"While the dwarves as a whole are hellbent on accumulating as many Achievements for their race as possible, the very foundations of dwarven society itself are anchored upon two keystones: mining and alcohol. This chapter focuses on the second."Dwarves are unique in that their metabolisms are specifically adapted to alcoholic drinks; often times, all they drink is alcohol, and they only drink water under great duress (i.e. during times of illness or when there is nothing else to drink). Dwarves have a much higher tolerance as a result, and for the most part, they simply grow happier and more productive the more they drink."Of course, dwarves CAN become as inebriated as anyone else, which leads to the dwarf in question losing his common sense, yet seeing a rise in his motor skills."Unsurprisingly, this can lead to some truly terrifying situations."(Cont.)
>>24538061-----------------------------------------------Ogir Place (+Floating, +Limbs, +Sandstorm Drill, +Magma Shield, +Steering Wheel)-----------------------------------------------Population: 153/153 ogres (6 dead), 84/84 elves, ∞/∞ patchwings, 50/50 Solar Skellies- [Landmarks] Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry [50% mined]- [Food] Cacti(-ow), Fungi, Wheat, Potatoes, Ravager Meat, Milk; Fair Growth (+32/turn)- [Resources] Hellfire Energy [Captive Archdemon Lord], Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles- [Diplomacy] Scaratone [ALLIED; Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves [UNITED]; Achievement Hunter Dwarves [???]- [Key Items] Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I), Crazy Ghost's Books- [Arms] Cactus Maces, Iron Scimitars, Heat-Seeking Rokkit Launchers, Short-Ranged Bow+Arrow, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage- [Vocations] OGRES: Geo (∞), Berserks (4), BMasters (1), Rockkits (0), Riders (0), Heallusionist (0)- [Beasts] Giant Bats (trained), Naked Mole Ravagers (trained)- [Settlement] Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, Anchor/Staircase, THE FLAMES OF HELL- [NPCs] Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy, +WE ALL GEOMANCERS NOW, +Ruoumoko], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Beast Whisperer, Big Vulture], Celicia Silverstone [???], Vultan [???]- [Tech] Fire, Fish, Agriculture[+Protection], Cooking, Tea, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships, Ur-Cartography- [Magic] Geomancy X, Healing I, Illusion I, Necromancy I, Time I, Climate Control 0- [Economy] System=Barter; Currency=Shit- [Justice] Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best-----------------------------------------------ROLLS>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID>90-98: Stupidly Successful>60-90: Successful>40-60: Adequate>10-40: Not So Good>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT >1: LUCKY STUPID(Cont.)
>>24538069In the midst of a pitched battle between the Scaratones and the Formichroma, Boss Bawss Fistboss stands smack-dab in the middle of the Formichroma formation, facing down their somewhat incensed leader-prophet and a circle of angry warriors.On the plus side, Boss Bawss may have just talked the Yellow Ant into a ceasefire and helped improve the lot of one Coreweaver, a spider demon who moonlights as a fearsome sword.On the other hand, in accordance with their strategy, the small squad of dwarven sappers- the ogres' allies- has just driven a large drilling machine into the middle of the Formichroma formation for a truly terrifying hit-and-run attack. Judging by the sticks of lit dynamite held by the dwarven leader, Lockstock, he plans to blow the ant men to smithereens before taking off.This would be excellent if not for the fact that Boss Bawss was very close to getting the Formichroma to agree to meet and address their grievances against the Scaratones in a peaceful manner."Foul treachery!" the Yellow Ant hisses, glaring at Boss Bawss Fistboss. "Of course! I knew it was too good to be true! First squad, to me! Attack this- this brute! Second squad, take care of the metal monstrosity!" The prophet- missing an arm and a weapon- hefts his shield anyway, getting ready to charge Boss Bawss."Boss Bawss!" Lockstock chortles, waving with a free hand. "Might wanna back up a bit there, lad, I'm about to give these bastards a right and proper dwarven greeting! WELCOME TO DIE!" he roars, getting ready to hurl explosives at the Formichroma running toward the drilling machine.... yeah, this ain't good in more ways than one.[ ] [FLEE] Back out of the range of the explosives, let events take their course![ ] [DWARVES] Stop Lockstock from blowing everything up! He's making a grave mistake![ ] [PROPHET] Try to reason with the Yellow Ant! It's a misunderstanding![ ] [BOTH] (Roll Required!) Get both sides to back down at the same time![ ] [WRITE-IN]
[BOTH]Quick!! Stop the Dwarves from blowing things up, then explain the mistake to the Prophet ant.Give him a hat for good measure. Bitches love ogre hats. That'll win him over and he'll see that this was all a simple mistake involving dwarves and alchoholism.Then give Lockstock a hat too, for good measure. Hand out hats like Bawss is Ogre Santa. Hats make everything better.
>>24538090[X] [BOTH] (Roll Required!) Get both sides to back down at the same time!"EVERYONE SIT DOWN! WE AIN'T DONE TALKIN!"
>>24538069OGRE TIME![ ] [BOTH] (Roll Required!) Get both sides to back down at the same time!
>>24538090>[ ] [WRITE-IN]Hug Yellow close to you to protect him and fuss out Lockstock!
Rolled 75>>24538090Both of course.
>>24538090>[X] [BOTH]AND TO NO ONE'S SURPRISE->***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Rolled 46WITH THE POWER OF HATS, WE CANNOT FAIL!!
>>24538368Oh the irony.
hah lucky 7s
Rolled 37>>24538353Ogre time!
>>24538361>>24538363>>24538368How mediocre.You know, we've been saving up a Goddess of Luck Intervention for a long while. Might be a good time to pull that out.
Rolled 82>>24538361He rolled 38 and has 38 in his post No.Doubles??
>>24538396We talked about this before anon.
nope, only dice count
>>24538396The problem with that is that EVERYONE within the past 1000 posts has a 38 in its title.... though it IS a diplomacy roll, anyway, so it's probably a moot point.
>>24538394>How mediocre.Not when I shift into...MAXIMUM OGREDRIVE!
so we got a successfull with all our 30-40 rolls hah
>>24538430Yeah with a +30 it be hard to fail. Doable but hard.
>>24538430I personally thought doubles was either two posts within the top three having the same roll, or the roll itself being doubles. Which one is allowed depending on how Blorp feels at the moment. Besides 68 is fine. Though, if this goes into a fight I don't think anyone will mind. It's been a good long while since we've had to krump something.
Rolled 31>>24538353Here we go
bump, I wanna join in on the fun. :)
>>24538430Diplomancy you say?!Sweet sweet +30 bonus.
Rolled 39Can anyone else imagine this as bosses theme song?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyPhsFxnc_c...With a few lyric changes of course.
>>24538462 believe it's the first three, so it's 76. A bit better, but not stupid lucky, sadly.
>>24538353>>24538090>>24538361>[X] [BOTH] Convince both sides to stand down at the same time!>38 (+30 Diplomancer) - Successful...?Boss Bawss Fistboss doesn't have much time to act, and he knows it. So he simply says the first thing that comes to mind:"No one here is blowing anyone else up today!" the larger ogre rumbles, crossing his arms in direct defiance of the grim reality.... and that certainty in Boss Bawss's voice is enough to give the Yellow Ant pause. "He's not?" the prophet asks."I'm not?" Lockstock echoes, looking just as confused as his erstwhile bombing target."Nope. It's a misunderstandin', 'cause this was the plan we agreed on before I talked at you a bunch an' gave peace a chance." Boss Bawss Fistboss reaches into an emergency compartment located on his Ogretek Armor and pulls out a genuine Made-In-Ogir-Place hat. It's a creation he's really quite proud of, staying true to the ogres' traditional rock-and-snake-entrail based headwear while incorporating some newer trends, such as writing, tea-brewing, and Featherstone flight. The result is a deceptively cluttered clusterfuck of crude ABCs and Featherstone-dusted tea leaves tethered to the hat like some sort of freakish scented halo.This he places on the Yellow Ant's head. "Dis is a token of my epilepsy," Boss Bawss rumbles gravely.Lockstock raises his hand. "... er, I think you mean apology."(cont.)
>>24538987"... an' here's a token of you correctin' my words," Boss Bawss smoothly adds, turning away from the Yellow Ant's bemused attempts to wear his hat. The larger ogre takes out an exact copy of the hat and hands it to the dwarf. "So please don't blow us up."The dwarf takes a moment to put out his explosives, licking his fingers and disabling the fuses one by one, before accepting his gift with as much dignity as he can muster.Well, now that THAT'S been defused(?)...[ ] [STAND DOWN] Try to get the Yellow Ant to stand down his Formichroma army![ ] [SCARATONE] Get back to the Scaratone Queen, they have to stop fighting![ ] [WRITE-IN]
Voting for Goddess of Luck intervention. We've been saving it for so long for this battle. Now or never.
>>24538997[X] [STAND DOWN] Try to get the Yellow Ant to stand down his Formichroma army!
>>24538997[X] [WRITE-IN] PARLEY - Move through the fighting units, Bawss and Yellow Ant pulling everybody back, and let's us get people together for a formal parley.Even if we can't make peace, we could at least set down formal rules and etiquette for the war to lessen the loss of lives, hats, sanity, etc.
>>24538997[ ] [WRITE-IN]Just go into the cave and Yell "EVERYBODY STOP FIGHTIN!"
>>24539063supported. maybe explain by saying "WE FRIENDS NOW"
Oh yeah.Blorp you are a son of a bitch for reminding me of Sim Ant, and by extension reminding me of Warcraft 3's Sim-Ant custom games, and THEREFOR reminding me that Warcraft 3's custom game scene is dead as fuck because of the DOTA bots.I hate and love you at the same time.
>>24539063This Then we can make peace or at least set down rules to lessen the loss of hats.
Rolled 93>>24539063Everybody: "Are you for real?"Boss: "Does I look not real?"I support this action.
>>24539244>Boss Bawss Fistboss' face when they continue fighting.If I wasn't so lazy I would ogre-fy this.
>>24539063I vote for this course of action
>>24539063>>24539163>>24539244This is obviously the only course of action
>>24538997>>24539063>>24539163This indeed.It's parsley time.
>>24538997>[X] [WRITE-IN]Well, the Formichroma's leader HAS agreed to stop fighting, if only temporarily; frankly, the only thing left at this point is to make sure everyone else knows it, too.Now, there's probably going to be a time lag problem. Boss Bawss has to make sure all leaders involve know of the Yellow Ant's agreement, and then there would STILL be fighting until soldiers on both sides get the message.... which is why, with true ogre bullheadedness, Boss Bawss Fistboss simply inhales until he resembles nothing more than a big blue bullfrog, cups his hands around his mouth, and then lets loose."EVERYBODY STOP FIGHTIN'! WE FRIENDS NOW."For the most part, the soldiers closest to Boss Bawss get the message and put down their arms; the closest Formichroma already knew of what happened to their leader, while the Scaratones also slow to a standstill, falling into a defensive formation while trying to figure out what's going on. (Needless to say, the ogres on the front lines stop immediately.)Farther back, though, the message is slower to get through. All down the chain of command, the Formichroma are passing down the message given to them by their prophet, but...Boss Bawss frowns as the sounds of fighting don't seem to be letting up.So, of course, he simply takes this as his cue to try once more.
>>24539530>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Rolled 82>>24539548STUPIDITY HO!
Rolled 29>>24539548ROLLAN FOR VICTRY
Rolled 51>>24539569>29...REROLLAN FOR VICTRY
>>24539555Well, this should be good.
Rolled 40>>24539555Triple fives!
Rolled 81>>24539548"STOP FIGHTING!">Echo causes cave-inOops.
Rolled 90>>24539615>Echo causes cave in>Implying Scaratone engineering is that shittyWut
Rolled 93>>24539615>>24539639well this will be interesting
Rolled 69>>24539639>Implying Ogres don't bend the laws of reality over a table and make sweet love to them all the time.It's Ogres bro.
>>24539711>>Implying Ogres don't bend the laws of reality over a table and make sweet diplomacy to them all the time.FTFY
>>24539555>SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANTExcellent.
>>24539875That *and* trips.
Rolled 46>>24539548THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY
>>24539530>>24539555>8 - SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANTWell, if yelling really really loudly won't work, then perhaps it's time to try another method.Ignoring the slightly suspicious stare of the Yellow Ant, Boss Bawss calmly saunters back over to his Ogretek Armor and hops into the cockpit. After taking a moment to study the dashboard, the large ogre picks up a strange, vaguely banana-shaped device and starts pressing buttons. Then he leans back and waits, listening curiously to the muffled ringing sound coming out the receiver.A few seconds later, Boss Bawss hears a click and the rather confused voice of the Scaratone Queen. "Hello?" Kilkkarak chitters cautiously."Hi Queenie, it's da Boss," Boss Bawss rumbles."... gathered as much, yes-yes. Now... Boss Bawss, how did you make the nearest Scaratone mage ring like a bell, and why is your voice coming out of his mouth?""Dat's not da important bit," Boss Bawss replies, steamrolling over her questions. "I got da Formichroma prophet right here, an' he's agreeing to call off da big krumpin' for now. Should probably stop your boys from fightin', too."There's a moment of stunned silence. "The- the Yellow Ant, he has truly agreed?" Queen Kilkkarak gasps, all trace of levity gone from her tone. "Vowed to cleanse the land of Scaratones, and he has agreed to stop fighting!?""Yah.""S-See what I can do, I will! But- are you sure we can trust him?" the Scaratone Queen adds, sounding a trace more cautious. "Besides, it will take time to get the word out to all the troops-""Nah, hold on, I got it." Boss Bawss shifts the phone to between his cheek and shoulder, pressing a bunch more buttons. "I'm puttin' this on conference call.""- wait, Boss Bawss, that might not be-"For one whole nearly deafening minute, even the sounds of battle were overridden as hundreds of confused and terrified magic-sensitive individuals started ringing, filling the cavern with the sounds of bells gone absolutely wild.(Cont.)
>>24540085Some time later, both sides have retreated to their respective ends of the cavern, allowing an impromptu conference to be formed smack-dab in the middle. The parley has yet to begin; on one end, the Formichroma stand gathered behind their leader. The other end is much less uniform, being filled with a motley mix of Scaratones and the ogres' various allies.There's a little time to talk up some people before the discussion begins in earnest.[ ] [SCARATONE] Talk to Queen Kilkkarak of the Scaratones, get some more info.[ ] [ALLIES] Talk to the ogres' various other allies (elves, dwarves, patchwings) to get a second opinion.[ ] [FORMICHROMA] Talk to the Yellow Ant, make sure they're cool with this.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>24540098[X] [SCARATONE] Talk to Queen Kilkkarak of the Scaratones, get some more info.Let's talk to Queenie first, she has more info for us I'm sure.
>>24540098>[ ] [SCARATONE] Talk to Queen Kilkkarak of the Scaratones, get some more info.
>>24540098[X] [WRITE-IN] Get it on with the Yellow Ant first. Introduce him a bit to our allies. Then head on over to Queenie.
Rolled 3>>24540098Allies first, then the buggies. Then we hold the worlds first episode of Dr Phil, Ogre Style. And if that all fails, get Gubbins to pull the roof off and threaten anyone who stops fighting with the threat of being stepped on.
>>24540098>[ ] [FORMICHROMA] Talk to the Yellow Ant, make sure they're cool with this.
>>24540085Oh my god.You beautiful motherfucker.
>>24540098just throwing it out there, but maybe we should allow Coreweaver to participate in the discussion
>>24540085>>24540098...We have a magic phone. This is best quest ever.
>>24540085Wait we have a phone? We should order some takeout.
>>24540170Oh!I like this idea.
>>24540098>[ ] [SCARATONE] Talk to Queen Kilkkarak of the Scaratones, get some more info.Look, Queenie, they aren't exactly friendly, but at least they'll back off from murdering all of you.
>>24540205Excellent idea.[X] WRITE-IN: Order some take-out food for this conference meeting. It might go on a bit and I'm sure everyone would appreciate having something to eat while we talk.
>>24540264We better get it in 5 minutes or it's free.
>>24540264I support this genius idea.>>24540170Along with this.
>>24540170Absolutely. I think she'd have some cutting comments to add.
Rolled 1>>24540264This. So much this. I can't possibly see how ordering takeout would fail.
>>24540085>Ignoring the slightly suspicious stare of the Yellow Ant, Boss Bawss calmly saunters back over to his Ogretek Armor and hops into the cockpit. After taking a moment to study the dashboard, the large ogre picks up a strange, vaguely banana-shaped device and starts pressing buttons. Then he leans back and waits, listening curiously to the muffled ringing sound coming out the receiver.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5C6X9vOEkU
>>24540436The dice roll COMMANDS it!
Rolled 48>>24540436Oh boy.
>>24540436The dice would seem to disagree. Apparently it can fail *exactly according to plan*.
>>24540437I KNEW SOMEONE WAS GOING TO LINK THAT SONG
>>24540436>>24540448Oh for fucks sake.
>>24540436AND HERE. WE. GO.
>>24540457I KNEW YOU KNEW
>>245404561 is LUCKY STUPID.It's....good.
>>24540490Exactly. That anon did not possibly see how ordering takeout would fail, but Blorp knows how it can fail into something even more gloriously awesome.
>>24540513>but Blorp knows how it can fail into something even more gloriously awesom>try to call take-out>don't know what take-out is>punch in some random numbers>hear a weird voice>tell voice we need food>suddenly, time-space warping ice cream
>>24540458>>24540464>>24540490Dunno if those will count, Blorp didn't >STUPID LUCKY TIME!Yet.
>>24540563We could roll for it, sure.But the roll, at least, means Blorp could....consider doing it.Like last thread, remember?
>>24540436>>24540448BLORP.YOU CAN'T NOT CONSIDER DOING THIS NOW.
>>24540563For something as silly and inconsequential as ordering takeout, we should be allowed to break space and time. If it was anything else I would agree with you, though.
>>24540584>>24540571>>24540587>>24540563Yes, the takeout rolls will count.Oh, will they ever count.
>>24540604You just love it don't you, you masochist?
>>24540085>>24540098>[X] [SCARATONE] Check up with Queen Kilkkkarak!>[X] And get Coreweaver in on discussions! (Later)>[X] ... and order takeout! (Later)>1 for takeout - LUCKY STUPIDRight then. Boss Bawss stays on his side of the group for now, glancing over to where the Scaratone Queen towers over her subjects. First order of business is to make sure everyone's all on the same page.... well, no, BEFORE that, the first order of business is to put in a quick phone call to an unrelated third party, but that's neither here nor there.Queen Kilkkarak holds up a hand to forestall the protests of her advisers, looking down at the larger ogre as he trundles on over. "Boss Bawss Fistboss! Brute-warrior of the hour," she says with no small amount of fondness. "Advisers are having nervous breakdowns, yes-yes, trying to figure out what magic you used to sway the Formichroma.""... yah, about dat." Boss Bawss Fistboss scratches his head. "So you sure you're okay with dis? I mean, you guys probably got a lotta dislike for da Formichroma all bottled up after all these years, so I was just wonderin' what your plan was gonna be.""Isn't it obvious?" the Scaratone Queen replies gravely. "Murder all those Formichroma who are warriors or are of age to be warriors, take their larvae and pupae as food, and enslave the workers."(Cont.)
>>24540742Queen Kilkkarak waits just long enough for the silence to grow awkward before chittering with amusement. "Apologies, apologies. Was simply joke in bad taste, yes-yes! It WAS the suggestion of a CERTAIN few advisers," she adds, shooting a frosty glare at the group of finely-adorned Scaratones next to her- a few of them squirm guiltily. "But that is the sort of thinking that got both Scaratone and Formichroma ancestors in this mess in the first place."Boss Bawss once again scratches his head, shifting his hat to get at his scalp. "... er, don't think da Yellow Ant would like dat joke very much.""Probably not," Queen Kilkkarak replies, as irreverently as she usually does. The large beetle-like queen taps her claws against her arms. "Though I hope he won't make similar jokes in response, yes-yes. Like some nonsense about expelling us from our lands in exchange for peace."Boss Bawss furrows his brow in thought.[ ] [PARLEY] Get the parley started![ ] [PRESS] Ask what Queen Kilkkarak hopes to get out of this parley.[ ] [COREWEAVER] Introduce Queen Kilkkarak to the demon spider sword![ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>24540752>[ ] [PRESS] Ask what Queen Kilkkarak hopes to get out of this parley.>[ ] [COREWEAVER] Introduce Queen Kilkkarak to the demon spider sword!
>>24540766thisAlso>[WRITE-IN]Ask if she wants anything, and if she'd be alright to split a bill when take out arrives
>>24540752>...nonsense about expelling us from our lands in exchange for peaceYeah.....We might want to check in with Yellow Ant first.And, also, get his name.
>>24540793Yeah, we might be diplomancing right now but if Yellow Ant pulls something like that on our friends we're going to introduce him to the Pink Panther.
>>24540821>Pink Panther.... What?
>>24540604The great thing was that I rolled that 1 completely by accident. I forgot to clear out the email field.Ogre Luck is the BEST!!
>>24540830Dead-ant dead-ant, dead-ant, dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant dead-aaaaaant.....
>>24540852Ah. How witty.
>>24540867Shut up bitch.
>>24540793>>24540781>>24540766Why not introduce her to Coreweaver, ask if she minds splitting the bill, and go over and check up on the Yellow ant? We need to know his name.
>>24540752This, also see if he wants in on the take out.
>>24540752>>24540766>>24540781You have my support.
>>24540875What this guy said.
>>24540894>>24540781>So um, I here did ting called Chai-neeze is what youze supposed to eat. We cool? Dat's okay? We can go for Cuhrry, but dat looks too much like poop you know?>Oh wait, you guys eat poop.
>>24540781This all the way
Kinda want the food to be delivered by a lovecraftian eldrich horror in a suit ( it's Chinese food)
>>24540871b-b-but I actually thought it was funny ;_;
>>24540940Seems like the patchwings would be perfectly equipped to deliver food for everyone, including the Scaratones. They're not housebroken, after all.
>>24540752>[ ] [COREWEAVER] Introduce Queen Kilkkarak to the demon spider sword!She doesn't know about the sword, and it is the most important thing at the moment.
>>24540975I think the response to your response was another joke. I just don't really remember where I saw that one, Captcha seems to think it has something to do with an indignant Mr. Eguyin, that or a mreguyin.
>>24540967Only if he is a friendly eldritch horror>HELLOOOOO, MORTALSSSSS>I HAVE BROUGHT YOU...NUUUUTRIEEEENTSSS!
Rolled 13>>24541154What is that from again?
>>24541224Looks like drawfaggotry of Nested.http://orteil.dashnet.org/nested
>>24540752>[X] [PRESS] What do the Scaratone want?>[X] [COREWEAVER] Introduce Queenie to the demon spider sword!>[X] [WRITE-IN] Check up on the Yellow Ant. IS that what he wants?"So... wot ARE you bringin' to the- er, you know, a big flat surface you use to put food on-"Queen Kilkkarak blinks. "A table?""Yeah, dat's da bunny," Boss Bawss snaps his fingers as he remembers. "Wot are you bringin' to da negotiating table?""Peace," Queen Kilkkarak replies immediately. "Frankly, we want them to leave us alone, yes-yes. No more nonsense about war prophecies. No Scaratone Queen should ever have to look over her shoulder, wondering if hers will be the generation that sees the return of the Formichroma. I will ask for nothing more than that-"The Scaratone Queen's advisers all speak up at once, jostling with each other as they try to give voice either to their support, their neutral noncommittal statements, or fifty trillion reasons why that is a bad idea."- but as my advisers have noted," Queen Kilkkarak adds, speaking over their chitters. "We really have no way to know if they will honor their word. Or know if they will truly put an end to their prophecies, yes-yes. As long as the Formichroma Prophet holds the demon sword-""Oh, you mean this one?" Boss Bawss asks, pulling out Coreweaver from where she was stabbed into the ground next to the ogre's Ogretek Armor.(cont.)
>>24541335Almost as one, all of the Scaratones within viewing distance of the demon sword make a mad scramble backward, their terrified eyes glued to Coreweaver."What the hell, Boss Bawss!?" Queen Kilkkarak trills in horror, sounding more shaken than the ogre has ever heard her before. "How did you get your hands on the cursed blade, Coreweaver!?""Eh, well, we met Coreweaver in some weirdo temple place whose entrance was in da third cavern," Boss Bawss replies easily, making sure to slide the blade back out of sight to avoid any beetle-men heart attacks. "She's a pretty nice demon spider lady, but da Yellow Ant and his people were being kinda mean to her."It takes Queen Kilkkarak a moment to wrap her mind around that. "... putting that aside for now, why do YOU hold it- her?""Oh, I tore da Yellow Ant's arm off."For a solid five seconds, Queen Kilkkarak's mandibles open and close, but no sound comes out. "... I will not lie," she eventually says. "But that changes many things, yes-yes. Ancient records speak of the terror wrought upon us by the Formichroma wielding that blade. If they no longer hold it, then... yes-yes, we shall see.""Okay then! I'm gonna go have a quick chat wit' da Yellow Ant," Boss Bawss rumbles. "See wot he's got to say before we get started. -- oh, and Queenie, are you willin' to split da bill?"Queen Kilkkarak... blinks. "Is that a euphemism for doing something untoward and/or unseemly?" she says carefully."Nah, nah, I was just gonna get some food delivered and was askin' 'bout payment. Oh, and if ya got any preferences."The ogre swears he hears Queen Kilkkarak click her tongue(-analogue). "Payment shall not be an issue," she replies loftily. "We are basically at my house, so I shall be the one to pay. Surprise me.""Got it. Seeya in a bit, Queenie."(Cont.)
>>24541245>Dick around>Discover Sharkverse>It's all nothing but Dyson Spheres as far as the eye can see.
>>24541344It's not a long walk to the Formichroma side, but Boss Bawss Fistboss makes damn well sure that Coreweaver is held in a non-threatening manner and that he comes alone."Hey, just got a few quick questions 'fore we get this whole shebang started," Boss Bawss rumbles at the Yellow Ant, apropos of nothing...[ ] [PEACE] So, what DOES he want for it?[ ] [HISTORY] So what's this about the Scaratone Hives formerly belonging to the Formichroma?[ ] [COREWEAVER] What's going to happen to her?[ ] [WRITE-IN]Yes, we will be asking him what he wants for takeout.
>>24541355>[PEACE]>[COREWEAVER] Maybe we can put her on community service for eating all those bugs and stuffoh and>[ARM] Does he want it back?
>>24541355Let's not directly ask about history; it'll come up anyway if the Formichroma want it to. And there's little question about what happens to Coreweaver: whatever Coreweaver wants, and anyone who says otherwise is gittin' a krumpin'.So:[X] [PEACE] And what're yous all bringin' to the diplomancin' tables?
>>24541378This has my full support.
>>24541378>>[ARM] >Does he want it back?This. One upon a time we couldn't reattach a severed limb without amazing luck and resolve, butt these days...
>>24541400haha 'butt'. Heh
>>24541355Peace and Coreweaver. Oh. And Arm. We can fix that. Probably.
>>24541355>[ALL OF THE ABOVE]Might as well get as much information as we can. Negotiation requires intelligence, after all.
>>24541425>>24541378Why are we askin' what's happenin' to Coreweaver, rather'n asking Coreweaver n' TELLIN' everyone else how it's gonna be?
>>24541446Or askin Coreweaver what she wants.
>>24541446You raise a good point.
>>24541446...dat be awful wise, dat.
>>24541446Because this is a n-e-g-o-t-i-aw fuck it it's too long to spell out.
>>24541446Negotiation, man. Can't just go telling people what's what. We gotta cooperate and come to a solution everyone likes.That being said, Coreweaver should definitely have a say. Asking her is a great idea.
[History] We need to know which areas we'd diplomance over and make them all be friends and shit.Afterwards, we go for the spider waifu
>>24541470>>24541478We're negotiating a peace between the Formichroma and the Scaratones, and that much will require some careful diplomancing. But the sword fairly clearly isn't culpable for the hand that controls and swings it. So nobody's saying what happens to Coreweaver except Coreweaver.
I ALMOST FORGOT SUMTHIN IMPORTANT. DO THEY SELL BOOZE???
>>24541497>we go for the spider waifuWe got those in spades, man.
>>24541478>>24541470Coreweaver is a living person and a friend. Dis here be non-negotiable.
>>24541505>>24541533Well she did eat lots of bug people. If they think she needs to make up for it then maybe she can do something nice for them.We're not going to give her up in any case, as we guarantee her safety and freedom. But she's been a pretty big part of their culture and history so if we can get them to all play nice and bear no grudges, that will be the best way to cement a long lasting peace.
>>24541565Not like she hunted and killed them; the bug people offered them as sacrifices. Which doesn't make it *right*, exactly, but...
>>24541533Lets test the waters before we go rocking the boat. See how people feel about her before we start making crazy demands. >>24541565Maybe we can get her to do some community works for the Formichroma like making them demonic silken hats and in turn they stop using her like a sword and treat her like a proper lady. We can teach them how to do the second bit.And then once this is all over, we get Queenie, Cecilia, Lockstock, Gubbins, Coreweaver, Squiggles, Yellow, and even Bubbles together and have ourselves a tea party.
Whatever the agreement we come to, I for one say we seal this peace agreement with a gigantic group hug. Bawss, Queenie, Yellow Ant, Coreweaver, Lockstock, Celicia, and hell, even Vultan all join together in a giant hug of peace, friendship, and diplomancy!!
>>24541604Hey, if Coreweaver says she just wants to leave and never see them again, and they say no, they'll have to deal with it. But it's best to get everyone's opinions on the matter and work out the best middle ground we can.>>24541610Exactly! Imagine a world where Coreweaver and all the buggies are friends with eachother! It's a beautiful thing.
>>24541610>And then once this is all over, we get Queenie, Cecilia, Lockstock, Gubbins, Coreweaver, Squiggles, Yellow, and even Bubbles together and have ourselves a tea party.You forgot Vultan? How could you forget Vultan?
>>24541660Yes, because I imagined the patchwings and skeletons would be all too thrilled to be the ones making and serving the tea.>SKREE! ITS A TEEEEA!
>>24541726>Patchwing and Skeleton maids>in maid outfitsI don't know if i'm terrified or amused
>>24541726"Ogre?" <My good ogre, could you please see fit to pass the tea down this way?>"Ogre! Ogre?" <Of course good chap. Would you care for some sugar?>"Ogre!" <Naturally my good man. Four lumps, if you please.>
>>24541748If I had to guess, I'd say both....Can we make this happen now?
>>24541355>[x] [PEACE] So, what DOES he want for it?>[x] [HISTORY] So what's this about the Scaratone Hives formerly belonging to the Formichroma?I have to know!
Rolled 31>>24541826rollin for it
>>24541855guess its a no then
Rolled 66>>24541855this needs to happen
>>24541855>>24541871>Trying to force something that won't even happen for a long timeBad form. It's Ogres. Hilarity will happen either way. Don't anger the luck goddess by abusing the dice.
>>24541907good point. Drop the idea guys. Save the roles for later
>>24541355>[ ] [COREWEAVER] What's going to happen to her?I'm more concerned about her then about the Scaratone
>>24541355>[X] [WRITE-IN] ... give him a hand.>[X] [COREWEAVER] Ask her what she wants. Ask the Yellow Ant what he wants. Then, play it by ear.>[X] [PEACE] What do the Formichroma want for it?"Actually, naw. First things first..." Boss Bawss tosses over the Yellow Ant's dismembered arm, which the Formichroma Prophet easily catches. "It ain't sportin' to keep your arm away from you, so you can put it back on now.""... great. How do you expect me to do this, exactly?" the Yellow Ant grumbles, his wariness somewhat blunted by how ridiculous he feels holding his own arm."Like this." Before any of the Formichroma guards can stop him, Boss Bawss reaches over and plugs it back in before standing back to where he was before, all before anyone can react.There's a tense, confused moment as the Yellow Ant blinks and tests his newly reattached arm, rotating it in its socket and curling his fist experimentally."... ignoring how it should be impossible, I suppose I must simply give you my thanks," he chitters in bemusement. "Are you sure you are no wizard?""I dunno, never ate one before," Boss Bawss shrugs. "More importantly, wot's Coreweaver to you guys, anyhow?"The Yellow Ant pauses at that, still unconsciously flexing his reattached arm's hand into a fist as he thinks. "... complicated," he finally replies. "For generations, a deity who embodied mortal terror, fear of the unknown, and everything anathema to our people. An entity we made blood sacrifices to, so that we may continue to survive in this harsh realm, even after being driven out of our home in the sands above."The Formichroma Prophet narrows his eyes. "And then one day, long ago, we took a prisoner from the surface world and brought him deep in our underground hives. There, we learned that Coreweaver is no deity, but something called a 'demon,' flesh and blood monstrosities from another realm."(Cont.)
>>24542181He snorts. "Our prisoner was quite insistent that the gods' rule was over, and taught us how to use Coreweaver's powers for our own ends."The Yellow Ant clacks his mandibles together. "And so we did. Used it as a blade for years, passed down from hand to hand, we took Coreweaver's strength for our own. As recompense for all the Formichroma she devoured."Boss Bawss frowns. Well, that's all well and good, but the voice of Coreweaver- resulting from the ogre keeping the sword in his hand- seems VERY insistent that she stay out of the Formichromas' grasp, and that she would much rather stay with the ogres.... he decides he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it, and moves on to the next order of business. "Puttin' dat aside, wot's your stance on talkin' about peace?""The return of the Formichromas' ancestral lands, or a portion thereof, would be quite nice. But given how stubborn the Scaratone are, and the length of time that has elapsed..." the Yellow Ant trails off, his pride not letting him finish that thought. "... normally, I would say that we can put other things on the table, in consideration. But."The Yellow Ant tilts his head, as if he's either thinking. Or perhaps he's sensing the air. Either way, the Formichroma Prohpet continues on. "... but even without Coreweaver, I am of the mind that the Formichroma people could win this war."Boss Bawss scratches his head, not liking where this is going. "Just gonna throw this out there, we got a LOT of guys on our side right now."(cont.)
>>24542194"And I'm saying they would not matter in the slightest," the Yellow Ant retorts, a measure of his usual confidence seeming to return. "This battle can still be won, with the powers invested in me, the Formichroma Prophet. I am certain of it. No matter what that queen can put on the table, I doubt it will very much be enough."Boss Bawss Fistboss narrows his eyes.[ ] [DUEL] Boss Bawss vs. the Yellow Ant. Let's have him put his money where his mouth is.[ ] [PARLEY] The Yellow Ant must be bluffing. We said we would settle this at the table, and settle it we shall.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>24542209[X] [DUEL] Boss Bawss vs. the Yellow Ant. Let's have him put his money where his mouth is.Sometimes an Ogre has to krump the other guy until they understand the position everyone is in.
>>24542209[X] [DUEL] It's Krump'n time
>>24542209>[ ] [DUEL] Boss Bawss vs. the Yellow Ant. Let's have him put his money where his mouth is.Not to the death. We Krump ya, and we buddies. That's how it works.
>>24542209Well what's more Ogre than justice by krumpin'?[X] DUELIf we win, he's gotta back down and agree to the terms of peace Bawss and Queenie set down.
>>24542209[X] [DUEL] Let's get all that tension out.
Rolled 25>>24542209How about marriage?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sbqv3MwwVd8
>>24542209>[ ] [PARLEY] The Yellow Ant must be bluffing. We said we would settle this at the table, and settle it we shall.Don't get riled up, Boss, that's what he wants.
Rolled 58>>24542209>Write-InPlay a game of Poker. Cecilia said she would never ever play Poker against Bawss.
>>24542209>[DUEL]>[WRITE-IN]So what your saying is that you don't want to keep your arm? Cause it sounds like you don't want to keep your arm. And if you start fighting I'll...I'll... I'll take the hat back!
>>24542209[X] [WRITE-IN] Duel, but by chosen champion.Specifically, Coreweaver. Settles two arguments at once.
>>24542209Krump Duel. It might be time to call on the goddess.
>>24542280Clearly playing him in poker is the only way to advance.
>>24542209>[ ] [DUEL] Boss Bawss vs. the Yellow Ant. Let's have him put his money where his mouth is.FINALLY, a good excuse to krump someone.
Rolled 53>>24542209Write-In"Well ya see mister buggy, we have dis here map dat can fix all yer problems..... prob'ly."
>>24542297Dohoho, you cheeky bastard.As tempting as that is, if he's got the knowledge and power to just bind her again, that would backfire badly.
>>24542260Well, no. It's important to make sure the Formichroma get a say as well.Duel. If Bawss wins, Yellow Ant has to agree on letting things be settled through negotiation, no matter how long it takes to finish.>>24542321Oh, that map. What did it do again? Specifically? If the problem is with living room, we could fix the problem using it...
[Duel] we have frigging ogretek Lagann and Ogir Place Gurren.THIS WILL END WELL (except if the goddess of luck gets her period or something)
>>24542365There's no point dueling if it just means we then enter negotiations like we're going to anyway.We'll be fair.
>>24542371Wait.Maybe we don't have to duel.Maybe we just need to show Yellow Ant our "Ogir Place" (let that now be considered a euphemism).
>>24542387The point is to make it clear to Yellow Ant that going to war isn't an option and that we're willing to negotiate to make sure everyone gets a fair deal out of this.
>>24542365>Oh, that map. What did it do again? Specifically? If the problem is with living room, we could fix the problem using it......that's brilliant."An' how about what we bring to the table? You're krumpin' over the caves, yeah? What if you both had caves just like 'em?"
>>24542411Seems like in that case it would be more dramatically appropriate to save the duel until there's a hitch in negotiations, but I guess this is fine.This guy just needs a good krumpin'.
Rolled 41>>24542365>>24542431Rolling for this.
>>24542444Sorry, it just isn't in the dice.
>>24542444>24<->42"the meaning of life, it's how many hours you got in the day"
>>24542444Roll when asked for, dude, come on.
>>24542431People all over the world screamed in fear as gravity increased due to the world having increased in mass by 17%.
>>24542444I really don't like that rolling for decisions is trying to become a thing. A few ridiculously lucky rolls have accidentally coincided with certain decisions that had plenty of merit on their own, and that was funny and great.Rolling for any idea you like cheapens the whole thing. We should decide things by consensus or it ceases to be a quest and becomes an exercise in dice rolling.
>>24542444Stop it, dude. Let things flow naturally. The only reason I supported the Nat 1 Takeout Food was because of how little relevance to the plot it had. Important stuff like this needs Blorp approval and for him and only him to call for a roll.
Rolled 100>>24542492Frankly, I am just too lazy to take my dice off if it matters.Not the Anons rolling further up though.
>>24542492I very much agree. We roll when Blorp calls for it, and all others should be disregarded. Even if they are 1's or 100's.>>24542460And things like post number shouldn't count either.
>>24542444We can bring it up later during negotiations.
>>24542492I argee.On a side note we should krump the yellow ant just to show him whose Boss
>>24542492Bit of both, I'd think. The best die roll in the world wouldn't make a bad idea a good one, but it could make a good idea hilarious.But yeah, you're right. Leaving the dice on for an idea and having something stupid lucky (or lucky stupid) happen is one thing, but rolling specifically for an idea does seem kinda silly.
Rolled 66>>24542521Consensus, you guys.Let's all be lazy and keep rolling with every post.
>>24542521...now that's hilarious.>>24542535Good call. Map shenanigans won't inherently stop the violence if we don't also have a negotiated (and/or krumped) peace. But they'd sure make it easier to keep that peace.
>>24542521>>24542559Oh for Fucks Sake.
>>24542521That's fine. It's just people deliberately trying to do it is annoying and really against the spirit of things.A good roll left on without purpose bringing attention to an idea that's hilarious already is good.>>24542544Yeah that's a good way to put it.>>24542521>>24542559See this is an example of a hilarious coincidence.Or that the goddess agrees. Either way.
Oh man, I'm late.Hey guys, what's going on i->BOSS DIPLOMANCAN>BOSS ORDERAN TAKEOUT>BOSS REATTACHAN ARMS AGAINHuh.
Hey Blorp, I was wondering, how powerful is the intervention now?NOT SAYING WE SHOULD USE IT, not like we need the damn thing yet...
>>24542782It's a Tuesday all right.
>>24542841As powerful as it ever is, meaning it's as good as a whole lot of doubles all crammed into one.
>>24542859I'm thinking we save that until we get back to negotiating, and use it to make everyone happy, even those who want mutually exclusive things.
>>24542859I'm confused; I remember it being mentioned in a previous thread that the intervention was not an auto-success thing, just that it allowed us to roll again?>>24542952Well, that would depend entirely on how well the duel with Yellow Ant goes.
>>24542972>I'm confused; I remember it being mentioned in a previous thread that the intervention was not an auto-success thing, just that it allowed us to roll again?We typically use it after trying a normal roll, but no, it's pretty much an automatic multi-1-100-doubles-of-awesome.
>>24542972You know all those doubles that never get used cause they come too late?Yeah, it's supposed to be based off that.
>>24542209>[X] [DUEL] Boss Bawss vs. the Yellow Ant. Let's have him put his money where his mouth is.Well, it looks like the Yellow Ant won't back down- or at least, it'll be HARD to get him to back down. And with the relationship between the Scaratones and Formichroma as strained as it is already, this kind of attitude could be a problem for the parley...Boss Bawss nods grimly. "Yah, I can agree to dat."The Formichroma blinks. "What, just like that? What of all the things you said before, about 'krumping leading to more krumping'?"Boss Bawss shrugs, a toothy grin splitting his face. "I'm not krumpin' ya to keep on krumpin', I'm krumpin' ta make you sit down an' talk, AND to put an end to da endless krumpin' between you guys!"After Boss Bawss clears this duel with the Scaratone Queen and his own allies, it's not long before both sides gather in the middle of the cavern, forming a makeshift arena large enough for both combatants.Perhaps unsurprisingly, Celicia was the most against this plan of action; to hear her explain it, she knows that Boss Bawss thrashed the Yellow Ant once before (which is the reason behind the Scaratone Queen's utmost confidence in Boss Bawss), but something about this situation doesn't sit right with her. Boss Bawss turns the elf's words in his mind, and her urging him to be careful of whatever the Yellow Ant has up his sleeve.(Cont.)
>>24543070As Boss Bawss, wielding nothing but his own two fists, steps up inside the circle, ringed by Scaratones on his side (among others) and Formichroma behind the Yellow Ant, he reflects that the cavern really doesn't feel that small with all these humanoids milling around. "You ready for a good clean krumpin', fightin' to da first KO?" he rumbles, putting up his dukes.The Yellow Ant, armored in that silvery metal as he always is, clacks his mandibles in response. "Perhaps. Or perhaps not." After a moment, the Formichroma tilts his head again, homing in with senses available only to him."... let us begin."And then, in an inexplicable bolt of lightning, the Yellow Ant disappears completely.(Cont.)
>>24543086There's a moment of awkward silence, before the spectators both sides begin to murmur in growing confusion."... did he throw the fight?" the Scaratone Queen chitters hopefully, the levity in her tone forced as she tenses up."Bah! No way he'd do something like that!" Lockstock growls, tilting the edge of his mining helmet up to get a better look around. "That was the attitude of a man with something to prove, mark my words!""This isn't right." Other than that, Celicia remains silent, her long ears twitching every now and then- and then her eyes snap wide open. "... motherfucker," she breathes.Boss Bawss glances over, somehow catching that curse over the crowd. "Wot's up?""I've SEEN that damn lightning-in-a-bottle routine before," Celicia snarls. "You have, too. But the only reason he would DO that-"She's interrupted by a panicked clattering- a Scaratone guard from above ground, running as fast as he physically can for his queen. "Y-Your Majesty! It's horrible! It's... it's... it's arrived!! Above ground!!" he all but shrills, his usual green coloring ten times paler."What is? What are you talking about?" Queen Kilkkarak shoots back.(Cont.)
>>24543096A minute later, once they all scramble above ground:"... oh. That," Queen Kilkkarak deadpans, tilting her head as far back as she can.'That', in this case, is Ogir Place, standing right outside (and slightly looming above) Scaratone Hive. The ogres' oasis golem-slash- home base is as strange a sight as it always is, with blocky, rock-hewn legs and arms seeming to grow out of a naturally-occurring island. Ogir Place is equipped with a sandstorm drill and a magma shield, both seeming to defy physics just by existing, and to top it all off, a large elven tree grows on a hill set near the highest point of the oasis's rock formation, like some sort of green leafy hat.... what's unusual is the fact that Ogir Place's coloration has shifted to a uniform yellow, the exact same tone as the Formichroma's Prophet.The Yellow Ant's voice, amplified by some unknown means, booms out from Ogir Place. "You know, I WAS planning to just assume direct control of Coreweaver as my trump card. Strike the fear of spiders into the Scaratone people if and when the going got rough." The titanic oasis golem rotates its shoulders, as naturally as the Yellow Ant had tested out his own reattached limb. "That was made a little harder once the brute-warrior leader of the ogres took Coreweaver from me, mind you. Of course, I didn't realize that there was such a suitable vessel this close to Scaratone Hive, a strange kindred spirit to the demon Coreweaver..."(Cont.)
>>24543096Oh shit, Kaiju fight. Yeeeeeessssshhhhh.
>>24543117"Motherfucker!" Celicia shrieks, caught between rage, fear, and annoyance. "/Demon/ possession! How the hell is that shit even possible-" She bites clean through her unlit cigarette as another thought occurs to her. "No, wait, even if it was, it shouldn't WORK like that! Why does possessing Cuddles lead to- to THIS!?" she rants, waving an arm in Ogir Place's general direction.The Formichroma Prophet- and the possessed Ogir Place- tilts its featureless 'face' downward, briefly covering those below in shadow as it 'looks' at Boss Bawss Fistboss. "Shall we continue our duel?" the Yellow Ant rumbles smugly. "Or shall our negotiations for peace include certain parcels of land...?"Boss Bawss Fistboss narrows his eyes.[ ] [DUEL1] Who said this duel was over? TIME TO KRUMP OGIR PLACE.[ ] [DUEL2] ... grab a few things, THEN krump Ogir Place. If the Yellow Ant can use a 'weapon', so can we![ ] [GIVE UP] ... okay, guess it's time to do negotiations again.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>24543118Oh, never mind. Didn't see the next post yet.
>>24543126[WRITE-IN] Use the phone. Call Gubbins. Call our Earth diety.KAIJUUUUU FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTT!!!!!!
>>24543126[X] [GEOMANCE] We all geomancers now, and this is *our* place.
>>24543126>>24543147Blorp.Do we still have Ogir Fist somewhere close by?Can we.....can we assimilate it????
>>24543126[ ] [DUEL1] Who said this duel was over? TIME TO KRUMP OGIR PLACE.
>>24543126>Write-InCall on Gubbins and the Ogres, and have all of us combine our natural magic to summon CAPTAIN KRUMPIN'!
>>24543126>Using a giant golem to fight Boss Bawss>A giant golem made of EARTH>Ogres are very good at EARTHCall Gubbins, its time we went full megazord.
Rolled 32>>24543126He's the anti-spiral to our spiral power. BELIEVE BAWSS. BELIEVE IN THE ONES THAT BELIEVE IN YOU.HE IS THE DRILL THAT SHALL PIERCE THE HEAVENS.
>>24543126>>24543147>>24543150>>24543164>>24543177>>24543178>>24543185I'm moist, you guys.
>>24543147>>24543178>>24543185This, with some help from>>24543150this.
>>24543126Shit just got real.It is time for Ruoumoko to get summoned. Then Bawss shall stand atop his head and duel Ogir Place properly. But even though he duels the Prophet 1v1 he is now alone, Bawss carries the hopes and dreams of every Ogre, Elf, Patchwing, Skeleton, Dwarf, and Scaratone on his shoulders, and with such a weight he can not fail.
>>24543164Technically, no.BUT WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
Good god I regret advocating duel. So warlike of me.therefore, in the sake of peace[HUG OGIR PLACE]
>>24543147This. This so hard.
>>24543227>friendship>not the power of stupid ogre luckBlorp, you're slipping.
>>24543126WRITE IN:Send a beast rider into Ogir Place to retrieve.. the map.We'll use it to draw a *massive* sealing hat notop of Ogir Plase.
Rolled 75>>24543229Ogir Place is getting all uppity. It needs a good krumpin'. Not huggin'.Say, if having a hat placed on Cuddles works, why can't we just use the map to create a hat for Ogir Place?
>>24543227Shit.We gotta get everyone in on piloting this thing.EVERYONE.ESPECIALLY CECILIA.
>>24543257>implying column B doesn't lead to more of column A and vice versa
[ ] [DUEL1] Who said this duel was over? TIME TO KRUMP OGIR PLACE.
>>24543147HE'S USING A GIANT EARTH GOLEM.AGAINST A RACE OF GEOMANCERS.SAID GOLEM IS THE GEOMANCERS HOME. OH BOYITS TIME
>>24543147WE MUST MANLY COMBINE HIM WITH THE OGRETEK ARMOR
>>24543126It's time to go full Geomancer on him. Geomance it into not moving and put another hat on top of it, that's right, we're putting a hat on top of Daphnaia, the tree hat.
>>24543178Captain Krumpin', he's our hero,Gonna take our enemies down to zero.He's our powers magnified,And he's fighting on the Ogre side!We're the Ogres,You can be one too!'Cause krumpin' and diplomacy is the thing we do.Hats and Ogir Place to show the way,Hear what Captain Krumpin' has to say!
>>24543285I.I never thought we'd GATTAI without Ogir Place.
>>24543274I just remembered, we should probably get a better hat for Cuddles.One that prevents possessionand monologues
>>24543267Yeah. Time for Voltron/Power Rangers/Captain Planet mode. Call the forces of Earth, Tree, Bone, Flight, and Ogretek.
>>24543285Ca...Can we also combine with Coreweaver?
>>24543322>implying not combining with kawaiiweaver was even a choice
>>24543322https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5lQdNdX7SE#t=3Of course. We shall need a suitable weapon.
Rolled 96>>24543295THIS MUST HAPPEN.>>24543322>mfw
>>24543322The question isn't can we also combine with Coreweaver, the question is can we *not* combine with Coreweaver.The answer is no, we can't not Combine with Coreweaver.
>>24543302>implying this wont end with us forcing Yellow out of Ogir Plase and threatening to hug him with the combined might of everyone GATTAI'd into Ogir Plase if he doesnt sit down and negotiate like a good bug
>>24543353>96Yes. We and the Dice Gods are all united as one in our desire.
>>24543304>and monologuesOh please, his monologues are great.
>>24543126>[X] [KAIJU-ING/COMBINING TIME]welp>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
People please, there's an obvious way to go about this.Just go inside Ogir Place, go to where we keep Cuddles andm ove him out of Ogir Place. That should theoretically unpossess our home thus we don't have to damage it.then we can krump the prophet and maybe beat up cuddles until he dies and leaves behind a demonic core of demonic essense that make hellfire.or something like that.
Rolled 21>>24543417BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED
Rolled 100>>24543426First 3 rolls, right?SUCCESS!
Rolled 44>>24543417CAPTAIN KRUMPIN'!
Rolled 75>>24543417Come on!
Rolled 17>>24543417TIME FOR GATTAI
Rolled 78>>24543417ALL THE DICE
Rolled 1>>24543417NO LUCKY. DIVINITY TIMEWE PULL THE YELLOW ANTS HEAD OFF, AND MAKE OURSELVES KING OF THOSE MEAN BUGS. IF THEY DISAGREE, WE PULL THEIR HEADS OFF AS WELL
>>24543441>>24543442Oh hell yes. More luck for the intervention.
>>24543438>>245434412! 100! By your powers combined, we are: lucky stupid lucky!
Rolled 16>>24543417This can only end in tears
Rolled 62>>24543441Oh god.OGRES!
>>24543425>>24543426>>24543427Hmm, if this isn't Super Lucky enough we might need to pull out the Goddess of Luck.
Did Blorp ever setup a cut off limit for rolls? If so he should put that in the dice rolling rules part of his post for now on. Just saying.
>>24543438>>24543441>>24543453If any of these count, let's make with the team-up krumpin'. Otherwise, intervention time.
>>245434943 rolls for general numerology (doubles, etc), with frequent handwaves of a few more if a 1 or 100 comes up.
>>24543494I'm not actually sure about the 3 dice thing, but Blorp is pretty free with what rolls he uses usually.But it's fine, we succeeded anyway.
Rolled 8>>24543517don't say that, not till Blorp says what gets used.
I remember Blorp saying something about the number of rolls he'd count would have something to do with our population.I'm not sure about the formula, though. 1 roll for every 10?
>>24543516>>24543517So basically what he feels like at the time. Got it.
>>24543438>>24543441>>24543442After a rocky start, the Blorp-bound ogre dice rape train is out of the station and picking up speed!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igJY6uFZK9M
>>24543529That's for how much he counts toward pumping the power of the intervention.
>>24543438>>24543441>>24543453Blorp.It's time.The stars are left.
>>24543550Well then, our intervention is pretty much STRAINING at the sides to contain all this luck.
20, 75, 21... that aint looking so good.I think it's time for some goddess of luck intervention.
>>24543572Yeah, we generally manage to max out the power of the intervention by the time it becomes available again.
>>24543583>>24543527Guys, we've been spoiled by the number of OGRE LUCK rolls we've had.75 is good!
>>24543572We have literally not used the intervention in months.All existence would divide by zero and get pi, i, and 42.
>>24543604I just realized.The bulk of this is driven by Gubbins using Geomancy.He gets +30 to Geomancy.We rolled a 75.I think we've got this.
Normally, I only count the first three rolls (or- well, okay, I USUALLY only count the first three). Still, the ideas you guys are tossing out for KAIJU BATTLE are kind of amazing and horrifying at the same time...So I'll allow the later good rolls to filter through (i.e. Super Combining is actually possible and successful), but I'm also gonna prompt you guys to decide whether to use the intervention or not (which would mean "go all out").USE THE INTERVENTION?[ ] [YES][ ] [NO]
>>24543630(And that's leaving aside the idea that a giant mecha team-up is weaponized Diplomacy.)
>>24543630Oh wow, forgot about Gubbins' BONUS.We're good to go, guys.
>>24543642Whoops, wrong picture, DON'T ROLL AGAIN YOU GUYS
>>24543642Yes. Go all out, we should go full GATTAI on this mofo, powered by FRIENDSHIP!
>>24543642[X] No.We've got this. 75 is successful already, and there are at least two different arguments for why a +30 bonus applies.
>>24543642What about Gubbins' +30 bonus? Was that not counted?
>>24543658Hey Blorp, can we get a Extra sometime to the dwarf leader writing back home about all the shit he's seen out here and the response of the dwarf reading it?
>>24543642Of course it's a yes. Time to see where this wacky ride is going to take us.
>>24543642... FUCK YES.LET'S DO THIS SHIT GUYS!We've been waiting for something like this for a long while. Time to make it count!
>>24543676He's asking us if we want to use the Intervention now or not?But hey, Blorp might have forgotten the +30 bonus Gubbins gives, so maybe we should wait for him to give confirmation on whether or not it counts.
>>24543642ALL OUTX Yes!
>>24543642Yes, what better time than to win a theoretically impossible fight?
>>24543642Oh hell yes! Time to let the luck goddess do her magic!
>>24543658We've already succeeded here. Might as well hang onto the intervention for next time, when we haven't already succeeded.
>>24543699I think its the the Boss doing it, not Gubbins. I say yes by the way
>>24543699I'm not sure. Since it's Bawss calling for OGRE GATTAI!>Daiogre-Oh
>>24543642OH YEAH. LET'S FRIENDSHIP THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
>>24543738So Boss Bawss, master of diplomacy, is calling for a team-up?That works too.
>>24543738How about....THE BIG-O(gre)?
>>24543669>>24543680Yes and yes, respectively.
>>24543642No reasonable, responsible adult could possibly vote no to this.[YES]It may be entirely unnecessary, but that just makes it in-character.
Yes to the intervention because if not now, when?
>>24543742Dunno if that counts, man? He's not really using diplomacy, since they're his boys and they're usually cool with this kind of shit.
>>24543789FUUUUUUUUUCK.>>24543780Blorp. Bawss better get a spontaneously appearing eyepatch on him.
>>24543780Yes it was not counted? And likewise Bawss's
Rolled 80>>24543642Gonna have to vote No on this one
>>24543800Sorry! I mean yes, it's counted, but if you're talking about the 75+30, since it doesn't land on a special number, there's much not higher that can go except for "success."ALSO JESUS CHRIST that's a lot of yes votes! Going to throw out one last post for the night, and the fight will take place in earnest next time...
>>24543642Gonna vote yes because stupid awesome...Also, FUCK YWAH OGRE QUEST!First time participating... I cant tell you how often I read this and was waking up the barracks with how loud I was laughing....
Rolled 91>>24543642I'll say YES, but only because it's probably already hit MAX LUCK, and I'd rather we use the intervention every once in a while.Besides, it's the CLIMAX, we've gotta go all out.
>>24543834Hell yes.The best way to end.With a cliffhanger. That promises so MUCH.
>>24543834Oh, I'd assumed that 75+30=105 would push it from 60-90 Successful to at least 90-98 Stupidly Successful, if not counting as 100+ SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID.
>>24543834So there IS a benefit to using the Intervention over just going with the 75+30?
I vote YESOn a more strategic thought, could /tg/ agree to use Goddess of Luck intervention the second that we get STUPID LUCKY/ LUCKY STUPID? I just want to see blorp's react
>>24543876OH yes. Basically, 100+ is just LUDICROUSLY EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL, which isn't quite as reality bending as cashing in on saved-up stupid luck. I swear, the next quest I run will have less complicated and/or vague roll mechanics>>24543909WHY WOULD YOU EVER
>>24543946>I swear, the next quest I run will have less complicated and/or vague roll mechanicsPlease don't. That's what makes this quest so awesome. We make suggestions, we roll dice, you/we handwave some numerology, and then you pull off writing some proportionally awesome feats of Ogre.
>>24544002It would entirely depend on the tone he wants to convey for the quest, though.For something like Ogre Civ Quest? This system is fun. But for something more serious, he'd have to adjust it for balance.
>>24544026Oh, absolutely. This system fits perfectly for Ogre Civilization Quest, and it would work similarly well (with thematic but not necessarily mechanical changes) for another quest in the same spirit.
>>24544026I'd like to see Blorp run a more serious quest. Perhaps not all the serious, but he's a great writer and a more serious quest would be neat.
>>24543946>WHY WOULD YOU EVERBecause we have no doubt that you'd make it worth doing.
>>24544119I would as well. Side-splitting tone aside, Ogre Civilization Quest obviously had quite a lot of planning, worldbuilding, and character building go into it, along with some highly engaging writing. The result is one of the funniest things I've ever read. I'd also love to see what happens when that goes into a quest defined primarily by drama and adventure.It would be glorious.But enough talk of future questing; we have Ogres to Ogre, and there's krumpin' to be done.
>>24544203I doubt the seriousness would last long, one ogre roll of the tg dice...
>>24544237That's where the good writing and planning comes in. A critical failure on a key roll doesn't mean "you're dead now"; it means "yikes, that didn't work, plot twist".
bump for Ogres
>>24544840We're in autosage man. No point in that. Just sit tight and wait.
>>24543126>[X] [COMBINE FORCES]>[X] [INTERVENTION USED]Rather than respond to the Yellow Ant's verbal jab(s), Boss Bawss Fistboss glances up at the imposing figure cut by tons and tons of rock..."Gimme a sec, willya?"... and turns to the master Geomancer of Ogir Place, ignoring how the shorter ogre seems to be muttering about trying to replicate all the magics involved. "'ey, Gubbins, c'mere for a second."About half a minute passes as the two ogres huddle up and hold a quick and quiet conversation, ignoring the confused glances they receive from just about everyone else, their erstwhile opponent included.And then Gubbins snaps his fingers, channeling a small amount of magic to call a certain someone into being.The surrounding spectators take a step back out of astonishment as a large imposing humanoid made of molten rock swirls into existence out of thin air, the earthen demigod crossing his arms as he appears. "WHO CALLS THE ONE KNOWN AS- oh. You again.""'ey, Ruoumoko." Gubbins beckons the demigod over, inviting him into the huddle. "C'mere for a second."Another half minute passes as the two ogres and one demigod huddle up to continue their conversation, which is punctuated every now and then by incredulous outbursts from Ruoumoko (followed by grumbling reluctant acceptance)."... what on earth are you playing at, brute-warrior?" the Yellow Ant booms out, not sounding worried. In fact, from the tone of his voice, he's oozing confidence. "If you are trying to stall, you are doing a particularly bad job of it. We can all agree that with me on their side, the Formichroma people- oh?"(cont.)
>>24544888The spectators quickly clear a space for Ruoumoko, who is flanked by Boss Bawss Fistboss and Geomancer Gubbins. The summoned demigod adopts a dramatic stance and points an accusatory finger at the Yellow Ant. "Vile subhuman fiend OW OW OW-"Unaffected by the searing heat, Gubbins quickly grabs Ruoumoko by one molten ear and drags him back a few paces to scold him. A few moments later, the three of them retake their places."... misled Formichroma in need of a good 'krumping'!" Ruoumoko booms, subbing in the ogres' politically correct words. "Your reign of terror ends here! In the name of peace and justice, I, ..." the demigod pauses and shudders here "... Captain Krumpin', shall recliam Ogir Place for the ogres!""Oh, by all means, I'd like to see you try. And you're quite welcome to bring along some extra help, for all the good it shall do you," the Yellow Ant adds for Boss Bawss' benefit."Finally! After ten thousand lines of monologue, those were just the words I was waitin' for!" Gubbins cackles, planting his feet into the ground and channeling as much geomantic magic as he can physically hold. "Now! Make my monster GROW!""By your powers combined," Ruoumoko intones. "I am Capt- OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK ARRRGHBLIGH," he screams as the energy all but overloads his physical form- and yet shows no sign of stopping. Fed by geomantic magic, the molten demigod shoots upward as he gains bulk, quickly and easily matching Scaratone Hive's height.Boss Bawss frowns, shading his eyes against the desert sun as he looks up at the suddenly-enlarged Ruoumoko. "... he ain't big enough," the ogre boss rumbles."Probably because what you're trying for isn't physically possible," Celicia grumbles, massaging her forehead.At that, the larger ogre pins her with an intense look. "... waitasec. Didn't you say dat the Yellow Ant's magic possession-y thingy was impossible, too?"Celicia blinks. "Well... yes, but-"(cont.)
>>24544902"Okay then." Boss Bawss cracks his knuckles, grinning impishly. "Then all we gotta do is beat da Formichroma Prophet at bein' physically impossible. Easy peasy."The rifle-wielding elf squints dully at Boss Bawss, trying and failing to get her brain to accept this leap of logic. "... that's double impossible," she eventually grumps, already resigned to the truth of it all. "But still-""Shhh. No buts," Boss Bawss soothes, patting her on the head before turning toward Ruoumoko, pulling his Ogretek Armor out of the shadows like a magician would his handkerchief. "Just ogres."And then Boss Bawss Fistboss hefts the heavy suit of powered(?) armor and hurls it straight up at the giant-sized Ruoumoko, beginning the latest incident in the long illustrious line of Things That Make Time And Space Cry Quietly Into Their Beers.Halfway to the demigod's head, the Ogretek Armor seems to snap open, its component parts unfolding into a great mess of mechanical-looking parts. A veritable storm of metal swirls around the demigod before engulfing his upper body entirely, cutting off a scream ("WHAT THE FU-") before it even has the chance to begin. The Ogretek Armor's trademark face forms where Ruoumoko's own used to be, scaled up to size for no apparent reason."Still not big enough," Boss Bawss muses, ignoring how every non-ogre person around him is staring slack-jawed at the altered demigod. "He needs to be bigger. 'ey, Coreweaver," he adds, pulling out the demon sword. "Mind lettin' him borrow you for a momen-"The words are barely out of Boss Bawss's mouth before the sword flies up on its own accord, emitting a shrill happy noise as it starts spinning in midair- and moments later, a truly titanic Coreweaver the Demon Spider Sword is clutched in the giant Ruoumoko's right hand, also appropriately scaled through no logical means whatsoever.(cont.)
>>24544916Boss Bawss scowls. "STILL not big enough. Hey, Celicia, Daphnaia didn't use any demon fire at all, right?""... huh? Well, no, but-""'ey, Daphnaia-"Moments later, the Felpowder elves' erstwhile base is clutched in Ruoumoko's other hand like some sort of titanic leafy club, miraculously remaining happily free of fire.But it's still not enough. "'ey, skellingtons-"Armored Ruoumoko sprouts a pair of to-scale shoulderpads made up of many, many glowing skeletons linked together, the light from their inner glow constantly shifting."Patchwings!"A flock of vulture-like creatures now circles Ruoumoko's shoulders like a raucously screaming shroud.Boss Bawss nods his approval at the terrifying being that stands eye-to-eye with Ogir Place, Scaratone Hive itself seeming to quaver in the shadow of the two titans. "Not bad. It's still missin' one thing, tho'."Celicia can't help but dread the answer. "... what?"Boss Bawss Fistboss crosses his arms and grins. "Pilots. -- Gubbins, take us up!""Aye-aye, cap'n!" the ogre geomancer crows, stomping his foot and channeling MORE magic before anyone can think to stop him-- and the next thing Celicia knows, she's standing in a room situated inside the head of Armored Ruoumoko, the floors and walls made out of that same metal that comprised the Ogretek Armor. As she stares around in utter confusion, trying to take in and rationalize the events of the past ten minutes, a part of her mind realizes that she's not alone in this cockpit...(Cont.)
>>24544931Boss Bawss Fistboss.Geomancer Gubbins.Guston Lockstock of the Dwarves.Queen Kilkkarak of the Scaratones.Celicia Silverstone of the Felpowder Elves.The larger ogre looks over the assembled group and nods to himself. Yeah. Yeah, this will do. And then he looks up at the viewport, which corresponds with Armored Ruoumoko's eyes, glaring out at Ogir Place and its current possessor- who is frozen stock still.Inside his cockpit, ignoring the stares of his summoned 'co-pilots,' Boss Bawss Fistboss makes a motion. Outside, Armored Ruoumoko hefts its own weapons- one demonic, one nothing more than a makeshift tree club- and shifts to fully face Ogir Place."We're done transformin'," Boss Bawss Fistboss rumbles helpfully.To his credit, the Yellow Ant avoids asking the most obvious questions. "... truly a futile attempt at..." He trails off, trying desperately to craft some sort of monologue to spin this in his favor. "Do you really think you... can stand against..."After a moment, the possessed Ogir Place hefts its sandstorm drill and magma shield, its movements tense and jerky. "... you know what, let's just fucking duel," the Yellow Ant hisses, deadly serious.(To be continued...)
... OKAY, now that it's 4 am, I think it's a pretty good time to call it a night!The next thread will be THIS THURSDAY, the 2nd, at 8 pm EST.As always, thanks for following the quest, guys, and I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if you have any questions or comments, and I should be able to catch 'em here or in the archive!
>>24544953Love you, Blorp.
>>24544993>The next thread will be THIS THURSDAY, the 2nd, at 8 pm EST.>THIS THURSDAYSee you next week then.
>>24544119>>24544203I didn't get a chance to reply to this earlier (along like a trillion other comments across a trillion other subjects), but- thanks, and I'm really glad you guys like my writing!Once Ogre Civ Quest finishes, I... think I know what I'll be doing for my next quest, and it should be more serious and adventure-driven (though I can't promise it'll turn out well). We shall see!
>>24544931When this is over we need to give Daphnia a giant ogre hug in appreciation for fighting for us.
>>24544993GO GO POWER OGRES!
>>24545090I have a question, what caused our geomancy to jump from I to x?
>>24544993Theme music for the upcoming fight: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWKQiZVBtu4
>>24545303We kept getting great rolls on Geomancy, so Gubbins kinda just leveled up from the experience.Pretty much the same reason why Bawss got his Diplomacy bonus.
>>24545324>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWKQiZVBtu4>>24545435>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Wt6XlVob_EShut up both of you.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QTjmc9RGs8
>>24547112I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but I never would have thought I'd hear a mash-up between the power-rangers theme and the Space Jam theme. Especially one as well-done as that.
I just belatedly realized that we may have beaten the dwarves at a CHEEVO [engage in Kaiju battle].