>>25060085
-----------------------------------------------
Ogir Place (+Floating, +Limbs, +Sandstorm Drill, +Magma Shield, +Steering Wheel)
-----------------------------------------------
Population: 153/153 ogres (6 dead), 84/84 elves, ∞/∞ patchwings, 50/50 Solar Skellies
- [Landmarks] Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry [50% mined]
- [Food] Cacti(-ow), Fungi, Wheat, Potatoes, Ravager Meat, Milk; Fair Growth (+32/turn)
- [Resources] Hellfire Energy [Captive Archdemon Lord], Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles
- [Diplomacy] Scaratone [ALLIED; Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves [UNITED]; Achievement Hunter Dwarves [???]

- [Key Items] Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I), Crazy Ghost's Books
- [Arms] Cactus Maces, Iron Scimitars, Heat-Seeking Rokkit Launchers, Short-Ranged Bow+Arrow, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage
- [Vocations] OGRES: Geo (∞), Berserks (4), BMasters, Rockkits, Riders, Heallusionist
- [Beasts] Giant Bats (trained), Naked Mole Ravagers (trained)
- [Settlement] Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, Anchor/Staircase, THE FLAMES OF HELL

- [NPCs] Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy, +WE ALL GEOMANCERS NOW, +Ruoumoko], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Beast Whisperer, Big Vulture], Celicia Silverstone [???], Vultan [???]
- [Tech] Fire, Fish, Agriculture[+Protection], Cooking, Tea, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships, Ur-Cartography
- [Magic] Geomancy X, Healing I, Illusion I, Necromancy I, Time I, Climate Control 0
- [Economy] System=Barter; Currency=Shit
- [Justice] Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best
-----------------------------------------------

ROLLS
>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY
>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>90-98: Stupidly Successful
>60-90: Successful
>40-60: Adequate
>10-40: Not So Good
>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT
>1: LUCKY STUPID

(Cont.)

Hey, I litterally just got done reading all of the previous submissions and I find myself being unsure how the rolling works.

You ask for a 1d100 dice, but can't people just cheat and use a 1d10 dice for the Lucky Stupid roll?

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>>25060097
OKAY, so I normally don't do this kind of thing, but tonight's thread is going to be different from the usual sort of thing I do- instead of being a normal update, this will be dedicated to the following:

1) Clearing out the terrifying backlog of bonus scenes that you guys requested,
2) Throwing out a few interludes or what-ifs of various states of canon/non-canon, and
3) Possibly a question and answer session once things wrap up.

'Course, one of the things that WILL happen as usual is this: voting for which of these previously-requested scenes gets rolled out first, just for starters:

BONUS SCENES
[ ] [BAR] An ogre, an elf, a scaratone, a dorf, a patchwing, and an undead skeleton walk into a bar...
[ ] [TSUNDERE] One Elf and one Demon settle an age-old rivalry.
[ ] [CAVALRY] The ogres start messing with their beasts of burden.
[ ] [DUEL] Two ogre geomancers start krumping each other. Reality cries.

Rolled 56

>>25060180
Well, the thing is, you roll dice by slapping dice+1d100 into the email field, and the dice results go into the next post.

... and when looking at that post, EVERYONE can see what kinda dice that person used by hovering their cursor over that poster's name, like so. So if someone uses the wrong dice, people will figure that out real fast.

>>25060256
Ah, thank you very much.

Unfortunately I won't be able to participate just yet so I'll just follow the archives. Have fun today!

>>25060213
[x] [BAR] An ogre, an elf, a scaratone, a dorf, a patchwing, and an undead skeleton walk into a bar

Let's start with a little comedy!

>>25060213
[X] [TSUNDERE] One Elf and one Demon settle an age-old rivalry.

>>25060213
[X] [BAR] An ogre, an elf, a scaratone, a dorf, a patchwing, and an undead skeleton walk into a bar...

>>25060213
[x] [TSUNDERE] One Elf and one Demon settle an age-old rivalry.

Rolled 38

>>25060213
>[ ] [BAR] An ogre, an elf, a scaratone, a dorf, a patchwing, and an undead skeleton walk into a bar...

The bar explodes.

>>25060213
These are all awesome. Seriously, how could you possibly make me choose...

>[] [DUEL]
By a fraction of a hair. That said, I'm totally fine with all the options.

>>25060213
[][BAR]

I just went back and reread the previous threads and I suddenly saw all the hints about the kobolds coming up as a new rival race. I always thought those descriptions referred to the ogres....

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Rolled 85

>>25060213
>[X] [TSUNDERE]
>AND THE BAR OPTION ACTUALLY WON WHOOPS so that's next

Given their shared histories, elves and demons normally get along about as well as a bonfire and a crate full of dynamite (i.e. the immediate area will be engulfed in a series of fiery cataclysmic explosions and almost everyone involved will probably die horrible deaths). Thus, under NORMAL circumstances, Celicia Silverstone has ample reason to shoot angry glares at the demon lord currently entombed in the bowels of Ogir Place, especially since she can't really shoot angry bullets at him without disappointing Boss Bawss Fistboss.

Right now, however, the look she's giving Cuddles loaded with a mere 40% malice. The remaining 60% is nothing more than confusion. "... a contest," she deadpans.

"Precisely- a contest of inspiring feelings of endearment through rapid attitude changes, shifting from belligerent and cold to warm and caring. You are the leader of your ill-begotten squad of pointy-eared, effeminate nancy-boys, are you not?" Cuddles the Demon Lord sneers, a trifle smugly.

And why wouldn't he be feeling smug? Looking at Celicia, the battleworn, chain-smoking, gravelly-voiced hardass that she is, Cuddles /knows/ that he can out-tsundere her by a landslide. Even though he's been captured and belittled- no, ESPECIALLY because these are such trying times for him- Cuddles simply cannot pass up a single chance to prove that demons are the superior race, and to boost his own flagging spirits by-

Celicia's reply is an instant deadpan. "No," she growls, giving him a half-lidded incredulous stare.

There's a frozen moment of mortified silence.

"'No'? 'NO'?" Cuddles sputters, his eyes going bloodshot. "What would your underlings say?? I, of all people, know how the elven military mind works, and how you tree-hugging cretins do nothing but jockey for advantageous positions! If you do not want to risk losing face, you cannot back down from a challenge given by me, Demon Lord B-"

(Cont.)

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Rolled 57

>>25060721
"First, I'm not debasing myself through use of some fucking character archetypes, dreamed up by some basement-dwelling milksops who don't know how people actually work," Celicia shoots back, ticking one off her fingers. "Second, the squad's not here to hear you give me this challenge. Third, like hell they would care OR believe you if you told them I backed down from a 'challenge.' Fourth, go fuck yourself, and fifth and foremost, go fuck yourself." That said, Celicia flips her long hair back over one shoulder, turns on her heel, and begins stalking away.

"N... no! You cannot do this to me! I must prove myself after that debacle with the boss ogre!" Cuddles yells at her retreating back, straining fruitlessly against his prison. "Craven-hearted savage! H-Heartless bitch!"

Celicia pauses right at the exit of the cave... and then she half-turns, her blonde hair seeming to flow outward with the motion, an incensed look on her green-eyed face.

"... fine. I'll participate in your silly contest." The elf crosses her arms and glowers. "But you had better not get the fucking wrong idea. I simply can't take the risk that word of this might get back to the troops."

Another second passes, and Celicia furrows her brow, pointedly fixing her glare to a point about two feet to the left of Cuddles and refusing to meet his eyes. "After all, it's not as if I'm doing this for your sake, you... you shit-sucking moron."

There's another frozen moment of mortified silence. And then Cuddles' head slumps down against the rock entombing the rest of his body. "... I surrender. Curse you, I... I surrender..."

Celicia... blinks, tilting her head to the side. "The fuck? But we haven't even started ye-"

"WHY MUST YOU KEEP RUBBING IT IN!?" the demon lord howls to the uncaring sky, tears of hot tar flowing down his face.

(Cont. in 25-30-ish minutes for [BAR]!)

>>25060085
I have to admit that ogre magi is almost /tg/ related

>>25060734
Celicia is the best Tsundere.

>>25060097
>- [Magic] Geomancy X, Healing I, Illusion I, Necromancy I, Time I, Climate Control 0

What does Climate Control 0 mean?

>>25060097
>THE FLAMES OF HELL

Even after the Aquifer Pebble trench run?

>>25061172
(I mean, wouldn't it at least be cooled down to the FLAMES OF HECK?)

>>25061158
Grubbing hasn't beaned himself in the head with the instruction manual yet.
(Translation, we have the intro to weather magic book, but haven't spent an action learning from it.)

>>25060213
That's not the full list of bonus scenes, is it, just the choices for which one to get first? Because I remember about 5 others.

>>25061202
Ah, that makes sense. So we have the option of learning it, we just haven't yet.

Rolled 95

>>25061158
That the ogres have access to some method of learning how to use that magic, but haven't really bothered or been able to learn it yet!

>>25061172
The stats haven't... actually been updated to show what's transpired after the last thread, come to think of it. It's probably more THE SOGGY ASHES OF HELL at this point.

>>25061203
Yeah, I picked a few random choices first, and will add more scenes once I clear a few out of the way.

Bad habit of mine- I save that for the big ol' Status Report right when a new turn begins, and we haven't had anything nearly so structured in a while. My bad!

>>25061172
Do not question our home heating system! If we get rid of the hot water the ogres might stop bathing, which might kill most of the elves.

>>25060097
In past threads, you've listed whether the goddess of luck intervention is ready, but the last few threads haven't. She will be next thread, right? Would you consider starting to list her again explicitly?

>>25061232
Yes and yes!

>>25061221
Not a problem at all; didn't mean for it to sound like a gripe, just trying to make sure nothing gets lost.

I am curious about the aftermath of last thread, but that can wait until next thread; this thread we can just pretend that all the bonus scenes happened before the action of last thread.

>>25061221
>SOGGY ASHES OF HELL
...we might need to fix the water heater at some point...

>>25061272
Cuddles' lower budy was eviscerated and he had an Aquifer Pebble shoved down his throat, so....we'll need a LOT of duck-tape....and we're going to need to invent some first....

>>25061287
My first reaction upon reading that was "So he needs a new hat." this quest might be getting to me...

>>25061268
No worries! I'm thankful you guys are pointing these things out- frankly, I sometimes have trouble juggling those kinds of details, since I don't write down as many notes as I probably should for a quest like this.

>>25060097
>∞/∞ patchwings

Every time I read this, I keep thinking of the Shofixti in Star Control 2.

>>25061287
>down his throat
Is that what we're calling it now?

>>25061287
To make duct tape from scratch, you must first invent the ogre.

>>25061316
Oh, well, if you need more things being pointed out:

The Ogir Fist monument needs to be listed as a resource (for the infinite bones), and fertilizer under agriculture (which we've been neglecting for a while).

Which reminds me; I guess we're going to have to postpone the bonethrone for a while until we can get Ogir Place repaired....unless we can somehow combine the two activities together....

>>25060213
A couple more bonus story ideas for the backlog (not for tonight, but for the future):

Boss Bawss briefly entertains the idea of becoming an /ogre/lord, and the Scaratone Queen or Celicia talks him out of it.

Celicia's troops catching rumors of her squeaking, and trying to get her to do it around them.

A random elf experiencing ogres being slightly crude but mostly ogre, rolling with it, overdoing it, and the ogres just NOPEing out.

Dwarves and elves having a serious discussion about cheevos, the elves bragging on their ogre friends, the dwarves not believing it, and then an ogre going by doing something totally ogre. Cue smug looks on the elves faces.

>>25061390
The various ogre allies experiencing heallusionary magic for the first time, either as a spectator or recipient.

>>25061390
>Dwarves and elves having a serious discussion about cheevos, the elves bragging on their ogre friends, the dwarves not believing it, and then an ogre going by doing something totally ogre. Cue smug looks on the elves faces.

This. Mostly because it implies the elves are proud of their ogre FRIENDS. Which I liiike.

>>25061369
Wait, someone suggested a titan sized bonethrone for Ogir Place to recline in? Are we planing to pilot the world like a giant mecha and fight personified, warform alternate dimensions or something?

>>25061437
Cuddles gave Bawss the idea for a Bone Throne. Bawss thought it was meant for Ogir Place instead.

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>>25061390
>>25061412
>>25061432
I can see it now

>get to 3-4 am
>miraculously finish backlog
>there is now an even longer list

it's cool though

ALSO YES I might as well open up Q&A anyway, since there'll probably be a lot of downtime between the stuff I pump out

>>25061447
Brilliant. Thanks.

>>25061432
Likewise; the elves are really starting to get into it.

Similarly:

Celicia has experienced going full reality-warping ogre now. Her troops don't know that yet. Celicia just casually doing something reality-breaking around her troops without thinking about it.

>>25061476
Since it came up last thread: are there in fact female ogres, leaving aside that ogres just pop into existence?

If an ogre and a non-ogre cared about each other very much, would a half-ogre pop into existence somewhere?

>>25061476
Well then.

You mentioned once that, if we had a high enough level in Geomancy, we'd be able to predict the future, right?

Can we?

>>25061432
Yeah, assuming this won't break Blorp more than our rolls usually do, I support adding this to the list.

>>25061390
B- Cuddles' last moments in his home dimension before being summoned by the ogres.

Likewise Ruoumoko's.

>>25061390
One of the elves trying to learn magic the ogre way. The other elves' faces when it works.

>>25061390

An elf trying to ride a bemused patchwing. A patchwing subsequently trying to do the same thing right back.

>>25061390

The first time the dwarves try to barter with the ogres.

Ogres trying dwarven drinks.

>>25061476
Did we just unlock an /ogre/mode for Cecilia, or was her stress induced break with reality a temporary thing?

>>25061390
An elf, an ogre, a patchwing, featherstone, a bet, and a target on the ground.

>>25061646
Seemed like she really got it.

>>25061484
This reminds me, isn't there fanart of Cecile? I REQUIRE it. Someone help.

>>25061390
The elf merchants examining the ogre currency they received....

>>25061506
Nah, no female ogres.

... and half-ogres... are something I honestly haven't even CONSIDERED until, like, last thread. Theoretically, it's possible, but you'd have to somehow get your normal ogre to feel something above and beyond the blanket mellow friendliness he feels for everyone who isn't actively trying to punch him in the face.

That will probably be the real challenge.

>>25061514
... huh. Did I really say that? I honestly don't remember- I'll have to look it up. Offhandedly, I can't think of why that would be the case...

>>25061646
She went back to normal after Queenie fucked around with her.

>>25061681
Voluntarily, though; doesn't mean she lost the ability.

>>25061674

I was re-reading the threads in the archive. It's in one of the first four threads, I think.

>>25061646
>Cecilia
>>25061646
>Cecile

Celicia.

>>25061674
>... and half-ogres... are something I honestly haven't even CONSIDERED until, like, last thread. Theoretically, it's possible, but you'd have to somehow get your normal ogre to feel something above and beyond the blanket mellow friendliness he feels for everyone who isn't actively trying to punch him in the face.
>That will probably be the real challenge.

I could imagine another ogre doing so in after a livesaving event or something. But I can pretty easily imagine Boss Bawss caring that much.

>>25061681
>>25061686
Yeah, my question is which of these statements is true. I suppose it'll be roll dependent, but I can hope...

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>>25061646
A little from column A, a little from column B. It'll probably take some more coaxing and/or practice and/or undue amounts of stress to get her to snap back into that mode.

>>25061666
Picture related is the roughly the closest thing I had in mind when I started writing up her character in terms of appearance, though I forget exactly where the pic was pulled from.

... probably because I made her up on the spot and winged it from there, building it up as the quest progressed, and did a mad search for a pic of an elf with a gun when I started writing the post where she appeared. Spoiler: This is the process common to all of the characters I write for this quest.

>>25061742
Dunno where you found it, but the original source is an artist on pixiv.

>>25061742
>... probably because I made her up on the spot and winged it from there, building it up as the quest progressed, and did a mad search for a pic of an elf with a gun when I started writing the post where she appeared. Spoiler: This is the process common to all of the characters I write for this quest.

You'd never know it with how well they're written and characterized.

>>25061709
I am this close to just calling her Cels to avoid forgetting to swap the 'l' and second 'c', I know too many Cecilia's and a Cecilie to get it right by habit. Will make an effort to remember Celicia, but no promises moving forwards.

>>25061742
>It'll probably take some more coaxing and/or practice and/or undue amounts of stress to get her to snap back into that mode.
>undue amounts of stress to get her to snap back into that mode.
>undue amounts of stress

Ah. So it's permanent then.

>>25061742
>though I forget exactly where the pic was pulled from.

Google Images is your friend.

>>25061742
I just browsed through the archives again; yeah, it was on Thread 4 that you said that we could eventually predict the future through rocks with geomancy.

>>25061792
Say her full name out loud. You'll groan and then never forget again.

>>25061829
...because I obviously haven't done that before, right?...

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>>25061825
.......... OH

Oh god, I did say that, didn't I

GUESS WE GOT A NEW UPGRADE TRACK FOR GEOMANCY THE NEXT TIME YOU GUYS CHOOSE TO ADVANCE MAGIC

>>25061866
I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WILL WORK BUT I'M EXCITED

Also, where does Bawss keep his magical map?

>>25061825
>>25061866
I almost feel like that's nat1 or nat100 territory myself. Not complaining if we get it more easily though.

>>25061908
After a certain series of King's Quest VI videos, I can't help but hear "Alexander pulls out his magic map." lewdly.

>>25061850
Took me a few threads to catch on.

>>25061908
Wait, if we can read the future through geomancy, and we have a magic map that rewrites geography (presumably redirecting the local geomatic energies), wouldn't that mean we could learn to directly control the future through geomancy?

>>25061829
...man, I don't get it. Halp.

>>25061998
That's not the same thing, actually.

>>25061998

If the Ogres cared enough, probably.

Actually, getting the Ogres to be interested in controlling the future would be the most difficult part of your plan.

>>25062015
Drop the initial C, and it sounds like the name of a Razzie-winning actress.

>>25061998
That would fall under Time magic, I'd say.

If we predict the future through geomancy, it's only because we're using the earth and stars to read the future.

>>25061390
An ogre swallowing a bit of Featherstone, and subsequent bouts of buoyant indigestion.

>>25062098
But if we predict the future through geomancy wouldn't it be set in stone?

>>25062098
>read earth to foretell future
>dislike what earth portends
>suddenly a new mountain range
>read earth again
Same result?

>>25062189
...come here, I need to teach you some magic.

>>25062189
It depends. Are we predicting THE future, or are we reading signs of what will likely happen?

>>25062205
That's taking direct action to change the future and not what the other guy was suggesting. It's like predicting that someone is going to open the door in the moment so you go ahead and open it for them. The future changes because of tangible, physical actions.

>>25062205
>>25062272
Or wait, I just got what you were saying.

That's not how traditional geomancy works.

>>25062290
Agreed. Is the map anything approaching traditional geomancy? Cuz I haven't been thinking of it that way.

>>25062310
Nope, it's ur-cartography.

>>25060097
So, Ur-Cartography is changing the map to change the territory. Ur-Camouflage is covering yourself in sand and closing your eyes to disappear.

What would some other good Ur-skills be?

>>25062366
Well, Ur-Travel seems to be a native Ogre ability. We used it in the first thread after all.

>>25062451
You are where you remember being.

>>25062366
>>25062451
I guess Ur-Anything would just be natural Ogre logic, but actually being consciously used.

>>25062451
>>25062465

Sounds about right.

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>>25060734
>[X] [BAR]

Another slow night at the Pink Elephant Bar.

Not that that bothers Jimbob the bartender any. His great-grandpappy's bar, situated in the no-man's land between human and dwarf territory, rolls in just enough income to make ends meet. Sure, that means he ain't bringing in any super-quality hooch anytime soon, but in a village this size, no one's looking for a quality drink. They're either looking for quantity enough to drown their sorrows, or for a place to gather with their mates at the end of the day.

Besides, more customers means more work, and Jimbob never was good at much more than polishing mugs. He's content with mug-polishing and making sure that adventuring types don't explode the bar when they gather for a grand quest or such other nonsense.

Jimbob brightens up when a dwarf enters his bar (through the FRONT door, thankfully). Seems to be a friendly-looking type, one who's all smiles as he walks right up to the counter and leans on an elbow.

"Evenin'," the dwarf says, nodding amiably.

"Evenin,'" the human replies, nodding back. Lotta folks say that dwarves are nothing but trouble and blood feuds, but Jimbob never was smart enough to remember that he has to hate them. "What'll it be?"

"Ach, nothin' yet, lad." The dwarf takes off his mining helmet to scratch his head. "If it's alright with ye, I'm waiting on a few friends."

Jimbob shrugs and goes back to polishing his mug. It's never THAT crowded in this bar that he'd have to start kicking out folks resting their feet. As long as someone doesn't start breaking things, it's all the same to him,

A few minutes later, an elf walks into the bar.

Jimbob really can't stop himself from staring at the pointy-eared blonde. It's not every day he sees an elf, especially not one in some sort of form-fitting military-looking outfit and with a rifle strapped to her back. He stops immediately when she sits at the counter and shoots him a withering glare.

(Cont.)

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>>25062499
"Lockstock," the elf growls in a surprisingly unmelodic voice.

"Celicia," the dwarf greets back. "The others are on their way?"

"Of course." The elf pulls out a cigarette and lights up, but frankly, Jimbob's too intimidated to even TRY stopping her. "Bloody waste of time, if you ask me. Don't we have better things to do...?"

"Now, now, lass, achievements ARE serious business," Lockstock soothes. "'Sides, we scratched you and your friends' backs, right? Seems fair that you'd do a little something for us in return." The stocky miner plops down a few coins on the counter, turning to Jimbob. "Gimme the strongest drink you got. Give the lass here a glass of milk, on me," he adds, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

Celicia narrows her eyes and slams her own coins down on the counter. "Ignore that. I'll have what he's having," she growls in clipped tones.

"S-Sure," Jimbob mumbles, hurriedly pulling up some clean mugs. As he pushes them their drinks, the bartender hears his establishment's doors opening again and can't help but look up-

There's a moment of awkward silence, broken only by a heavy tread that seem to shake the very foundations of the little wooden building with each step.

(cont.)

>>25062512
The dwarf glances over as the towering blue THING sits to the right of Celicia, nearly splintering the ludicrously smaller stool. "Greetings, Boss Bawss!"

The elf pauses with the mug halfway to her lips and nods her own greeting. "Bawss."

"'Sup?" Boss Bawss Fistboss rumbles, leaning on the counter. The counter creaks ominously.

"... that's an ogre," Jimbob mutters weakly. "Why is there an ogre here?"

"Full marks for observation, lad!" Lockstock chuckles, raising his mug in salute. "He'll be havin' a drink, too."

The bartender can't tear his gaze away from the ogre's hat. He THOUGHT he was certain that rocks shouldn't work that way, but he's having trouble tearing his gaze away from that... that /thing/. "He won't grind my bones to make bread, will he?"

"Naw, bone can't beat wheat when it comes to dat," the ogre rumbles, nodding sagely. "Seriously, we got dis bread stuff down to an /art/."

Before Jimbob can think up a reply, the door opens again.

"Beer! Beer!" something screeches horribly, hopping into the bar like some sort of terrible crow-dog of chaos. On the heels of the beast comes an awfully thin lad that looks to be nothing but bone-

Jimbob can't help but feel that he's got to put his foot down. "Summoned thingamajigs an'... pets gotta wait outside the bar," he stammers uncertainly, not sure whether to back away or reach under the counter for his trusty whoopin' stick, for all the good that would do.

(cont.)

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>>25062525
Before anyone can reply, something VERY VERY LARGE seems to back into the doors to the bar, shaking the entire building. Seconds later, a head and upper torso with more insectoid features than anything humanoid pokes inside, and there's a strangely melodic that emanates from its mandibles. "I do not think this will work. Perhaps I should have come up from underground, yes-yes..."

"Please don't, yer Highness," Lockstock calls back. "The requirements were VERY clear: all participants must enter from the front door- ach, go and help the good queen out, will ya, Boss Bawss?"

"Alcohol! Alcohol!" Vultan the patchwing shrieks, badly startling a drunkard who'd previously been passed out at one of the tables. The drunkard stares with wide eyes at the proceedings before emptying his mug out onto the floor and stumbling toward the back door as fast as his legs can take him- only to bump into a skeleton with the very light of the sun shining out from between its ribs.

The resulting shriek causes the elf to wince and rub her head with one hand while clutching the mug to her chest with the other. "Agh, layoff, ya fugging layabouts," Celicia slurs, barely able to keep her chin above the counter. "Gimme back th' days whennit, it was jus' ogres an' elves on the schtoopid oasis..."

"Good gods, lass, you had /one chug/, how the hells are you drunk?" Lockstock exclaims, slapping his knee and laughing. "Drink up! Drink up! You gotta get more drunk!"

Back up front, Boss Bawss pulls on Queen Kilkkarak's arms, the doorway starting to splinter. "Heave-ho, Queenie! Heave-ho!"

If she could, the Scaratone Queen would be sweating bullets. "Agh! I-It's fine, Boss Bawss, I shall simply go home and embark on a diet, and we can try again some other day, yes-yes-"

"No such thing as givin' up, Queenie!" Boss Bawss shoots back. "Now, c'mon, heave-"

(cont.)

>>25062533
She's going to somehow miraculously pop inside, isn't she?

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>>25062533
With one final tug, the remaining half of Scaratone Queen's segmented body, swollen to massive proportions like that of an ant queen's, explodes through the bar's doors, utterly demolishing the entranceway and sending tables flying every which way.

In the stunned, terrified silence, Lockstock stands up onto the counter and pumps his fists, accidentally sending one drunk elf tumbling to the floor in a flurry of curse words. "VICTORY! An' THAT, lads, is the world record for greatest number of races represented in one bar!"

Slowly, painfully, Jimbob sinks his face into his hands, reaching for the mug abandoned by Celicia.

>>25062561
OGRES

>>25062512
>"Now, now, lass, achievements ARE serious business," Lockstock soothes. "'Sides, we scratched you and your friends' backs, right? Seems fair that you'd do a little something for us in return."

Where is he going with...
>>25062566
oh. That's where.

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>>25062566
MORE CHOICES!

[ ] [CAVALRY] The ogres start messing with their beasts of burden.
[ ] [DUEL] Two ogre geomancers start krumping each other. Reality cries.
[ ] [THAT GUY] That Guy ogre's everyday life.
[ ] [DORFHOMES] Lockstock writes back about all the shit he's seen on his travels.

>>25062618
[][THAT GUY] needs more screentime

>>25062618
>[ ] [THAT GUY] That Guy ogre's everyday life.

>>25062618
>[ ] [THAT GUY] That Guy ogre's everyday life.
What's he been up to I wonder

>>25062618
>[X] [CAVALRY] The ogres start messing with their beasts of burden.

And other potentially ridable creatures, such as patchwings, vultures, dwarves, elves...

>>25062618
Call the CAVALRY!

>>25062630
Yes, more of That Guy ogre

>>25062618
[] [DORFHOMES]

>>25062618
CAVALRY, because we haven't seen hide nor hair of the mole ravagers or giant bats in a *long* time.

>>25062618
Do Ruoumoko, Big Vulture, and Vultan count?

If so, CAVALRY.

Rolled 2

>>25062618
>[1] [CAVALRY] The ogres start messing with their beasts of burden.
>[2] [DUEL] Two ogre geomancers start krumping each other. Reality cries.

>>25062618
>[ ] [CAVALRY] The ogres start messing with their beasts of burden.

>>25062618
Either DUEL, since it was the only thing other than TSUNDERE and BAR to get votes from the initial round, or CAVALRY, because I'd like to see more of Squiggles.

>>25060721
>>25060734
So, if this was Celicia going tsundere, was last thread's dakka her going yandere?

>>25062618
We need more of THAT GUY. It's been too long.

>>25062618
[X] [THAT GUY] That Guy ogre's everyday life.

>>25062618
>[ ] [CAVALRY] The ogres start messing with their beasts of burden.

Rolled 61

>>25062618

BLORP YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD.
GIMME DORFHOMES.

>>25062930
What's the origin of your name? When did you roll a 96 for great justice?

>>25062952
Something like that. It's in the archive.

Whooo, Ogre Civ Quest returns, gloriously! And it's a bonus thread, to boot. It's ogreing time.

>>25062618
CAVALRY sounds fun.

>>25063006
I figured someone who enjoyed the moment enough to use it as a name might have the reference handy.

Rolled 8

>>25063029

It's more that I just kept constantly rolling 96's at some point.

Rolled 85

>>25063041

I suspect that if I roll a 96 for a called roll it will have enhanced effect.

Blorp! Confirm or deny!

>>25063041
Details? Which thread?

>>25063053
Heh, come on. No special treatment, man. EQUALITY IN OGRE LUCK!

>>25063053
96 is already stupidly successful. That's quite sufficient.

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>>25063053
What >>25063062 said, sadly!

Otherwise people might start assigning themselves numbers until all the non-crit numbers are chosen, just to get enhanced effects, and then, well...

Rolled 72

>>25063059

I've got no frakin' clue.

>>25063062
>>25063076

I'm fairly certain that the title /roll interplay was used once. Or that might have just been a poster in wonder or something.

>>25063081
Aww.

>>25063095
Well, I'm reading through the archives now, so I'll get back to you on that.

>>25063101
Much obliged!

Rolled 81

>>25063101

Haha, cool.

>>25063081
Hey Blorp, do you plan to post the awesome fanart from last thread to your twitter page? Because at the moment that's the defacto Ogre Civ Quest fanart compilation. At least until someone sets up a 1d4chan page with gallery.

Blorp is this a storytiem thread?

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>>25063124
Yup, that's going up after tonight's thread!

>>25063133
See >>25060213

>Most opponents above your weight class really don't expect smaller opponents to RUN into an armored bull rush, and this one's no exception. You're on your opponent like brown on dirt, slithering inside his guard like a serpent and snatching things from his belt before he can even think to guard himself.

As an aside, I read that line in the last thread and couldn't stop thinking how it would go with an Ogre for an opponent instead.

>Lots of tricky backflips and craziness and theft
>'Bold rolls his eyes at how easy it was
>Looks to see that he now has a rotting, flaming hat in one hand
>Other hand has the ogre's freshly loaded wallet

>>25063258
That failed roll for currency was the best failure we ever had.

So guys, about the Kobolds; they're using the Ogres' fucking around with reality to power whatever device they're using to merge their dimension with ours, right?

>>25063349
Or the ogres are radically lowering the activation energy required for the device to function.

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>>25062618
>[X] [CALVARY] The ogres start messing with their beasts of burden.

>Sometime before the war against the Formichroma...

Boss Bawss Fistboss, on his usual patrol across Ogir Place's main plateau, comes up short when he realizes that Beastkrumpa Squiggles is in a huddle with none other than That Guy, the slightly mad ogre who regularly toes the thin line between genius and insanity.

The larger ogre hightails it over /immediately/. "A'right, wot's goin' on here, now?" Boss Bawss rumbles, looming over them more out of happenstance than any desire to be intimidating.

"Boss!" That Guy beams happily. "We was just talkin' about wot we're gonna do with all da beasties we got runnin' around this place!"

"Yah! Wouldn't ya know it?" Squiggles throws an arm around That Guy's shoulders, matching him grin for grin. "Dis guy, he's got a lotta REALLY good ideas! If we're gonna fight some big nasty bugs, we gotta have some even NASTIER ways of fightin' atop them beasts!"

Boss Bawss Fistboss strokes his chin. "Wot've you got in mind?"

Five minutes later, the three of them are standing around, watching a giant bat perched atop a naked mole ravager.

"Alright, so here's wot we got right now," That Guy explains. "Da bats are just 'bout big enough to carry an ogre, right? Dat means dey can carry one of da mole boys, too. Observe!"

Beastkrumpa Squiggles puts two fingers into his mouth and whistles- immediately, the bat takes off with the mildly terrified mole rat somehow clutched in its legs, the unwieldy setup causing both to wobble dangerously as they rise up.

"Now, da fing is," That Guy continues reasonably. "If an ogre is sittin' on dat mole boy, dat means da mole's carryin' all the weight of dat ogre. Right?"

"Right," Boss Bawss agrees, brow furrowed as he tries to figure out where this is going.

(Cont.)

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>>25063480
"But if da mole's takin' on all da ogre's weight, an' a bat picks up da MOLE, then dat means... the bat don't have to worry about carryin' da ogre's weight! It's the mole who's got dat covered!"

"An' DAT means that da bat can carry TWO for the price of ONE!" Squiggles cuts in. "An' if THAT'S true..."

"... the possibilities, dey are /endless/," Boss Bawss breathes, awestruck at the simplicity of their logic that just about circumvents /actual/ logic.

"An' dat's not all! We already started plumbin' down to da depths of where dis is goin'... we got some new allies, right?" That Guy grins, waggling his fleshy eyebrows. "An' DEY got wings, too..."

Five minutes later, there's a bat carrying an ogre sitting atop a naked mole ravager, which is in turn being carried by a patchwing.

"Da mole's carryin' da weight of da ogre, an' dat bat, he's carryin' da weight of the mole," That Guy explains. "So when da patchwing picks up da bat, he's only carrying the weight of da bat!"

"Light! Light!" the patchwing caws in agreement. "Not heavy! Wow!"

"An' do you know what DAT means?" That Guy continues...

(Cont.)

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>>25063486
Twenty minutes later, Celicia finishes filing through her reports, leans back in her chair, looks out the window of her room on the top layer of Daphnaia Tree, and finds herself face to face with Boss Bawss Fistboss.

"Hi!" the larger ogre says cheerfully.

"H... hi?" the elf hazards. Celicia blinks. "... hold on a sec," she adds, looking down toward the ground.

What meets her eyes is the fact that Boss Bawss Fistboss seems to be at the very tip top of an impossible column stretching all the way down to the ground, since the larger ogre is riding a bat riding a mole riding a patchwing riding a bat riding a mole riding a patchwing riding an ogre riding a mole riding a bat riding an ogre riding a patchwing riding a-

"Why?" she manages, tearing her eyes away from the reality-shattering spectacle.

"Because /science/," Boss Bawss Fistboss proclaims gravely. "Now sit on my shoulder!"

There's a beat.

"Eh," Celicia deadpans, climbing out the window. "When in Ogir Place..."

(Cont. in like anywhere between 30 min and 1 hour, with THAT GUY OGRE'S EVERYDAY LIFE)

>>25063496
Just wait until the ogres discover how to do the clown car...

>>25063573
You mean they haven't mastered it yet?

>>25063592
Not until you see Ogir Place step out of the clown car.

>>25063496
Hey Blorp, question; in thread 9, Gubbins eyes transformed into living gold. Was that a permanent thing?

>>25063627
Nah, that's just the spiffy GLOWING EYES OF POWER color that I assigned to geomancy in general. It's what happens when he casts stuff, and it's not a literal thing.

... otherwise, Lockstock and the dorfs might have pried 'em out with a pickaxe when they first met.

>>25063668
Who's to say they didn't secretly try?

>>25063668
Also: It's fun going through the archives again. It's like watching the greatest hits of the times the dice broke you.

>>25063668

What would an Ogre Lich look like?

>>25063914
Pretty much a normal ogre that got killed but forgot to die.

>>25063914
Well, for one thing: fat and gigantic.

>>25063921
Oh shit. We've had an Ogre Lich ever since Thread 3.....

>>25063940

Have we?

>>25063914
"EY GUYS LOOK I lost my brain dis mornin' but now I can stuff dis melon up inta my skull!"

"Ooooh, dat's some good storage space. Real ef-fishy-ent!"

"Right! I can keep dese fish in my ears, too!"

>>25063967
Not really. He just got krumped extra hard.

>>25064053
B-b-but the Boss said he was dead.....you're not calling the Boss a liar, are you? *pats Kracktus stick in hand*

Blorp, you mentioned Kobolds in your opening section today. Does that mean you'll be expanding on your previous idea of a civilization of Sosuke Sagara/MacGuyver-esque Kobolds?

>>25064068

While I am not that Anon, I think that Anon is saying that Bawss was mistaken. Not lying.

>>25064157
Tucker's Kobolds? They're already here, as of the last thread.

>>25064172
Shut it, you! Bawss knows best for us ogres, after all!

>>25064157
I recommend reading the last thread.

>>25064181
>Tucker's Kobolds? They're already here, as of the last thread.

And we already concocted a plan to deal with them, too. Diplomance them and turn them into Tucker's Cutebolds. Nobody will ever see it coming.

>>25064242

>implying the Kobolds won't have ways to counter our reality fucking and that's why Blorp is bringing them in

We're going to have one hell of a krumpin' match, that's for sure.

>>25064181
>>25064187
Whoops. I only read up to Celicia pulverizing Ogir Place with the fuckload of guns.

Thanks for the info guys.

>>25064303
>implying they'll want to after talking to Bawss

Think about what kobolds want out of this world. Respect, not dying, a chance to thrive, resources and land of their own, all the things nobody ever gives them.

Tell me they wouldn't love to join the Ogres. Tell me why the Ogres would have anything against them.

>>25064303
I mentioned this before in an old thread. Hell it's not like it's hard to find.

>So these dudes would make awesome shit out of common sense and science... and they'd be obsessed with tactics and dakka... whereas we make awesome shit out of sheer luck and magic and we're all about diplomance and krumping.

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H... haha, jesus, I actually fell asleep for about an hour there. I'm sorry, but I had probably better call it here before I fail to end the thread and just fall asleep 'til tomorrow morning or something ridiculous like that.

Apologies for ending this so suddenly! I'll have a few of the scenes finished (including the one I was SUPPOSED to finish by now) and will roll 'em out at the end of the next thread, which will be-

THURSDAY, 5/30, at 7-8 pm EST! (Any change will be posted at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest )

Thanks for following the quest, guys, and I hope you enjoyed this bonus thread, as rambling as it turned out to be- I'll be around for a bit to answer some questions, if you have 'em!

>>25064373
Night, Blorp! This was an enjoyable thread.

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Oh jesus christ.

I didn't see this till now. Blorp, this is hilarious, keep it up.
Oh, and did you ever get around to making that decision on if Ogres can grow two heads or not, for maximum magic?

>>25064373
This was awesome, thank you.

>>25064373
> I'll be around for a bit to answer some questions, if you have 'em!

Not attempting to ask for spoilers here, but: do the kobolds have some kind of motivation beyond being mindless killing machines?

>>25063110
>>25063118
So, finally finished reading through the archives (and, look at that, the thread is finished).

Yeah, the title/roll thing hasn't happened.

>>25064303
We have the goddess of luck manipulation available next thread. Whaddaya say we save it until we meet the kobolds? Goddess of peace manipulation.

>>25064373
If we expand our Necromancy school of magic, will we eventually be able to get Ogre Liches?

And if so, can we have them be like what this guy here suggested?
>>25063921

>>25064412
Goddess of Punching those genocidal little bastards in the face more like.

>>25064373
Aw.

Night Blorp

>>25064399
You mean aside from imposing harsh justice on those responsible for generations worth of genocide committed against their people? Probably, but I'm not sure it's been revealed yet.

>>25064412
I actually fucking hate kobolds with a passion after /tg/, so I wouldn't mind destroying them wholesale.

>>25064408
Here are the origins of it:

http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/21316367/#21317270
http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/21170894/#21174593

>>25064373
So hey, the Elf merchants might be miffed that we paid them with ogre manure for our last transaction.

Anyone else think we better improve our economy before we call for them again?

'Course, going by how much he knew about us Ogres, it could be that he comes from the future where ogre manure is an accepted currency.....

>>25064447
Can we wait to see what *these* kobolds are like before going all racist on them? I have high hopes for Blorp.

>>25064451
No, we were taking about bonuses the title gave to the rolls.

>>25064373
Thanks Blorp! Tonight was a lot of fun and I kind of like that the bonus material was run as an interlude between story arcs. Anyway, g'night OP, great work!

>>25064471
I don't know about you, but I was originally asking for the origins of the title, not bonuses because of it. We already knew the bonuses weren't a thing; word of Blorp.

>>25064453
Seems like ogre manure actually fetches a pretty high price as fertilizer, so they're probably pretty happy with the arrangement.

Glad you guys seem to like it! Guess a bonus thread IS a viable thing to do- I was a little worried, to be honest, since there's less available player choice and interaction.

... though there IS the fact that it's been about 20 threads and half a year since the quest started, so I guess it was overdue. AH WELL

>>25064391
At this rate, given that the splash image for the quest has an ogre with two heads, I probably SHOULD at some point in the future!

>>25064399
... without revealing too many details, yes. Maybe. Or, y'know, probably.

>>25064412
oh god

>>25064420
Y... es, but that'll probably require better tomes. And a lot of introspection. And certain allies may not be so keen about it.

>>25064480
I was talking to Lord of the 96 since he said he thought that there was a case where the title did give a bonus to the roll, and that other anon's response (who seems to be you?) to me when I said I would get back to the other guy on whether or not it happened seemed to be that he was interested in finding out the same thing.

>>25064503
Ahahaha, yeah, necromancy is pretty scary. We could always go develop down a different route of it, though. Something milder, like simply being able to speak better with the dead.

>>25064503
...Wouldn't Ogre Liches forget that they were dead after awhile and just turn into regular /ogres/? And yes, I am suggesting that sometimes when /ogres/die they can just spontaneously get better.

>>25064453
They were so excited about the secrets of solar reproduction because it meant they could breed back their Ogre populations to krump the Kobold Armies back into peace. (Things have since escalated up to Cold War since the last Boss reverse-summoned himself out of the known Dimensions to explore legends of "The Ideal Hat."

>>25064542
Oh god, I can just see some distraught, unnamed elf stumbling into Celicia's office and breaking down because some of the ogres aren't staying dead because no one told them they have to...

>>25064542
>suggesting that sometimes when /ogres/die they can just spontaneously get better.

Knowing how this bloody quest goes, I wouldn't exactly rule it out.

>>25064542
Maybe if they were high level necromancers?

Yes. Incredible. Ogres spontaneously returning from the dead as liches before going back to normal after a while. Totally benign.

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>>25064536
I think we resolved this already- see >>25063081

I don't recall the specifics, but there WAS a bonus given, it wasn't because of the title, it was because the rolled number was repeated or doubled or something as normally ridiculous

>>25064542
>>25064560
>>25064567
>>25064570
ONCE UPON A TIME, LONG AGO

I STILL REMEMBER A TIME WHEN THE QUEST'S DIFFICULTY WASN'T BEST SUMMED UP AS 'OGRES'...

>>25064536
You posted
>>25063101
>Well, I'm reading through the archives now, so I'll get back to you on that.

in response to
>>25063095
. Presumably you were responding to
>>25063095
>I'm fairly certain that the title /roll interplay was used once. Or that might have just been a poster in wonder or something.

but I thought you were responding to
>>25063095
>>>25063059 (You)
>I've got no frakin' clue.

which is what I wanted to know. I thought you were looking for the origin story, not an instance of the title/roll interplay.

>>25064570
>Maybe if they were high level necromancers?
So if we get an "everybody necromancer now" thing going like we did for geomancy, ogres spontaneously lichify on death and spontaneously reserrect over time. Makes sense to me.

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>>25064584
Remember the days when it was actually a civilization quest?

Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting back to that before we go balls deep into the Kolbold arc.

>>25064542
No, because their bones would glow (since we're patterning our necromancy off Holy Glowing Skeletons) so they'd know they were dead.

It just wouldn't have much meaning for them (expect that they now act as light sources)

Cue: "It's too dark in here. Someone stab a lich on so eyes can see!"

"There must be an ogre in the room." "Why do you say that?" "There's a faith blue glow lighting it, but no obvious source. Everyone stay close, he's obviously camouflaged. . ."

>>25064584
Yeah, I know, it's just that I said I'd get back to him after reading through the archives to see if it HAS happened before. And it hasn't, as far as I've seen.

>>25064608
But if they closed their eyes they wouldn't see the glow. Or when they sleep.

>>25064606
Many good civilization games have both civ-building and adventure modes. This quest alternates, and both are awesome. We've been in adventure mode for the Formichroma war for a few threads; now we're likely to be able to be in civ mode for a while while we rebuild Ogir Place and prepare for the kobolds.

>>25064585
>>25063059
I was that guy who asked for details, actually. So thanks! But you should have quoted my other post with the question in it, so that we could have avoided all this confusion, heh.

>>25064599
No, everyone is a natural geomancer now, but they're not as good as the ones who actually learn to be proper mages.

>>25064503
>oh god

Embrace it, Blorp, embrace it: we're going to diplomance *everything*.

>>25064560
I'd love to see Celicia's reaction (or lack thereof) to that at this point.

>>25064648
>...only as good as...
This accounts for the fact that Baws explicitly limited innate ogre geomancy because the tribe was out of control and about to destroy Ogir Place? Because I remember them being pretty good in that particular bonus story.

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>>25064702
With what has already happened with the elves and the time portal that may or may not be bringing their descendants in just before the moments of their deaths...

>>25064707
Ogre logic. Don't ask.

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>>25064584

Oh hey, a weekend thread. Neat.

Have some doodles because OGRES. It is mostly just some scribbles I did at various stages for planning purposes/bored. I would have made ACTUAL content, but I got distracted. By things.

>>25064756
That's just buckets of awesome.

>>25064756
Oh cool.

Did you drawfag for this quest previously?

>>25064797

Mmm? Yeah. Just, the usual drawfag (queenie, Ogretek, ect). I don't know what happened to the other one though. He/she was awesome. I keep hoping they will come back and do some more.

>>25064856
Do you draw for any other quests? Or, would you consider doing so?

>>25064856
Oh yes, thought I recognized the style.

I missed the other drawfag too. Wish there were more appropriate REACTION pics for this quest too.

>>25064503
So...what about making an issue that Boss and Gubbins think so hard about they grow another head? Because four heads are better than two!

>>25064975
I can see that. Sitting there thinking about something really hard, thinking about thinking, and sprouting another head to do more thinking.

>>25064975
That is actually a pretty good idea.
Though it makes me wonder...with both heads have the same personality or will they have a personality that is opposite of what we normally see?

>>25065140
Or if they get an entirely new personality and skillset rather than just same / opposite

Oh gawd, Ogre Quest. This is absolutely brilliant.
Thanks quite a lot for all of that, blorb!

>>25063486
>>25063496

HAHA, this is just what I needed, now I can write my smut in more easily.