A pocket watch, of course.

Let's use the chain of the pocket watch to make a snare around our leg to hinder the flow of the poison.

>>25694175
A pocket watch.

>>25694189
Right, naturally. The pocket watch, here to help you keep time. You like to keep a little log, of dates and times spent on the job. Very important to keep good records. How you noticed that this fellow hadn't paid taxes in the past twenty years, despite being noted by the Census in 1910 and 1920. No forms, no returns. People had gone before, and not noticed. Mr. Hamilton knew that you did good work, thorough work. He called you in to his office by name, and asked you to take care of this fellow.

>>25694214
Oh! Good thought! Yes, you remembered something like that- have to stop the venom, or is it poison? Oh well, the chain is long enough, strong enough, you wrap it around your numbing leg, and find to your distress it can still feel pain, but you bite your lip and work through it.

If some one else had mentioned this Moses like behavior in the truant, you would have brought a gun. Shame that. Still, the pocket watch is heavy, and reassuring, and you did something.

The man's front door creaks open, all splinters and rotwood, and he steps out, a table leg in his hand. Tall man, wild haired man, he looks down on you with a look you can't interpret.

"I told you, two damn times before, to go away. But you stick like a damn boomerang," He squats down next to you, "Before I kill you, I gotta know, for my sake- what's your name?"

No snake. No snake is good. You look to the yard. You can roll off the porch, grab the rake- you're no private eye though.

>[ ] My name is {INSERT NAME}
>[ ] Go for the rake. (Roll 1d100)
>[ ] Beg. Whine. Squeal. (Roll 1d100)

>>25694255
>>25694255

Mickey Black

The name is TIMOTHY THE TAX MAN

Rolled 41

Go for the rake

>>25694255
My name is William Break.

Rolled 66

>>25694298
Oh come now

>>25694175
I will be monitoring this thread for its amusing writing.

>>25694255
Beg whine squeal

Rolled 31

>>25694319
you know what? I better put that in the email field

>I should mention, for the rolls I've a roll under d100 system in mind. And if you can think of a custom action, please suggest it. I'm always open for custom actions.

>Also, we're going for the rake I guess.

Really now, how could he forget your name? You're sure that you told it to him. Though, in the confusion and blood loss, your name itself is a little slippery. You'll have to figure that out later, as you roll off the porch, and fall on to the dirt and weeds that only the truly generous could call a yard.

"Oh come on now," you hear him drawl behind you, amused, as you crawl with vigor and wrap your fingers around the rake.

You got the rake, and roll back up, pointing it as the bemused fellow, dressed in undershirt, trousers, and suspenders, no shoes on his feet either. He hooks his thumbs in and grins, "You really going to try this? You dumb son of a bitch. You're already dead!" Hah! He didn't realize you had a pocket watch, and some memories of the Boy Scouts! "All you're gonna do is damage my property. Why 'n a Hell you so stubborn?"

>[ ] Crawl back, keep him in eye sight, go for your car. (Dice 1d100)
>[ ] "You are truant on paying your taxes, Mr. Albigram (Oh right, his name is Albigram), and it will only get worse for you if you don't pay now!" (Dice 1d100)
>[ ] "What did you do to my briefcase?"
>[ ] Custom

Rolled 66

>>25694345
>[X] Crawl back, keep him in eye sight, go for your car. (Dice 1d100)


We need to report him to the authorities!

Rolled 68

>>25694345
"Why is it okay for you to do these things? Why is iT okay to turn innocent briefcases into snakes? You might be able to ignore the world, mister albigram, but the world won't ignore you for long. Especially if you kill me. What if the world showed up on your doorstep tomorrow, huh? What would you do then?"

Rolled 93

>>25694345
"I may be just a man, but I stand for much more than that. I stand for the Tax Code of the United States of America, and you will just kill a man, more will come and collect your taxes, I assure you.

Pay your taxes and all of this will be over."

Rolled 66 + 10

>>25694364
>>25694380
>Eh. Merging.
"Why is it okay for you to do these things?" You hold the rake up with one shaky hand, as your inadequately tested arm and leg try to pull you back, out of table leg reach. Mr. Albigram ambles after you, "Why is it okay to turn innocent briefcases into snakes?" That was a gift, a solid comrade through your entire career! "You might be able to ignore the world, Mister Albigram, but the world won't ignore you forever. Especially if you kill me. What if the world showed up on your doorstep tomorrow, huh? What would you do then?"

Mr. Albigram thinks things over about this as he walks after you- you spare a moment to glimpse at your Model A, it seems miles away almost- before he shrugs, "Well, I'll be honest. I hate your kind," He shakes his head, "Little men that try to rule and snare with ink and paper. I'm better n' you, better n' you and a hunnerd others like you. Y'know," Albigram shakes his head, looks away, a smile creeping across his face like he's remembering a funny joke, "You were supposed to get a drinking problem. I thought that'd be funny to imagine. Shame you had to come back. I'll have to move after this I suppose."

He takes a swing at you.

>Roll 1d100, -10 if you're trying solely to block, +10 if you're trying to swing back. Remember, this is a roll under game. Penalties are good.

>>25694345

I'm here to collect the debt you owe to the society of American people, mr Albigram. Are you not honorable enough to pay your debts? Think of the valiant soldiers that stand vigilant over your homestead, day and night, keeping it safe from Communist invasion! Do you think the Communists would be content with some paltry taxes? They would take everything from you, your life included!

Rolled 92

>>25694401
>Sorry, didn't see you there when I started writing the post.

>>25694441
>Oh right. /tg/ dice don't handle those well. Eh, I'll have to think it out.

He takes a lazy swing at you. He's got the height advantage, and the not bleeding from a snake bite advantage, but he doesn't think much of you. Maybe you can take advantage of that.

In the distance, you swear you can hear a motor.

Rolled 17

>>25694441

Fortune favours the bold. Show this insolent man what Civil Servants of the Land of the Free are made of!

[x] counterstrike

Rolled 79 + 10

>>25694441
>swing back

For glory

>>25694457
By Crom.

File: 1372417202268.jpg-(45 KB, 548x576, OldRakes.jpg)

45 KB JPG

Rolled 78 + 20

>>25694457
>Fortune DOES favor the bold.

You swing up by instinct, and catch the table leg in the rake's tines, and twist- sending the table leg out of Mr. Albigram's hands and causing him to stumble over you. Oh! An opportunity! You had never fenced yourself, but your brother- wait, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

You raise your other hand from the grass, and get a good, hard grip on the rake's haft, and swing up, up in to Mr. Albigram's beady little eyes.

"E pluribus unum!" You shout for lack of a better battle cry. You catch him full in the face on the back swing, rusty metal splitting his forehead and sending him stumbling back, covering his face. Oh.

"CockSUCKER!" You hear shouted through his fingers. Oh my. You had not exactly meant to do that.

"You're DEAD," He shouts, perhaps redundantly, seeing as he'd already declared his intent to murder you. Is that a good alibi? Alibi? That's the wrong word. You hoped that you could warrant this as self defense. The snake bite would help, though be a bit unbelievable. Focus, focus.

You glance away from the blood covered rust to Albigram, one hand on his face, the other before him, fingers dancing, pointing at you. What is he-

Think of something precious to you.
>[ ] Mom.
>[ ] Dog.
>[ ] Home.
>[ ] (Custom)

>>25694505
>[ ] Justice, TAXES

Rolled 75

>>25694505
The pocket watch

File: 1372417297503.png-(631 KB, 688x542, 1341143143873.png)

631 KB PNG

>>25694457

Fortune favors

>>25694505
>>[ ] Dragon dildos

>>25694505
Hell, going with >>25694516
[X] Justice.

Rolled 26

>>25694505

The taxes must be collected!

>>25694505
I guess he wants to destroy something precious to us?

Rolled 95

>>25694555

No, he probably hit us with an enchantment that daze us.

Rolled 11

>>25694516
>>25694530

This sounds good. We are champions of the public sector. We must not falter!

Rolled 62

>>25694530
yiup, Justice

File: 1372417922757.jpg-(82 KB, 800x738, irsemblem.jpg)

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>>25694516
>>25694530
>Justice. Interesting.

Is your mother important to you? Of course. Is your dog? Naturally. Your home? No question.

But are they precious?

In that moment, looking at those blood spattered fingers, fingers dripping with blood- blood going the wrong way, dripping up and hovering, sticking, sticking like the wall of the school yard, blood on the ball, running through your fingers, it was asking, demanding of you what was most valuable to you, to take away.

No. The most precious thing to you was, and always will be, justice. That beautiful blind lady. The scales must balance. Will stay balanced.

And no two bit hick with a couple magic tricks was going to touch that precious balance.

You blink. There's a man yelling in your ear. Quite rude. Across from you is the body of Mr. Albigram, spread quite awfully across the path. He was very dead. There was another man in a suit standing over him, hat off, looking rather stern. Looked like an Indian fellow. The man next to you, the shouting man looks rather heavy set. A porker sort. He looked angry. Wanted answers.

Did you kill him?
>[ ] Yes.
>[ ] No.

>>25694505
>JUSTICE

>>25694578
no

we just hit him with a rake

he was very much alive at the time

Rolled 83

>>25694578

Of course not. There were schools, firefighters, soldiers and war veterans depending on this man's income.

Then again, if he challenged our authority and physically insulted himself...

>>25694578
maybe

>>25694578
>Yes, in self-defense.
We are the Taxman, and we cometh for all.

>>25694578
[X] I don't know.
The most honest answer. Anything else would be a lie.

>>25694598

Rolled 47

>>25694578
tell what happed, as truthfully as we know it

Rolled 100

>>25694578
no. We arent very strong, we only have a rake and goddammit, if we knew how to kill somebody without a firearm.

Can you clarify how this roll system works? Is it just lower = better?

What defines whether something is a success?

>...These are a lot more responses than I expected. Going to cut it off here. Continuing this bit next post. 3 no, it is done.

No. You only hit him with a rake. It was self defense. And protection of property. There was a briefcase involved. It was a good one. Got it at Osterbeck's on 5th when you first got this job.

"No," You finally managed to mumble out. You glance at the rake. No, no more blood on it.

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, it finally speaks!" The man shouts. He has a kind of southern accent, "Tom! Hey, Tom! The kid's talking now!"

The Indian glances up from the body, little dark eyes in sun cured skin piercing you. He looks back to the remnants of Mr. Albigram (Do you have an auction now? For the deceased's possessions? You need to look this up. Haven't had a truant die on you before), and walks to you, placing his hat on his long black hair. Dressed professionally, outside of the hair, the soft looking boots, and the rings? Little metal rings? Sticking out of his breast pocket.

He approaches you.

Rolled 40

>>25694578

We're a poisoned manlet armed with a rake, what do you think? His spells must have backfired.

>>25694617
>Oh sure. Basically, the rough sketch is that you have to roll under your skill+attribute, plus or minus environmental penalties. As it is, I'm very vague on everything because I didn't expect this to blow up. This idea has been rattling in my head for ages, just started writing on a whim.

>As it is, yes, lower=better. Roughly, usually, anything under a 40 is a success. Lower the better. Higher is worse. Mr. Albigram rolled very high, twice.

>Also, I think I'm going to make it so that how many rolls I consider depends on some kind of character attribute. As it is though, I am kind of basing it off of best of 3.

>tl;dr I don't know what I'm doing.

>>25694622

I collect any jewelry from the body and search his teeth for gold fillings.

"stupid goyim," I mutter to myself, "not like he'll be needing it.

>>25694635
>His spells must have backfired.
He tried to take away Justice; Justice took exception to his attempt.

Enquire as to whether there's a doctor nearby, as you have a nasty snakebite on your leg

Ask the handsome man if he would be willing to suck the poison out of my leg for a shiny shekel

>>25694635
>>25694649
And now I feel like we're going to be told that the spells this man used is actually a Stand.

At a glance, I like your writing style and prose, OP.

Consider me intrigued.

Rolled 82

>>25694622
We are conflicted in our stance towards the Indian. On the one hand he is a colored fella and thusly not to be trusted, on the other hand he is the only person around that resembles a gentleman in clothes and demenior even in the slightest. Ask him for his name and ocupation.

>>25694622

We will need to address proper authorities. We're not from branch of civil service best suited for dealing with prematurely deceased citizens.

Express some grief for the recaltcitrant mr. Albirgram. He was after all one of the citizens we were sworn to serve, and his income was meant to support the Most Free Country of the World.

>>25694622
"I-

I need a doctor!

There was a snake, and then a lot of pain, and a rake, and- Wait, he's dead? How did that happen? I-I don't even remember anything after the rake! What the hell is going on!?"

We're just a taxman and this is way beyond our pay grade. I think panic is entirely in character.

>>25694622
"Hello, my name is Tom," The man speaks snippily to you, "And you must be the latest tax man that Revenue sent out here to try to collect from this putz," He jerks his head to Albigram's body.

"To put it bluntly, you're lucky. And, thankfully, diligent," The man pulls a cigarette from inside his coat, and nods to Heavyset, who, grousing a little, lights a match and passes it to Tom. Tom takes a grateful drag from the cigarette, "If you had not filed your reports, we would not have noticed-"

Really, you've been polite, but you do have a snake bite on your leg! Which is starting to hurt like the dickens. Is that better than numb? You're not entirely sure.

>[ ] Wait patiently. He has a certain gravitas.
>[ ] Interrupt. You really do not want to die of a snake bite while someone meanders on.
>[ ] Ask questions.
>[ ] Crawl to car.
>[ ] Other.

>>25694649

Maybe the man's psionic attack expected the tax man to be void of virtues and what he found there blew his mind

>>25694673
>>25694672
>>25694669
>>25694658
>>25694652
>Sorry, sorry, I tend to overwrite.

>>25694639
Best of three is usually a solid way to go, though I would personally base success of how many of the first three or five pass the DC to determine level of success.

>>25694669
Hey, if that colored fellow pays his takes on time and files his paperwork we don't have no problem with him. What matters is not skin, race, or creed, nothing but whether they do what is required of them by the United States Tax Code.

>>25694681
[X] Interrupt. You really do not want to die of a snake bite while someone meanders on.

"Look, I really hate to interrupt, and I'm sure what you have to say is really important.

But I have a snake bite in my leg and I'd rather not die from the venom, could either of you help me out with that?"

Rolled 35

>>25694681
tell them that you have been bit by your breifcase that mr A turned into a snake, ask how that even is possible?
we would be understandably confused

>>25694681

Endure. When a suitable moment comes forth in the Tom's monologue, politely interject that you should seek the government sanctioned medical attention for your wounds.

>>25694681
Go with >>25694673, It still fits perfectly.

Maybe ask how the hell they are so calm at a time like this.

Rolled 46

>>25694681
[Other.]
"Excuse me, sir, but I'll be passing out now."

You know, because of the snake bite.

Rolled 73

>>25694681
"Could... Could you maybe spare a fag? I really am in quite a bit of stress right now."

>>25694681

>>25694673 seems to be the most in character response. I mean, we don't really know the character, but it'd take some pretty severe mental issues to remain calm and eloquent given the circumstances.

>>25694711
>>25694714
>>25694673
Combination of these.

Stammer uselessly, mutter something about cigarettes and stress, and then pass out.

>>25694695
It's the early 1900s, a little racism is to be expected.

Rolled 21

>>25694695
well, but DO those filthy natives ever pay their taxes?

I think not.

>>25694681
>[x ] Interrupt. You really do not want to die of a snake bite while someone meanders on.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I am in dire need of medical attention."

>>25694681
>[x] Very politely interrupt.

>>25694693
Just taking the best out of three wrecks havoc on the probabilities and quickly leads to many rather extreme successes while interspaced with few moderate successes/failures and just as many extreme failures as moderate failures.

I suggest counting the successes:
0 - Failure
1 - Barely successful
2 - Moderate Success
3 - Good Success

If you are feeling fancy you can add/remove some degrees of success for every crit rolled instead of making them auto-success or -failure.

>>25694717
We maintained our calm when our briefcase was turned into a snake, and when we were about to have our head caved in.
Preternatural calm is something we do.

>>25694681
>>[ ] Interrupt. You really do not want to die of a snake bite while someone meanders on.
I need help!

>>25694745

Unless we have solid paperwork in front of us or memorized, we should assume that this one does.

>>25694717
We are a Taxman, sir. We are ALWAYS calm, professional, and eloquent.

>>25694754
I think that was the weirdness filter.

I mean, how are you supposed to react to your briefcase turning into a snake? Human brain sort of shorts out when you're confronted by stuff that shouldn't be possible and basically ignores it.

And then the panic set in and we started trying to hit somebody with a rake.

>>25694754
I wholeheartedly agree with this. We have had little characterization so far, why do people want to throw away what small amount we have.

>>25694769
that wasn't panic

it was self defense. during the 'fight' we were already thinking about how to justify this to the authorities.

>>25694769
>And then the panic set in and we started trying to hit somebody with a rake.
That was hardly panic. How else are we to defend ourselves against a man with a table leg who has announced his intention to kill us?

>>25694767
I think it's more that we're just boring and inoffensive.

>Argh. So many responses. General theme seems to be, 'get me a doctor damn it!' Adapting the writing, hope you don't mind.

"I do really apologize for interrupting," You hold a hand up meekly, after placing the rake to the side of you, "But I was bitten by a snake- perhaps you noticed the blood. I really do need medical attention, as despite my best efforts," A wave to your pocket watch, "I do fear the venom within the reptile might be making its way to my brain as we speak? Perhaps we could meet when my life is not in danger?"

Chubby above you looks at you in shock. Tom, for his part takes another drag on his cigarette, but narrows his eyes in annoyance.

"Yes, yes, you're quite right," He waves at the large man, "Shut your trap Ralph, and listen. The man needs a doctor. Take his car, and him, to Harper Hospital," You note that the 'and him' sounded like a pointed reminder, "Ask for Doctor Andrews, he'll take care of him."
At this, the heavyset man (Ralph, apparently) leans in and hisses, "But you said-!"
"No buts, Ralph," Tom nods to you, "The taxman wants to see a Doctor."

Ralph shuts his mouth, glares at you, and then leans down and hauls you up to his shoulder, and takes you over to your car. You obligingly hand your keys to him (You're not sure if a snake bite counts as intoxication, but best not to risk driving at any rate), and he starts your car, and pulls you to the road.

By the time you leave dirt and hit asphalt, the silence is deafening. Ralph finally speaks, "What the heck is your name anyhow?"

>[ ] Name, along with whatever questions you might have.

>>25694796
nope, thats not fun, cant be true

>>25694802
"Who are you? Who is your indian friend? How does a suitcase turn into a snake? I am terribly confused!"

Rolled 60

>>25694802
Mr Candide Smith. Taxman.

>>25694802
>You're doing fine. Just take consensus, and pick out the usable replies to mould into particulars.

My name is Timmothy Brunt.

That is a mighty fine suit.

>>25694802
Timothy Lawrence Johnson, a pleasure to meet you.

>>25694802

Do we even need a name when we have our Purpose?

If so, I suppose we could go with something like Zachary Peddlebottom

>>25694802
I gotta go with William Breaks, just for the irony value.

Thomas L. Booker, at your service.

Isn't our name S Skukerman?

>>25694802
Nathan Birch, of the IRS.
Tom said you were looking at my paperwork; which branch do you work for?

File: 1372420710584.jpg-(9 KB, 150x218, Cinna.jpg)

9 KB JPG

Rolled 3

>>25694827
>>25694828
>>25694830
>>25694836
>>25694837
>>25694843
>>25694849
>All these names. Jiminy cricket, how many people are following this?

>I'm just going to roll for it. Hope to god I don't get 'booker.'
>Then, questions from up here.
>>25694823

>>25694866

>Oh, here's another name. Makes it nice and even this way.

>>25694802
Miles Barnes?

>>25694830
This is nice.

I can't wait to channel pure Justice into other tax-evading goons.

>>25694870
Timothy L. Johnson it is.

(I think L. sounds better than Lawrence)

>>25694870
Booker is fine.

>>25694870
>Hope to god I don't get 'booker.'
o-okay. sorry.

;_;

>>25694870
Yay, Lady Luck favours me.

>>25694870

Ask the fellow to identify himself. Unless he's an authority, remark that we need to alert authorities of the incident.

>>25694911
I want you to word it exactly like this

Rolled 64

>>25694870
ask if doctor andrews is a good doctor. the way raphl responded suggeste there is something to be learned here

>>25694870
People like a QM with a good prose and an interesting beginning.

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>>25694830
>Timothy L. Johnson. I hope nobody hates that name.

"The name's Johnson. Timothy Johnson," You think about telling him your middle name Lawrence. You like Lawrence better than Timothy. Sounds a bit more dashing, like that one British fellow in the desert., but, well, too late now. Next time maybe, "And you are?"

"Ralph," Ralph replies, eyes on the road, tipping his hat against the setting sun, "Ralph Buhl."
"And, er, your Indian friend?"
"Heh," Ralph smiles, brown teeth speaking of a deep and abiding chewing habit, "Don't let him hear you say Indian, that's the first thing. He's not my friend either, he's my boss. Name's Tom. Mr. Tom, if you're feeling more formal."
Silence, as you enter Detroit city limits. This, this will be difficult to bring up, but, well, it has to be mentioned.
"Do you know how a suitcase turns in to a snake?"
Ralph glances over your way, the back to the road. No answer. Maybe he expects you to say something else? Oh dear, what if this is a rather ordinary thing that most people know?
"I am terribly confused!" You say with a weak grin. There. Maybe he won't consider it so strange to explain it?
Ralph sighs, takes a headlong turn in the city, "Brother, I have no idea. We're here."
That was fast. Harper's Hospital.
>[ ] Press him. He'll sneak away as soon as we're in Doctor Andrews's hands.
>[ ] Let's get treated.
>[ ] Other.

>>25694887
>>25694893
>Booker is an awesome name, just worried about Bioshock Infinite comparisons. Since, y'know, relative tech levels and all that.

>>25694932
I am weirded out at how interested I am in this

Rolled 85

>>25694936
press him about this doctor andrews, we should find out if seeing him is even a good idea. - i dont trust any QM

>>25694936
"I really must insist."

Reach out and grab him, trying to stay upright.

>>25694936
"I really dont know what to make of this, Ralph, pal, what position is this Tom employing you in?"

Rolled 98

>>25694936
>[X] Press him. He'll sneak away as soon as we're in Doctor Andrew's hands.

Let's see if we can piss off the mysterious stranger.

>>25694936

Get Treated.

If Ralph indeed makes himself scarce, we'll alert authorities then. But I don't think so, somehow. We still don't know who he and Mr. Tom work for.

Be honest with the doctor too. At worst, he'll think we're being delirious from a snakebite.

>>25694925
>>25694911
>Bonus lightning round, since I'm slow. New policy, I'm just gonna say when I'm writing a post now. I don't like padding things out, but at least this way I'll feel less like a dick for orphaning suggestions.

"Is Doctor Andrews a good doctor?"
"Oh, he's sure good all right, just a bit peculiar is all," Ralph tries to give a friendly grin, "Real skittish guy though. You can scare the pants off of him if you so much as sneeze. Something about Tom, I wager."

"Are you police? I'll need to file a police report."
Ralph rolls his eyes, "Oh right, yeah, you got a good point there. I was just about to stop off at the cop shop for that actually. Look," He drives with one hand (Which really makes you worry, as he nearly swerves in to a woman crossing the street), as he fishes in his pants pocket, before throwing a badge in your lap, "Bureau of Indian Affairs," it reads on the worn leather, with a metal badge underneath. Doesn't match the Bureau of Indian Affairs you remember.

"Look, I'm on your side here, honest. Feel free to file with the police after you get treated. They'll confirm things. And we'll help you out over at the Department of the Treasury too. I expect I'll be seeing a lot more of you later."

>I really have to type faster.

>>25694978
dont you step back on the prose dude! We depend on your writing style!

File: 1372421789719.jpg-(63 KB, 394x630, Tom.jpg)

63 KB JPG

Writing next post, delaying Ralph for answers.

>>25694978

Oh, a fellow official civil servant person! That's good to hear. I feared we might have fell into hands of something clandestine.

Say that we shall write our account of the event for benefit of the investigators when we're no longer in passing out.


Also this >>25694980

Don't rush it. I'm sure questors prefer quality over reaction time

>>25694978
In that case, if you our Mr. Tom find a way to turn the snake back into my suitcase I would greatly appreciate that. It was my favourite.

>>25694978
>Doesn't match the Bureau of Indian Affairs you remember.
We need to remember checking this out later. We don't want to remember wrong badges after all.

>>25694978
"But I really don't know what happened back there. How did that guy die? I mean, I'm pretty sure I didn't hit him hard enough to kill him, but he was saying some stuff about being better than me and trying to kill me, and I didn't really have a choice.

Sorry, I'm just confused. What, exactly, is going on?"

>>25694978
This man is suspicious to say the least. He's probably not who he says he is.

You grab Ralph by the lapel of his suit, as he starts stepping out of the car. You astonish yourself to a certain extent.

Ralph on the other hand, seems angry. Deeply, vitally angry as he turns to you. Despite the crowds of people coming in and out of the hospital, the people streaming past your car parked in front of the hospital, all of a sudden you have a terrible premonition that Ralph at that moment would not hesitate to do serious injury to you. But, that couldn't be possible.

"Squirt. I feel for you, truly, I do," He leans in his considerable mass, "I was pretty scared too. Pretty confused. I wanted answers. Hell, I still do, I'm going to tell you three things, and they're God's honest truth here. First, I have no fucking clue how your luggage got turned into a snake. Second, I don't think either of us are going to learn how such a thing can happen in this life. And third," You smell tobacco as he hisses the last words, "You touch me again, I end you. Now. Let go."

He can't be serious. It's just a suit lapel. He wouldn't do that in front of a hospital for God's sakes.

>[ ] Let go.
>[ ] Hold on.

Rolled 39

>>25695053
touch him in the face. Slowly move your finger to his face. And touch him.

>>25695067
In the mouth.

>>25695053
Let go

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>>25695053
>[X] Let go.

Rolled 83

>>25695053
Raise an eyebrow. "Very well then."

>>25695053

[x] let go.

We need medical attention. Surely the reason will be less clouded after we get some.

Rolled 45

>>25695053
[X] Hold on
[X] Seduce
Rollin' for seduce...

>>25695086

>>>/b/
>>>/v/

>>25695053
Let go. The man is a citizen, and his rights should be respected. After all, he pays taxes.

We need treatment, not passive-aggressive stupidity.

Okay, writing the next part for letting go.

>>25695092
No need to be rude.

Rolled 91

>>25695053
We need to get home and get our M1911 for self defense

>>25695053
Let go and earnestly apologies. The poor man seems to have issues and it would be rude to touch him further.

>>25695105
QM, are we going to ignore the insane suggestions that happen to have high rolls?

>>25695123
1.) Its not insane for an american citizen to have a handgun

2.) high rolls are bad

3.) of course we will, he isnt an idiot

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>>25695123
How about you let him decide.
Also no, high rolls are worse, good grief this has been covered already.

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>>25695094
>>25695085
>>25695077
>>25695074
You let go of Ralph. He jerks the suit away, and smooths it, then starts wiping his hands on his trousers with a certain fervor. He's sweating. He glares at you angrily, before stepping out of the car, and going over to your side to open the door, though keeping well away from you, hands clenched in to fists. He waves at a passing orderly who, seeing your bedraggled form, immediately lends you a shoulder. The three of you enter Harper's.

A slow day in Detroit. Not many are waiting to see someone when you enter. The front desk receptionist glances up, "Can I help yo-"

"Tell Doctor Andrews Tom has come a knocking," Ralph says to the receptionist, "And he's brought a friend."

The receptionist frowns, and then keys on the microphone, paging Doctor Andrews.

Soon, a young doctor comes out, dressed in white smock, eyes wide and nervous. He visibly deflates in relief when he sees you, "Oh, just a patient then?"
Ralph nods, "Snake bite," Turns to walk away, then shouts over his shoulder, "No venom to worry about, just stitches."

No venom? You turn to ask Ralph, but the fat man is quick when he wants to be. He's already out the door and out of sight by the time you glance back.

"Oh, alright then," The doctor approaches you, "Come along then, let's get you taken care of."

>It's 5:40 AM over here. I should sleep.
>Thanks for playing. Lemme just answer a few questions, then I'll wrap this thread up.

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>>25695105

Don't be silly. We are a Tax Man, not a Police Man or an Army Man. The Authority of State is all we need for our protection, as proven by recent events.

>>25695123
Excuse me, but I do not understand what relation rolls and the taking of suggestions could possibly have. It would be take a very weird system to put those two together.

>>25695123
>Yes, I'll ignore suggestions that are particularly insane. I go by consensus at any rate. Rolls don't decide what you'll do.

>>25694751
>You make a very good point. I don't know about counting the successes like that though. I mean it's the most reasonable idea put out there as opposed to the sleep addled system I just thought of. I should probably think of a better system. Bleh.

>As far as time to pick this up goes, I've got the writing bug, so does tomorrow work with anyone/everyone? Actually, I should probably put this at a better stopping point, so here I go a little longer.

>>25695187
Some quests, normally the spontaneous ones, go by a "The suggestion with the highest roll wins" system.

It never ends well.

>>25695199
In selecting suggestions, will you filter out suggestions you believe are not fitting for the character, or will you allow all sensible suggestions to shape the character?

Doctor Andrews is quick and fastidious. After the blood was wiped away, the wound proved rather undramatic. The most interesting thing about it was that there three holes, in a kind of triangular pattern. Doctor Andrews was as skittish as Ralph had said he was. Rather drained by the adrenaline crash, you could not get much of anything out of him other than confirmation he had worked on others before. Wounds bandaged, you are discharged from the hospital, and, after checking the time, find to your disappointment that your office would be closed. Your report would have to wait.

A quick stop by the police station to pass on word of the strange events confirms what Ralph had told you- the desk sergeant nodded, and merely said somebody had already mentioned this. A police car was going to Albigram's farm (A part of you wonders whether or not it was strictly within Detroit's jurisdiction, but the policeman seemed awfully confident), and the officer stated rather confidently, "And I know better than to hold you," with a chuckle, telling you to hurry home. Nice man.

You go home, your dog there to greet you at the door. It is a nice home, a comfortable home- a mite spartan, but you lived alone here with your dog and your interests- of which there were few. A telephone, and an expensive refrigerator that to your disappointment, was on the fritz again, those were your great splurges in life, your luxuries.

You take off your suit and tie, hang up your hat. You make special note to sew shut the hole in the pants, to clean the blood and dirt off. Dress in your sleeping clothes. Write in your journal your notes. Realize, belatedly, that you forgot to time the encounter. You would have to guess. "Mr. Albigram- 3:30PM, 5:00(?)PM" "Mr. Tom, and Mr. Buhl, 5:40(?)PM, 5:50(?)PM" "Mr. Buhl 5:50(?)PM to 6:25(?)PM" "Hospital, 6:25(?)PM 7:21PM" You don't bother writing the time at home.

You lean back in your chair, idly petting your dog. Another day.

>>25695295
You also may want to archive this on suptg.

>>25695295
Thank you, OP.

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>>25695295
Something wasn't right, in reflection. Aside from the obvious. Justice. Why did you think of justice? Such a strange moment. Such a strange, concrete moment of clarity.

It was nice, in a way.

Who were Tom and Ralph? And more importantly, how would you collect the back taxes owed from Mr. Albigram's estate? You blanched at that thought. Your perfect record! Ruined!

You close your journal, set your dented watch on top of it. You could worry about that in the morning. You would have to be honest with Mr. Hamilton. You fearfully wonder how he'll take it. Poor fellow. He was relying on you!

Tomorrow is another day though.

You dream of eyeless men watching you.

>End of prologue. Got weak there at the end, but oh well.

>>25695222
>Eh, that's kind of a tricky tight rope. If it's something absolutely ludicrous, like, I don't know 'invent the atom bomb,' yes, I'll throw that out. I have been writing Timothy as a, well, character so far, but it's not going to be set in stone. I did not expect Timothy to so value JUSTICE. I try to be flexible. If a suggestion makes sense, don't worry about it being 'out of character.' Just suggest it. Timothy can change, that's kind of what I was thinking of making this quest about, how Timothy resolves himself to adapting. Or something. Tired.

>>25695323
>Erngh. Urgahtatehareh. I hate archiving my own stuff. I realize that sounds like a lazy shit head thing, but it feels so...Self aggrandizing. Maybe after I sleep I'll feel better about it.

>>25695346
>Cliche as fuck, but thank YOU for reading my half baked nonsense. I'll see if I can pick this up tomorrow.

>For now, I sleep.

I'm guessing we should not concern ourselves too much with affairs of poor late taxpayer, now that the matter is in Police's capable hands. For future reference, however, we should seek ways of preventing our briefcase turning into serpents. Maybe one of State sanctioned church denominations could assist with that?

>>25695199
Well, if you can think of a good and easy system, go ahead. I have just found that nearly all quests end up with a really skewed system where the likelihood of something doesn't relate to the intuitive interpretation of rolls at all.

Apparently many fear the dice but few actually look at how their system works.

Examples:
That one Bleach quests where all players are again and again surprised by how many crits they roll. They use d20 and take 10 rolls into consideration. Of course they have tons of crits, the probability of NOT having one is mere 35%.
Or Exabyte's quests, where the first 6 d100s are taken into consideration and he takes the best of them. Pretty much every activity is an outstanding success and there are near to no failures. And of those failures nearly all are critical failures, which is plain ridiculous.
To a lesser extend this is true for all systems that take several rolls into consideration EXCEPT when one of them is a crit.

>>25695383
There isn't really a good way to handle dice rolls in a quest-type thing.

Except rolling for successes with the dice pool decided by abilities I suppose, but that's a bit crunchy for most quests.

>>25695400
>that's a bit crunchy
What I proposed earlier is not actually more crunchy than looking at the best out of three. Unless of course counting from 0 to 3 to be crunchy.

>>25695351
Fine, ya baby.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Tax%20Quest

>>25695383
1d100 is the best system

>>25695351
You're not archiving it?

Do we have any volunteers to archive it? This is a good intro thread.

>>25695432
Some people don't want to spend time doing fucking calculus to figure out whether they succeeded at brushing their teeth, don't be an elitist.

>>25695485
Some people don't roll for brushing teeth.

>>25695511
If I can't crit fail and put a toothbrush through my brain stem then I'm not sure I want to be playing that system.

>>25695485
Sure, if you are overwhelmed by counting to three it's not the best system for you. I do wonder how you managed to learn how to read in that case though.

>Another quest being spoiled by HURR DURR JUSRICE faggots
No, I am not edgy Mcedge faggot. It is just that /tg/ has absolutely no concept of justice besides being a ham-fisted, walking cliche and will turn around on a dime if things don't go their way.
I hope by justice, we went more with bureaucratic approach, as in trying to go by the law and being meticulous.

>>25695351
>>Erngh. Urgahtatehareh. I hate archiving my own stuff. I realize that sounds like a lazy shit head thing, but it feels so...Self aggrandizing. Maybe after I sleep I'll feel better about it.

No, OP. You really should archive your own threads. For better consistency (it seems that each and every faggot who archives thinks it is his duty to fuck up tags by doing them wrong or adding unnecessary stuff).

ALSO, there is some retard on /tg/ who thinks it is so fucking funny to archive threads he doesn't like and put derogatory descriptions and tags for them. He's been targeting many quests now. So it would be in everyone's interest if you archive your threads at the very start.

>>25696128
>ALSO, there is some retard on /tg/ who thinks it is so fucking funny to archive threads he doesn't like and put derogatory descriptions and tags for them.
I think there are two of them. One keeps the correct tags but writes unusual descriptions, the other just makes derogatory tags and descriptions.

I think the first is quite hilarious and doesn't do any harm but the second one I don't like.

>>25696128
>Implying there is a more perfect personification of Justice than a civil servant
>Implying there is a more perfect civil servant than a Tax Man

His Tax Code is His Shield and His Sword by Which He Separates The Contributing Citizens From The Welfare Recipients.

Edgy mcedge.

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>And I'm awake. I sincerely doubt anyone will be up that participated in the quest last time, so I guess I'll be picking this thread up again later. Would people mind 9:00PM PST? I hope it's alright if I conspire to keep this thread alive until then- it's got plenty of posts left in it, and I'd like to lessen my footprint in suptg.

>>25695449
Agh, AGH. Thank you. I'll archive my own threads from now on if people call for it, using your tags. I am sorry for that.

>>25695383
>Now that I've slept, I think I can think of my objection to it. Before anything else, keep in mind that I do think it's superior to encouraging critical successes or failures. Crits are neat, but to keep rolling until one or the other occurs causes them to be somewhat watered down in value. I think I have three objections to your system (Which again, I do want to say is good).

>First, it does require three posts in response to a situation, which I don't know if I can scrape up every time, and will help speed a thread to bump limit. Second, it hard locks community participation to the first three respondents- it's always kind of a tricky thing in a quest. I'd rather it not extend forever, but I also imagine players would feel an irrational sense of disappointment that they didn't get to post first. Third, it's kind of a pool system, and pool systems are icky. Oh, also, adding critical success/failure conditions.

>On the other hand, it's better than the half assery I have now. If I can't come up with something better by the time I restart this thread, I'm going with it. I might adjust it somewhat, but it seems to be the most reasonable course of action. Maybe make it so that consensus drawn on decision, then make rolls occur. It would pad things awful like, but it's better than making it a pure test of speed.

>>25700100

Going from my experience as a QM, don't let dice decide your story. It's fine if you have a rough sense of stats or attributes behind the screen, but it's better to focus on making meaningful decisions in character than letting chance determine important things. There are exceptions, of course (some quests are more system-oriented an that's completely fine), but so far what you're doing is working fine. Could use a bit of polish here and there, but it's worth polishing, and that's not something you can say for many quests.

>>25700100
Most threads accept the first three rolls, but apply the results to the consensus decision, so everyone can contribute. They just don't all get a counted roll.

>>25700337
Polish? Can you be more specific. I would dearly welcome any and all criticism.

And I'm not going to let dice decide the story necessarily, but to sate my need for 'game,' I would like dice rolls to matter. I want there to be a risk of failure for Timothy.

>>25700534
Hm. That seems a bit game-y almost, since if the three rolls are good, players will go for a difficult choice confident they won't fail, and if the three rolls are bad, they'll play it safe. Which, y'know, may be a good thing for a 'quest' format since it's not meant as much to be a game...

Or maybe I misunderstood what you wrote. At any rate, I think I'm going to stick with gaining consensus first, and then rolling for now.

>>25701212
First achieve consensus, then ask for rolls. I prefer the best of three with d100.

>>25700337
I agree.
I hate when quests go by dice too much. If you rely too much on dice it might make people less likely to form good plans. I mean what's the point when a great plan can fail due to a crit fail and a very uninspired and bland one can greatly succeed because of the opposite?

>>25701269
I prefer that too but I wont pretend that it is not an easy-mode

Quick life sustaining bump to hold this thread up until 9 pacific so that I minimize my presence in suptg's archive.

>>25701396
>when a great plan can fail due to a crit fail

You make a good point. I would give bonuses for good plans in my opinion, but, it still leaves it up to randomness. More to consider.

And yeah, I'm not fond of the best of 3d100 myself either. It does have the advantage that it makes it easy for participants to feel involved.

Argh. Fuck crunch. I'm going with the pool idea, have necessary successes effected by difficulty. Critical failures remove successes, critical successes have nice effects or something. I am absolute shit when it comes to mechanics. Hopefully we won't have to roll the dice that often anyway. I am, as ever, open to change and or suggestions. I do want to keep the roll under system at any rate, since I've already made the notes here.

>>25704097

>>25704097
I'm ready to to collect some taxes.

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>Sorry about the delay, running a character creation that went altogether too long. Now, to resume.

You an entirely mundane person, Timothy Lawrence Johnson (You like to include your middle name, it adds prestige). But yesterday, you had an altogether very strange day. The strangest part, really, was the fact that everyone else was so calm about it. You kind of went along with it- a good talent of yours, going along with things. That's really what you've done all your life in reflection.

You dream of eyeless men, and a great machine. A lot of talk too. But the only word you can remember is 'blind.'

You wake up at 6:00AM sharp. Your leg still hurts. You worry you'll have a limp. The office will open soon. But perhaps you won't go to work. You have a phone. You made a police report. You could call them. Mr. Hamilton should understand.

>[ ] Go to work at the Revenue Office.
>[ ] Call in sick. Try to find out what happened at Mr. Albigram's place.
>[ ] Other

>>25708560
>...Good lord that's an awful typo right at the start. My sincere apology folks, this is an off night for me.

>>25708560
>[ ] Call in sick. Try to find out what happened at Mr. Albigram's place.

Let's have a look around.

Noir enganged.

>>25708560
>[ ] Call in sick. Try to find out what happened at Mr. Albigram's place

>>25708668
You swing your legs out of bed, and set them on the floor and wince- well, it's a comfort that you're not dying, but that'll hurt to walk on. You have never missed a day of work before in all the four years that you worked at the office. Then again, you've never been bit by a snake before either.

You need to find out what happened. You reach for your telephone, and for a moment fight the trepidation, before dialing in the number. The last spin click of the rotary, and soon you're talking to Ella, Mr. Hamilton's secretary.

"Hello, Detroit Revenue Office?"
"Hi Ella, I, I am not coming in today. Sorry."
You hear a pencil carefully being set down at the other end.
"Is this Johnson? You're not coming in today?"
"No, I'm sorry, I got bit by a snake yesterday."
"A snake."
"Yes ma'am."
"In Detroit?"
"Well, outside of Detroit- and look it doesn't really matter, I can't come in today, and that's the end of it, I'm sorry."
"Well," Ella is bemused by this, "Okay then, Mr. Johnson, I'll let Mr. Hamilton know. Not like you haven't earned a sick day. Have a nice day off, Mr. Johnson!"
"Thank you."

You hang up the phone. You aren't sure when it happened, but you can feel sweat standing out on your forehead.

To Albigram's.
>[ ] Drive out to Albigram's.
>[ ] Get some tools first: Mention any tools desired.
>[ ] Other.

>>25708560
>>[ ] Go to work at the Revenue Office.

>Implying there's any reason at all to miss a day what with the spotless record.
>Besides, no venom.

>>25708839
>[ ] Make a new thread so people can actually see you've resumed the work.

>>25708839
Preparation is necessary. Maybe we'll take our trusty pistol, provided it is legal.

Forensic gear, gloves. Definitely not a suitcase.

>>25708839
>[x] Other
Go and purchase a Colt 1911 Army Issue, with 3 extra Magazines. Consider purchase of a BAR if a Thompson Gun is not available.
We may be a Tax Man, but truants have been violent of late.

We'll expense any bullets that we end up using.

>>25708839
yes TAX QUEST

And we should get some supplies, liek a crowbar

>>25708913
>Engrghhhh. Why? This thread is fine. Gotta be efficient.

>>25708917
>Flipping a coin. Yep, Timothy has a .32 Colt Detective Special he keeps in a drawer. Hasn't had a chance to shoot with it yet, but a burglary happened down the road, so it made him paranoid.

Forensic gear. Yes, forensic gear- what the heck would forensic gear mean? Well, gloves- okay, there's a glove. Where did the other go? It'll have to do. And yes, you got your pistol legally- a small pistol, fits easily in a pocket.

You shave. Shower. Scramble eggs. Eat.

Forensic gear. You have no idea what exactly you'd need. Your closest experience with this kind of stuff was Black Mask magazines and Agatha Christie books. A real headscratcher.

Oh well. Maybe you'll think of it on the way. You pet your dog a goodbye, go out the door, and lock it, when you notice a dead pigeon crucified and disemboweled to your front door. Three nails. Roofing nails, some small part of your body thinks.

>[ ] Well. That's new. Take it down and chuck it in the garbage, then get going.
>[ ] Hope one of the neighbors might have seen when or who did this.
>[ ] Call the cops?
>[ ] Other.

>>25709146
Call the cops, can't be too careful, especially if there was a burglary nearby

also put our gun back when they come

>>25709146
Well, let's take it down and throw it away (obviously) and ask the neighbours if they saw anything. Given the oddening nature of these past few days, they likely haven't, but one may as well.

>>25709146
>[x] Call the cops?
We are a meticulous man. We will call the police, report this incident, then continue with our day.

>>25709146
>[ ] Stick it in the fridge for later.

Aloof Tax-man engaged.

>>25709146
>[X] Hope one of the neighbors might have seen when or who did this.
Can't hurt to ask.

>>25709226
Whoa, whoa, whoa. There’s still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going.

I concur.

>>25709146

[x]Other

Remember to pay a visit to Doctor Andrews to get a copy of the your medical record, showing that you were in fact bitten by a snake. If questions are asked at the office, present this. Clearly no one can question your sick-day on with THAT.

>>25709353
This is a valid idea. After we phone the police, we should obtain a medical note from our doctor saying we got bit

>>25709087
>>25709099
>I gotta learn to update before I post. Right, crowbar's on the shopping list. Probably still want the colt automatic, right?

>>25709198
>>25709204
>>25709211
>>25709248
Well. That's strange. You go to take it down- but hesitate a little. Though unsightly, perhaps the police would like to leave it as it is for their forensics? Can they get fingerprints from pigeons, or nails? In doubt, you leave it be.

You walk to the house on your left, Harold's. The house to your right has a man that works night shifts, so he'll be gone or sleeping, but Harold worked over at the Ford plant, and thankfully had a 9 to 5 shift. Hopefully he would be awake.

Harold comes to your door, and you ask him if he might have seen anyone with a dead pigeon, hammer, and nails. Harold in turn asks why in the world you would ask this. You take him outside, and point to your door. Harold seems to consider it in silence. He looks back at you, and mentions that he had not, but there had been a strange car parked outside your house when he came back from the bar at around 10:00PM. . A Cadillac Suburban. Old car.

He remarks he would have remembered this manner of pigeon execution though, and he had not seen that. You privately note that Harold had been drinking on a Thursday.

You walk back to your home, and call the police. They state they'll send a car over, and for you to stay calm. The police dutifully note what happened, but one of the officers confides it's probably a kid. "You live at the edge of a bad neighborhood." Still, your concerns have been recorded.

It's 7:25AM now.

>[ ] Let's go shopping, then Albigram's. (Bill $19.22, get Colt 1911 +3 magazines, sturdy crowbar.)
>[ ] Let's go straight to Albigram's.
>[ ] Other.

>>25709353
>>25709426
>Hah, good thinking. I'll say Mr. Timothy L. Johnson already got one, since he'd do that probably.

>>25709353
Seconding this, but after we inform the police of this vandalism.

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>>25709477
>[x] Let's go shopping, then Albigram's. (Bill $19.22, get Colt 1911 +3 magazines, sturdy crowbar.)
>I'll say Mr. Timothy L. Johnson already got one, since he'd do that probably.
Good, we already have our doctor's note, then.

The Taxman cometh.

>>25709477
>[ ] Let's go shopping, then Albigram's. (Bill $19.22, get Colt 1911 +3 magazines, sturdy crowbar.)

Tax Man, may I just put it out there that in the one thread you have given to us I have found more meaning in my life than in the thirty years prior to this day

>>25709477
lets head straight theere, we have what we need

>>25709477
>[ ] Let's go shopping, then Albigram's. (Bill $19.22, get Colt 1911 +3 magazines, sturdy crowbar.)

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Tfw this hasn't 404'd

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>>25709313
>>25709226
That would be unhygienic. It's probably already spoiled in this balmy fall morning.

But then again, it'd be a shame to let it go to waste...

{BAD END - OH GOD I CAN'T STOP PUKING}

>>25709477
Lets go shopping first, too many strange occurrences in the last 24 hours to go unprepared. Don't want to be caught off guard and be prevented (e.g. killed) from enacting our tax themed justice.

Do we have a notepad and pencil on us? You never know when the written word will aid us, especially since Mr. Albigram seemed to believe we had encountered him before when we clearly remembered we hadn't

>>25709626
We have a journal, and we probably had a notepad, until our briefcase was turned into a snake. Probably best if we get a new one.

>>25709477
>[ ] Let's go shopping, then Albigram's.
Sounds like a solid course of action to me. Our .38 should suffice until we can buy the automatic, should a situation arise outside of our normal vocation.

>>25709616
That's why you cook your crucified pigeon before you eat it...

>>25709548
>>25709544
>>25709538
Two guns. Wonder if they'll call you two guns Johnson? You weren't much of a cowboy, but the comfort to know you had It kind of hurt to spend this much money, but hurt in the wallet was better than hurt in the body.

The 1911 wouldn't fit in your suit's pocket, so you've left it in the glove box for now. Sure, you could probably stuff it in your vest, but to be honest you're a bit afraid. You've heard those things have hair triggers. And wandering around with a gun that flagrantly would probably not endear you. Big overcoat. That's the next thing you had to get, something with roomy pockets. This detective business has so many details. The crowbar is on the seat next to you, as you drive out of Detroit and to Mr. Albigram's farm.

Was it just last night? As you pull up by the dirt road, next to the chicken wire fence and the mailbox, you don't see anything you'd expect. No police men around, no chalk outlines (Sure, it wasn't pavement, but something to mark where a body had been!), not even stains. The rake was missing, you noticed that immediately as you looked out on the former Mr. Albigram's property.

Maybe the snake would be too.

Two decisions:
>[ ] Bring the .45.
>[ ] Bring the concealable .38.

Next:
>[ ] Investigate the lawn, see if you can find any traces of the struggle. (Time variable, three rolls, one success necessary. Anything below a 60 succeeds.)
>[ ] Get to the house. See if you can find anything there. (Time variable, three rolls, two successes necessary. Anything below a 45 succeeds.)

>This is my first flirtation with mechanics. I apologize.

>>25709798
{x}concealable .38, need that stealth

[x]investigate the house, this is big time


do you want us to roll with our choices? Or make the choice and then roll?

>>25709798
>[x] Bring the concealable .38.
We really need a proper shoulder holster if we're to carry the .45 with us.
[x] Get to the house. See if you can find anything there

Do you want consensus first, then roll?
That's how Predator Quest does it, and it seems to work well.

>>25709626
>>25709660
>Sorry, yes, you have a notepad and pencil. You are very diligent about this when you go out to deal with delinquent tax payers.

>>25709842
>I shoulda specified that, huh? Reach consensus first, then I'll tell you when to roll.

>>25709798
>>25709842
Agreeing with this guy. Check the house first to make sure we don't get surprised while investigating.

>>25709798
Bring the .38,
Also investigate that house its suspicious

>>25709798
>[ ] Bring the .45.
>[ ] Get to the house. See if you can find anything there. (Time variable, three rolls, two successes necessary. Anything below a 45 succeeds.)

>Right, calling it for house and .32. And yes, I wrote .38 because I'm an idiot and can't get .38 special off of my mind.

>Roll it folks.

Rolled 41

>>25709920

Rolled 72

>>25709920
Rolling it, chief.

>Tax Quest
wut
>Thread preview includes crucified pidgeons and preparing multiple firearms
WUT

>>25709920
What are we rolling dice wise?

Rolled 35

>>25709920
Here we go!

Rolled 18

>>25709798
Bureaucratic justice

>>25709969
>1d100.
>>25709986
>>25709957
>>25709959
>Two successes! You got it.

>Writan.

>>25709964
Taxman's gotta stay safe, you know. You never know when it might turn into Call of Cthulhu.

>>25709957
>>25709986
Nice.

Rolled 16

>>25710003
I guess its good to pay your taxes

File: 1372485537481.jpg-(107 KB, 677x497, IverRevolver.jpg)

107 KB JPG

You keep the revolver in your pocket as walk down the path, clenching it in your fist. Under the gray sky, it looks like a totally normal, bleak, desolate, unelectrified farm. Just a farm where you had your briefcase turned in to a snake.

The boards creak under you as you approach the door. Should you be quiet? Somehow, despite seeing Mr. Albigram's body, it didn't seem real. Some part of you reassures you, as you have a terrible feeling of deja vu, that you're going to knock on this door, you'll ask to be let in, you'll argue a bit, you'll hold up the papers, he'll step aside, you'll sit on a dusty chair, lay out the papers on a table, you'll argue, and it'll all happen again, only this time, the rake will miss, and you'll have your brains beat out of your head, and you'll rot in a shallow grave.

You rewrap your fingers around your .32. Well, this time, it'll be different.

You try the door handle. Locked. Then glance over at the broken window. Right.

You clear the window, and walk in. It looks the same. Your papers are even left on the table and floor, a bit wrinkled The exact same- except for one very important thing. The mirror by the stove is missing. It was a pretty little think, wooden frame painted golden. Stuck in your head, as something not suiting Mr. Albigram. Aside from that, in his living room at least, no changes.

You hear a creak at the opposite end of the house.

>[ ] Investigate. (Stealthily. 60 and below, one success needed.)
>[ ] Flee. (No roll required)
>[ ] Gun out, wait for them. (No roll required.)
>[ ] Other.

>>25710254
>[ ] Investigate. (Stealthily. 60 and below, one success needed.)

We have good chances.

>>25710254
>[X] Investigate. (Stealthily. 60 and below, one success needed.)
Of course.

>>25710254
>[ ] Gun out, wait for them
No chances.

>>25710254
>[ ] Gun out, wait for them. (No roll required.)

Rolled 100

>>25710254
investigate that shit

>>25710300
>>25710304
Honestly, it's best to remain anonymous. Stealth pls

It's below sixty, and three rolls

>Calling for investigation. Roll on, gentlemen.

>>25710371
Meh, Anonymity is fine, but having a 'mask' to drop to become anon is better in my opinion. Besides if I have it I might as well use it

Rolled 15

>>25710396

Rolled 74

>>25710396
rolling for nat 1

Rolled 27

>>25710396
Here we go.

>>25710433
Splendid.

>Right. Successful then. Writing.

>>25695383
And then there's Ogre Civilization Quest, which is fucking awesome because Stupid Lucky and Lucky Stupid.

>>25710254
>Gun out. Wait for them.
I'm not positive, but based on the snake magicks I'm pretty sure we're dealing with a feral negro.

And if there's one thing there known for, it's that they have motion-based vision.

>>25710480
>there
>posted after voting
May the beast have mercy on me, for God will not.

Well. You've come this far. You creep forward, one foot forward, then shifting the weight on to it, like you read in the pulps. You half draw out your gun, but keep it behind you- you hope you don't have to shoot anybody. Pretty hard to claim self defense when you were breaking and entering. Well. Broken yesterday, then entered today. You're pretty sure that Mr. Hamilton never mentioned you could go searching in houses without a warrant.

You creep past the stove, through a hallway, past some stairs, and halt at the corner, leaning around it. It looks like a back room, and you take a moment to gag. The floor is covered in blood, raccoons, rabbits, foxes, a dog? all hanging there, their throats slit. At least ten of them. There's little buckets under each one, but they do the job inadequately, leaking on to the wood floor. There is a door beyond, left open, and you can dimly see the outside around the person. Very short looking man, couldn't be more than five foot four. Hunched over, a big greatcoat that looked army surplus hanging off of him, padding through, searching through the animal bodies.

"I fucking told you, I fucking told you Mick, you were going to get yourself in hot water one a these days," he mumbles, hat low, napkin folded over his face, "But you just gotta go fucking stretching the immutable bonds 'tween friends, don't ya? I swear, oh SHIT!" He leaps back, as something black and foul smelling squirts out of the fox's gut he was pawing at, spattering on the man's hands and coat, "Son of a fucking BITCH! Fuck!"

He is in the middle of a temper tantrum.

>[ ] "Hands up!" Gun on him. Look tough.
>[ ] Stay awhile and listen. You don't have any legal basis here.
>[ ] "What are you doing?" Be honest.
>[ ] Leave.
>[ ] Other.

>>25710658
>[ ] Stay awhile and listen. You don't have any legal basis here.

Rolled 32

>>25710658
[x]Hands up! Look tough

>>25710658
>[x] Stay awhile and listen. You don't have any legal basis here.
We need more information before we can adequately reply.

We are fastidious and careful, we do not rush into things.

>>25710658
>[ ] Stay awhile and listen. You don't have any legal basis here.

>>25710703
>>25710697
>>25710686
>Calling it for fly on the wall. Writing.

>>25710658
>[ ] Stay awhile and listen. You don't have any legal basis here.
"And what are you doing here, shortstuff?" would be the pulp detective's query. Our own can be watchful silence.

>>25710658
>Other
>"You look like you're in a bind. Need a hand?" (Bluff like a motherfucker)

>>25710703
Animal mutilation, we can probably arrest him for being Goddless Satanist Atheist Communist Gangsters.

>>25710800
We are not the police, we're a taxation officer. Plain and simple.

Rolled 3

>>25710658
Don't reveal our hand just yet, lets listen a while longer.

>>25710850
Point taken. I vote we get the hell out and tell the cops about our commie satanist tax-evading friend.

>>25710800
this is the 1920's, I don't think we're worrying about communists at this point.

>>25710800
It's a feral negro, gents. I'm sure of it now. By drinking the blood of animals, they seek to connect with their beastial ancestry.

>>25710888
>Not worrying about Communists
>1920s

HAH. They've got their hands in every union and anarchist hall from here to Baltimore. They've tried to sweep through Europe and it's only a matter of time before they try here.

>>25710873
Why? They don't know we're here, we have a gun, we are currently breaking and entering, lets wait to call the cops until we hear/see something really scandalous.

>>25710888
>>25710912
Wait, if it's the 20's...
Check if he's a negro! If so, he's thus a criminal and we can go tell the cops to arrest him!

>>25710944
We aren't just a tax-man, we're also who is curious as to what the hell is going on. Let's not play a completely ridiculous characer.

>>25710991
Precisely, so lets not involve the cops just yet, we are stepping out of our comfort zone and have no way to justify doing so just yet.

You wait at the corner, peeking out to the sallow faced man. You catch a glimpse of his eyes, reddened and irritated.

"God damn fucking fuck. Shit," He shakes his head wearily, before leaning against the wall, far from the hanging creatures, "All you had to do, Mick. All you had to do was let it go," He shakes his head in remorse, then walks out the back door for a moment. He then returns back inside, dragging a wood cutting axe behind him.

"Sorry," he mumbles, before lifting it up, and hacking at the hanging creatures. He aims for the bellies, chopping at them again and again until they fall apart, before rooting at the remains with the blade. Three times he does this, dissatisfied, before he dismantles a rabbit in similar fashion. This time, he pushes at the remains, and you can barely hear a metallic 'tink.' At this, the masked stranger laughs, "Hah! How the fuck did you fit that in... 'hey kids!' " His voice hits a sing song register as he reaches in, "'Watch as I pull a hat outta my rabbit!' Eh, not quite," He holds aloft in blood stained fingers something glittering in the light from outside, "Mick, your troubles are over."


He turns to go outside again.

>[ ] Follow him.
>[ ] Stop him at gun point.
>[ ] Let him go.
>[ ] Other.

>>25711046
>[ ] Stop him at gun point.
"Stop right there, ya sick fuck." in our best false Brooklyn accent.

>>25711046
>[ ] Follow him.

>>25711046
Stop him at gun point. now we've got him on theft. Citizen's arrest, motherfucker.

>>25711046
He's talking to himself, right?

In that case, follow him.

>Follow him

>>25711046
>[x] Let him go.
We really should have filed our reports; Tom was watching them, so we could have gotten our answers from him.

>>25711094
See, this is the kind of retarded answer that doesn't realize the kind of person that we are.

>>25711046
Follow.
Also if we have to kill someone I vote we say "only certanties are death and taxes" of something similar

>[ ] Follow him.

Pointing a gun at another man still stands as something you'd rather not do unless absolutely necessary.

>>25711144
*or shit my typing is bad today.

>>25711046
>[ ] Follow him.
We need more information for the report!

>Okay, calling it for following. Writing.

>>25711144
>"only certanties are death and taxes"
No, death is not certain, but the other is assuredly.

>>25711117
Theft? Theft of what? Whatever he was rooting around for was inside of the rabbit's body, which, given it's state, was recently killed, not by Albigam.

Let's be sure. This fellow may have undeclared income that he is not informing the State or Federal government about...

>>25711242
That we know of. The man was capable of turning our briefcase against us. And into a tri-fanged serpent, the same pattern the rabbit was crucified with if I'm not mistaken.

On a related note after this we should probably go get another briefcase.

>>25711323
>the same pattern the rabbit was crucified with if I'm not mistaken.
No such detail has been noted.

>>25711323
Perhaps we could invoice him for the cost of a briefcase? Or perhaps take him to court and sue for damages.

After we've worked out what ungodly things are going on here, of course.

>>25711355
>Oh well. Maybe you'll think of it on the way. You pet your dog a goodbye, go out the door, and lock it, when you notice a dead pigeon crucified and disemboweled to your front door. Three nails. Roofing nails, some small part of your body thinks.

I misremembered but still I hold my case.

File: 1372488697336.jpg-(63 KB, 800x588, Gertrude.jpg)

63 KB JPG

Rolled 100, 100, 66 = 266

You wait, holding your breath. He steps through the back door, carelessly swinging it behind him. It rattles and clacks, but the latch doesn't catch. You breath a last gasp of clean breath, then walk after him.

Strange days these. Your greatest adventure before this point was turning down a banker's bribe. That, and the spelling bee, a great moment of pride. You step through the blood, and lean upon the door, wincing at the creak as you see the short man shuffling away. He looks up, and you fear you're spotted, before he dives behind a wood pile, still in your sight. You look after that, and see a woman coming over the field, black veil over her face, three rabbits in one hand, a Winchester in the other. Her dress is torn and filled with brambles, and as the wind turns, you can smell gunsmoke. She doesn't seem to have noticed either of you, being this far out.

There was a Mrs. Albigram listed under Albigram's dependents, you belatedly realize. But you had never met her before. At least, to your recollection. Gertrude. Gertrude Albigram. What was her husband's first name?

From this distance, you swear you see blood dripping from the rabbits.

>[ ] Hide close to the thief. (Stealth check, 50 under, 2 successes needed)
>[ ] Get back in to the house before she notices you!
>[ ] Say hello to her. No need to alarm her.
>[ ] Go for the man. Maybe you can be the hero, hunting the burglar down?
>[ ] Other.

>>25711404
>[ ] Other. Hide our gun. Then,
>[ ] Say hello to her. No need to alarm her.

>>25711404
>[x] Get back in to the house before she notices you!
We are dealing with powers and people of which we do not have knowledge; we should retreat and confer with specialists, such as Mr. Tom.

>>25711404
>[ ] Say hello to her. No need to alarm her.

File: 1372488954514.jpg-(113 KB, 600x720, three mounths.jpg)

113 KB JPG

>>25711404
>100, 100, 66
I saw this from the front page, but I can only assume this is either very good or very bad.

>>25711501
Bad. Very, very bad.

>>25711461
>>25711485
Just to be sure; we're going up to a widow, who has good reason to believe we are associated with her husband's death, and she has a well-working Winchester rifle.
Are you sure?

>>25711501
it's a roll-under system. it's bad.
>>25711404
>[ ] Say hello to her. No need to alarm her.
I assume we haven't drawn our gun yet?