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Natural 1 (Distraction)

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BAM

>>25606612

Awesome :)

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Charisma Check (natural 1)

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Pretty sure this gets posted in everyone nat 20 / nat 1 thread. It's from a movie titled Ironclad btw.
>nat 20
>nat 20 on confirm
>max damage
>target fails Fortitude save against massive damage
>Cleave
>nat 20 on Cleave target

>>25607008
Now if only the movie at large hadn't been the result of...

Perform (write script) nat 1
Fort check (resist parkinssons) nat 1

I always wonder:
Are people making these AWARE that a Natural 20 doesn't do shit outside of combat?

>>25607067
It's more that we don't really care, and it's funnier to pretend it does.

>>25607067
Yes but they really don't care, it's a joke. If you are wearing fullplate, have 12 str and no ranks in swim you still easily drown with a 20 while trying to swim.

>>25607028
>attack nat1.gif
>not "e rank in luck.gif"

Bitch, please.

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>>25607067
Skyward vagina disagrees.

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Nat 20 Hide

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>>25606600
Nat 20 (Distraction)

>>25606612
we ought to make more of these

>Roll sleight of hand check for success in three-card monte
>20
>Your hands are gone as far as you and everyone else is concerned, you can no longer use weapons, -10 penalty on all skill checks

>>25607199
>Roll Intimidate to get the guy you captured to tell you everything he knows.
>20
>The guy dies from a fear-induced heart attack.

Do Critical Glitches (Shadowrun) count?

I like to have critical glitches for enemies as well, and often make them silly or fatal, depends on the training of the enemy.

One time, a russian mobster tried to fire full auto with a machine pistol, he wasnt good at machinepistols and had a dice pool of only 2, because of long full auto bursts effect of taking 5 off the dice pool in order to add 5 damage.

Rolled the 2 dice pool, both ones, ultra critical glitch.

>The Russian first his first two shots, both missing you.
>the recoil of the first two shots has sent the gun barrel just under his chin.
>the third shot fires right into his skull
>He is dead, shot himself in the head

I rolled 1d6 to determine how many seconds his body still stands there.
He was used as partial cover for a fire fight between two guys who had 4 initiative passes.

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>>25607268

This guy failed his Throw.

>>25607253
>Roll craft to create a makeshift slingshot
>20
>You have gained a plasma rifle

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>>25607268

That poor bear! Look at how nice and polite it was as well...

Fuck that old guy.

>>25607067
>what are house rules

>>25607253
>Roll hacking to get into a computer, because you need info from 1 of their databases
>20
>Your mind is merged with the World Wide Web thus creating skynet.

>>25607309
Bullshit for babies

>>25607199
>Need to hide from king's men, pose as street performer
>Roll 20
>Your new career leads you to prosperous new heights
>Taken to perform for the king
>Recognized, executed

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This is some sort of critical success at berserking, I just don't know exactly what.

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Looks like I'm out now, so here's whatever this is.

True story: Nat 20 Diplomacy check
>"Hey, could you hold these grenades for me for a sec?"
>Run like hell

>Roll to Detect a hidden door.
>Nat 20.
> Become aware of everything, and driven mad by infinity.

>>25607360
>diplomacy

>>25607365
Lame. The whole "Going crazy" angle is always used when people try to get all grim-dark and edgy.

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>>25607330
>no fun allowed

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Nat 1 disguise

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>Be in first proper D&D campaign ever
>character finds most of the party to be either incredibly dangerous or incredibly annoying
>generic dungeon trap goes off, pit opens up
>warlock rolls nat 1 and falls in.
>Rogue throws a rope to help warlock up
>rogue rolls nat 1 on strength check and lets go of rope, which falls into pit.
>warlock throws it back up. Ranger tries this time. nat 1's. gets pulled into the pit with warlock.
>spend about 30 more minutes trying to haul everyone out of the most generic pitfall in the book (literally)
>laugh my ass of the whole time.

>>25607330
Look at the grognard cry.

>>25607330

>I only play make-believe pretend games like a badass.

>>25607403
>>25607402
>>25607388
Play it right or don't play it at all

>>25607357
SHE CAUGHT THE FUCKING FOLDING CHAIR

>>25607414
>completely ignoring the first and most important rule of role playing games
>have fun, change stuff if it doesnt fit you

>>/out/

>>25607414
>>25607330
Lawful Evil DM detected

>PC: "oh no I rolled a 1 on my fortitude"
>DM: "you die"
>PC: "but I spent so long on this character, I was just getting to..."
>DM: "shut the fuck up and deal with it"

Yeah... people like you suck

>>25607414
Man, your group must love you...

>Roll to seduce the guard
>Nat 20
>Your display is so arousing the guard starts shrieking as he orgasms right before passing out in a pool of his own spooge, his screams have alerted most of the castle.

>>25607383
>Complain about edge.
>Nat 1
>SO EDGY

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>>25607414
Best troll all day

>>25607428
If you're going to have an enemy use an instant death effect then be prepared to deal with the consequences

>>25607431
I don't make the rules, I'm just a PC but my group doesn't do any houserules and we have fun

>>25607348
>Person seems suspicious, roll for sense motive
>20
>His entire life up to this point flashes before your eyes as your minds meld together

>>25607381
who said he pulled the pins?

>>25607358
Whatever it is, it's a critical success.

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>>25607436
>Player/Characters face when

>>25607357
I once played a Sheboon in DnD.

>>25607381
Hey, I wasn't lying to the guy or forcing him to do anything. I asked a favor.

>>25607358
yay BE

>>25607451
You probably don't even know the rules well enough to tell.

>>25607460
>Person seems suspicious, roll for sense motive
>20
>Spoil the surprise party he was planning for you

>>25607348
Best one.
>>25607253
Second best.

The rest lack any subtlety.

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>>25607396

Ah - if we're having these...

>Playing Elder Scrolls Homebrew
>Rogue character is attempting to sneak into a bandit compound.
>Proceeds to roll a critical fail - 100 on D100.
>Bandits watch as this Khajit sneaks in through the front entrance - making mission impossible and other sneak-music sounds - do a few rolls, hide behind low walls.
>Bandits look at each other; "Who's this fucking guy?" They draw steel and charge.

>>25607263
I only just realized that massive error

*The Russian fires his first two shots

>>25607513
What makes you assume that?

Honest Truth: Last Game session for my party became, very briefly: Critical-mania.

>Enemy wizard is standing on a overhead ledge with their back to a wall, casting spells down at us.
>Party archer attempts to pin his hand to the wall.
>Gm gives her a penalty, but lets her try.
>Nat 20.
>Confirm: Nat 20.
>Enemy spellcaster cannot cast if you disable their hand...
>Paladin's turn, he's smiting some evil.
>Nat 20, Confirms
>Kills it
>My turn comes around.
>Zapping with Vicious Mockery
>20.
>GM's turn
>out of 5 monsters, 3 get 20's.

By the end of the encounter, we had 13 critical hits performed. Everyone had scored a critical hit except for our Dwarf Fighter.

>>25607357
>>25607423

Fucking Hulking Hurlers.

>>25607199
>Attempt to cut through a rope
>20
>You have split the atom

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>>25607589
>not playing an epic level hulking hurler and throwing asteroids at Neutronium Golems

Step up sempai

>>25607357
Rolled a 20 to chimp out.

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>>25607605

>>25607557
>Dwarf Day Afternoon
>In theatres July 12

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Confirm critical hit.

>>25607357
I believe we just call this one RULES OF NATURE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuGlP8zaw_I

>>25607314
That cheeky fucker continued dancing afterwards

Note: The group I'm in these days does ERP. Big whoop.

>Playing Savage Worlds, Slipstream setting
>Playing a Valkyrian, Mechanic and back-up pilot
>Party finds a crashed ship on a frozen planet, goes to investigate
>Find lots of funny-looking pills around
>Only way to test what they do is to take one, so my character takes one
>Roll Vigor periodically to resist effects
>Two Critical successes, then one crit failure
>Benny to recover, adds another crit failure
>Pill is ecstasy, kicks in in the blink of an eye
>Holy shit everything is wonderful, I feel so happy, hey douchebag I despise, come have sex with me
>Ecstasy wears off after fading to black
>Character is now thoroughly confused

And then in another game I'm in with this group...
>Be playing Black Crusade
>Playing a Psyker with a wicked case of amnesia, uses a serial number branded on her arm as her name
>Party is investigating a chaos group performing a ritual on a wind turbine, my Psyker is freaking out at what they're trying to do
>Don't stop ritual in time, the Turbine sends off a blast of energy into the air
>Roll willpower. Fuck yeah, Willpower's my best stat
>Roll a 100
>Somebody fuck me now, I've never felt this horny before
>Is now an apprentice to the powerfist-wielding Chaos Marine in the group after she, well, serviced him. Couldn't be happier.

Fuck if you guys judge me for being in a ERP group and liking it, those were the first two times I actually had fun getting a critical failure.

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>nat 1 on a will save to resist fear

>>25608396
>Somebody fuck me now, I've never felt this horny before
ba-dum-tss

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>>25608396

>being this defensive without being attacked

shiggy diggy

>>25607423
She threw a table, then batted one chair down with her purse, and caught another one.

The fuck happened to piss her off so thoroughly that she'd just throw a table and then just deal with someone throwing two folding chairs at her?

>>25606683
In his defense, Drow women have spiders EVERYWHERE.

>>25608544
I don't know but if we find a way to utilize such rage we may have a very potent weapon on our hands

>>25608544
Clearly she's the deity of rioting

>>25607067
god i wouldnt want to play in your group

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>>25608097
Holy shit my sides

>>25607606
Time Lords mentioned in that
????

>>25607189
i lost my shit

>>25607357
nat 1 at having time

>>25607606
What the fuck?
What are these things?
Who the shit makes them?

>>25607189
>ocarina of time speedrun.gif
Explain, please.

>>25608707
They're golems made from dead stars. They also have a typo on the CR, they should be like ~972. They're made by Time Lords which are basically "I AM the campaign setting, personified," which can generally only be killed by ONE spell they're not immune to and ONE specific weapon that exists within them. To clarify:
Universes are sentient and sapient. They produce golems made from the hearts of stars, called Neutronium Golems to carry out tasks for them here and there, usually to provide sunlight to solar systems within them (the time lords) that have had their suns burn out or to crush the shit out of really uppity deities trying to control or kill the time lord.

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>roll up a nosferatu who was a detective in life
>say he has a police issued shotgun
>roleplaying for days
>get to a combat scenario
>celerity up to an enemy vampire in a subway station
>"Describe how you attack, anon"
>"I put the end of the barrel at his temple and pull the trigger"
>ST laughs and extends the reroll range of the dice all the way to 8
>get a retarded amount of success
>several of his buddies run away

>>25608707
>Who the shit makes them?
basically, sentient universes

>>25608761
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0M7IINwTFVw

It's about timing when you do a certain glitch. Do a couple backflips and walk sideways out of ghoma's door, and it teleports you to Ganondorf's castle

>>25607253
I managed this as a level 1 town guard, i used my strength for the check and said i lifted him off the ground, screamed in his face for the info, spittle hitting him in the eye

i got like a 38 or something with the house +10 to the result from a nat 20 rule

>>25608833
>watermelon
That's a cabbage.

>WoD
>Staking Vampire we need to capture alive
>Str check
>successes, successes everywhere
>you strike him so hard you rip his heart out of the body
>he crumbles to dust in front of you
Thanks Obama

>>25608841
Ah, cool. Thanks.

>>25608833
That is not a watermelon. That is a head of lettuce. You can tell because of the leaves, and because, of all the pieces that fly off of it, not a single one is red.

>>25608831
Also people who try to escape their own universe, they also wreck the everloving fuck out of them, basically for when players hop the rails so hard they end up in a completely different setting, like going from Eberron to Forgotten Realms.

>>25608888
Cabbage is nothing more than the poor man's Watermelon.

>>25608997
Why do they wreck the everloving fuck out of people who try to dimension hop?
Do universes hate people doing that?

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>>25607358
>>25607358

>>25609045
because every 10 hours spend on /tg/ there is 1 in 20 chance of acquiring new fetish (unless you're already maxed out)

>>25609039
Well, considering that, when you go through, you're removing some of the universe's potential energy in the form of whoever you take with you, I'd say that that might not be very high on their list of, "things I enjoy having happen."

>>25609142
Sounds about right.

>>25609181
So Neutronium Golems are universe plugs?

>>25609220
Pretty much.

>>25609045
As someone who isn't into BE, I blame the fact that it's Malon.

>>25607299
But that's not how this is supposed to work.
>Roll craft to create a makeshift slingshot
>20
>You have invented the nuclear bomb ushering in the third world war, the blood of millions of innocent lives covers your hands

>>25607253
>Under water too long, make endurance checks to hold your breath.
>Nat 20
>You can stay underwater indefinitely, but can no longer breathe air.

>>25609366
>the plasma rifle has stability of it's 40k namesake
>burns your arm off the first time you attempt to use it

>>25607253
>Roll animal empathy to calm a wild bear
>Nat 20
>You perform a mind-meld with the bear. The bear absorbs your thoughts and memories, you absorb his base instincts.
>Reroll your character
>(Or just play as the bear)

>>25607253
>Roll status to learn who is King of this land
>Nat 20
>It's you. You are King.

>>25607253
>Roll religion to learn who is the God depicted on this altar.
>Nat 20.
>It's you. You are that God.

>>25609418
>become Sir Bearington
which is awesome

no, this is basically a /b/ epic fail epic win thread

fuck off

>>25607253
>Roll dexterity to perform a contortion act.
>Nat 20
>Your body folds in on itself like a mobius strip.

>>25609470
>badwrongfun
How about you fuck off, because everyone else seems to be having a good time

>>25607253
>Roll language to see if you understand Goblin
>Nat 20
>Goblin is your first language.
>Because you are a goblin.

>Roll seduce on the King as a man
>Natural 20
>he becomes homosexual and his dynasty extincts

>>25607253
>Roll healing to suck the venom from a snakebite
>Nat 20
>You drain the victim's body of all its fluids.

>>25607253
>I pat the rogue on the back for a job well done
Roll
>What? No, I'm just...
ROLL
>Nat 20
Oh shit!
...
>What happens to him?
...
>Oh God...
He really appreciates the gesture. Your relationship improves by 1 degree.
>Oh thank God.
...
>...
...
>Then he explodes, doesn't he?
Yes, then he explodes.

>>25609517
Desired effect achieved
The venom does not kill the person

>>25607304
"Hey buddy, I's jus gonna take a lil bite outa you hand here, otay? Jus gonna..."
>"No! Bad bear! No."
"Ow, hey, I sorry guy."

>>25609045
Really, you're upset at finding sudden enlargement of breast and implied lactation arousing? Really kinda vanilla , so don't let it get you down. Buck up and explore your new interest and remember, you could have found something more embarrassing, lord knows I have.

>>25609455

>Roll a History check to see who the skeleton in the coffin is
>Nat 20
>It's you, you are the skeleton
>You die

>>25607293
thats more of a failed catch

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>>25607008
>dat filename

>>25609142

Remind me what the cap is again? I've heard different numbers from different rulesets.

>>25609575
Let that be a lesson to ya. Don't give the GM any ideas.

>>25609699
The soap turned into a cake, you would have to roll a natural 1 to have SOAP turn into CAKE.

>>25607008
this reminds me of what its like laying seige to a castle in Mount and Blade

>>25609730
yeah, but the didnt even move his hand to catch it

>>25609745
it turned into a cake, he was all, fuck this shit, might as well take it like a man.

>>25609674

... more embarrasing? so like how my character once discovered he had a fetish for smoked cheeses?

Latest games with friends.
>Handle Animal check
>Nat 20
>GM gives me animal empathy with my horse and gives me a permanent +4 when handling it.

>>25608544
I'm pretty sure that's their mating ritual. The female demonstrates her strength and fitness by hurling a table. The males, if pleased by her display, will throw chairs in response. If the female catches the chair, she has agreed to begin the courtship proper.

>>25609766
I sense a story.

I'm not sure if I want to hear it or not...

>>25609730
I think you mean the opposite of what you said.

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>>25609787
thats just stats

wouldve been better if you had taught your horse to speak like an english gentlemen

>>25609799

not much to it really, i played a bard who, regardless of how high my cha was, would fail his rolls with the opposite sex, unless there was smoked cheddar/whatever in the room, so he started associating sex with smoked cheese...

>>25606650
>:)
kill yourself

>>25609871
W... wait, are you saying that you're angry? Is that--I think the formatting is making your meaning a little unintentionally compromised.

>>25609868
Interesting.

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>>25609871
would you like a pic?
it illustrates your point quite well

>>25609900

he's saying that you should kill yourself for putting an emoticon.
It's not that fucking complicated.

>>25609900
I'm not the guy who posted the emoticon, for the record.
I mean that perhaps you should have put some sort of spacing or intervening words between the ">" and the ":)".

>>25609900
We don't do emoticons on /tg/ :)

>>25610087
Or anywhere else on 4chan for that matter.

>>25610087
>:(

>GMing Black Crusade.
>Slaaneshi apostate rolls fellowship on convincing priest to sleep with him. (make it a -30 modifier)
>Rolls 10
>Priest get gangfucked by Slaaneshis.
One of the players was a CSM, and the final fight was to take on a dreadnaught that had found them with a SM squad. CSM(Sliver was his name) readies a chainfist he stole from a SM Captains corpse. Runs up and hits. What does he hit? Double 10 out of 2d10. Zealous Hatred. Maxes out damage.
>No face to describe my fury when he one-shots my dreadnaught.

>Roll for Internet Lore
> Critical Failure
> XDDDD

>>25610087
I would really like to know the story behind this manner.

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>>25607358
And now I like holstauri again.

>>25610201
it's mostly because are a cheap and faggoty way of communicating emotion, and they make you look like a 12 year old.

look at the following

> thanks for the monster girl dump :)
> thanks for the monster girl dump

or

> lel, get a load of this nigger! XD
> lel, get a load of this nigger!

one looks annoying and immature, and the other looks like it's from 4chan (which is annoying and immature, but less so than emoticons)

the only emoticon we accept is ;_; ,simply because it conveys a fairly wide range of emotions in a way that makes sense (muh feels, no sleep tonight, ETc...)

>>25610281
Oh, i understand the difference and all those. I just wondered if there is some kind of story behind it.

>>25610330
I don't think so, i just think it is an axiom of 4chan to be honest, most people who have been on here for any length of time all innately understand that emoticons are for fags.

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>>25610201
Emoticons can be used for two things:
- convey the tone of your post in a way written text just cannot do
- be a shiteating teenage memespouter thinking the internet is his fucking blog

Since 4chan is an Imageboard, you can and should post a picture if your post needs context, even a shitty reaction pic will do better than a smiley. This means that anyone using emoticons is either not even trying or in the second case described above.

>>25608686
Not those Time Lords. In Immortals, Time Lords are essentially sapient universes. The books themselves are pretty bad but there are some cool concepts sprinkled in.

Nexus dragon whip.

>>25610378
fukkin saved

>>25610378
>not punctuating
Saved it anyway.

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>>25610405
have a free picture

>>25610378
Everyone knows the only acceptable emoticons are <:3c and :V anyways

>Roll heal check to cure Venereal Disease
>Roll 1
>Accidentally create airbourne AIDS

>>25610378
this guy gets it, on normal forums where image posting is difficult (for instance, BBcode, while easy, is more tedious than 4chan's system), emoticons are normally acceptable (unless spammed)

we on 4chan however, have the ability to go beyond 2-4 character representations of emotion

>>25610378
>first pic: reality
>second pic: how I choose to perceive people who do what I don't want them to
>so you'd better do what I say or I'll project SO MANY imaginary character flaws on you

>>25610439
Adam please go.

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>>25610445
Eh, it could have been worse.

>>25610439
what about ;_; ?

>>25610493
Less acceptable, but still not faggotry like the rest.

>>25610445
>airborne AIDS
Nah, a mutated form of AIDS that also happen to be airborne. Zombie AIDS.

>>25610466
>explosive
>inflicting heavy blunt trauma
wut?

>Roll to disable trap
>20
>Trap becomes so safe you convert it into a panic room and jodie foster kills you for it

>>25610509
To understand this, you must understand how massive pressure waves interact with flesh.

>Roll listen
>20
>The sound or air particles moving deafens you permanently

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>>25610378
don't really need emoticons for this site, just use reaction images to convey the tone of your message. for example:

I'm getting Married!

>>25610547
Invest in manacles to keep your guests in their seat until you are well away from the wedding.

>Roll Handle Animal
>20
>Arrested for bestiality

>>25610557

I rolled a nat 20 for Handle Animal to "work with" our Sorceress's familiar (a bobcat, since she took the Improved Familiar feat.)

My character is now the bobcat's "second favoritest human ever."

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>>25610445
>roll heal check to cure unknown illness
>Roll 20
>creates an aggressive antibody that kills all diseases/viruses/ailments everywhere
>humans evolve over the next millennium to not have an immune system, all disease is dead
>alien plague
>kills everyone

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>>25610547
Marriage makes everything more interesting, from ceremonies at the church to cold-blooded murder.

>>25610547
Thing is, not everyone has many reaction images but it's fairly easy to construct emoticons.

>Roll Survival
>20
>Spend 10 years building a farm and planting vegetables. Totally fail current mission

>>25610617
>don't have enough reaction images
>lurk on 4chan for a week
>you now have enough reaction images

until then, you can spell out your posts tone and put English class to good use.

>roll perform: percussion
>nat 20
>I accidentally create dubstep.

>Roll Intelligence check
>1
>Forget to breathe. Fort save or death.
>20
>Live forever

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>>25610439

>>25610646
This man speaks the truth.

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>>25610547
If the married are dead, does the formula changes to "Until life do us part"?

>>25610686
:V

>>25610679
more like rolled a 1

>Craft music
>Roll a 1
>Dubstep

>>25610698
More like "Until fucking paladins do us part"

>>25610646
But then I'd have the same reaction images as everyone else, which would make me appear very generic. Besides, reaction images haven't even been a thing for that long, I'll catch up next year or whatever when they become mainstream enough there's a popular website with a tag system.

>Contemplating meaning of life
>DM: roll intelligence check
>20
>Realize you are a character in a D&D game

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Nat 1 on Animal Empathy.

>>25610736
you would have the same emoticons as everyone else too.

>try to kick a low-health party-member who is on the ground to wake up (didn't know he was low-health since it was dark and I was just arriving to the scene)
>roll 20
>accidentally killed him
Not really, but we played with the idea for a few minutes with DM

>Cleric: Roll knowledge religion
>roll 20
>become Nihilist, lose all powers from your deity

>Attempting to repair damaged armour
>20
>The armour surface gleams so brightly and flawlessly that in bright sunlight it starts fires.

>End of campaign loot chest after defeating the BBEG in his inner sanctum
>1
>Find a stash of porn and used wank rags

>Gryphon following the party for reasons of its own. Injured after aiding the party in a skirmish
>Handle Animal to get it to calm down
>20
>The gryphon is now hopelessly in love with the party rogue and gets intensely jealous of women he talk to.

>>25610736
Jesus christ. I actually hate you. I legitimately hate your guts and wish you harm. 10/10

>playing "on 4chan" RPG
>which board should i go to?
>roll intelligence
>1
>/tg/

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>>25610829
>The gryphon is now hopelessly in love with the party rogue and gets intensely jealous of women he talk to

>>25610829
Dunno why, but the gryphon thing sounds like a recipe for something hilarious.

>>25610855
>playing "On 4chan" 3rd Edition
>roll intelligence to begin browsing
>nat 20
>close browser and never visit website again

>>25610855
Could have been worse. Imagine a campaign set in /po/. Nothing ever happens.

On the other hand, /x/ makes an awesome setting. Business as usual is weird and vaguely scary shit like you're living in Halloween Town, but once a month the hordes of /b/ invade. You have to defend your board against the shitstorm of half-rotten memes, armed with nothing but willpower and half-baked creepypasta.

>>25610881
We should totally type up the rules of this:

'ON 4CHAN' RPG

ABILITIES:

Typing (in WPM)
Wit
Trolling
'Mad'ness (From 'U' to 'not even')
Age (either 12 or 32)


Skills:
Greentexting
Linking other posts
Cross Linking between boards
Spoiler Usage
Google/Reverse image search

INVENTORY:
Gore pics
Reaction pics
Epic thread pics
loli/waifu pics
"czech my dubs" pics
Neckbeard

>>25610867
>>25610856

From that point onwards the campaign turned into a serise of implications he had to mack on it to keep it interested in helping us (the gryphon turned out to be female).

It did however come in handy when the campaign really ramped up in intensity.

>be prince
>rollin for charisma
>nat 20
>become incredibly humble
>become epicurianist
>abdicate to pursue a simple life
>king and queen are to old to bear another heir
>kingdom falls into dissaray

>>25610986
> bear another heir
> bear
I know this was intentional but still.

>>25610972
GM: You see a troll thread!
>Its an atheist Troll thread!
Pic is "This is what atheist actually believe"
Roll a Trolling Check.
>1
You are trolled! You reply with a huge rant about how Atheism isn't a religion!
>You just made some neckbeards day!
>anon gained +2 Troll points!

>>25610986
FUCK. WHY THE HELL DOES IT AUTO PUT IN 'dbuses and' ? im getting sick of this...

>>25610972
>>25611027
I want this made.
get 'er done teegee

>>25611038
>See dbuses and
>Roll not to get mad
>1
>get mad

>>25611052
oh god... I knew i would have to....

but ..... fuck..... i know it's gonna be a glorious waste of time... ah well... I'll get typing

>>25610573
>improved familiar
>not choosing small air elemental
>not getting a tiny cushion
>not reducing yourself to tiny size
>not riding around on the cushion over your small air elemental

Step up sempai

>>25611023
....
That's the correct spelling

>>25611038
are you on a unix os?

>Walk in the street
>Get mugged by some hobo
>Roll intimidation
>Nat 20
>Everyone in a 10km radius is scared
>Even your mother
>Get sent to Bel-Air

>>25611027
atheists on 4chan have really shitty rolls apparently

>>25610972
>>25611027
GM (moot): Alright, you run into a "rate me /b/" thread.
Player 1 (Anon): But we're browsing /trv/!
moot: Yeah, make a Trolling check.
Player 2 (Tripfag): I rolled a 24, so I pass.
Anon: I roll a 45. Close, but I pass.
moot: Jan, what about you?
Player 3 (Janitor): I rolled a 98...
moot: You fall for the extremely poorly-veiled trolling and, in a fit of rage, you delete the thread causing another thread to pop up openly taunting you. You take 1d4+2 Cancer.

>>25611101
Just low intelligence modifiers

>>25607396
>Playing Halo homebrew
>Kill elite, so much blood is on me I count as blinded
>Elite starts beeping
>Roll Athletics to run away
>Nat 100
>Roll Perception to run in the right direction
>Nat 1
>Run into a wall so fast I get knocked out
>Die in plasma explosion

>>25611052
>>25610972
Needs Edgyness, Newfaggotry, OldFaggotry, meme creation, Shoop skills, Drawfag skills, Hivemind.... ummm... so much more.....

>>25611087
>no friends
>everyone is afraid of you
>feel hopeless
>start to cry
>open the door to your closet
>get on the floor in the fetal position
>do the dinosaur
you become extinct[/spoiler[

>>25611127
I would argue wis. A wise man would know just to keep their fucking mouth shut. A super intelligent man can still be a loudmouthed child (looking at you Niel De Grease Tycoon)

>>25611027
GM: You encounter a 'wat do' thread on the first page.
> I make an offhand comment about something totally unrelated
GM: Roll for derailment.
> Nat 20
GM: Thread delves into an in-depth discussion about theoretical physics. Science has advanced 30 years because of it.

>>25611116
AHAHAHAHAH cancer!! yes cancer can be your hitpoints. When you reach maximum cancer, you become a summerfag!

...or something

Rolled 2

>>25611127
rolling for troll check...

>>25611182
YOU WERE TROLLED!!!
+4 Mad points.
take D6 Cancer

Ok so the "on 4chan" RPG has to actually invlove going on 4chan.

Its like... 4chan is the Dungeon. You generate a character, and then venture forth, roleplaying your character, and rolling checks to see what you post on and how you post.

>>25611170
Effectively, yes. I'm a little sad I didn't think to roll heehee with the d20 idea, but I was thinking Cancer could be something like a Sanity system, where you have a threshold based on your cumulative Trolling, Wit, and Mad stats. But it could double just as effectively as a Health Point system with a similar threshold.

Also:
moot: After returning to page 1 on /co/, you encounter a Roasted Bread thread!
Janitor: I want to try and delete it!
Anon: No, let me try to outwit him, first.
moot: Alright, roll a Wit check against his Trolling.
Anon: Oh, shit. Nat 20.
moot: You successfully convince Roasted to give up his endless tyrade and are hailed as a hero on /co/. Screencaps of your thread are reposted for weeks.

>>25611163

And that, children, is why we have DnD 3.5 to thank for the LHC

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>>25611127
>>25611182

YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT ATHEISTS ARE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET OUR INTELLIGENCE SCORES ARE PROBABLY FAR HIGHER THAN STUPID RELIGIOUS ONES FUCK YOU THE SMARTEST PEOPLE OF ALL TIME WERE ATHEIST STUPID FUCKING CHRISTFAG

>>25611266
hmm, maybe like the following formula?

maximum cancer before raeg = (trolling X wit) - mad

the better a troll you are, the more used to cancer you are, the more witty you are, the better you can defeat cancer, and the madder you are, the easier you submit to RAEG

Rolled 2

>>25611317
forgot to roll for cancer

>>25611266
Nah. Cancer should be like the state of the board you're currently on. Too much cancer and the board becomes unlivable. It's up to YOU to defeat the trolls and save your board!

>>25611320
also, i think one of us should post a thread tomorrow about this pseudo-omebrew

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>>25606138
Nat 20 baby.

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>>25609766

>>25611317
>tfw I am an atheist
>tfw this is what leddit atheists are like
>tfw they are the 'poster boys' for atheism

Once I was playing 3.5 and our party Bard decided to write a song about our latest adventure. He rolled a nat 20 on the Perform check, so the GM decided that the song he wrote would become a big hit throughout the kingdom.

Somewhat ironically, it was such a big hit that it actually became something akin to a folk song, and thus the Bard couldn't really take the credit for writing it, so ingrained it became in the public consciousness.

>>25611320
I like it. But what would Mad be for, otherwise?
Maybe your tenacity? The ability to re-roll against failed Trolling or Wit rolls? Maybe an all-round modifier for rolls, like Luck? Or should it be scrapped and replaced with something more viable?

>>25611339
I was thinking of a way to incorporate that. I suppose "Mad" could replace the previous notion of "Cancer" and Cancer could be some tangible goal for the players to strive towards to cleanse boards.

>>25611385
It's the same with anything anon

When you think of conservative you don't think of someone trying to instill moral values, you think of some crazy bible thumper trying to get doctors put to death for abortion and taxing you to death

When you think of gays, you don't think of two normal guys sharing a beer and watching football while holding hands, you think of someone in a leotard with their dick hanging out marching down the street

Everyone thinks the worst of everyone else, EXCEPT when that group somehow includes them.

>>25611385
I hate that mentality. If there is one thing in the universe that should not have a poster boy, leader or anything of the such, it's the absence of a belief in something..

>>25611385
I know that feel bro

>>25611424
But they do believe in something.

They believe in not believing.

>>25611476
So you can't be free of belief at all? Even if you've never heard of X, you are practising a belief of not believing in X?

>>25611476
Nah. We're just repelled by the idea that you better apologize for being born, or else Jesus will torture you in Hell forever for not liking his best selling book.

>>25611400
I like that idea for mad, you succumb to cancer more easily
>FUCK THIS SHIT!

but you also get a chance to reroll, maybe on a coin flip?

>NO, FUCK YOU!

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>>25611163
>You created a "That Guy/DM" thread on /tg/. Roll 1d20 to determine the initial post's image
>Roll 1
>Your OP pic is more interesting than the proposed subject and, this being /tg/, your thread was utterly derailed. Roll 3d20 and 1d100
>Rolled 17, 8, 12
>Rolled 88
>Your thread was irrevocably, undeniably derailed after 37 posts
>Thread is now 287 posts long, and people are trying to determine how many H2O2 and hydrazine elementals are necessary to create an adamantite rocket capable of reaching relativistic speeds in D&D 3.5. You lose 25 Internets, gets +3 Mad and a temporary -2 Wis

>>25611422
>someone trying to instill moral values
...I still hate that sort of people, with all my heart.

> mfw this game gets made
> mfw it gets super popular and spreads to the other boards
> mfw you'll never be able to tell if people are genuinely posting or playing "On 4chan"

>>25611550
>people are trying to determine how many H2O2 and hydrazine elementals are necessary to create an adamantite rocket capable of reaching relativistic speeds in D&D 3.5
This may just trump the peasant rail gun in awesome 3.5 science.

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>>25611550
Oh crap, wrong image. Also, forgot:
>Player's face when

>>25611560
I never said that was good, I just meant that what people view others as is almost always different from what they view themselves as.

>>25609710
Different threads have different caps. Check with OP for this thread's max count.

>>25611571
>mfw dice rolling is put on /b/
>mfw every post has 25d100 rolled
>mfw /b/ has a new get system

>>25611603
You've already gone and rolled low. You're ensnared now.

>>25611550
I JUST LENT THAT BOOK TO A GUY IN MY PATHFINDER GROUP ON FRIDAY

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

>>25611625
I'm an anarchist and I occasionally get flashes of conspiratards in my mind when thinking of "my people". Might be internal doubts, or I just had a bad day. Could also be due to the rise of American style libertarianism.

>>25611550
>Using Internets as currency/experience
Brilliant.

>>25611549
Something like that, but you can make a Mad check to... I dunno', maybe it could be like a Will save. I'm having a hard time thinking of a use for it, but maybe that's because the stats are too limited. "Wit" and "Trolling" seem like two sides of the same coin, whereas "Mad" doesn't have a partner stat, like "Patience" or "Tenacity".

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>>25611385

>>25611664
hmm, lets pair some stats up to fix this

>Wit: your ability to think rationally and decisively
>trolling: your ability to think irrationally confrontationally

>mad: your temper and patience for faggots and cancer
>white knight: your pity for faggots and cancer
?

>>25611706
>now peace

>>25611664
>>25611723
Just counter stats with themselves.

>>25611550
DM: Alright, you've stepped through the cross board portal into /a/
> I ask for sauce
DM: Roll 3d100
> 18, 3, 84
DM: Sauce is Boku no Piko, Boku no Piko, and... Boku no Piko. Save vs. sage.

>>25611385
And Christians feel the same way about their shitty poster boys.

The ones you really gotta feel sorry for are the Muslims.

>>25611750
You mean, like, simplify them down to single stats and have low scores mean one thing and high scores mean another? I was thinking of this, but I'm still stumped as to a third stat to accompany, let's say, Wit and Mad (Trolling can be an action performed through Wit). So far I'm coming up with Wit as the Intelligence and Wisdom analog, and Mad as the Fortitude and Strength analog, but nothing for Dex or Charisma. Those two seem too specific.

Maybe it could be a two-stat system, unless each player plays a Janitor or Namefag or something, in which case something like Credibility could account for likelihood of being called a samefag, getting saged, getting trolled, etc.

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>>25611571
this is what i got so far...

>>25611790
Fuck! sage has to be one of the skills....

ahahah so much gold in this thread

perhaps some good threads should remove cancer and MADness

I think "Laughter" can be used to cancel out MADness, but not Cancer... nothing can cancel out cancer....

>>25611814
hmm... how about ToA? (time of arrival)

the longer you have been on 4chan, the better you can react to situations, and the more charismatic you become (people venerate those from 06' like they are gods anyway)

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>>25611560

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>>25611846
Can I just say, I love how /tg/ takes the simplest ideas and fucking runs with them.

Respect from /m/

>>25611846
bretty good so far

>>25611803
Christian here.

We are so sorry about whatever you see on TV.

>>25611814
Maybe have each function like a separate class? Namefags get bonuses to trolling, but penalties to getting Mad. Janitors can outrite kill a thread, for good or evil. Only anonymous can deliver.

>>25611915
thank you, good /m/usician.

we like to get shit done, and shit comes from all places.

>>25611894
It isn't edgy. Most people prefer to make up their own ru- oh I guess it is a little edgy.. still nothing wrong with refusing to take your morality from out of some book written thousands of years ago

>>25611929
atheist here, we're sorry for what you see from leddit.

>>25607391
Pffft

>>25611885
I dunno, glancing at >>25611846 I feel the Knowledge skills would cover Oldfaggotry and such pretty well. I'm glad those came up, too, because despite being here since only about '09 or '10 I pride myself on my research into old shit.

I like >>25611880's idea of a cancelling MADness/Rage, but "Laughter" might not be it. It brings to mind those "You laugh, you lose" threads and those are unpalatable.

>>25611933
I think we should get to classes after the core stats have been established, but I like what yer gettin' at.