>>25636117
>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"

>>25636117
>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"

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>>25636117

>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"

>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"

>>25636117
>>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"
Surprise mothafuckas!

>>25636117
>>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"

>>25636117
>"Don't worry about it- They're just hidden right now."
Then:
>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"

>>25636117
>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"

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>>25636117
>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"
>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"

>>25636117

"Worry not about that for now. One final Question, Where is it safer during combat; Inside of your tank, or outside of it?"

threat spotted, engaging.

>>25636117
>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"

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>>25636141

Remember what the joker said.

" Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds! "

Tell them. EVERYTHING.

>>25636117

>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"

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>>25636117
>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"

>>25636117
>"Um. Commander Russels!" Karina asks. "I can't see any targets!"

They're still being set up. Now as I was saying, it was VERY foolish of you girls to leave the tank during a battle. Even a practice match! Which is why, for the duration of the firing practice today, I am going to require ALL of you to stay inside the tank until the all-clear is given. Starting NOW.

>>25636117
"No, Karina, YOU are the targets!"

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Oh god this is going to be good.

>>25636201
Second.

>>25636201
thid

>>25636117
>Wave her off.
"That's because you're supposed to spot them first."

>>25636117
Muster the biggest, shit-eatingest grin you manage. Then, with a very low voice, audible only because the engine is off, whisper into comms: "Commence operation Firing Squad"

>>25636117
>"They're still being set up. Now as I was saying, it was VERY foolish of you girls to leave the tank during a battle. Even a practice match! Which is why, for the duration of the firing practice today, I am going to require ALL of you to stay inside the tank until the all-clear is given. Starting NOW."

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>>25636201
DANCE FRESHMEN, DANCE FOR MY AMUSEMENT!

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>>25636201
[...]

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>>25636249
[...]

>>25636288
>>25636297
Talk talk talk. Is that all you do?

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>>25636288
>>25636297

>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"

I guess we can be a little nice, just this once

>>25636345
We need to say this to somebody, the first time we have to do something stupid and crazy to save the day.

>>25636365

Being nice just means that when the shells start flying, they will fucking panic.

>"Remember what I said about how safe we are in here...?"

>>25636117

>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"

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>>25636117

>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"

Let us begin the hue.

Is anyone else kind of disappointed we didn't snap and go spaghetti last thread?

>>25636117
> Into the radio "Rose, fire!"

>>25636443
>>25633969

>>25636443
No, I liked how it turned out, it gave me warm fluffies

>>25636443

Yes.

I was waiting for the massive backlash of stored up spaghetti and russel providing enough ammunition to riddle himself.

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>>25636117

>"That's because we're the target today! Everyone stay in the tank!"

WILD CARD, BITCHES! YEEEHAAAAAAAWWW!

>>25636486
>lily is gunner
>shizune is radio comms
>rin is loader
>emi is driver

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>>25636443

Not really. Way I see it, spaghetti that doesn't periodically blowout just continues to build to the point where a blowout of massive proportions is inevitable.

>>25636518
If we're going to blow anything out, it'll be inside our eventual girl of choice.

>>25636518
We just experienced a spaghetti blowout at her parents, so we have a while until our next one.

>>25636554
I'm not sure I like the idea of blowing spaghetti out inside Yukari.

>>25636554
Or girls of choice.Miho and Yukari

Goddamnit I have to sleep. DAMN YOU BLACK JACK.

I'll see you all on suptg in the archives.

>>25636580
>Miho
>Not Erwin

I bet you wanted Kuronoko to win, didn't you?

>>25636570
Millions of tiny little microscopic baby-making spaghetti.

>>25636580
Why not both?

"That's alright, Karina." You say calmly. "Alright, another question... What is the safest place to be in during a tank match?" The unease is suddenly palpable in the tank.

"Um... Inside your tank?" Yuuki, the 37mm gunner says from above you in the turret.

"Very good!" You say. Calm, steady voice. "When is acceptable to leave your tank during a match?" You're suddenly aware that you've never been shot at by Black Jack before.

Azusa, the commander. "If there's a fire that can't be controlled or threatens the ammunition."

"Great! What's another time we can leave the tank during the match?" You notice every girl in the hull compartment is watching your leg bounce with nervousness.

"Um, if we're sinking in water?" Aya says from the 37mm above you. "I don't see any targets either, and nobody's out there to set them up."

"I know." You say. "Today, you guys are going to get a first hand look at how safe you are in your tank."

They all blink at you, and then the first 90mm round impacts the ground just in front of the tank.

>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."
>"Don't panic, everyone stay calm and remain at your battle stations."
>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

>>25636611
>>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."
Cool as a cucumber.

>>25636611
>"Don't panic, everyone stay calm and remain at your battle stations."
>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

Again, why not both?

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>>25636611

>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

Time to act like big brother to the freshmen!

>>25636611
>>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."
>>"Don't panic, everyone stay calm and remain at your battle stations."
>>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

>>25636611
>>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"
Fear is a tool, telling your body to work harder and faster. Use that fear, don't let it use you.

>>25636611

>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

>>25636611
>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

>>25636611
>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

I want them all "Sempai!"ing us before we get out of this tank.

>>25636611
>Other: Laugh. Laugh like a madman.

>>25636611
>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."

I'd say even more than that, considering how abysmal her aim is. She'd manage to miss with a modern auto-lock system!

>>25636646
I'm not sure if getting afraid inside a metal deathtrap with shells raining down on you in conducive to mental health to begin with.

It would be like getting stir-crazy, only a hundred times worse.

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>>25636611
>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."
>"Don't panic, everyone stay calm and remain at your battle stations."

Rolled 28

>>25636666
This has my vote

>>25636611
>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."

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>>25636660

YA HYA CHOUHADA

MUAD'DIB

>>25636666
Seconding

>>25636671
Fear is a natural reaction. Basically your body's fight or flight response. It'll dump adrenaline into your system. So yes, being afraid in battle is perfectly normal. You control the fear, not the other way around.

Maybe Momo firing at us isn't the best idea. The whizzing shells are probably a lot worse on the girls nerves than if Rose just popped us right off the bat.

>>25636611

"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

>>25636703
Well, sure. In normal tank battles, it would be nice. Everyone reacts faster, moves quicker, loads shells faster, etc...

But if they're just sitting around waiting to get shot at...well, there you go. They don't have any outlets to burn that fear out. I wouldn't be surprised if someone gets the thousand yard stare after this whole session.

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>>25636611

>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

>>25636725
You saw how well them having that reaction on their own turned out. We are taking this time to get them used to the feeling, to make sure they pick the "fight" response.

>>25636725
It's what we get for not listening to Miho

>>25636611
Now girls, I need you to PAY ATTENTION to me right now and not the shots outside. This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!

>>25636709

Yeah, but that's the whole point: the freshmen must master their fear of getting shot at! (And Momo must improve her aim!)

And if we are abandoned by treachorous luck,
And if we don't return back home again,
If death's bullet finds us, and fate calls us away,
(Yes, us away,)
Then our tank shall become an honorable iron grave!

>>25636725

How about we get them to return fire?

>>25636756
Cue maniacal laughter

>>25636672

MUH DICK

also,
>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

We are the guns, and your masters! Saw ye our flashes?
Heard ye the scream of our shells in the night, and the shuddering crashes?
Saw ye our work by the roadside, the shrouded things lying,
Moaning to God that He made them - the maimed and the dying?
Husbands or sons,
Fathers or lovers, we break them. We are the guns!

We are the guns and ye serve us. Dare ye grow weary,
Steadfast at night-time, at noon-time; or waking, when dawn winds blow dreary
Over the fields and the flats and the reeds of the barrier-water,
To wait on the hour of our choosing, the minute decided for slaughter?
Swift, the clock runs;
Yea, to the ultimate second. Stand to your guns!

We are the guns, and we need you; here, in the timbered
Pits that are screened by the crest, and the copse where at dusk ye unlimbered;
Pits that one found us - and, finding, gave life (Did he flinch from the giving?);
Laboured by moonlight when wraith of the dead brooded yet o'er the living;
Ere, with the sun's
Rising, the sorrowful spirit abandoned its guns.

Who but the guns shall avenge him? Battery - Action!
Load us and lay to the centremost hair of the dial's refraction;
Set your quick hands to our levers to compass the sped soul's assoiling;
Brace your taut limbs to the shock when the thrust of the barrel recoiling
Deafens and stuns!
Vengeance is ours for our servants: trust ye the guns!

>>25636725

>Everyone reacts faster, moves quicker, loads shells faster, etc

I don't think so; the adrenaline certainly gives you a heightened awareness, but a crew scared under fire is going to be making more mistakes, too.

>>25636611
>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."
>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

>>25636611
>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."
>"Don't panic, everyone stay calm and remain at your battle stations."

>>25636725
Lets give Momo a moving target.

>>25636611
>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."

"Though since we are in this situation, I will ask you question on how to respond to it. So, <name of Rabbit Team Tank Commander>, Your tank is being fired upon. What should you do?"

>>25636611
>>"Don't worry, Momo's firing so you'll have a few more shots to get ready."
>>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

>>25636611
>"This is going to be scary- Any time you get shot at it's scary, but you need to trust in your tank to protect you!"

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>>25636486
Now all we need is for Patrick to open a bar.

>>25636611
Other
>Start whistling Dixie

The girls shriek at the near-miss. The inside of the Lee becomes one giant soundbox. You blink hard trying to clear the high pitched sound from your head. "Relax! That wasn't even a hit." You grin a bit. "Momo's shooting, so it's going to be fine for another shot or two." Ayumi is looking around, a panicked look in her eye.

"I'm scared!" The driver, Karina cries out. "I don't want to be here! I don't want to drive tanks, anymore!"

You gotta squash that hard, right now. "Quiet! It's scary, I know, I get scared too!" You shout firmly. "But remember how much fun driving a tank is! How good you are at it! Are you going to let fear take that away from you?" She looks back at you, teary eyed and you look right back into her eyes. "Everyone is afraid under fire- bravery is what you do with that fear; whether you control your fear or it controls you." You stare harshly at her. "Does your fear control you, Karina?"

She wipes away her tears and puts on a brave face. "N-no!"

You continue. "Are you going to let the fear of someone shooting at you take away the fun you have with senshado?"

"No!" She nods. You nod back at her.

>Use humor.
>Use rationality.
>Use inspiration.

>>25636939
> INSPIRING SPEECH

>>25636939

>Use humor.

Over the Radio: "TRY AGAIN MOMO"

Rolled 21

>>25636939
DON'T BELIEVE IN YOURSELVES

BELIEVE IN THE ME THAT BELIEVES IN YOU

>>25636939
>>Use inspiration.

>>25636939
>Use inspiration.

IT'S SPEECH TIME MOTHERFUCKERS
COME ON /TG/ I KNOW YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS

Rolled 52

>>25636939
>>Use inspiration.

>>25636961
IT'S WINE O'CLOCK AND ALE'S WELL

>>25636939
>Use rationality and a bit of humor

"Besides, given that it's Momo shooting, we've got a better chance of not being hit as long as we stay in the tank anyway. She's more liable to hit us if we bailed out than if we stayed right here."

>>25636939
>Use inspiration.
We Kamina now.

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>>25636939
>Use inspiration.

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>>25636961
From /k/

>>25637005
No.
We Patton.

Slap one of them

>Do not slap one of them

>>25637027
NEVER go full Patton.

>>25637019

But /k/, we're not with Pravda!

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>>25637027

>>25636939

"Fear is a tool. It tells you when there is danger, It makes your senses sharper, your reactions quicker.
Having no fear, means disregarding your environment and allies. This leads to defeat.
Being overcome with fear cripples and paralyzes you. This also leads to defeat.
Valor and Bravery is the act of admitting; Yes, This Scares me, but it will not deter me in my pursuit of Victory!
I do not ask you to stop fearing being shot at, Only that you remember that There are others who you can depend on, and that depend upon you."

>>25636939
>Use inspiration.

We paragon now.

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>>25636939
>Use inspiration.
Well mine eyes hath seen the coming and the glory of the Lord...

Captcha wills it

>>25637055
Too goddamn wordy. Do you think a bunch of schoolgirls would appreciate something like that?

>>25637027

Yeah, none of the freshmen need Bright Slapped yet anyway.

>tfw missed WoTtalk from last thread

>>25636939
>Use inspiration.

Get them psychologically attached to the tank.

"When you found this tank, it was a mess. But you, with your own hands, nurtured it back into its former glory."

"Are you gonna leave it back to that dark, dank place you found by just abandoning it over and over again? Now that's just too sad! You're not giving enough credit to this fellow right here!"

"If you stick it out with your tank and treat it like family, I promise you, you won't regret it! You'll reap the rewards of victory, but only if you fight alongside it as a proper partner. Got it?"

>>25637039

This sentence from him might be useful in this situation though:
>Every man is scared in his first action. If he says he's not, he's a goddamn liar. But the real hero is the man who fights even though he's scared. Some men will get over their fright in a minute under fire, some take an hour, and for some it takes days. But the real man never lets his fear of death overpower his honor, his sense of duty to his country, and his innate manhood.

>>25637072
I like this better. Appeal to their attachment to the Lee If they even have it anyway and the threat of it being left to rust somewhere again.

>>25636939
>Every tanker is scared in his first action. If they say they're not, they're goddamn liars. But the real hero is the one who fights even though he's scared. Some tankers will get over their fright in a minute under fire, some take an hour, and for some it takes days. But the real tanker never lets their fear of death overpower their honor, their sense of duty to their team, and their innate manhood.

>paraphrased from Patton

>>25637078
>>25637093
Mivehind

>>25637019
>>25637050

You know, I just had a thought: what if by the time we face Saunders the other schools have learned about Oorai's bringing in (mostly) male tankers from another country and decide to start importing tank crews from their 'team' nations as well?

>Pravda with actual Russians in a T-44-100

>>25637118
After the Pravda match we'll bump into each other and chat a bit. Later that day our team will find us drunk and singing with the Russian tankers.

>>25636939
Shit, dozed off there for a good half an hour.
Uh uhhh.
>Use inspiration.
And top it off with a bit of humor at the end. those are the best

>>25637118
We'll hold'em by the balls and kick them in the ass.

>>25637118
That would be amazing. How do you think Russian tanking would work? The States have the whole duel thing going on and Japan has diverse tank groups, so Russia's gotta have something unique.

>>25637118
They're not desperate, so unlikely.

>>25637078
>>25637093
>Inspiration with this.

We Patton now.

>>25636939
>Use Humour
>Use Rationality
"Besides, it's Momo shooting. It'll take maybe an hour before she hits anything."

>>25637166
I believe in this, though some people won't consider it, too in the box.

>>25636939
See >>25637093. If we're going to go Patton, we're going full-on Patton.

Rolled 67

>>25637179
>>25636939
'Besides, it's Momo we're talking about, she'll run out of ammo before she *BOOOM*'

>>25637193
Momo is BS1

Notice how we repeatedly got warned not to take this route? Momo is gonna miss the next 12 or so shots until MC gets impatient and decides to get out and yell profanities about her aim. The very instant we pop out a round takes our head off. At least the lesson was effective on the freshmen.

DEAD END

>>25637221

Are you trying to make Yukari cry?

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>>25637221
Our glorious helmet will deflect it.

>>25637221
I hope so, then we don't have this quest on the board anymore.

But seriously, there's a radio, we can call Rose to make sure she's not firing

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>>25637234
Eminently possible.

>>25637240
The seed of doubt has taken root.

>>25637242

Goddammit, I need to finish reading that even when I don't want to.

>>25637242
What is this?

>>25637258
A Yukari whose tears have dried long ago.

Counting off in your head you know when Roy's got another round ready. "Alright, another round's ready-" You warn them. "Relax. We're safe in here." You look around- you need to their minds off the incoming rounds- in combat you'd have various jobs to keep you from thinking too hard. "So, what did you guys name your tank?"

You don't get a response, but Yuuki is starting to hyper-ventilate beside you. "Hey, Azusa!" You call up into the turret. Did you guys name your Lee?"

"What?!" She yells down. There's a whistling noise as Momo's next round passes a few feet over the tank. A second later the distant boom of the cannon's report finally catches up.

"See? Another miss. Momo can't shoot worth anything, can she?" You look around. "Anyway, I asked whether you guys name the Lee?"

"Oh... No." She say from above. "No."

You frown. "Well that's no good. We're gonna have to name her. Or him." You shrug. "I always thought of Black Jack as a him, though traditionally they're supposed to be feminine." You stop for a moment to let them think. "So, names?"

"Mr. Rabbit!" Karina calls from the front. "We're rabbit team, right?"

>"That could work, what do the rest of you think?"
>"I think we can do better than that!"

>>25637277
>"That could work, what do the rest of you think?"

Their tank, their choice, methinks!

>>25637277
that was not an inspiring speech

>>25637258
Five threads worth of Yukari being sad. It's not worth it and is frankly cookie-cutter sadbait. Like, fuckin Lifetime material. Don't get embroiled in that shit, man.

>>25637277
BlackJack, I don't mean to be annoying, but this was not inspiring, humorous, or rational.

>>25637284

Sometimes you don't need a grand speech to inspire... Sometimes you just guide them into inspiring themselves.

>>25637277
>"Fuck that weak shit, how about GREGORY, that's a name that'll keep you safe."

>>25637277
>"That could work, what do the rest of you think?"
Get Yuuki's mind off the shots.
Check on the other crew, make sure they're fine.
Above all, get them to start helping each other deal with the panic, we won't always be around.

>"I think we can do better than that!"

Get them comfortable with the adrenaline.

>>25637277
>"I think we can do better than that!"

Honestly, BJ, that isn't even a speech. That's casual conversation. Let us have some extra time to all agree on a fill-in-the-blank speech or just pick which one you like the most and we can avoid another Anzu situation.

>>25637286
>Still expecting BlackJack to follow thread consensus.

>>25637293
>Gregory
>Not George

>>25637277
>How about the rabbit of Caerbannog?
They should know given they watch western shows.

>>25637301
Saint George preserve us!
>>25637309
Carrey for short?

>>25637277
See >>25637309
>How about the rabbit of Caerbannog?
They did seem like Monty Python fans.

Rolled 19

>>25637309
Seconding

>>25637291
Yeah, but this is distracting, not inspiring. It's like when you go to the dentist and he asks you about your vacation while he's drilling your teeth. Sure, it helps to take your mind off of the power tool in your mouth, but it doesn't make you any more comfortable with having a hole drilled in your teeth.

>>25637277
>"That could work, what do the rest of you think?"
Br'er Rabbit, maybe?

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>>25637277
>"That could work, what do the rest of you think?"

>>25637309
heh I'll second this, killer rabbit and all.

>>25637309

HELL YES

>>25637277

LOGO PLS

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>>25637309
References: The Quest.

>>25637329

Would the girls even get the reference?

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>>25637309

This...could work.

Yuuki's head shoots up. "Caerbannog." She smiles. "Caerbannog! It's perfect!"

Ayumi laughs suddenly. "Really? We're gonna name our tank after that?"

Suddenly smiles start popping up across their faces. You are completely confused. "Name it after what?" You ask, but they aren't really listening.

"I like it!" Azusa shouts from the turret. "Perfect name for our tank!"

You aren't sure what they're talking about, but it's got them in a better mood, already. "What is- what are you guys even talking about?"

Yuuki sighs. "You don't watch a lot of good movies, do you?" She rolls her eyes. "He doesn't even know what we're talking about!" You do watch movies, and some of them are pretty good but you still just can't wrap your head around the reference. It's gotta be something obscure- maybe it's from one of those giant-monster movies?

You're brain tells you that Roy's probably got a round loaded again.

"So it's settled then?" Azusa says. "We're calling out tank Caerbann-" At this point a 90mm round slams into the side of the Lee.

>>25637445
>The tank's name is now CaerbannARGH

Is it over? Can I finally rest?

>>25637445
Heh. Hilarious, considering that the rabbit was unkillable.

>>25637445
>wah, what are we gonna do on the firing range
>pomf

Next time on Girls und Panzer Quest

>Momo actually hit something.
>Aren't we supposed to be going to school or something?
>Patrick is a diabolical genius.

Girls und Panzer Quest will continue tonight around 5-6PM PST. Be prepared for another late night!

Follow me on twitter for schedule updates and to find out when the thread goes up!

https://twitter.com/BlackJackGuPQ

>>25637460
>will continue tonight

Then why both ending this thread?

>>25637464
because it's tomorrow

>>25637460
>Patrick is a diabolical genius.
This can only end well.

>>25637464
People need sleep to function

>>25637460

>Patrick is a diabolical genius.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa

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>>25637445

E's got a mean streak a mile wide! I wouldn't go too near 'im if I were you!

>>25637469
not if you're not in MURRIKA! like the rest of the world

>>25637469
>tomorrow
>will continue tonight
>tonight

uhh, you do know how days work right?

>>25637479
In Finland it'll be wednesday 4am, which is tomorrow, and isn't in 'Maurica.

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>>25637460
good show, sir

until next time.

>>25637493
Finland isn't a real place.

I bet you still believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause too, huh?

>>25637475
that is genuinely disturbing

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>>25637499
But, but I'm in the lapland right now! I could take a car and in an about hour be at Santa's workshop!

>>25637456

Not unkillable, unbeatable in melee, but it fell to the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch...

Though If we upgrade it's guns with larger calibre ones, It could be described as having 'nasty, big, pointy teeth'...