I'm writing, so someone please archive this before a troll gets to it. Thank you.

You've gone to First Wood to negotiate an alliance treaty between the elves and the United Free Kingdoms. You're also there to discuss plans regarding the Phoenix Empire's presence and increased military presence.

The elf woman in charge of the Fey Court's intelligence, Jesse-May Prosper is a cagey woman, with sharp eyes, sharper steel, and apparently had a romantic history with your uncle, Paladin Julian Graves.

Your interrogation of the Phoenix Empire scouts has revealed a few things. The first is that hunger strikes and group murder/suicide is a common practice.

The second is more disturbing, apparently to the south of Purple Sands, the Phoenix Empire has established an entire colony, and it's been there for the past 18 years. Also they've been amassing an army, made of Terracotta Warriors, slaves, the conquered ettin race, and trained soldiers.

It reportedly numbers at half a million strong. You don't have the numbers to so much as face that many, and you have doubts that the arrogance of the Empire would allow diplomacy to work well.

There's two options left for you at this moment. 1) Find a way to open up Citadel as soon as possible and regain the million strong army within.

or

2) Travel to the north, and make contact with the orc tribes. They have the numbers, skill, and savagery to level the playing field.

Neither are easy options.

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There, now that I've archived the thread, I can stop hammering my f5 key so hard. I love quest time!

Soon as we get back to stone hall, I think we should double-check the prisoners are disarmed, then let them be together. Fuck their information, we can just ask the kingfisher.

>>25664909
I wouldn't even know where to begin with Citadel, so Orcs seems easier.

Welcome back Echo. Feeling good I assume?

Onto the question at hand, I think we need to do both to some effect. Opening the Citadel obviously needs to happen and we do need to make sure Old One and the Orcs don't create a huge mess that could spill southwards

>>25664909
We should free Citadel. That way we kill three birds with one stone. We destroy Citadel for good, get our army, and eliminate the Phoenix Empire's primary interest in us.

>>25665000
My only idea is to blast a big ol' hole in the cita-wall and kill any of those weird golem things that come to repair it.

>>25665012
Yeah I know. How many guys do we got on that problem anyways?

>>25664909
"Do we really have to sit through this treaty stuff?" Mari whines. "I know this stuff, I studied it in the Conclave. It's BORING."

"I like boring." Mage says. "Boring does get you stabbed or burnt or carved into pieces."

"YOU are supposed to be working on a way to get us inside the Citadel." Mari says.

"I've got one, well...two, but one uses the Maw and is currently totally fatal, and the second one will take years of mining and refinement in order to make what we need." He says.

"I'm at a loss." Lea says as she plays cards with Tricia.

"It is a tricky pick, isn't it?" Your partner says. "Orcs or the giant dome of death? Neither is appealing."

>>25665029
hopefully it is at least one, if not several.

If nobody, then it's a priority to get someone working on it.

Eh, the misarchiving isn't so bad. The first even had the right name, and I dunno about you, but after last thread I now want a llama baby quest. Sounds adorable.

>>25664909

Are the Phoenix Empire marching on the remains of the Citadel Kingdom, or are they sailing there?

If they're traveling by sea, it might be possible to have Dana's people swim along and sink their ships with some magical explosives or such.

>>25664909
We have a choice between a known adversary ie. Citadel and an unknown group ie the orcs. The Phoenix are interested in Citadel what with their scouts travelling around the wastes surrounding it. This is really difficult.

I'm gonna choose Citadel. Better the one we know rather than the one we don't.

>>25665090

The orcs may also be planning an invasion, however, now that Citadel's protective magics are waning/waned. It might not be a bad idea to get a feel for them to see if they're vicious but not unreasonable, or just vicious.

>>25665046
"We need to take care of both. Orcs are going to be a problem depending on how Old One handles things and it's not like we can just LET him take charge. Not like we can do much about the Citadel anyways unless another solution presents itself. So finding a way for me to not freeze would be most welcome"

>>25665046
"Well, even if the orcs were perfectly pleasant, I'd still be leery of going all the way up to their frigid, snow-laden lands. On the other hand, are you for real on that "years of refining" thing? We don't have years. Can we leverage our big ol' battleship to get in there, or maybe just dig under it or something?"

>>25665122
Digging under it would take years anyways and the whole thing is probably protected from every angle

>>25665137
I wish we could just use a battering ram, but it would eat the damn thing.

Are there any more intact teleportation devices to get into citadel?

>>25665046
I vote orcs

What about blackpowder? Lots and lots of blackpowder.

>>25664909
>the conquered ettin race
We need to find out if they've been forced into helping the PE or not. If they could be convinced to act as a fifth column that would be ideal.

Also, is there a rough estimate on the populations of the UFK, White Tree and First wood? Citadel itself was millions so it could easily support an army of +500k.

Size and sophistication of the PE colony support infrastructure would also help. How many civilians are in the colony, etc.

>>25665174
yep, that's basically our only plan at some point. It may or may not work, so we should just send someone to blow the damn thing up and while waiting on results, go talk to the orcs.

Drop by stone hall on the way to the orcs to get the prisoners eating and not killing themselves, because shit prisoners, stop being so difficult I just want you to sit there until your daddy bird shows up.

so, I take it the consensus is:

WE deal with the orcs, we send some NPCs to try simple explosive solutions on the citadel. About right?

>>25665289
I doubt the explosives would work

>>25665321
It's got to be worth a try, at least. Citadel repairs itself, but it must take time to do so - if we punch a big enough hole right at the top, possibly by bombing it from an airship, we might be able to get enough light for long enough to do the Seal.

>>25665523
I was planning on a side-hole with mirrors pumping light through it to the seal-mirrors.

whichever is more feasible, really!

>after last thread I now want a llama baby quest. Sounds adorable.

You are a baby llama!

A human approaches.

>Chew food
>Watch human
>Spit at human

>>25665744
>Spit on human
>Spit on human
>Spit on human
FTFY

>>25665046
"Not much of a choice, Tricia. We apparently don't have a way into citadel that wouldn't render us bricks or take years. We'll have to go to the frozen north and hope the locals are friendly."

"We need to take care of both. Orcs are going to be a problem depending on how Old One handles things and it's not like we can just LET him take charge. Not like we can do much about the Citadel anyways unless another solution presents itself.

"Even if the orcs were perfectly pleasant, I'd still be leery of going all the way up to their frigid, snow-laden lands. On the other hand, are you for real on that "years of refining" thing? We don't have years. Can we leverage our big ol' battleship to get in there, or maybe just dig under it or something?" You ask.

Mage shakes his head. "Wouldn't work in this case. The problem is that..." He pauses and sighs. "Long magic babble answer. It translates to: we can't do enough physical damage to beat it's healing, and no form of magic will work on it."

"So, then what's your solution that'll take years?" Tricia asks.

"Our favorite mineral. If we get enough brillitite, and set it off, the magic surge would be enough to be able to force a hole." He says. He holds up a hand. "And before you suggest taking Ssen's birth home apart, I need to explain. I'm talking PURE brillitite. The mineral itself, no traces of gravel or marble or obsidian, or any other rock, just the stuff itself. If you extracted all of the pure brillitite from the Light Tower, a proces that would take a while, you'd get a pinhead's worth of the stuff. Now, it would probably be enough to blow up the Leviathan that much, but it's not enough to get Citadel open."

"Well, how much do we need?" Lea asks.

"A lump the size of an egg would do it." He says. "It would also be enough to level the Phoenix Colony as well, if we wanted to go that way." He shrugs. "The issue isn't finding the brillitite. It's tricky to find but not impossible, just that it'll take years for us to get enough and refine it down." He says. "But that's my best plan. It'll work...but...like I said, years."

>>25665974
Who WOULD have that much brillitite? Apparently it's some kind of low-concentration deal. HmmmmmmmmmmIgotnothin'.

>>25665974
"Fine, cold it is. If it's volatile enough to level a city, it's probably too volatile to just find lying around in a dragon horde or a wizard fault, which means the hard slow way.

Do we know anything about the orcs? Other than they're there? I don't mind going in blind, but it would be prudent to at least check what we know first."

>>25666102
His Light is all about the brillitite. We could try asking him.

>>25665974
"Old one did say something about the orcs having mines as I recall. We might just get a two for oner here."

"Fine, cold it is. If it's volatile enough to level a city, it's probably too volatile to just find lying around in a dragon horde or a wizard fault, which means the hard slow way.

"Do we know anything about the orcs? Other than they're there? I don't mind going in blind, but it would be prudent to at least check what we know first." You say. "Old One did say something about the orcs having mines as I recall. We might just get a two for oner here."

There's shrugs all around. "Just rumors." Lea says, shaking her head as she see that Tricia has the advantage in the game. "Grey skinned slavering monsters that live to attack, rape, pillage, and have no sentience beyond that of an intelligent ape. Which contradicts the fact that they can make blades, bows, arrows, and armor...but they aren't a known factor."

"Your Uncle and Toll dealt with them." Tricia says. "You could ask them."

>>25666378
"Will do, it's unlikely that they'd want to get dragged along for the ride. Nor would it be a good idea"

>>25666378
"We'll have to talk to them soon enough anyways, treaty business and whatnot. I'm as anxious to get it done as you are- we've got some pressing business in stone hall, which hopefully we'll wrangle Jessie May into helping with. Talk about a wild goose chase."

"Will do, it's unlikely that they'd want to get dragged along for the ride. Nor would it be a good idea" You get up and go in search of your uncle.

It's a short trip. You're all staying in the retro-fitted Traveller's Tavern, and Uncle, Toll, Jesse-May, and Maxine (out of her Mab garb) are sitting in the main room, conversing over a table covered in papers. The room smells of very expensive wine, and Jesse-May's cigarettes.

"Moving on to the next item." Toll says. "What does your fruit output look like? The UFK has its own orchards, but I know you have your own."

"What's the status of the Grove of Joy?" Julian asks. "If you keep it, you owe the Paladins a tithe for services, as according to the Moonrise Treaty."

"For the last time," Jesse-May says. "That treaty has no more influence here."

"The Grove's all but dead. A barren wasteland with just the Maw thing and the corpses. That barrier thing is gone, so the whole place reeks of rot and death. The flies are horrific. If you like, I can show you."

Julian nods. "To confirm your claim. Anyway back to orchards...are you still apples and pears? The UFK is citrus heavy."

"That's good, we'll trade apples for oranges." She says.

Ugh, this stuff is agonizingly dull. Important no doubt, but dull, dull, dull. You clear your throat, and all four individuals look up at you.

"Lady Paladin Ssen." Julian says. "Do you wish to join us? We're just going over some minor details and haggling a little."

>>25666584
"I'm afraid not Uncle, but I do need what you and Toll know of the Orcs."

>>25666584
Hmm, speaking of the grove, or the grave as it look like now, can it still hold an army? If it can, then you could trap Phoenix Empire regiments in it if they attack you.

>>25666584
"I don't think you want a Leviathan descendant on your negotiating team, Uncle. I actually came to ask you about the Orcs that live north of Bronze Peak. I understand you and Paladin Toll have dealt with them before?"

>>25666584
"You know, I'm the type who can go on all day comparing apples and oranges, but that's not why I came here, no. I'd like to ask for all of your input on my latest fool plan. In short, I'm going to go help the orcs out with a dragon so that I can get their help in dealing with the phoenix empire. I already know the dragon, but I've never met an orc. Care to fill me in?"

>>25666584
"I'm afraid I'm most uninterested in apples- nasty things. Blue apples maybe, and that's because you can make fancy flutes out of them. I'm mostly here for information on the tribes of the north, after which I'll be on my way."

"Hmm, speaking of the grove, or the grave as it look like now, can it still hold an army? If it can, then you could trap Phoenix Empire regiments in it if they attack you." You ask.

"The only known entrances to it we know of are Thistleblossom's quarters, a field twenty-two miles from Stone Hall, and Lord Holting's manor." Maxine says.

"Alright, I do need what you and Toll know of the Orcs." You say, taking your seated position at the table.

"Very aggressive, not overly spiritual." Julian says. "Basic animal totem worship, but it's more for creation myth and tribal designation."

"They've got a caste culture." Toll says. "Truth be told, it's one step away from fucking slavery, but that's what they call it."

"They're...I suppose individualistic would be an accurate term." Julian says, and Toll nods. "Strong orks survive, thrive, and be great. Those that cannot, or have no excessive talents or skills are regulated to the lower castes. Those at the bottom fetch water, chop food, clean privies, and those who can excel fight, teach how to fight, forge, or carve."

"They keep their records in fucking stone. Mostly battle statistics of what tribe fucked which tribe over and how many orcs are dead." Toll says.

"That's a quick summary of what we know." He says. "Balles and Avery know a bit more. They were the ones who went into the tundra with your father. Toll and I just waited at the watchtower and shot at a few raiding parties."

>>25666864
"Sound like a fight is inevitable. Anything I should know about their biology? What about their equipment and tactics?"

>>25666864
"Julian, Toll, I'm going to let you two deal with the treaties. Drive a hard bargain, mab's a shrewd negotiatior, and be sure to pick up some wood for whisper flutes. I've got to run off and freeze my tail off while securing some morally dubious allies. That is, if I'm lucky enough to not cause their society to have some kind of uprising. "

We'll, of course, visit the prisoners on the way.

So, we we even need Jessie May? I mean, she's neat, but I'm not super impressed in her spywork ability.

This might have been a red herring.

>>25667223
She'll probably have a bunch of NPC offscreen ability.

No reason not to take her back to stonehall.

>>25667255
well, okay. We should think of a way to get her to come with us.

PERI claimed she'd come running if we asked. So maybe we should just ask. Suggest she tag along with us to stone hall to help with our own bird problem.

>>25667223
Spywork, by it's very nature is not about being impressive. If they do their job right, you never even suspect they're responsible.

Anyway, Peri vouches for her and we need a professional with the way we've been dealing with spies thus far. If a rookie like Cai Wei Zhe can con us, I'd hate to see what happens if we go unaided against a veteran.

"Sound like a fight is inevitable. Anything I should know about their biology? What about their equipment and tactics?" You ask.

"Tough hides." Julian says. "High pain tolerance, exceptionally high endurance. Expect them to parry and block a lot if one on one. They'll try to exhaust you and then take advantage of mistakes you make after that point."

"They aren't fucking craftsmen. However, they make armor and long metal blades to last and be used, repeatedly in scenarios that require little wear. Again, the shits prefer to wear enemies down and then rush them with stored energy. Oh, Shamans. They've got magic users."

"Totemic, they use basic assault spells, and a lot of spells that are designed to aid other Orcs. Like your friend's haste spell, only more so." Julian says. "They aren't the leaders though. That will undoubtedly be the most skilled fighter, but he wont be stupid. Maybe not a great strategist, but he'll be clever enough to be a problem.

"Is that helpful?"

>>25667320
"Can't ever know too much. The tough hides and pain tolerance will make using my poison an issue won't it? The cold would be bad enough without breaking a nail or a fang or something."

>>25667320
"How's their poison resistance?"

>>25667320
"Very, I'm sure you've saved me a few surprises. I'll be heading back to stone hall on my way out north, I'll do something about or caged birds while I'm there. Auntie May, my friend holds you in high esteem for your work, as does my uncle, for similar but distinctly different reasons. If it's fine with the court, would you care to tag along and give me a hand with the spies? I've never been good at dealing with prisoners myself."

"Can't ever know too much. The cold would be bad enough without breaking a nail or a fang or something. How's their poison resistance?" You ask.

"Not sure, actually." Julian says.

"Well, when you find out you be fucking sure to tell us." Toll says.

>>25667486
"And what dare I ask would you do with the knowledge of how vulnerable Orcs are to Lamia poisons?"

>>25667523
yeah, that's actually a pretty good question.

After that, inform them that we're going. this post still works, if you cut out the part about surprises.
>>25667476

>>25667486
Well on our way back to Stone Hall, should we stop at White Tree and tell HIS what's going on. it just doesn't feel right, leaving her in the dark like this.

Also, wonder if we can pick up Mage's sister. With half a million soldiers coming we need all the help we can get.

>>25667588
I doubt she'd want to see us and I don't want to let anyone deliver messages

"And what dare I ask would you do with the knowledge of how vulnerable Orcs are to Lamia poisons?" You ask.

Julian gives you his usual 'kind uncle' smile. "It's just something I think would be useful to know."

You sigh and shake your head. "Alright. I'll be heading back to stone hall on my way out north, I'll do something about or caged birds while I'm there.

"Auntie May, my friend holds you in high esteem for your work, as does my uncle, for similar but distinctly different reasons. If it's fine with the court, would you care to tag along and give me a hand with the spies? I've never been good at dealing with prisoners myself."

Maxine looks at Jesse-May. She frowns. "May, we could use you."

Jesse-May waves her hand. "You always need me. Give me a whistle flute and I'll be able to contact you. I want to see what all this hoopla is over this Kingfisher. Get a challenge."

>>25667641
"Challenges are one thing we have no shortage of."

>>25667641
"A challenge?" *give a big smile* "Welcome to the Dawnchasers!"

>>25667641
"We'll brief you on the way..or is it debrief? Well we'll do one or the other on the way to White Tree and then Stone Hall."

>>25667641
"See? we're already making good on our trade agreements. I'm more than content with exporting a few challenges."

>>25667641
nod to maxine
"Sorry about the inconvenience, I'll be sure to send her back in one piece."

So, our prisoners will have been hungry about a week in a half, two weeks by the time we get back by my reckoning. How are we going to play off letting them talk together? Expert advise? The paperwork finally went through?

"Challenges are one thing we have no shortage of. See? We're already making good on our trade agreements." You say. "Welcome to the Dawnchasers!"

She laughs and nods. "You really are Liam's daughter."

"We'll brief you on the way..or is it debrief? Well we'll do one or the other on the way to White Tree and then Stone Hall." You say.

Jesse-May nods and gets up. "I'll meet you at the stables."

You nod at Maxine. "Sorry about the inconvenience, I'll be sure to send her back in one piece."

"Don't joke about stuff like that." She says. "I need her."

Julian gets up and gives you a hug. You return the favor, and then some with a lamia hug.

"Take care." He says.

"Same to you, 'husband' of mine!" Maxine says as she slaps Mage on the ass.

Mage goes rigid and all but leaps for the door.

A few more goodbyes and generic supply (food, feed, etc.) purchases later.You're all loaded up into Wagon and on the road again.

Jesse-May looks at Wagon. She rubs her fingers together at the dust, grime, and His Light knows what else that's upon it.

"The horse is impressive, but...I don't know." She shrugs. "Some of the stories about you say that you move around in a church on wheels almost. Not a bargain deal from 'Wagons By Hassan' who I assume lives in Purple Sands."

>>25668380
"Wagon has served as a confessional before. As well as a boat. It's a glorious example of transportation worthy of praise!"

>>25668380
" I think we did get the wagon back in purple sands, in fact. How'd you guess? find a maker's mark somewhere?

Furthermore, church on wheels? What stories have you heard, that's a stretch, even for me."

>>25668501
It was a confessional at least once, but I doubt that story got out

>>25668380
"Stories? About me, us? Please share. These are going to be priceless!"

>>25668380
>"Some of the stories about you say that you move around in a church on wheels almost. Not a bargain deal from 'Wagons By Hassan' who I assume lives in Purple Sands."
Is it really the same wagon we got in Purple sands? I thought we'd lost one at some point.
Reality often turns out to be more disappointing than gossip, speculation and fables.
Really it's just a good sturdy wagon. Sometimes if it's not broke don't fix it.

>>25668566
well, we HAVE taken confessions and done weddings out of the wagon when we visit towns. It's happened several times.

But it's hardly a church! Not a single stained glass window.

>>25668380
"Not all churches are stained glass and holy symbols Jessie-May. But yes, this particular church is very..function over form. You learn to appreciate solid carpentry when being towed about by Lightmare."

Does this mean we've been advertising for hassan our whole adventure?

>>25668591
We didn't lose it, we just put it through a myriad of darkness.
>>25668581
Seconding this

>>25668380
"Churches are overrated."

A roof just gets in the way of the Light.

>>25668380
Those Citadel (read Faerie) stories are are going to be around for generations I fear, as are the paintings most of wich are trapped within Citadel, I hope.

>>25668696
Our wagon might have a cover over it...

"Not all churches are stained glass and holy symbols Jessie-May. But yes, this particular church is very..function over form. You learn to appreciate solid carpentry when being towed about by Lightmare.

"Also, Wagon has served as a confessional before. As well as a boat. It's a glorious example of transportation worthy of praise!" You say with a certain amount of smugness. "How'd you guess where it's from? Did you find a maker's mark somewhere?"

"Yeah," She says. "Hassan's lucky camel watermark's on the side here."

"Huh, anyway, there are stories about me?" You ask. "About us? Please share. These are going to be priceless."

Jesse-May chuckles. "They aren't as bawdy or as fun as the tales of Isen the Audacious...those things seem to be honestly viral." She shakes her head. "Well, did you ever kill a giant by gouging a hole in it, sliding inside and then devouring it's heart? Or have you gotten a generations of harpies to obey you by sinking your fangs into eggs, and injecting a holy venom that burned the love of His Light into them?" She smiles. "The elven tales of you are...more than a little gory and not too complementary."

>>25668933
"Ummmm.....I don't know what the giant thing is about but I didn't have to do anything violent to the harpies"

>>25668933
"The harpies were just happy to get away from their psychotic, murder-happy neighbours, really."

>>25668933
"Wow, okay, I see what you mean. I can kinda get the harpy thing, since I set them up nice in bronze peak, but a giant? Tricia, you've been with me from the start, have we ever dealt with a giant?"

>>25668933
"Metaphorically speaking, yes."

>>25668933
"That kind of makes me sad, how am I supposed to keep making friends with tales like that floating around?"

>>25668933
"Please don't talk about Harpy eggs and me sinking my fangs into them. That just makes me hungry"

>>25668933
"I'll have you know that not a one of my poisons does anything even close to that."

>>25668933
>>25669027
This, plus.

"How gory we talking about with the elves? Like head on pikes or eating people alive type of thing?"

"Ummmm.....I don't know what the giant thing is about but I didn't have to do anything violent to the harpies" You say. "The harpies were just happy to get away from their psychotic, murder-happy neighbours, really."

Jesse-May nods. "Well, that's legends for you. But be glad that you aren't this Isen the Audacious guy. I think the last one I heard has him punching a giant demon made of fire inside a mountain, then he seduces the stone maidens and leaves them crying tears of diamonds as he heads off to his next adventure." She shakes her head. "Honestly, they get more extravagant and insane every time I hear them."

"Totally not even surprised at this point." Tricia says.

"I'd like to know if there's any crossover?" Lea says. "Does the Paladin Serpent ever appear by Isen the Audacious?"

"Isen the Audacious does once go into battle against a giant darkness monster with the paladins right behind his charge." She nods. "You, Toll, and a few others are mentioned and apparently all of you have a deep love for Isen the Audacious, seconded only by your love of His Light."

All the other Dawnchasers burst into hysterical laughter.

>>25668933
"Nope and nope. But if there's one where we escaped an elf ambush by blowing up a mountain and sailing our wagon down the avalanche into a lake, that actually happened."

>>25668933
I suppose that if you consider Citadel as the "Giant" and Peace as the "Heart" then it could be told that way .

>>25669200
"Well, Isen's a cool guy but I don't think I'd go -that- far. I'd love to hear what Toll thinks about that one..."

>>25669200
"It's not too late to become pelt traders is it Trica?"

"Well, Isen's a cool guy but I don't think I'd go -that- far. I'd love to hear what Toll thinks about that one..." You say.

"Wait...he's REAL?!" Jesse-May asks.

>>25669325
"Real as the sun in the sky or the scales on my back."

>>25669325
Isen the Audacious? Yes. The tales are greatly exageratted though.

>>25669325
"He's more commonly known as King Itzak."

>>25669325
"Oh yeah, close personal friend of ours. not *ahem* that close though. We've helped each other out a lot, at purple sands then at stone hall. He's still residing there, in fact."

>>25669325
Oh yes, most of his stories only accurately reflect his ego. He's a good man with a good heart though, and he makes an excellent, albeit reluctant king.

>>25669325
"Sort of. So far as we've seen he never did any of those things, but really... he has to be seen to be believed."

>>25669325
"Oh, is he ever. The stories have done nothing to prepare you for the full Isen experience."

>>25669383
Nah, that's Itzak. Isen moves around.

>>25669325
"So, Jessie... have you heard about Stone Hall's current head of government? King Itzak Solomon Elegante Newgate?"

>>25669200
>Isen has a wind of sexy paladin ladies at his back for important fights

Of course he does. Obviously.

>>25669380
No. Hey No. We don't tell them that. It's enough that we confirm his existence.
>>25669423
God damn it if we tell them they're the same person, his entire alter-ego is blown. Come on.

>>25669452
second. don't give away his second identity.

That's for ISEN to do.

>>25669452
Thirding this. I mean, it's not like he goes to great extents to hide that they're the same person, but it's still kinda rude.

nthing NOT telling her he is the same guy.

>>25669505
true, true. we'll introduce her to him as his audaciousness and then let him spoil it

>>25669452
Gonna go with not giving him away

Rolled 2

>>25669325

"He is. The last I saw him, he was cavorting with none other than our new king!" then we giggle at the half truth.

Roll for Craft Disturbing Mental Image.

"Real as the sun in the sky or the scales on my back. So far as we've seen he never did any of those things, but really... he has to be seen to be believed. The stories have done nothing to prepare you for the full Isen experience.

"But yes, he's a close personal friend of ours. not *ahem* that close though. We've helped each other out a lot, at Purple Sands, then at Stone Hall. He's staying there for now, in fact." You say.

"Huh." Jesse-May says. She opens her mouth and then closes it.

Sadly, the guard at the gate is not Frederick as you go through White Tree territory.

"I'm worried what's going to happen when Billings dies." Lea says. "He's keeping the hate down, but..." She shakes her head. "This place is going to be an issue."

"Yeah, well." Tricia says. "They'll have about half-a-million other more pressing problems than us. Maybe we can get them to hate the Empire more."

"One shouldn't fight hate by simply moving it." Lea says.

"What's their army like?" Peri asks.

"What army?" Mari says. "There's a bunch of mercs that the Field Lords hire as private security, and then there's the city watch and you've met Frederick." She shakes her head. "They're going to get steamrolled if they march this far."

"Well, we're going to have to stop it then." Lea says.

>>25669730
"Seems like our lives aren't getting any simpler any time soon. Stakes just keep getting higher and higher."

>>25669730
"Billings is still spritely, here's hoping he'll be around for a good long time. The best we can do is set up some good trade that's profitable for both sides, defend them when the empire comes knocking, and help them when they run into crisis. If all goes well, we'll be all be fast friends by the time billings finally passes."

>>25669730
"Worse comes to worse we'll turn their entire society on it's head. Speaking of which, I don't think our 'Her Illuminated Self is paying' will help this time around, we may have to sneak in somehow."

>>25670041
We could always just

y'know

go around.

>>25670041
>may have to sneak in somehow
It's just 7 gold* man, we don't have to be THAT miserly

*united free nations approved composite alloy currency

>>25670041
We do got money you know

>>25670052

That would

1. take too long
2. miss out on primo Leviathan trolling opportunities vis a vis the guards.

>>25670100
Yeah, Frederick's a borderline friend now. I think we may have a problem, and everyone's just unsure of how to stage an intervenion for friendship intervention

>>25670086
>>25670072
We're not going to pay to walk on their racist ass road. Have some backbone.

>>25669906
"Billings is still spritely, here's hoping he'll be around for a good long time. The best we can do is set up some good trade that's profitable for both sides, defend them when the empire comes knocking, and help them when they run into crisis. If all goes well, we'll be all be fast friends by the time Billings finally passes." You say. "But, yeah, seems like our lives aren't getting any simpler any time soon. Stakes just keep getting higher and higher."

You travel on.

- - - Elsewhere - - -
Shinsotsu sighs as she hands Kingfisher another scroll. "So...it's true then. They reshape the soul to alter desires, it's not mind control. It's worse than that."

"I am aware." He frowns. "Steps will have to be taken to stop this."

"Should we leak this to the Citadel Kingdoms, or the elves?" The girl asks.

"Absolutely not. The last thing we want is for someone on their side to get the same idea. You can't trust anyone, my dear. I thought I taught you better. After all, if you had this power at your fingertips, would you be able to resist?"

She sighs and shakes her head. "No, Lord Kingfisher."

"Exactly, so we cannot trust anyone else with this information. People are weak, and this land needs taming, especially now that they're so lost and confused." He nods. "We'll stop Sky Lord Cheng's insanity, and the Empire will claim this land, and we will have order. These secrets will die, and Citadel will be dealt with." He points at his pupil. "Free will is important, without it, what use are we?" He grins.

She returns the smile. "Yes, teacher."
- - -

"Welcome to Stone Hall, city of the future!" Peri says when you finally arrive.

"What is that smell?" Jesse-May asks.

"That would be the hog farm we're passing by right now." Tricia says. "Do we have ANY entrances to Stone Hall that DON'T smell like shit when the wind blows the wrong way?"

>>25670220
"At least you don't have to taste it."

>>25670191
The first step to good race relations is good business. I'll just make a note to be peeved later if they use the fee for anything other than road maintenance.

>>25670220
"Plenty! there's the one that smells like smokestacks, the one next to the wizard exhaust, and probably more. I myself liked going in by the docks- all sorts of delicious smelling fish there."

Terrible smells: Subjective!

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>>25670220

Why does my brain think Kingfisher looks like this?

>>25670385
Who is that supposed to be? It if familiar.

>>25670220
I KNEW WE COULD BE FRIENDS WITH KINGFISHER

>>25670434
He's ahead of the curve, is who he is.

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>>25670385
Sort of, but I think the facial hair is a bit different.

>>25670434

A thinner and trimmer General Zod?

>>25670450
well of course we could. Let's make sure his men don't starve or kill themselves, shall we?

>>25670578
indubitably

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>>25670450

Yeah, he's basically an eastern version of Lord Vetinari-a spymaster concerned with keeping things as safe and stable as possible for as many people as possible.

Which, given our track record, means we'll likely make an enemy out of him before we make a friend.

Expect him to be the first to recognize us as a serious threat, and the first to defect once he realizes taking us down is futile.

>>25670220
>if you had this power at your fingertips, would you be able to resist?
>>25670450
we can be friends with him, yes. don't trust him.

>>25670690
All the while we just really want to be friends with him. Also he already said all the paladins had to be killed.

>>25670458
I concur with this image, at first he appears as a kindly old uncle, but those who know him both fear and respect him as the most danngerous man in the empire.

>>25670735
the only paladins left alive aren't exactly typical, and share his views on citadel's power

>>25670902
True.

We will have friendship one way or another.

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>>25670925

>>25670220
We really should buddy up to Kingfisher. Don't trust him to any extent, but having an open line of communication could go far. He basically wants what we want: Order, and Free Will.

I mean, maybe not Phoenix style order, but order nonetheless.

>>25670220
"I am assured by all the economic leaders that is, in fact, the smell of progress. I'm not sure if that's a good thing."

>>25671017
Not exactly what I had in mind. Oglaf is just so useful on /tg/ isn't it?

>>25671075
we should send him a sword of friendship made of cardboard and decorated with glitter. The words "Le's be friends" are written in glitter along the blade. with terrible handwriting

>>25670220
"It's a defense feature. Foreign armies will take a moment to cough and sniffle and try to get the smell out of their noses, and in that moment we will HAVE them."

>>25670690
He'll be our enemy, but one who is working towards the same ends. We do not kill him, no matter what.

I'm pretty sure he's a force for good, at this point. Or maybe neutrality, at the least. Obviously we don't know that in character, but just saying.

>>25670362
>"Plenty! there's the one that smells like smokestacks, the one next to the wizard exhaust, and probably more. I myself liked going in by the docks- all sorts of delicious smelling fish there.

"I am also assured by all the economic leaders that is, in fact, the smell of progress. I'm not sure if that's a good thing." You say.

"Strange progress." Jesse-May says as she sees a minotaur, a lizard man, and a human all talking to each other, and a naga and an elf haggling over what looks like a washboard with five extra cranks.

"You do know that there's no getting away from the rumors that you're all constantly screwing each other in some unholy orgy. Right?" She asks.

Tricia blushes and looks away.

"Although, I suppose there could be worse reuptations than 'They have SEX! All the TIME! In new and unique ways! Stay Away kiddies!" She chuckles. "You'd probably have to turn them away at the gates."

>>25671254
"I have no comment on that. Lea, how DID your date with barney go?"
Think that was his name, feel free to correct my spelling

>>25671254
Tempted to waggle our eyebrows at Tricia.

>>25671254
"I don't recall denying it."

>>25671325
Include tongue flick

>>25671254
>>25671341
Full length one at that.

>>25671254
"Well, unfortunate for them that the reality of these rumors is usually a lot more boring than they would hope. At least we might get some tourism out of the deal."

>>25671351
That is really less flick and more full erotic invitation.

Also we're still outside where it smells like shit and we can taste it.

>>25671254
"Well, I'm not screwing Mage, at least."

>>25671254
"I take offence to that. As a paladin I make sure that none of my orgies are unholy."

>>25671366
Pff.. worth it. Everyone faces be priceless.

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>>25671341
>>25671351
>>25671366
>>25671410
You people.

>>25671369
Might have been better as something like

"Don't be silly, Aunt May. I'm not screwing Mage."

Then a deliberate pause.

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>>25671463
What can I say that's just how we Roll

>>25671463
Yes and... ?

>>25671369
>>25671486
eh, don't really like these as much as the tongue wagging at tricia

>>25671254
"Don't ridiculous. Mage is my brothOH BY THE LIGHT that means he's your NEPHEW!"

>>25671254
"You know, I should have expected it. I really should have."

>>25671554
!!!

"wait a minute... This means YOU are mab's AUNT!"

Rolled 28

>>25671254
> 'They have SEX! All the TIME! In new and unique ways! Stay Away kiddies!"
"Only with my true love..." Stare lovingly at our shield. "...Clang."

"Haha, well, yes, erm, you see, the thing about that is...

How about them prisoners? We should probably get to dealing with them, shouldn't we?"

>>25671644
And Julian is Mab's uncle. Which would be funnier if we'd realised it before the Jesse-May thing really.

Okay. I don't know about you guys, but I am lagging like crazy here. Sorry about the absurd long pauses.

>>25670434
>>25670465
I know it's late but
>not recognizing Lord Vetrinari
NERDFAIL.
as punishment, you are to read all of the Diskworld books, in order.

>>25671916
Yeah I've been getting connection errors for past 20mins or so now.

>>25671916
nope, smooth as a silkworm dreaming about a babies' bottom over here.

>>25671916
Yeah, I was getting some Cloudflare bullshit for a bit.

Clear now, though.

>>25671919
Eh, you can skip Equal Rites.

>>25671385

You hiss a laugh. "Well, unfortunately for them that the reality of these rumors is usually a lot more boring than they would hope. At least we might get some tourism out of the deal.

"And I take offense to some of that. As a paladin I make sure that none of my orgies are unholy."

Everyone chuckles.

"By the way, Lea how DID your date with Barney go?" You ask.

"Fine." She says. "Anything more will cost you time as my training dummy."

"Alright, alright." Jesse-May says. "Enough with the fancy friendship-filled slightly-sickening bickering." She shakes her head. "Honestly, do you six have nothing better to do with your time?"

"When we're not in the middle of mortal danger?" Mage asks. "No, not really. As far as we're concerned, this is our 'Time Off' so to speak."

"Anyway, let me scope out the spies, and then I'll tell you what I can get from them." She says.

"Do you need us to run stealth translations again?" Mari asks.

She shakes her head. "I want them to be able to think I'm an ignorant guard, and I don't want them picking up body cues that I can understand them." She holds up her Whisper Flute. "But don't worry, you'll be hearing every word."

>>25672133
>"Anything more will cost you time as my training dummy."

Might be fun...

>>25672133
"Sure, the quicker we get to dealing with our guests, the faster we'll see them go back to eating. Were you planning on dealing with them individually? Or together in a group? They've been seperate until now, but if they kept from eating this whole time, why, I'd be so impressed that I might allow them their private talks."

>>25672133
>Whisper Flute
I'm glad Thistlebottom wasn't able to destroy all of those.

On an unrelated note how much would it cost for Mage to take a look at one for a couple of hours?

>>25672133
"Ah, that should help the proceedings along nicely. You know, I've long meant to bother mab for a few of those. Never did get a deal sorted out, though."

"Sure, the quicker we get to dealing with our guests, the faster we'll see them go back to eating. Were you planning on dealing with them individually? Or together in a group? They've been seperate until now, but if they kept from eating this whole time, why, I'd be so impressed that I might allow them their private talks." You say.

"Ssh. Ssh. Ssh." She waves her hand. "Little niece, let me do my job first. THEN we can go into all those endless crazy plans you have in that nutty brain of yours."

"Alright," You say with a huff. "On an unrelated note how much would it cost for Mage to take a look at your Whisper Flute for a couple of hours?"

"Well, let's see...you let me into that library that your little Schola Nitor has collected." She says. "You let me check out a few books, I'll let you play with my flute."

"Never say that again." Mage groans.

"What books, and for how long?" Lea asks.

"You don't get to know, and not more than two days." She says.

>>25672518
Wouldn't we need to know for bookkeeping purposes?

I suppose we could work in a clause that the Librarian is in a Non-Disclosure agreement, but still.

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>>25672518
Sure!

>>25672518
"I'll consider it. We may be family, and I like you and all, but you're still a spymistress. Nothing personal."

>>25672518
"Sounds like a fair enough deal, to me. I mean, most of that stuff is already going into the public history books. Or comes straight from elven archives anyway. Or is currently awaiting translation by someone who is part dragon. Though it's quite odd you don't want us knowing which, that's certain to play havoc with Ambrose's records."

>>25672628
let's add a clause about how we need her to keep up with the bookkeeping.

Secrets are one thing, but violating the paperwork, my god, that's just out of our power.

>>25672518
Did she just shush us?

"I'll consider it. We may be family, and I like you and all, but you're still a spymistress. Nothing personal." You say.

"Of course. I'd be insulted if you didn't act paranoid and cautious." She smiles at you.

"Although, most of that stuff is already going into the public history books. Or comes straight from elven archives anyway. Or is currently awaiting translation by someone who is part dragon. Though it's quite odd you don't want us knowing which, that's certain to play havoc with Ambrose's records." You say.

She nods. "Kind of the point. If people knew what I was researching, then they'd think they know what I'm doing and there's a chance they could be right. But if they don't know, I can make sure that they're wrong." She smiles. "I love my work."

>>25672749
"So, lets do this thing!"

>>25672749
>Cover every book in the library with invisible dust that shows up under ultraviolet light or something so we know what she touched

>>25672749
"Okay, okay, enough of that, you'll give me a headache. Let's just get you to your work so you can do your thing, and then we'll discuss getting you a library pass."

>>25672868
>already the crazy plots appear
I KNEW this would give us a headache

We should switch around all the names of the books so that even though we don't know what she knows about what we know, she won't know about what she has that we know.

>>25672749
do library cards exist?

If they do, I have to insist she gets one made.

>>25672868

Easier solution:

Cover books in chocolate.

That way, we can tell if anyone has touched the books due to fingerprints. Also, the library will smell of chocolate instead of musty tomes.

>>25672970
I'm pretty sure we can just sniff out which books she was using.

Few things beat the old snauser in information gathering.

Actually

How will we know what she'll return if we don't know what she's getting?

>>25673054
that's my main problem, yes.

>>25672897
This sounds like a Leviathan plan if I ever heard one.

It means that we don't know what she knows, but at the same time she knows that we know that she doesn't know what she wanted to know that we know. It's perfect!

>>25673054
>>25673095
Let's just find ALL the books we have, wait until she takes hers, then check which books remain, and we will know from that which books she took.

"Okay, okay, enough of that, you'll give me a headache. Let's just get you to your work so you can do your thing, and then we'll discuss getting you a library pass." You say.

"Alright...testing testing."

-Can you hear me?- The words pop into you head. It's so...strange. You didn't HEAR them, but your brain is telling you that you just did. Like the words just skipped the ear drum part. It's not telepathy, just...weird.

-Okay. Setting up to widen the area, and turning it off so I don't deafen you when I get th- She nods as she fiddles with the flute.

"All good?" She asks as Wagon pulls to a stop in front of the jail.

You nod.

"Great. Hang around. I'll see what I can get." She says, and goes inside to see the Prisoners.

A moment passes, you all shift and wait, utterly bored. Peri is just about to take out her cards when words pop into your brain.

-It'll be easier to deal with you if you stop being so foolish and eat. Also, we need to know when and how to expect Kingfisher to present his request to negotiate your ransom. I'd hate to kill the messenger.- Jesse-May says. She keeps nattering on and on about mindless things, protocol that she repeats, and half-hearted amateur attempts to be friendly.

-Please, please say something. Anything, I need to tell them that I'm getting somewhere. I know you understand me.-

-{When will you shut up you stupid cow?}- A male voice says. -{Ugh, not that it matters. Cai, I am going to make you pay so dearly for this humiliation. You know the Kingfisher puts up our ransom records? I had nothing! Nothing! Oh, good, she's nodding. Go away, stupid tree woman, preening fools. You think I'm telling you anything? Yes, I'm going to nod and gesture now and point to the food. Then shove it away and hold my stomach, as if I'm in pain and...collapse into a corner. Heh. Idiot. Still, your slop smells better than home. Probably tastes better than the Clay. I should move it tonight, just to make sure it's secure.}-

>>25673110
The Logistics of this sound horrifying.

You've never been a librarian have you?

if we're going to go that level of "hue" we might as well go ahead and switch all the book covers like
>>25672897
suggeted

>>25673132
some sort of alternate, dirt-based foodstuff?

I am confused and intrigued.

>>25673132
"Moving something tonight, to make sure it's secure. Calls it "The Clay". Also Kingfisher posts their Ransom records, we need to make his significantly higher or lower than Cai's, whichever is more embarrassing."

>>25673132
Time to move our prisoners around and do a full cavity search tonight. Along with searching their old cells.

>>25673266
The first part is common sense, but that second part is great.

>>25673132
so, from what I gather, he's faking hunger. Is that it? Has some kind of alternate secret nourishment?

>>25673323
>full cavity search
I'm little surprised we didn't do that already.

"Moving something tonight, to make sure it's secure. Calls it "The Clay". Also Kingfisher posts their Ransom records, we need to make his significantly higher or lower than Cai's, whichever is more embarrassing." You say.

"You talking to Jesse-May?" Peri asks.

"Do Whisper Flutes work that way?" Mage asks.

-Got it...hold on. Need to call in a minotaur guard then.- You 'hear' a response. -I'll see if I can't get something from a serious room toss. Slit open mattress and everything.-

-Got it, clever bastard was using a bandage to tape it to the outside wall through his window. Risky but clever.- There's another pause. -What the hell IS this stuff?- She asks. -Smells like shoe leather...huh...kind of is. Clever. So this is how they do that food trick to gain power back over on their side from their captors...okay.-

-"So, anything else to say? Or should I leave you to your hunger strike?" You hear Jesse-May prosper laugh. -You know, you're barely worth the trouble. I think I'll just lump your ransom in with Cai Wei Zhu's. Since you're both pretty much the same." She says. "Put him in solitary for two days. No food, we wouldn't want to disgrace him."

"Fine." He says. "You win, elf. But please don't try and taunt me with meaningless things like my ego or pride. They're only worth so much at the moment." He frowns. "You get one question."

"Were you he-" She starts but is interrupted.

"Not from you." He says. "You think I don't know a whistle flute when I see it? Also, you cannot sing the song, but I know something that can. Now, is it the jewel bird, or the serpent?"

Jesse-May sighs. "The serpent of course."

"Alright, she can ask me the question." The man says. {And you only get ONE serpent. I promise on my wings, no lies.}

>>25673586
> Now, is it the jewel bird, or the serpent

They're pretty good.

Lets not waste this question guys.

Can we go over what we already know?

>>25673586
let's ponder this a moment. What do we want out of these guys?

What I want is a meeting with the kingfisher out of them. I'd ask how to meet him. What else do we need to know? Let's get some priorities

>>25673586
"Hand him the flute for a moment."

{"Hello, little morsel."}

>>25673670
Fear games are meaningless right now.

>>25673670
>little morse
No. Please stop. It's clear they don't give a fuck at this point.

>>25673658
Anyways, meeting with the kingfisher is the big the thing really. But how we word this is also needs to be considered.

>>25673704
Do we want to be specific?

Or do we want a general question with a general answer?

Third option: Do we want to give him a leviathian tier question that cheats and makes him answer multiple things at once? I doubt we can fast-talk this one, but it might work

>>25673670
nah, enough of that. f'real.

>>25673586
"Oh, what I want out of them is really very simple. How do I get a meeting with the kingfisher? He seems like the man to talk to."

Can we agree on that question?

>>25673737
I feel like we're gonna meet with him eventually so that feels like a waste.

It might speeden up the pace though, which would be great.

Can we consult our party?

>>25673736
I'm thinking more specific. Something along lines of how we can get in contact with directly.

>>25673785
That's thing the sooner we can start talking to this guy the sooner we stop having spies and shit all over us... well at least from the one guy that seems to matter.

>>25673586
"How can I arrange a meeting with the Kingfisher, wherein we have a polite discussion on events, proceedings, perhaps even some friendly banter, and from which both of us walk away alive, healthy and unfollowed?"

>>25673808
>contact with him directly.

Even.

"How can I arrange a meeting with the Kingfisher, wherein we have a polite discussion on events, proceedings, perhaps even some friendly banter, and from which both of us walk away alive, healthy and unfollowed?"

-{Heh. Urk...}-

-Holy shit, he just took a deep breath, and his eyes rolled back and his nose is bleeding.- Jesse-May transmits.

-{You ask me in person.} A different 'voice' says.-

>>25674013
And with that I close for the evening. The next thread will be tomorrow, June 27th 4-6pm PST.

May His Light watch over you all.

>>25674033
Fair enough! Also Now we're getting somewhere!

So apparently we're talking to the kingfisher now. From what I gather.

We're talking through an elf who is talking through a spy to the kingfisher.

>>25674033
Keep achug-chug-chuggin' echo. thanks for the thread.

>>25674013
Neat. I was wondering how he instantly knew whenever one of his people was captured.

>>25679359
S'interesting, 'innit?

It also makes seperating their rooms basically pointless. Assuming, of course, they aren't killing themselves.

>>25683458
depends if the one he is communicating through is aware or not. They might need two agents together to open a channel to the Kingfisher... would explain why they want to get together in fact. To get orders.

>>25683654
ah, that might be true. Still, I'm of the mind that we've got our connection to kingfisher, we don't really need to drain the spies of much more info. Just whatever Jessie-may wants to get out of 'em.

Also, can I ask you to sage in thissun? The thread is long dead, no need to keep bumping it up. 'specially since there will be a new one today.

>>25686871