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>>24790756

2/3

Send these pictures to Games Workshop. I am curious what will happen.

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>>24790807

3/3

My first response to this was "Holy hell, how are these people not being sued right now."

jesus christ how heretical

Ultrasmurfs?

>>24790822

Why would GW give a shit about Slash Gordon? He is clearly a Flash Gordon ripoff. Not their domain.
GW didnt invent all scifi, pal.

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Yeah, I posed the wrong image. That's what happens when you toss generic filenames around like that.

Anyway that's pretty fucking heretical, son. Where would you even get one of those?

>>24790862

That's an excellent question. You should ask the owner of the establishment.

Imagine the wondrous things you could do if you bought one for yourself.

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>>24790756
>>24790807
>>24790828
Anyone else hear "lawsuit" with this heresy

You just need to ask yourself OP:
Do you feel safer knowing that the Emperor's own Angels of steel, fury, and death are watching over you? Or do you feel freaked out?
Be careful, one of these answers is heresy.

>>24790852

The colors are right, but I don't remember their chapter symbol being "Best Value," though.

...You know what the worst part about this is?

The smiling rebreather grille.

>>24790901

I'm just curious as to why they're trying to sell me mobile homes.

>>24790908
>>24790908
Well someone has to sell the Imperium's citizens their cars, and the got, like, a dozen lost chapters flying around so, why the fuck can't Astartes sell some cars? Or used dreadnaughts for that matter.

Yes I am hoping Automobile Astartes becomes a thing

>>24790929
it will haunt my sleep

thus marine is clearly a member of the emperor's nightmares

Friendly Marines chapter?

I hear they are often confused with the Ultramarines. Chief differences between the two being is that Friendly Marines tend to offer their enemies a value death, two bolter rounds for the price of one and only half the time spent suffering from a chainsword wound.

They are also known for being extremely frugal in their expenditures. Rumor has it to become an aspirant for the Friendly Marines is you need to show dedication by amassing thousands of coupons from Imperium-approved shops.

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>>24790987

>>24791028

I really hope this becomes a thing.

>>24791028

I thought the face looked kind of funny looking, but when you crop it like that it becomes horrifying.

>>24791028
Happy Marines?

>>24790828
>Slash
Sounds like a good idea to me.

You know what to do, OP.
For The Emperor.

>>24790756
>Ok, marketing guys we need something to boost the sells.
>Viral campaign?
>Nop, it doesn't fit...
>Chicks with little clothes?
>Nah, we don't want to get the feminists against us
>Ok.. so... how about...a 5 meters tall balloon of an astartes holding a house...It also has a confident smile.
>PROMETE THIS DUDE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

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>>24790968
...

>>24790756
Glorious Adeptus Pnaumaticus!

>>24790756

OP, I need to see this in person. Do you understand? This is my mecca.

So I need you to provide an address. I know, I know, you're worried that doing so could potentially put you in the kind of vague danger only the internet could.

But I think we both agree that you're going to have to make some sacrifices if I'm going to realize my life long dream of three minutes ago.

>>24790968
GREATINGS FELLOW CITIZEN!
ARE YOU INTERESTED IN A SPEEDER?
OUR PRIZES ARE SO LOW THAT THE ADEPTUS MECHANICUS HAS BRANDED US AS HERETICS!

>>24791028
When you see an Adeptus Astartes smiling like that, you know something unspeakably horrible is about to transpire in the next moment.

By the Emperor's atrophied balls that's absolutely terrifying.

>>24791152
>Transformer-type

>>24790908
Well they are the greatest of them all.

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>>24791152
>Transformer-type action figure

>>24791152

>But, just when you thought all hope of saving money was lost, Slash Gordon storms the gates, busting down high prices to bring affordable housing to all!

>The mortgages! We destroy them, and this is OVER!

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>>24791170

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>>24791152
>Transformer-type action figure
HERESY!

>>24791141

If you search "Oakmont homes Asheville" in Google Maps, it's at location G

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Well, I found who did this. Aparently the Slash Gordon Inflatable Action Character was custom made for Clayton Homes by Landmark Creations Custom Inflatables.

http://www.landmarkcreations.com/lmcatalog/line18/detail/L3108

>>24791192
CREDIT IS FOR THE WEAK!

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>>24791055
Way ahead of you.

Someone please email the GW legal team.

>>24791192
>SLASH GORDON, DELIVERING THE EMPEROR'S FAITHFUL FROM EXPENSIVE HOUSING

>>24791250
B-but then Slash Gordon may have to die.

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>>24791170

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>>24791197
I like this version better.

>>24791267
As the Emperor wills.

>>24791297
BUT HOW WILL I AFFORD MY HOME IF SLASH GORDON DOES NOT PROTECT ME

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Ah, Flash Gordon... good times.

>>24791309
Do you doubt The Immortal God Emperor of Man!?

>>24791265

>Homes for every one of us! Bankruptcy for none of us! He'll save you paying rent, every cent every dollar every dime AHHH SLASH

I want him to team up with Mat Ward to fight crime.

Slash Gordon is obviously following the Codex Estatus.

We should make Slash Gordon an actual chapter master, leading a squad of aggressive negotiators to Save for the Emperor

>>24791377
He needs a chapter.

>>24791377
We do not need Crazy Hassan in power armour.

>>24791377
>>24791399

His weapons deal no damage, because they're inflatable, but The Emperor's Realtors always pass Leadership tests when he's on the battlefield.

>>24791152
I want that. I want that and display it across GW HQ.

Almost perfect, his bolter just needs to be a little boxier.

i saw one of these, but it looked normal.

GW set up shop at the 2010 BSA national jamboree, and here was the highlight of the GW tent

>GW is giving away 40k sets
>predators tanks, dreads, trukks, tac squad, ETC.
>little boy, barely thirteen, gets a predator tank
>he is fucking ahppy, liek he just became president
>he is standing in the tent, holding his new pred tank, grinning like an idiot
>adult comes up, is an eagle
>rushes up to the kid, yanks the pred from him, and runs out
>this happens in the span of 5 seconds
>GW offers to give the kid a new pred
>some fucker stole them all while the kid was crying and GW employees were trying to calm him down
>only 3 were stolen, but they were the last preds
>kid gets no stuff
>is sent home with the only remaining sprues, 2 skeleton sprues from WHFB
>a scout is kind

>>24791413
No, this isn't crazy hassan's camel market. Slash Gordon is in the home and real estate market.

>>24790828
Mmmmmmmmm thats a sweet ass.

>>24791425

10/10, would laugh again.

>>24791427
>GW is giving away 40k sets
You lost me.

>>24791399
I think everyone knows what time it is.
Someone roll a d10.

>>24791427
>GW
>Free shit

Nigga you high?

>>24791484
>>24791491
yeah, it actually happened at the jambore, they had a neato statue rather than an inflatable dude.

Rolled 3

>>24791490

>>24791427
The Boy Scouts are fucking hypocrites. I'm glad I quit.

>>24791484
>>24791491
yep, they were. they were doing a WAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH contest (whoever WAAGHD the loudest) and they were throwing out sets to whoever was loud.

After finding cheap real estate for the Ultramarines across all of Ultramar, Slash Gordon realised he had to serve the Imperium as a whole and so left to combat expensive properties all over the galaxy. To this day he wanders from the purest of shrine worlds to the darkest realms of daemons, bringing ruination to property sellers.

>>24791508
>Strategic Prognostication
Captain Slash Gordon's marines were built for a purpose, it seems - To slash prices, in response to a Tzeenchian monopoly!
How about a d100 for when this happened?

>>24791499
I can believe this. They wanna hook the kids with rich parents in. Smart move in my opinion.

>>24791534
Are you from some kind of bizzaro earth anon?

Many Astarte's are in favor of Slash Gordon, for if not for him, many Home-worlds and Fortresses would never be able to be fully protected by Imperiums 1st Bank.

>>24791558
they only threw out about a total of 20, about 2 preds, 3 dreads, 5 trukks, and assorted ork and marine squads

Well, I e-mailed GW customer support about this. I'm honestly not expecting a response other than the standard, generic, pre-generated response.

Assuming that they do something about this, this would be a situation where GW are unquestionably in the right. However, there's a chance that this might not be actionable. Copyright law is weird and there's definitely a chance that this "Slash Gordon" character is changed just enough to avoid a lawsuit.

Rolled 63

>>24791540
Let's rock.

Rolled 65

>>24791540
ohboy.jpg

>>24790756
>Slash Gorden
>Slaanesh Guardian
Looks like a fucking noise marine with that face.

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how 'bout this

>>24791602
>those prices
May Emperor have mercy

>>24791581
>39th Millenium
Pretty new. Seems Gordon has been using his Emperor-given sales skills for only a couple of millennium... And yet, already his efforts bear fruit, for who else would finance the efforts of the Imperial Housing Industry!
1d100 for their progenitors. From what blessed brood did our astartes come from?

>>24791607
That's just how it is on the Eastern fringe.

>>24790756
The Bluth Company really needs to get its marketing department in order.

Rolled 88

>>24791622
I bet Ultramarines themsmurfs!

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>>24790756
>>24790807
>>24790828
>>24790862
>>24791028
>>24791152
>>24791188
>>24791201
>>24791240
>>24791268
>>24791288
>>24791427

Rolled 99

>>24791622

Rolled 66

>>24791622
If he's related to the Magpies I will die laughing

>>24791573
I'm pretty sure GW's trademarks don't extend into the field of home sales.

>>24790855
No matter how much GW wants you to think otherwise.

"They shall be my finest salesmen, these men who give of themselves to me. Like money I shall use them and in the furnace of sales make them. They shall be of powerful deals and adamantine frugality. In great deals I shall clad them and with the mightiest commercials they will be armed. They will be untouched by bartering or bargaining; no overpriced options shall blight them. They shall have such marketing, ad campaigns and billboards that no competitor can best them in sales. They are my bulwark against the Competition. They are the Defenders of Good Prices. They are my Value Marines and they shall know no overpriced markup.

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Now, /tg/, you too can have your very own Slash Gordon.

>>24791649
>99 Salamanders
We come from the broest of broes. Once, we forged tools for war from the forges of our homeworld: Now, we forge low prices for the good of all mankind.
Now roll for Gene-Seed Purity. 1d10.

>>24791192
>"THE HOUSING BUBBLE GROWS FROM IDLENESS"

>>24791170

>atrophied balls

And what exactly makes you think that the glorious god-emperors balls would be anything but the most virile and round testicles ever seen in the whole of existence, heretical scum?

I can't believe I just typed that out. The things I do for the Imperium...

Rolled 1

>>24791704

Rolled 3

>>24791704

>>24791704
>Alternatively, I just noticed the 88 up above. Could be White Scars: Riding about the galaxy on route ''88, with the greatest prices this side of the imperium!
>Also, we're apparently as far away from Ultras as we can get - three rolls and nothing below 50? sweet.

Onwards battle brothars! We shall make a 1d4chan page for this!

>>24791714
>Pure
We hail from the purest of Gene-Seeds, brothers! For only those untouched by Darkness can find the light of Low-Prime Interest Mortgages!
One more d10 for demeaner.

>>24791728
>we're apparently as far away from Ultras as we can get - three rolls and nothing below 50? sweet

>Slash Gordon is clearly an Ultramarine of the second company

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I just had to, OP.
You're gonna have nightmares about this guy tonight

>>24791753
Maybe he was given the honor of founding a chapter, to try and instill some Ultramarinitude into them.

Rolled 8

>>24791750

Rolled 8

>>24791750
OH GOODNESS THIS IS GREAT

>>24791762
>isn't [savings intensify]

>>24791753
>Yeah, Ultramarines do kinda make sense. Maybe we lured him from his chapter with a particularily good vacation home on Vulcan?

>>24791769
>>24791771
>Suffer Not the Work of Heretics
>Doubly so, apparently
ONLY HIGH-INTEREST LOANS COME FROM HERESY
ONLY HERETICS SHALL LET THE MORTGAGE TO FORECLOSE
>No Flaws, No Mutations
Who's our Figure of Legend? 1d100, folks.

Rolled 13

>>24791807

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>>24790929

>>24791204
OK.

Which one of you guys did this?

One of you guys must be employed at the Custom Inflatables

I've been told to tell you that a stranded fa/tg/guy is watching over this thread with great glee.

>>24791811
>A Battle-Brother seconded from a previous generation Successor or even the First Founding Legion that provided the new
Chapter’s gene-seed. Roll again on this table to determine what type of warrior he was, rerolling if you get this result again.
ROLL AGAIN FOR SLASH GORDON'S RANK!
And He's totally an Ultramarine, now it's official.

>>24791499
I call bullshit. Can you back that HERETICAL accusation of FREE emperors finest?

Rolled 63

>>24791836
GOGOGO

Rolled 29

>>24791836

>>24791836

Oh god, Slash Gordon actually is an Ultrasmurf? I'm dying of laughter.

Do they make fierce use of artillery to flatten the ground to suit new housing projects?

>>24791028
At least its not a beaky.

The codex astartes names this manoeuvre second mortgage!

After that, they deep strike the houses. It only takes a servitor 30 seconds to 5 minutes! The joys of pre-fab housing!

>>24791696
Someone shop bad dragon box into that picture and its perfect

>>24791847
>Master of Sanctity
>What even is...?
Slash Gordon - A man so dedicated to the glorious purity of paperwork, the sanctity, if you would, of an entire sector's writings.
It is no wonder that he was attracted to the errors appearing in the Home Loans department of the Administratum. Truly, he understood more than most the deep impact of such corruption.
For weeks, months, years, he spent entombed in libraries, becoming the holy terror of Adepts across the sector. Finally, he found it: the ghost in the machine, the terrible Daemon Lord of Paperwork!
For three days and nights he fought the demon, nothing but a pen-knife and a broken typewriter to his arsenal. Finally, he trapped the daemon in an integer overflow, but not without cost: Trapped within a living void into the Warp caused by sacrilege of the Emperor's own papyrus, he spoke a prophecy to the few humans still alive to hear his words.
This prophecy is what lead to the founding of our chapter, that lead to an entire chapter dedicated to the art of the Deal.
>Roll for Homeworld

>>24791831
Tell us more

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WE'RE MISSING AN IMPORTANT ASPECT HERE
Do these houses contain...
...stairs?

Rolled 94

>>24791950

>>24791987

They mostly sell trailers, so no.

Man, I never thought my shitty pictures on my phone would lead to this.

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Oh god I'm dying here. This is pure gold.

>>24791987
Slash Gordon only sells 1 story sets. Anything else is Available as an Option

>>24791156
So the descendent of Crazy Hassan gave up camels and moved to automobiles, in space.

>>24791987
AWWWWW SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>24791987
No, look to Brother Gordon, he holds a single glorious story.

>>24791992
>Fleet-Based
There is never rest for the home-selling specialists of the Imperium. While they shall forever wander the stars keeping the faith, they never shall know the warmth of owning their own home.
But fear not! For in death, either from the axe of the Orks who deny our rightful writs of ownership or the Papercuts of Chaos that have taken so many of our brothers, we shall persevere, and be rewarded with a one-bedroom apartment of our own.
A one-bedroom apartment that includes optional multi-melta and close-combat weapon, on legs...
>Oh, right, 1d10 for how we rule our fleet. maybe 1d10 for terrain? But I'm pretty sure there are no jungle spaceships. Could be wrong.

Thought for the day: Don't be a dummy, save the money

Rolled 6

>>24792096

>>24792098
Oh god, that reminds me of those "The General" commercials, and the possibility of that company surviving to the 41st millenium to have that guy in a space marine suit.

>>24792096
UNTIL EVERY IMPERIAL CITIZEN RESTS IN THEIR OWN HOME NEITHER SHALL WE
AVE IMPERATOR
MARINES DOMESTUS

>>24792122
FOR THE BEST CAR INSURANCE RATES IN TOWN
CALL 1-800-COMMISAR NOW

>>24792096
>Distant Rule
While the fleet may be owned by the chapter, nearly every working Marine spends their time as Knight Errant, either noble scouts finding new places for the blessed Ritual of Home Improvement, full marines clearing LZ's for the Ritual of Suburbian Might, or even mighty Terminator Squads, tasked with Tearing This Building Down to the Studs, but the home-away-from-home-away-from-home still sends it's support.
Now roll for Chapter Organization, 1d10. Do we listen to the Codex Astartes? Or are we organized into the 13 Tax-Attendant Council?

Thought for the day: Strong faith is built on strong foundations, as with a well-built house.

>>24792122

>Inquisitor Jim THE EMPEROR'S HAMMER Shapiro

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>>24791201

Rolled 6

>>24792176

>>24791188

Clayton Homes is the largest producer (or retailer, not sure) of mobile homes in the US. The Clayton family is on the Forbes 400.

>>24792096

>Fleet-based
>*Mobile* homes

It could not be more perfect.

>>24792226

Seriously, I could not make this up if I tried.

LAND RAIDERS
LAND TRADERS
GIVE THEM NO QUARTER WITHOUT PLANNING PERMISSION

>>24792201
>Divergent Chapter
We hold to the truths of the Codex Taxicutious rather than Astartes! We're not totally out there though. I'm thinking that the 6-10th squadrons are actually entirely archivists, filling and checking the paperwork of the True Faith.
1d10 for combat doctrine! Or is it "throw paperwork until no longer a problem?"

Rolled 10

>>24792267

Tabletop rule:

Space Marine armies including Slash Gordon may take fortifications and any accompanying upgrades at half of their usual points value.

>>24792267

Rolled 6

>>24792267
This could not be more perfect.

>>24792275
>Terror
...
ahahah, I'm laughing too hard to have a good excuse for this.
So.
Slash Gordon taught our chapter one thing:
ALL MEN FEAR THE LOAN AUDITOR
ALL DAEMONS FEAR THE PRINTED WORD
ALL XENOS FEAR THE SUB-PRIME MORTGAGE
1d100 for our special equipment, as a divergent organization, while my sides leave orbit to get a new home elsewhere.

Rolled 70

>>24792326

Rolled 10

>>24792309

Seriously, man, this is fucking great.

>>24792326

>>24792326
FEAR NOT BROTHER, SLASH GORDON WILL HELP YOUR SIDES WITH A CUT RATE MORTGAGE AND A 3 BED2 1/2 1 STORY FLOORPLAN
The Emperor Provides!

>>24792344
>Special Mount
>What in the... What am I looking at here?
THE SONS OF SUB-PRIME SHALL RIDE OUR ANCESTRAL BEAST INTO BATTLE
THE DREADED TAX-BIRD
20 FEET TALL
CAPABLE OF SIGNING FORMS
CAPABLE OF SHITTING CONCRETE FOR THE BLESSED FOUNDATIONS
CAPABLE OF PECKING THE EYES OUT OF THOSE UNWORTHY OF A HOME
ROLL 1D100 FOR BELIEFS
AS IF WE NEED BELIEFS OTHER THAN THE BLESSED BELIEF IN THE CODE

Rolled 41

>>24792408

For The Emperor! For affordable housing!

Rolled 10

>>24792408
I'm dying here.

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Chapter's symbol

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>>24792200

>>24792434
>The Emperor Above All
Things I love, by Slash Gordon
1) The Emperor
2) Giving the Faithful a new house at cut-rate costs!
3) Tearing the Heretic out of a new loan because of their corrupt credit score!
At what strength is our chapter? 1d10

>>24792408

And they have giant birds. As if they weren't great enough already.

>>24792468
AUGH
KILL IT

Rolled 10

>>24792476

>>24792486
Oh shit.

>>24791837
Right here
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oEMQ0e_vvo

>>24792486
OVER STRENGTH
IN THE WAR FOR TAXES
1000 MARINES ARE NOT ENOUGH
2000 MARINES ARE NOT ENOUGH
UNTIL THE LEGION IS REBORN ONCE MORE,
UNTIL THERE IS HOUSING FOR ALL OUR CHILDREN
WE WILL NOT STOP BREEDING
So who are we friendly with? Other than the Administratu.

>>24791696
YYEEEESSSS!

>>24792540
Whoops, 1d100

Rolled 48

>>24792551

Rolled 87

>>24792540
>>24792551

>>24790945
>mobile fortresses-monasteries
ftfy

>>24792559
>Adeptus Sororitus
We support our local nunneries!
With Bolter, they purge our enemy!
With Flamer, they burn their inconsistent housing!
With Melta, they remove their insufficient foundations!
Our staunchest allies! For who else loves the Emperor as much as us?
Who are our enemies? 1d100 once more

>>24792486
Even though they are mighty space mortgage marines Slash Gordon's chapter is constantly pressed in a hyper agressive housing environment. Heresy and corruption lurks everywhere, from bad credit, to misplaced paperwork. Therefore the chapter needs an unusually large number of Mortgagiers to the needs of the Emperor's faithful.

>>24792480
Do they have to be birds, or can they ride construction/demolition vehicles?

>>24792517
dat one GW who roleplays the battle.
i like him, shame that the scouts were likely thinking that he's a faggot the whole time.

Rolled 79

>>24792600

I just yesterday forgot to back up my HDD when formatting, so I'll have to put it like this:

This entire thread is the very definition of Never Change, /tg/, never change.

>thisisthebestthreadon/tg/rightnowaward.png

>>24792600
Heretics bring down property value! They're like the Neighborhood Watch of the galaxy!

>>24792614

The birds were OP's idea (for once not me forcing my feathery foolishness into the thread), but I'm sure riding anything would be good.

>>24791104
So THAT'S what Jaghatai Khan's doing these days.

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>>24792614
Oh please make it this.

Quickly Brother! To the Battle-Dozer!

>>24792655

The result was mount, not vehicle. So I don't think a Space Marine-sized bulldozer counts.

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>>24792486

THEY SHALL BE THE VANGUARD OF THE EMPEROR'S GREAT CRUSADE AGAINST HOUSING PRICES.

>>24792667

My god.

It all makes sense.

Clarkson as the borderline-heretekal-Magos.
Hammond as the Ratling-turned-Enginseer.
May as the traditional-but-reliable guy.
And the Stig is Khan.

>>24792684
>So I don't think a Space Marine-sized bulldozer counts.

>>24792680
But it's too perfect.

>>24792684

What about a giant mount covered in bulldozer-like armor?

>>24792651
>A particular Daemon, Daemon Prince or Disciple of Chaos
He who Slew our chapter master! Lord of lies, and overpriced land! That terrible Daemon of Paperwork and Credit Ratings!
The Corrupt must burn! Their foundations crushed, their very homes given for low-rent in low-value areas!
That's all the rolling, folks. The chapter's been created.
Now we need name, heraldry, etc. Saw a nice house shoulderpiece above somewhere...

For the love of god, someone, please, archive this thread. It's too beautiful.
There should be litanies, hymns, and sagas of the exploits of Brother Slash Gordon.

>>24792517
Wonder why GW doesn't do community outreach like this anymore.

>>24792735
You mean >>24792447 ?

Personally I think it should just be the words "BEST VALUE" to honor our chapter master

>>24792680
Isn't this kind of redutan't? Some Land Riders have dozer blades anyway.

>>24792680
We rolled mount rather than vehicle, but that doesn't mean we don't have dozer blades on ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. Even the Terminators have little dozer blades on their shoes. EVERYTHING.

>>24792730

Utterly gigantic elephants or rhinos pretty much made of solid adamantium armor plating?

>>24792680
DOZER-DREADNOUGHTS

>>24792735

The Daemon Prince DP Morgan Chase.

>>24792735
>>24792735
>>24792735

Inflationus, Scourage of Interest Rates, Daemon Prince of Nurgle.

>>24792735
Has to be a Nurgle-type. The rot, the mould! The decay in this house!

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Slash Gordon solemnly accepts his duty.

We need a drawfag here, so that we can have a proper rendition of the heroic Slash Gordon.
I think the mobile home in his steely grasp should be rendered as the head of his trusty Thunder Hammer, with which he breaks the back of Housing Speculators.

So, for summary's sake.
Why were we created?
>Strategic Prognostication
When?
>39th Millenium
Who is our progenitor
>99 Salamanders
>Or White Scars, if needed
How pure is our gene-seed?
>PUREST
Demeaner?
>Suffer Not the Work of Heretics
>DOUBLE SUFFER
Who's our figure of legend?
>A Battle-Brother seconded from a previous generation
ULTRAMARINE SECOND CHAPTER
Who is he?
>Master of Sanctity
>Killed a Daemon
Where's our Homeworld?
>Fleet-Based
Mobile Homes. Selling Homes.
>Distant Rule
It's like we don't even like our ships.
codex Compatible?
>Divergent Chapter
NOPE
Favored Tactics?
>Terror
Special Equipment?
>Special Mount
What...?
Chapter Strength?
>OVER STRENGTH
Friends?
>Adeptus Sororitus
Enemies?
>A particular Daemon, Daemon Prince or Disciple of Chaos
Best chapter is best.
AVE IMPERATOR! AVE LOW RATES, HIGH MORTGAGE!

>>24792755

Someone already did. Most recent of suptg, in fact. I already voted it up once.

>>24792026
i expected heracy... i am filled with disappointment and joy at the same time.

>>24792517
Holy shit why can`t they be cool like this?

>>24791709
It's okay commissar, we still hate you.

The battle barge is just a huge mobile home.

>>24793041
in the grim darkness of the far future there is only bad housing

>>24793041
How is it decorated though?
Are the marines under Slash Gordon also trained in interior decorating and design?

>>24792943
I suggest we send the link to GW's legal service, the mobile home company and the makers of the balloon and we watch the result.

>>24793129
Somebody already sent it to their customer service.

>>24793144
LAWSUITS FOR THE LAWSUIT GOD !

>>24793129
It's asshole like you that ruin good things. Nothing is being hurt here. Yet you're hell bent on stopping them. Fuck you anon die.

>>24792930
this makes me want to play war hammer and paint my marines as slash gordon's branch.

>>24793196
The company with the Slash Gordons is one of america's most powerful. Don't worry, nothing will happen.

>>24793228
At most I imagine GW would just embarass itself.

>>24793259
That's the idea.

>>24793211
Do it. Post pics.

If I followed through every time /tg/ inspired me with one of their homebrews, I would have such a cool army, and no money.

>>24793334
but i have no money to start

>>24793415
Well if you just want to paint you can get the set of three marines for $12. That's what I do when I just want to make a scheme. You said play though, so get saving brave fa/tg/uy.

When they sold those packs of 5 termagaunts with fleshborers I would just buy a shitload of those because it was like, $10 cheaper than the actual box with options.

>this entire thread
aw lawd i traded mah sides in for a mobile home.

So have we decided what the mount is?

I TRUST SLASH GORDAN

>>24793545

The anon reading from the books said it was a bird of some kind, but others suggest a big armored pachyderm of some kind. No consensus as of yet.

>>24793625
I liked the bulldozer.

CLEARING THE WAY FOR BETTER PRICES IN THE EMPEROR'S NAME.

>>24793625
I'd cut the pear in half and say :

Land raiders with bulldozer blade

>>24793678
>>24793697

Maybe compromise and say they love their bulldozers and ride them into battle, but the ancestral bird is part of their logo?

SLASH, SLASH I LOVE YOU, BUT WE ONLY HAVE FOURTEEN HOURS TO SAVE HOLY TERRA

>>24793743
>SLASH, SLASH I LOVE YOU, BUT WE ONLY HAVE FOURTEEN HOURS TO SAVE ON LAND PRICES

>>24793732
Maybe the "mount" is an anti-stork who flies around delivering forclosure and building condemnation notices!

>>24791640
>>24791649
>>24791650
Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh

The mount is a giant tortoise or snail. Massive shell it lives in, when it dies the shell can be reappropriated to be sold on the house market.

>>24793820
aw shit son

I used to wonder what a true 'best thread on /tg/' would look like. Tonight, I have found my answer.

>>24793840
The only being not involved is Nurgle... So, our chapter is blessed by Violence, Excess, and Change alike.
Home is always something to better, something to win.

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>>24793828
one vote for this

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>>24793828
How about a turtle/eagle? Uses both the bird and turtle angle

>>24793828
The turtles replace our Rhinos, giant transports with a single marine riding it with a pintle-mounted bolter and 10 of his buddies.
Maybe Russes?
Demolishers are right out, we need our dozer blades.

>>24794221
I said birds because it was SUCH a random roll. So, birds. Because why not?
I imagine them replacing Bike squads. Because why not.
I was hoping for a better idea, and two have surfaced that make more sense - Turtles for the home angle, and Pachyderms for the demolition.
Too many animals and we start looking like a zoo. I guess animals need homes too...

EVEN IN DEATH, I STILL SAVE.

Do we have a name yet? Or mount first?

>>24794557
Neither.
Sons of Sub-Prime came incredibly randomly earlier, and noone's said a thing yet. Although, the business that created Slash Gordon is by Clayton Homes, by Landmark Creations. Could Clayton be the name of their fleet?

>>24794346
I think we should go with turtles and only turtles.

Giant, cosmic space turtles, ridden into battle, when they die their shells are rebuilt into housing, or become parts of the marines armor. Specifically the chestplates and dreadnought casings, because after all, home is where the heart is.

>>24792816
So they're deal is they are traveling, overly happy, salesman marines?

>>24794661
Does that mean they'd be willing to trade with Tau, or would they stage hostile corporate takeovers of the Earth caste?

>>24794661
This is 40k. The happiness isn't real, but it's drilled into the marines day after day. Be happy. Smile. Act thrilled. Happiness is forced upon them, it becomes a part of their character over the centuries.
Forever to do deals as the happy employee,l forever to smile in the face of death and corruption. that is the fate of these marines.

>>24791377
yes. YES

>>24794732
Hence the smiley face re-breather grates

>>24792771
>>24794637

Turtles with bulldozer blades. Dozer turtles, even.

>>24794913
How about turtle-birds with bulldozer blades?
We'll call 'em bulldover turtles.

Wait, no, that's stupid.

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Someone please archive this.

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>>24794691
>stage hostile corporate takeovers of the Earth caste
In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.

>>24794816
Sometimes, Happiness is too much for the more weak-minded Astartes. After hundreds of years wearing the Guise of the Happy Salesman, they will snap, as it is.
Imagine, if you will, a genetic super-human, trained by the best minds of Humankind, gifted with the best technology and blessed with the strength of ages. All of this, suddenly and ferociously directed to the sheer act of making a profit NO MATTER THE COST. Entire planets sold into slavery, nonprofitable ventures burned into the superstructure, droves of potential customers torn to pieces for the immediate bottom line.
These marines are placed in a special squadron, given wings so that they may launch themselves at the enemies of mankind rather than the helpless targets they'd otherwise choose. They will throw themselves upon their foes with a smile on their faces, Happiness turned into pure force of destruction against Chaos, the Xenos, the Heretic.
The Black Rage, as it's known to these marines, a symptom of constantly living to get their profits 'in the black.' Oddly enough, the Blood Angels find this absolutely fucking hilarious, but scientific inquiry and the occasional bribe have brought no answers as to why.

>>24794913
Can we put guns on dozer turtles?

Demolisher cannons?[/spoilers}

>>24794956
Wait, wait - Instead of the Stormraven, we have planes made by the shells of the larger turtles, given mechanical wings. the Turtle Tempest fighter is a staple of supporting vehicles amongst these marines...

>>24794995
I like this.

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>>24794996
That's dangerously orky, but as long as it has skulls, I like it.

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Air Support, reporting in.

>this thread
GOLDEN

>>24794964
So they have to look a TV pitchman in order to not wear their helmet?

I want to see a Vince marine now.

>>24794913
IF they are fleet based where do the turtles come from?

>>24795161
Space Turtles, duh.

>>24795161
Eggs.
Fucking DUH.

>>24795208
So like sea turtles but in space?

>>24795262
Precisely.

>>24795161
They were found on crusade. On a lonely planet in the Calixis sector, the Marines found a large creature that figured heavily in their urbanization of the planet. However, once they had done their duty, they found that the creatures no longer had a home, despite their incredible resilience and doglike loyalty. Taking pity on the creatures, and seeing something of their own plight in the creatures as well as a reminder of their eternal mission, they took the creatures with them on their crusade. Ever useful, every vigilant, and ever their worthy companions.

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The Emperor demands that this thread be archived

>>24790968
In a Deathwatch game I was running, the kill team hotwired a bunch of cars and drove them around a Hive city.
They had to tear off the doors and most of the roof to fit.

>>24795528
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/24790756/

>>24795576
That`s fuckawesome.

So, any new thoughts on a name for the chapter? Best one that's come up is Sons of Sub Primus, because it's a riff on an already-established chapter.

>>24795645
The Astral Turtles?

>>24795619
May you ascend to my side, child

>>24795629
They broke their tank when they ran over a chaos dreadnought.

>>24795664
>>24795645
>>24795645
I like the Sons of Sub Primus.

Could we have Remaxicators instead of terminators?

>>24795757
Remaxicators are acceptable.
No Librarians either: Instead, accountants, who perform Miracles of the Emperor simply by using the right paperwork.

I like the Iron Marshals, give them the image of them being space Westerners, their mobile homes also doubling as war-wagons.

>>24795805
Mobile homes instead of rhinos?

THE GRIMACING GRILLES
Or the Expansion Warriors, since they're based on an inflatable man and they expand into new markets and expand business into new planets.

>>24795828
>space marines riding into battle in armoured RVs

Make it happen.

>>24795828
or mobile homes towed by rhinos. The Rhinos are filled with whatever business crap they use, and the marines are actually in the mobile homes.

>>24795828
Makes much more sense than the turtles, TBH.
As interesting as that is, it's a little excessive to keep adding weird things to an already weird chapter.

>>24795868
This makes for a good rule: if a rhino is destroyed, it does not by default mean that the marines are.

However, I think it should mean they suffer some sort of penalty as a result of losing a mobile office.

>>24795880
>it's a little excessive to keep adding weird things to an already weird chapter.
and excess is Slaanesh worship

however, we're already blessed by Slaanesh >>24793820 so no worries

>>24795905
It means that they, on average, will be piling out of the mobile home 4-6 inches behind the rhino, not to mention it's a much larger target.
An interesting option, to say the least.

>>24795940
"Foreclosure" should be a special ability that gives them some sort of capturing bonus as long as the offices are intact.

>>24795905
I can see it, the Iron Marshals maybe use a Land Raider to tow a column of Rhinos chained to each other up behind it, like an armored train of death, and it then forms up in a convex war-wagon formation, the Marines pulling out into the center to set up a firing line.

When they secure an area, the Rhinos unchain up, and are used for dozerblade duty, and leveling the area for new development work.

>>24796033
Maybe Gold Marshals, or Land Marshals instead. Iron Marshals draws up the Iron Hands chapter, but we rolled lineage to Salamanders instead.
Other than that, Iike the general idea, even if it's just on the fluff angles.

>>24796114
Blazing Marshals perhaps. One part because of the Salamander heritage, one part because of Blazing Saddles.

>>24795694
I wish I had words for this. I really and truly do.

Lolworty captcha: 'New manenyou'

>>24796148

I endorse it.

>>24796148
Blazing Marshalls! Blazing a trail across the Galaxy, bringing the dream of home ownership to every human! Whether it involves uprooting the current inhabitants, burning the inferior current-houses to the ground, or gathering up for a crusade to strike fear into the hearts of those with bad credit scores, Marshal your courage, young adepts, and strike into your new duties!

The Fortifiers.
Land Traders.
The Land Lords.

>>24791530
>organization that imposes moral values
>morally consistent
choose one.

>>24796169
>>24796148
This clashes with the imagery of a bunch of accountants and realtors unless we split the chapter into parts with discrete purposes. May I propose Accountants and the Marshals to start with?

Marshals would specialize in foreclosing on enemy territory as suggested by >>24796021

Accountants are the leaders and librarians, with Remaxicators being the terminator and special ops wing as suggested by >>24795799

Together, these branches serve to protect the Emperor's Real-estate

Chapter name should be Homemakers.

>taomyss Boarding

Estate Angels.

>>24796358
Adeptus Estates.

>>24790756
SLASH GORDON IS NOW CANON

>>24796341
Shit name and nobody cares about your captcha.

>>24796322
That could make sense. We're not Codex-adherent and we have way too many Marines anyhow, and there was a notion of having half of the squadrons Accountants and half of them normal battle-brothers anyways.
In that case, we're back to names. Clayton Homes, for the blimp? Maybe something to do with our dead hero, Gordon's Heroes or Slash Marines or summat?

>>24796379

>no one cares
>tao miss boarding
>it's actually 40k relevant

Do you hate /tg/?

Street Dragons, the last word in urban renewal. With wisdom and sagacity they provide affordable prices for all the Imperium's citizens. With cleansing flame and flashing steel they level low-income dens of heresy and pave over for new generations of the Emperor's faithful to settle in.

>>24796424
Ooh, that's not bad. Also comes in from a different angle, Anon you're all right.
Dragons? Streets? Suburbs? Urban Dragons?
Other ideas:
the House Hunters? no, that's dumb, excuse me as I flagellate myself...