>>25224953
blow up the world.

I was told a story once of a gnome warlock that managed to get all nations to war and kill eachother... and then do the same with all the gods. just through drunkin debauchery

We infiltrated an ogre city (we ended up becoming the mayor) by putting a gnome who stood on my shoulders , wearing a fake moustache and we put a big cloak around us. Three nat 20's during that whole trip really helped us out.

The one I GM - WFRP2e
Halfling attempted brain surgery on a dwarf and succeeded. Dwarf survived, too.

Last group I played in - Dark Heresy
Infiltration / Raid of an Enforcer base

well, my party in an all drow campaign managed to kill every member of the noble houses that ranked above our house in one day. we quickly became the number 1 house in the city. then, on that same day, our sorcerer killed Lolth, became the new Lolth, and made my cleric the new "spider pope". and our draegloth party member became one of the demon lords, killed a VERY old dragon by getting him super high on tons of drugs and shredding him to pieces.

>>25224953
Defeat a raider army of 750 men at ~lvl 10 (fallout).

>>25225110
>all drow campaign

Stopped reading there. Get back to the caves, spiderfucker.

>>25224953

Juke the Warp.

It's a long story, but surprisingly no alcohol was involved.

Our bard and wizard turned myself and two other party members into paratroopers with a combination of gaseous form, glass bottles, some flying, and the worst throwing arm I've ever seen. Two of us actually made it to the ground too!

>>25225170
son, you have no idea how accurately that describes my character

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Retrieved a Goblin who broke a contract with the Devil and was thusly chained inside a portal between two versions of Hell.

Best NPC I ever made.

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Have some awesomeness from a previous thread.

As for my group, when I was younger I played in a party where I killed a 14 HD dragon's ass at level 4 with nothing more than a pair of tree feather tokens, a cave, a single readied action, and a really, really lucky Reflex save.

>>25224953
God I loved Sun Vulcan.

>>25224953
Be a monk lvl 7 and defeat single handedly a 6 headed Pyro Hydra

>>25225311

>tfw i was in that thread

I took my own screencaps but I don't remember what became of them. Afraid I may have accidentally deleted them.

>>25225332
Sun Vulcan has my favourite suit designs. Has it ever been subbed?

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>>25225332
Sun Vulcan is the single greatest Sentai team to ever live.

>>25225374

Yep, Sun Vulcan has complete subs.

killing an omnipotent being. we could have succeeded too if it wasn't for THAT GM

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>>25225445
It's you again.
For fucks sake.
Go home kid, it's past your bedtime.

>>25225311
Well?

Post the rest, mah nigga.

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>>25225445
ITS THIS GUY AGAIN

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>>25225476
I have it.

>>25225476

its in suptg

>>25225445

>players attacked an omnipotent being
>the DM is That DM for making him powerful

>>25225445
...son, do you understand the meaning of 'omnipotent'?

>>25225475
>>25225493

Is he a repeat offender? on what offence?

>>25225445
Go home Jeff, it's past your bedtime.

>>25225531
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/25064626/

>>25225445
This reminds me of that guy that totally wanted to jump over a "unbridgeable chasm" (DM words), somehow he went mad because he died.

>>25225445
>The GM made a post-apocolypse God War setting. (Awesome)
>The PCs decided the gods were doing crap all so they would kill them all, and proceed to make quick work of several.(Awesome)
>They get it into their heads that killing the biggest most impossibly strong God of gods is the best.(Idea so bad it is awesome)
>GM established that God is not present and impossible to destroy as part of the setting. (Fine. Setting is setting)
>PCs, who failed to defeat certain clusters of gods, continue with impossible plan by calling out God by killing preists.(Awesomely stupid)
>PCs manage to kill messenger of God telling them to back off and basically tell God it's him or them. God's avatar shows up and honors them by giving them the death they asked for. (Predictable)
>Player tells story to tg, expecting them to agree they should have killed God. (just sad really)
tl;dr the thread >>25225562 linked

With my current Dnd 3.5 game group, we have a paladin who just got his own paladin horse.

When we arrived at the castle, a group of hill giants leading by a stone giant are doing siege battle against the castle. The giant's leader proved to be quit smart and know about simple siege tactics.

The paladin's horse want him to charge in the battle and paladin agreed to charge in but problem is that he did it by HIMSELF.

Rest of the group was unprepared but we decided to charge in too. Meanwhile the paladin successful lance charged the stone giant but he accidentally fall of his saddle. Despite his dark fate, we somehow rescued him and rest of us enter the fight.

As the bard I used Invisibility spell to sneak closer the giant leader and cast Grease on him. That was quit hilarious as the giant leader tried to raise up and at same time I prevented him to give further command orders.

After the giant leader finally get help by other giants, I cast Grease again. I feel very trollish by the moment.

After the epic battle, we defeated all giants but one of our party member got killed. We did it pretty good despite being lv 5.

>>25225562
>>25225609

Hahaha oh wow, that is gold

I was able to drive using my mouth instead of my hands and kill alot of guys

>>25224953
Opened a portal to the elemental plane of water and used it as a jacuzzi.

Started a methlab to help pay for their gear in Delta Green, started a helicopter touring company to as a cover. Got millions of dollars worth of military hardware, but mostly used a cheap homemade flame thrower. Did not fuck up until the end.

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Tricked a Pit Fiend into aiding the party.

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>>25227618
Shit sorry 'bout the thumbnail

Also, was playing in a pathfinder nautical campaign where the party's unoptimized level 4 barbarian critted so hard he one-shot a megalodon (CR 9 Gargantuan shark, and we were fighting it in the ocean)

The PC's + a few NPC's decide on taking on literally thousands enemy fighters in the single greatest last stand in post apocylptic history.

My players convinced a cult of lizardfolk to worship their gnome sorcerer (weird trend, these gnomes...) and had an army of lizardfolk armed and at their disposal.

>>25227709
>thousands of enemy fighters
>fighters

Doesn't sound too impressive to me.

>>25224953
Destroyed all civilization.

Yes OP. We very futilely attempted to hold off an oncoming apocalypse. Which was set off by an asshole member of the party.

>>25224953
I have a few insane moments from the last two Exalted campaigns I was in.

There was the time we propelled our airship through a sea of magic-draining crap using our main laser cannon and a makeshift solar sail to propel us through at the speed of light.

Then there was the time we escaped from the underworld (and the labyrinth, come to think of it) by riding on the back of a resurrected primordial as it was being reborn.

There was also the time I escaped from Mask of Winters by running really fast. I mean, I think we calculated something like 1200mph. Rocket boots were also involved.

There was the time our night caste beat the maidens of secrets and endings at cards.

Come to think of it, we couldn't go 2 sessions without doing something insane while playing Exalted. I mean, we broke an artifact belonging to one of the Yozi and then spelled out with sorcery "you mad, bro?". We stole a peach of immortality because we were bored. We killed a deathlord by calling him a chicken and daring him to jump into the void.

Threw every type of kryponite in one big clump at Superman and Bizarro grappling each other. We spent the rest of the session looking up the type of kryptonite and seeing how they effected each of them (one way for supes, the opposite for Bizarro).

>>25228199

That must have been... interesting. What effect did the kryptonite that flipped Superman's good/evil switch do to Bizarro?

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>>25225727
Are you .... retarded?

>>25228488

I THINK he's trying to say the Pally Leeroy Jenkins'd into a bunch of enemies far stronger than them. Through his heroic and antagonistic use of magic spells, the Bard saved the day, though they mourned a fallen party member.

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>>25228522

>>25227970
I wanna play exalted now

I would run it but i honestly do not know how to handle pc's of that power level

>>25225433
IT better not be by TV-Nihon

>>25227970
>I mean, we broke an artifact belonging to one of the Yozi and then spelled out with sorcery "you mad, bro?".

Literally the undead super gods of death..........and you just steal his shit, and then mock with, with a lolitrollu phrase?

That is glorious.

>>25228581
Gao Soul Forever. They're a good group.

I was running a kinda-sorta Cold War Dive Into The Sky game. Kinda-sorta because of the impending alien invasion.

At one point the players got into a final battle with one of the aliens. In that fight they broke:

>An experimental military laser
>a cargo plane
>a runway
>an experimental combat robot
>the alien’s soul

This took about ten minutes IC. Kinda glad but also a little disappointed they didn't break the nuclear reactor...

>>25225609

Kind of dumb. Ommipotent god should've just made them cease to exist at all times and in all dimensions. Hell have him do it before they killed the priests so it wouldn't have to bother with that shit.

>>25228579

Honestly as long as you got players that make backstory games like exalted/Nobilis and the like play themselves.

It is much easier to be proactive in games like that then most.

>challenge a wizard (who we did not know was a wizard) to a fight
>wizard, who is female, transforms into dragon and uses dragon breath
>roll two perfect dodges
>Run down a dirt road in a corn field while dragon fire makes popcorn go off everywhere
>hide in a barn
>Realize barn is filled with not-marijuana
>Run out naked and act like a fool to get dragons attention
>Dragon sets barn on fire
>we remain in it and hide
>dragon enters barn
>we set bales on fire
>things start to get really blurry as we all start getting really high
>successfully stave off passing out once
>wake up hours later all naked with beer barrels half empty on a wagon, everyone humanoid again, other character's dick inside wizard's ass
>confused redneck gnome: "Just what are ya'll doin out here, then?"
>barn smolders and collapses in background suddenly

>>25225562
Wait just a goddamn moment.

Someone actually thought they could kill Yahweh and tried to do so?

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>>25229074
hah

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>>25229243
Yes. Some poor, poor, poor fool tried challenging the most powerful and notoriously hardass character known to Man.

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>>25229243
What fools.

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>>25229322
Well, he was rather insufferable...

>>25224953
We were the Phantom Beast Star Rangers.
The enemy disabled Phantom God Robo, Blazing Manticore Robo and three of our sub-mechs.

So we raided a military depot for C4, scaled the enemy Shadow of the Colossus style and packed its collar with the C4.

Then we detonated it and blew his head off.

>>25224953
Stole the Sun Vulcan Ranger Keys.

>>25229322
What?! you mean someone picked a fight with chuck norris?!

>>25229458
GET OUT

>>25229074
Next time on the further adventures of pippin and merriadoc...

>forgot to mention both of our characters were halflings

Boy howdy I tell you what, I've had some hard laughs at times in my various games.

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>>25229446
Basco please go

Gliding into a barrier, completely alone (six of them), into a city controlled by millions of enemies.

Awoke a sleeping god by irritating him until his coma broke.

>>25227748
Let me tell the tale of the greatest fight what ever lived, his name was Michael.

Now you see, I was running a few games for some local kids and teenagers, D&D 3.5, and decided we should have a grand old adventure. I explain to them all how to roll up a character. One player, he's semi experienced, asks me to come over and watch him roll in case he gets outrageous stats.

I stand and watch my young charge roll his 4d6 to determine stats, he rolls 3 sixes and a four. Then four sixes. And never once did he roll less than 3 sixes. His character I had just watched him roll had an 18 in every stat. He made his character a human fighter, trying to under power it.

I once had a character who was a human fighter, I had been known to use greatswords as throwing knives because I could, I even backhanded a man's head off of his shoulders at one point but Michael was different. You see, Michael was the first fighter I had seen that had survived a one on one fight with a level 10 werewolf while he was at level one. That day Michael and the others learned what a werewolf looks like when you split it in half. He ripped it in half from the jaw down /tg/, with his bare hands. I always liked fighters, I couldn't tell why. I think Michael may teach me once more why I used to play them, perhaps its because he doesn't need insane magical powers.

>>25229819
Not much was known about Michael, his parents were long forgotten. He could not recall how he had been brought into the world, from the age of 4 he had raised himself. He believed he had only survived because the gods had watched over him, he thought of becoming a paladin but said their code was too restrictive to allow for proper justice and following of a god's will. Michael did not believe he was some chosen one, rather he believed he had a duty to be what every man should be.

Michael was well versed in nearly all subjects and very adept in all skills and arts. He had never needed to be professionally trained, he made his living on hunting those that would harm the weak and killing them. However Michael also never viewed himself as a hero, just another servant of the gods.

Eventually Michael met up with the other 3 members of the party, a ranger, a rogue, and a warlock. The ranger had been hearing reports of werewolf attacks and had ventured into the nearby town to request aid in hunting them down. The rogue was in it for the money(seriously, the kid is the most annoying thing I've ever had to sit at a table with. He didn't have a backstory either). As for the warlock? Well the warlock hated being alone for any amount of time. And finally Michael, he joined in because "Man or beast, nobody is safe from the justice of the gods. We will put a stop to this, you have my word and my sword."

>>playing yakfolk martial artist (pathfinder monk archetype)
>>use find weakness to punch through most problems
>>at lvl10 part assaults bbeg's citadel of ominousness
>>get separated from rest of the party by trap
>>fight through dungeon and a shitload of minions, make it bbeg's chamber. No door, requires phase step to pass through
>>ask DM what the wall is made of
>>adamantine. DM is punishing me for punching through too many walls in the past. Yak needs to roll nat 17 or better to use find weakness
Meanwhile...
>>rest of party captured and at bbeg's mercy inside the chamber
>>he's monologuing about insects and doom and whatnot
>>*WHAM*
>>everyone turns to the wall that leads to the outer hallway
>>*WHAM*
>>*WHAM*crack*
>>wall begins to crack and shatters on the 4th blow
>>Yak stands in the makeshift doorway, panting, fists bloody, and does the only logical thing one can do in his situation
>>yells "OH YEEAAH!"
>>not sure how to react, bbeg just falls to his knees and begins to cry

All in all it was a good run. Worth noting that once the party was split the DM made me move to a different room, so no one knew what was going on till they heard the wall coming down.

>>25229984
Well, the party goes off into the woods, eventually happening across a large manor. They enter the manor expecting it to be deserted but inside they found it to be quite well furnished. The ranger left his companion at the door and the party proceeded inwards, after a small exploration Michael had revealed a secret passage to a large trophy room, filled with several corpses and human remains. It was then that Michael, only Michael, heard something run out of the manor. Naturally he chased it, arriving well before the rest of the party.

It was then that the werewolf attacked, Michael was taken from behind. He had been severely bitten across his neck but luckily he had not yet been infected with lycanthropy. The fight went on for a while, neither combatant able to land a hit. As the werewolf finally managed its second bite things were looking bad for Michael. Finally, after maybe another 20 minutes of no hits Michael was bitten again, killed and infected.

>>25230092
For he love of g8d, post faster.

>>25230092
Now, in my campaigns I run a little thing called divine intervention rolls. My DM did it as well and I just liked it for when death did not seem fitting. For each level you gained a single point on a scale for how likely you were to be resurrected. Michael is level 1, he has to roll a 1 on the percentile dice to resurrect. He does.

As Michael stands back up, at -23 HP, he begins glowing with a holy aura. He can hear the voice of Heironeous in the back of his mind, urging him to finish the fight. Michael's wounds begin to seal and his strength slowly comes back to him as the glow fades. The werewolf attempted to leap at Michael once more, he asks if he can roll a counter to see if he can just end it there. I let him.

He rolls a natural 20.

Michael shoots his arms out as fast as lightning, grabbing the werewolf's lower and upper jaw. He tries to rip it apart, I tell him to roll it. He rolls two more natural 20s, his arms pulse as he puts more stress on them than what the human body should be capable of handling. The werewolf was torn in two while howling out its dying breaths. The rest of the party arrived soon after. The rogue did some things to the corpse but this isn't about him.

Finally, Michael looked at the party, smiling. As he falls to his knees, slowly bleeding out again he sings a song he had learned from his books as a child. The party dragged him back to a church, hoping the clerics could heal him.

>>25230231
/clapclapclap

>>25225609
If they successfully murdered a fuckton of gods and their priests, and seriously piss off the most powerful of the gods, then they should have been happy. Even Old Man Henderson died at the end, but that didn't make him any less of a legend.

>>25228764
The DM didn't want the players getting pissy.

>>25230231
When they got him to the church Michael had been dead for an hour. The clerics at the church had no clue what he had done and the party, for some reason, refused to tell them. They were probably afraid that the clerics would reject him for possibly being infected. Anyways, a few first aid rolls and some holy magic later Michael coughed up enough blood to make a vampire blush and slowly began breathing again. He looked around, taking in the sights of the church and then looked to his party members.

"Oh hi guys," he said, wiping some of the blood off of his face, "how long was I dead?"

"About an hour," the ranger explained to him.

Michael had begun glowing at that point, because I figured that if he could survive that long he should be given something as a souvenir. His lycanthropy was cured, or rather the curse was sealed into a necklace he wore with the symbol of Heironeous on it. He wears it to this day but never uses its power.

Finally Heironeous speaks to him once more for a short while, what he said was simple.

"Son, you've made your father proud. You've stood as a man without someone there to guide you and finally you have awakened as the man everyone should strive to be. Go Michael, and be the hero this world needs."

The party of course asked Michael why he was smiling when he climbed off the table.

"My dad loves me." He says, grabbing his armor from the ground nearby.

"So who's up for an adventure?"

And so they're adventuring, this will be great.

>>25228764
>>25230361
It was guessed, and DM confirmed, that at that point he thought they'd throw a hissy fight if they didn't actually get to fight the Big G.

They complained anyway, but whaddyagonnado?
>>25230383
>Clap clap clap

>>25230399
They were so determined to kill YHVH they ganked their own healer when said healer objected

>>25230451
Yep, I was there (in the thread, at least).

It was hilarious.

DnD 2nd Ed.

Originally, the campaign started with the party as a bunch of psionic human and dwarven characters who lived low-key lives in an alternate universe Turkey. Secret police go about arresting and executing "Mind People".

So we decided to escape and start hijacking ships in Constantinople until we could run off to other parts of the world, which also had their secret Mind police.

Halfway through the current story, our drug addicted/crazy physician went off solo and was confronted by these secret police, only to find that they were Illithids. He decided that his best chance to fend off the creature was to gather "...a fistful of Roofies" and shove it down the tentacle monster's throat. We have not seen that Illithid since.

Thus was the Roofies campaign born.

But it gets better. Later on, We infiltrate a ship and intend to interrogate the captain and maybe someone else. We plan on making the captain say he wants private time with his favorite cabin boy and whatever torture sounds from the captain's room, the crew assumes it's some sort of hardcore role play bdsm.

our psychotic physician is captured and we have to rescue him. This involves killing scientists. Scientists who have cut open his brain for experimentation. After dealing with them, we carve a penis and the symbol of Chaos into their bodies.

We try to go into the ship's bridge, filled with enemies who have been KO'd by knockout gas grenade we threw in. Our other crazy ass player, who is NOT the physician, decides to shoot a rocket launcher into the room AFTER I went in. The only sane man in the group manages to put up an inertial barrier that reduces the damage from the rocket by 90%. And my successful save roll halves that as well. I survived a rocket to the leg with 2 damage.

The doctor levels up to gain life drain and death field. He says he's found a new drug: the life energy of people.

>>25227657
trolololol

I forget how it started, but there's an in-joke around my group of me critting stairs.

I remember it started in a Fallout themed campaign. I think I as trying to leap down some stairs or something and tripped down them, so I made an attack against them in frustration and rolled a Nat 20.

Recent incident was in our survival horror game(that I asked tg's help for regarding a Lucha Libre character a few days ago, thanks a lot) where I tried to go down a staircase I found to be endless. After going back up to where I came from(I went down about 2-3 flights of stairs, found no exits, went back up one flight and was back where I started). I ecided to punch the stairs, once again, in frustration after someone makes a "Anon's gonna crit the stairs" comment. Nat 20. DM decides the endless stairs just collapsed into a bottomless void.

>>25230399
>they'd throw a hissy fight
>>25230451
>they ganked their own healer
Less they, more Jeff.

>>25230451

I was in that thread, but I missed where the dm came in to say his piece or the part about their healer. Man this dude is comedy gold. I hope he keeps coming around so we can continue to laugh in his face.

>>25230666
Heh.
>>25230714
Well, yes, that's right. Jeff was the only one posteriorly-peeved enough to come here and complain, at least.
>>25230720
I've been in two threads now, where it -might- have been him, coming in to whine for one post. I'm not entirely sure it was, but it's still amusing.

>Entering dragon's cave
>Find ghost of dragon slayer
>Take his armor and magical sword
>Get hypnotized into thinking i'm a master swordsman
>Have my golem throw me at the dragon, thrusting my new blade
>Hit in the head
>Doesn't peirce the skin
>"Don't i get to roll for the magic effects?"
>"Sure"
>Nat20
>A lighting bolt that could crumble a mountain issues from the sword's tip
>Boils the dragon's blood

>>25224953
Here's an insane stunt our rogue pulled off:
>Fighting a group of Drow within a fortress made of bones
>Drow necromancer uses an item that lets him teleport via shadows, he uses it to warp to to a fireplace in the next room and climbs down a concealed ladder to the ground floor
>Rogue does what any sensible halfling would do in this situation and dives down the fireplace chimney
>Tumbles at the bottom and fires an exploding bolt from his crossbow
>Necromancer is reduced to giblets

>>25224953
Use an invisible flying ship to sneak attack a dragon.

>be hapless nerd cleric
>Do reasonably well but get picked on a lot
>Visiting uncle, a well to do hierarch
>Survive assassination attempt that was aimed at me, uncle dies
>find out that uncles position is hereditary
>Am way to young and inexperienced for this kind of post
>spend entire night wandering from bar to bar in a drunken haze trying to figure out 'what its all about' and whether to flee the city or stay and accept the post
>Be found passed out in the street with liquor flasks in both hands and holy symbol lodged in rump
>Roll a miraculous disguise attempt and manage to hide my identity
>make way back to the palace
>pass a constitution check to avoid throwing up suddenly when given some more liquor
>pass a dexterity check to dress self without falling down
>Manage to walk upright and straight for the ceremony
>Belch suddenly in the middle of taking holy offices, manage to play it off
>masterfully throw up in an urn on the way out during heavy singing without anyone noticing me throwing up
>do all this at moments when anything heretical would have been taken as a sign of unworthiness and resulted in death
>hire the party to sneak a bunch of prostitutes into the temple
>end that session with a benny hill style sexy party

We eventually did get revenge on my character's uncle's killer but that was later in the game.

>>25225433
>>25228581
>>25228655
It was subbed into Spanish and aired on Hawaiian TV when I was a kid back in the 90s.

>>25225400
Doesn't GaoBlue do this a lot as well? I wonder if its a reference.

Bumping

>>25229600
Did they ever say what Basco was going to do with all those ranger keys?

>>25236779

I think he wanted to give them to the Zangyack Empire for cash or a planet or something. That, or lure the Gokaigers out to capture them and collect that bounty instead. Remember that the bounty increased to "Unlimited" later on in the series.

>>25236868
I think that scene happened before the bounty was that high.