>>24462783
Scott's got Statler and Waldorf nearby, right?

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Rolled 74, 1 = 75

>>24462783
Yellowman was dreaming. He was back at that fancy White Mountain hotel again. There was no race, only that sweet, sweet suite, the fancy buffet, the bright lights of the casino... There was no fatigue, pain, or anxiety eating away at his strained mind, there was only a crystal clear pool, a hot tub filled with scantily clad ladies, a big screen TV, an all expenses paid waiver...

He was content. He was at peace. He was...

"COMMANDER YELLOWMAN, YOU ARE ON FIRE!!!"

He was on fire.

Wait.

"NOT AGAAAAAAAIN!" Yellowman shouts as he bolts awake, the burning pain of burning pants sending him into full awareness swiftly. Fat-Fot-Pot is at the veteran's scout side, futilely slapping his face with spindly appendages and leaves in what had until that moment been a futile attempt to wake him.

"How can you sleep so deeply?!" Fat cries. "We've been trying everything for the last hour to wake you!"

"You're on fire! EVERYTHING is on fire!" Pot shouts.

It was true.

As Yellowman screamed, swore, and tried to extinguish the blaze taking root on his pants, the forest around the trio is orange and red with flames. Charlie, apparently only having finally woken a few minutes earlier himself, is muttering a nonstop stream of profanity as he hastily loads the donkey with what gear you have. The beast itself brays and bucks with fear as the forest around it burns.

Rolling up from the ground, the fire on his pants finally put out, Yellowman looks from side to side with wide eyes.

"WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS STANDING AROUND FOR?!" he screeches. "RUN!!!!"

>>24462954
Order FFP into the sky to see which part of the forest is the least on fire, try to navigate a passage.

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Rolled 12

>>24463012
"Wait! Fat-Fot-Pot! Fly up past the treeline and see where the least fire is!" Yellowman barks.

"But the branches are all flamey and bu-"

"WE'RE GOING TO BE ALL FLAMEY AND BURNY IN A SECOND IF YOU DON'T TELL US WHERE TO GO!!!"

"O-Okay! Uh, one second!"

The three aliens jolt upwards on their hoverdiscs, heedless of the danger of the burning foliage.

>>24463119
...So we have any rerolls they can use?

>>24463134
You can burn a Dumb Luck at any time. Do you wish to?

>>24463167
We might need to save them for the castle, though.

>>24463119

Burn it, no point in losing FFP.

Rolled 27

>>24463311
The Fates are challenged!

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Rolled 79

>>24463332
Not more than a minute after being sent up into the burning treetops, a small shrieking is heard as three discs and their occupants crash down towards the Earth. Yellowman gives a shout of alarm and rushes to catch first Fat, then Fot, and finally Pot as he leaps back and painfully lands on his back to do so. The three blackened aliens groan and moan piteously as Fat raises a single leafy appendage.

"...Thataway," he mutters.

>Fat-Fot-Pot lose a Wound. Fot is incapacitated until healed.

"You heard the tiny plant thingie, MOVE"! Yellowman shouts as he starts to bolt in the direction indicated. Charlie can't even manage a reply before he loses control over the donkey and it bolts into the woods alongside Yellowman, Charlie dragged along for the ride. Behind the group, the blaze grows hotter and hotter, the forest fire increasing in intensity.

>76
Luckily Yellowman's leg muscles keep up the pace and manage to keep ahead of the worst of the blaze, while Charlie manages to claw his way onto the donkey's back as they all flee to safety. As the beast and burnt scout race through the woods, branches and burning debris fall everywhere, a fiery rain that might be eerily beautiful if it wasn't for the imminent threat of painful death or the sheer amount of adrenaline slamming through Yellowman's system.

>1

This momentary reflection costs Yellowman dearly as a large flaming branch clocks him directly on the head, catching in his armor and bathing his noggin in fire. Yellowman utters a screech generally reserved for dying rabbits and other small game, and though his speed is doubled by the pain, his frantic attempts to tear the branch off only increase how caught it gets. After a while, Yellowman is finally able to rip the burning part off and cast it away, but painful burns cover his scalp, and the scent of burning hair fills his nostrils.

>Lose 1 Wound.

>>24463542
Continue retreating and not dying?

>>24463542
Goddammit. Continue going in the direction. Hopefully we find the river that's supposed to be around here.

>>24463542
>79
Scott Yellowman's panic, pain, and training all combine to produce in him a ridiculous amount of stamina for the race through the burning woods. His pace doesn't flag, his body doesn't tire, with the threat of a fiery death behind him, he crashes through the underbrush like a man possessed.

"Where'd this fire come from?!" Charlie demands, clutching onto the donkey's back for dear life.

"Was it that fake campfire we built?! I knew we shouldn't surrounded it with more rocks..." Yellowman curses.

"Fire... epicenter..." Fat murmurs weakly. "In that field... The one you lost your lighter in."

"What? That's ridiculous! How co-" Yellowman stops as terrible comprehension dawns on him, his face twisting into a sort of grimace that mixed pain and chagrin in equal measure.

Then the card in his pocket begins to pulse, indicating another Racer is nearby.

>>24462783
Hey, Yellowquest is back.

>>24463542
Can't FFP use healing juice to heal itself?

>>24463623
Can Scott get a sense of which direction the other Racer is in?

I'm torn between finding them, and avoiding them.

>>24463662
He can, when he has a moment.

>>24463712
He can only get a sense that they're very near and closing. Maintaining current course will bring you two into contact, diverting may keep you apart.

>>24463712
Probably a good idea to wait until we reach a non-on-fire area.

>>24463727
I suppose we can do that then.

Did our x/encounter stuff recharge from the rest, or was it too interrupted to matter? If Charlie's 1/encounter reroll was up again we should've used it.
How wounded is Charlie, anyway?

Gotta remember that 3/day stun, 2/day heal, 1/day poison spore, 1/day reroll, and 2/day big red button.

>>24463744
I'd say Encounter them. The last few runners we've met haven't been particularily hostile. With luck it'll be Excel and Hyatt and we can say "SHIT DAMN IT I LEFT THE RING I WAS GOING TO GIVE TO MY ONE TRUE LOVE IN THE FIRE WHEN IT STARTED BURNING. IT WAS REALLY SHINY AND VALUABLE AND SHIT AND I DROPPED IT FUCK" and keep on running.

>>24463712
>>24463744

They may also be attempting to escape the inferno. In any case, it would seem that getting out of the forest fire is essential to Yellowman & Co.'s continued survival; if the racers are reasonable folk, we may be able to part without a brawl occurring.

>>24463744
I find it very unlikely that they can be worse than a raging inferno.

Maintain current course.

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>>24463821
>You encounter the other racers!
>d100: 1

Rolled 88

>>24463795
Everything's recharged.

>>24463795
>>24463808
>>24463821
"Heads up everyone, we've got company coming in, and I dunno if they're going to be nice or not!" Yellowman shouts.

"What are y- Aw goddamn, my card's doing that mojo with the pulsing. Fan-freakin'-tastic," Charlie mutters.

>>24464000
>22464000
>000
>88
CHECK MY POWER.

>>24464000
Woo! Doubles! That means we get a Charlie Bonus!

>>24464000
As Yellowman races through the woods and Charlie rides the donkey alongside, a pair of ragged figures start to become visible through the brush, and soon a pair of men burst into plain view. One is a thin man in a button up shirt and glasses. A slim datapad is clutched in one hand as he struggles to keep up with his companion, a larger man with a fair amount of musculature on him. A cigar is clenched fiercely between clamped teeth as he runs. He slowly turns his head while running, giving Yellowman a once over.

"This is all your fault, isn't it?" he asks, still racing.

"Uh... Maybe?" Yellowman admits, trying to keep one eye on the ground ahead and one on the newcomer.

"Good enough for me. Hardy!" the man bellows. The twiggy man following immediately jerks to attention, an impressive feat while running full tilt.

"Y-Yes, Mr. Conti?"

"Put a hole in this man's face."

"He already has sever-"

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN GODDAMN IT!"

"Er- y-yessir!"

With that, the twiggy man pulls a huge pistol from a pocket, the weapon almost comically large for his slight frame.

"Are you goddamn serious?" Yellowman exclaims, narrowing dodging both a tree and the gun's blast as a small birch behind the scout gets a huge hole blown through it.

"It's that stinkin' crime boss and his lackey!" Charlie shouts. "I told you about them, didn't I?"

"It's that bouncer!" the larger man laughs as he spies Charlie. "Hello Chuck, how's life treating you?"

"Up yours, you greasy rat!" Charlie shouts, shaking a fist at him at the risk of falling off the rapidly moving donkey.

>>24464211

Oh great, it's Baccano people.

I'm not an expert on this.

>>24464211
...Seriously? Talk about bad priorities.

>>24464211
While I want that dataslate, it's not worth it.

If you think you'll have trouble hitting a moving target, shoot at the ground in front of them?

If they lose their balance there's a good chance they won't get back up.

>>24464211

Well, they fired first, and it seems that Charlie has had a bad run-in with them before. We could attempt to injure/shoot the big guy and make him fall, which would probably force the little guy to see if Mr. Conti is alright. If we're lucky, he'll drop the dataslate and we can see if we can pick it up afterwards.

>>24464329
Put some boolet into them, keep moving.
Yes, you'll take a massive to-hit penalty. But Yellowman gets +20 to actions done while moving.
IIRC The Spore-shooter is the unconscious one so none of that then.
Just Waldorf and Shotgun fire wildly at the people as the fire runs past them.

>>24464329
Hookshot -> Dataslate.
Problem? 30 or less, we drag ourselves between the two dudes.
... Actually let's not do this because risky.

File: 1366941505657.gif-(2.4 MB, 252x126, Superelitedudes.gif)

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Rolled 26, 25, 37, 36 = 124

>>24464365
Pot is the Spore Shooter, he's fine. Fot, the spidery one, is KO'd right now.

>>24464329
>>24464263
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR PRIORITIES, WE ARE SURROUNDED BY FIRE!!!" Yellowman shouts as he fumbles for Waldorf, produces the pistol and snaps a shot off.

"Haven't you ever heard of multitasking?" Conti shoots back, fishing a slim pistol from a shoulder holster under his suit-coat. "You talk like a man that's never had to run and gun!"

"Fuck you, I'm KING of running and gunning!"

"King? Ha! More like an ace of spades!" Conti yells back, firing again.

"Worry about your own hand, you fink! I call! Put your cards on the table!" Charlie shouts, finally managing to pull Gertrude out and fire while being jostled all around by the panicking donkey, whose mood is NOT improved by the gunfire all around it.

"Will you idiots quit making card-related metaphors?!" Yellowman bellows, firing again.

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>>24464518
SUCCESS

>Achievement unlocked: Rolled below 125 on 4d100.

>>24464518
In a scene strangely reminiscent of the first world they'd gone to, the combatants shoot and shoot and hit nothing. Buckshot rakes the side of a hill, Hardy's handcannon reduces a bush to splinters, and the few happy trees that managed to escape being set on fire get hit by Waldorf shots, incinerating large chunks of them.

"My grandma shoots better than you and she's been dead for ten years!" Charlie shouts as he fires.

"Given you shoot like a whore, it's clear you learned your gun skills from her!" Conti jeers.

"MY GRANDMOTHER WAS A SAINT!" Charlie roars as the branches just over his head explode from the force of Hardy's gun.

"I can't see anything, the ash has my glasses all smudged up!" Hardy complains.

"Just keep shooting!" Yellowman shouts to Charlie. "We're bound to hit something sooner or later!"

>>24464646

GODDAMNIT SCOUT COMMANDER YOU DID NOT LEARN TO SHOOT AT EITHER THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPER SCHOOL NOR COBRA COMBAT COMMAND SO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND REMEMBER YOUR PRINCIPLES OF MARKSMANSHIP.

>>24464646
PROTIP: THE SIGHTS ARE ON THE TOP FOR A REASON.
Use ACCURACY.

Actually, since our own rolls just miss if we roll low ... can I use Charlie's Big Red Button effects on our own accuracy? It'll increase our chances of critical hit, which is really good, but when critical miss is just "you miss".

>>24464646
Look, Scott, if you can't hit them directly, then shoot their cover.

>>24464646
Eh, lets see where this is going.

>>24464646
Toss a rock, yell "GRENADE", and run in the other direction to get rid of them.

I just got here. I'm incredibly surprised that it was not my incredibly stupid false fire idea that started this.

>>24464742

That might be crazy enough to work. Hell, even just a random piece of futuristic-looking debris might do the trick. Although there is the thing about running deeper into the burning forest.

Rolled 3, 99, 73, 84, 59 = 318

>>24464685
Charlie uses Games of Chance while firing...

>>24464742
Scott snaps off a final shot with Waldorf, then grabs a rock and shouts "GRENADE!" at the top of his lungs, while tossing it at them.

>>24464788
Point. Maybe rush them when they break cover?

>>24464814
Shoot them when they break cover. If the bluff works, they'll be more worried about getting away from the grenade that we'll be able to shoot them.

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>>24464810
Charlie fires a single blast from Getrude that strikes Conti right in the shoulder and rips his left arm off in a bloody spray of gore. The crime boss gapes at the stump for a moment, then looks back to Yellowman.

"MY AAAAAAAARM!" he shouts.

"GRENADE!" Yellowman replies. The stone sails in a clean arc, then clonks Conti on the noggin, causing him to stumble stagger, and fall.

"Mr. Conti!" Hardy shrieks, immediately stopping pursuit to tend to his fallen boss. Yellowman and the donkey continuing to race, the two criminals vanish into the fire in no time at all.

"Did you really think a rock grenade was going to work?" Charlie asks as the donkey finally begins to slow.

"Shut up, it worked! ...sorta," Yellowman says, slowing down himself.

Finally ahead of the blaze by a good margin, the black smoke roiling overhead and the dim glow of the fire they left behind are the only indications it exists. Yellowman stops and breathes heavily.

"Well... that... sucked," he pants. "How about a five minute break?"

The donkey gives an exhausted bray and slumps down, Charlie sliding off his back like a rag.

"Some dames always yammered on about how charming horseback riding is," he grouses. "If it's anything like riding that donkey, them chicks are a few eggs short of a full basket."

"Yeah... yeah..." Yellowman wheezes. "What's that sound?"

The trickle of lightly running water is audible in the air, even above the distant roar of the forest fire.

>>24465105
Go towards the water, it'll do you good.
But watch out in case there are naiades.

>>24465105
FFP Heal self, also heal Yellowman because why not, you have the spare wound-healing.
Unless Charlie is more wounded than us, at which point heal Charlie.

Follow the railroad to the water, after making sure our guns still work, haven't been jostled around, gotten dirty, need repair, need cleaning, making sure our gear isn't damaged and whatnot.

>>24465105
>>24465120

Should we have Fat-Fot-Pot use the healing juice to restore themselves?

>>24465127
>>24465130
After a quick gear check, they confirm that everything is in working order, if a bit blackened or singed.

Fat-Fot-Pot uses his healing juice as Yellowman trudges over to the water, confirming that there is a small river nearby. There are no sign of naiads though.

>>24465196
We gotta follow this downstream. It'll lead us to the road.

>>24465196
If you need water, now's the time to get some. Then follow the river to the next leg of our journey.

>>24465282
We should probably have a healthy ration and/or bear steak breakfast while we're here.

Rolled 71

>>24465215
After a few minutes of rest, Yellowman leads the others down the river, away from the blaze. Compared to the frantic action of earlier, walking beside a flowing river is a nice change of pace.

>>24465315
IT'S A FLAT CROCODILE.
>they're always flat
SHUT UP.

>>24465298
"All right, time for a break. Break out the bear steaks, Charlie. I'll start a fire..." Yellowman begins to say.

"NO!" Charlie and Fat-Fot-Pot shout in unison.

"Uh, I mean, hey, doc. Starting a fire's hard work. Why don't I do that, and you go ahead and fish out the grub?" Charlie offers, moving to the donkey.

"Just because I lost my lighter doesn't mean I c-" Yellowman begins, but falls silent as the others glare at him.

"Okay, okay!" he says, throwing up his hands. "Fine, sheesh."

A few minutes later, Charlie is turning the steaks over a makeshift spit to get them hot while Yellowman refills the group's canteens at the river. Fat flies up on his hoverdisc to perch on top of a tree and sighs contentedly as he spreads his leaves out to catch the sun.

"Fire's burning itself out. I can see the edge of it from here," he comments from his perch. "Can't believe we got out of that alive. I thought for sure I was kindling."

>>24465412
You think Fatass and Labcoat burned up?

Well, we'd better get moving. Check that the Donkey hasn't managed to stress itself to death.
I don't know about Donkeys, but I know Horses will do that really easily.

>>24465412
It's morning already?

Aside from the running you did, feel up to continuing the journey?

>>24465412

Hey Fat, can you see anything else from up there? Like any nearby structures or landmarks?

Rolled 12

>>24465564
"Yeah. To both questions,"Yellowman mentally responds. "Just need to take a breather, get some grub, take a piss. Then I'm good to go."

>>24465455
"Here's hoping. But knowing my luck? A kindly old fire elemental saved them."

The Donkey looks surly and put upon. But healthy otherwise.

>>24465578
"Hang on, I'll call Fot up."

>>24465614
"The leaves are really pretty! Look at all that lush foliage!"

>>24465614
>>24465621
...

Scott, see if the FFP can get something Metal up one of the trees, Grapple up to it, and see for yourself.
FFP can't spot for shit.

>>24465621
Not really helping here, FFP.
Scott, you'd better get up there yourself to check. Use your grapple.

>>24465697
Maybe we should Games of Chance on the next spot roll we do?
Not this one because a "1" means "Scott falls from the tree and dies", but in future, a failure on a spot check isn't really a big deal, but a crit success might tell us a lot.

>>24465722
I dunno.
Instead of nothing happening, we might see bad stuff coming at us with no way to avoid it if we critfail.

>>24465819
So critfailing a spot check actually summons bad stuff?
D= That scares me

Rolled 60

>>24465722
>>24465697
FFP can't lug something up, but Scott's limber enough to climb up the tree on his own.

>>24465845
"I see trees, mainly. The river flows on for a bit... Looks like we're still a bit from the forest edge, but I can see it from here. Right in front of the mountains he talked about. I hate mountains. Uh... Oh. It'll take us off path if we follow it all the way, but there's a road that loops along our path for a short way past the river. If we leave it right at the first crossroad we can take it while maintaining course."

>>24465883
Looks like we've found a shortcut.
Everyone fed and breakfasted? Let's roll. ogogo.

>>24465883
Alright, take the shortcut.

>>24465900
Everyone eats up as fast as they can, a few bathroom breaks are taken, and everyone hits the road once more.
>Lost last Buffet Ration.
>Lost Bear Steak.

An hour later, Charlie frowns and holds up a hand.

"Hang on," he says. "Hear that?"

"What?" Yellowman asks, stopping as well.

A faint sound floats through the air, sounding for all the world like the cries of infants.

>>24466035
Need an Oglaf lore check here.
I'm thinking it's something we need to either ignore or shoot.
Is the card pulsing?

Can we sort of Stealth innawoods a bit and go around these guys? If Stealth is an option, I'd say take it.

>>24466035
>the cries of infants.
Shapeshifting monster. Ignore it.

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>>24466035

It's a monster attempting to be clever. Unless you sense racers nearby the place, it's best to move on.

>>24466056
>>24466055
"It's a shapeshifting monster," Yellowman says. "What the hell would babies be doing in a cursed forest?"

"Are you sure?" Charlie asks, frowning. "What if we're wrong and we just signed some poor kiddo's death warrant?"

>>24466117
Well, there is the chance that another Racer didn't realize it was a trap, and they got nommed.

How about a compromise. Fot goes and takes a look, and depending on if its a pile of 300 babies, and if there's the body of another Racer around, we either go and blast the monster, or we simply ignore it and move on.

>>24466117
Dude.
This is a horrible rape and "comedy" world.
It's not a baby. It's a shapeshifting monster. Most likely shapeshifted into a pile of 300 babies.

The most we could do is tell it the weaknesses of the racers that are about to come before us in the hope that the monster will take advantage of it and kill them for us.

>>24466117
Eh, as long as it's not a giant baby or a pile of babies, in which case it's obvious enough to assuage Charlie's fears, it'd probably be weak enough to not be much of a thread.

>>24466146
Compromise sounds good. Just keep an eye out for other shit that wants to violate our honor.

Rolled 73

>>24466156
>>24466155
>>24466146
"Tell you what. We'll send Fot out to scout. If it's a giant baby or a pile of three hundred babies, it's pretty obviously a monster or a trap and off we go. If not, we'll see what we can do. OK?"

"Sounds fair to me," Charlie nods. "Send out the little scurrier then."

Fot hops off his disc and vanishes into the underbrush a second later.

>>24466194
The spider returns a few minutes later and hops back on his disc, hovering up to rejoin his two other selves. Fat speaks up a moment later.

"Yep. Three hundred babies. Exactly," he says.

"Well fuck that then," Yellowman says, turning. "Let's get going Charlie."

"See, was that so hard? Just a second to check and make sure," Charlie says, shrugging.

"Didn't know you cared," Yellowman comments.

"I have a soft spot for the little tykes. So long as I don't gotta change nothing," Charlie says. The two men, their donkey, and their alien companions then continue on down the riverside.

It's around noon when two things happen simultaneously. Yellowman's card begins to pulse, and the sound of someone crying strikes his ears.

>>24466273
Go stealthy. Sneak up on them, weapons drawn, get an ID of who they are.

>>24466273
Same as before. Look around, have Fot check around while Fop and Pot fly up and check the area from a sky view.

File: 1366949855073.png-(139 KB, 600x590, Sneaky_Solid_Snake_by_hya(...).png)

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Rolled 25, 11, 84 = 120

>>24466287
>>24466297
"Stay here, Charlie. Me and Fot are going to have a look ahead," Yellowman says, beginning to creep ahead while Fot hops off his disc again.

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>>24466352
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P5qbcRAXVk

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>>24466352
>25, 11
This is gonna suck.

>>24466352
Scott creeps up through the trees until a large stone fountain at the center of a section of ground tiled with cobblestone comes into view. A gorgeous blonde woman in a white bikini sits by the fountain, her face in her hands, sobbing. Taking another step forward, the woman suddenly lets out a terrified scream as Fot scurries a little too close. She immediately grabs a nearby branch and smacks the insectoid with it, sending the arachnid flying. At the same time the loud scream causes Yellowman to start, slipping as his foot encounters the border of the cobblestone area and finds a large puddle. Arms flailing, he pitches forward and tumbles head over foot until he lands prone in front of the woman.

"Uh... hello?" he ventures.

>>24466435
Maybe the 11 is their perception check...

>>24466445
Fountain of Girl. We can't do anything for him.

>>24466445
Fountain of Girl.
Drinking it causes people to become Girl.
I'd say:
Bottle a bunch of the water, since it will no doubt be VERY useful later. Do we have any bottles or water containers on us?

Also, say "Sup dude. You in on the race? You know there's shit that can undo this, right?"

>>24466445
Fountain of Girl, Scott. Don't drink it unless you want to look like that, and we won't be able to resleave you into a new body until you're back at HQ.

>>24466490
This is asking for trouble...

>>24466445

Check your card, Yellowman. Is that woman one of the racers?

In either case, he or she probably drank from the fountain, which causes anything that quaffs its waters to become a shapely blonde woman in a white bikini. Even donkeys, unfortunate conquistadors, and perhaps even dragons or other beings.

>>24466508
Well, I know in D&D you can undo these with Dispel Magic, so we might get her (his?) temporary support with that.

And if you're talking about not bottling the girl water, then ... well, there's bound to be a use for polymorph water sometimes. It can change dangerous animals that might attack us - e.g. dragons or tigers or shit - into girls, that aren't as dangerous.

>>24466515
Ah shit the donkey. Fuck, someone restrain our donkey. Wait we can't, it's Canon that the Donkey drinks here. Damn it.

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>>24466445
This is such a fucked up world.

>>24466531
Not our donkey, I don't think.

>>24466531
Not our donkey, so as long as we keep it away with Charlie, it's fine.

>>24466490
Yellowman DOES have a spare canteen. It's currently full of purified river water.

"You're a racer, right?" Yellowman asks, quickly standing up. "Me too."

"Pfah," the woman says, waving a hand. "You're welcome to it. Maybe you'll have better luck than I did. Look at this. LOOK AT THIS!"

The woman pinches her arm. "This used to be rock-hard muscle and reflex wiring, not it's all soft and noodly. My training... my cyberware... my gear... my..." the woman pauses and looks down at herself. "Well... let's leave it at that."

"You know there's stuff that can reverse this," Yellowman says, pointing at the fountain.

"Do you have it with you?" the woman asks.

"Well... No..." Yellowman winces.

"Then that does me a lot of good, doesn't it?" the woman sniffles.

>>24466591
Ask... her? What his name is.
And what... that person plans to do now?
Because they must have realized that this is not a safe world to be while looking like they do now.

>>24466591
>reflex wiring
>cyberware
A Street Samurai from Seattle?
May as well ask if he's a shadowrunner, Scott.
The former guy is welcome to come along until there's a better world to either settle down in, or we get to a world that has the tech or magic to reverse this.

Because in all honesty, this world is not one that you want to stay in.

And yeah, polymorph water might be useful in the future. You never know.

>>24466591
Dude. Come with us. I have a bit of knowledge of the worlds we visit. If there's something in a world that can fix this, I'll let you know.
You heard of witches that turn you into toads or shit? Well, you can undo that with magic. It'll probably work on being turned into a girl.
In return: you DON'T try to kill us, and instead try to kill the stuff that tries to kill us.

Rock hard muscle and reflex wiring, training, cyberware, gear. Well, you might as well tell us your name. I'm Scott.

>>24466591
He's either a Street Samurai or a Solo. Also, inform him that there may be a Fountain of Cock in this world, but this is a world of abundant rape no matter what gender you are. Dispel Magic/Remove Curse might also work, but we'd have to end up in a D&D style world first.

>>24466591
Can Yellowman still carry regular drinking water if he swaps the canteen?
Make sure that shit gets Labelled. And sealed. Labelled and sealed. And extra sealed.
Man I feel like a certain Hero of Time in wanting for bottles right now.

>>24466677
>Make sure that shit gets Labelled. And sealed. Labelled and sealed. And extra sealed.

THIS! A MILLION TIMES THIS! If we take some of that water, we DO NOT want to be drinking that shit.

>>24466700
>>24466677
We made sure to pick up some candles; we can melt the wax to seal the canteen so we can't accidentally open it.
Sound good?

>>24466773
Cool.

Oh hey we bought Flasks of Oil didn't we?
We could probably replace one with water here.

>>24466648
"Anyway what's your name? You gotta plan now?" Yellowman asks.

"My plan is to sit here and cry," the woman says, holding her sides. "Until I drank from this fountain I was Six Slash Sam, the baddest Street Samurai in Seattle. Now I'm just a big-titted... blonde... BIMBO!"

With that, a new round of crying overtakes the former warrior.

>>24466654
"Well... My name's Scott. Scott Yellowman. Hey, look, man. Why don't you come with us? I don't have a means of restoring you WITH me, but I know some folks that do."

"You'll just backstab me. Like everyone else in this stupid race," the woman sobs. "If... if it wasn't for that damn decker..."

>>24466677
Yes, he's got 2 canteens currently. One can carry this water, and the other normal water. Labels are also possible.

>>24466663
"Seriously, you should come with us. Race be damned, this world is founded on rape. You don't want to linger her, and ESPECIALLY so looking like you do!" Yellowman exclaims. The woman pauses.

"Well..." she murmurs, pausing.

>>24466790
Indeed you could.

>>24466794

Not to mention once we're done here we know people who can 'ware you up with ridiculous stuff you've never heard of, and pay you well.

We have some runners on staff and beyond your current problem you'd fit right in.

>>24466794
As for backstabbing:
Look, you know you can never count that out, but I've helped Charlie here when he was wounded. I could've killed him there, but I helped him. and HE'S another racer.

Kind? Maybe not always. I want to win too. But there are better ways to win than stabbing everyone in the back. And for now, trying to stick together seems to be our best bet of surviving.

>>24466812
Well, I'd go for that then.
Refill the lamps/whatnot, and we can probably roll with some oil and some of this polymorph water.

Ask 6Slash if he (she?) can still use weapons in his (her?) current form.

>>24466794

>Sam

What did that Decker do?

Anyway, you know that there's a lotta crazy shit that you can get hit with when running in Seattle, even more so if you get mixed up with the wrong types of mages. You know, like getting part of your soul torn from you by succubi? But there's therapy and methods of treatment to remedy that, even if it is a little on the pricey side.

Look, you can stay here and be a sad blonde bimbo if you want. But what we're offering you is a chance to get to people who can help you; or at the very least, a chance to get back to your home so you could possibly see if you can find the right kinds of mages or shamans who could treat this sort of thing. As long as you don't try to screw us over, we won't do the same to you.

>>24466794
Look, you can't win the race in the state you're in, so you're not really a threat to me or Charlie, the other racer I'm traveling with. We've got a better chance of making it to the end alive if we don't try to screw each other over.

May as well stick with us until you either end up on an Earth where you can try to live, or get to a world that can change you back.

And Scott, ask about the Decker.

Rolled 98

>>24466869
How many bottles do you want to fill with the water?

>>24466910
>>24466899
>>24466843
>>24466819
Scott relays your words, the finishes with a question.

"Wait, what about a decker?"

"Just a kid... Some teenage girl..." she murmurs. "Back in that lab, I found an express elevator down. I took it, then that stupid girl's insignia started popping up all over my vision and my cyberware shut down. I couldn't move. She HACKED MY CYBERWARE! I didn't even think that was possible, the protections on them are ridiculously high! By the time whatever she did wore off, I lost my lead to at least four other racers.

>>24467004
Gotta keep at least 1 Oil because Oil is useful for other stuff like cooking or making fire.
But the rest should be polymorph water because it can be used to stop monsters that are trying to eat us, or maybe to sell to people who really want to be girls for whatever reason.

What was the 98 for btw op?

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>>24467004
>98
>Okay.jpg

"You make a lot of sense," the woman nods. "Sure... I'll tag along. I guess it's my only hope."

>>24467037
You still got equipment? Weapons? Can you use 'em?
We got a literal mule if you can't carry all your stuff any more.

>>24467004
>Water of Girl
Fill up 1 Flask of Oil with the Water.
Seal it with wax and make sure it's labelled.

>decker
Wait one fucking second!
This girl, was she blonde-haired and dark-skinned, and were her icons based on turtles?

>>24467004
It's ED! She may be able to contact Spike for us!

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>>24467004
>>24467037

That emblem... was it like a turtle, or more like a smiley face like this?

I'm going to assume that Yellowman can use some dirt or something to draw out the image.

>>24467053
"All my gear got turned into this," she says, snapping her bikini strings.

"...don't do that ever again," Yellowman says.

>>24467063
>Lose 1 Flask of Oil.
>Gain 1 Flask of Girl.

>>24467063
>>24467065

"No, red-orange hair. And an obnoxious smiley face! Yeah! Yeah, like those you're drawing! You know her?"

>>24467099
Someone with more Bebop lore than I can describe the Ed.

Well, we do have the spare .358 from the Cop in JOEworld. And the Grenade Launcher, which Yellow can't really use.
We can give one of those to Sam-antha.

>>24467099

I know who she is, but not in person, my intel is very far reaching.

>>24467099
We know a friend of hers. Whatever else happens, please don't try to hurt her. She might be able to help us find him.

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>>24467099

Not personally, just heard about her. She's some sorta hacker prodigy, and might have a Scottish Pembroke corgi following her around as well.

You think you can still handle a gun, Sam? The fountain might've done away with your muscle memory and such, but aiming firearms might be another matter entirely.

>>24467099
"Yeah. We know about her. World-class decker, she could slice through the ICE of the ZOG in under 5 minutes if she wants to. She could run rings around FastJack and The Smiling Bandit."

>>24467099
Right then. Better check on Fot, and regroup with Charlie.

Ask Sam if he has any other gear lying around here.

>>24467175
>>24467166
>>24467151
>>24467153
Sam whistles. "Guess I should be glad paralyzing me is all she did if she's that good. I can't guarantee I won't smack her once or twice, but I won't go further than that. A .38? Wow, didn't know you dealt in antiques. Yeah, I guess I can fire one of those. Maybe the launcher, but I don't know where I'd put the shells."

>Give .38?
>Give Launcher?

>>24467409
Give .38 then. Because one gun's better than no gun.

"Yeah, we stole this from ... someone who attacked us."

>>24467409
I think we've got a spare cloak if s/he wants a robe. Either that or give her a blanket and a rope as a belt.

>>24467409
The .38. It's more of a personal defense weapon anyway.
And try to find him some clothes, or give him a cloak.

>>24467424
>>24467438
Yellowman hands her his cloak. "Here, cover up. And here's that .38. Try to shoot at things that need shooting."

"Got it," Sam says, taking the gun and the cloak.

>Gained Escort Mission: Get Sam's Body Back!

>>24467509
>Escort mission
D=

Well, through the mountains then. We just follow the road, right?

Rolled 32, 73, 82, 21, 96, 44, 52, 57 = 457

Almost there! Just need to breach this door to the central room!
>describes Impliers

Rolled 3

>>24467539
Man, this breach is going really well! Just a little more.

>>24467509
Better go back to Charlie, let him know what's up.
And then we continue on this shortcut.

>>24467577
>>24467527
Yellowman takes Sam back to Charlie and introductions are made. Charlie, quite eager at first to meet the young lady, is quite distressed to learn she's actually a man.

"Remind me not to drink from any fountains while we're here, eh pal? Sheesh, I know you're not supposed to drink the water in these places, but this is ridiculous!" he comments.

The introduction to Fat-Fot-Pot is a little frostier.

"Fot says you hit him with a stick. A BIG one!" Fat complains.

"He startled me!" Sam counters.

In any event, the rest of the trek through the woods is uneventful. At long last, the group exits the forest, a vast foothills area opening before them in front of a foreboding mountain range. It isn't long before they find the road Yellowman saw and begin to follow it.

After about an hour of following the road, Yellowman sees something in the distance. A small caravan of weary looking commonfolk.

>>24467784
Approach it. This might be one of the few things in Oglaf that DOESN'T instantly kill you.
So how many cards does our group have now?

>>24467784
May as well approach it. I can't recall a caravan being dangerous in Oglaf.

Rolled 100, 77 = 177

Yoink!

This is when we die.

>>24467839
Yellowman just has his and the dead MIB's. Charlie hasn't shown you his, and you don't even know where Sam would keep hers garbed as she is.

You approach the caravan.

"Hail, traveler!" the leader of the caravan calls out. "From where do ye come?"

>>24467910
We hail from lands yonder. May we travel with you for a short time?

>>24467910
From the town back out beyond the Cursed Forest.

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>>24467891
>100
>77, which counts as a 100.

>>24467938
Maybe you should try getting a job.

>>24467919
Ask them were they're going and shit, see if they're going in the same direction first.

>>24467919
>>24467933
"Certainly. Ye must be truly brave to be out travelling in times such as these. There is talk that Kronar, Son of Man has returned, stalking these lands once more," one of the travelers says.

"We hasten to leave before we chance coming upon him," another says. "He's probably in the forest right now!"

"Of course!" another agrees. "Who else would've dared to set fire to the accursed wood and bring down the wrath of the fae?"

"The what?" Yellowman asks after a pause.

"The fae! The foul and fair spirits that dwell in that ancient place," an old crone says. "Kronar in his arrogance may have fired their homes, but we'll see if even his might can withstand their arcane tricks!"

"...huh," Yellowman says. "Well... that... really sucks for him."

>>24468033
Don't feel too bad for him Yellowman, he'd either kill you or try and assfuck you. Maybe both!

>>24468033
Oh. ... k.

Are these guys going the same way as we are? Might as well join up with them for a bit. Ward off bandits and the like.

>>24468033
Yeah. Scott, Kronar is bad fucking news.
Take Conan the Barbarian, mix in a bit of the Terminator, and add a great big helping of 'likes to rape men'.

And yeah, if people can blame this on Kronar, hopefully we'll be out of this world before we get busted.

>>24467967
Stick with the prod.

>>24468057
"Such a lovely mental image you've gifted me with. Thanks."

>>24468072
>>24468069
"Which way do you travel? Perhaps we can travel for a bit," Yellowman suggests.

"South, cutting through the edge of the forest, and to the coast. We hope to be on a ship bound for our home in a fortnight," the leader says. Yellowman winces.

"Well I'm heading north, so so much for that."

"North? Between Kronar and the Mistress you risk much traveling that way. But it's your business," the leader remarks. "Have you any further business or do here we part?"

>>24468153
You got any traders sellin' wares there? A companion of mine got cursed by a fountain nearby and needs clothes.

>>24468153

Aside from the two you mentioned, do you know of any other hazards nearby that we'd do well to avoid? Or possibly even safe havens or towns that we might be able to trade in reasonable safety?

Also, did you happen to see any other travelers heading that way? Could you describe them, if that's not too much trouble?

>>24468169
"Aye. Have a look."

Once again, common goods are for sale from the d20 SRD. However, you may also purchase up to two alchemical items at x1.5 price.

>>24468191
Second asking for description of other travellers or dangers ahead.

Mistress -> That's who's castle we're NOT going to via the fastest route OUT of there ... only we're also going backwards in time.

Kronar -> Conan the assrapist. Keep Sam close to deter him.
Just a question.
Yellowman, you've experienced the taint of a woman, right?
I know Charlie has, and we can just say FFP are all women because who would disagree.
'cause the taint of a woman wards off Kronar.

>>24468210
We already got our sets of stuff, so I suppose just the clothes now.
maybe another Oil flask since we emptied one. Other than those two, probably nothing new.

Alchemical items, eh?
Tanglefoot Bag + Acid.

>>24468210
Might be a good spot to stop for tonight I think, with the Buy options up. What's our current inventory?

>>24468191
"We're travelers ourselves, so there's not much we can tell you. We came across the foothills, there's not much there to fear, save for the occasional bandit. But beware the Swamp of Apathy, it's filled with peril! Everything from cursed fountains to giant worms and bog beasts!"

"Aside from yourselves, we saw one other traveler on our way here. A grim man covered in scars and chains, bearing a giant axe. We... stayed well clear of him."

>>24468217
"I don't see how that's any of your business," Yellowman says.

>>24468261
'Statler': A gauss pistol modified to accept enchanted rounds. Good at penetrating armor, with magic bullets offering additional effects. Twelve round magazine. “It's an old gun that likes to tear into things. Seemed appropriate.”

'Waldorf': A light plasma pistol modified to work with a power-recharger. Deals heavy damage to soft targets and things vulnerable to fire. Forty-shot battery. “Sick burn.” Ammo: 13/40

Scout Combat Suit: An armored jumpsuit that can accept add-ons and modifications. Currently has reactive force-shields installed. Grants extra Wounds. Has Ablative Armor, Adamant Plating (Scott's Scout Armor absorbs a free wound each combat unless the weapon is Armor Piercing.) and Magnetic Grappler upgrades.

Power Recharger: A conversion device capable of hooking into any power outlet with sufficient energy to provide recharging to shields or certain energy weapons.

Gummer-Brand Survival Kit: A top of the line survival kit with most of the supplies you'd need to survive for a period of time in the wilderness. Comes with a supply of MREs. “It tastes like toilet paper.” “That IS the toilet paper.”

Reality Emitter Mk.3
1 RR-1 Plasma Rifle.
1 SULC.
Electronic toolkit (Makeshift)
Narrator's Tome
Fireman Flash Drive
Portal Card: Fool
Portal Card: Tower
Damaged Comm Headset.
Bear Fur.
38 Revolver with 12 rounds.
Flashlight, High Power.
Cobbled Disguise. (Modern)
Golden Tiara
Cloak
Bear Steaks x11

$100

62 gold coins
Backpack
Crowbar
Flint and Steel
Lamp, Common
Mirror 10gp
Oil (2flasks)
1 Flask of Girl
1 Canteen of Girl
Belt pouch
Silk Rope
Torch (4)
Candle(2)
Bob the Donkey

TF2-D Grenade Launcher

Ammunition:
2 Magazines of normal Gauss Ammunition.
1 Magazine of Shocking Gauss Ammunition. ( 7/12 Doubles damage against shielded targets)
50 MFCs
9 TF2-D Grenades

>>24468307
Bah. We'd have to sell something if we want the Tanglefoot bag.
Can get the Acid easy enough though.

>>24468307
Clothes and a replacement Flask of Oil.

>>24468405
>>24468337
Yellowman buys a Flask of Acid, Clothes, and a Flask of Oil for 16 gold coins.

I was going to go on for a bit longer, but it is pretty late, so I guess we can stop here for now. Picking up tomorrow at 8, have additional purchases ready by then if any are to be made.

>>24468501
I'd like to get some thunderstones, but they're too expensive, unless we spend 45gp on one.

bump

bump

Can we check if the trade caravan has any basic weapons like daggers or shortswords?
A knife's better than nothing.

>>24472086
We've already got a bunch of guns and a pair of swords. Considering that Sam is in an untrained body for physical exertion, we don't need another.

>>24468501
Sell them the Bearskin.

No need for hourly bumps. Threads on /tg/ take 6 hours to die don't they?

>>24468307
Plus two swords, right? One for Scott and one for Charlie.

>>24473078
Yes, I can't believe I forgot to add those.

Bump

>>24472784
>Threads on /tg/ take 6 hours to die don't they?
Depends very much on the day.
This ended up on page 8 in only 2 hours, 20 minutes.

>>24468274
How well armed are the bandits, and can you describe the Axe?

>>24477275
Maybe it's Astaroth from Soul Calibur.

>>24478220
Could be that Not-Conan tribe of similar looking dudes from Oglaf.

>>24479028
You mean the skull-wine guy?

>>24479362
No, the all-male tribe who give birth to all-male babies.

>>24479550
Good times.

>>24477275
"Not very. I didn't get a good look at the axe, but it was single-bladed and very large, a greataxe to be sure. The man was strong enough to carry it in one hand, though!"

>>24479870
Okay, and buy 3 pieces of chalk. It's only 3 coppers, and you never know when you might need them.

Then we should be on our way.

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>>24479870
No chains though.

>>24479928
Another three pieces of chalk later, the group is on their way through the foothills. The sun begins to hang low in the sky when they come across a corpse in the middle of the road.

>>24480349
If the Card ain't pulsin', it's not another runner. Send FFP to check it out and see if it's humanoid and properly dead.
It could be a trap, as always.

>>24480349
Hold up. No pulse from the Cards?
Have Fot get a closer look, while Charlie and Sam keep an eye out for an ambush.
It could be the bait in a trap.

>>24480369
>>24480401
Scott'smindmind

>>24480401
>>24480349
Let's keep Waldorf pointed at the body. Finger off trigger, but definitely pointed at.

>>24480369
>>24480401
Fat-Fot-Pot zooms ahead to look around while Scott and Charlie ready themselves for trouble. After a few minutes, FFP gives the all clear and the pair advance to check on the body. It appears to be a man dressed in ragged clothes with a cloth knapsack. A brilliant gold ring is on his finger, but the only other items of note on him are a shovel and some food in the knapsack. A grotesque smile is on his face.

>>24480512
Oh hang on I know this one.
I know the ring's cursed but I dunno exactly what it does.

>>24480512
>>24480538
Ring of Bliss. Don't touch it, try to take it off with a stick.

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>>24480538
Yep. Here it is.
It's a ring that kills you with happiness.
It's still a valuable ring that we can pawn off for money, so put it in a bag that says "CURSED SHIT DO NOT USE" and pawn it off to some random pawnshop in an upcoming world.

>>24480512
The ring is cursed, so stay the fuck away from it. Otherwise, check the other stuff.

>>24480576
>>24480583
Why don't we use the shovel to pry the ring off, then cut up some of the guys clothes to put the ring into the knapsack, taking the food out.

>>24480616
Because he might be alive, and he might give us some advice for saving his life.

>>24480656
>might be alive
>stated multiple times by OP and by the comic that the guy is dead

>>24480668
Missed the "Appears to be a corpse". At least we get a free bag for Charlie. If nothing else, Fot could put the ring on the sorceress' finger.

>>24480583
>>24480586
>>24480616
>>24480576
It takes some finagling, but by using the shovel and some nearby twigs, Scott and Charlie manage to get the ring off, cover it with cloth, and drop it into their bags.

>Gained Ring of Bliss.

Charlie takes the knapsack.
>Gained Trail Rations x2
>Gained Beat Up Knapsack.

>>24480807
Before we leave, put the body in a dignified position. We just took his stuff, no reason to leave him spread eagle or anything.

>>24480807
Let's put that shovel in with our other gear on the donkey, and continue on our way.

>>24480823
I hope those dwarves won't be mad at us for jacking their ring.
Well, let's roll. I'm surprised we haven't encountered other racers yet.

>>24480941

From what Sam said earlier, there were at least four or five racers ahead of them. It might be safe to assume that there might be a sizeable amount of racers that were taken captive by the sorceress-queen, especially those who would rather stand and fight rather than try to sneak on by.

Rolled 82, 60 = 142

>>24480834
>>24480823
You move the corpse to the side of the road and continue on your way, slightly richer in the way of cursed treasures.

>>24480941
If they want it back, we'll just give it to them. Accept no reward and say a good deed is it's own. Also mention that the sorceress has been a bit sad, and that she could probably use the ring.

Rolled 32, 69, 87 = 188

>>24480995
aw crap we're late.
Shit, steal the ones he forgot to roll

>>24480995
The group is almost to the mountains when they encounter a group of armed men strewn about the road, moaning and groaning in pain.

>>24481072
Bandits, probably. Well, we might as well greet them and ask who wrecked their shit.
Also, if they've been beaten, how come nobody took their weapons?

>>24481072
Have Fot take a look around, and Pot and Fat circle in the air.
Have Sam and Charlie keep an eye out. We've got to ask one of these guys what happened.
Should take their weapons before they can get up and try to attack.

I doubt it's Kronar, though; he wouldn't have left any of them alive or not-anally raped.

>>24481099
>>24481106
"Well don't you look like a happy lot," Yellowman comments, advancing.

"Just... just GO!" one of the armed men says, waving his hand. "We don't... We just don't care anymore."

"First that slip of a girl beats the living hell out of our best swordsman... Then that giant half naked freak and his fat friend show up and beat the living hell out of everyone ELSE!" one man moans. "To top it off, our leader tries to seduce the huge man, fails, and gets so pissed off she takes off after him! We're on vacation as of today!"

"Fuck the bandit life, I'm going back to growing tomatoes," another groans. "Maybe I can still get in a harvest before winter if I start tomorrow..."

>>24481304
Ask for details of "slip of a girl".
Half naked freak + Fat friend is Zoongaf and Rufus, professional Fighters of Streets.
Who's the leader here, for anyone with oglaf lore?

Games of Chance + "What, you don't want a chance for revenge? I'm in a deathrace against those guys, so we've got a mutual interest in being rid of them."

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>>24481304

Looks like some other racers passed by here. Dunno who the girl might be, but the other two guys that came along might be Zangief and Rufus. The bandit leader might be Vanka, as displayed in the image here; noted thief of valuable items and generally being slippery.

Ask the beaten bandits about the girl. How did she look like, and did she have any distinguishing clothing or other accessories? Secondly, in what direction were all of those people headed?

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>>24481304
>slip of a girl
Not telling us much, except she's a swordswoman. Wasn't there supposed to be a swordswoman from Phantasy Star Online in the race?
And it sounds like Zangief and E. Honda are still in #2.

Maybe we should take the weapons from these guys; anything we can sell to make some money and get better equipment.

>>24481363
Might be this thief.

Rolled 17, 47 = 64

>>24481363
>>24481404
>>24481414
"The girl? She was young, wearing this silver and gold armor, and a cape. Looked like she was playing at being Morag the Immortal or somethin'!"

"Forg, you dolt! She had pointed ears, she must've been an elf. Who knows how old she actually was, that must've been how she knew all those sword moves."

"And the magic," another mutters. "I hate magic."

"Hey, I've got a grudge against those two that beat you, the fat one and his bulked buddy. Why not lend me a hand?" Scott asks.

>>24481566
Result: Nope.
Oh well, at least nothing bad will result.

Girl in silver and gold armor with a cape pointy ears? Magic user too. Hm. Dunno.

>>24481566
>17

"Why not fuck off?" another bandit asks. "Get out of here, we're not telling you anything else with you tryin' to get us killed like that."

"Yeah, fuck you, we're done being fodder," another says. "Get out of here before we decide we're not too tired to throw you in a ditch."

>>24481599
Fine whatever, we'll piss off.

>>24481599
Come on, Scott, let's go. We're behind the other racers as it is.

>>24481566

Sounds like that one Great Crusade member that was mentioned in the first installment of Yellowman Quest. Either that or some miscellaneous Numan from the Phantasy Star series.

At any rate, let's leave these guys alone. Continue onwards and see what lies ahead.

>>24481619
>>24481626
>>24481628
Leaving the bruised and battered bandits behind, Scott and company hurry onward. The sun has dipped below the horizon by the time the group has finally made it to the foot of the mountains.

"All right, it's getting late, I say we camp for the night," Scott says, looking at the mountains with a winch.

"No way, doc! We can get a little more distance easy, and we might be able to find a cave or something to camp in," Charlie says.

"What? I don't know which suggestion is worse, climbing at night or sleeping in a cave. How many times have caves in these worlds actually been fine and dandy places to camp?" Yellowman counters.

"What are you a wimp?" Sam asks. "We can blow away anything in a cave, and we've got enough light to see by until it gets darker and the mountain a bit harder to ascend."

>Continue for a little longer.
>Camp at the foot of the mountain.

>>24481835
It's obviously a DM trap but
>Continue for a little longer
Because I am curious.

>>24481835
>Camp at the foot of the mountain.
Because seriously, this is Oglaf. A cave would only be trouble.

Base of the mountain. If we're going to fall off a mountain again, I'd rather do it when it's light out.

>>24481835

>Camp at the base of the mountain.

Climbing rocks isn't simple even when there is a whole lot of daylight. One misstep and it could mean a broken leg or neck. It might be best to camp down by the foot of the mountain.

Rolled 5, 67 = 72

>>24481919
>>24481916
>>24481892
"I hate mountains. We're camping," Scott declares, crossing his arms.

"Bah!" Charlie mutters, shrugging off his pack. "We better not lose too much ground cuzza this."

"Do you want us to take wa-" Fat begins to ask.

"NO!" Yellowman shouts. "Er, I mean, no. Charlie, you take first watch, I'll take second, then Fat, you can get the rest."

"Okay..." Fat Fot Pot murmurs, zipping around the area until it finds a tree to nest in, the three aliens landing their hoverdiscs in the boughs of a tree and almost immediately falling into their equivalent of sleep. The others mill around, grab some of the Bear Steaks for a quick meal, then hit the sack.

>Lose Bear Steaks x3.

>>24482079
>5
What NOW?

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>>24482079
>5

...
...
...
I missed these rolls Meta Op.

>>24482119
Flatbear invasion.

>>24482119
The people who lived in the forest Yellowman indirectly burned down catch up to us?

Rolled 55

>5
Well, at least your next roll is good.
Wait, never mind. yoink!

>>24482131
>>24482135
>>24482146

Maybe it's just a random encounter roll. You know, randomly distributed results depending on the number, so higher doesn't necessarily mean better!

>>24482185
Nah, we're waking up to Double Krondor or something.

>>24482079
Yellowman wakes yet again to the sound of screaming, but at least this time it's not his own.

"Huh? Whu? Wh-What? What's going on?!" Yellowman demands as he slowly wakes and looks around. Sam and Charlie are frantically throwing what little gear you have onto Bob the donkey as Charlie turns to Scott with a pale face.

"Ghosts, boss! GHOSTS! Real honest to god GHOSTS, and I ain't sticking around in no haunted hills!" Charlie says. "Get up, because they're on their way!"

"Hey! Hey you! Get to flying!" Sam shouts, shaking the branches in which Fat-Fot-Pot had lain. The three aliens fall from the tree like fruit, striking the ground with a chorus of 'Ouch!'

"Gh...Can no one manage a simple watch around here without something terrible happening?!" Scott exclaims. Charlie shoots him a baleful gaze.

"Fuck you, mack! I saw the damn things before they got here and woke everyone! That's what a watch does!"

"Fine, fine, fine! Goddammit..." Yellowman swears as he struggles to jam on his boots. "Fuckin' hills, fuckin' mountains, fuck fuck fuck..."

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>>24482235
Got to move quick!

>>24482235
Dammit. Maybe we should have bought more oil or lamps.
Scott, use the flashlight to light our way for a bit. Once we're a couple hundred yards away, take the time to use the Flint and Steel to light the lamp.
We gotta conserve battery power where we can.

>>24482235
>GHOSTS
I'm trying to remember which Oglaf comics had ghosts, and they were mostly metaphors, or harmless.

Rolled 72

>>24482285
>>24482315
Scott throws on his armor as best as he can and pulls out his flashlight as everyone falls into step behind him, the pace stopping just short of a run.

"Doc, we might want to speed up a bit, look behind us!" Charlie warns. Yellowman risks a glance over his shoulder, and a faint green luminescence shines through the trees.

"Charlie, just how many ghosts did you see?!" Yellowman exclaims, breaking out into a full run.

"Enough!" Charlie yells.

>>24482379
RUN TOWARDS THE GHOSTS, GUNS BLAZING!

ahahahahah i'M back!

>>24482379
Shitballs. Keep running.

>>24482399
Sup

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>>24482399

>>24482379
Light some lamps. I don't know about Oglaf ghosts, but some ghosts don't like flame lighting the dark, since they're weak to either light or fire.
Keep running of course.
You too Sam

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>>24482379
The group hustles its way up the mountain side, nearly stumbling along the way a few times, but gaining enough ground that the glow fades and Yellowman is able to switch from the flashlight to his lamp. Charlie creeps up to a rocky ledge and motions.

"C'mere, Scott. Take a look at what we narrowly avoided," Charlie says, pointing to some point below. Scott nods and walks up to the ledge, peering down at the foothills, towards an area glowing green.

"Ghost sharks?!" he exclaims. "GHOST SHARKS?!"

"See why I was so keen to get out of there?" Charlie murmurs as the pair watch a veritable flood of translucent green sharks 'swim' through the air, one catching a deer and messily ripping it apart before the meat crumbles to dust.

"Fuck this world forever," Yellowman curses, stepping back. "Ghost sharks... Fucking ghost sharks."

"Do we want to try and camp a bit further up or just try to put distance between us and... uh, that," Sam asks.

>>24482409
finally got away from people throwing my ass outta the airdocks and here i am, how you doing?

>>24482379
Still not getting a positive return on what those are. But it's probably safer to just continue running.

>>24482445

Moving along might be a good idea. It's not clear if the sharks just hover over the ground or if they can fly; at any rate, it's probably not a great idea to stick around near a pack of deathless floating/flying killing machines. We may be able to find a safer campsite elsewhere.

>>24482445
>ghost sharks
Let's just...continue putting more distance between us and them.
But take it slow; the lamp light isn't great and we don't want anyone twisting their ankle.

>>24482445
Fuck it, keep moving.
There's bound to be a better place to sleep eventually.

>>24482494
this

>>24482488
They swim. They're sharks.
Only, everything is water.

Rolled 97

>>24482488
>>24482492
>>24482494
"Let's move for at least a bit more," Scott says, shivering. "I don't want to be dusty shark shit."

>>24482589
>97
Perhaps it is the threat of otherworldly oceanic killing machines, perhaps it is the urge to leave this world behind, perhaps it is their consummate skill, or maybe it's all of the above. For whatever reason, Scott and Charlie manage to expertly ascend the mountain despite the dark hour. Finding path after path safe for both donkey and man, the two navigate with ease, even managing to outright avoid a flight of giant bats and a small group of mountain trolls. Finally, they reach a small cluster of caves near what looks to be a treacherous path between two mountain peaks.

The air is freezing at this height, and a chill wind bites at the group.

>>24482657
We'll have to stop inside the caves until morning.
Fot, take a look inside to make sure it's safe first.

>>24482657
>>24482678

Seconding this. Keep an eye out for natives who may not be so keen on sharing their caves with the group.

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>>24482678
Fot wordlessly hops off his disc and pauses, nodding to each of the four cave mouths present as if to ask which one.

Rolled 3

>>24482657
Better rest in the fire and make a cave.
I dunno which cave to pick so have a 1d4 from closest to furthest.

Rolled 16, 33 = 49

>>24482589
>97
That's good but check out these

>>24482774
Second from the left. So second closest.

Rolled 94

>>24482826
>>24482801
Fot nods and cautiously enters the second closest cave.

>>24482859
>94
Can we just...let it ride for also checking the other caves?

>>24482859
A few minutes later, Fot scurries back out and Fat translates his report.

"This cave had a door a little further in. It was open, so Fot looked inside. There was a huge chamber carved from the stone of the mountain in there, looked like some sort of shrine. There were a number of traps around the entrance, but Fot disarmed them all."

>>24482883
>Let It Ride: If Charlie takes multiple actions and gets a critical success, he can use that result for all of his actions that turn.

If Charlie had scouted and you'd declared he'd be checking all the caves, then yes.

Otherwise, no.

>>24482899
Was there anything inside the chamber?

On the one hand, it's got a door that we can barricade.
But on the other hand, I'm not comfortable sleeping in a shrine in this world.

Perhaps we should have Fot explore the other caves first?

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>>24482899

Ask Fot about the shrine-looking place. Were there any huge statues inside of it with huge gemstones embedded in the eyes? Like in the picture right here?

>>24482918
>>24482954
"There was a stone altar, several stone shelves and pews, and a statue within. No gems or anything like that," Fat relays.

>>24483012
Was anything written on the walls?
Were the braziers lit?

>>24483012

Could you describe the statue in more detail, Fot? Did you see anyone there or any traces of the place being lived-in, like leftover food on the shelves or somesuch?

>>24483075
>>24483066
"It looked abandoned for some time, but the statue looked like a crudely made humanoid. Almost an 'X' of stone with a head. There were no braziers."

>>24483098
Nope, got nothing on this. Anyone else find something close to it in the archives?

Have Fot check the closest cave, just to see what's in there.

Rolled 64

>>24483208
Fot goes over to check the rightmost cave.

>>24483297
"Cave is full of stone statues. Fot thought he saw something moving in the shadows, but couldn't see what it was."

>>24483312

Probably a medusa or gorgon in that cave. Steer clear of that place.

Still searching through the archives, can't find any statue that matches the description of the one in the shrine so far.

>>24483312
>stone statues, moving shadow
Medusa cave. We'll stay out of that one.

Have Fot check the second farthest cave.

>>24483344
We could always just stare at her tits.

>>24483344

Seconding this.

I'm not sure if there's any example of the statue in the shrine, but there is a "wish dolly" made of straw that matches the description. It grants wishes, but to such an extreme that it never grants the user what they were aiming for when the wish was made.

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>>24483344
Actually this is one of the rare cases where thinking with your dick is actually the right decision.

>>24483570
MetaOP is really having too much fun with this to be legal.

Rolled 26

>>24483338
>>24483344
>>24483523
Sorry for the delay, I was called away.

Fot does what he does best. Scurry.

>>24483812
Shouldn't have pressed our luck I guess.

>>24483812
A few minutes after Fot enters the next cave, there is a deep roar and a blast of fire from the cave mouth. Fot rather hastily runs out of the cave and Fat begins to translate.

"There's a-" Fat says.

"No, nevermind," Yellowman says, waving his hands. "We'll be skipping that one."

>>24483833
Technically you could take care of the dragon pretty easily seeing as there's a gorgon nearby.
...But they might be roommates or something? I don't know how this cave works.

Might as well try the last one?

>>24483833
Last cave. And be careful, Fot.
We'll be sleeping in the shrine, it looks like.

>>24483208
Just looked through the whole archive, didn't find it.
>>24483523 seems to maybe have the right idea?

Rolled 57

>>24483885
Fot bounces up and down in what seems to be empathetic agreement with Yellowman's warning to be careful. Then he zips off to the last cave.

>>24484004
A few minutes later, Fot returns and Fat translates.

"Fot followed the caves for a while, but they kept going on. He didn't find anything while he was in there, but there might be something deeper in."

>>24484004
I have the mental image of a jumping spider I befriended one summer. It makes be rather happy.

>>24484044
I vote we head to the cave with the door, knock, and be very warm and polite to whoever opens it. If nobody opens, we stay on the "porch" and take watches.