>>25743095
For information about what, exactly, it is I'm yelling about, you might find this thread helpful:
http://boards.4chan.org/tg/res/25727226

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>>25743095

GO CULTS!

LET'S GO ALBATROSSES

FIGHT...

AND WIN!

>>25743095
COME ON FLYTRAPS, THIS IS YOUR YEAR!


Oh, and Steel Soldiers, if you could win that'd be....nice

A brief note about scoring, before starting the matches: each team can score a maximum of 15 points, being awarded up to 5 points in three categories (plus bonus points for objectives): Speed, Style, and Skill. A perfect 15 score is rare, but not unheard of.

Soda Mine Barbarians @ Great Oak Watchers

The Watchers may be a team in transition, attempting to move to a more primal-focused approach, but you wouldn’t know it seeing them at The Split today. While neither team was slowed down by waves of shambling mounds (and the Barbarians fared particularly well when they came face-to-face with a stone guardian), the overgrown ruins filled with tangling vines practically stopped the Barbarians in their tracks. Recent Barbarian additions Tammy Becker (cleric) and Dana Wisenhunt (warlock) were both passable in their first crawl with the team, but Neil Nordegraf (barbarian) was visibly impeded by his still-healing arm. On the Watchers’ side, rookie Daniel Days (druid) started off slow, but eventually found his rhythm, and once the Watchers got rolling, there was little the Barbarians could do to slow them down.
Both teams had the same objective, to find four shards of a crystal and use it to activate a fey beacon. While the Watchers successfully gathered their shards first, the Barbarians were the first to activate the beacon, the only time all day the Watchers were outplayed.
FINAL SCORE
Barbarians - 10
Watchers - 13
Crawler of the Match - Daniel Days, druid, Great Oak Watchers

Lewis & Clark’s Last Chancers @ Young Mountain Yetis

Last season, the Last Chancers’ hopes of making it to the playoffs ended tragically here at Bald Mountain, and now they’re back looking for revenge on opening day. Last Chancer Clark Bell (fighter) got things off to a quick start against Bald Mountain’s native frost giants, but the Yetis were quick to answer, with Laura Hoyster (rogue) making quick work of the runic puzzles blocking their progress. Avalanches also threatened, but failed to slow, both teams, as they both blazed through the cutbacks, caverns, and narrow ledges of Bald Mountain in an almost flawless display of skill from both sides. The only objective today was to reach the summit before the other party, and it ended up being a game of inches, as Bell hurled the Last Chancers’ rogue, Jaxon Tracy, to the end marker, seconds before the Yeti’s Jake Summers could reach it.
FINAL SCORE
Last Chancers - 13
Yetis - 12
Crawler of the Match - Clark Bell, fighter, Lewis & Clark’s Last Chancers

>>25743515
God damnit Neil, you fucked it up. Cut the fucker. CUT THE FUCKER ALLREADY

The Pitt Steel Soldiers @ Monument City Ravenguard

There’s rivalries, and then there’s this. Few teams have more bad blood between them than the Steel Soldiers and the Ravenguard, and it all came out in the Rookery today. The Pitt’s party leader, fighter Jedd Kozlowski, was once famously quoted as saying “Our job is to beat the Ravenguard,” and after today’s showing, nobody should doubt his commitment to that statement. The Steel Soldiers had a near-flawless crawl, even against the Rookery’s disorienting rotating room puzzles, an obstacle they have historically struggled against. Meanwhile, the Ravenguard stumbled in the spinning rooms (possibly because of the earlier tinering of the Steel Soldiers’ artificer, Suzy Arrington), and again when the Rookery’s trademark cage traps were set off (again, possibly helped along by Arrington).
Both teams had the same objective, to carry a torch to the central chamber and light the ceremonial flame that burns above the Rookery throughout the season. Both teams reached the chamber at the same time, and yet another skirmish broke out, but the Ravenguard’s scout, Nemo Bryant, was able to slip past Steel Soldier spellsword Dominic Vie and light the flame, to thunderous cheers.
FINAL SCORE
Steel Soldiers - 11
Ravenguard - 12
Crawler of the Match - Suzy Arrington, rogue, The Pitt Steel Soldiers

>>25743515
Stupid Barbarians... haha

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In my heart, Mr. Torgue is providing color commentary for these crawls.

>THIS FIGHT REMINDS ME OF MY DAD!
>ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!

New England Cultists @ Yorkshire Giant Slayers

Two years ago, the Giant Slayers ended the Cultists’ playoff dreams, something the Cultists haven’t forgotten about for this week one matchup. The Cultists rolled into Footfall with two potent offensive weapons, barbarian Toren Atkinson and summoner Daniel Schoenberger, and barely even slowed down when faced with Footfall’s trademark dire crocodiles and oozes. Not to be shown up, the Giant Slayers matched the Cultists step-for-step, fighter Tessa Summerlin and rogue Ian Pellow both almost flawless. In fact, had the Cultists not accidentally triggered a collapsing building trap, both teams would’ve been close to perfect crawls.
In the end, it all came down to the objective. The dungeon was seeded with magical rings, all of them cursed but one. Jazz Ashton, the Giant Slayers’ wizard, quickly found the correct ring, and the Cultists’ alchemist, Evan Ward, will probably be out a week or two to recover from his mistake.
FINAL SCORE
Cultists - 13
Giant Slayers - 14
Crawler of the Match - Ian Pellow, rogue, Yorkshire Giant Slayers

New Cardon Flytraps @ Capitol Red Scars

The Red Scars’ home, the Blood Bowl, is less a dungeon and more an arena. Every week, teams face a different “monster of the week”, ferocious beast drawn into the dungeon from a mysterious location. The Flytraps were the first away team to enter the Blood Bowl this year, and it had a nice surprise waiting for them: a massive bulette, always a fan favorite. Fighter Ian Marsh and trapsmith Meri Stevenson both were taken out of the fight by the creature, leaving wizard Jan McClure and medic Joe Gomez to finish the match alone. As the match wore on, the Red Scars weren’t without troubles of their own, as sorcerer Sadie Swansea also found herself incapacitated, despite fighter Will Trettin’s furious attacks against the monster. Swansea is expected back next week, but Marsh and Stevenson could be kept out of the action for a week or two.
However, the objective was simply to keep the bulette from destroying a small stone tower in each of the team’s start zones, and with the Flytraps down two crawlers, the Red Scars easily outlasted them.
FINAL SCORE
Flytraps - 9
Red Scars - 12
Crawler of the Match - Will Trettin, fighter, Capitol Red Scars

New Amsterdam Genasi @ Outlander Gatekeepers

The Edge is not an easy place to crawl. The Gatekeepers’ home dungeon is unlike any others, a small pocket dimension where reality twists and turns. And the Genasi were the first away team to face it after its long hibernation. You never would’ve guessed that this wasn’t their home dungeon. Shadow creatures from the Long Night stalk the corridors of the Edge, but Genasi swashbucker Melody Cortez wasn’t bothered a bit by their presence, and the team of scout Theo Abbey and sorcerer Ash Woodward easily overcame the portal-jumping puzzles and prevalant explosive runes. Meanwhile, the Gatekeepers were left in a lurch in their own dungeon, losing a significant amount of time (and rogue Josh Woodward (no relation)) to the very same portals that the Genasi so easily solved.
The task given to both teams, to defend the Gate against wave after wave of shadow creatures, was handled well by both teams, and the task of sealing off the Gate was also easily done, with the Gatekeepers’ summoner Tina Gomez performing particularly well, especially considering the absense of J. Woodward. However, the Gatekeepers weren’t able to perform well enough to overcome their failures with the portals.
FINAL SCORE
Genasi - 12
Gatekeepers - 9
Crawler of the Match - Theo Abbey, scout, New Amsterdam Genasi

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Terminus Devils @ Crescent River Martyrs

The last time these two teams met, it came to be known as The Bodybag Game, with the Martyrs being forced to send in three backups and the Devils one. This time around, Crescent River was out for revenge, with even the stadium itself seemingly lashing out at the Devils. As the Devils’ fighter Chuck Vanderkar and rogue Dirk Andersen struggled against dire crocodiles and bogmen, alchemist Louis Calgori was overwhelmed by swarms of mosquitos and the swampy terrain, eventually succumbing and being pulled from the match. Meanwhile, the Martyrs were on-point, seemingly unaffected by the suffocating humidity as swashbuckler Juin Caravane and rogue Trudy Puckett scattered the bogmen who stood in their way.
Despite their struggles, the Devils managed to successfully steal the scepter from the Bog King. However, during the subsequent fight against the Bog King’s army of ghosts, Puckett slipped in during the confusion and secured the scepter for the Martyrs, a small bit of payback for last time.
FINAL SCORE
Devils - 9
Martyrs - 13
Crawler of the Match - Trudy Puckett, rogue, Crescent River Martyrs

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>>25743934
well shit

Magnolia City Minotaurs @ Tidewater Sahaugin

The temperature was well into the triple digits when the Minotaurs showed up at Tidewater Rock, and as the crawl began, the humidity lay heavily over the dungeon like a thick blanket, leaving both teams gasping for air before the match had even started. Both teams’ fighters put on decent showings given the conditions, with the Minotaurs’ fighter JJ Evans cleaving his way through waves of grindylow, and the Sahaugin’s ranger, Cat Singleton, pulling off an impressive killshot on a dire shark bearing down on her team. However, as both teams descended deeper into the depths of Tidewater Rock, the punishing conditions took their toll. The Minotaurs’ alchemist, Ellert Reynaldsson, nearly drowned when a sudden change of the tides swept him out into the open sea, and the Sahaugin’s sorcerer, Eric Davies, became trapped as rising water quickly filled a room.
The teams had been tasked with stealing a gemstone eye from a statue the grindylow worship as a god, but by the time the parties had reached their goal, they were both looking shaky. The Sahaugin were first to reach the statue and pry and eye loose, but as wave after wave of grindylow flooded the room to stop them, the Minotaurs, now also with eye in hand, were able to escape first.
FINAL SCORE
Minotaurs - 10
Sahaugin - 9
Crawler of the Match - JJ Evans, fighter, Magnolia City Minotaurs

Monterrey Aztecs @ Fort Worthington Jackalopes

The Jackalopes’ home dungeon, known simply as “The Fort”, is a relic left over from the Elven-American wars. While many protest its use as a dungeon, citing historical insensitivity, it will, at least for another year, be the Jackalopes’ home. The Aztecs rolled into town looking to put the hurt on the Jackalopes in their own dungeon, but in the end, it was a surprisingly calm crawl from both teams. The Fort’s normal hazards - giant scorpions and dire rattlesnakes - were mysteriously absent as both teams instead were faced with ghosts and skeletons of those who died in the war. While the Aztecs’ blood magic was mostly ineffectual against the undead foes, barbarian Vic Rivas made quick work of them. Surprisingly, the Jackalopes, a team with both a paladin and a cleric on their roster, struggled against the undead. Paladin Tom Justice had a passable performance, but rookie cleric Annette Furst was visibly shaken by the encounter. The Jackalopes’ other new addition, rogue Sam Lee, also seemed to struggle at first, accidentally activating a spinning blade trap that nearly beheaded him, before finding his groove later in the crawl.
Both teams had the same objective, to bring a flask of holy water to a fountain in the center of the dungeon, and pour the vial in to lay the undead to rest. While Olivia Bates, the Aztecs’ blood mage, briefly tried to argue against completing the objective, the Jackalopes were able to beat them to the fountain.
FINAL SCORE
Aztecs - 11
Jackalopes - 13
Crawler of the Match - Victor Rivas, barbarian, Monterrey Aztecs

>>25744834
a wins a win but cmon Jackalopes get it together, we aren't gonna win any major crawls like that

>>25743515

GO SODA MINE!

Lastwall Shields @ West Mesa Coyotes

Every crawl in the Sandia Mountains, the Coyotes home dungeon, is an endurance match, some more than others. But there was no way the Shields could’ve known what they were in for this week. What started out as a seemingly objectiveless crawl soon revealed itself to be a test of endurance, as both teams had to survive an entire day and night in the treacherous Sandia Mountains. The Shields, despite being a defensively-focused team, came into the dungeon with a lighter-than-normal loudout, and the strategy paid off, as Sandia threw very little their way in terms of monsters, and instead cranked up the heat. Brent Haywood, the Shields’ fighter, was visibly slowed by the heat, even with the lighter armor, but easily held off the various wildlife that took an interest in his team. The Shields’ medic, Eldon Wells, struggled to keep his team upright, as did Shauna Hernandez, the Coyotes’ druid, but as night fell, both teams were struggling. And as temperatures plummeted, both teams started to make critical mistakes. Coyotes cleric Troy Beaman went down in a rockslide, and the Shields almost lost Wells while traversing a narrow cliff ledge.
As the sun rose in the morning, it was obvious the Shields had weathered the night better, thanks to their focus on endurance. This loss will likely leave a bad taste in the Coyotes’ mouths for weeks to come.
FINAL SCORE
Shields - 8
Coyotes - 6
Crawler of the Match - Eldon Wells, medic, Lastwall Shields

I've got 300 silver pieces ridinig on the Desert Walkers, they better not fuck this up or i might lose a leg

River City Kobolds @ Bunker City Defenders

Take one of the most talented rogues in the game and put him into one of the most heavily trapped dungeons in the Rio Grande division and what do you get? A surprisingly quick match, actually. Ned Coates, rogue for the River City Kobolds (and largely regarded as the best in the NACL) entered the Defenders’ home dungeon of Lockdown with a chip on his shoulder today, and it showed. Entering his 15th year in the league, Coates knows his time is running short, and he seems determined to win it all, even if he has to drag his whole team. Unfortunately, that may be the case, as the Kobolds did not show their normal flash in the sturdy corridors of Lockdown. Not to say that the Defenders were brilliant either, as fighter Jessica Cain was laid low by a swarm of clockwork beetles early in the match.
With a classic capture the flag objective, requiring the teams to steal a flag from their opponent’s start zone and bring it back to their own, both teams were much less careful than usual, and the Kobolds paid for it when sorcerer Amily Sparks became trapped between sealed bulkheads. Neither team put up spectacular defense, and both had their flags stolen, but the Defenders were able to score before the Kobolds. When questioned after the crawl, the normally unflappable Coates was visibly upset.
FINAL SCORE
Kobolds - 11
Defenders - 12
Crawler of the Match - Mitchell Branch, trapsmith, Bunker City Defenders

Lost Vegas Dust @ Sonora Desert Walkers

Heat seemed to be the theme of the day, as temperatures in the Desert Walkers’ home dungeon, the Valley of the Sun, soared well above 100 degrees F. Lost Vegas is a team known for its versatility, and it looked like they’d need every trick in the book to pull a win out of these punishing conditions.
The teams were tasked with traversing the valley without falling prey to the many hazards within, and the Desert Walkers were an early favorite, for obvious reasons. But the Dust wasn’t just going to roll over, relying on their fluid roster to quickly adapt to the situation. Dust bard Bennett Tsukino actually took over the role of warrior, backed up by artificer Katie Frost, while spellsword Lyra Moon, usually the starting warrior, took to a support role. The Desert Walkers stuck to their traditional lineup, veterans of many desert crawls, with ranger Brendan Knapp and druid Clair “Acorn” Tillman clearing a path through the overgrown gila monsters that patrol the dungeon. By the end, though, both teams had suffered at the hands of the Valley, with the Dust losing alchemist Ian “Biscuit” Douglas to a patch of explosive cacti, and the Desert Walkers’ cleric, Paul Slopes, going down hard to a swarm of giant scorpions. Ultimately, the Desert Walkers dragged themselves over the finish line before the Dust, giving them the narrow win.
FINAL SCORE
Dust - 7
Desert Walkers - 8
Crawler of the Match - Clair Tillman, druid, Sonora Desert Walkers

Rolled 50

>>25745230
damn, I was rooting for ya Kobolds!

>>25745265
>>25745192
thank the lords, I was on the edge of my seat the entire match

>>25744499
FUCK YEAH, CRESCENT CITY MARTYRS! CAST OUT THE DEVILS!

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>>25745265
>Clair “Acorn” Tillman

I see what you did there.

Silent Bay Sharks @ Bay City Dwarves

It was a battle of the bays in The Leading Dark this week, as the upstart Sharks try and rack up their first win of the year against the storied Dwarves. Both teams are very physical, and their power was put on display against the withering shades that inhabit The Leading Dark, creatures that barely stood a chance against the Sharks’ offensive team of barbarian Kahuna and sorcerer Jenna Song, or against the fearsome swordwork of the Dwarves’ fighter, DeSean Levy (only his third year in the league and some are already speculating on his future Hall of Fame status). In fact, the only time either team struggled was against the vicious traps that still fill the dungeon, left behind by the Drow hundreds of years ago. While the Sharks’ rogue, Alex Kanagawa, struggled slightly against the poison darts lining the hallways, the Dwarves lost rogue Erik Kearney when poison gas flooded the room he was searching.
As the teams entered the dungeon, their objective became clear: a portal to the Shadow Realm had opened on the lowest level, and it was up to the parties to fight their way through the shades and seal the portal. Thanks once again to the teamwork of Kahuna and Song, the Sharks were the first on the scene, and had the portal locked down in a matter of minutes.
FINAL SCORE
Sharks - 13
Dwarves - 9
Crawler of the Match - Jenna Song, sorcerer, Silent Bay Sharks

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>>25745161
Let's go Last Wall! Game wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be, but a win's a win in my book!

>mfw Haywood beating the shit out of that Dire Boar

Great Basin Crusaders @ St. Iago’s Thunderbolts

As last season came to a close, the once-hot Thunderbolts seemingly couldn’t do anything right. They host the Crusaders week one in their home dungeon of Torrey Pines hoping to reverse this trend. One of the more docile dungeons in the league, Torrey Pines can still challenge unprepared crawlers, with frequent transitions from rocky terrain to beaches to underwater portions. But neither team seemed particularly bothered this week, as they both cruised past the handful of wildlife that impeded their progress, and failed to fall victim to Torrey Pines’ trademark dry quicksand. Both team’s trapfinders, the Crusaders’ Gordon Wolfe (inquisitor) and the Thunderbolts’ Rhonda Little (rogue) managed to impress, successfully disarming everything in their path.
The teams’ objective was a straightforward one: take their flag and plant it atop a small hill near the waterfront, and with Torrey Pines throwing virtually no challenges at the teams, it was a straight footrace between Wolfe and the Thunderbolts’ bard, Mike Bass. In what is quickly becoming par for the course for the Thunderbolts, Bass slipped at the last second, letting Wolfe reach the hilltop first. Anticipating fan backlash, the Thunderbolts have already issued a statement saying that Bass will not be cut.
FINAL SCORE
Crusaders - 14
Thunderbolts - 13
Crawler of the Match - Gordon Wolfe, inquisitor, Great Basin Crusaders

New Albion Navigators @ Emerald City Albatrosses

The Gas Works is one of the few industrial dungeons in the league, and it’s always interesting to see how away teams approach it. However, the Navigators are no stranger to modern dungeons, and didn’t find much difficulty in the Albatrosses’ home. Navigating the pistons, spinning gears, and lingering pockets of gas was little trouble for either team, with the only real danger coming when the Navigators’ rogue, Tybalt Black, unexpectedly came face-to-face with Ava Dodge, the Albatrosses’ artificer. After a brief scuffle that ended when Dodge ignited a gas pocket to make her escape, the two teams wouldn’t meet again in the maze-like interior of The Gas Works.
The objective of the match was to destroy as many of The Gas Works’ golems as possible, and collect the magical gems that power the automatons, within a 90 minute time limit. While Black did a stellar job for the Navigators, the combined effort of the Albatrosses’ barbarian Tyson Baird and alchemist Audrey Marble tipped the scales in the Albatrosses’ favor.
FINAL SCORE
Navigators - 13
Albatrosses - 14
Crawler of the Match - Tybalt Black, rogue, New Albion Navigators

Goldenport Marauders @ Taggenton Otters

And so starts another season for the Otters. The Marauders are a team known for playing “less than clean”, and the Otters, a team known for favoring dexterity over strength, generally aren’t built to survive an all-out brawl. Unfortunately for the Otters, the objective of the day was to take and hold a bridge crossing the Williamette River. To their credit, the Otters performed admirably, with fighter Jeremey Fitzgerald (one of the few fighters in the league who favor the crossbow) laying down a withering hail of fire and allowing the Otters to take the bridge from the lizardmen who initially held it.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before the Marauders showed up, and while the Otters were able to keep them at bay for a short period of time, the Marauders did what they did best, and unleashed hell upon the Otters. The Marauders’ sorcerer, Keeley “Keel” Reinowski, took out Otters cleric Eleanor Blancheflower with a particularly devastating fireball, and without any healing support, the otters were forced to retreat. In a last-ditch effort, Daniel “Goro” Minami, the Otters’ scout, attempted to rig the bridge for collapse, only to be met by Tank Pryce, the Marauders’ star fighter. Minami escaped without major injury.
FINAL SCORE
Marauders - 14
Otters - 9
Crawler of the Match - Keeley Reinowski, sorcerer, Goldenport Marauders

>>25745622

Man, Bass always had the worst luck.

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>>25745838

>>25745622
>lgtss

THE CITY OF BASS

I thought for sure the Giant Slayers would have the highest score of the week, but then not one, but TWO 14 point scores in the Northwest division?

To be fair, the Marauders were basically handed the game, but gotta give props to the Albatrosses.

>>25745838

I don't care what the tally says, the star of that match was Minami. Reinowski always takes it too damn far.

>>25746030
Goro did put on a good show, especially considering it was his first match in the NACL. I was wary of the acquisition at first, but now I can totally see his potential.

>>25746095

I know, right? Always thought ninjas were something of a fad and a novelty. But, damn. Minami made me a believer.

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>>25745458
>mfwddwwdso

bored /sp/artan with not a clue in the world as to what's going on... why'd you make a thread on our board if it's not sports and we can't watch the action?

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>>25745747

>>25745458
based peanut

>>25745838
Was this the last match? I'm too lazy to count them but it's been like 20 minutes.

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>>25746323
because they're autistic clearly

So is this an actual thing, or is it just more Chapter Master-tier theorywank?

>>25746465
Define "actual thing". I mean, obviously, no, there are not really 32 teams around the country entering magical dungeons and fighting off monsters. But the Commish created the league and is simulating and writing up matchups and (supposedly) going to have a live broadcast at some point of a game.

>>25746459
I count 16. Does that mean no more matches until next week?

>>25746461
dohoho. while the jab is taken in stride, there's not much here for /sp/ to attach itself to cause we can't even see if a crit has been rolled or whatever.

>>25746465
It's theory shit.
I thought it was some serious tourney LARP shit at first, then I googled it and was seriously disappointed.

>>25746465
As far as theorywank goes, I think Updatemania nailed it. Chapter Master theorywank got a little stale and repetitive after a while.

>>25746672
That was the entire point of Updatemania though, to constantly keep fresh, unique, and original ideas circulating every day. It was a much more open-ended and fluid setting too, unlike Warhams which is horribly stagnant.

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>>25745481
KEARNEY
OF COURSE IT WAS FUCKING KEARNEY
FUCK

>>25746736
Chapter Master was fluff-stagnant because it took place in the 40K universe, so it was pretty much doomed to stagnation and zero plot progress from the start. However, at one point there was actually a group of people that tried to get a working beta of CM made, unlike Updatemania which saw plenty of fluff, but absolutely zero effort made towards establishing any kind of crunch.

>tfw completely lost in this conversation because i never browse /tg/
one of these days i need to hire one of you autists to help me create a pleb-friendly gameplay system for a football-themed board game.

>>25746917
Bloodbowl works, if you fluff different races as actual races like white, black, samoan, etc.

>>25746589
weren't you talking about simulating an NFL game with /tg/-like rolls and stuff in /nfl/ last night? /tg/ could probably figure out how to make it work somehow so there could be real matches

>>25746839
You can't give me that bullshit line about stagnation in 40K. Haven't you ever heard of the "Your Dudes" philosophy before? That's what Chapter Master was all about. YOUR DUDES. There was TONS of stuff happening, constantly, just only on the scale of YOUR DUDES and THEIR STUFF. Of course there's not going to be any massive, galactic scale shit happening, because then that would mess up the possibilities of YOUR DUDES. In Chapter Master, you got more of an immersion and a personal connection to Your Dudes. In Updatemania, you're literally only in it for the gameplay, and there's no sense of personality or depth to any of the characters.

>>25746965
>bloodbowl
too complex and too long to simulate, this is /sp/ we're talking about. we need something easy to follow, like candyland or some shit.

okay well maybe not THAT simple, but you get my point.

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>>25746968
not last night but recently yeah, i spent a good amount of time creating the "map" (field) so it can be pasted into roll20 (since that's the only software you guys suggested) but i have no idea how to actually work the game. gonna need some serious brainstorming.

>>25745161
>tfw my team got the lowest score of the week

That match...was fucking brutal.

Woo. Go Watchers.

>>25747156
Not to be a bit off topic but...shit... a /TG/ Footbal pen and paper... i could see it happening

>>25743095
You sir are an excellent person, this is fucking fantastic.

Holy shit, almost missed this. Gonna go read through the matches now. Dust 4 lyfe.

What's up with that dark patch on the map?

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>>25749769
>mfw nobody expects the otters to do anything this year and we sneak into the playoffs

>>25745622

SON OF A BITCH

>>25749954
>implying you'll get past the first round

top lel

Marauders gonna be wearing Otter fur hats when they win the crawlerb owl

>>25744796
Good job JJ, good job!

I am glad we are back in form after our bad showings in the preseason.

MINOTAURS!

>>25750102
>implying the marauders are going to do anything this year

You got 14 points on a cakewalk against the Otters, nobody's impressed. The Navigators and the Albatrosses both almost got perfect scores in a much more difficult dungeon. Enjoy third place in the division, Marauders. At least you'll be ahead of the Otters.

>>25745230
Fucking Kobolds, come on.

Coates deserves another title before he retires.

>>25750539
Nobody "deserves" a title. He should fucking earn it.

>>25750539
Sides, his fucking old ass should have retired 4 years ago. Diving is NOT an sport for old people, hell I Would throw his worthless ass into the long night region

>>25751364
Lemme guess, you're a Marauders fan.

Some of us like showing a little respect to our franchise players. Though I suppose nobody in Goldenport even knows what the word "respect" means, especially after how they treated Kennet Burrow at the end of his career. Now instead of having someone for Marauder fans to look up to, you've got a nice ugly stain on your team's history.

Oh, phew. I was worried my Thunderbolts would actually pull off a close win, but no, things are all normal here.

goddamnit dwarves get your shit together.

OP, any chance we could get relative power rankings of maybe the top 10 crawlers or something? It'd help put things in perspective, IMO.

>>25758525
Don''t worry, I got this

OFFICIAL NACL POWER RANKINGS
1. JJ Evans
2. Clark Bell
3. Will Trettin
4. Victor Rivas
5. Tank Pryce

POWER GAP

999. Ned Coates

POWER GAP

9999. Anyone on the Otters

>implying anyone but warriors matters on a team

Coates just gets an honorable mention because he's so old.

>>25758525
Yeah, I suppose. It's not exact by any means, but it should be enough to give a rough idea.

1) Ned Coates, rogue, River City Kobolds
2) Laura Hoyster, rogue, Young Mountain Yetis
3) Tank Pryce, fighter, Goldenport Marauders
4) DeSean Levy, fighter, Bay City Dwarves
5) Elizabeth Oshiro, wizard, New Albion Navigators
6) JJ Evans, fighter, Magnolia City Minotaurs
7) Toren Atkinson, barbarian, New England Cultists
8) Clair "Acorn" Tillman, druid, Sonora Desert Walkers
9) Joseph Swan, paladin, Great Basin Crusaders
10) Johnnie "Horns" Henderson, ranger, West Mesa Coyotes

A healthy Neil Nordegraf would normally be in the top 5, right now he's probably sitting squarely at 11 or 12. Interestingly, no healers made the Top 10, and there's a sizable power gap between the top-tier rogues (Coats and Hoyster) and the rest.

>>25759229
You could also just post the lineup of last years all-star game.

Also, why do you think there are no healers in the top10?
Are they just not as good anymore?
Has the metagame changed so much since the 50's and 60's where the good healers dominated the league?
Or are they just underrated by the fans nowadays?

In other league news, I was planning on rolling out Week Two on Thursday, but whoops, that's the 4th of July (woo America). I won't be able to do it Tuesday or Wednesday, and if I push it back to Friday the turnaround time is too short for Week Three coming Saturday or Sunday, so maaaybe going to wait until next Sunday for Week Two, then move to the twice a week schedule after that.

I'll still do a midweek news thread, though. The NACL has got some big announcements coming down the pipe, including the location of this year's playoffs.

>>25759229
Best fucking fighter in the League!

Goldenpooort

>>25759229
Kind of surprised at some of these, but I guess we don't actually know what teams are "good" and "bad" yet.

Didn't expect to see the Coyotes with a player in the top 10.

>>25759355
I guess I could just list the top 3 at each position. Again, this is slight conjecture, since the system I'm using is d6 based, so there's only so much variation I can get between each player's skill level.

>Warrior
1) Tank Pryce, fighter, Goldenport Marauders
2) DeSean Levy, fighter, Bay City Dwarves
3) JJ Evans, fighter, Magnolia City Minotaurs

>Mage
1) Elizabeth Oshiro, wizard, New Albion Navigators
2) Clair "Acorn" Tillman, druid, Sonora Desert Walkers
3) Alice Tran, wizard, Lastwall Shields

>Healer
1) Ian "Biscuit" Douglas, alchemist, Lost Vegas Dust
2) Isabelle Fin, cleric, Great Basin Crusaders
3) Olivia Bates, blood mage, Monterrey Aztecs

>Trapfinder
1) Ned Coates, rogue, River City Kobolds
2) Laura Hoyster, rogue, Young Mountain Yetis
3) Alex Kanagawa, rogue, Silent Bay Sharks

>>25760043
Thanks for the lists. Personally, i couldn't care less on how you get to the results. D6, D666, Coinflips, your imagination only, whatever. Keep up the good work :)

Sadly i don't have a local team, so i adopted the Mino-fucking-taurs as my team. Hopefully the rest of the team will start to show the consistency of JJ.

>>25743095

Yo I just wanna say on an unrelated note that NACL is one of the coolest OC's to come out of /tg/ in a really, really long time. Keep up the good work, Commissioner!

>>25760043
Interesting that the top three warriors are all fighters, and the top three trapfinders are all rogues. No barbarians or rangers for the former, or trapsmiths, scouts, ninjas, etc in the latter.

Maybe specializing too much at the position compromises flexibility too much?

>>25760701
Perhaps it's just a probability thing. Are there significantly more fighters and rogues in the league? If so then there's better chance for a top ranked athlete to be a fighter or a rogue.

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>>25760849
Out of 32 warriors, 17 are fighters
Out of 32 trapfinders, 18 are rogues

However, for healers, 16/32 are clerics, and only one is in the top 3, and only 9/32 mages are wizards, yet 2 of the top 3 are wizards.

Alright, I'm really feeling the Genasi this year. They got a pretty solid 12 in an away crawl, which they're infamous for being far from the best at. Abbey's been putting in some work, as have all of the others. This is our time, Genasi fans. This is the year of the Genasi.

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Hey guys, just a simple guy from Dayton, Ohio with one hell of a story to tell.

So I was walking through some back fields, not realizing how close I was to the border of Long Night. I know, I know they usually have the area quarantined, but for whatever reason all the blockades around these parts have been abandoned. When suddenly this huge glowing portal opens up and these four guys come flying through!

They seemed like nice enough guys, though one of them wasn't exactly talkative. Armed to the teeth all of them like they were on there way to a crawl. Except when I mentioned that to them, they all kinda looked at me like my head was on backwards. These guys must've been living under a rock.

So I take them over to my college's crawl, a little field of sentient industrial waste, to see if they have any interest. Boy was I in for a surprise.
HOOWEE! I'd never seen a team move that fast! These boys moved like NACL pros! I had to get them registered as a team and get them started on the track to the minors at least. Talent like there's needs to be seen by everyone!

It's kind of an odd team but you gotta see it to believe it!
Barbarian
Sorcerer
Bard
Artificier

Those boys are going far!

Don't want to start a 'stat me' flame war. Just thought the idea of these four crossing over into the NACL world was neat

>>25749769
The Long Night?

Yeah, it's leftover from the seven nation's war.
It's an area that makes the underdark seem safe.
The worst things that can come out in dungeons, are the least dangerous thing in the long night.
But I don't want to hear any apologists. I know that it had to be done, and by the Judge we did it. The Long Night was what finally brought peace.

Besides, that was a long, long time ago now.

bump

Nobody's talking about them, but the Dust are looking good.

>>25761424
"Had to be done"? Please. Do you know what my family had to go through, moving out of the effected zone? We made it out all alright, but some weren't as lucky.

Any tips for an aspiring crawler? I'm going to be trying out for my college team in the fall. I've got a little bardic training, hoping to be a mage, but I'd be happy with healer or trapfinder too.

>>25752070
hey bud eat a dick you're damn right I'm a mauraders fan and yes I still think ye old one arm fucker needs to go into the long night

Hey there commissioner I've been reading over your threads for good well and I am severely tempted to make my own variant though more from like with some influences from eyeshield 21, blitz ,and other things for that bit of over the topness also where did you make those uniform kits?

>>25766958
Bard top lel be a warrior or nothing at all fucking pleb scum

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>>25745747

>>25763687

There are like, 3 of us Dust fans. We aren't talking much because we lost our first match.

>>25765903

29% made it out of the effected zone in time.

16% were delivered after the process had started

41% Are confirmed removed.

14% Are missing

Less than 1% managed to be delivered after the process was complete.

I'd say you were pretty lucky.

>>25767653
but that flexibility!

it was an awful crawl for both teams (7 to 8), I'm waiting until next week to judge. who are they up against?

>>25767410
Is this the only meme Seattle sports fans have? This is like the fourth time it's been posted in this thread.

>>25767970

My two step plan to fix the Dust.

>Get a dedicated Healer
>Fire every 'flexible' Ranged striker we have except for Jones.

>>25768098
That have as many memes as they have NBA franchises.

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>>25768632

>>25767410
>fighting and winning
What are they, orks?

>>25769130
This actually makes so much sense.

>seahawks brag about having the loudest stadium
>focused on having the biggest, hardest-hitting secondary in the league
>green uniforms

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Games are all simulated for Week Two. A Wednesday game night might not be infeasible, but I'll see how much I can get written tomorrow before committing to a date. A few of week one's writeups were slightly rushed and it kind of shows, unfortunately, so I want to take my time on this one.

Unrelated note: it'd be really awesome if, instead of linking to old threads for the kits, dungeons, rosters, etc., I could have everything on some sort of wiki, but unfortunately I know fuck-all about coding/HTMLing/whatever. Anyone able to step forward to possibly help?