Rolled 87

Find 5 teenage girls with attitude. Preferably they should be the best of friends.
Make them your Mighty Morphing Power Rangers.

Then we play as them.

>>25716236
i second this

Lets find Vivec. Or the Nerevarine.

Rolled 76

>>25716254
>>25716255
It's 'dice+1d100' in the email field.

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>>25716236

As you ponder about, you suddenly realize that you didn't have a champion for quite some time. That is, you had that one guy who beat up ol' Jyg, but Oblivion knows what became of him.

You need something... new! Something fresh! Something terrifying! Something like... five young lasses, all of the with pride, and attitude, and candy, united by the band of friendship and slandering.

But - what kind of girls shall it be? We could have an All-Falmer-Girl-Group? Or maybe Dweme..ah, wait, can't have that...maybe a mix?

>>25716236
Yez. Thez

Summon a cliff racer then transform it into something random. Whatever results is His, Mine, and Our new familiar.

Rolled 24

>>25716292
All Breton. In Skyrim, during the recent upheaval.

Rolled 15

>>25716314
whoops, here's my (sweet)roll. Get it? HAHA!

Rolled 24

>>25716292

1 Imperial (Alpha Girl)
1 Nord (Tomboy)
1 Breton ( Am I kawaii, ugu?)
1 Orc (Tsundere)
1 Redguard (token black girl)

>>25716316
Nah, let's make them mostly Nords and one Khajiit.

Rolled 18

>>25716336
Woops. Forgot the 1 in 1d100

Rolled 98

>>25716292
5 Khajit.

Rolled 54

>>25716336
All Nords, and the Argonian is their best friend who covers for them?

Rolled 24

>>25716348
Let's try and beat this.
1 Dunmer, 1 Redguard, 1 Imperial and twin Nords.

Rolled 100

>>25716348
All Dunmer.

>>25716379
Holy shit

>>25716379

Have the dice gods spoken?

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>>25716379
> dat 100

>>25716325
Well, that's not very sweet at all. I guess the jokes on me!

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>>25716348

>>25716379

> Course you, I allready hat set everything up for Khajiit. Ah well.

Deciding that the Dunmer really had had the short end of the stick since the Red Mountain thingie (Old Baar Dau did the trick, after all), you decide to make the life of five young Dunmer girls more interesting. But where shall they come from? Questions, Questions - there are many, many in Morrowind, some in Solstheim, some in Skyrim and a handful in Vvardenfell, or what remains of it.

Rolled 72

>>25716399
All Ashlanders

>>25716399
Raised in the poor district of Windhelm.

Rolled 61

>>25716416
Fuck.

>>25716412

Are there even any Ashlanders left? The already lived like shit before the Red year.

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Rolled 15

>>25716379
Oh, wow. I did not expect that.

>>25716399
Morrowind / Cyrodiil border.

Rolled 29

Second the grey quarter of Windhelm.

>>25716430
They are all ashlanders now.

>>25716430
Hmm... true... but what if, exactly 5 left? Would be destiny obviously

>>25716399
Skyrim!

Rolled 83

>>25716399

Is it not obvious?

They're from Solstheim.

Cockney accents all day errday.

Rolled 51

>>25716472

Screw that bro, >>25716443 has the right of it.

Now... We just have to see if the dice gods agree...

Rolled 75

>>25716472
Nice. We know that Hircine has some monsters there, so we can go against various "monster of the episode" things.
And we can be the last 5 Ashlanders around, sent there by our cousins.

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>>25716412

As your Pa...or Ma...or maybe Sithis?

Anyway, as a person of wise judgement once said: "If you go Dunmer, at least go full Dunmer!" And that's just what you're about to do! Yet still, there are to many questions - from which Tribes shall the girls come from? From the warlike Erabenimsun, the talkative Zainab, the faithful Urshilaku, or maybe the peaceful Ahemussa? Or should to take some from every tribe?

> Sorry for the long wait - 4chan is having hickups for me.

>>25716430
They don't have to be Ashlanders now. We can go get them back when they were.

Rolled 37

>>25716490
>Or should to take some from every tribe?

Every tribe.

Nothing's funner than forcing 5 different ethnic groups that despise each other together!

Rolled 90

>>25716490
One of each, plus one from Skyrim to mix it up.

Rolled 2

>>25716504
This. The one from Skyrim is the shy one.

Rolled 57

>>25716509

No.

The one from Skyrim is the slutty one.

Rolled 60

>>25716515
Yes.

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>>25716504

Two's a party, three's a crowd - but five? Five different people is a festival! With cheese! And murder!

Needless to say, picking five girls from five regions that are not exactly - well connected - may hamper a bit with the friendship thing, but we aren't the Daedric God of Madness for nothing, are we?

Before Haskill (who has been quietly watching your antics as per usual) even has a chance to bother you with his muted complaints, your brilliant eyes seek out five dunmer girls with quite the character!

First, there's Zulaya from the Erabenimsum - a tough one, hard as ebony. She's not exactly a charmer, but anyone saying anything else is about to lose some teeth.

Then there's Ashanabi of the Urshilaku - ooh, Nerevar this, Nerevarine that - she's this holier than thou girl that only gets things going on with celibate priests.

Thirdly, we have Zaba of the Zainab - if her name doesn't make you laugh, she'll do it. Wisecracking to no end, Zaba has had trouble with the Elders more than once, but somehow manages to worm out of it every time.

Fourthly, we have Raissu, who hails from the Ahemussa - a quiet girl, who only wants to be left in peace from the evil outside world. Shy as she is, Raissu nonetheless is a quick learner and has outsmarted Imperial traders quite often.

Fifth but not least (well, in a way), there's Nadene. Coming from the far Skyrim, Nadene is well aware that her bosom is more effective than a large club when it comes to reducing the brain activity of men to zero - if you need someone to demonstrate the legendary Dunmer promiscuity, she's your girl.


All things settled, there's the next choice - who do we get this five, rather different girls, together?

Rolled 44

>>25716581
Simple. Prophetic dreams! Fleeing from wars! Madmen exiling them!
Let them all gather at the border of Cyrodiil, Morrowind and Skyrim, where we'll reveal ourselves in our glory.

It's like all that cheese has gotten to our brains, seriously.

Rolled 75

>>25716581

Couldn't we just teleport them into that one room which turns into butterflies? That would be much faster.

Rolled 5

>>25716639

That would be to simple.

>>25716609

This

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>>25716639

Just as you are about to pull the five girls to the Shivering Isles, you feel someone tapping on your shoulder - and quite stubborn at that!

Needless to say, its Azura. You should have known that simply teleporting her beloved little Dunmer to your realm would piss her off, even more so as she has grown over-protective of "her" children after Vivec made her lick the Ebony Spear.

She doesn't speak, but her eyes rest firmly on yours. And with a tongue to weary to speak, she merely says:

"I thought we had a deal? "

You do not recollect anything of that kind.

Rolled 68

>>25716706

Can't we just get Vivec to give her the Ebony Spear again? Or use our own one?

Rolled 34

>>25716706
"Oh, hi there, gorgeous."
"I was just about to take five of your flock, give them powers and set them out in the world to have adventures. Maybe they'll save the world, I don't know and I don't care as long as I'm amused. But if you want in, feel free to do so - hell, you might be their quest giver, while I simply move the pieces for the adventure."

>>25716706
Offer her our spear. Vivec is a pissy little shit, he can't even sword an atom. She would look good it Harley Quinns jester suit

Just t' let you know, I'm readin' this whole thread in his voice.

Good job.

Rolled 11

>>25716706
>Lick the ebony spear
We should get her to lick our ebony spear.

I'm gonna be so disappointed if this isn't a euphemism.

Rolled 1

>>25716706
"Have we even talked before?"

Rolled 42

>>25716706
We must summon a trio of multi-colored cliff racers. Then ask her since when were these beasts her children? Then attach them to our floating chariot. After excusing ourselves, we should really be on our way to collect our new adventurers.

>>25716706
"Do I know you? You look familiar - do you have an invitation?"

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>>25716731
>>25716741
>>25716753

>Ohboyherewego.jpg

Before Azura can whine around any further, you grab your Ebony Spear, firmly holding its massive length in your two hands and pointing the sharp end towards her.

Azura's face turns from dark blue to a very pretty tone of light blue ( which reminds you that your palace needs a new paintjob) as she staggers backwards, grasping for air.

" Y-You DARE? No! Not AGAIN!"

What sayeth thou?

Rolled 100

>>25716795
Woops
Oh well, too late now

Rolled 81

>>25716803
Life just isn't fair ;_;

Rolled 10

>>25716797
"Those five are mine. They will become the best of friends and have powers and have a WONDERFUL ADVENTURE. Understand?"

Rolled 34

>>25716797
Do >>25716795
It'd be funny as hell.

Rolled 68

>>25716797
AZURA! SOMETHING IS GOING TO BREAK FREE FROM ITS PRISON! GET ME THOSE FIVE GIRLS WITH ATTITUDE!

Rolled 9

>>25716797
"Now, I don't understand why your denying these young woman such a great oppertunity"

Rolled 54

>>25716797
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING."

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>>25716807

Please don't roll if you do not wish to command the next action. Makes things harder for me.

Rolled 13

>>25716857
"OH NOOOO IF I DON'T GET THOSE FIVE GIRLS AND GIVE THEM POWERS SO THEY ALL HAVE A MAGICAL AND WONDERFUL ADVENTURE, I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I COULD CONTROL MYSELF. I'M SO BORED I COULD DO JUST ABOUT ANYONE."

Rolled 4

>>25716797

Well, the palace needs a new paintjob... and there's something right in front of you in JUST the right colour.

Attach Azura to the end of the Ebony Spear, use it to apply her liberally to the walls.

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>>25716841

If looks could kill, Azura's particular glare would probably reduce you to ashes. Good thing you're the madgod and you don't have to give a damn about that annoying harlot!

"Fine... take these girls - but you kill them, or should they suffer any greater harm as a result of your...machinations...I will tell Molag Bal you are actually Vivec in disguise, and then we'll see who was to take the Ebony Spear"

Without further ado, Azura teleports back into her own, painfully boring realm. A split second later, five young dunmer lasses materialize in mid-air and promptly land on their respective bottoms. They stare at you with a mixture of terror and confusion.

>What sayeth thou?

Rolled 37

>>25716797
Nothing, just slowly thrust in her direction till she submits.

Rolled 33

>>25716894
"Helloooooooo ladies"

Rolled 66

>>25716894
say nothing and simply boop each of them on the nose to give them power and then teleport them out in the wilderness.

Rolled 17

"WHO WANTS SOME CHEESE!?"

Rolled 38

>>25716894
"Laaadies! I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called you in here, today..."

Rolled 15

>>25716894

Pull out a lute, begin playing the theme.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pQYtmb-f0w

Then tell Haskill to get them into costume and send them off to go fight the super horker you just dropped in Passwall.

Rolled 69

>>25716916
>>25716909
Combine these two

>>25716292
>but Oblivion knows what became of him.

I see what you did there.

>>25716924

That was actually unintentional. I merely wanted to avoid the question whether you-know-what-happend.

Rolled 63

>>25716894
Give them each a piece of cheese, which, when eaten, will in case them in a set of flamboyantly coloured glass armour and assorted merchandisable weapons. Then plonk them in the middle of a bandit den somewhere in tamriel.

>>25716933
You might not have intended that, but CHIM sure intended that.

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>>25716936
NO! Better yet: SEND THEM TO THE SOUL CAIRN.

I mean, the Ideal Masters are probably up to SOMETHING, right?

>>25716936
yep glass helms gloves and shields only

Rolled 75

>>25716974

YEEEESSS. THIIIISS.

Rolled 86

>>25716894
"My lovely ladies. Welcome. I, Sheogorath, the Lord of Madness, welcome thee to my humble realm."
"You may ask yourselves, 'what for' and 'how come' and 'why us'. It's simple. No reason, really. I was just bored."
"'What will become of us' you ask? It's not simple. I will give you tremendous power and magic, and all you have to do is use it."
"There's no catch, no trick, nothing, only that you be what you want to be, and make something eventful happen together."

"If you don't, I'll start something only you can stop. Consider this a game that'd change Tamriel for my amusement."

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>>25716921

Without saying anything, you summon a lute struck by lightning (who former owner claimed that the Gods were dead) and promptly begin to play a fiery guiter solo.

> GO GO POWER DUNMER (doo-dee-dee-doo-doo!)

In the meantime, Haskill produces with master-crafted suits of glass armor and coerces the five girls to don them. There is but one problem.

THEY ARE GREY! GREY AS IN GREYMARCH. GREY AS IN: BOOOOOO-RING!

These things need some color? But which colors shall each girl have?

>Zulaya
>Ashanabi
>Zaba:
>Raissu:
>Nadene:

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>>25716986
>>25716999

Goddamnit. How comes that every time I think there won't be any further replies, people start spitting out near-hundreds in the dozens?

Rolled 13

>>25717000
Zulaya - Red,
Ahansabi - Blue.
Zaba - Green.
Raissu - Yellow.
Nadene - Pink.

>>25717013

The curse of quest threads, fair OP.

Rolled 75

>>25717000
>Zulaya: Red as blood of sanguine
>Ashanabi: Blue as the magicka of azura
>Zaba: Yellow the eyes of an orc
>Raissu: Neon pink as something fucking pink
>Nadene: Armor is made out of mood ring.

>>25717013
MADNESS! Its Madness I aint gotta explain shit.

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>>25717045

OP, we later need a Green or White Ranger. You know, when shit hits the fan:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lclmf3ipfiQ

If you don't do that, I'll be fucking disappointed!

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>>25717045

>DRAWFAGS! CALL FORTH THE DRAWFAGS! LORD SHEOGORATH DEMANDS IT!

With a snap of your fingers, you push color into each of the girls' armor - you overdo yourself with that of Nadene, which currently features a bright green with hu-hue-hues of orange. Admittedly, you have no idea what this color stands for, be it fear or the thought of touching onself.

Whereas most of the girls are seemingly busy keeping their lower jaws down and staring and the extremely expensive armor you just gifted them, one of them turns her pretty little head towards you - namely Ashanabi, the Urshilaku Priest-Scholar girl.

>" I recognize you Sheogorath, Prince of Madness, Corner of the House of Troubles! You gift us with magic armor, but what trickery is this! You surely wish our demise!"

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>>25717150

That's what we have the mood-ring armor for, my friend. And when in doubt, we can always get a sixth girl on board or recolor the armor of the four other ones.

Rolled 33

>>25717156
"Demise? DEMISE? How dreadfully BORING. I want you to have ADVENTURES!"

"Oh, and pop down to the market and fetch me a bit of cheese, will you?"

Rolled 43

>>25717156
"No trickery, my dear. You shall be champions of mine, my bringers of un-boredom. You will do whatever you want, wherever you want, and however you want, with my blessings. You will have kingdoms, treasures, power, and all you have to do is amuse me. Which you're doing wonderfully so far."
"That, and hasn't your tiny heart always longed for adventure, child? No need to hide it from me, I know you better than you know yourself."

>>25717150
Soon, once we hit episode 5 or 6.
We don't even have proper product placement in this show.

>>25717013
They all happen at once too.

Rolled 67

>>25717156
Inform her that she is mistaken. Do not elaborate. If she continues to complain, throw cheese at her.

>>25717205
We don't need any more cheese, we can freely manifest it. We need a list of the following items:
A.) One of the Ideal Masters.

B.) Jygallagg's Sword. Not the one he dropped, the one he currently wields.

C.) A Hist Tree.

D.) Something to make Haskill smile.

E.) The Amulet of Kings.

F.) The Heart of Lorkhan.

>>25717156
"i do not wish for your demise, what i do wish for is POWER DUNMER! (doo-dee-doo-dudududu-daa)

Rolled 92

>>25717229
If they displease us, they'll begin smelling of cheese.

Rolled 10

>>25717215
I second this one. We are going Zordon style. But who will be our enemy? I don't know yet, but someone sure will!

>>25717232
Sounds good, but what for?

>>25717243
Can't we just turn them inside out for a few minutes? Or make them look like Chimer for a few days?

>>25717247
To AWAKEN LORKHAN'S SPIRIT FOR THE BEST PARTY EVER.

>>25717215

>This show was brought to you by THE WHITERUN CHEESE DAIRY: FUS-RO-CHEESE!

(The creator of this pun was convicted and subjected to severe torture shortly after publishing this pun. All is well.)

Rolled 95

>>25717156
"Suprisingly, No! I'm just bored."
We'll conjure up a large cheese table and have them all sit down.
"I've decided that I want to see you five become good friends and have adventures with each other. The road is long, and hard and it will test your strength of will, of courage and of mind. If you accept, you'll receive powers as my champions and the beautiful armor forever.
If you don't accept, you'll get them anyway, so you can survive the machinations that have already been set in front of you."

"If you would die so soon, it would be dreadfully dull. Might as well make the best of your situation."

"and the bad things are already going to happen, all I'm doing is giving you agency."

"Anyway. I will call back, here is a list of things that you must obtain to save the world. do it anyway you wish, but please, do be /interesting/."

and port them out.

The list is like, a shopping list with ranging from high quality but mundane items like cheese or sweet roll and things like the egg of a cliff racer.

>>25717279
But, there ARE no Cliff Racers! Saint Jiub annihilated them.

>>25717299
PRECISELY.

>>25717299
We can change that.

>>25717310
FOR GOD'S SAKE NO, PLEASE.

Sheogorath is MAD, not EVIL. Don't commit the worst atrocity since the Thrassian Plague on a whim, please!

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>>25717279

> Another close call I almost overlooked..

As you port the girls back to...wait a second, where the hell did you port them in the first place? Hopefully not to Oblivion - as amiable as Dunmer drowning in a sea of lava are, these ones are made for a higher duty! But seriously, where did you send them? And if we are at that , what was the first object on the list?

By all means, you need some brain-pie again. Your own really has seen better days.

As you ponder, the girls are still in transit, flying through was seems to be a gigantic sea made of innards and smiling faces. Zulaya, the warrior-girl of Erabenimsum, asks: "B-but what IS cheese, anyway?"

Rolled 19

>>25717336
But it would be fun! Think of the chaos that would ensue!

>>25717279
>high quality but mundane item like cheese
what about "The best piece of cheese"?

It'll make them put some serious consideration into it.

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>>25717344
"Only Hermaeus Mora knows. Seek him out on the Isle of Artaeum!"

Hey, you never know. Maybe Mora really IS on Artaeum.

>>25717336
Nah, we need to make it ridiculously sappy and send it over to Azura "as an apology for something I'll do".
Then we tell Molag Bol how she mentioned Vivec and his spear and how she's tired of licking it or something.
That should teach the bitch to threaten us in our realm.

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>>25717344

>What is cheese
>Asking that while coming from the realm of Sheogorath.
>After facing the madgod himself.

Stop. Stop everything. Pull that..thing right back and force-feed her cheese until she understands.

Rolled 85

>>25717344
Kill that bitch

>>25717346
THE OTHER PRINCES WOULD KILL US.

>>25717366
We said no killing.

>>25717365
Can't we just send her to Hermaeus Mora and have her sell her soul for the understanding of what Cheese is or something? It would be funny.

Rolled 52

>>25717367
We've died before!

Rolled 7

>HASKILL! MIRAAK REPULSA HAS ESCAPED! SEND THE DUNMER!

>>25717388
Yes, but they might do something rash this time, like make JYGALLAGG our jailor. We'd die over and over again of sheer boredom.

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Please roll the dice if you're making suggestion. It takes away the need for the me to decide on one action - and I am thankful for that, because /tg/ is fucking awesome.

Rolled 78

>>25717344

STOP. STOP EVERYTHING. HOLD YOUR HORKERS, COOL YOUR CLIFF RACERS, STOP YOUR SILT STRIDERS.

YOU DON'T.
KNOW.
WHAT CHEESE IS?!

WELL M'DEAR, LOOKS LIKE THAT'S YOUR FIRST QUEST! FIND OUT WHAT CHEESE IS, AND I DON'T MEAN JUST ASK YOUR NEW FRIENDS ABOUT IT! FIND SOME CHEESE, DISCOVER THE NATURE OF CHEESINESS, BECOME ONE WITH THE EDAM ITSElF

>>25716706
>made her lick the Ebony Spear.
>Not lick the Muatra.

Rolled 29

>>25717344
Sell them cheese and cheese-based products.

>>25717156

>Hu-Hue-Hues

Sheogorath confirmed for Brazilian. Dear mother of god, it all makes sense.

Rolled 3

>>25717344
"CHEESE IS A TYPE OF FOOD MADE FROM THE PRESSED CURDS OF MILK." and and have one of the smiles offer her a piece of cheese.

we need the 'first item on the list' though. at this point, i wish i know TES lore better.

Rolled 12

>>25717344
Have the mouths turn into cheese. Everything should be cheese.
CHEESE!

>>25717405
This. A quest has presented itself.

>>25717408

Muatra, as far as I recall, IS the ebony spear. Not just some ebony spear, but THE ebony spear.

Rolled 73

>>25717405
this. whatever was number one is turned into
"Find the best cheese in all of Tamriel"

Rolled 5

>>25717405
This.

Rolled 13

>>25717344
The oldest cheesery in Imperial City, then.

Rolled 17

>>25717400
>>25717344
First Order of business is to drop them off somewhere where cheese can be found in abundance. Next, fill the location with a bunch of scamps, who then throw flaming cheese at them. This will be their first challenge. Success will unlock the horse armour dlc for them.

>>25717446
No, find the best cheese in ALL OF OBLIVION, AETHERIUS AND NIRN.

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>>25717405

You bring the transit of the girls to an abrupt, screeching halts, your eyes widening at the fact that you have witnessed madness of a kind even YOU of all people find difficult to comprehend.

With a voice utterly bar of your usual cheerfulness, you stretch your arm out through the mouth of one of the smiling faces, takes the list, and replace the first articles with the words "What can change the nature of cheese?", all written in capitals letters and underlined three times.

As your pull your hand back to the isles, the transit of the dunmer continues. Before they even know whats happening, they end up in Whiterun, Skyrim - namely, in front of the Whiterun Cheese Dairy (tm).

Confused, frightened - and in the case of Raissu, very much near the point of vomiting from motion sickness, the girls materialize in a city they don't know, the eyes of about a dozen or so Nords fixed upon them.

>What now?

Rolled 63

>>25717514
Materialize in front of them.
"Now, my pupils, you see why you don't hamper with the artifacts at the mage university."
"Nothing to see here folks, just young lasses being silly and practicing magic well beyond their power,"

>>25717514
Ask what just happened. In Dunmerii.

>>25717533
Just leave them. It'll be funnier. Even the Mad God can be subtle when it takes his whim.

Rolled 52

>>25717514
Leave them to it and see what they do.
THIS IS THEIR VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY.
OF CHEESE-BASED KNOWLEDGE.

After all, what /can/ change the nature of cheese? They must find out.

>>25717514

>Voice
>Arm

Is Sheogorath a ventriloquist?

Rolled 22

>>25717514
Cast "Summon Willy Wonka"

Only he can give them true insight.

Rolled 59

>>25717514
Watch.

Rolled 100

>>25717514
Summon up some snacks as their brave and noble quest unfolds.

>>25717598

IT BEGINS

>>25717598
Jesus, so many 100s.

>>25717614
NO MATTER WHICH ONE OF US LIVES.

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>>25717598

>AAARGH, why do people always have to roll 100s when I have the next action written out!

Seeing how the situation is somewhat . . . tense, you decide to ease up the mood by summoning a rain of sweetcakes, showering everyone with lots and lots of sugary goodness.

The Nords, unused to such quantities of saccharin, promptly vanish into their respective homes, with only one older man in yellow robes loudly proclaiming YOUR sweetroll rain to be the wrath of Talos. Fetcher.

In the meantime, the Dunmer have managed to get back on their feet. Already used to your..particularity, they ignore the sweetrools as good as possible and instead study the shopping list and promptly enter the cheese dairy.

Inside, they find a Nord whose close to wetting himself, but otherwise seems to be responsible for running the cheese dairy.

>>25717695

Which girl had what kind of role again?

Rolled 66

>>25717695
we gon' see what they do as a TEAM.
Also, I'm thinking later on, we test their martial prowess.

By having them fight a cheese monster.

but that's for the 'gift shop' section of their tour of the dairy.

Rolled 54

>>25717695
These guys are power rangers right? We need them to scream and jump around performing acrobatics whilst loudly asking to be told anything this nord knows about cheese. We ask aggressively.

You, nord! Tell us about cheese!

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>>25717717

Zulaya – Erabenimsum – Warrior Girl. Amor Color: Red

Ashanabi – Urshilaku – Priest-Sage girl. Armor Color: Blue

Zaba – Zainab – Talkative girl. Also has nimble fingers. Armor Color: Yellow

Raissu – Ahemussa – Shy, introvert. Armor Color : Pink

Nadene – Skyrim/Winterhold – Slut Armor Color : Color of Mood Ring

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>>25717725
>>25717729

Overpowered by the madness infused in their armor, the girls pull of a staccato of , somersaults, flick-flacks Moth Priest Karate moves and obscene gestures.

The Nord, by now, is thoroughly dirty with his own bodily fluids and crying like a little girl.

As the others wonder what the hell just happened, Raissu of the Ahemussa regains her senses and quickly asks the Nord whether he could show them what could change the nature of a cheese. The poor man, fearing for his dear life and sanity, hastily agrees.

>Should we interrupt before the Tour begins?

Rolled 12

>>25717812
No, not this time. This is a journey of self-discovery for them! A special time, when they will learn the secrets of cheese.
>Besides, it's just getting good!

Rolled 51

>>25717812
Naaaah. let em have the tour.
THEN cheese golem.

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>>25717812
Let's make like our progenitor and WATCH OUR CHILDREN FUCK UP EVERYTHING.

Rolled 72

>>25717812

Prepare the cheese golem. But for the time being, let them enjoy the tour.

>>25717871
No. Cheese megazords. That combine.

Rolled 41

>>25717904
>>25717871

>Not Cheese Atronachs
>do you even TES

>>25717920
As long as we can pilot them and they can combine, call them what you will.
Hell, call them Bobs, I don't care.

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>>25717871
>>25717825

The guided tour through the Whiterun Cheese Dairy (tm) is remarkably uneventful, albeit Zulaya expresses her dislike for eating the rotting milk of ugly animals numerous times. Yet just as the five near the end of the tour - truly, as the can see the great tanks where the milk transforms into cheese, a wave of your hands results in a catastrophe - the viscous and vicious milk-cheese rises up and forms something that could be referred to as a cheese atronach by men with sufficient imagination.

The Nord, already overburdened by the events of the day, simply blacks out, leaving our heroines to fight a fight a 20 feet tall monster of not-yet-delicious fat!

> ENTER BATTLE MODE

>>25717953
TIME FOR BATTLE MUSIC!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chPJ7x9iMw0

Rolled 100

>>25717953
GO GO DUNMER RANGERS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wt6XlVob_E

Rolled 58

>>25717953
>>25717964
No, this!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Jmty_NiaXc

What the fuck is with all the nat 100s in this Quest?

>>25717980
I dunno man.

>>25717980

The Madgod smiles upon us.

>>25717972

I fucking love you.

Rolled 92

The cheese golem should attempt to subdue them by feeding them cheese.
just sayin'

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>>25717972

As you only gave the power Dunmer armor but no weapons, all they have to fight off the Cheese Atronach are a bunch of Chitin Daggers and a single Chitin spear in the hands of Zulaya. Needless to say, the battle doesn't go overly well for them, with Ashanabi almost being crushed/drowned in the molten fist of the beast, Raissu hardly escaping being stomped on and even the aggressive Zulaya being pushed aside like a plaything.

They girls, by all means, are losing. Good thing they have a god on their side.

Pulling out your thunder lute, you play a song which pierces the shroud of Oblivion and enters Nirn.

> GO GO POWER DUNMER (DO DEE DEE DO DO)

The resolve of the Dunmer girls, nay, the Power Dunmer, is increased tenfold. By combining their might and temporarily giving up their physical bodies, they summon a robotic creature that suspiciously resembles a female Akulakhan!


>ENTER BATTLE MODE PHASE 2.
>ACTUALLY, ENTER PAUSE MODE, OP REQUIRES NUTRIENTS!

Rolled 31

>>25718095
would you say, that this is the FINAL ATTACK RIDE?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap_CRESxNFE

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>>25718095

>OP has consumed nutrients - ENTER BATTLE PHASE 2

Powerluhakan and the Cheese Atronach are now locked in combat, viscous milk and cold stone squaring off against each other.

Which attack should Powerluhakan use?

>Bullrush
>Laser Eyes
>Chim Light (tm)
>Hook enemy in the goobar


Pic unrelated, muss search new pics

Rolled 29

>>25718452
Chim Light!

Rolled 33

>>25718452
Always bet on the CHIM

>>25718460

Is this really such a good idea?

>>25718460
You forgot the trademark

Rolled 53

Chim light that's further empowered by their synchronized poses and energetic attitude

Rolled 100

>>25718477
You want to sell those Powerluhakan figurines or not?

>>25718484

All who could care are either dead or gone.

>>25718497
What the fuck, this is my 3rd nat 100 in this thread.
I'm scared.

>>25718497

Brb, getting a loan and hiring a thousand chinese workers.

>>25718504
You need to roll in all quest threads mang.

>>25718497
My sides are in orbit.

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>>25718497
>>25718496
>>25718475
>>25718460

The Powerluhakan and the Cheese Atronach are now in a deadly embrace, yet the latter seems to gain the upper hand, its fluids already leaking through the cracks of the other creature.

In a moment of blind panic, the joined spirits of the girls call forth the power of Chim Light (tm). In an instant, two things happen: The Cheese atronach is hit by an impact so powerful that it is effectively launched into space, it's massive body flying through the sky later giving birth to the Nord legends of airborn Mammoths.

As for the Powerluahakan - it vanishes. Where once a 16 feet tall humanoid atronach stood, only thin air remains.

It is but moments later that the girls find themselves in a strange and disturbing world of non-euclidian geometry and the smell of elderberries. As they manage to get up, they wonder what they should do now.

>>25718613

Uhm... look around?

Rolled 48

>>25718613
Time for commercial break!

Nah, just kidding. Talk to them, say how you're impressed with CHIM (TM) Light's power!
But that it obviously forced the game to crash. Goddamn 3rd party mods.

>>25718686

I told you about Chim man. I fucking told you.

Rolled 38

>>25718705
You did, man. You did.
Next thing you know, our heroines enter this thread to complain because we fucked over reality or something.

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>>25718686

While you can see the girls, any attempt of you to directly communicate with them seems to fail - it is as if they were there are not there, kind off like the pay check of a half-time employee.

However, their armor acts like a magnifying glass for your will - as such, you still can indirectly control them (that is, make it interesting for them to do this or that) without having to give them direct commands. Whisper in their long, soft, elven ears, if you will.

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>>25718705
You're not pronouncing CHIM correctly.

Also, WHY DID YOU USE CHIM!? You just ERASED that golem from existence! Who the hell KNOWS where our Power Dunmer are now? Oh wait, I know!

>>25718775

Well, you just DID you bloody fetcher. Now where stuck in the plane of oblivion-if-I-know and you filthy humans don't even have the flicker of a plan to get us out.

Rolled 84

>>25718782

"Boy, that wast landscape sure seems interesting. We should explore it".

Rolled 59

>>25718812
Sorry, sorry. Okay, Lorkhan teleports you back to the moment you entered metaspace.

Also, what are you wearing?

KEEP IT DOWN UP HERE, I'M TRYING TO UN-SLEEP.

Well, I guess this it what you could call...


Metaphysics.

Oooh, what are you going to do, copycat? "Kill" us? Please, go ahead.

>>25718869
No, honey, this is what you call a commercial break.
Everything is going to be okay in about a minute.

Also, buy more GW shit.

>>25718869
>>25718890
GUYS, PLEASE, YOU'RE KEEPING ME ASLEEP WITH ALL THIS TALKING. I'M TRYING TO RE-DIE HERE.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I'M TRYING TO DREAM YOU RETARDS!

>>25718921

Oh shi-

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>>25718921
When else can I practice my tuba recital?

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Although your position as a Madgod would usually give you a high level of understanding when it comes to Divine Metaphysics, the events which transpired after your Power Dunmer girls used CHIM Light (tm) are utterly beyond you.

All you know is that, exactly forty-two seconds after the disappearance of the Powerluhakan, five dunmer in colorful glass armor materialize in a puff of logic on a small uninhabited island in the Sea of Ghosts, close to Skyrim's coast.

While the others are still trying to recover from their trip to realspace or whatever one might call it, Zulaya remarks:

"What can change the nature of a cheese? CHIM. CHIM can change the nature of a cheese, as it can do with everything else."

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>>25718990

On a semi-related note: Shall we continue? I assume that most people who joined the thread early on already have left and it would be quite tiresome for newcomers to follow the story.

Rolled 86

>>25718990
The Nameless One called, said that you should stop ripping him off.

Also, they completed their first quest - let's find them a safe place to stay and rest.

Rolled 46

>>25718990
Now learn to like cheese you heathen

>>25718990
HAH! Nice answer. Pity it's wrong. Send them off to go acquire all of the Ideal Masters' Fashion Sense. We must know how they can pull off Purple and Pink as well as we can.

>>25719022
KEEP GOING.

Rolled 49

>>25719022
I got caught up and enjoyed it, I say continue

>>25719022
continue

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>>25719024

With Zulaya now understanding the true meaning of cheese and not understanding the true meaning of CHIM, the power dunmer girls have completed their first quest! You applaud their skill, and even Haskill claps (because your forced him to do so), but now our heroines deserve a good night of sleep - maybe we can go and meet Vaermina?

You teleport the five to the nearest inn in Dawnstar. However, the local publican is not exactly happy with the idea of taking up Dunmer, claiming them to be "Talmor spehs!" and that even if they weren't, all the "filthay Dunmah" were taking away the Nords' "jerwbs".

Divine Revenge, maybe?

>>25719168
Release the dancing monkeys!

>>25719168
Let's teleport him to the Shivering Isles, but replace him with a stone statue so that everyone thinks we turned him to stone! HILARIOUS!

Rolled 99

>>25719178
FOrgot roll

Rolled 1

>>25719178
Dancing FLYING monkeys.
Threaten the guy that they'll poo bomb his place if he doesn't let them stay.

Rolled 76

>>25719187
welp. this is now a thing.
>>25719184
also this hopefully

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>>25719178
>>25719187
>>25719209

Just as the publican is about to throw our heroines out of the inn, the door opens and a literal cloud of flying chimps noisily enters the rooms, the latter now filled with screaming and farting to no end.

The publican, however, doesn't seem particularly impressed, simply insulting your masterfully made composition as "Talmoah witchcroft!" and grabbing for the two-handed axe hidden behind the counter for "difficult negotations".

How should we safe our heroines (and monkeys) ?

Rolled 43

>>25719283
Mangos

Rolled 49

>>25719283
Is cheeseball a spell that exists?
Cheeseball should be a spell that exists.

Cheeseball the fucker.

Rolled 66

>>25719300

Lemons!

Rolled 25

>>25719283
They need some weapons,something suitably horrifyingly whimsical

Rolled 81

>>25719310

Combustible Lemons that burn his house down!

Rolled 10

>>25719310
Mangos, Lemons, AND Lettuce.

Gotta get our veggies in there too.

>>25719340
Welp.....

Rolled 81

Provide the girls with weapons that may or may not allow them to summon giant animal robots

>>25719371
If voting breaks the tie, I vote on this one.
Yes, but what animals?

Rolled 7

>>25719283
Turn him into a dunmer as well.
Stupid fuck.

>>25719371
>>25719340
>whynotboth.jpg

>>25719371
We already lost Powerulahkahn to a spontaneous Zero-Sum. Another one isn't in the budget. I suggest we just fill the inn with the laziest Dremora in Oblivion.

>>25719184
BRILLIANT!

>>25719394
Combustable lemon weaponry!

Rolled 5

>>25719399
lazy Dremora that do nothing but talk about how bad things are for them and make snide, passive-agressive jabs at the quality of the inn.

Rolled 10

>>25719411
From Sheogorath being bored, to Power Dunmer, to Metaphysicis, to owning a Dremora Inn.
Yeah, we take out this asshole, and our girls own an inn where we'll appear as a badly animated head in a glass jar.

DO EVERYTHING AT ONCE!

Especially>>25719385
>>25719401
>>25719411

>>25719444
Dawnstar's getting a new Daedra Shrine....

Oh god. I just realized. The Dragonfires are gone. That means SHEOGORATH IS FREE TO ENTER NIRN WHENEVER HE WANTS.

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>>25719371

>>25719340

It is a quiet, peaceful day in Dawnstar. The sea is calm, the air is cold and the smell of salt brings a smile on the faces of many 'an old sailor.

This calmness ends abruptly AS A FOUR-STORY TALL ROBOT MONKEY APPROACHES THE VILLAGE.

IT OPENS ITS MIGHTY MAW AND UNLEASHES A SHOWER OF COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS ON THE INN, COVERING IT WITH SMALL IMPLOSIONS THAT SMELL NOT OF CHARRED FLESH AND SMOKE BUT OF SWEET LEMON JUICE.

Meanwhile, inside of the inn, our heroins again panic as the very building they are in is shaken by an unseen outward force. The publican, apparently used to such disturbances, yells something about "FECKING DRAGAHNS" and leaves the building without his axe, apparently planning to strangle any dragons nearby with his bare hands. Within a few seconds, the bombardment stops, and the Monkey Death Robot instead wades into the Harbor and makes sweet, sweaty monkey love to one of the longboats anchored there.

Nonetheless, the inn is heavily damaged, and while it smells much nicer than before, is also burning. What do?

Rolled 1

>>25719444
Screw that, we're Sheogorath.

We must be a badly animated head in a large glass cheese wheel.

Rolled 95

>>25719467
We need a fix-it-up montage!

Rolled 31

>>25719467
...use robomonkey splooge to put out the fire?

Rolled 34

>>25719467
Heroins? Injectible Dunmer?

Fuck it, turn the flames to (lemon-scented) water and manifest a giant fuckoff Power Dunmer ...err....presumably-segoing-vessel made of lemons and cheese.

Rolled 45

>>25719476
That works too.

>>25719461
Dawnstar being overtaken by Sheogorath's Dremora.
When the people come back, it's full of bored, passive aggressive and lazy sons of bitches who only complain.

>>25719507
Sheogorath doesn't use Dremora. He has Saints and Seducers. The Seducers are polite and friendly, and the Saints are gigantic prick.

Rolled 27

>>25719537
So we fill the town with those.
Seducers are going to be good for tourism and fanservice.

>>25719552
You do know Seducers have black skin, piercing glowing blue eyes, and razor sharp fangs right? Also, their men are all kept in the [s]kitchen[/s] scouting party.

>>25719484
Gonna need a montage.

MONTAGE!

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>>25719484

(Unrelated: This is the music I've been hearing over the entire duration of the thread. The -entire- duration. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyAP6PpAzK8)

Unwilling to sacrifice your heroines to a burning inn, you quickly summon a score of golden saints to commence emergency repairs on the inn. While the Saints don't appear to be particularly happy with their job, they still are remarkably efficient, and within a mere hour, the entire inn is not only fully repaired, but also has been given a second floor, a sauna and shrine to yourself.

Just as the Saints leave, however, the publican is back.

>"Wehn't evan dat fecking dragahns, strangl'd a scoah of 'em a non wants ta ha dun it and - you dunmah talmah still hea?!"

>>25719566
I don't have a problem with that.
Besides the Montage won.

>>25719589
Just turn him into a Dunmer, replace him with a statue of himself, and teleport him to the Redguard Afterlife.

Rolled 24

>>25719623

Can't we teleport him to the Argonian afterlife instead?

What does the Redguard afterlife even look like?

Rolled 54

>>25719589
>>25719623

And then we put one of our guys I'n charge of the inn. This shall now be power dunmer HQ.

Rolled 40

>>25719667
Agreed.

>>25719656
Argonians don't HAVE an Afterlife, they Reincarnate via the Hist...

Let's ask the Hist to reincarnate him with all his memories. And his accent.

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>>25719623
>>25719656
>>25719667


Annoyed by the constant bickering of the publican, you decide to replace him with a true-to-the-original statue, which not only solves your problems but also makes him much more likeable.

Meanwhile, a young argonian shadowscale hatches from his egg. Looking around, he loudly wonders "Whadda feck is going ahn?!" and will latter be known under the name of Speaks-bad-words, the most foul-mouthed Argonian assassin known since the second era.

But anyhow, if you are to take the Dawnstar Inn as the Power Dunmer Girl HQ, one of the girls will have to leave the group and run the HQ. Which one shall it be?

Zulaya [ ]
Ashanabi [ ]
Zaba [ ]
Raissu [ ]
Nadene [ ]

>>25719805

Take Nadene. She's born in Skyrim and is probably willing to screw just about everyone, giving her sympathy of the villagers.

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>>25719805
Nadene.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Rolled 74

>>25719805
...why don't we drop in another Dunmer girl?
Hell, ask Azura if she has a priestess and if she'd like to share a shrine.

>>25719805
I nominate Zulaya

>>25719842
Didn't Azura threaten to convince Molag Bal that we were actually Vivec if we fucked with her again?

Oh wait, Mad God. SURE, THIS IS A GREAT PLAN!

Rolled 90

>>25719860
Call it a sign of truce. She gets a new shrine, we get a place where ours *and hers* proteges can rest and recover.

>>25717247
Some major evil looking to commit to world domination who takes himself far too seriously. Fucking with those sorts of people is always hilarious.

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Rolled 80

>>25719805
The secret sixth option! We take the only not serous Golden saint among our servents, The sarcastic one that can never do anything right, and have her run the HQ, to all others she will appear as nord woman, only the power dunmer can see her true form.

>>25719884
So, Mehrunes Dagon or the Thalmor?

>>25719895
Just have her use her true form. It'll be funnier.

Rolled 18

>>25719884
Thalmor?

>>25719919
Thalmor.

Rolled 27

>>25719902
Both.

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>>25719872

While your fangirls rest in the restroom, you call out for Azura in her domain Moonshadow. Before you even have a chance to talk to her, missiles of various kinds (including shuriken, spare Azura's Stars and even parts of furniture) come flying through the connection. For a moment, the bombardment stops and a thunderous voice fills your chamber

> " BE GONE, MADMAN, OR I'LL TELL THE NEREVARINE TO CAST DISINTEGRATE WEAPON ON YOUR SPEAR! YOU KNOW HE HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR ME!"

This might get complicated.

>>25719941
"Hey now, what did the Wabbajack ever do to you?

>>25719941
since that's not going to work
>>25719895

>>25719941

> Spare Azura's stars

I fucking knew it. That bitch is mass producing them and does not even bother to give us more than one. This is why we can't have nice things (and the souls of both Almalexia and Vivec)

Rolled 46

>>25719941
"Here, now I'm trying to do you a favor, and you threaten me. The least you could do is throw cheese."

Rolled 17

>>25719941
"If you don't listen to what I have to say, I'll tell everyone you're running a sweat shop here making those star thingies!"
"Oh, how will your followers be disappointed if their lovely princess turns out to be a big liar!"

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>>25720006

Your attempts at calming the hysterical goddess show very poor results.

> "CALM ME? BAD ENOUGH THAT THIS FILTHY HALF-CHIMNER VEHK PIERCED ME WITH HIS SPARE, NOW THE MADLORD MAKES A POPULAR SPORT OF IT? AND YOU WISH TO CALM ME! GO AND FUCK HERMAEUS MORA, YOU NORD!"

Rolled 74

>>25720079

We should ask Sanguine instead. At least he knows how to throw a party.

Or maybe we could get Molag Bal to give us an Orc.

>>25720079
"HEY. You take that back, Hermaeus Mora isn't that bad."