Hello again, all my wonderful contributors, and hopefully, some fresh faces. ~~~~Summer in New Bounty is hot, and unfortunately, not even a dry heat. Your balls cling to your leg even before the sun rises. You've taken to working shirtless, as any shirt becomes clingwrap in minutes. Daliah has switched to a silken shirt and shorts combo, which you don't mind, but Melissa is baffling. She's still wearing her full gray cloak, with two layers of clothing beneath that. You make note to mention that to her. Your crops are growing wonderfully in the humid heat though, you've had to stake your tomatoes already. Your wheat is almost fully grown, and you anticipate a heavy harvest at the end of the summer for your other crops. [ ] Find a way to beat the heat, (give suggestions)[ ] Continue to work on your wedding vows, you're getting married in like three days, holy shit[ ] Other, be specific
Here is your farm as it sits. Note that you also have a large outhouse. It's the first thing you had built, wisely.
Oh god, nobody's here, my worst nightmare.
The seldom seen guilt here.I wanted to comment about the erp last thread.While it was indeed tasteful... it was far more tasteful than placing "I want to fuck the harvest goddess" in the first post.
>>24652240[ ] Continue to work on your wedding vows, you're getting married in like three days, holy shitThread lurker reporting
>>24652456Hah, when no regulars show, the lurkers report!
>>24652429You. Post more. >>24652456Same for you.
>>24652240[X] Find a way to beat the heat, (give suggestions)Taking a nice bath in the river is good for that, we can chat with our girls about our wedding vows, what we want to say, anything that they really want put into them.
>>24652456I agree with these but I want a scene where Keith is practicing with the siamese cat and shepherd dog. Ironically, it's not far off fromhis two ladies...Also, what gender are those respective animals?
Just poking my head in to say I like what you've got here OP. Gonna read the archives and hopefully be back for next time.
You decide to beat the oppressive heat in the river, which is always cold. You wave to the girls to meet you there at their leisure. ~~~Having stripped down, you jump into the river with a splash. You shiver, but it's so refreshing. You're glad to have it so close, it's a constant source of comfort. Though you worry about potential flooding, given the flatness of the surrounding land. Daliah and Melissa arrive simultaneously, and Melissa sits on the riverbank, while Daliah begins to disrobe immodestly. You turn your head to give her some privacy. You might be engaged, and you might have had an encounter with her, but you're not married yet. You can afford a few more days of chastity of a sort. You hear her shedding her clothes, then a pause. You hear splashing getting closer to you, and you estimate it should be safe to turn around. You do so, and see Daliah as she was born, though taller, holding a handful of rocks. You turn away again, her surprisingly toned body not leaving your mind as easily as it does your eyes. "That's clever, Daliah, but hardly fair. What a lewd girl I've become engaged to."She laughs from the bank, then enters the river proper. "Modesty is for maidens, Keith. You might not have taken us yet, but you know no other man will ever have us. And still, you are cute in your ways with us. Don't change."Damn girl. When you first met she was way more autistic than this.
>>24652511The animals were both rolled female. >>24652527Hope to see you soon!
>>24652621You look back at Melissa sitting on the bank, leaning against a rock with her staff across her legs. "Aren't you coming in, Melissa? It's gotta be 50 degrees Celsius out here, with the humidex." Both girls look at you like you have two heads. You sigh, remembering they're probably literally from a different world than you, and rephrase. "It's really hot and sticky."Melissa still looks confused. "But Keith, I am quite cool. If I were warm I wouldn't be wearing my cloak."Daliah looks at you, then back at her. "I suspect Providence is cooling the space around her. Remember, the Relics are mysterious and powerful objects."You chalk it up to that, and drop it. "So girls, we're getting married in a few days, any ideas on the vows? I've been trying to write my own, but I'm stuck. How are you two doing?"Melissa starts, "Well, I'll be using some traditional Slavic vows, touched up for our exceptions."Daliah nods. "Yes, and I have some more traditional vows from my people that I'm fiddling with. I've always found books have useful quotes though, perhaps you could read up on some."You nod to yourself, trying to remember memorable quotes you can toss in to the speech at the altar. [ ] Write your vows. Gimme your favorite line from a book, or anything else. I'll work it together. [ ] OtherPick two.
"Throw away your logic and kick reason to the curb!Beautifully following the golden road!""If there’s a wall, we knock it down!It’s a road built with these hands!"
>>24652784You are my inspiration and my soul's fire.You are the magic of my days.You help me laugh, you teach me love.You provide a safe place for me, unlike I've ever known.You free me to sing my own song.You are more of an amazement to me, each day I rediscover you.You are my greatest boon.I am yours.You are mine.Of this we are certain.You are lodged in my heart.The small key is lost.You must stay there forever.
>>24652784"Our marriage is as tied to the land as we are and requires tending just as our crops will. It is not a piece of stone or metal that remains static despite the passage of time, it is a living thing that will grow, adapt, and flourish far beyond the seeds of love that we have planted. I swear to nurture and care for our love no matter the season, no matter the trials and tribulations we may endure. I swear that my love for you two, the two most beautiful and spectacular women I have ever seen in my life, shall grow and deepen every day and never be left fallow."Also put sections in for each girl, the reasons we love them, how we promise to support them to our utmost in everything they do, how we accept and cherish them as they are and shall be, all of their ups and downs, their flaws and good points.
"Maybe you're right, Daliah. But for now, I just wanna soak in the river."Daliah gets a mischievous look in her eyes.~~~~~You decide sweating it out in the town would be preferable to playing naughty marco polo with Daliah. The girl is remarkably fast in the water, probably due to her overall fitness. She could have chased you all the way down the road if she wanted to. You want to get a small wedding present for each of the girls, something they would truly treasure. [ ] Go to the blacksmith[ ] Go to the tailor[ ] Go to the general store[ ] Other
>>24652986Addition to my post here.Put something in about how they support us in spite of our foolishness and that we rely on them to tell us when we're wrong.
>>24653047>>24652977>>24652986Really good stuff here guys. I'll pull this from the archive for tomorrow night.
>>24653034Blacksmith.Keep it practical.
>>24653034Hmm, we want something that shows how much we care, we've already gotten magic rings, and I'd like it to be something they can use and rely on, not just a decoration. We'll need to hit the tailor anyways to get something nice to wear for the wedding, but clothing doesn't seem like the right sort of gift. For something practical and long-lasting the Blacksmith seems like the best bet. I'm not sure what to get from there though.Jewelry is nice, but not practical, though we should get them some anyways at some point.
>>24653034[ ] Go to the blacksmith
You haven't spent much time at the smiths, so you head in that direction, following the clangs. In this hellish heat, the man must be inhuman.You approach the stand by his forge, and look at what he has on display. Nails, knives, pots and pans, the usual stuff. The blacksmith stops pounding to watch you. He straightens. "You're that boy with the slav and Hamad's daughter, aintcha?"You ignore the potential slur on Melissa, and reply. "Yes, I am. I'm looking for something to gift each of them at the wedding. I don't have anything in mind in particular, but I was hoping you might help."The smith narrows his eyes, shrewdly. "Sure boy. I can think of something good, real good. They'll love em."You brighten, "Excellent! What is it?"He smirks. "Oh, don't worry about that, let's talk payment first." Your face falls a bit, this isn't going to be good. "I don't want your money boy, it's not what I need. What I need is a good ore.""I'm sorry sir, I haven't seen any whores in this village yet."
>>24653372Are there any swamps or bogs nearby?
He laughs, "Not what I said boy. Ore. Iron and copper and such. I'm running low on anything but the shittiest pig iron, and it's starting to effect my work. Now, I can go get ore myself, but then I can't work on your precious gifts. You see where I'm going with this?"You surmise he wants you to go to the mountains and gather some rocks for him. It'll take two days, minimum to make the necessary trip, meaning you might only show up just in time for your own wedding, if everything goes well. [ ] Agree to fetch ore, leave immediately. [ ] Find another gift for the girls elsewhere, no deal.
>>24653372Wouldn't you need to get a boat first?
>>24653432You haven't found any yet, but you could ask Daliah, why?>>24653460A boat? I don't follow.
>>24653473Bog iron is one of the most abundant sources of iron that you can get to without having to dig like a motherfucker. If Daliah knows of any beaches nearby with black sand we can pick up some iron from there, magnetite iron sand deposits aren't that uncommon.
>>24653578Are you a metallurgist or something?Be more specific about bog iron, maybe that can be an option.
>>24653578am I on /sci/
>>24653578And here we go with the things that /tg/ knows...
>>24653608>>24653612>>24653617I just like iron.Basically iron deposits are often underground, randomly located, in a particle form, or bonded to random stuff. What happens in a great number of bogs, swamps, and some meadows, is that iron-rich groundwater, or streams from mountains, carries iron particles to the swamp. In the acidic, low oxygen environment of a swamp, both things that help form insoluble iron compounds, solid iron generally in the form of limonite, there are a lot of bacteria that as a byproduct of their lifecycle concentrate and bring together all the iron particles so they can form actual solid compounds.
>>24653776>I just like iron>university level knowledge of FeThis. Board.
>>24653776>>24653834Oh yeah, random thing, you can tell if the bacteria that concentrate the iron are in a swamp because the water on top has a kinda oily sheen to it. So if Daliah knows about any swamps nearby that has a kinda oily sheen on top of the waters we can just go out there and bring him chunks of ore to refine and work with.Also, the stuff made from it often has some amount of silicates in it which gives it a kinda glassy coat and rust resistance. So yeah, iron!
>>24653889Make love to me, /tg/.
>>24653927We might have to put that into a pastebin Harvest.
>>24653963If you want to pastebin a physical representation of /tg/ making love to some poor storyteller, you go ahead.
Harvest Moon Quest: University Lecture Notes edition
You decide to go with the Blacksmith on this one, hopefully the results will be worth it. "I need as much ore as you can bring back. All kinds are useful. Just look for rocks with shiny streaks in them, not just flecks, streaks."You agree, and head home to pick up the donkeys.~~~~Heading down the road with the three donkeys in tow, you wonder how the girls will fare without you. They weren't around when you got home, so you scrawled a quick explanatory note and took off, time being of the essence. ~~~~Time passes, and you come to a fork in the road. There's no sign, but one path obviously leads to the mountains, you took it before. The other path leads off, in a general negative Z axis. You remember someone telling you once that lowlying areas sometimes had high iron deposits, and you like your odds better with that than with 'maybe' finding ore in the mountains. You take the road down. ~~~~~The next day, you reach a bog. Or maybe it's a swamp, you don't know the difference. You tie the onagers up against a tree, and begin searching the area. Roll d100 for perception.
Rolled 62>>24654071Come on, don't fail.
Rolled 44>>24654071Look for the oily sheen. Also, bog iron is really cool because it's a naturally regenerating source of iron. You can harvest a bog for iron every year.
>First thread where we meet Melissa>I say we should go for the Harem end>We got the Harem endFeels fantastic.
Rolled 16I love rolling, because the prospect of 100 thrills me.
Rolled 16>>24654129And it doesn't feel cheap either, somehow.
>>24654129And we managed to pull it off with aplomb, make it not feel forced or cheap, and kept up our farming.
Rolled 92>>24654071Rolling because, yes, I still read this. I should, going through the trouble to save the first ever thread from autosage and archive it back in the day. Keep on farming, folks.
Rolled 28Oh god no. No no no.
>>24654129Technically, we got the Threesome end. The Harem end would have been all six potential wifes.
>>24654187A saviour appears.
>>24654219>implying I wanted the General store whoreAnd as far as I know, the only other girls that have been introduced were no more than silhouettes in Shady River.
>>24652631>The animals were both rolled female. The cat is secretly the supposedly-dead Harvest Goddess, isn't she? We're going to go through a few dozen chapters, get married, fully upgrade the farm, fix up New Bounty all nice, solve the Shady Rivers thing and reunite the villages, catch a legendary fish and ship one of every crop available... and then in the epilogue it's going to turn out that Deliah's lost immortality is actually going to bring her mom back. Who will then proceed to screw over our crops unless we give her lots of grandbabies.I'd roll 1d100 but then if I had a natural 100 we'd all know the plot before it actually happened.
>>24654294I don't know the plot yet.I make up every single post as I go.I'm so sorry, I'm a bad GM.
>>24654325But you do it so well!(And you're overstating how much you're flying by the seat of your pants; you had the two towns planned out, for instance, and many of the characters.)
>>24654346Actually, iirc, he said that he was going to have the other town be evil, depending on which one we picked.So technically, he had four towns planned out. Good NB, Bad NB, Good SR, and Bad SR.
>>24654346>You had the two towns planned outYes, In the same post I typed out the names on the signpost.>You had the characters planned outLol, no. Made them up based on whatever was on my mind at the moment.Here's a big one. Melissa is my wife.
>>24654410>Your wife was sucking your dick yesterday>It is MellisaShe is cheating on Keith with you. Or, more likely, vice versa.
It takes you all day, and you get more frantic as time goes on. You're not finding shit. You begin looking around in a panic for pretty looking plants and sticks, realizing you might only come back in time for the wedding at this rate.Then you splash into some oily water. You're curious, so you reach into it with your hands, and grab some rocks. Bringing them up to the fading light, you see they are predominantly yellow, and you figure it's either sulfur or some useful ore. It's all you've got to go on so far, so you cling to hope. You grab the asses from the tree and bring them as close to the bog as is safe, and begin dropping rocks in bags. You do it without even doing more than glancing, focusing on quantity over quality. ~~~~~~You drive the asses homeward mercilessly through the night, arriving back in town at dawn, heading straight to the smiths.
Rolled 79Just curious.
>>24654441Eat the rocks.
>>24654450>if we got 100 we found vast quantities of metal ingots...
>>24654518Nah, 79 probably already got us that. 100 and we dredged up a few veins of gold, or an uncut diamond.
Rolled 23The smith arrives some time after you do, surprised to see you."Ho boy, you've missed some interesting things. Your two lady friends came to see me, a few hours after you left. They weren't too happy ohhohohoho*hacking cough*"You freeze. "...and?"He continues, "Oh, I told them you went to the mountains to get ore, and they took off like lightning. Heard Hamad's daughter talk about killing you. I'm glad I'm not you right now boy."This is bad.The smith finishes up, "Just leave the asses here, I'll work as fast as I can. I'll bring the finished goods to your wedding this evening, if I can. By the way boy, you're getting married this evening. Might want to get ready for that."Oh. Shit.
>>24653438>fetch quest for the blacksmith because clothes are too fragile>no one remembered the town goldsmith>including the DMSuch is life in the Valley.
>>24654441Yellow is far from a bad thing, limonite is often yellow. It's found in shades of brown and yellow usually.Though limonite isn't an actual mineral, it's just a blanket term we used for it before we knew it was composed out of differing amounts of several different iron oxide-hydroxides, but it's close enough for government work.
Rolled 64>>24654598Side effect of writing from bad memory. Anyone should feel free to correct me any time you want.
>>24654598I was occupied with other things, and arrived too late to mention the error.
>>24654596What's the smith's name?
>>24654624>Side effect of writing from bad memoryYou need to keep better notes; at least a list of shops that exist in town.This is /tg/, where we have access to foolz that automatically archives every post. If you don't keep at least basic notes on stuff like this, you'll inevitably make mistakes and be made to look the fool.
Rolled 59You go into full panic mode. You rush around town all day, buying a good suit at the tailors, cleaning yourself up with a nice herbal soap from the general store, and doing your best to shave in the reflection of the river.
>>24654624So yeah. What ARE we going to do about the goldsmith? Are we going to continue with the blacksmith gift route?
>>24654677Uh, we need to run after our fiancées who ran after us to the mountains first.
>>24654691After the trouble we went to? Yes.
>>24654700We probably should've mentioned we were heading to the swamps before we left.
>>24654728Yeah, we need to learn to let them know about things like this, since Bad Things happen when we don't. Bad Katana Things.
>>24654691we've spent the WHOLE DAY doing the Blacksmiths bloody fetch-quest. WE ARE FINISHING THIS SHIT!unless Harvest Goddess is willing to Time-Warp back....but then, we wanted utilitarian gifts, not mere trinkets...
Rolled 40>>24654671>you'll be made to look a foolI am a fool, but duly noted.>what is the smith's name?Uh, John. >>24654728We didn't know we were going to the swamps, it was a split second decision.
>>24654747It wasn't so urgent we couldn't have let our future wives know, though. "It's a surprise, it isn't dangerous, please don't go running after me with a katana and Providence."
>>24654747True, we should have told them we were going out and to not worry about us.
>>24654691We already have the stuff, but for some reason we're running around dressing fancy instead of running around looking for where are fiancees ran off too.Harvest Goddess, are you distracted by something? You should probably take a break until your wife finishes.>Law AmoreINGLIP HAS DECLARED THE LAW: WE MUST LOVE OUR WIVES!
>>24654677What did we spend to buy the suit? How much was it?
Rolled 95>>24654759>>24654771The note we left reads, "Going to mountains, gotta get ore for smith, love you, home soon."
Rolled 33>>24654773Don't worry, my wife is cleaning the house, I'm all here.>>24654778The suit was put on Hamad's tab.
>>24654792then Why did they Visit the Smiths?
>>24654829Probably to chew him out and get more detail about where in the mountains we might be going.
>>24654773They'll probably die in a rock slide.
Rolled 62>>24654839Nailed it.
>>24654792Also, as others pointed out, if Melissa and Daliah went off towards the mountains, instead of the swamps where we actually went, shouldn't we be going to find them?Can't have a wedding if the brides are stuck in the mountains, you know.
You end up standing at the makeshift altar in the village green. You stand next to Hamad, who dwarfs you. The sun is setting behind you, casting pleasing shadows across the field. Most of the village is in attendance. Some faces you know, the tailor, Therse and Thorse, the pub staff. You realize you don't interact with the town much. You don't know most of the people attending your own wedding. But you do know two people who aren't.
>>24654871We forgot our wives didn't we?
>>24654871You were so preoccupied with being afraid to miss the wedding, (It would have been so cliche to miss your own wedding), that you failed to leave to find the girls. You trust them, in that you think they'll be okay, but you're not 100% sure they'll be on time. And as the sun sets, you begin to truly worry.
>>24654871I know that skipping through dull and monotonous choices is to be commended, but this is starting to get ridiculous.
>>24654896Every passing minute brings uncomfortable body language from Hamad, and other guests. Every five that pass without sight of the brides makes you sweat harder. The sun sneaks out of the sky, and is replaced by the moon. Some of the townsfolk with younger children shuffle home, with small words of apology. You start to feel a dull ache in your chest. You fucked up. You should have immediately gone after them. You weren't thinking straight because you hadn't slept in a while, and were too focused on gifts for the girls than the girls themselves.
>>24654955NOPE! they said that they were capable and did not need us to panda them. They shall make it here, on time, otherwise this union was not meant to be!
Eventually it's just you and Hamad, standing at the altar. Neither of you have spoken for several hours, but he breaks the silence. "You're worried that you made the wrong choice, in trusting them to be safe."You start, he practically read your mind. "Yes, anything could happen to them in the mountains, I'm the man, I should be out there looking for them, I should have been out there a full day ago. I've failed them, and it looks like it might have been at the time they needed me most." Your voice chokes, and your throat tightens. You will not cry. You will not cry. But you will close your eyes.
>>24655034Are we going to get player agency back anytime soon, or is this just going to be one long cutscene?
>>24655087Like, two more short posts.
>>24655115Having such important events and choices take place without player input, when the choices wouldn't have been foregone conclusions, is annoying, to say the least.
>>24655115We don't mind waiting a while for a full-length post rather than a series of 1-2 paragraph posts.But the bigger question is why we didn't go after them when we said we should.
Hamad rumbles a bit. "Daliah calls you an idiot a lot, doesn't she? Listen, I don't know much, but here's what I do know. The living offspring of a goddess with a heavily enchanted sword, and a tenacious young woman with a stick that makes everything okay are travelling together with one purpose. To find you, and hurt you. I think they'll be okay."He's trying to reassure you, and he certainly sounds certain himself. But you can't bring yourself to open your eyes. It's all that's keeping you together. "No, Hamad. They may be strong, but anything can happen in the wild. Rocks can fall, and everyone dies. No sword would save them from that. I had something precious in my hands, and for fear of smothering it, I let it hang too loosely, and now it's gone. I've truly made a fool of myself, and at their expense. I will go to the mountain now, and do my best to find them. If I do, and it is as I fear, I will bury them, and lay myself with them. I'm sorry I couldn't be the farmer you were looking for.""You may not be the farmer he was looking for, Keith, but you ARE the farmer WE'VE been looking for."
>>24655181>>24655195>why didn't we go after themBecause for once I thought I had a good story idea. I'll leave that on the backburner in the future, duly noted.
>>24655201TAKE THE PAIN!!!WE'VE BEEN STABBED ONCE! WE CAN DO SO AGIAN!!! WE DIDN'T NEED THAT KIDNEY ANYWAY!!!
>>24655231Remember. Actions have Consequences. Just because we don't like what is happening, does not mean you should change it. Especially if you have had an idea on where to go with something. Yes, we could have gone after them, but we chose to prep for the ceremony which tied up all the remaining time we had!sometimes we need to be shot down to remind us that not everything works out how we want it.
>>24655115>>24655231It's not the story idea that's the problem, it's the series of short posts with no player input. If you want to do a 'cutscene' that's fine, just be sure to tell us it's coming up and feel free to take enough time to get one or two big posts written instead of a dozen smaller ones.
>>24655201"I left a note." Try to say it in a way that combines "Please don't hurt me", "I love you", and "I told you I'd be fine" into a single sentence.
>>24655283>but we chose to prep for the ceremony which tied up all the remaining time we had!Actually, no we didn't. There was no choice in that. It went immediately from "go to the mountains to get ore", "get back to the town by morning", "spend all day getting ready". The only player interaction there after making the choice to go to the mountains was rolling for how successful we are in finding ore. There was still a choice to be made, "continue preparations or look for the girls". We were not given the opportunity to make this choice, even though there was still in-game time to make it.
>>24655345touche good sir. touche.
>>24655283>>24655295>>24655345Long story short, I had a preconceived notion about this part of the Quest. In the future, I will write longer posts, and make it clear when choices aren't going to be available. I'm sorry for the confusion.
>>24655295This. We don't mind waiting, but with the exception of splitting across posts players mostly expect to have input after each of your posts.>>24655345Also this.>>24655231It's a hard balance.
>>24655231Dude, everybody was saying go after the girls. You decided to do the wedding thing. This is starting to get really rail-roady, bro.
>>24655425The horse is dead. We provided advice, now let's leave it be lest it consume the rest of the thread.
>>24655201You open your eyes, and in the bright moonlight you see Daliah and Melissa in full wedding regalia.Melissa is wearing a heavily embroidered white gown, with full sleeves. There's quite a bit of fabric, and it must have set Hamad back significantly. She still has Providence with her, bell tingling. Daliah is wearing a slimmer dress, in an even brighter white. She has shoulder length white gloves as well. Her hair is up in a tight bun. She has Sow tucked under her arm like a bouquet. They look radiant, together. The only thing that shines beyond their beauty is their anger. It feels warmer, suddenly. "You idiot. You utter idiot." "Don't you ever leave town without us again.""You could have been killed.""You're not as strong as you think you are, you need us."One after the other, they don't give you a chance to reply. They step forward with each point, and eventually the two of them are poking you in the chest. You grab their hands, and apologize. "I'm sorry you two, I was wrong."That seems to make them falter. They weren't expecting a simple apology. Daliah stutters a bit. "W-we were just worried, is all."Melissa adds in, "I can't heal you if I'm not with you."You nod. "You're right, both of you. Sometimes I make bad decisions that don't take you into account. I promise I'll try to stop doing that in the future, that is, if you're still willing to have a future with me."
>>24655395It's alright, just make this sort of thing clearer in the future, everyone makes mistakes here and there, the important thing is to learn from them.Players in general tend to be leery of anything that makes them feel out of control of a situation or feel like their input isn't being considered. So yeah, wedding. We're going to get yelled at something fierce.
It turns out that they are indeed still ready to proceed with the wedding, and step up to the altar. As Hamad begins the service proper, you see the blacksmith approach with a wrapped bundle. He nods to you, and sits in the front row. [ ] Take the bundle now[ ] Wait until after the ceremony
>>24655437I was just voicing my concern,I had no intention of dragging this thread down.
>>24655488[X] Take the bundle nowI hope that it isn't sextoys, because that'd be awkward.
>>24655395You're falling into the trap of 'railroading because I've got this great story idea'. Forcing immediate consequences due to choices is fine. Having consequences simmer in the background and explode due to choices that the players made a long time ago and never fixed, is also fine. But giving a choice, and then forcing a series of events where the players cannot make a choice when they logically should be able to, in order to come to a consequence you want 'because it's a great story idea', is the quintessential railroading DM tactic.
>>24655488>[ ] Wait until after the ceremonyThat's when wedding gifts are given to the couple, after all.
>>24655488Take the bundle now, but don't present it to them until after the ceremony. That's the proper time for gifts.
>>24655503The trick is to have a pile of partially fleshed-out ideas in waiting, and more than one opportunity for them, along with some subtle story hints leading in one direction or another (for instance, Melissa and Daliah's insistence that they don't always need Keith to protect them).
You pause the ceremony to quickly take the bundle from the smith. As you grab it, he whispers to you, "Top one is for Daliah, bottom for Melissa. It took me all day boy, I hope you like it."You bound back up to the altar, and Hamad begins again. "Dearly beloved, all five of us are gathered here today because this man, Keith, has ensnared the soul of not simply my own dear daughter, but also the fair Melissa. And, surprisingly, they have decided to throw their lots in together with him, and each other. They have shared no small amount of hardship, and it is clear that they will continue to share in hardship, if nothing else."You frown, he's not exactly painting a pretty picture of you."And yet, here they are, yes? That alone speaks for something. They must love each other, they have sacrificed for each other, and they work well with each other. What more could anyone ask from a potential marriage?" You nod, and the blacksmith coughs loudly. "Now, we shall exchange the vows. Daliah, you met Keith first, and thus you may speak first."Daliah steps forward slightly, and looks you dead in the eye. You don't see notes, so she's clearly memorized this. "Keith, I take in as my breath the sweet air that comes from you.I witness your beauty every day.I desire to hear your voice on the north wind each dayso the strength in my arms may be reborn with your love.Call for me through eternity, and I will always be there."It's short, but you're taken aback by it's beauty. She really thought this through. She steps back, and Melissa steps forward. She too holds your gaze strongly."Keith, I am not so good with words as Daliah is, but what I say I say from my heart, and I want you to know that. I take you in husband to be with you always in wealth and in poverty in the disease and in health in happiness and in grief from this day until death separates us."Melissa steps back slightly. You shudder a bit, and then draw a deep breath.
>>24655746"I will speak to both of you at the same time, because both of you are equally dear to me. You are my inspiration and my soul's fire.You are the magic of my days.You help me laugh, you teach me love.You provide a safe place for me, unlike I've ever known.You free me to sing my own song.You are more of an amazement to me, each day I rediscover you.You are my greatest boon.I am yours.You are mine.Of this we are certain.You are lodged in my heart.The small key is lost.You must stay there forever."You pause to draw breath. "Our marriage is as tied to the land as we are and requires tending just as our crops will. It is not a piece of stone or metal that remains static despite the passage of time, it is a living thing that will grow, adapt, and flourish far beyond the seeds of love that we have planted. I swear to nurture and care for our love no matter the season, no matter the trials and tribulations we may endure. I swear that my love for you two, the two most beautiful and spectacular women I have ever seen in my life, shall grow and deepen every day and never be left fallow"You're nearly done, and you can tell you're having an effect. "Now Daliah, I speak to you. You're my troublesome warrior. My impish bookworm. My ferocious tiger. You give your all into every thing I ask of you, and into all the things I don't ask, but should have. I pray to be the man who deserves you."Turning to Melissa, you continue. "And Melissa, I treasure you no less. You're my gentle nurse, my essential linchpin, and my long day's rest. Your presence, with or without Providence, sets me at ease, and lets me truly enjoy life. I pray to be the man that deserves you."
>>24655746Awesome.Not sure if you're prompting us or not there, but:"I came here to start a new life, as a farmer. In my wildest dreams I did not believe doing so would lead to such boundless joy as the two women I have been privileged to fall in love with, and who defying all reason seem to love me back. I promise to spend the rest of my life living up to what they see in me. My heart will forever belong to the two of you, and no power in this world or the next will come between us."
You almost forget the bundles in your hand. Unwrapping the heavy burlap, you reveal a pair of objects. On top, Daliah's gift. It's a pair of iron scale gloves. The metalwork is exquisite, scaled plate on the hand, chain on the palm and fingers. Set into the backs of the hands are a pair of well cut rubies. Your jaw drops, they're easily three inches across. You go down on one knee, and present them to Daliah. She takes them gingerly, and holds them like fragile eggs. She's speechless. Pivoting to face Melissa, you present her gift. It's a large stein, made of iron, but it seems coated in a glossy substance, likely to prevent rust, or leaking flavours. It is set around the middle with a chain of sapphires, round cut and each an inch across. The interior bottom bears an inscription. "If you're reading this, your husband needs a drink too"You pass the stein to Melissa, who takes it excitedly, her eyes alight.
>>24655992>If you're reading this, your husband needs a drink tooThat would kill us if we try to keep up with her.
>>24656021But it will be a good death heralded by a tipsy nordic goddess cuddling us.
You're boggled at the gifts, they hit right on the mark, but more importantly, where did all those gems come from? They must have been in the ores you brought back, but so many? The blacksmith is grinning at your face, and raises a fist, and points at it. It comes to you that the price of your gifts was the remainder of a pair of enormous gems. It matters not, you'd have paid any price to see the girls this happy. Hamad coughs politely, though his eyes are wide on the gifts. "Now, you all have your rings already, so simply put, You're married now. Keith, be good to them, or else." With that said, he bows slightly, kisses his daughter's forehead, and Melissa's hand, and heads home. The blacksmith waves himself out of the green, as well, leaving the three of you standing there. [ ] Say something.[ ] Head home, wordlessly[ ] Other
>>24656088>[ ] Say something."I'm sorry. I completely forgot to get a wedding cake. Will you forgive me?"
>>24656088KISS YOUR BRIDES, YOU FOOL!
>>24656088First and foremost, kiss the girls, kiss both of the girls a dozen times each. "I love you, I love you both so very much. I will never understand how you two put up with me, but I will never stop loving you."Walk home doing the lewdest thing possible, holding hands, and whispering into their ears all the depraved, kinky, sexy things we're going to do with them now that we're married.
>>24656160Of course.You're not sure where to begin, but you know you need to kiss the brides. But how? The girls seem to sense this, as they do so many of your thoughts, and pull you in together. They put their heads together as though they'd practiced, and they manage to share the relevant real estate. The kiss seems to last forever, and yet, not long enough. As it breaks off, you laugh, happier than you think you've ever been. "I'm sorry there's no wedding cake, I was too focused on other things." The girls cock their heads in unison. They might be spending too much time together. "What is cake?"Oh god, the village with grain and the village with eggs have been separated for so long that pastries are almost completely unknown. "Regardless Keith, these are very fine gifts. Perhaps I shall wear my gloves tonight." Daliah remarks offhandedly. Melissa smiles, "I'm afraid I must request you speed up the mead production, so I may fill my lovely mug. I look forward to many years of draining it with you!" You turn your head skyward and laugh loudly. Putting your arms around your wives, you head home. "You know girls, we're married now. Whose maidenhood shall I ravage first?"[ ] Well, who?[ ] Other
>>24656333Make it into a friendly competition between the two of them. Whichever one pulls of the better seducing/teasing/dirty talking/strip teasing/etc. routine gets first go. Though we'll have to be sure to take care of the other one in the same evening.On a side note, those gloves sound painful for handjobs.
>>24656333Wait, we dont have TWO dicks?!?!
>>24656333Do in order that we've met. Daliah then Melissa
>>24656429The gloves would be extremely painful for handjobs, yes. I'll write what happens next in a pastebin, hopefully learning from my mistakes. As for everyone else, that's curtains for the night. I'll have the pastebin ready for tomorrow night around 11 pm, and I hope to see you there. Again, I am truly sorry for the errors I make in running these threads, and beg your ongoing understanding.
>>24656333We definitely need to grow the supplies to make cake.As for the question at hand: head back home, close our eyes, have them stumble around trying to find one of them, and the first one we find...goes second. (Otherwise they'll be far too easy to find.)
>>24656529That's clever, going in the bin. Thanks.
>>24656529Hmm, making cake, it's entirely doable with what we have.We won't be making modern cakes because we don't happen to have a pile of sugarcane and refined sugar, but once our wheat finishes we can make flour and from there we're golden. At some point we could plant sugar beets and work from there, but until then we can use some of our honey as a sweetener for it or use a lot of fruit in the recipe. Or we can make cheesecakes, though we'll have to go more towards the ancient greek type of cheesecake which is very different from the modern type, using the goat milk to make mizithra, which is dead easy, just take some goat milk, boil it for a few minutes, add whey or something acidic, put it in a cheesecloth bag, let it wait for a few days and you have mizithra, and then bake that cheese on a base of some kind of soft honey bread, possibly fried for extra deliciousness and bam, we've got cake.
>>24656505Thread's archived now: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/24652240/
>>24656973Please, please tell me you had to google that.
>>24656973We'll have honey, which substitutes beautifully for sugar. Ever had a cake made with honey?
>>24657022Doesn't subbing honey in thicken the mixture unfavorably?
>>24656973That'd be the right approach for us to make cheeses in general. Since we have a limited supply of farm animals, we won't want to use animal sources of rennet to make cheeses. Today, it's possible to make rennet almost entirely artificially, but that won't work without advanced technology. However, there are some decent substitutes we can gather from plants that are likely to be growing in the general area, without even having to grow them ourselves, and you don't need a huge quantity of rennet to make cheese.
>>24657004Some of it. I didn't remember everything about the cheese or its name so I looked that up, though I knew that it was a pretty simple cheese to make. I have had the greek cheesecake before, it's tasty. Very different from modern stuff. >>24657022Yes, it's damn tasty, and I mentioned that we can use honey instead. But for some cakes you want actual refined sugar instead of honey as wonderful as honey is, the taste is different and works better for some recipes, and you have to adjust the rest of the recipe when you use honey due to the stickiness that it adds that raw sugar doesn't, but it's a damn fine substitute. Now I want to make the greek cheesecake.
>>24657122>>24657124Consider the process of making mead. You can do something similar, minus the fermentation, to get the sweetness of honey minus the texture.That said, sticky works really well in certain flavors of cake. Chocolate and fruit both work nicely with it. We probably won't have access to the former anytime soon, but the latter works beautifully with a very sticky cake batter.Also, you don't substitute honey for sugar 1:1.Alternatively, you could dry and crystalize honey, and grind it into honey sugar.
>>24657192>>24657124>>24657123>>24656973If the world ever ends, I want to be a survivor on /tg/ island.
>>24657123Luckily enough for us goat cheese is pretty easy to get to curdle. We can use rennet, or we can use vinegar, lemon, whey from the last batch of cheese, or figs/fig branches if we have any fig trees around. If we had figs we could just take a pile of goat cheese, boil it, chop up a pile of figs real fine or just crush them, throw them in there, let it curdle, then let it hang for a bit and bam, delicious goat cheese with figs. >>24657192I agree, I said some cakes for a reason. I hadn't considered making the honey sugar, that would make things easier. We might need to ramp up honey production a couple notches if we want this to be more than an occasional treat for us and our girls. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
>>24657291I'd suggest citrus if we have access to it....actually, honey is mildly acidic. I wonder if that could be made to work?Let's stick to "occasional treat" for now, until we get it out of the experimental phase, but if sweets and pastries are this unknown to the town, we're going to make a killing once they get a taste.
>>24657399That'd probably work, looking it up honey usually has a PH from 3.2 to 4.5, and milk curdles at 4.6, so it's possible to make milk curdle with it as far as I know, though not as effectively as lemon juice.So we're pretty much the luckiest guy in the village. We've got the two hottest chicks ever, good land, and we're going to be munching on pastries in front of everyone while they all look at us with envy.
>>24657561I wonder if cheese curdled with honey would taste sweeter? That would work nicely in a dessert.
We should check the nearby forests for maple trees.
>>24657714My guess would be yes.Though you can get sweet cheese by adding honey to the cheese.So basic plan for pastries, wait until the wheat is done growing. Once it's done we'll want to set a pile aside to make into malted wheat for various brewing projects and get a pile turned into flour.Then we start prepping the stuff for our cake thingies. We whip up some goat cheese as I described >>24656973 which should be easy, we add some honey and whatever spices/fruits we want to the cheese, bake up some honey bread with our flour, eggs, honey, and butter, fry the bread if we want, put a pile of cheese on it, put it in the oven, and then eat delicious cake in front of everyone else while saying how delicious it is, because we're mean. Brewing wise once the wheat is up we can throw together some vodka easily enough, just pick up a basic copper still from the blacksmith and then combine mashed up potatoes, malted wheat, water, and yeast, I don't feel like doing a step by step instruction thing right now, let it ferment for a bit then run it through our still 2-3 times probably, and we've got vodka. Doing other alcohols is a lot more work, gin requires spices, rum requires sugarcane/molasses, we don't have apple trees lying around as far as I know so no hard cider. And we can always do beer from a variety of things and whisky. Though the lack of hops means that our beer is going to be rather different from modern beer and not keep quite as well.
>>24657913Mint, too; it'll go nicely with many things we make, and a little goes a long way.
>>24658060>>24657913We'll want whatever spices and aromatics we can find in the area. Which probably won't be as much as we'd like, spices tend to be finicky as hell about where they're willing to grow.It's looking at this sort of thing which reminds me of how many of my favorite spices originate from places like India, China, Indonesia, and Central America. There's so many spices we don't have access to.
Also, since we're growing pumpkin right now, we should keep an eye out for the spices needed to make pumpkin pie.And we could make custard really easily; we have milk and eggs. Baked custard-filled bread would make an excellent pastry.
>>24658202We do have some supernatural help in getting things to grow well, so I don't think we'll have too much trouble cultivating spices if we can find them.
Since we have honey, we could also make one of the simplest sweets of all: caramel.Just be careful when experimenting with making it to not ever let it solidify in a pan you ever want to use again.
>>24658219Oh yeah, magic, that's always helpful. Though I'm not sure if the seed shop would even have most of them.>>24658209Looking it up, the most common pumpkin pie spices are cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, and cloves.All of these are pretty exotic and won't be easy to get if it's even possible. Most of them originate either in Sri Lanka, India, or Indonesia, specifically the Moluccas, with the exception of allspice which is from Central America. We can still make pumpkin pie of a sort, but it won't taste like your mother's pumpkin pie, it'll be very different. Still delicious, just a very different spice and flavor profile.
>people are still posting in this threadI guess I'm not as bad as I think.
>>24658443Cinnamon and allspice seem plausible, at least. I agree that the rest are unlikely in this setting.
Going off of food and sweets for a moment, bees also mean we have access to wax. We can use that to make candles and wicks, and coat our cheese in it as a preserving agent.Oh, and once we have mead, we should make some mead bread. Puts beer bread to shame.
>>24658448Food is a tantalizing tech tree of tasty.
>>24658448We like agriculture and cooking. And you, we also like you.>>24658472Cinnamon especially, cinnamon has been being exported around since 2000 BC. That should be obtainable.>>24658480We however can not use it for kinky sex purposes as beeswax burns very hot and I don't really want give third degree burns to our lovely ladies.
>>24658480>you can make bread with beerFuck it, I'm never going to school again. I'm going to browse /tg/ 24/7 for four years and print myself off a general bachelors degree.
>>24658733A little known aspect of /tg/: we used to hang out with /ck/ a lot.Never doubt a fa/tg/uy's dedication to food in all it's myriad and glorious forms.
>>24658733The general principle is that you need something similar to yeast to make bread foam and rise; if you look at a slice of bread, the pockmarked appearance comes from the bubbles and foaming in the breadmaking process. Beer and several other fermented beverages can serve the same purpose as yeast in that process.
>>24658797There's that and the fact that in this setting, food is basically a technology advancement tree. You need A and B to get C, that and D to get E, some exotic cooking equipment and techniques to turn that into F, and F is F'n tasty.
>>24658733The first beers were made, presumably by accident, by taking sweet bread, getting it moist, and forgetting about it. They found it later and found that it was both delicious and made them feel happy. It's cyclical. Beer comes from bread, bread can come from beer. Actually there's a 3800 year old Sumerian beer recipe that we've managed to find that instructs you to take bread, bake it, malt barley, add the bread and the malt to a mash, then let it cool, strain it, put it in the fermenter, leave it alone, and then drink it. They probably used straws as we have evidence of them having it and it ends up making very thick chewy beer. http://etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/cgi-bin/etcsl.cgi?text=t.4.23.1&display=Crit&charenc=gcirc&lineid=t4231.p1#t4231.p1>>24658806Well there's the carbonation from the beer, but beer that hasn't been filtered much will have a layer of sediment made out of live and dead yeast. So if it's a homebrew or a craftbrew you'll also get the leavening from that. If you don't have any yeast in the beer you'll end up with a very dense loaf of bread.
>>24658873It's amazing how many things happened through the magic of "I think it went bad, but I'm starving so I'm going to eat it anyway".
>>24658906What I want to know is how we figured out Red Berry A is good to eat, but Red Berry B will kill you. I mean, this kind of crap must have killed so many people every time humanity expanded into new territory.
>>24658935In many cases, yes, though humans are more durable than most people think (and in some ways, ancient humans had strengths modern humans don't). Plus we're a clever species - before seeing if Red Berry A and Red Berry B were safe to eat, smart humans got their rivals to taste test.
>>24658873Yeast is one approach, but you can also leaven bread with an acid/alkaline combination.And to take a completely different approach, we could just make sponge cake, which doesn't require leavening; you just froth the batter manually. Pound cake is one example. And it goes very well with fruit, like the strawberries we're growing right now.>>24658935Animals are a big hint. If you see an animal eating berry A and staying away from berry B, you might want to do the same.Also, "poisonous" is a big scale; eat something new in small quantities and hope you just get sick without actually dying.Beyond that, yes, people likely died trying new things, and we learned from them.
>>24658935I'm not an expert in survivalist stuff but if I remember correctly this is the standard procedure for finding out if something is safe to eat and you don't have the choice to not eat it.First, break it up into its component parts, leaves, stems, berries, roots, and so on. These all count as separate things to be tested independently. Choose a part and proceed from here. Rub it on your skin, wait a while, see if anything happens, then hold it on your lips for a while, see if anything happens, lick it for a while, see if anything happens, chew it for a while but don't swallow, see if anything happens, swallow some, wait a long while, try eating more, see what happens.Obviously if anything hinky happens stop and don't go further on that part. And if you can cook stuff, do so, things are always less likely to kill you if you cook it.Also humans have very robust digestive systems, we're fucking omnivores and back in the day we sometimes had to live off of carrion, rotting meat, and whatever plants we found. We're badass motherfuckers.Cooking is also the best thing ever for us because it means instead of having to spend hours upon hours upon hours chewing a fucking tuber to get nutrition from it we just cooked it and ate it in an absurdly short amount of time compared to everyone else.>>24658992Mmm, pound cake. I can't wait for us to get our wheat grown so we can make cake, beer, vodka, pastries, and so on. We will stumble through the middle of the town, all three of us, drunk as fuck, not wearing pants, while eating delicious cake.
>>24659000>Mmm, pound cake. I can't wait for us to get our wheat grown so we can make cake, beer, vodka, pastries, and so on. We will stumble through the middle of the town, all three of us, drunk as fuck, not wearing pants, while eating delicious cake.No pants because we just discovered the wonders of starch (potatoes!), and we're currently laundering them.
>>24659010>starching your pantsIt's like you enjoy chafing.
>>24659017In large quantities, starch can definitely turn clothing stiffer; that's more common with shirts (particularly dress shirts) than pants. However, in smaller quantities it helps keep clothes clean; it helps protect the underlying fabric from oils and dirts.
Oh, hey, I just realized that since we're growing both wheat and tomatoes, we can make pasta.