>>25795660
Do it via notes to the GM so your party members have no clue. Spend the money on an enchantment binding your death to the party leader's own life, so if he kills you he dies as well.

>>25795660
>Of course the party leader who lies on every role would probably skewer me instantly with a 'lucky' crit that would decimate me instantly, which is the only thing that is keeping me from doing this.

Uh, if he's attacking you, how are you not making him roll that shit out in the open where everyone can see it?

do whatever is most fun or fitting for your character or worth a story

Questions I ask myself before choosing to initiate conflict with other players:
Does it fit your character? Is there a way to play it so that it makes the game more fun, rather than less?

I was a demon worshippper sent along to keep the party of devil worshippers off-track. While they were trying to shut down a huge portal to the abyss I sold them out for a succubus waifu. Was pretty good.

>>25795705
It's an online thing, unfortunately. It's usually fun but this guy just lies through his fucking teeth and the GM just rolls over and takes it like a chump.

Seriously, this guy is a major fucking buzzkill but it seems like I'm the only one who takes objection when he does stupid shit like wasting a free enchantment from a archmage to give his girlfriends character giant tits.

>>25795698
Heh, that sounds good. Personally I was thinking that perhaps paying for a Scroll of Simulacrum and send the copy in with them to help set up for the sting operation.

>>25795763
>wasting a free enchantment from a archmage to give his girlfriends character giant tits.

Ok, betray them all. I fully support you having the entire party be arrested SOLELY because of the massive dickbag this dude is.

Rolled 85

>>25795763
betray them all!

>>25795763
You uh know that there are a ton of ways to do public dicerolling online, right?

>>25795763
kill them,

kill them all

Rolled 55

>>25795819
roll20 and skype come to mind

I was trying to funnel secrets and technology from MIB into MI5/6 for the British Government.

Turns out they knew about it. Ho boy, that fucked me over.

>>25795763
>objection when he does stupid shit like wasting a free enchantment from a archmage to give his girlfriends character giant tits.
"Oh Thank you (Dickbag) for helping me! In return for your service, I will grant you a free enchantment. Anything you desire!"
"Enchant my girlfriends tits."
"Oh of cour- wait, what?"
"Enchant. My girl's. Tits."
"Ummm, ok. How should I enchant your girlfriend's boobs?"
"+4 strength."

Betray them using a clever combination of spells.

>>25795819
You see, it's amusing that you mention that. We more or less use an honor system and as far as I know most of us are honest, but this asshat refuses to send his sheet half the time due to 'losing it', and when we try something else to sort of crack down on this stuff it conveniently doesn't work.

So no, I just have to be content with this at the moment. Though if this really works out, him being a cunt in and out of the game will finally bite him in the ass

>>25795840
That was exactly how it went. The GM was at a loss but those two ass hats insisted, through a diplomacy roll they even managed to make the girl get an enchantment as well.
He made her skin a natural light brown.

So two enchantments down the fucking tube. I feel that the GMs thousand yard stare would have matched my own at that instant.

>>25795870
Demand the GM to roll publicly for him if it 'doesn't work' then.
Have the player post whatever his bonus to the roll is FIRST, then the GM rolls.

This way he can't just change his bonus after the roll, and you can start writing down what his bonuses to certain things are and call bullshit if he tries to change them on you.

Be a dick about this if you have to. State outright that you think that the other player is and has been cheating, and that as such, anti-cheating measures should be implemented. Ones that you yourself are more than happy to follow as well.

At first I was thinking "Eh, maybe betraying your party is kind of a dick move..." but then I read the rest of the thread

Both IC and OOC it is justified in my mind

>>25795993
Do this.

Do it politely, don't try to start a shitstorm, but DO THIS.

>>25795993
God damn, so much player entitlement.
Sometimes GM's fudge rolls. We do this for your benefit and we do it for ours. Deal With It or else get behind the screen yourself.

>>25796041
Eh, did you even read the thread?

>>25796041
Bitch, step the fuck off your high horse. I AM the forevergm, and that's not even what I was saying you illiterate fucking ape.

I was advocating for having the GM roll for the OBVIOUSLY CHEATING PLAYER in full view of everyone else.

>>25795660
Do it. And make the party leader make their rolls where at least one other person can see them, which you should have been doing in the first place anyway.
Betraying people for money seems more Evil than Neutral, though. If that's in-character, you may want to change what it says on your sheet.

In answer to your initial question, yes. My rogue used the rest of her party as her piggy bank.

>>25796010
>>25795993
I've been trying for the longest time. But the problem player and the GM and really close,he willingly turns a blind eye to this no matter what I say be it with a 'Don't worry guy, he's probably just having a bad day let him have his fun'
Or
'Dude you're worrying too much he wouldn't lie to me like this'

And should I ever try to talk to him, to even get a look at his damn sheet so I myself can see just what he put down he winds up throwing a tantrum, then five minutes later his girl comes in as a mouthpiece and starts yelling for him..

This group is fucked, but it's the only one I'm able to play with so I guess I gotta try to step it up and work with what I have.

>>25796101
>having the GM roll for the OBVIOUSLY CHEATING PLAYER
Bitch, what?
The players roll for themselves, always.
Control freak.

>>25796104
Well, way I see it is more of the neutral path, the king stopped a magic plague and is still keeping it in check, but people need to go down to the complex and succumb to the sickness else it will be able to break free again over time and kill the fuck out of people.

The party themselves won't get fucked if they stay the hell away from the Cleric, as my character has said multiple times that he's trying to work out a way to get this guy away from his cadre of LA RESISTANCE warriors but they think due to his mildly low intelligence and the way I play him he's an idiot so they've been stringing him along by saying they're just getting in close so they can lead him out and capture him for good.

So now we're in the night before the last raid on the castle to kill the king and they gave my guy some money to blow on whore and not worry about it.

This seems partly justified and not outright evil since it's for the gold and he agrees with the kings, obviously working by the still thriving kingdom, harsh methods and he gets paid. I think he shouldn't take too much of a dent when it comes to the Cosmic Balance

>>25796135
Do you have no reading comprehension? This is for an online game where said player is a cheating faggot who lies about his rolls.

>>25796135
2/10, made me respond.

>>25796123
Realistically, what is the issue with the other player? I mean, ok, he cheats at a game. But this is to party benefit surely? So is it just you don't like him doing well and having fun (to no one's detriment but his own)?

>>25796206
How can you lie about rolls when there are apps for all players to see? That's just a poor DM who didn't bother to help his players ge the right tools.

>>25796268
See >>25795870
and >>25796123

>>25796192
All right, I misunderstood. I was under the impression that the money was the main motivation.

>>25795660
THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IF YOUR CHARACTER HAS ANY DIPLOMACY ABILITY:
1) Go talk to the "evil" king about how you know who has been trying to assassinate him.
2) Get the "evil" king to offer you protection first and foremost, then rewards second.
3) Once you have acquired "an addition to the party to help on your next adventure", bag and tag the assassin and HAUL ASS.
4) If the douchebag opposes, have the king's men place him under arrest for meddling in affairs of state. If he gets out of it, push to have a warrant or bounty placed on the character.
5) ????
6) PROFIT!

>>25796282
None of which explains why they don't have the app that allows all players to see all rolls made.

>>25796310
I think the second one kinda does - basically, the player said to the GM "let's use this dicerolling app" and the GM said "Nah, I'd rather deliberately allow this guy to obviously cheat, because I'm friends with him and I'm a total asshole who should never be allowed to GM".

>>25796310
>None of which explains why they don't have the app that allows all players to see all rolls made.
> We more or less use an honor system
>But the problem player and the GM and really close,he willingly turns a blind eye to this no matter what I say

Man. That's a whole lot of reading comprehension you have there.

The evil guys in my pokemon campaign actually asked me to join them and spy on the party, but I decided against it because of the shit pay and lack of benefits.
The party never found out, so I think I could have really gotten away with it.

>>25796192
I thought I understood, and now my head is full of wat.

But yes, you should turn in that assassin. This king sounds like he is using whatever desperate measures he can to keep the plague at bay. No, it isn't nice, but it sure as fuck beats having a plague run rampant throughout the kingdom, and a few random people a day doesn't even come close to the number of casualties a plague would bring. By way of example, the Black Death killed enough serfs that they were essentially able to sue for higher wages, at a time when they could be killed for moving to the next county. One of the only visible dips on a chart of human population through the ages.

There just isn't any way you can disagree with that king if you have any utilitarian leanings whatsoever.


I think you should talk it out with your GM. "Hey GM, I concocted this foolproof plan to kill that guy. He dies before he makes any rolls. I would feel bad, but I have strong suspicions that he cheats and after I mentioned my concerns before I was brushed off. So now I came up with this foolproof way to one shot him because I'm about to act IN CHARACTER in a way he (the guy who blew enchantments on tits) would disagree with and rather than immediately die due to fudged rolls if he decides to be a dick to me, I came up with a plan to outright kill him.

Unless you're willing to be a good dm and start requiring public rolling.

>>25796350
Does it, or are you just assuming that?
>>25796369
Again, favouritism won't matter if the whole group uses the app.

Until the OP comments, I'm going to assume the issue of a dice app has never been raised.

>>25796509
Well that's what I'm going to see I can get the Scroll of Simulucra for, while the real man is hiding out I send in the simulacra to negotiate the bounty (just in case the DM makes him an evil mustache twirler) and possibly some extra force, lead them into the little Court of Miracles before their daring raid and when this trap is sprung even if the asshat tries to ice me he'll just kill a clone and I'll have my character chilling somewhere well out of the range of retribution.

At this point they'll probably find a way out, and I'll probably have to retire my character but I think that'll be a good sendoff and a fine way to show that I'm getting tired of some of this shit and if they really have a bitch over this I can talk it out saying that being a dick in and out of games leads to getting stabbed in the back.

Not exactly the most elegant series of events, and might not lead to some needed change and transparency around the table, but it will still be an entertaining night nonetheless

>>25796123

> this shit

Evacuate game, take up less shitty activity.

>>25796509
This would be a great plan that would solve OP's problems, up until the point where the GM goes "But, but that would spoil the fun of the only player I actually seem to give a shit about, I'm going to go tell him this plan so that he can find out about it via magical OOC powers and kill the other player before he has a chance to do anything". Because if a GM is willing to blatantly ignore cheating, he's already shown that he'll happily fuck up the fun of the good players to benefit the stupid asshole.

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Oh man, yes. That's the whole game for us. Our party had a rival group. Basically mercenaries like us but with a different shtick. They would compete with us for jobs and bounties, and generally piss me off something proper.

But that was all forgivable. What wasn't forgivable was that one of them (foreign cougar duelist woman, stereotype #117) was getting friendly with one of the men. The two of them sat out a couple of fights because they didn't want to fight each other, and we lost a big payoff because of it.

So I set them up to take a bullet for us. The next of our jobs they showed up to steal was a sting by the Croats to try and wipe us out--a sting I had set up by telegraphing our movements heavily as a bluff. They didn't bother looking before they sprayed the party with arquebus fire. Most of them were killed instantly. The woman lived long enough to crawl about halfway out of the docks. Nobody bothered finishing her off, she was the last one we found when we showed up and 'discovered' the slaughter. The group's parent organization basically went to war with the Slavs, and in the chaos we scooped up enough influence and cash to buy ourselves into the big leagues.

I've kept my involvement in this a secret so far, but I've also started to feel bad. We're allied with the Croats now, and it's only a matter of time before those Catholic sacks of shit realize that I intentionally fed them a fistful of condottiere and started a war that cost them tons of prestige and influence... To ruin one of my coworkers' love life. They'd probably be pretty mad.

All the while, Captain Foreveralone is major butthurt that we're allied with the guys who whacked his waifu. I'm thinking about contriving some reason to double-cross them and bringing him into it on the pretense that he can avenge his slain love. In reality, I'd be cleaning house so that nobody can expose to him that I was the one who had his girl shot like a dog.

I feel like Emperor Palpatine sometimes.

>>25796976
Jesus Christ, why didn't you just buy them out?

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>>25795660
Only if they're a dick to me. No regrets, no hiding it.

>>25796976
Sounds like you're making this more complicated than it needs to be.

Why do you need a reason to double cross? Why do YOU need to double cross? Just convince your boy that he should slay them for killing her.

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>>25797089
>Missing the whole point of being evil.

>>25797069
She was actually a good mercenary. Our problem is that they were the better group, both in their professional ethic, and in a straight scrap. Their footsoldiers were Swiss, ours were from Rashka.
We couldn't bribe them, and I wasn't about to join up with a bunch of schismatics. So I set 'em up to die.

>>25797089
A few reasons. The Croats are firstly not to be fucked with. These guys work for the Doge, they bodied the Swiss, they're tough shit. Much as I like Lars, he's not good enough to bring them down by himself. He needs my cunning.

Second, and much more importantly, he might find something among the ruins of their guildhouse or on their bodies that incriminates me. I need to be there to do damage control, or shoot him in the back if he starts to realize my involvement.

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>>25796976
Now you're thinking with Boltons.

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>>25796976

So important question.

Did he do a Darth Vader esque NO?

>>25797261
He took it with more dignity than I expected him to. Went into mourning, paid for her funeral, adopted her daughter, and that was sort of that. He didn't let go of the bitterness, though, which has made him phenomenally easy to bait into doing my will.

>>25796976
This story was copied from another person's perspective, let me find that screencap.

>>25797613
>25797613
Shit, I don't have it capped but I've read this before. The dead fencer, the rival competitive group, implied love interest, working with the ones that killed the group, the fencer being seperated. I swear I saw the whole thing before, but from the perspective of someone who was angry about it, I must have it somewhere.

I believe the poster even said something along the lines of asking "Do you remember "insert duelist name here" and when they said no he killed her.

>>25797676
Keywords. Think keywords and I can troll the archives.

>>25797718
Worst part was
we
worked with
fencer
rival
rivals
dead
blood

All I can do for now, if I have more i'll post it, if the person who posted the story here is still here please tell me you're not just reversing that story, this is a rare occurrence if you're not.

>>25797676
>>25797613

Never know the man was a fa/tg/uy. Well, let's hope he doesn't see all of this. I'd be really shit to have my plans exposed by someone reading /tg/.

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>>25797761
rivals dead blood. First one on the list.

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>>25797786
Trolled HARD.

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>>25797718
>>25797761
I remember more now, It was a recent thread about NPC's you had an affection for, the secret lies in that thread, give me a second to think of keywords from the whole thread.

Someone asked for this specific picture, It's the same posting number as from the thread.

>>25797786
>>25797853
Thanks anon, I'm gonna screen cap both and put them together real quick.

>>25797786
wow, my image quality came out really bad on that one.

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>>25797764
Evil always pays for its crimes anon.

>>25797786
Oh yeah. That's him. Only he could see a power struggle between two mercenary armies as a "silly rivalry."
People DIED while you were trying to wet your beak. Varangian dipshit.

>>25797924
The fun part comes if the anon who originally posted the story sees this.

>>25797932
>>25797924
Single best thing I've read all week.

I can imagine >>25797932 patting the adopted daughter on the head every time he visits her, as if he isn't covered in her blood, and working out new ways to advance his little mercenary group while she hugs his leg and calls him uncle.

>>25797764

This is why you read the Evil Overlord List man.

So you wouldn't screw yourself by doing self-satisfying monologues like this.

How would you go about getting revenge for someone betraying you in character?

I'm thinking of killing him. It's the most simple solution.

>>25798087
Unless he finds out IC, it isn't a problem.. unless he's the kind of guy who would "intuition" it once his OOC knowledge comes into play.

If you want him dead, just take a very, very dangerous job. Pull most your people back, but leave him in the forefront with all the danger.
When shit goes down and he dies, tell your party you though he was going to fall back too, that he'd noticed you weren't about to commit to anything that dangerous, and that he was an idiot for getting himself killed. Play up the right amount of remorse, maybe take up a small drinking problem for awhile while "guilt" for "killing" him "gets to you." Then realize life has to go on, you have a job to do, his adopted daughter will be happier in foster care, and frying pans without fires are often far between.

>>25798081
The worst part is the story's incomplete. I hope to one day scroll through a "Personal Victories" thread and read about a mercenary who had damned his affiliations and in a dramatic stand killed his superiors and a traitorous "ally" in the name of a special dead swashbuckler.

>>25798141
Another thought just occurred- pay a local criminal or gang to mug you and him as you're walking along at night, talking about shit or a job or whatever. Just you and him. The muggers, when you and he obviously resist, surprise you with an automatic weapon or something equally over-zealous and lethal, allowing him that fraction of a second realization: this isn't just a mugging. When he turns to you, you can either feign dread, or smile, and watch him get Swiss Cheesed. Bonus points if you have one of those badass Swiss do it.
And why wouldn't they kill you afterwards? Because you're going to pay them. Or supply them with information they desperately want. Or something like that... Then just shoot yourself in the arm and wait for police to find you, sobbing over the corpse of your dearly departed friend.

>>25798055
This is an amazing idea. I'm gonna buy her a pony next session.

Oh my God, I need a name for the pony. Someone give me a name for the pony.

>>25798442

Butt Stallion?

Handsome Jack?

>>25798442
Verräter

>>25798442
It needs to have subtle indicators of treason or backstabbing. Nothing blatant like "Judas" but maybe something like "Benedict" or "Arnold" (not the two together)
I'd also go for Troy.

(glad you like my head-patting I-love-you-uncle idea? I put two ideas for how you can kill the guy, too.)

>>25798442

You'll have to note that if the guy's reading this thread, giving her the pony will inform him instantly OOC-wise who killed his special snowflake waifu.

Yes but in my defense I did break them all out of prison as soon as I'd the bounty office had payed me the reward money and I'd got all the stuff I needed to secretly do in town done.

And then I blamed the whole prison break on the gnoll mafia and rode off into the sunset on my war donkey laughing manically.

>>25798474
Good, but too easy.

>>25798483
Sounds awesome, but he speaks German.

>>25798487
Liking Troy. Tell me. I'm not going to kill him if I don't have to, but I like ammunition.

>>25798508
I've mentioned his character by name already. If he's gonna know, he's gonna know.

He probably won't kill me until he gets an in-character clue. Which... Would probably be provided by me naming the horse something that indicated betrayal.

Doesn't mean I'm not going to do it.

>>25798551
see >>25798141 and >>25798196

I can come up with more ideas if you give more specifics on IC personality, plot, etc.

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>>25798551
>But he speaks German
Yeah, so?
I hope something bad happens to your character

>>25798575
Ha, I'm rooting for this manipulative anon. He plays the best kind of character, in my opinion.
It's epic shit when you can sit a chesterfield while talking to a team member who's sobbing his eyes out over a dead love interest, and hide the fact that you are SOLELY responsible for setting up her horrible untimely death, and console him with sweet nothings about how it was just bad luck, and she fought to the end, and other crap.

>>25798551
>I've mentioned his character by name already. If he's gonna know, he's gonna know.


Well assuming you and him aren't the only ones in the group, he won't know who specifically killed the waifu.

>>25796135
1/10 made me respond.

>>25798595

I'm rooting for him as well, I find the whole thing fucking hilarious.

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>>25798604
Holy shit, I hadn't considered that. I could be anyone!

Baited. Baited and outsmarted.

>>25798640
More stories anon.
More stories of your team's badassery.
Try to make it from the team's POV, not your character's own, so the guy can't track down which you are.

ECL 2. Level 1 Tiefling Rogue.

Party rescued me on the way to take down a necromancer with a heavy bounty on him, and that was how my Rogue joined the party. They had no idea she was a tiefling. Party was not aware of the bounty, either, they were just following undead tracks.

'Naturalist' DM, meaning he figured 3.5 was meant to be a simulation. We weren't actually supposed to be able to take on the necromancer. Well, we did. Barely. Because our DM was a 'Naturalist' and the necromancer had a sleep cycle to catch him in.

We get back to town, and my Rogue speaks up. "Hey, I've got pretty good rapport with the town guard here, why don't you boys settle in and I'll go see about any bounty?"

They actually agreed. My Rogue got most of it in bank notes and kept those in a book on hunting local fauna.

I collected the five-figure bounty the party wasn't supposed to get (but did (because simulation)), distributed 250 gold each, and then hit up the evil, suspicious Sorcerer to give him an extra 100 acknowledging that I'd skimmed some off the top, but didn't feel like trying to lie to him since "Of course, I'm not so foolish as to think I can put one over on you." The appeal to his vanity kept him from getting suspicious for a little while.

About half of this gold was promptly invested in a very magical giant crossbow and some glamered armor. Eventually, of course, they realized my weapon was way more impressive than its wielder, and inquired. "Oh, I rounded out my share with some... 'side work'," implying thievery, which earned glares from the Lawful party members.

It went south when we got to the next town that had posted a bounty on the necromancer. Shortly thereafter my Rogue was stripsearched and they realized she was a tiefling.

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>>25798640

>>25798737
I love it.
Go on.

Also, are there any special traits tieflings have? Pros and cons? I've always been curious about them.

>>25798737
Of course, no knowledge was claimed about the 'missing' bank notes still tucked away in the books. They managed not to bother actually searching anything beyond her person. Everyone knew she'd stolen something, but not how much.

Shortly after that, some failed rolls (notably a critical failure trying to save someone in a grapple) galvanized their opinion. The Sorceror's bribe stopped keeping him at bay. He began attempting to murder her. Nightly. Since that couldn't be proven, and trying to kill him back would only result in bringing the whole party down, my character decided it was time to bail.

But first, she paid off the debt that was keeping the party adventuring. They were impressed with her change of heart, and this largely won them over. Then, she left a note for the Sorceror in Infernal, the only language they shared that the rest of the party couldn't speak, detailing exactly how much gold she had stolen, and how much she still had. Then she left.

The Sorceror flipped out and began squabbling about catching and killing her, but the party didn't believe him.

...this was all mostly luck on my part and people just being suckers in-character, augmented by a DM that would not flinch in his mechanistic, deliberately anti-narrative take on the rules, but my friends all thought I'd done something clever, and they kept assuming every subsequent character was running some kind of con.

>>25798810
Depending on the system, they're typically descended from some kind of evil outsider, though not by immediate blood relation; typically it'll be a distant relative.

Other than that, sometimes they have spell-like abilities. In 3.5e, what the guy telling the story is probably using, they get resistance to cold, electricity, and fire 5, Darkvision out to 60 ft, and Darkness as a 1/day Spell-like Ability.

If it's Pathfinder, I'm not sure off the top of my head, considering there's a huge table of alternate tiefling abilities based on ancestry, but I'm pretty sure the bog-standard ones are the same.

>>25798724
It will require careful wording. I will post them another time.

>>25798810
Oh yeah, lots. Tieflings are pretty well fleshed-out in terms of options, especially in Pathfinder. This one was a stock 3.5 Tiefling, though. +2 Dex, +2 Int, -2 Cha, +2 Bluff and Hide, Darkness 1/day, Fire, Acid and Lightning Resistance 5.

If memory serves, anyway, it's been awhile. You can also look them up in Pathfinder: http://www.d20pfsrd.com/races/other-races/featured-races/arg-tiefling

Just remember, no one likes angsty demon-flavored characters, and there's nothing particularly interesting about being broody and tortured, so don't roll Drizzt: The Demoning.

>>25798861
Heh, nice touch leaving a note only the Sorceror could read.

Little touches like that are what makes screwing with people so much fun.

I guess I'll go. I'm the anon that named the horse "Troy" and gave the murder ideas, btw.

>Party consists of generic fighters and hero-types. All are super fucking LG and pious out the ass, wouldn't steal a penny from the side of a country road. And then there's me- the Rogue who's all about the practical and the profit.
>Party constantly bands together to waste resources or stupid shit that doesn't pay off, like all chipping in to buy Party Leader Warrior a new set of magic something or another, which he subsequently loses one dungeon-dive later, running from monsters for his life. (they diplomacy and bullied me into joining them in the chip-in, btw) I think the biggest stupidity was when he was convinced he could buy some enchanted armor and fly around like an Archangel of virtue.
>Tired of them not only not making money, but wasting what little money we did earn.
>Go to BBEG alone, and talk to him. Turns out he's a cool dude who doesn't afraid of anything.
>Offer him some simple terms: He can have ONE of our party members, in return for a large cash reward. He can have TWO of our party members, in return for a castle and the cash. He can have THREE in return for... and you get the idea.
>Moment of confrontation with BBEG is soon. I invite party to final meal, before we go to become legends. Beautiful display of silverware, wonderfully prepared foods.
>Talk to them about our plans, about our adventures, about what happens in the morning. Let them know that, despite our differences, I feel it wasn't time wasted.
"And," I say, smiling around a cup of some milked coffee. "In the spirit of animosity, I feel I should let you know you've all been poisoned."
>A few party members realize at that point they can't move.
>A few are outright dying, hard of breath.
>I walk up to the Party Leader Warrior and tie a bag of coins around his neck, and snap to some guards.
"For the flying Archangel armor," my Rogue states, waving towards a balcony nearby. "In your next life."

>D&D.
>My assassin is sneaking towards the front of the temple to rob the shrine.
>Another player's fighter/thief is doing the same.
>Private things like that are done via scrap of paper to the DM.
>We both have no idea what the other is doing.
>Ungodly hide in shadows/move silently.
>We both reach for diamond encursted idol.
>DM rolls pickpocket. >99 and 100 for ultra fails.
>We each got a scrap of paper "You feel a hand grab yours."
>We each look at the hand we found, follow to arm, body, see groupmate.
>Sheepish looks exchanged, agree to be honest with each other, but screw the party.

>>25799302
I approve, but you're still kind of a dick.

I can't put into words what's wrong with your party, but while they did earn that end, they might not have necessarily deserved it.

You still play with them, or did they gang up on your DM to have you kicked out?

>>25799443
I play with a mix of them and other people, the group kinda changed drastically.
As much as it pissed them off for awhile, they had to admit it was an interesting turn of events, and totally IC. A few are more open-minded and play more... practical roles, or are less stupid. A few aren't.
I have fun with both, and for the most part, I actually have their backs. Saved their asses quiet a few times, like when I convinced a Sphinx that asked an impossible riddle our whole party was deaf, mute, and blind, and could not therefore communicate an answer, let alone hear the riddle, so it was impossible to play the game. When the Sphinx asked why I didn't just play, I told it that it just asked me a question, which should count as its riddle, and gave an honest answer: I don't fucking want to.
Rolled to convince the Sphinx it just wasted a riddle on me, and lost.

>>25799571
Succeed the role, the Sphinx lost the riddle-game.
Felt I should clarify the ambiguity there.. fuck.

>>25798442
Arpeggio Reinhart

>help bad guy out
>get pays you
>then kills you immediately after you look at the money

Come on do you even watch movies? This is the classic mistake everyone makes.

>>25798487
Anon who remembered the story here, my vote is for Faust Benedictus, Faust because it's an evil sword, and benedictus because it sounds vaguely latin.

>>25799826
Oh wait managed to get Faust mixed up with Tyrfing again.

But seriously, Faust Benedictus Antenor, Antenor was the man who let in the Trojan horse in the first place.

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>>25797853
Wow, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me today, but when I read that last line, I just started tearing up really badly.

>>25799802
Normally that'd be true, but this BBEG wasn't a "kill for the sake of killing" type, and I wasn't a "betray for the sake of getting money and being a bitch" type. While I did that, it was justified by my entire life's work and savings being for nothing, because these so-called heroes were pissing -my- earned gold to the wind, and they were running around upsetting a lot of political figures and powerful people by acting like the second coming of The Great Prophet Zarquon or something.
So, I made a deal with a man I knew wanted them dead, or incapaticated, and in return for them and promising to stay out of his business as he took over several realms, I became a lord of a very large area, and very very rich.
What good would it do him to kill me at that point, when I had no allies to unite against him, and was in his pocket, working for him? He was like me.. practical. Business-oriented. but above all, like me, he understood defeat at the hands of those cretins, and we both wanted our dues from them.

>>25800530
it is sad, that is why you cry.

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bump.

bampity bamp

>>25796135
0/10 made me respond i reply to everything

>>25796350
I think it was more.

"Nah, I'm a fictional character and my actions all have the direct goal of adding credibility and acting as a scapegoat for whenever OP makes up a DND story."

>>25795911
and you play with them because...?
im calling bullshit, no one is pussy enough to bend over to that

This hasn't happened with me in the piloting seat.
I got shot off a gantry in rogue trader and fell 2 ship space downwards because the leader of our boarding team went off the deep end and sold herself out to chaos. Granted, she thought she was doing the right thing 'cause she'd witnessed me kill a few 'innocent' people, and was frankly sick of the upper class oppression on the lower classes.

>>25795660

We had a drow magister in our pathfinder campaign that involved a war. He and his NPC drow antipaladin waifu killed my clumsy husbando-to-be even after I made them swear they would turn him in (they were accusing husbando-to-be of slavery, which also turned out to be false).

Seeing as how I can't fight an antipaladin and a magister with bullshit magical gloves of Dimension Door by myself as a lone gunslinger, I instead hatched an elaborate plan to blow up the inn they were staying in. They were left with just enough HP to be killed each with a shot to the head.

Unfortunately, none of the other party members knew about things, so it looked like I was doing the wrong thing, and then the wanna-be-evil magus kills me while they all get free resurrections. Except for me, because the magus has free Trap the Soul from some item he managed to convince the GM to give him.

It was worth it. Nothing feels better than an elaborate plan coming together.

>>25796041
Read the thread and try again. Hell, even just read that post again because you missed some important context clues.

On topic though, usually my players come to me beforehand if they are going to attempt a betrayal that may permanently change the story.

I don't ask for it they just do.

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>>25797837
These have to be related, right?

>>25795660
>Shadowrun
>party gets hold of a substance that turns everything it comes into contact with into more of the same substance
>it's held inside a special high-tech container
>my character steals it at night, since he's got major psychological issues and wants to destroy the rich inner city center
>succeeds and gets away
>I roll a new character to play
>substance is detonated as a dirty bomb inside the city, killing tens of thousands of people
>old character becomes BBEG of the whole campaign

>>25799414
>>We each got a scrap of paper "You feel a hand grab yours."
>>We each look at the hand we found, follow to arm, body, see groupmate.
>>Sheepish looks exchanged, agree to be honest with each other, but screw the party.


Nice. :)

That made me laugh, thank you.

>>25799614

thank you for taking the time to clarify.

>>25800854

well put.

>>25814936
>It was worth it. Nothing feels better than an elaborate plan coming together.

That does feel nice doesn't it.

>>25815180
>>my character steals it at night, since he's got major psychological issues and wants to destroy the rich inner city center
>>succeeds and gets away
>>I roll a new character to play
>>substance is detonated as a dirty bomb inside the city, killing tens of thousands of people
>>old character becomes BBEG of the whole campaign

impressive. Did the campaign go well?

>>25815180
>KANE LIVES IN DEATH!

Sounds like a Confessor or Saboteur snuck some Tiberium into a Green Zone and used it as a dirty bomb.

More stories please.

Submitted this one to the archives. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/25795660/

In regards to in-party betrayal, there's a golden rule. After the other party members are done being amazed/pissed, will they consider it a great story? Otherwise you're just being a dick.

>>25819815
bump.

>>25795660
I was playing a witch whose patron was big on betrayal, I saved it for the end of the campaign to make the party right pissed, which led to the campaign continuing out of fury.

For the druid, I cut down her favorite tree and crafted a nice new broom of flying from it.

The child of the paladin and the bard went to a old dragon whose young adult offspring we had slain.

For the barbarian who had perhaps just completed the most a most impressive coming of age ritual for his tribe. He kinda went above and beyond but waited till the end to return. A girdle of femininity the DM had let me craft, made to look exactly like his current belt, and a potion that made him 1d12 years younger hidden in his wineskin, which he would inevitably down immediately after looking in the mirror.

>>25798442
poena

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>be paladin
>party decides to do something evil
>have the luckiest diceroll streak ever
>kill all of them

>>25825678
As the Anon who threw his team to the wolves, and the party leader out a window, for being virtuous twats:

I hate your type.

>That said, awesome work. Tell us your story in more detail.

>>25825678

tell me how you did it.

>>25825895
Probably with a sword.

>>25825988
A classic case of classism.

What if he used an enchanted red snapper?
Or used his mount like a warhammer?

Party betrayal... hoo boy. I only did that once and only once because the group pretty much flipped the fuck out when it got pulled off by me. Their characters were all dead, but my character survived and prospered.

It all began when I decided to play a rogue character with a merchant bent. I made investments, I did some wheeling and dealing, picked locks and disarmed traps in abandoned ruins. Essentially, one of those 'honest' rogues who tended to use the more classic thievery skills for dungeons and quests rather than burglarizing houses or picking pockets for gold or conning marks.

Made the character a great guy to be around. Need a few coins to fix up your armor? sure I'll lend you some, but pay me back from your share of the reward latter on! Need some start up funds? I know a few guys who might invest, let's go see them! Are you hurt! I'll use my healing potion to get you back on your feet!

I had been nothing but helpful and generous with my group members so that we could succeed in our adventures. A real team player, with full expectations that my group would help me out when I'm down on my luck or something.

Instead, I discovered my group were a bunch of asses who couldn't spare a healing potion when I got hurt or pay back what they borrowed ever. When I had the gall to refuse loaning them anything after enduring continuous failures to help or pay back what they were lent, they threatened to burn down my businesses to get at the money anyways.

Apparently, they equated with polite and patient with 'a total pussy character they can push around' and were amongst some of the worst team players I've ever met.

>>25826269
SO WHAT DID YOU DO?

>inb4 just the words "betrayed them"

We played a prohibition-era fantasy game a few months ago where the party were all enforcers in a mostly human mafia making bootleg liquor. We slowly rose to the top of the chain and took control of the family, but internal politics turned two of our party members against each other near the end and they fractured the family and caused the empire to fall apart.

My character turned states witness to save his ass and got all but one of our party members locked away in return for immunity, but the last party member gunned me down outside a casino later that year

it was a fun campaign

>>25826269
My four targets for vengeance:
A elven bard with an overly inflated opinion of himself... because he's an elf.
A dwarven cleric with a serious lust for gold that simply needed to be experienced to truly appreciate and constantly demanded tithes from everyone (for his 'church', ie his own pockets)
A human fighter/barbarian that derived a truly idiotic amount of pleasure of taking the most retarded actions possible. They weren't funny, who the fuck decides to 'I go and piss on our employer who is about to hand us our reward and try to fuck his daughter' for no reason?
A female wizard with the most irritating ANGST/EMO backstory ever and would constantly refer back to it as if it was as important as the Book of Revelations.

These moronic, greedy, useless excuses for a party constantly tried my patience. Until I could take no more.

Now, I could have just slit their throats at night using my awesome backstab or simply just poison their food to watch them choke on their own blood and shit themselves... but no, I wanted them to suffer. I wanted them to know why they suffered. I wanted them to know who made them suffer.

So I began quietly gather my the tools of my revenge.

To give you an idea of some of these tools I should start with the fact my party had a nasty tendency of identifying cursed weapons and items and then forcing me to take them as part of my 'share' of the treasure pile. I quickly gathered quite a collection, and had the common sense to never trust a single thing these chucklefucks gave back to me as my 'share' or repayment for loans.

I had bags of holding... that turn out to be bags of devouring. Rings of 'protection' that actually drained your CON stats. Magic wands primed to blow up rather than cast fireball. It was just a huge pile of useless cursed items. I must had a list of fifty such things.

Rolled 37

>>25826647
Show us this list kind sir. Please.

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>>25795660
Do it, and if the liar attacks you demand to see every roll.

I've screwed my party for IC reasons before, but most of the peoole I play with are buttmad babies who can't get over it IRL.

Rolled 99

>>25796490
Im starting a pokemon campeign soon, and my plan is to make an evil team. PTU Medium with a gastly starter, and his goal is to destroy the barrier between life and death, ending death.
In reality he's probably going to end up attempting to fuse the distortion world with the real one, and fail because protagonists
anyone have any ideas for actual ways I could pull this off without breaking the lore too much?

>>25826829
Which Lore? Anime? Manga? Original Video Game?

If it's Anime, you're gonna need a literal army of Haunters.

>>25826647
hello?

>>25826647
They weren't the only things I used in my grand plans but there a major component for the next few adventures.

because it hit upon me... These assholes trusted me. They just couldn't imagine me screwing them over in any shape or form because that's not what my character did. He went in there and got their asses out of the fire. He was the one who had that crucial healing potion they needed. He was the one who had the brains to make money through plans that didn't involve murdering non human monsters in their lairs.

In short, they would never expect me actually do anything that would harm them. If I were to surreptitiously pass on a few 'defective' items, they wouldn't even realize it. So one fine day before the players arrived at our next session, I came in early and talked to the DM who was starting a little burnt out from all those shenanigans that the other players were putting him through and basically told him out right. "I intend to murder each and every single one of these guys, and make them suffer. I'm telling you this right now because you will be receiving notes from me that have nothing to do with the usual business investments and politicking I typically give you. Be ready for them."

The DM was a bit skeptical about my claim but decided to roll with it. I think he was even amused. The game began when they all arrived.

Our mission for the day was to guide one of my caravans of spices to a grand city in another country. One that was like Al-Qadim, arabian nights style. The players would be guards. It was then I passed a note to the DM stating I would be hiring high level guards of my own pockets for the journey as well and that were to be fully loyal to me as their employer and be members of my Trading Consortium. As a ranking member, I had access to some pretty good resources at my disposal.
DM shrugged and announced to the players that six rather skilled caravan guards would be joining for the trip.

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I've seen some shit when it comes to party betrayal, bro.

Rolled 80

>>25826872
probably video game, but probably any lore could work, GMs pretty chill about that sort of thing. And whats this about a bitchin army of haunters?

>>25827009
None them gave a fuck. They didn't care about the note passing going on either, because it was just something I always did. Often for the benefit of the group but not this time, not that they knew. They only complained at the possibility of not getting their fair share of xp and pretty made some jokes about killing the guards for more loot.

I asked the players if they were saying this in character. Naturally, bozo fighter grandly states that yes, they are saying shit about these caravan guards and about killing them if they get in the way.

I then send another note to the DM.

"Since the guards have heard the threats and crude jokes, I have a quick meeting with them."

DM takes me to another room for a quick roleplay.

Guard (Level 7, and they were worth it): What insanity is this?! Did I hear your companions threaten us!?
Me: I'm afraid so. Your mission with me coin brothers, is not to simply protect and guide this caravan to the great city of Alqia, but to protect me from these barbaric ruffians as well. I can no longer trust them for their greed and curses have driven mad. They are a menace. I promise grand rewards for your continued loyalty if only you will assist me!
Guard: We have heard your call, we shall obey.

after securing the loyalty of my employees, I gave each them some of the magical items that I had that were not cursed to assist me. Nothing major. A magic sword there, a wand of healing there. Some minor babbles and odds and ends that the others didn't care for or thought useless so they gave them to me. I needed extra hands for these items, because I was one rogue, I can't do everything by myself and it was better spread items to the others to use.

So off we went to on our journey.

>>25827199
In an episode of the Anime a Haunter yanks Ash and Pikachu's souls out of their bodies after they lose consciousness and takes them on crazy, ghostly adventures with him, Gengar and Gastly.

Near the end of the Episode he puts them back in with seemingly no side effects. So the idea would be to knock a bunch of motherfuckers unconscious and have your Haunters yank their souls out, making them into virtual ghosts. And possibly destroying the bodies later.

Rolled 22

>>25827388
ah, close, but not quite what Im going for. my goal is to completely destroy the destiction between life and death. The only Idea I have on this would involve plot maguffins and destroying the pokemon towers, sincethey are described as where all the souls of dead pokemon naturally flow towards(citation:RSE) Theoretically, there would be a way to widen said drain, possibly causing a rip, and then a full on breach. Im not sure about the alignment of the party, but one of them is playing a Lasher, so I may have 1 recruit towards team SpookyShit.

>>25827314
Of course, there were random encounters on the journey! And of course, the players got injured. They never turned to the cleric for help first because said cleric was a greedy bastard that charged money per healing!

So they turned to the rogue first and demanded healing potions that I always purchase from the ever helpful alchemist back at our home city.

Every now then, I would sneak in a cursed potion into the mix that the players would drink without suspicion. This being 2nd edition dungeons and dragons, most of them gave the drinker delusions of being healed. When in reality it drained their CON stats permanently or gave them penalties.

The DM took diligent notes on who drank what and lost what stats. The players didn't even realize they were permanently losing certain stats from cursed potions they pawed off to me. I also began to quietly switch their magical items with their cursed equivalents.

the wizard typically wore her ring of protection but I switched it out with a cursed ring that pretended to be protection but in reality gave her such and such chance of messing up on her spells. The bard got a curse hat that happen to have the ability of morphing into the typical clothing worn by the cursed individual. and so on and so forth. The problem was the cleric and the wizard wising up that something was up. But fortunately, I managed to outright trick them into believing the reason why so few caravans go through the desert to arabian night city was because the desert was cursed. Once we reach the city, we could recover from the afflictions and regain our stats without a problem

>>25827314

How can an entire party be like this though. It just seems kind of odd.
Was it mostly the fighter and the others followed him because why the fuck not more loot?

>>25827727
>cleric charges money per heal

Dude, what the fuck.

>>25828048
Hey man, it's one way to be a cleric.
I mean it's completely dickish, but hell... why not?

>>25827727
They believed me. They didn't even bother rolling their knowledge checks or anything to see if I was bullshitting or not. They didn't even seem to realize that the caravan guards or myself seemed utterly unaffected by this 'cursed desert'. But they were still the same nasty bunch of assholes.

Eventually, we arrived in the city. I was full flush with health as were my employees, while the players got more and more frustrated by their cursed status. They were ecstatic and hustled off to an inn to recover. I lied to them, saying that after a day everything would be fine.

I didn't go off to the inn, I instead went straight to the Magistrate with my guards.

Me: By the four dragons, you must assist me!
Magistrate: What is the matter!
Me: My companions are mad! Their base nature and greed have finally gotten to them.
Magistrate: *casts some sort of truth spell* I shall judge that. *points to guard* Speak, is what your employer say is true?
Guard: Aye, and a rotten bunch of ingrates and cutthroats they be. Our coin brother has been nothing but courteous. Nothing but kind to his wretched cursed companions! they speak foully and threatening all, be they friend or foe. Our journey has been naught but a nerve wracking descent into the pits of hell with them.
Magistrate: I see the truth of thy words. You merchant, speak. Tell me thy tale.
Me: As we crossed the desert, they have grown weaker from the cursed items they have in their possessions. But most foul is the man of the gods, his greed unending. He would not heal anyone without the payment of a grotesque fee! If only his wretched heart would bend, it would cleanse the others of their ailments but his heart is of stone. It moves only for gold (note: fun fact, the dwarf cleric could have undone some of the curses but he was too greedy to waste using expensive spell components on anyone without payment).
Magistrate: By the gods, you speak the truth yet I do not wish to believe it.

>>25828064
>why not?
This entire story for one thing.

>>25828002
>>25828048
They thought it was hugely hilarious to be assholish.
yes but it did start with the fighter. Then the cleric joined in (this was possible the most annoying part).
The last two decided they didn't want to be on the receiving end of the dickishness, so they decided to preempt it by making me the target

>>25828160
And then finally you joined in.

At least you were only a douche to the people who earned it.

>>25828104
I fail to see your point.
Have you never heard of sellswords? Same principle.

>turning in a quest central NPC who attempted to assassinate an 'evil' king
>entirely in character for my CN Hexblade.

Do you mean Lawful Evil, perchance?

Rolled 11

>>25828284
read the thread, the king's LN at worst.

>>25828284
Depends on the motive for turning them in.

If it's for personal gain like say, every deal Jack Sparrow makes with an authority figure, it's Chaotic Neutral.

>>25828318
Does it matter what alignment the King is?
I was talking about the character's alignment.
The CN Hexblade is doing what any law-abiding citizen of this country should do. The fact that it benefits himself as well seems to be more of a motivation as well..

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>>25796247
Playing with a cheat has a way of making you feel like your failures and successes are meaningless. What's the point to using a game system or actually building a character if you're just going to say "No, I crit this time. I don't care what the rules say. I crit, and I win and that's that."

It's not even a game anymore at that point...

Rolled 58

>>25828356
No, there's more to it than that. again, read the damn thread.

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>>25828352
Except Jack is chaotic good at worst.

>>25828356

>The fact that it benefits himself as well seems to be more of a motivation as well

Doing something that benefits yourself is not inherently evil.

>>25827727
>This being 2nd edition dungeons and dragons
>>25828082
>They didn't even bother rolling their knowledge checks or anything to see if I was bullshitting or not.
Suspending my disbelief due to major hole in story.

>>25828082
Basically I fed the magistrate a bunch of truths that didn't tell him the whole truth. I made it seem that my group were a murderous bunch of crazies that I could no longer sanely deal with.

This convinced the Magistrate to pay a visit to my group at the inn. He took a bunch of city guards with him as well. My employees and I went with him.

When he arrived, what he saw did not please him at all.

They had been drinking alchol which is extremely frowned upon in fantasy Arabian Nights. He could have tolerated that. After all, these barbarians from across the sands. He could even tolerate that the wretches were visibly flaunting their weapons. Or they had magic. Or worshiped the wrong Gods.

But he would not tolerate all of that and the verbal abuse that they flung at him for demanding their testimony regarding our journey across the sands and their magical afflictions that needed curing. Especially despised the dwarf cleric whom the magistrate berated for not easing the obvious suffering of his companions.

the fighter stood up and pretty much began insulting the lands of fantasy arabian nights proclaiming it a cursed land that only sought the deaths of all. It would be better to destroy the whole lot of ragheads and cleanse everything so that the curse of the desert wouldn't spread.

For this adventure, it was a very unfortunate set of words. Because the DM had made the dominant religious text in this region be called 'blessing of the desert'.

the Magistrate announced it was blasphemy and ordered the arrest of the entire group. Naturally, the four of them got ready to fight and was expected me to join in to help them.

I didn't, I simply ordered my employees to assist in the seizing of my former companions for righteous punishment. They were completely stunned, and then they got pissed. They attacked, believing they could win. That's when I asked the DM to pretty much reveal just how screwed they were.

>>25828433
By knowledge check, I mean the DM randomly decided.
'Okay roll a d20! High rolls makes you notice something off. or an interesting information tidbit'

Your DM never did that? Because mine did. He was constantly doing it to me during this but the players never caught on why.

>>25828557
To be truthful, I think the overall effects to the items weren't that bad. It wasn't too bad now that I think about it. They could have won if they worked together.

But what pissed them off was, that their wounds had not healed all the way. Some of their stats were lower.

DM stated the nature of cursed potions fooled them into thinking that they were at full strength/health/etc, they just never noticed that it was the opposite until it was too late.

Some bitching and complaining which got worse when they realize I had taken a bunch of their magic items. Or dicked around with some of their stuff. Like in the wizard's case, replaced her spell pouch with a bag of devouring that ate her spell components.

They also got angry when I revealed that I had hired high level caravan guards that were costing me an arm and leg. It was in fact bankrupting me but I couldn't care less. I wanted to take them down.

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>>25828433
>Caring wheher a story this fun is true or not.
>1613+400

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>>25828720

>Like in the wizard's case, replaced her spell pouch with a bag of devouring that ate her spell components.

>>25828720
So we had a great showdown in the inn.

The Magistrate never really had a chance on his own. He was fairly high level but his minions were not. Luckily I joined in to assist him with my hired swords.

The hardest part was the DM was insisting that if I killed my party members outright, I could be charged with murder. I tried to point out that they were killing the guards and trying to kill the magistrate, so that if I did kill them it was justified. But DM went, nope, you have bring them in alive for judgement in a court.

I got pretty mad at the DM. But I tried to bring them in alive. The problem is, there's a -4 penalty for hitting someone at the flat of the sword or making called shots or some stupid penalty.

It was fortunate that I had given some of the magic items away to my hired swords because I have no idea how we could have gotten through the entire encounter. My former group were baying for my blood, and I was handicapped by some bullshit about bringing in a bunch of crazy murderous players to justice alive.

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>>25828942
>MFW ending tension

>>25828942
Charged with murder by.... who?
And wouldn't the magistrate's word be good enough.
Dm trying to be fair and all but... that's some strange logic.

>>25829110
You can give his DM a break, he probably wanted to give the asshats a chance, and the story probably gets better once we get the part where they get captured.

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>Play Riddle of Steel
>Theres a moderately armored dopplehander fighter
>A merchant of great skill but very little to contribute to combat
>A crazy opium addicted scientist pyromaniac
>Some sort of horrible inhuman viking monster warlord
>A magical princess dancing princess blacksmith princess witch princess slavegirl princess
>First session
>Here is your viking slave and your princess slave
>"Whatever", Merchant frees those fuckers
>First session goes off without any hitch, the Merchant gets his shit set up, the Dopplehander and the Viking walk around the street murdering gangsters, the pyromaniac is high and satisfied.
>Later that night the Princesses player hits up the DM
>They have a solo session
>Princess tries to sell us out to some guy she never met before we've really done anything note worthy
>She offers to dance or whatever for the fucker, gives him a bunch of useless information
>insults him to his face
>Level 9 wound to the back of her head

Theres a special place for traitors

>>25828942
Sorry connection went on the fritz.

so anyways.

The caravan guards consisted of a level 5 wizard, 2 fighters level 7, level 5 ranger and a level 5 cleric of tempus.

Myself was a level 7 rogue.

There was no way I was going to be able to pay of these guys without selling away practically everything. Bankruptcy was a given pretty much.

the magistrate was pretty high level too, never learned what level but good enough that taking a few hits from bozo fighter/barbarian didn't kill him outright.

Caravan wizard cast 'web' to ensnare the wizard and cleric who were next to each other. A bit of a nasty surprise for them because apparently, the wizard hadn't prepared a counterspell such as dispel magic. Neither had the cleric much to my disbelief. So they both got stuck in the web. I could not understand my luck.

Elf bard guy, he decided much to my surprise bug out. He abandoned the group and outright started running for the window to get out of the room. I couldn't figure out why, he could have dispel magic too! I guess he decided he didn't want to fight. He just ran. Which didn't do much because Ranger decided to shoot him down with the magic sheaf arrows+1 that I had provided him. 1d8+1 damage all the way. and apparently, it was enough to bring him down to the negatives. so I guess he ran because there was no way he could take the damage. But still, what the hell?

I shouldn't complain overly much because it was bozo fighter who was on the way to fight against everyone. Because in his words: FUCK EVERYTHING

>>25829309
>Ranger runs
In that situation it would have been better to surrender and start apologising for the fighter like mad.

>>25829472
I mean bard.
Whatever.

>>25829309
He basically screamed and charged in to the fray wielding his magic two handed sword +3. The poor minion guards really had not chance against 1D10+3 damage when they're mere level 2. And his strength was still high enough for +1 damage too.

He was also gunning for me at the other end of the room. He was screaming "TRAITOR" "FUCK YOU!" "I WILL HAVE YOUR SKULL AS MY BEER FLAGON"

It was quite fortunate that the bozo fighter was an absolute idiot. Why yes, I understand you're enraged but unlike poor minion guard level 2, I have 2 level 7 fighters, a frickin' level 5 cleric that haven't attacked yet!

Basically cleric cast chant to give all allies a bonus and enemies a penalty. Then the two fighters stepped up and gave a whack at the fighter. one of them didn't connect. But the other hit with his long sword.

Bozo Fighter didn't care, he was gunning straight for me.

That's when the DM remember that he still hadn't gotten the magistrate to attack or the rest of the remaining guard.

>>25829527
I pretty much demanded that the DM roll his dice in the open because I wanted to see how the roll goes.

The Magistrate decided to strike with his warhammer. Hits the fighter. Not much damage.

Then remaining 5 minions went a whack at him. Some of them connect. But amazingly, the fighter is still standing and still charging at me.

I realized that there was very little danger for me. Mainly because I realized that even if he hit me, I could soak the damage. He was heavily damaged, cursed and weakened.

I took that opportunity to just swing my dinky short sword at him. It hit... and was enough to bring the guy to zero hp.

It was... undramatic. The player of the bozo fighter demanded some sort of last chance attack. He was spitting mad!

The DM, decided, okay. But you have to take -8 to hit penalty.

The other guy takes it... rolls...1. He dramatically drops his swords right in front me. I kick him in the head and knock him on over.

Greedy Cleric and asshole Wizard decide right now would be a great time to start appealing to my nonexistent sense of mercy.

I simply announced that I would be merciful. But first, I break their hands, and jaw. I was told not to kill them but that doesn't mean I should leave them with ability to cast spells and such right?

>>25829633
The DM seemed a bit pained but agreed that yes, I could do so but he preferred that I didn't. In fact, I could just manacle them and gag them. I pointed out that the players were still alive because of the DM stated if I killed them I would charged with murder. Which was bullshit. And I intended to kill them all in this encounter have them painted as crazed cursed villains who were more than willing to cut down an officer of the law. And I would have been a hero for stopping them.

So went and broke the hands of the mage and cleric and their jaw to stop them from casting somatic and vocal spells.

the players were getting angry again, claiming that this was utterly unfair. They had spent so much time building their characters up to level 6 and 7, etc etc.

>>25829705
I told them simply.

I didn't care.

And I also pointed out that during this entire time, the bard had probably bled to death because no one had bothered to bind his wounds.

DM stated that no, the bard was still alive. And that all of the rest of the players were going to the local jail for eventual judgement.

I got angry. They weren't supposed to survive this encounter. In fact, they were supposed to die and I would be allowed to collect their weapons, armor and treasure to pay my guards and go off into the sunset where I never had to suffer from the fact the four of them existed after being declared a hero for ending them.

but to have them in prison awaiting for 'justice' where they can escape and plot revenge on me? That simply would not stand. But I allowed them to be taken to the prison pits. Because I had no intention of letting them getting away.

I announced a broke both legs of the fighter and the bard. The DM at this point simply gave up and agreed to it over the protests of the players.

Then they all got thrown in the prison pits to await judgement. I paid my employees and requested they accompany back to my home after I sold my spices.

Everyone lives happily ever after?

Not quite, because after this, I told the DM that I was going to break into the prison like a stealthy rogue.

>>25829866
OH GOD F5

>>25829866
With a handy dandy decanter of endless water in tow and my regular thievish items.

I sneaked, I bribed, I stalked in the darkness of that prison looking for the players. I found them, locked in prison pits.

Miserable, alone. Hurting.

then I turned on the taps of my decanter of endless water and drowned them in the pits they were in.

then I snuck out and crossed the desert for home.

The end.

The DM was a total ass. I told him I was going to kill the players. he was being completely uncooperative when he realized I was being dead serious.

All that effort, and I can't get a pay off? Fuck him

>>25829928
so what happened after are you still playing in the same group?

>>25829928
Sounds like you were a bit of a dick yourself, but whatever.
DM shouldn't have done what he did.
Then again the players sounded like absolute bastards.

>>25829949

The only way to beat a dick is to outdick them.

That is to say, give them a good, furious dicking.

>>25829967
Ah good ol' fencing match.

>>25828848

No, that's crap in the same way as >>25828360. It's more fun if it's true.

>>25829928
The other players had been watching this entire part of my sneaky part. still acting like assholes praying and bragging that I was going to be dragged into the prison pits like them, all broken.

but the fact of the matter? I'm a goddamn rogue. I am not one of those, well I know how to 'read language' rogue. No, I have the classic skills of hide in shadow and move silently and they are screwed.

When the players realized I was getting closer and closer to their characters who were unable to swim to avoid drowning due to injuries or call for help because they were all gagged (yes, of course, brilliant plan. Talk shit to your guards to the point they gag you!).

They really came to the realization, that yes. I was going to kill them all. And I was going to enjoy it.

>>25829941
This

>>25796135
2/10
Why am I responding to this?

>>25829941
Of course not, I would never play in a group like that again. It's one thing for an occasional ribbing and good natured prank like hiding your short sword in a watermelon or throwing a bunch of greek fires into the campfire for a bit of a joke.

Once! twice! But constantly? No

Fifteen adventure sessions with these guys? Never again.

>>25825678
I have a similar story as well. Pretty much the exact same thing, but more Bardy.

>>25830176
Storytime it?

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>>25830251

>>25830251
Ah. Silly me.
>Bard2/Gunslinger5(Pistolero)
>Have an assload of grit
>Beguiler wants to burn down an inn with civies in it
>Paladin and I say No.
>Rest of party says Yes.
>Paladin gets knocked out cold first round.
>Start using Up Close and Personal and damage feats
>5 nat 20's in a row, crit confirm every time
>Wipe my own party
>Take Paladin bro to hospital, rest of party bleeds out.
>Paladin bro and I get rewards from the towns for our efforts in the form of everything they had
>We buy sick ass bling and enchantments

>>25830344
That...
That sounds fantastic. Pure luck victories are the best.

> Exalted 2e, I'm storyteller
> 7 characters, don't really remember most of them
> Sidereal sneak-type working for Bureau of Destiny
> Sidereal talkbox
> Infernal (Malfeas) meatstick berserker type
> Infernal is complete dick to talkbox (not just this campaign, but constantly). Insists on always fucking him over, whether it's IC-appropriate or not
> NEW PLAYER: repentant Abyssal (I'll make this world better, and be the shadow that I hope it never needs) archer/assassin
> Infernal gets talkbox dead, celebrates by ganking all his shit and selling it to get with whores...whores for days...oh, plot? Nah. Whores.
> Abyssal gets aggravated at this
> Infernal player keeps being an asshole to everyone just because "it makes sense in character"
> Abyssal approaches me with a plan
> Kill some important people, frame Infernal, ???????, Profit
> I chuckle, discuss it with a couple of other players (in vague concept, nothing specific)
> They say "fuck that prick do something about it"
> pokerface.jpg
> Sidereal gets new orders from Bureau: cover up any evidence that would clear Infernal
> Infernal player misses a session to bone whale of girlfriend
> Shit goes down while he's busy with whores (both IC and IRL; srsly, she's fat enough and shitty enough to count as 3-5 whores)
> He comes back next session
> Discovers he has weird STD that's making his godly cock rot off (he has a Charm that would make him immune to disease, hasn't used it and doesn't use it during this)
> Gets arrested for murdering local magistrate
> All evidence points to his weapon (halberd that can make magical explosions on impact)
> Gets ready to fight guards
> Heavy response teams make presence known
> Submits to arrest
> Goes to court
> Evidence laid out before him
> Party refuses to provide alibi
> Abyssal shows up as witness
> Sidereal is also witness
> Abyssal player has moment of remorse
> Offers him last minute alibi if he agrees to terms
> Infernal player, broken, agrees
1/2

>>25831088
> Abyssal and Sidereal converse, exonerate Infernal
> For rest of game, Infernal player is Abyssal player's bitch
> talkbox player rejoins, new character
> Infernal's cock rots off, gets microshare of rewards, is assigned most dangerous roles

I wish there was more, but the story ended pretty abruptly when shit went down out of game.

>>25830048

>>25831124
America~The land of the fucktards.

>>25831175
Laptop-breaker is Infernal player, and stupid girlfriend that tried starting a fight with the armed guy is multi-whore.

Also, other armed player wasn't being dumb. Drunken idiot laptop-breaker Infernal assmouth is screaming that I'm going for my gun when there was absolutely no reason to pull it. Other player couldn't see, decides to be safe.

>>25831209
What kind of shitty as neighborhood do you live in where you need to go to fuck game night packing heat?

>>25831234
Considering one fucks fattys they're probably minorities.

>>25831249
You underestimate the belligerence and ignorant behavior of poor working class whites. That being said I live in one of the poorest and gun crazy states, and I've NEVER needed to carry a gun anywhere.

>>25831234
Closest thing to a ghetto the town has. Drug dealers everywhere, two buildings blown up because meth labs, stolen cars recovered there every week, etc. The leasing office paid for armed security (2 guys) to patrol the area from sunset to sunrise, literally every night.

>>25831249
Not the players, definitely the neighborhood.

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>>25795660

Only do it if you end up turning it into a glorious bastard moment where you double-doublecross the BBEG and end up getting half a bazillion dollars AND saving the NPC AND coming through for the party just when they think you've abandoned them

Otherwise you're just a fag ruining the game to make some imaginary money