.

Rolled 5, 8 = 13

>>25807195
Knock on the door, and then let yourself in.

"Well, I guess nobody is home. Except for whoever is making such a racket. I'm obligated to go make sure whoever it is isn't in danger."

Rolled 2

>>25807195
How many 1d8 are we meant to be rolling here?

>>25807235
>>25807245
This means we only encounter 1 evil spider, right?

Right?

>>25807292
I might be putting away my dice is what it means

We just hit 300, so I archived the quest. Hope nobody minds.