Met this dude on a course I did recently. Tall, lanky, gangly and pale. He wore a flat-cap and some sort of expensive parka, looked like it was made of a felt-like material. Also had glasses that seemed a little too small for his face. He didn't have facial hair. I'd rather say he had facial hairs. Two-inch long curly strands of dark hair sparsely scattered across his chin, his throat and his cheeks, each at least half an inch from any others. Also a little bit of acne but that was hardly his worse feature. There was a very faint odour of spoiled milk about him.

He invited me to a roleplaying club on Thursdays. I didn't end up going, not because of him but because of general laziness. A shame, as I need a source of gaming and nerdiness in my life.

So it wasn't that bad, compared to your experiences most likely.

I had it easy. Worst I experienced was being back to back with this morbidly obese guy during a MTG prerelease, since the shop was overcrowded. Whenever he played he slammed me into my own table, and my opponent tried to look at my cards, so I had to play my hand like a poker game. That's it, really. Oh, and the stench. I'm talking Nurgle level here.

>>25642806
Well, there was the one time playing mtg where one fa/tg/irl kept poking my dick while exclaiming "pooooooke" during a houserules 10 way game. This was bad because my at the time gf was sitting next to me, and the fight that ensued got my ex, myself, and two of our friends kicked out.

Really was fine by me, they were weeabo creeps anyhow. Catears, and tail, at the table? Not my kind of party.

I've never seen anything in real life that can compare to the 'opinions' and neckbearded grognardery on /tg/

>>25642806
Once I looked in the mirror.

>>25642806
Don't worry, he's wearing a micro-thong.

>does that make it better or worse?

Never have been able to find out the story behind that picture.

Seriously, that guy threads are one of /tg/s favorites. Where are you at, anon?

I was at GenCon one time, and there was this girl across from me who was very attractive, quite busty, very much in to my accent. She was American, so I was a little on my guard. At one point in one of the D&D events, I made an exaggerated "Nothing? NOTHING?!" to an NPC, and she stated "Tra-la-la?".

I was shocked, because Labyrinth. We chatted about silly things like the Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Labyrinth, Rocky Horror, and she turned out to also be well read. She liked Pratchett, she new classics like Triffids, it was a welcome change, and she was very attractive enough. I asked her if she prescribed to a given sexuality, she mentioned she was bi, so I took her to the bar, sat down with the first goth girl we met, and challenged her to a battle of the loins.

We had sex quite a lot that night.

The next day, I'm in another game with the American girl. She keeps missing her cue to take her turn, and she didn't get any of the jokes the rest of the party were making, or the GM. There was a trap in which her character had been given a solution to earlier when she succeeded a search and knowledge roll; it was a sort of illusion and there was an elemental key code based on the traps that were going off. She didn't get it. Everyone else OC knew exactly what to do. She didn't get it. She didn't get the heavy hints dropped to her.

I never felt so disgusted, it scarred me for life.

>>25642983
Maybe people have learned?

asdasdas

>>25642996
I weep for you friend. It's worse to meet the perfect mate then lose it than to never find one.

>>25643067
I agree, but also think the idea merits more examination before we act on it.

>>25642996
>challenged her to a battle of the loins
No, you've not had sex
Don't lie sir
>Captcha: oEngin 10-inch
Oh is he captcha? or is that but another of his lies?

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>>25642996

>>25643008
No, there's no way. One day, that guy finds you. And there's no avoiding it.

I would never dream of lying about such a trivial thing.

If you are in or around London on July 6th or August 6th I am happy to invite you along to Torture Garden to help you suspend your disbelief over how simple an act to perform sexual encounters are.

>capture Cougars unrule
indeed!

I went to Gen Con in 05 and saw the most horrifying thing. After a fun day with the bros taking in the con we headed out for some food. It was the night of the costume ball so lots of costumed nerds were about. As we headed towards a beer garden we saw on the way in one of the guys said, "Look at that!"

I responded, "What the dude with the two prosthetic legs?" pointing at said individual jogging by across the street.

"Nah, over here," replied my friend.

I believe my subconscious was trying to shield me from what I was about to behold by drawing my attention to the legless jogger, but alas my friend rent the veil assunder and I beheld Pregnant Princess Leia in the Gold Bikini. She looked like she was ready to squeeze out that kid at any moment, and the veins on her distended stomach were like a road map of hell itself. Worse still she was camwhoring it up for a couple of guys taking pictures.

To this day it haunts me...

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>>25643309
Eww

>>25643288
You sound like the most awfully irritating and unlikeable person
I'll be there, and I'll fuck you to deathm

>>25643309
That's no moon!

>>25643309
Jaz was with me one time at a convention over in America, she suddenly went pale and aghast like in The Scream.

There had been this noise that was a shnk shnk shnk... hard to describe, metal on metal, like a bag full of iron filings being shaken.

I looked over, and there were these three near identical obese women, about 4 foot wide each, wearing only a sheer veil, bra and panties, with gold coins on them. One blue, one green, one red. They had enough material for one normal person spread across the mass of 30.

Whenever Jaz annoys me, I go to the key rack and grab them all, and shake them slowly. It amuses me greatly

>>25643346
Esh-Esh described Wolf as a perfect gentleman but that could be because of the black dragon dildo

>>25643288
Oh fuck, is that the one in harlow?

I was playing D&D with my friends. We were all having tons of fun. One friend off-handily cracks a joke about one of my other friends being a furry. I had no idea. He wasn't a bad looking guy and he took things pretty seriously. Game went on as usual. I actually gained some respect for that friend since I'd run into some truly terrible furfags online. It was nice to meet one in real life that wasn't autistic and retarded.

On another note, I went with a friend to a TCG store so he could do some trading. I was never into trading cards. I just sat in the back of the room and browsed the tiny comic books section. Then the stench hit me like a thousand ton weight. In the center of the room (I don't even know how I missed it) were two land whales yelling around a table. My friend was at the opposite end of the room trading with one of his acquaintances. Fat landwhales awkwardly move towards friend and ask him if he'd like to trade. My friend didn't know who they were, but agreed to look through their stuff. He didn't want anything that they had, but he had plenty that they wanted. Cue two fat neckbeards whining and begging for my friend's cards. We move towards the door and bolt for his car.

>>25643375
At least those sheep(?) are cute.

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>>25643375
no amount of head trauma can make me unsee that.

cut my pnp teeth on RPGA living campaign when 3.0 first came out. There was a regular there who was grossly obese. We played every other saturdays and usually played two modules. In between each session, EVERYTIME, this monster would buy a whole loaf of bread, a package of some lunch meat and a half gallon of orange juice. I would sit with utter disgust as he would make sandwich after sandwich to eat the entire package of meat and whole loaf of bread and drink all of the orange juice within a span of 3 or so hours.

>>25643429
The on in July is on a battle ship on the Thames, the one in August is at the Angel Islington. The usual residence was Mass in Brixton.

>>25643288
-grabs him by the throat- back the fuck off!?!?

>>25643471
Ergh, I've attended one of their events before, dear lord never again

I lost friends of half a decade because they decided to turn our weekly gaming night into a passive-agressive power trip.
I tried so damn hard.

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>>25643469
>Eating 10-12 sandwiches in one sitting

>>25643494
Sadly it's the best "mainstream" regular event of that nature the UK has to offer; obviously things like private events in Brighton or Mayfair are better affairs.

Given this is a bad experience thread, why not share~

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>>25643467
how about this pic?

Also my worst thing. The time when some guy just took a shit in our fire-hole. To this day I cannot comprehend the thought process behind it... It was nearly as bad when as a kid I realized that the M&M's chocolate candy does melt in your hands

>>25642806
My worst 'that guy'
Well, to be honest, the only real 'that guy'

I mean, I know a couple of powergamers, but they play stuff competitively and actually beating them is the sweetest feeling (wargames, magic) and hell, i'm probably 'that guy' in RPGs, trying to take it a little too seriously etc. but that guy...

That guy is literally the most hugest (appropriate description requires grammar to disappear) thing i have even seen in the flesh. Like, twice the size of the OP pic at least. And his belly constantly hangs out. Neckbeard of the highest order, it is huge and he is simply the angriest, least fun to play against player i have ever seen.
Two most memorable instances are a couple of FNMs. So he just got back in to M:tG and basically had a starter deck, which was really really crappy, because starter deck, but i got bad draws and mana floods and he actually had me pretty locked down
>2 of my 3 creatures detained, other is an arbor elf
>he has swung for 7, i am on 7, he can keep me from being able to do anything next turn too.
>he is on 10
>armed and dangerous in hand
>draw
>madcap skills
>Arbor elf for 10

I thoght the table was about to hit me in the face. I was genuinely terrified of a table flip.

The other memorable thing is he scared one of the kids so bad they were hiding from him for the rest of an FNM after te kid beat him. Probably due to the fact he shouts, slams the table and generally gets really pissy whenever anything goes wrong, no matter how good his board position actually is. I've started praying for bad draws when i face him because i can handle losing not to deal with that shit.

He is so much 'that guy' my friend still knows him as nothing but 'that guy'

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>>25643375

>>25643654
>hoping to get bad draws
>being afraid of a landwhale

Don't be a pussy. What you need to do is beat him every single time, then complain about his shit attitude to the right people. If he's as much of an unlikeable shitstain as you make him out to be, soon enough more people will join in and hopefully get him banished.

>>25643008
I thought that. I thought i'd never had a 'that guy' incident and never would. then>>25643654
happened.

>>25643694
I'm no longer there so it's irrelevant to me now, but seriously, i feel like the dude would just snorlax body slam me and i wouldn't have time to get out the way because he's that fuckhueg

>>25643550
After an all night period of boozing while playing poker I was cordially invited to attend by a female friend of mine. I was enticed by the tales of lush, volouptous women and so I happily trotted off to her house. While waiting for her I continued my alcoholic consumption and when we finally left I was a bit worse for wear.. Upon entering in my lovely black suit I rapidly found a place to continue my drinking and mentally mark any women that seemed suited to my tastes.

My female friend had vanished somewhere (I later found she had been brutally fucked by a lesbian with a strap on in an alleyway) Any way I commenced my cool guy moves and made way to a female. I engaged her in small talk and it was going quite well until I heard the dreaded words. "OOOOH he looks like Vincent Vega" I was rapidly accosted by a landwhale in revealing clothes who managed to drive away my prey. She also drew additional blubbery creatures to herself who crooned over me. Now I'm not opposed to the occasional thick female but these things just no. It seemed they could sense my drunken state and had marked me to be devoured.

I eventually escaped their clutches but not before I had been felt up my many blubbery trotters. My spirit broken and feeling violated I skulked back to a corner and continued drinking.

I ended up talking to this anorexic paranoid schizo chick about ghosts and shit.

When I eventually left I witnessed one of the obese eldritch horrors being banged, as I walked passed she crooned out a greeting of hello vincent before a torrent of vomit exited her mouth onto my rather expensive shoes

And that was my experience of the torture garden

>>25642934
worse. much much worse.

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>>25643375
I always think about that girl, walking upstairs, not knowing what is there waiting...

We had what we thought was a furry sit at our table. He as a strange man with a fairly bad smell about him. He had what looked kind of like a fur suit on under his clothes, so we attributed the smell to that. About an hour in we notice that the plush animal he had been carrying about had a hole in the bottom, and not for puppetry. We noticed this when it fell over and an even worse stench wafted about the table than before.

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>>25643375
You know how to make a boy feel pretty, magyar LARPfag!

>>25643772
Oh my God. That's comedy gold. I can see her face actually fill to the brim with terror. She just nods her head in despair and walks back down the stairs.

>>25642806
The mirror.

Not everyone on /tg/ is a normalfag like you OP.

>>25643309
BUt a mostly naked pregnant chick is really sexy? What the fuck, that's like entry-level /d/.

>>25643375
not much to censor

>>25643826
People, threads and stories like these are probably why it's quite hard to get to know girls while playing Magic or Shadowrun and you just run into them by chance. It's a shame, it is.

>>25643878
Listen, We're not saying that we hate people who are fat, some of the more respectable people at my LGS are 350+. It's the problem with a complete surrender of all things that make you hygenic, such as bathing, not wearing the same clothes week after week, not brushing teeth, etc. This is half of the 'that guy' stories here, the other half are about try hards, sore losers, and people who sexually harass. If you fit any of this, then you should realize it's an issue that you should correct. If not, then carry on, as you're probably just like everyone else here.

>>25643754
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNwkJ6Nf_OY&t=1m20s

Unfortunate experience, though it's one you can experience anywhere as far as chub interception; it was over in the States that I learnt very early on even in bars to just tell the people outright I'm not interested, and I'm in the middle of something.

Or just have a non-discriminating friend

>>25643471
Holy shit, some sort of BDSM club night on the HMS Bristol? Holy shit I so want to go but I can't as on that weekend I have to dress up in silly clothes, march down a country road, and then fire a cannon.

BDSM isn't enough to draw me to a fucking monopoly board though.

I guess I got lucky. Pretty much all of the people I play with are either clean shaven or have well maintained facial hair and none were overweight (some were even /fit/izens apparently). Couple fat chicks but they're the kind that you know could be 8+ if they hit the gym and had a better diet.

Worst I've seen with this guy with dark yellow zombie teeth. Seriously his teeth were all fucking rotting away looked like he had done meth. It was so strange because he actually looked somewhat dapper when his mouth was closed and was a total bro. He says his teeth were the way they were because of his days back when he was addicted to MMOs he at and drank a constant stream of Mountain Dew and candy bars.

>>25643523

anon, can you give some examples? I think I might be currently in the same boat that you were in.

>>25643523
what do you mean exactly?

>>25644023
Eeeyup, that'll do it.

For similar reasons, though my teeth are all functional and reasonably healthy they LOOK like I prised them out of a mouldering skull.

I always think of this guy I met at a local hobby shop about 5 years ago when I picture "that guy". I hadn't played MtG in years but a friend from HS wanted me to come draft with him. Good reminder of why I don't get too hardcore on this scene

Late 20s, fat, balding with a curly mullet, 5' 4", black trenchcoat, walked with a cane in one hand, a "treasure chest" on wheels in the other hand, sort of like a luggage bag full of cards and figurines. He was loud as fuck during the draft and talked like he knew everything about comic books, mtg, wh40k. Bragged about how often he was fucking his new gf when we went out for a smoke. It was sad because it looked like all the teenagers thought this guy really had his shit together.

>>25642996

You blew it dude.

Who the fuck cares if she doesn't "get" DnD?

>>25644126
I think he's just joshin' ya

>>25644169
>>25644126
No, it was simply that she turned out to be quite mentally dull once you've exhausted the pop-culture references and book jokes.

It was entirely on me for having leapt at it without proper vetting to show off.

>>25644217
ooooh I've had that happen before. Hot chick who studied up on her so fahnny nerd references to not seem shallow in front of the geeks but then turns out to be just another shallow passive girl stereotype.

Man I swear if some of the girls in my group just worked out a bit.. unf..

>>25643754
>I later found she had been brutally fucked by a lesbian with a strap on in an alleyway

Yeah, I'm going to need details on this one.

Also, I kinda wish I knew about this place when I was in London last month. It might have been interesting to go.

>>25644217

>sexually attractive
>DTF
>"mental vetting"

you're missing out on life if you keep up this behavior.

>>25644217

So you're regretting how you managed to find an attractive girl that was interested in not only fucking you mere hours after conversation, but willing to do a threesome?

And the main thing that made you annoyed at her was being inept at DnD?

Dude, you really need to get your priorities straight if you're putting competitive DnD over easy ass. Hell, not just that, but easy ass *that's willing to read up on your lame nerd culture just to impress you.*

>>25644425
Vell she was walking kinda like a crab the next day, I couldnt stop laughing, this girl is tiny and she showed me roughly how big this strap on was. It was like my entire fore arm

>>25643956
I'm technically the non discriminating friend, problem is I don't know someone who fucks what I don't want to fuck

>>25644491
No I think he was talking about how the whole reason he wanted to be with her was gone in the morning.

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Lets See.
back when i was a college going nerd, i frequented that local gaming club there. Real nice people, good community, really helped people along. Some of the girls there too, Mmf.
Now, there was a fella there, Taller than me, and thrice as wide. This guy? Was a Troll. Not really the meme-spewing kind, but the kinda guy that caan get under someone's skin if He wanted to. He was good at it, but, as i found out? A real nice guy that charles.
>Because.
There was a weekly Exalted game. Populated by neckbeards, and lanky sticks of men, which were as loud as brian blessed and stank to high heaven. These gentlemen also didnt take too kindly to visitors, during their game in the room that they may have scheduled, but is still a community room, with a buy in fridge. They actually look at you, disdainfully, if you are coming in to buy a few cans of sodas for the WoDbros downstairs. From the clubs fridge, that the club pays for, and sells at Low prices (buy in bulk, sell somewhat above cost, everyone prospered.) They were pricks.

Charles, being the troll that he was, Joined said game to troll those godkin. Troll he did.

>>25643309
/d/ here, we'd like to see those pictures

>>25644585

Ah, so a pump n' dump that didn't quite make it to a clean dump.

>>25642996
I read that in a british accent for some reason

I thought I was a randy motherfucker for making my girls play strip Magic and stacking the deck, but you guys and your pursuit of ass is more autistic than the worst, unbathed DnD nerd.

>B-buh sex isn't autistic!

It is when you value it over everything else in your life. I'd much rather have an ugly chick who was interesting and could conduct herself in accordance with my hobbies.

>>25644657
B--b-but I have a loving girlfriend who I did not pursue for ass

>>25644540
Lesbian friend of mine came back one time beet red, and couldn't stop giggling for a day because of very much the same thing; I still crack up at it! We were outside Candy Bar while this woman was ranting about how she's a pony, and how she'll go to some club with a horse dildo and a tail buttplug. She was who she disappeared with that night.

But yeah, sometimes you can't avoid having to just be rude at people who are interrupting you; they started it.

>>25644443
>>25644491
Women are interested in sex too. There's no "manage" about it; just going to conventions will expose you to "easy ass". With regards to priority, I like to think that intelligent companionship is better than flings

>>25644636
I do indeed have a British accent, fairly deep!
>>25644585
/thread

>>25644728
Oh god my sides. Are you a UK bro then wolf?

Worst I've seen is a /d/M, back before I knew what one of those was, who had what I can only describe as a fetish for transgendering, lesbians, lesbians being fucked by guys disguised as women, pregnancy, and describing the mating habits of non-human, non-humanoid creatures that shouldn't even have genitals, by the canon of their own home universe, because they're a member of an insect-like colony headed by a single queen.

He honestly thought he was doing right by everyone, too, which makes it take a turn from creepy, off-roading straight into sad.

>>25644684
Then I wish you all the happiness.

I've had a grilfriend before. Several in fact. After my last break up, which wasn't an abyssal revolution in learning how to feel despair again, I decided to simply take a few years before running off to get into another relationship and take some time to develop myself and invest in my hobbies.

People point and cry "forever alone" and "autistic" because I'd rather be happy than laid? It's frustrating.

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>>25642918

>>25642806
Well, I've got a story, but it was actually a pair of people.

So we've been running our games in our local area organizing them through meetup.
Theres about a dozen games going on each week and they've all been setup through the meetup site.

Anyway, one of our players had to move away from work, he'd been with us two years, it was sad, we had a great final game with him and threw a big going away party, about 75 people showed up from our meetup group, to send him off since he was one of our longest members, and had played and run for many of us.

Anyway, he's gone, but now our group needs a new member, so we mark that our group is looking for one more, we get a couple emails in. In fairness we took the first one to reply, told the rest if they didn't work out, next fastest reply would be given a try.

Normal group policy is that you're allowed to bring a guest with DM approval, as long as they don't distract or detract from the game. They can even play if the DM is ok with it, several of our groups have couples that play.

So we see this guy signs up for our next game with a +1 by his name, we're all, sure should be fine. He tells us they're not coming to play, just to watch and be there with him. Alright, whatever, it's an 8 hour session, if they're cool with it.


Day of the game, 1:00 P.M. all our group is there except the new guy, 1:10, he says, sorry, my other held me up a couple minutes, be there in 5.

1:20 he pulls up in a nissan maxima. With him, is this appearantly 50 year old woman.

His mother, he brought his mother with him, to play Pathfinder.

We're all still inside waiting mostly patiently at the table, now very worried.

They knock, he introduces himself, she says, "Hello, I'm Micheal's mother, I'm here to make sure this game is appropriate for him."

Micheal appeared to be in his mid 20's. Seemed normal enough, but he had his mom with him.

This lady fucking ruined our game that day, she wouldn't play, wouldn't learn..to be continued

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>>25644836
>I've had a girlfriend before.
>Several in fact.

>>25644764
britfag indeed; I have to pop off right now though, people to keep company.

If you're around in Esh-Esh's next give away we can chat then

>>25644934
I didn't say they were smart or attractive, did I?

Give a little attention to lonely, fat, equally unhygienic girls and they'll bend over backwards to cook and clean for you.

>>25644934
Not him but I seriously don't get the fuzz about that.
If you're in the 95% of the population, chances are you'll have one or two steady partners (that's to say 1+ year together) in your lifetime. And that's statistics, mang. /tg/ has a big number of lurkers/posters, and the general age in this board is a bit higher than the rest of 4chan. So, chances are you've all had a steady relationship or two at this point.
Unless you're That Guy. Then fuck you. You'll be That Guy even if you switch hobbies or whatever. At this point, it's engraved in you.

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>>25643309
How bad could it be?

Never mind...

We should have let Stalin take over Bongland

>>25645008

Coming from a lot of experience of boards like /fit/ and /tv/, though they might have more socially acceptable hobbies they enjoy, they are enjoyed alone and there's no need to interact. Thus there are endless >tfw when no gf threads of /fit/ and hundreds of virgins on /tv/.

At least with this hobby people are forced into an interactive situation, face to face, with other human beings. Statistically, actually interacting with other people vastly increases your chances of having sex or getting a girlfriend.

>>25644911
So, the session begins.

At the time, our group had taken out a small army of aboleths occupying a giant floating castle in the sky.

As our DM is describing the situation, Micheal's mother interjects, "I don't know about you, but last time I checked, castles don't fly."

"Well, this one does, because it has magic fueling it."
"Well, whatever, go on." Says Micheals mother, as if our DM needed her permission to continue, he was aghast, half the table was mortified. Worst still was poor Micheal, I can't imagine what his life is like, but with a loving mother like that, damn.

Half an hour into the game, Micheal's character is about to be introduced, he was a prisoner kept by one of the aboleths as a personal servant.
Micheal's mother interjects, "My boy would do no such thing! I told him your game would be awful like this!"

Appearantly, we're not the first group he's gone to with his mother. I can't imagine why he was looking for another, who would refuse to allow this guy to show up again?

About 2 hours into the session, I can tell our DM is at his limit, we got through a minor combat with an aboleth straggler, and some it's dominated servants. This should have taken us maybe 10 minutes, but she kept saying it was too violent, and her son shouldn't be playing this. He kept quietly arguing with her, and she'd relent for about 5 minutes.

One of our members, she works as a clerk for a small attourney's office around here, on her off days, she tends to wear shorts and shortsleeve shirts because it's friggin hot in Texas, she's actually pretty hot, but she already has a fiancee so she's off limits. She was playing an elf witch, Micheal's mother interjects, "See Micheal, I told you this stuff is bad for you, that tramp is using witchcraft. Micheal, I've had enough, we're leaving!"

Almost done. Probably should have typed this in advance.

I actually don't have many That Guy stories.

I do, however, work at the local Renaissance Festival and have 12 years worth of crazy stories that, I guess, are /tg/ related if you're willing to hear them.

>>25645098
Are you kidding? we always love story time!

>>25645098
I'm making popcorn, so I'll check this thread every 3 minutes or so, and I expect to see stories about those festival days, anon.

>>25645072
This is absolutely correct, to the surprise of many elegan/tg/entlemen who lack confidence.

Our nerdy hobbies are not a bad way to meet nice girls at all, though the competition may be a bit high depending on the hobby. MTG playing girls get a lot of highly competitive men running after them, but the RPG crowd is much more balanced in this regard.

Best women are often met trough shared hobbies. This is often said about more conventional activities, but it applies to /tg/ stuff as well just fine. Finding good women in bars and other typical PUA locations where misguided people go to look for the opposite sex just doesn't happen, not even to the supposed alpha males.

>>25645088

Wow, clerky flipped a shit, she just went off the deepend right there, she plays with us because she likes to escape from real life and is a damn good roleplayer. But to have some stranger come into our group, call her a tramp, and accuse her of witchcraft, I hit the deck.

Clerky blew up on Micheal's mother, some of the things she said were so offensive, I don't dare repeat them. She then turned on Micheal and chewed him out for being such a pussy, told him to move out from his parent's house, and all that sort of thing.

After about 5 minutes of this tirade, our DM tried to calm her down. He told Micheal and company it was best that they leave. Micheal, looked like a puppy that had been kicked down a flight of stairs, then punted out the window at the landing.

He slowly gathered up his things in silence, while clerky glared eye lasers at Micheal's mother who just kept huffing while standing by the door.

Micheal spoke up, "I'm sorry I ruined your session"
He gave our DM $20 and said he was going to buy pizza for us later, then walked out the door with his mother following at his shoulder talking down to him.

He left our meetup site group 2 days later.

that mom story complete.

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>>25642934
I've seen it uncensored, he actually has a micro dick not a thong.

Why do I know this ;_;

>>25645124
>>25645147

Alright then, here we go.

The first is called "Xena". So, I've been a lot of roles, at the fair, but at least a couple of them have me sitting with the rest of the court, in the royal pavilion. So, there we all are, when my friend, a lord, leans over and nudges and points outside of the pavilion. There we spy a vision that has been burned into many of our brains. It was a woman or woman-like creature wearing nothing but furs and hides.... but not enough, DEAR MERCIFUL ODIN, NOT ENOUGH. She had to have been wearing two cows worth of leather and it just wasn't enough to cover the parts that absolutely needed covering. She was that immense and unsuited to the outfit. Henceforth, we called her and others like her, Xena. Now, when we mention the name, we all shiver a bit, like when people mention Voldemort, in Harry Potter.

>>25645193
Keep scrolling.

>>25644911
>>25645088
>>25645185

There's no way thats real, I refuse to believe that there is a person out there, that is a member of the D&D community, that brings his mother to a fucking gaming session.
And he lives in Texas? I thought you texans all had big balls or something like that. Shit, I just lost a little bit of respect for Texas, if this is real.

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>>25645211

>I saw a fat girl at a Renaissance fair who was under-dressed.

You need to try much harder.

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>>25645193
Well derp the uncensored version was already posted by the time I scrolled to the bottom

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1/3

>>25645182
You're implying women can't also be competitive cunts?

That's something that's bothered me immensely at every game I've played. No matter where I go, what I'm playing, or how good I am, having tits makes me casual.

>>25645193
>micro dick
A tree is just as tall even if it is buried in an avalanche.

>>25645234
That sounds pretty typical of people who try to reach outside of religious communities. Their authority figures hang on for life, and not just for childhood.

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>>25645272
2/3

I joined my college's gaming group, which hosts Camarilla games for World of Darkness and thus has a number of non-college students. I didn't know this when I first joined, and expected a handful of slightly obese 20 somethings who like to pretend to be vampires. Instead, my first impression of the group was of two 40-something, poorly washed neckbearded men who are 3-4 times my size. One chain smokes and the other has something where he can't tell when something is inappropriate or not. Add in the fact that I'm a college going girl, and you get a mess of awkward.

My Changeling character had her emotions manipulated to temporarily fangirl over chain smoker, and I had to blankly stare at Commander Inappropriate for saying something along the lines of "a familiar hand slips some money in your pocket." I don't have to deal with Smoker in my troupe game, and Commander Inappropriate is probably going to get booted from that, because he was harassing another girl. (The girl's friend tried to diffuse the situation in character by sending him on patrol, and the resulting chain of events is likely going to kill half the larp group's characters.)

But sometimes I feel like things could be worse, so I try not to complain.

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>>25645282
3/3

>>25644911
>>25645088
>>25645185

That is...damn, yay for that clerky chick, she's got more balls than me, I would have just sat there in silence hoping they would leave.

>>25645211

Next up, the tale of Penis Extrovert and the Holy Cockring.

Years back, there was this complete jackass of an individual named Michael. Michael was hyper, obnoxious, and more than kind of stupid. His fair name was Pelis Erovert or some shit like that. It was retarded, so we called him Penis Extrovert. Anyway, there was also this creepy mug vendor at the fair, who looked like the poster boy for pedophilia. Well, these guys got to talking one day and the vendor ended up giving Penis a cockring. I repeat, he gave the guy a cockring. Who fucking does that? Was it handed down through generations and carved from the family tree that was struck by holy lightning? Penis then proceeded to tell EVERYBODY that he got this cockring and how. It was disgusting and embarassing. That same year, he was cut from fair for being a jackass and then claimed he joined the navy. He also later claimed that he married a a girl from the irish navy. I repeat, irish navy. If you don't know why that's retarded, then look it up.

>>25645273
Well, in this case I was referring to competitive as in competitively fighting over the attention of women, but I can't deny that the prejudice you refer to exists.

>>25645273
Not the guy you're talking to, but in my experience it swings to extremes with you gals.
A past girlfriend of mine loved playing stuff just to win, and she was a monster trying to achieve her goals. Our risk games were the seed of many arguments between our group; we never should have told her how to play heroclix nor mtg, since she berated players all the time when she hit someone with Ironman (of all clix) and she cried rivers when her heavy hitter was outwitted because he was far away from the rest of her team. In MtG she just flipped cards when I played control (my fault, I guess), and left the game if someone played combo.
Other girls I've known played very casually, enjoying the experience of being with a group of friends but without really getting hooked at the games.
I've yet to find my ideal woman, one that can play a munchkin match and end it without hard feelings.

>>25644911
>>25645088
>>25645185
They had to be southern baptists. No other religion is that fucking stupid, or dense. People like that disgust me, I get that there's a point to Christianity, but when people lose that point and become baptists. FUCK, just FUCK.

I hope Micheal kills his mother, it will be a catharsis for them both.

>>25643471

So it's basically BDSM London Below Market?

(Not that London Below isn't BDSM on its own.)

>>25645185
goddamn. Wut.

I feel sorry for that dude. so bad.

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>>25645384
>I hope Micheal kills his mother, it will be a catharsis for them both.
I feel that you've crossed some line there.
I really do. But they're just words.

>>25645328

This one involves drunk slutty women but still ties in nicely.

So, I'm working down at the joust field and we have three knights; the good knight, the evil knight, and the arrogant knight. At the last joust of the day, they all get to travel to the audience and receive a favor from one of the "maidens" in the crowd. When it came time for the evil knight to receive his favor, the drunkest blonde comes stumbled down the bleachers and up to the fence. The evil knight likes to tease the women by moving his lance around, so they can't put the favor on it immediately. It's incredibly phallic and sexual which was obvious to even the drunk blonde, who then proceeds to grab the lance and put the tip in her mouth so she can fellate the lance. This would've just been a wild fluke except we all knew the lance had been sticking in a pile of horse shit earlier in the day, so this just became gross as all hell. Luckily, the evil knight plays it off by telling her to come by the stables after the joust, in a joking way. Still, only at my fair would a drunken blonde try to deepthroat a shitty lance.

>>25645272
Now, say what you will.
But the idea of perfectly made baby factories of jessica rabbit looking ladies who cant run that well, especially after they need to be transformed into that, Little hot.
I chatted with a girl about that picture once, showed her it, and then she Begged me to run a little side rp to that vein.
Long story short, human kingdom was dominating the other races with an endless stream of new recruits and powerful mages. In some ways more than one, and i left with a happy smile on my face.

>>25643535
This. Went to one regional nerd-con with a carload of friends of mine, went to a restaurant inside the hotel we were staying at, same place as the con itself, with two, three other friends.

We walk to the back and, on our way in, we pass another friend of ours, that had come with us. He's sitting alone, with a table full of(two or three of them, at least) appetizers, each meant to be for four people.

He then went on to drag me into a pony-themed game of Token Effort.

>Captcha: please nstoplea
I was, in fact, begging for it to stop, Captcha, you are entirely correct.

>>25644593

Do continue, good sir.

>>25645383
I'm a female, and I play semi-competitively. My ex was highly competitive, and he taught me how to play, though he didn't believe in teaching by degrees.

So I had a very basic, and very out of format green deck a friend had given into me ages ago to coax me into playing with him. It was pretty simple elves 'n big creatures. Looking back it seems very obvious to play, but everything about it eluded me.

And my ex broke out his competitive current format red/black 'kill everything on sight' deck.

"Uhm, I play... this elf"
"Lightning bolt"
"...oh, okay, I play thi-"
"Doom Blade"
"I-"
>some other inane counter that prevented me from doing anything
>his turn wipes me out on one go with ridiculous combo I don't understand
"Are you even trying?"

I grew to hate red. HATE it. To this day I still hate it and, if given a choice, don't play against it. I'll be completely honest and say I was a little bitch about it for a long time. I would flat out refuse to play against it, and if someone insisted on playing it I'd get up and walk the fuck out. I was very immature like that. I've become more zen and taking my anal pillaging like a man.

there was also one time where my ex and I marathoned Magic games all day after going 50/50 on the new core set. 2011, I think. He made a vampire deck that basically was 'no fun allowed'. In a rage after losing literally thirty games, grabbed one of his better cards and ripped it in half. Cunty and immature? Absolutely. I admit that, apologized, and got him another. He gave me the deck as penance for raping me with it

>>25645622
Sadly, that is all i know of the tale, having only heard from charles saying he joined that game to troll those players (as they only ever appeared for that game really, but most of the 'old guard' knew of them. and frowned at the memory)

All i have of them, if seeing those sour looks while trying to get food, and that smell and sound.

>>25645384
>probably grew up in a southern baptist home
>probably had fantasies about killing his own controlling mother

>>25645653
>Can't beat Red
>Semi-competetive

No. Come back when you can play magic. Or just play Timely reinforcements or Chill or something, it's not hard.

Jund though, Jund is a bitch to play against.

>>25645653
I've had those moments of anger against me while i puth together a random deck from ages past and played against my brother who'd been playing again. Huh, deja vu, i remember typing this out.

Anyway, I got mana screwed the first round, and then won the new two. I hadnt played in Years. He was understandably peeved. I still dont really play anymore, i get too far lost when people start listing out the names of cards and decks, kinda the same way with LoL, people i knew played the shit out of it, but it never interested me. But to each their own right?

>>25645716
A) She was learning at the time.
B) That was with a out of date Green deck.

>>25645736
Sure, to start with.

But hating it once you've learned the basics is pretty dumb. The only red most people play is lightning bolt anyway.

>>25645185
I thought I had it tough, poor guy.

>>25645653
>>25645653
Didn't you share your story a couple of days ago on a mtg general thread?
Either you did or there's a trend with couples, BR using exes and couples splitting.
Glad to see you're taking the game more lightly now. Can't say I actually understand how someone would get so carried as to rip a card, but I guess we all express our passion in different ways.

I replace lands with pokemon energies on my friends decks, or stick silly drawings on their end-game cards. Childish as hell, but it doesn't disrupt anything, and we usually have a laugh about it.

>>25645185

did you guys get the pizza?

>>25645716
This is all past-tense story telling, love.

I didn't say Can't. I said I hate it. I think it is the bitchiest of all colors. I'd rather be Jace'd and out right steamrolled by blue than have red sit there for 5 turns telling me "You're not allowed to do anything" because they destroy any spell on sight.

I actually did beat his black/red with my won black/blue, and he threw and absolute tantrum. New Phyrexia had just come out and I threw together a poison deck, just to try it out.

It was basically sodomy with a cheese grater, how butthurt he was. He 'banned poison' in our house because it was 'unfair'.

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>>25644911
>>25645088
>>25645185
That right there is how serial killers are made.


Brave Sir Anon, I charge you with the task of liberating this "Micheal" from parental perdition.

>>25645827
but blue is the 'You can't do anything color'

red just kills you as fast as possible

What kind of bizzaro meta do you play in?

>>25645677

Dammit, man, get Charles on here to tell it, then!

>>25645827
>Red
>Ever making it to turn 5

>>25645716
There's this custom at my place. We're all wizards and we enjoy the color pie and all the magics it has given us through the years. But whenever someone brings blue to a deck, no matter how small the splash is, we dub that wizard "The Blue Wizard", and we spend all the match asking him or her permission to cast our shit. Its the only way I've found to avoid fellow players to rage at "control", since they think that's all that blue has to offer.

I've been the bluest of blue wizards for a long time

>>25645884

For a while, red meta had a lot of shut down. They've been playing with the meta recently, funny as hell.

>>25645800
We actually grill some steaks or something when we take our dinner break at 6, our DM has a big backyard grill setup, and nothing like flame seared sirlions and a glass of iced tea gets you ready for another couple hours of D&D.
I think our DM pocketed the money and used it to buy drinks for the next couple of weeks for our game, we all wanted to forget about that as soon as possible.

>>25645827
tl;dr: you like to play creatures and hate the colour with the most abundant removal the same way many fa/tg/uys hate blue because they like to play big spells and hate the colour with the most disruption?

I don't really understand how you or the blue-haters could end up with so unflexible style preferences, but I can kind of see where you guys are coming from.

>>25645913
my nigga

Esper control master race

>>25645919
Red has no way to draw cards or interact with the stack, there is no way for it to be viable control. One for one trades are bad. It can be splashed for bolt and pyroclasm, that's about it.

>>25645940
The guy seemed okay, just needed to get off his mothers dick. He was nice enough to give you $20 and apologize.

>>25644911
>>25645088
>>25645185
I feel so bad for that guy.

>>25645948

Way back when (Urza's Saga had just come out to let you know), I had a red/blue 'fuck you' deck.

I managed to piss off everyone I played with with it, and ended up retiring it unless some tryhard popped in.

And then fucking echo ruined everything.

>>25645957
Thats what Clerky said to an extent, only much more loudly, and descriptively.

>>25645884
Well you're right, blue should theoretically piss me off a lot more. But red has destroy creature and destroy land. Something about the spell resolving and then being told "nope, I destroy it" is so much worse than being told "I deny you a chance to play."

The colors I main are green and white though. My frustration when I have 20 1/1 humans and "deal one damage to all non-flying creatures:' comes out. I just completely lose my shit.

The last set I was actively playing in was Dark Acsention, I lost my job after that and couldn't afford to keep playing. I have no idea what's the 'in' right now. Broke up with my ex after that too, on an unrelated note.

>>25646011
Tri-colored decks. Lifesteal, death by extortion.

>>25645948
First serious deck I made was UB artifact, I was fairly casual at the time so the deck performed either very well or was utter shit. I then switched to UW, fell in love with Jessian balmgiver and her shenanigans and in the end I reinvented both decks once I knew what the hell Esper was. Good old times.

>>25645957
I'm sure he eventually distanced himself from his family. There's no balance there, or they get sucked back into the religious batshit group they came from or they cut all ties and flee. If he was trying to get into DnD groups, I'm sure he packed and left after he reached the tipping point.

>>25646011
That's why WG has the biggest global +1/+1 interaction of all colors. WotC may be dickish, but they encourage and allow different playstyles.

>>25646011

Should've had more global enchantment cards.

>>25646011
I was about to suggest trying a third colour every now and then, but white should have the tools to adapt already. Try playing hatebears style white weenie a few times. There just isn't enough removal in the world to survive all the hate hate bears can put on the field, as long as you don't over-extend.

Learning not to over-extend is the first step in playing white. You should avoid emptying your hand if there is even a remote chance your opponent has a sweeper coming.

My favourite decks are in red, white and RW, so I can adapt to removal-heavy and disruption-heavy environments by shifting the focus between red and white archetypes so I don't really develop that kind of frustration towards strategies that trump mine in the rock-paper-scissors of magic.

>>25646106
>>25646120
I do in my white deck now. It's a neigh unstoppable token behemoth. Not only that, it's about 3/4s Soldier tokens and the rest are Bird/Gryphon. It make everyone at the casuals shit themselves.

I live in a small town. There's the big comic store up in the big city where there's tourneys all day erry day, which I don't go to anymore. And there's the local, small town scene that was weekly parties at someone's house. Usually mine. It tastes pretty casual, and a lot of them are high school kids with more money than sense , but we have a few behemoths that can make you sweat.

Which is why I said 'semi' competitive. I don't feel like anything I've done since the Avacyn block qualifies as competitive. I'll bounce back though, if I can land a job.

>>25646194
escort

>>25642996
no lvl 9 shenanigans for you mundane pleb
~the wizard guild

>>25646194

Well, good luck on that.

>>25646143
Funny enough, overextending is why I don't play Red much. I would play my whole hand on turn one and then be stuck drawing from the top of the deck and getting screwed. So if I do play red I try to splash it with something that's more attrition based, the stuff I already play with.

I don't mind red/green for shenanigans. I can't make it work competitively, but I have a werewolf deck that's pretty silly to play against.

>>25645827
>boyfriend is supposed to be competitive
>bans infect in your house

my sides

you do know competitive means actually playing at a competitive level, not just getting butthurt when you lose right?

>>25646350
Dude, it means both of those things.

The latter everywhere, and the former mostly in MTG slang.

>>25645035
>that feel when that column, crowd flow, carpet, and position of that tiny wall in the backgroun are enough to tell you exactly where that picture was taken.

Oh my god, maybe I am OCD or autistic.

>>25646419
That seems like a pretty distinctive carpet and pillar. If I spent a lot of time in whatever building that is I'd probably recognise them too. Now, if it's a building you've only been in once and you still managed to memorise the floor, pillars and overall layout, *then* you might have a problem.

>>25646419
Also the year and probable time of day, but that's easy due to the little corner of the guy's badge and knowing what hour of the day most of the more scantily clad costumes come out. Hint: Night.

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>>25644911
>>25645088
>>25645185

>pair of tits posts
>thread derailed

shit like this makes me want to buy a fedora

>>25646350
I am aware of the term's implications. He played competitively long before I met him, and probably still does. He's the kind of person who only gets enjoyment out of anything if he has crushed everyone and is the best at everything.

He played differently at home and at tourneys. Most of the time it was against him, it was at home, where he was the only judge. He got to make all the house rules because I didn't know better. Once I had a good enough understanding to call his bullshit he didn't want to play with me anymore.

90% of the fights in that relationship could have been solved by knowing an official judge.

>>25642893
I used to be in a game where the GM was basically /tg/'s shitty opinions and grognardery in human personification.

Games were sparse back then and he had a loft where we played at so I stuck it out for an entire year.

>>25646557
>/tg/'s shitty opinions and grognardery in human personification.
how does that work exactly? everytime I attempt to comprehend such a creature my mind splits from the opposing views on everything such a beast must hold

Nothin special, but I can never stand when people walk out or the GM closes the session because of someone gets passive-aggressive. I really hate that.
Whatever happened to talking things out?

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>>25645384
Man, I'm a Southern Baptist. I'm going to probably eventually become a preacher [or theology teacher. Something].

That lady was a dumbass. I mean its not like half the Cleric spells in D&D are miracles by any other name, or as though as the long history of Christian men-at-arms [Knights/Paladins] were a major part of the inspiration for the fighting classes.

I mean really, 1. Its fantasy, 2. Its fantasy where the *best* alignment, Lawful Good, is just Judeo-Christian ethics with pagan deities.

That and this guy was beta as fuck. In conclusion.

1. The clerk probably was immodest, but thats no reason for the mom to be a dick. And the *witchcraft* was fake.

2. Micheal needs to man up. This guy sounds like something people I know would spit up.

3. The mom has no concept of fantasy, no concept of games, and no concept that she's a domineering imbecile.

>>25646616
Cognitive dissonance is over-emphasized most of the time. People routinely hold completely mutually exclusive beliefs without noticing anything out of the ordinary as long as those beliefs are applied in unrelated activities or there is a social incentive to holding them both.

>>25646457
I'm like 95% sure that's the Hyatt Regency in Atlanta, know that's Dragon Con in 2007 since that was my first badge the dude back there is wearing, and that's on the Ballroom floor, and given how all the people in the backgoround are going one direction and it sort of looks like there's a wall that ends abruptly behind them I think they're near the escalators down to the exhibit level and that's the atrium elevators behind them. Also actually now that I think about it I might have a picture of this same woman myself somewhere. I spent a ton of time in that lobby my first night getting pictures.

>>25642890
>poking my dick while exclaiming "pooooooke"
and you didn't break her hand because....

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I play games with people from /a/. They can do some great stuff with a set of dice, paper, pencils, and a copy of oh, I dunno, Shadowrun? Sometimes though, they get it into their heads to play something even remotely weaboo and all bets are off. That isn't to say that I don't enjoy these campaigns, but the next time a youkai shows up and flounders about in the viscera of our party's recently deceased oppai loli, I'll burst a blood vessel.

Gif semi-related.

>>25646761
One thing that confuses me with this conversation is where it started from. The poster apparently meant that as an example of hideousness but the girl is not particularry unpleasant to look at. The costume is why-would-anyone level silly, but silly costumes are not exactly rare either. I just don't see it.

Note that I have no idea what kind of an environment that is and how socially acceptable skimpy costumes are in it, but I don't think being socially unacceptable was the point either.

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>>25646666
> I'm going to probably eventually become a preacher [or theology teacher. Something].
>These quads.

>>25646829
>oppai loli
Disgusting. DFC or... wait, no bust.

>>25646835
Eh, late night Dragon*Con. Skimpy costumes come out, nothing super unusual there. They generally keep them under wraps until after the people with kids get them out of there.

>>25646902
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but after curfew isn't anything beside full frontal nudity good to go at Dragon Con?

A friend of mine from ACEN is a native to the area and goes every year. She was very surprised by our modesty standards.

>>25646902
On the Dragon*Con note, one of my two real That Guy stories I have is from a Shadowrun game I played there. You know how most people reflexively hate furries? Generally, I've not had a bad experience with them. One of my regular group guys is a super big furry on his own time, but doesn't let that shit bleed over into other games any more than his weird guro fascination. I had the worst experience with a guy who was the bad furry stereotype where they had to just inject it into everything they did. He was a super jittery guy, insisted on playing a kind of broken changeling mage who was a skunk, wouldn't shut up about his fursona and how annoying it was that the GM wouldn't allow some broken effect he wanted to represent fear spray. In game he literally turned into a tiny skunk and ran away in the first combat of the mission and then when that was done he tried to inject a weird leash beg for apology thing. I tried to shoot him for that, may even have actually done it. I remember the older dude in the session was trying to be more reasonable but I felt justifiably maligned in character.

>>25646968
Basically, yes. It's pretty loose. Good social environment though, since people tend to no approve of creepers at all. Once saw a guy tackled to the floor for that.

>>25643654
When I played magic there was a guy kind of like this. Except he moped and sulked everything something went against him. On a personal level, he was a stay at home father for "medical"(read fucking pussy) reasons

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>>25642806
Well shit he grew up

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oh cool. An opportunity to share one of /tg/'s gems.

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>>25647274

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>>25647282

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>>25647295

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>>25647320

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>>25647334

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>>25647348

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>>25647353

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>>25647367

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>>25646666
Preacher man gettin' quad sixes.

We got PLANS for you, boy.

>>25647274
I keep thinking /tg/ can't surprise me anymore, then it makes a manga from its stories.

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>>25647376

Nurgle Man at my game store.

Grotesquely obese-- a mockery of the human figure. He always wore shorts and had obvious open sores on his legs. A smell of decay, body odor and fast food always filled the area when he was around(people would spray air freshener even when he was in the shop in his sight). Somedays he'd be breathing off and on from an oxygen mask all while eating piles of Wendy's and sugary sodas.

>>25643343
That is the image of the god I shall now worship.

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>>25646870
>>25647377
>Implying I'm corruptible.
>Implying quads matter.

>>25647390
.../tg/ didn't make this.

>>25643207
I dont see kebab in there. I dont understand the removal needed?

>>25647274

Wasn't this from /cgl/ originally?

>>25645384
Leave the fucking Baptists alone.

Signed, a Methodist.

>>25647187

You're not fooling me, we all know that's Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts.

>>25647463
All I know/care about is that the Catholics are kinda silly. Except for that new pope. Got me a soft spot for Christian BR's.
Signed a nondenominational.

>>25647446
Yes it was.

>>25647444
I could have sworn that it was from here. Oh well.

>>25643926
Being relatively solitary and self sufficient, never understood why so many people with the same interests as me act so eager about women.

I play Shadowrun to portray stylized action in science fiction settings, not to try and get off.

But then again, I'm a misogynist who threatened to kick a girl out of my game for not taking things seriously at all and just being the giggly cute "Look at me, I'm a nerdy girl!"
And no, I gave her lots of lots of warnings that this was a serious game, and she was even distracting the players to the point where they wanted me to talk to her.

>>25644491
>Putting easy ass over a major interest

Get your own priorities straight.

>>25643371
What the fuck is a Jaz?

My experiences are pretty limited, but this is still a pretty big one.
>At local MtG for the first time in months. Don't know the new set or anything.
>New guy buying a box of the latest set
>Draft, playing against the guy
>Block his 1/3 with my 3/2.
>Sit awkwardly for a moment
>'Yeah so that kills him'
>"Oh doesn't it? I'm new to the game"
>Later in the match. 'Do any of your creatures have flying?'
>"No."
>Next turn he swings with a flyer

Mine wasn't traumatizing as some but it was... enlightening.

When I was in high school I used to play 40K religiously. Me and my circle of friends would go to the hobby shop every Saturday in order to play. One sad my sophmore year a 40k tournament was announced this was something new to us. There were other players at the FLGS and most of them were cool guys. There was a dude from Mongolia who was the best army painter I had ever seen before or since. Another guy who everyone was certian worked for the CIA. And other assorted misfits. All of us were united by our mutual love of gaming. This tournament changed all of that.

It was something of an official event. PLayers from across the city were welcome to attend. There were going to be cash prizes, and GW redshirts would be there to officiate the whole thing. For us regulars it was a whole new world. All of us were in capable of being anything but excited. We helped one another build the best army lists we could think of. we would play practice games long into the nights on weekends. I even did homework right after school so I could take my army to my best friends house next door during the week to play skirmish games.

Then the day came. Our pluckly little band of regulars arrived to find the parking lot filled. The sight in the store is still difficult to describe. All the shelves had been pushed against the wall to create more table space. Every square inch of the place was filled with -those- sorts of players. The kind of people you see from time to time at GW stores. The one who fantasize about being a redshirt. The ones who consider themselves to be pro players. The ones who read the battle reports in White Dwarf and beat off to army compositions and strategy.

There were, in fact, so many of them that there was no room for us. The kindly old man who ran the store (We called Gasper because he looked like the man at the end of time from Chrono Trigger) told us the slots were full.

>>25644911
Poor Mike. That's brutal.

>>25645524
What Ren fair did you go to?
I go to the local Maryland Ren Fair, wich I recently learned is apparently one of the biggest ones in the country.

>>25647529
As if, Catholics comparatively are much more sane than fundy fucks like Southern Baptists.

>>25647744
It's a kind of yellow dragon.

>>25647529
I know it may be the same thing for you, but that guy is from Argentina, not Brazil. Just saying.

Alright, this is a long one so please bear with me. Following is quite possibly the most horrific thing I have ever been subjected to while gaming.
Furry Planet or How to Solve Problems with High Explosives
A while back I was bouncing from group to group. I hadn't found one I really liked and my other group was on hiatus. One of my friends said he'd found an Alternity game. Seeing as I hadn't played Alternity in a long ass time, and I like Alternity I took him up on it.
We were gaming at the GM's house. We get there, nice house smelled like Lavender and Vaseline. More on that later. We're greeted with ample food and snacks for the game and a relatively normal group of 5 other players plus the GM. We hear some noise coming from a back room and we're told that the owner's room mate is hosting a game.
So to the nitty gritty. We have a Tech Op who could fix anything, another Tech Op who was the pilot, a Mindwalker (stereotypical psychic), a Diplomat with a huge language score and 2 Combat Specs. One was a strategist and my character was the tough meat-shield type.
We are given orders from the company to take a ship from our home base to another planet in the same system. Simple milk-run right? Nope.
Shit goes haywire. We lose all electronics while passing through a belt of Fuzzy Science and start descending towards a planet. Upon entering the upper atmosphere we discover this planet is has a layer of the ever-popular GM plot device, this time in the form of metallic particles and thus why it had never been explored.
We lose control of the ship and end up belly sliding across the surface of the planet. We slide off a cliff then do a barrel roll across a forest.
Come to, the ship is in many pieces most of which are the size of a large dog or small child but the important part is mostly intact but cracked open like an egg. Our heros emerge from the wreckage and start salvaging their wreck.

>>25646666

Antichrist detected. Don't believe his lies.

>>25647882
Part 2.

Despite the intimidating cohorts that now filled our store we were all heartbroken. We stayed around for most of the day. Collectively cringing each time the store erupted in a yelled "WAAAAAAGH" or when two players nearly came to blows over a misplaced tape measure.

Then the fateful event happened. Getting wind of some sort of event the local news station sent a van and a reporter to see what was happening. When they arrived the atmosphere became electric. All the "serious" players were ecstatic to show off their armies. To make it worse the reporter was an attractive Asian woman leading to awkward and hamfisted attempts at seduction, all caught on camera.

I don't remember leaving but I do remember being home that night. I turned to the local station which had covered the event. Watching it all replayed in cathode light with the addition of a snide commentary from the reporters. The contempt and superiority easily evident in their demeanor.

That night, watching tv, I made a promise to myself. I would never be like what I saw that day. I still went to the shop from time to time but I drifted farther and farther away. It has been more than 10 years since I quit playing tabletop game. I kept my army, I will even display them sometimes, and I follow this board with interest. Despite my love of all things wargaming though I have just never gone back to it.

After all, I made a promise to myself.

>>25647755

small time, homie, small time

>>25648074

First things first, who's hurt? Well let's see. Our mindwalker is unconscious, our Tech Op pilot has a broken nose and several broken ribs, our Mr. Fix It has a broken arm but that's it. Diplomat is unharmed, Strategist has a broken jaw and myself had, and the GM verified it, a broken left leg and broken right arm (This will be important later) but that I could use my Rotary Laser cannon as an impromptu crutch (this will also be important later).
Those that are healthy enough to salvage supplies, salvage supplies. Eventually we get a camp set up and are arranged in a circle. At this point, the GM stops the game and brings in the other group. In comes three relatively normal looking people, three landwhales and one low-orbiting ham planet. (More on the planet later).
Oh joy, it's gonna be one of those games.

While our characters are in a circle discussing our next course of action, we are interrupted and told to make Perception checks. We all pass, except the Mindwalker (for obvious reasons). Even though we all pass, a self-described "Vixen in a simple tribal loincloth" gently coughs to gain our attention. Now at first, it didn't really sink in what she had just described. I thougth she was just using an antiquated term for a Hottie. But no, she describes herself as "a five foot four, anthro red fox with blue highlights and several piercings in her ears AND NIPPLES"
At this point the rest of her party shows up. We had; 1 aformentioned red fox furry, 2 anthro huskies one blue with green highlights and one purpled with black highlights, 2 lions one male one female, a tiger that was female and a heramphrodidic Puma (which the player described in sickening detail).

>>25648150

They announce their plans to take us back to their camp as Sex Slaves. At this point, I realized we had crashed into the planet of Fucking Furries Literally

As the party is being pursued and as we flee I am suddenly told that I can't run away. I say I figure I can drag a broken leg and at least hobble away. I am suddenly informed that no, I have a broken spine and can't move at all. So fine, I declare that I start firing my rotary laser cannon at them. Nope. Denied. It's now suddenly a shotgun. That's fine I think, a gun's a gun and I proceed to unload. Unfortunately, Furries can dodge buckshot. A few of the furries try to rush me as my collegues attempt to flee. The Furries catch the other party members (most of whom are savagely wounded remember) and proceed to rape them. As they circle up to grab me, they pull my arms apart and see a grapefruit sized, grenade-like sphere on my chest. They look at my hands and see a Pin Ring.

>>25648074
>vaseline
Alarms are already going off. I'm not quite sure why or they should be but I've got a bad feeling.

>>25648169
The grenade goes off, and so do they. I roll for damage and proceed to score enough damage to render myself and the Furries grappling me into chunky salsa. This elicits a massive group temper tantrum from the Furries. The furries moan and whine that what I have done is "Cruel." To which I reply "so is raping a cripple." This elicits yet more whining and blubbering from the ham planet. The GM then suddenly decides that the explosion only sends me flying back into the hollow of a tree. The furries were somehow able to dodge the explsion and escape only with a couple of singed tails as the GM described it
.
Now that I'm in the hollow of the tree they have me pinned. As they describe how they are going to walk up and rape me. I proceed to pull out my pistol. I roll for damage and describe how I have now placed the pistol in my mouth and pulled the trigger. To which they are stunned.

The furries scream, the cry, they bitch and moan. I grab my stuff and my buddy who has had to endure graphic descriptions of how the other two furries were raping his character this whole time, and leave.

>>25648122
That must have been a horrible experience, anon. But you know you're not like that. Its like having a sports enthusiast seeing Those Fans. You know the kind. The one that takes no hint about you not caring/knowing about his sport, filling you with details about the batting average of some guy you never even heard of. Or telling you how many cups his favorite team won with the same coach or whatever. All of those guys with a "knee injury", that forced them to stop playing.
Ahem, I got carried away.
Thing is, I'd be disappointed if you hadn't given wargames or general tabletop games a serious chance after that.

>>25645035
Oh god, when she has that taken off....

I guess it's a fetish for some...

>>25648189
Comming from a normal furry who only likes the art style as a depiction of a new race.

Am I the only fucker who portrays anthropomorphic animals normally? In my stories, they have different communities depending on their race. If you encountered any fucking foxes in my stories, they would have just whent low to the ground and pointed spears at you until you ran away.

I hate when people drag sexual shit into rpgs

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>>25647445
There, happy now?

>>25648238
Free waxing.

>>25648150

Forgot to mention something.

When we tried to leave, there was Vaseline smeared on the door handle.

>>25648189
What the actual fuck.
No seriously, why would I want to roleplay with some guys who describe how they yiff me.

>>25648208
After several moves, one international, I would pretty much have to find a new group of players from scratch. As much as I sometimes want to try again the prospect of doing that terrifies me.

>>25648074
>>25648150
>>25648169
>>25648189


What the actual fuck...

>>25648303
They say that art imitates life. They probably wanted to run an actual furry rape dungeon.

>>25648305
I would like to know who the fuck just tries to rape the PC of someone they haven't even met before? That's fucking weird, and this is comming from the guy who always plays as a interrogation specialist.

I shoved smelling salts into a guys nasal cavity, and even that isn't this fucked up

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>>25648303

>>25645328
Why is the Irish Naval Service stupid?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naval_Service_(Ireland)

>>25648189
Chunky salsa!
I'm going to use that line from now on.

>>25648189
This is where I usually try to say, don't let a few bad apples.....
But seriously, I'll just admit it, the entire fandom i'm in is fucking creeps like this, At least I try to be normal, on top of hoping I really am normal.

>>25645778
When I started out, I played against people that were obnoxious with black cards. To this day I have a distaste for black decks.

>>25648619
You never heard that phrase before? Huh. Where I am it's common parlance. We generally call any rule dealing with Death by Massive Damage in any game system "The Chunky Salsa Rule."

>>25646419
>>25646457

I fucking love convention hall carpets and architure. I used to go to all sorts of convention halls for different reasons when I was young; school tournaments, sports competitions, boy scouts stuff. There's something special in the air about a building dedicated to the sole purpose of gathering kindred spirits.

>>25648074
>>25648150
>>25648169
>>25648189


JESUS H CUNTGARGLING CHRIST

>>25648189
holy shit. I feel uneasy just reading about it and would have dodged that shit the moment the plans were described

>>25648274

>normal furry
No such things

>I portray anthropomorphic animals (who don't exist) normally
Impossible

>I don't drag yiffing into my rpgs
Liar

>>25648660

Stop being a furry, then you are normal.

>>25648660

I am thankful every day that I can't stand mixing fetish and fandom. I'll admit to being a furry, but I can't stand mixing it with anything else. The day I choose to attach little fuzzy ears and a tail to my Kommander Sorsha mini is the day I choose to jump off of a bridge.

>>25649372
>>25649397
Obvious samefag.

>>25649416

YIFF IN HELL, FURFAG

>>25649416
Don't worry, one day you'll hate yourself enough to do it.

...then the bridge will be waiting for you.

>>25649457

Except he's got a point.

People who get off on furries aren't "normal."

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>>25649477

>>25649505

I'll be sure to wear a rope necktie that day.

>>25649522
>People who get off on furries aren't "normal."

To specify, the only reason you even consider it's "normal" is because you've acclimated to the sub-culture.

It's like getting into a pressure chamber and declaring once you get to some ungodly high pressure that, "hey, this is pretty normal. I mean I guess it's TECHNICALLY higher than the outside of my little bubble, but still... I'm not setting it to a higher setting, nope nope."

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I've heard enough That Guy stories on /tg/ to know awkwardness and general "That Guy" attitude transcends any sort of subgroup/race/gender. Now that I think about it most That Guys I've heard of didn't play furry characters.

spoiler: staikep heretic

>>25649585
Most people have sexual desires that aren't vanilla, aka, 'normal'.

Thus, a 'normal' furry is one who is able to separate his sexual kink from the rest of his life.

I had a roommate that was a 'normal' furry. There's nothing wrong with blokes like that.

>>25649747
>Thus, a 'normal' furry is one who is able to separate his sexual kink from the rest of his life.

Except furries can't separate their sexual kinks from the rest of their lives. That's like saying there are non-autistic Sonic fans.

>Most people have sexual desires that aren't vanilla, aka, 'normal'.

Oh boy, there's a whole fucking magnitude of difference between Furries and bondage.

>>25649784
>That's like saying there are non-autistic Sonic fans.

Sweeping generalizations don't bode well for intelligence.

>>25642996
Whenever someone mentions Labyrinth I immediately think of that line inspired by The Bachelor and the Bobby-Soxer.

>You remind me of the man
>What man?
>The man with the power

>>25649784
So what you're saying is that a furry is someone who can't seperate their kinks. People who get attracted to antrhopomorphic animals, but know how to keep their business to themselves, are not furries?

Or, are you some sort of Rooseman that hit their head on the Yiff in Hell tree too hard?

So I'm going to this SUPER casual 40k 3 game tourny at my store. There wasn't even a competive score, just Shit like painting, sportsmanship, etc. Forge world was allowed, but not recommended.

I bring an all infantry chaos Space marine army for shits and giggles. My first game is against this jackass who brings an all forge world (all unpainted) imperial navy army. He proceeds to bomb the Shit out of me while I rolled 6s on to hits. I don't think I killed anything. Last turn, he "lands" on all the objectives.

It was the most boring, most annoying, stupidest game I have ever played. Im pretty sure he made up most of the rules (this was back in 5th so flyers were super rare) but even if he didn't it was still bullshit.

>>25649851
>People who get attracted to antrhopomorphic animals, but know how to keep their business to themselves, are not furries?

I'm saying such people don't exist.

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>>25649923
What do you get out of this? I mean, it's not a particularly funny joke, it's not an effective trolling technique. On the off chance that you're serious, you're exposing yourself as an idiot.

People like you make /tg/ worse.

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>>25649971
>it's not an effective trolling technic
YOU FOOL, DON'T YOU SEE?? YOU ARE ALREADY BEING TROLLED.

No but seriously, you dicksucking faggot, how could you be so god damned stupid as to reply to him, even once? People like YOU, sir, are what truly make any board worse. Don't know how to fucking deal with this shit, god damn. I fuckign swear. Shit.

he wanted you to yell at him. That's trolling.

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>>25649971
Please, please, please. Don't feed the troll.

>>25650015
Oh, I thought it invalidated it if I yelled at him for being a troll, and not concerning myself with arguments over the actual content.

Not even mad, just disappointed in the kid.

>>25650045
Nope. If you take even one moment to turn the thread around and say "Hey, would you stop?", that means he's gotten his kicks. Haven't you ever trolled before? Jeez. The only way to win is ignore him, you can't reason with him cause eh doesn't believe what he's saying. He's just saying it cause he knows it's obnoxious. It's like telling a 6 year old they're annoying when they keep slapping the side of your leg or whatever 6-year old thing they may be doing.

They know. That's WHY.

>>25650033
>>25650015

Alright, I'm sorry guys. I always underestimate how wildly a troll will jump on any chance to stir things up.

It's a mindset that's a bit foreign to me.

>>25650045
>Not even mad, just disappointed in the kid.

Disappointed about what? That I'm not accepting some creepy, awkward fetish too many people are intent on inserting anywhere they go?

Next you're going to say I should start complimenting bronies.

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>>25650104
Many people don't understand. You're just to innocent. In many ways I envy you, naive one. Don't ever lose that spark in you. Don't ever let it become corrupted. And stop talking to trolls like a fucking retard, god damn. Don't even look at them.

>>25650094
I don't think furries get that people legitimately hate them for shitting up everything. They don't get how revolting they are.

>>25649923

You just don't know very much about the world, do you?

Furry is the only porn I've fapped to for the past three months, but you wouldn't catch me within thirty feet of a fursuit, and I actively avoid both the online and real-life communities that revolve around the "furry fandom".

>>25650139
>>25650104
>>25650094
>>25650045
>>25650033
>>25650015
>>25649971

It's funny how you guys are spending valuable post space talking about ignoring a troll.

>>25650159
It's ironic, isn't? The troll is STILL winning.

>>25650141
>They don't get how revolting they are.

Not just that, but they live off this idea of, "hey don't knock it until you've tried it maaaaan. Now take the knot like a good pup."

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>>25650159
did you just call post space on 4chan valuable?

>>25650050

I don't know why those people post, anyway. "I'm a furry, but I'm normal," isn't going to garner any kind of response other than, "no, you really aren't", so what's the point of fishing for validation you're not going to get?

Trying to change the definition of normality is the epitome of insecurity, anyway.

>>25650174

The biggest surprise for me was I wasn't TRYING to troll, I was just speaking the God's honest truth.

But apparently this is a murr-friendly board, excuse me for not noticing that.

>>25650156

>What are personal anecdotes

And yet the internet is DROWNING in furries trying to shove their knotted fetishes down people's throats.

>>25650159
If it hits autosage, we can just start a new one. It's not exactly a precious commodity.

That Guy theads are a /That Guy/ mainstay.

>>25648065
What the fuck is a yellow dragon?

>>25650310
A favored mount for the Whizzard

>>25650310
Dunno. Dumped my knowledge points into anatomy to find the g spot.
Fucker evades me to this day.

>>25650302
>If it hits autosage, we can just start a new one. It's not exactly a precious commodity.

And the thread will once again return to the proper conversation topic; how furries are awful in anything that doesn't involve vaseline, closed doors and a lot of shame.

>>25650250
>And yet the internet is DROWNING in furries trying to shove their knotted fetishes down people's throats.
And yet those people never seem to actually show up.

And yet the internet is DROWNING in people claiming that certain very specific hobbies are "shoved down their throats" by existing somewhere in the general vicinity. And the "general vicinity" part is optional.

The irony is that people who try to demolish group X for being horrible are exceptionlessly worse than them.

>>25650250
What does that mean exactly? Is anyone literally putting a gun to your head and forcing you to watch furry porn until you become furry? Or do you just dislike being reminded that they exist?

>>25642806
That's bretty fucken shitty, OP.

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>>25650330
about an inch in, at "11 o clock", press on it hard.

>>25650348
So their own room and the deacon's office?

>>25650349
>The irony is that people who try to demolish group X for being horrible are exceptionlessly worse than them.

>If we kill the BBEG we're just as bad as him!

Difference is you just got a big meaty bruise instead of some board-wide malaise.

Acceptance is just weakness they'll exploit, you know. Just look at what fucking happened with bronies.

>>25650348
That's simple to solve: stop defining them as "awful". Because I've yet to see an actual problem with "the furries" manifest, apart from character traits which coincide with them, and character traits which aren't problems but are treated as such by troublemakers.

>>25650210
Sort of like how you get Pony fans who distance themselves from the Brony fandom.

People want to create distance between themselves, and the dregs that share their interest. Like how part of /tg/ hates the upcoming That DM movie for making one of the worst examples of our hobby the protagonist.

>>25650376
I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at this. Thanks for the joy and the possible reminder the next time I'm sexing.

This counts as a bonus to my knowledge check, right?

>>25650427
Yeah, a pretty handy one too.

>>25650395
>Difference is you just got a big meaty bruise instead of some board-wide malaise.
"Instead of"? Bashers ARE a board-wide malaise, and they never target real problems.

>>25650427
If you bring the diagram with you and consult it while in the act, you get to use it as a masterwork tool for your knowledge check.

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>>25647432
>veradoe versa

>>25650355
>Is anyone literally putting a gun to your head and forcing you to watch furry porn until you become furry?

I've had enough steam friends that "went yiff" to recognize they're like fucking zombies in the manner they try to convert you.

And even if they don't, they practically parade the fact they're a furry around like it's some point of pride.

Oh, and are you going to ignore all the examples posted in this thread?

>>25650442
You're invoking the pun god.
>>25650466
I'll put into the bag of holding next to the condoms.