>>25180319
You just blew my mind...

Fuck /pol/, this is the true red pill right here

>>25180405

Dude what

>>25180319
mind=blown

They kidnap the princess for no other reason than to get a right proper WAAAGH going with the mushroom kingdom?

>>25180580

Well, kidnapping the princess means that them humies send out their toughest boyz to have a good scrap...

mother of god

>>25180626
This is the plot of your next Rogue Trader game. You earn points for the amount of Mario references you can drop before the players notice what's going on.

>>25180678

I'd play this.

My god, this explains why Bowser Jr. has no mother! Bowser spored and Jr. is the only one that grew to be a koopa! The rest must have died or been squigs or something.

>>25180678
The funny part is that could actually take a while.

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>>25180678

We need a drawfag to make a pic of Bowser leading a charge of koopas screaming WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

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>>25180626

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... shit, THAT'S why none of the Koopas' tech makes any sort of sense.

Why do their airships fly? Because Bowser goes "FUCK YOU, WHY /SHOULDN'T/ THEY FLY."

Why are the Bullet Bills able to do what they do? Because the Koopas painted faces on them, so "FUCK YOU, THAT MAKES THEM SHOOTY-ER."

Why is it that in every single game, Goombas and Koopas always seem to pop back up in random places of the world map, even when they have no reason to be there (i.e. Super Mario RPG, or the other games where the Koopas aren't the main antagonists)? Because those were sites where Mario stomped the Koopas before, and their descendants literally grow out of the ground, like orks.

Even the color red has significance to the Koopas- the red ones THINK faster. That's why green-shelled Koopas run off cliffs, while the red-shelled ones think fast enough to stop themselves from going over. And that's why the red-flashing Bullet Bills from the earlier games are able to home in on Mario. (Hell, this may be why the Koopas are more terrified of Mario than they are of Luigi: the red one's smarter, the green one's nothing but dumb cannon fodder!).

Hell, the Koopas are even capable of going into space.

It's only a matter of time before the world of the Mushroom Kingdom is overrun by the green-shelled wave...

>>25180957
They look more like SC marines.

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>>25180887
Riding on a warbike

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So what does this make Mario?

>>25180965
Dont forget that goombas are fungoids much like orks and bigger bullets make bigger explosions for no fucking reason. And lets not forget how their Bosses are either bigger versions of regular enemies and when you defeat them, they have a tendency to come back, except on fire or something.

>>25181009
He uses weird sorcery and has a love interest, so he can't be an Astartes. Maybe just a guardsman with a good set of brass balls under him?

>>25180965

The koopas that aren't a part of Bowser's WAAAGH are like feral orks.

>>25181056
Toads are the cannon fodder guardsman, Mario is Inquisitor.

>>25180987
Yeah, but I can't found my mario commissar. And that make me sad.

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>>25181107
Here you go.

>>25181080

Mario is the one of the last few humans. The Toad race are like tau. You never see evil toads. Goombas are like nids. Simple, designed for eating, and come in many variations.

>>25181009
the cape is a jump pack

>>25181152
No.

>>25181131
I was thinking of one where he BLAM a Toad guard by jumping on his face before charging kooporks screaming for the princess, but ok.

>>25181216

Counterpoint argument? Or just reasonless disagreement?

>>25181009
Arch-Militant with loads of flamer and a jump-pack.

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>>25181250
Finally get it.

>>25181258
Just no.

>ITT nobody played Paper Mario and saw that Koopas and Goombas live peacefully and only the bad ones join Bowser

>>25180703
Actually IIRC according to cannon Princess Peach is Bowser Jr mother, so yeah that's a thing...

>>25181368
No, Bowser just told him as much. She never denied it, but she never confirmed it, either.

>>25181368
Im pretty sure Bowser told him that was a lie at the end of Super Mario Sunshine

>>25181368
If you're talking about Super Mario Sunshine, its revealed at the end of the game that Bowser lied to Jr. about Peach being his mother, and Jr. knew all along, but wants her to be his mother.

>>25181445
I can confirm this. After the bossfight with Mario, Bowser and Bowser Jr talked, stating that Peach isn't his mother.

>>25181340

>koopas

Feral orks

>goombas

Nids disconnected from the Hivemind

>>25181540
I figured goombas were more like gretchin or squigs.

>>25181056
Hang on, Mario looks outwardly human, but the games prove that he doesn't have a human physiology. He has super strength (he can jump bout five times his own height), super endurance (His fists are tougher than bricks), kills without remorse (all those bricks are people and critters that have been transformed, it's in the fluff for the first game, look it up), when he eats parts of those people he gains a variety of weird and wonderful powers, he suposedly comes from another world, he takes all his orders from a smaller weaker inferior race and he's paid for his heroics in food (the only reward he ever gets for saving Peach is cake).

Guys I think Mario might be a Kroot...

>>25181368

Bowser spored, all of them died except one. Peach found it and raised it, thinking it was a flower. It grew into Bowser Jr, he stole the paintbrush from E.gad, and ran into the wilderness, where he was found by Bowser and recognized as his son, as well as an excellent fighter.

>>25181428
>>25181445
>>25181478
>>25181483
I still like how she has to think about it.

>>25181603
stop making sense!

>>25181483
>>25181428
>>25181445
>>25181478

Fair enough I only played on a mate's Gamecube so I never got to the end of the game

>>25181596

In the peaceful world of Nintendio, there are many factions. The most powerful of these are the Toads, which are a race symbiotic with mushrooms and fungus. They are a peaceful race, living in small villages and farming their fungus. However, there are those that would kill them, so they have engineered a form of protection.

(Cont)

>>25181691

There are those toads who volunteer to undergo an incredibly painful, disfiguring, permanent process in order to protect their kingdom. This process transforms the toads into big, hairy, simple warriors, constantly battling for their kingdom. They are treated like small children, rewarded with cake and shiny coins. They are often brutal to those that would harm those they see as friends. This process wipes the subjects mind of memories. It was quickly deemed inhumane, and banned.

(Cont)

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http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Super_Mario_RPG
>Just throwing that out there.

>>25180319
Or the Orkz are inspired by the Koopas.

>>25181804

In the far future of Nintendio, the above process has been tested many times, to see if it could produce warriors in a less horrific manner. It was discovered it worked on children. 4 children were snatched from an orphanage, and a fifth from the streets nearby. These children were operated on, and 3 succeses were made. The two male succeses were nicknaed Mario and Luigi, as that was the first sounds they made. The 2 male failures were named Wario and Waluigi, as they resembled twisted versionso the successes. The fifth child was revealed to be the Princess, and thankfully she was a success.

(Cont)

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>>25181944
You're missing one.

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>>25181980
Make that two, unless you're going to get into more intricate reasoning for the second one. I mean, she's the closest thing the Mushroom universe has to a deity.

That's not counting all the humans from Mario Golf/Tennis, either.

>>25181944

The princess was a success, and as such the scientist was not killed. However, in a fitof rage, a mob of Toads forced the scientist to undergo his own procedure. This mutation was named E.Gad, and it continued to make inventions, albeit in a fashion no-one could replicate. The princess was later crowned ruler of the Mushroom kingdom, and she appointed the two successes as knights.

The procedure was codenamed "Star children" and used make more mutations in the future, albiet less succesful ones.

>>25182037

>They made them in their gods image

>>25181980
>>25182037

I'm getting to that

As the toads celebrated the crowning of their new princess, the two semi-successes looked on in jealousy.

By this point, many star children had been made. In particular, a monkey and Yoshi had been operated on. Anyway, as more "Humans", as they called themselves, were made, they began to form their own semi-race. They bred, they made villages, and they elected a kayor of their small town. In this town, a small girl was born. She grew to a young age, and the only thing really noteworthy of her was her obsession with the stars. One day, she found a Luma, a race of star beings, and the rest you know. Now, back to Wario and Waluigi
They were jealous of the toads and their way of life, so they struck a deal with Bowser, leader of the Koopas.

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>>25181540
Feral Orks and disconnected Nids don't live in peaceful communities and get along with other races.
This whole idea is stupid.

>>25182201

If Bowser would kidnap the princess and make a "semi-success" version of her like them, then the two would give bowser a portion of their riches, and construct metal automatons to serve him. As Bowser loudly proclaimed that "His boyz was da bestest at stealin and makin thins" he would do it. They kidnapped the princess, and a portion of the Star child procedure, and ran off. Bowser set his best Magikoopas to work, and they created Daisy. Soon after, mario and luigi rescued peach, and returned to the castle. This began a long streak of kidnappings, as bowser realized that by kidnapping theq princess, he could get a good fight out of the mario bros.

>>25182222

If you have a better idea...

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>>25182320
>Daisy is a Koopa plot
...Huh.

Am I missing anything/something you'd like to see added?

How do yo update the sup/tg/ archive?

>>25182320
im liking this, very much so, daisy always felt like she was up to something to me

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>>25182447
She rules the desert kingdom of Sarasaland and is both Peach's BFF and (presumed to be) Luigi's lover. She's a tomboy and is harder to push around than the more genteel and girly Peach (while Peach wears a dress during sporting events, Daisy wears short shorts). Beyond that, there's not really much to her.

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Picturafied incase anyone wants it.

>>25182447
Thing is I always got the impression that Daisy actually liked Luigi, they seem to get on really well, where as Peach always seems to want to spend as little time alone with Mario as possible (hell she even invites the guy that supposedly kidnaps her to all their fun sporting days out).

On the other hand Daisy being a genetic experiment might explain the third eye on the back of her head...

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>>25182524
Yeah, Daisy is actually relatively open about her mad affection for the green machine. Hell, in her stage in Mario Kart Wii, the major setpieces of the racecourse are giant golden statues of Luigi and Daisy (and their baby forms) dancing together.

>>25182517
She's Mario's side bitch.

>>25182524
hmm the plot thickens
while daisy must follow the orders of her master, bowser, she cant contain her love for luigi, the only one of the two brothers to actually have a personallity, and is having an internal struggle as to whether or not she will be do as her master commands, or break free and be with her love

>>25182599
as if a fat Italian plumber gets any at all

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>>25182599
They shared a kiss at the end of Super Mario Land, but nothing ever came of it.

>>25182631

I thought it was more of a "If you make a mutant version of peach, well give you these bob-ombs" deal between Wario and Bowser.

>>25182681
ok then interchange "bowser" with "wario"

>>25182702

Wario, being a twisted version of Mario, wanted a twisted version of peach to add to the mirror effect. But it backfired when she went for Luigi instead of him.

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>>25182749
Mona canonically has a crush on Wario.
So I guess it worked.
Eventually.

What about boos?

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>>25182857
Spirits of the dead that refuse to leave. Duh.

>>25182857
Manifestation of the Warp.

Vigilant observation causes them to wane, but they wax when left to their own devices.