Rolled 3

Rollan'

>>24369679
Failan'

Rolled 10

>>24369660
roll

And now the games begin.

Rolled 3

>>24369660

Oh shi

Rolled 10

>>24369660
Rollingu

Rolled 13

>time to fuck up wards hard
oh boy oh boy!

3,10, 3,10, 13

/tg/ dice what are you doing
/tg/ dice stahp

>>24369786
Stop? but it hasn't even begun anon

Rolled 19

>>24369786
>implying /tg/ dice haven't cursed this quest
>implying you can appeal to the dice
>implying you can stop the beat.

Today looks like a good day to fail at /tg/ dice rolls.

>>24369841

You son of a bitch.

>>24369835
anon? bu-bu-but I'm namefagging and everything! aw, my e-peen

Rolled 11

>>24369854
not a son of a bitch, just a 5th generation gambling addict.

"Alright, so how did you do that?"

"I tied it into the bounded field."

"Bounded field?"

"Yeah, the one around the house."

"Oh right, of course.... How?"

"I've had a chance to study the structure of the field. The way it's set up is weak to prevent any sort of accidental harm to people, but I can easily use it as the foundation for greater magecraft."

".... How?"

".... You know how you can add more levels to an already existing building? You just build around what's already there?"

"... Kinda."

"I'm doing that."

".... So what, I have a magic basement now?"

"What? No, that's not what I meant. It's a magic net, I'm just making a wider one around what's already there."

"Like fishing?"

"A fishing net?" She looks at me. "No, it would be more like a bug-net keeping stuff out. Or like a tripwire letting us know if somebody did something."

"So we're trying to trip up magical bugs? Like if someone taps the phone with some form of witchcraft?"

Tosaka stares blankly at me for several seconds. "... I guess that would be like scrying... so yes?"

"Alright, so how does that work?"

"It's like a bubble. Someone hits it and it pops. And then I know it was popped."

"And it won't happen on accident?"

"Hopefully not, since false alarms are a bad thing on a safety net."

"So wait, is it a net, a tripwire, or a bubble?"

We spend another few minutes completely failing to convey any practical knowledge to me, and we settle on 'it works because shutup' until we have time to schedule a followup lesson.

[ ] Back to bed.
[ ] Other (?)

>>24370005
>[X] Back to bed
Maybe we'll wake up with Assassin this time

Oh, and Ebook updated: http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDb

I'll edit the links in the pastebin so most recent version is always there, so you guys can still download the updated version even if I can't post it by the time the thread 404s.

>>24370047
[x]back to bed.

I agree wi-wait what...

>>24370005
We OBVIOUSLY need sleep.

Rolled 5

>>24370005

>[ ] Back to bed with Rin

>>24370063

>Out of curiosity, did you edit in the timeline thing?

>>24370005
>[X] Back to bed.

Grumble grumble hrumph.
Stupid magic being all complicated and stuff.

>>24370089
Second this.

>>24370005
>[ ] Back to the mountains/bed

>>24370095
Yeah, that's in now as well. A fellow anon E-mailed me a txt document of the timeline, and I put it in when the time approximately changed as well as reminders at the beginning of each chapter of what time it is.

>>24370089
Well why the hell not. Third this.

>>24370209

>Can you send me the txt somehow? I'd like to double-check some stuff.

>>24370318
Here, I just tossed it up on Pastebin for now. http://pastebin.com/bzXYcuSp

>>24370283
We need to double check her bounded field?

Rolled 8

>>24370386

We need to test its integrity.

>>24370431
For purely scientific purposes, of course.

>>24370501

and marine biology.

>>24370005
>Rin, come cuddle - I've had enough dreams about crazy wizards and you look soft and fluffy for sleeping with

WAIT GODS NO.

SHIROU AND AVENGER SWITCH PLACES WHEN THEY SLEEP.

Jokes an all aside, are we actually telling AC-Guy to make a move?

>>24370585
Nobody ever noticed it when they came in to wake us up.

>>24370585
No they don't.
People have seen us asleep before, Avenger was just screwing with Merlin's scrying in some way.

>>24370585
No, something was just mucking up Merlin's scrying.

Probably the fact that, from a magical standpoint, we're the same person. If Avenger was actively doing anything to fuck with Merlin's spells he would surely notice, so it has to be something incidental like that.

>>24370585
I was just about to say that too.
>>24370616
>>24370624
Would you like to risk the chance of Avenger swapping places in the night and killing/NTRing her?
Imagine how many Rin points we would lose if the latter happened and Rin learns that Merlin more or less told us this a few god damn hours beforehand.

>>24370607

>I don't know, are you? It seems weird as hell and kinda sudden to me.

>I mean, if there's a consensus or something, I'm not really in a position to argue....

>>24370676
Except that we already have in game proof that we don't switch, seeing as all of our talks with merlin have ended with someone coming in and waking up Shirou in his bed, in his house.

>Wait, I think the normal 'go to bed' option is winning slightly, unless someone changed their vote. I think I'll go with that just to keep us moving along.

>Note: I'm not trying to cock-block you or something, I just want to keep it moving for now.

>>24370005
Rin, I need you in my room, I just had a dream about a crazy wizard - I've had it a few times before - and he seemed to get me and avenger or shinji confused, I need you to be in my room while I sleep to make sure nothing strange is going on.

>>24370671
To be fair, this is the same person that taught magic to someone who hated him just because he wanted to fuck them and got sealed away because of it.

Next time we talk to Merlin we have to convince him to thoroughly doublecheck literally everything. I'm not sure how much of this was Avenger fucking with Merlin's scrying, and how much was simple arrogance on Merlin's part.

>>24370713
Do we? Or did Avenger just hear people coming in and swap back? To know for sure, we'd have to have someone observing us while we're unaware of their presence rather than barging into our room with the subtlety of a rhino. They DID say that we were making wierd noises, after all...

>>24370756
Seconding this.

>>24370763
>we'd have to have someone observing us while we're unaware of their presence
Could we go buy a video camera or something and set it up to watch ourselves?

>>24370756
This... THIS MAKES SENSE

WE HAVE A REASON TO GET HER IN OUR ROOM THAT ISN'T COMPLETELY NONSENSICAL.

>>24370754
we're kidding
ha ha ah ah ha
c'mon boss if we did half the shit we joked about Shirou be dead

>>24370756
This. With an awkward pause between "I need you in my room," and the explanation.

>>24370756
I like this. We said we were going to come clean with her about the Merlin business at the end of the last thread.

>>24370123 here


>>24370756
DO IT

>>24370756
Infact, bring rider and saber too - that way if what I think is going on is actually going on, we can really drop a surprise on them... I'd involve sakura too, but she doesn't seem to be too good at magic right now.

>>24370763

Actually, I had a thought.

Merlin said he couldn't tell us stuff directly, because reasons.

It's entirely possible he knows the correct answer and is now stringing us along by playing stupid because he knows the answers from our non Merlin assisted investigations.

So all he can do is play stupid at the right topics to make us prove him wrong somehow.

Rolled 12

>>24370856
yes, let's do this

well boss, it looks like rins going to be watching us.

>>24370756
Do we really want to tell Avenger about Merlin cooperating with us? Because Avenger seems to spy on us when we're awake.

>>24370878

AC-Guy, lets just go to sleep.

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>>24370857
Oh god.

No wonder Saber can't stand him.

>>24370756
...I'm hesitating on this, because if we're doing this FOR SCIENCE and not to get laid, I'd rather we have Saber or Rider watch, or have them nearby just in case it really is Avenger and shit hits the fan.
Second, I'm not sure if we should mention Merlin. Merlin specifically said he had to contact us through our dreams so Avenger couldn't eavesdrop, and won't learn about Merlin at all. If we drop that Merlin's been talking to us in our dreams, then that clues Avenger in and we have no idea what how bad that could go.
Fuck, he could hijack Merlin's dream, masquerade as Merlin and give us horrible, horrible ideas that will get us killed. Not that we need the help.

I go back to bed, and I'm woke up by Rider bright and early. "Eh?"

"Shirou. Two things: Firstly, I found out Sakura's been lieing to you. She's not up just because she's used to being up early, she's been having nightmares. Secondly, you've been bitching about not getting to cook. I figured an early shot at breakfast and some alone time with my Master would do much to calm you."

[ ] Time to cook!
[ ] Nightmares?
[ ] Cook with Sakura.
[ ] Tell Rider you're fine with not always cooking now.

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>>24370857
FUCKING MERLIN

>>24370940

>[ ] Nightmares?
>[ ] Cook with Sakura.

>>24370940
>[X] Nightmares?

That.... is all kinds of worrying.

>>24370940
[x] Nightmares?
and
[x] Tell Rider you're fine with not always cooking now.

Please tell me sakura isn't reliving riders rape at the hands of Poseidon... that would just be awful

>>24370940
>[ ] Nightmares?
Why thanks Rider...wat

>>24370971

>[x] Tell Rider you're fine with not always cooking now.

What is this heresy.

>>24370857

You're the one dude actually taking notes, aren't you?

I could totally see Merlin doing this. It's just the right mix of cunning, brilliant, helpful, and trolling asshole to fit.

>>24370976
dis

>>24370940
And the new plan is we come up with is shot down before things could spiral out of control! Hurrah!

>[ ] Nightmares?

>>24370940
>[x] Nightmares!

>>24370940
>[x] Nightmares?

>>24370940

>[ ] Nightmares?

Goddamn. I had a feeling dreams were bugging her, but never to this extent. We never really went through the Inception plan when we had a chance.

>>24370940
Nightmares?
Tell me on the way to the kitchen.

>>24370995
"Now girls, I'll need you all to get close and hold me down to make sure I don't somehow go anywhere when I go to sleep"

brilliantshiroutrolling.jpg

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>>24370940
>[x] Nightmares?
Do we need to go get the most ferocious guy we know?

>>24371031
"And remember - skin contact is vital for establishing if something wibbly-wobbly-magicky-wagicky happens"

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>>24371048

...

Hnnngh

Is this canon?

>>24371113
>Is this canon?
no

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>>24371113
No, just a tribute by some fans. They did at least one more.

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>>24371113
In my heart it is

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>>24371048
>>24371157

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>>24371048
>>24371157

>>24370940
Have I ever told you how perfect you are recently?
[x] cooking with Sakura

>>24371133
>>24371157

Dammit. I have not read Calvin and Hobbes for years...

This is just so cute.

"Well, thanks, I c- Nightmares?" I say, mind finally catching up with what she's told me.

"Yeah. I only got glimpses of it, but it went pretty straightforward. She's stuck in her room, and she sees a pair of knights in shining armor coming to save her. The first one she sees shakes hands with Zouken, and then leaves and slowly starts rusting away as he seems to go and complete some kind of task for him. The other one goes running forward, but then his armor's made of tinfoil and he gets really badly savaged by some sort of shadowy monster thing coming towards her."

"Well.... that's disturbing."

"Yeah. She woke up when she saw the rusted knight collapse in the distance and then you fall bleeding to death in front of her wearing shredded tinfoil and cardboard telling her that you cleared the way."

"Yeah, alright. I can get the gist of it. Kinda." I scratch my head. "Not sure how I'm supposed to talk to her about her knightmares, since it would require mind-reading for me to talk to her about them."

"I was going to talk to her about it already, I just wanted to give you a heads up. She's been doing everything she can to hide this stuff from you."

"She said she sees herself as a burden to us right now." I sigh, shaking my head. "I'm pretty sure she just wants us to keep from worrying more."

Rider facepalms. "Sometimes that girl...." She shakes her head. "I swear, Rin's the only one here who actually is open and honest about what she wants."

"Well, Maybe I can talk to her?"

"I'll talk to her, see if I can get her to open up to either you or her sister." Rider shrugs.

[ ] To the kitchen.
[ ] Ask about the 'honesty' thing.
[ ] Go start waking people.

>>24371157
>>24371048

>..... Goddammit. Right in the emotions.

>>24371341
[ ] Ask about the 'honesty' thing.

>>24371341
To the kitchen.
We must be prepared for kitchen hugbox with Sakura

>>24371341

>[ ] To the kitchen.
>[ ] Ask about the 'honesty' thing.

She can walk with us for awhile.

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another one

>>24371341
>[ ] To the kitchen.
>[ ] Ask about the 'honesty' thing.

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>>24371341
>her knightmares
Ohoho Shirou you witty cad.

>[ ] Ask about the 'honesty' thing.
But... but... Saber is honest too right? And so are you, right? I don't understand!

>>24371341
>[x] Ask about the 'honesty' thing.

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>>24371391

Do it.

>>24371341

>[ ] To the kitchen.

Things to do today:
>Breakfast with Arc
>Lunch with Lancer and Bazett
>Maybe fix bike in between
>Time for Sacchin to go back home
>Whatever screwups in-between that Shirou always gets himself into

And did Rider regain her contract with Sakura now?

>>24371341
[x] Go start waking people.
>>24371420
Merlin said Rider's having trouble believing in happy endings. And Saber's probably trying to come to terms with how badly she wants Shirou's dick.
Also, Ilya is afraid of losing her onii-chan.

>>24371457
You forgot 'figure out this contract shit with Saber'.

>>24371501
Oh yeah. And Caster moving out to her new base.

Wouldn't it be hilarious if Caster and Lancer scouted out the same place, and ends up on a 'fight' for first dibs?

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How long more before this happens?

And who does it? Rin, Sakura, Saber or Rider?

>>24371341
>her knightmares
>you fall bleeding to death in front of her wearing shredded tinfoil and cardboard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OISR3al5Bnk
>[x] Ask about the 'honesty' thing.

>>24371552
Yes.
And yes.

>>24371552
What makes you think it won't be a group effort?

>>24371552
Apparently that show shits all over the manga.

>>24371341
[X] To the kitchen.
and if Rider comes with
[ ] Ask about the 'honesty' thing.
Though we can prolly figure it out. Saber's got an interest but is trying to fight it. Rider is being a tease. And as we just said, Sakura thinks she's a burden and doesn't deserve what she wants

>>24371552

Source?

>>24371681
Google is your friend.
Aku no Hana

"Alright, what's that about the honesty?" I ask, looking at her. "Because I think you accused both yourself and Saber of being dishonest."

"Also you." She responds. "I'm not sure what you're trying to do in regards to all the girls interested in you, but I'm not sold on it being JUST you wanting to spare feelings. Even if you're not aware of it, there's other motives there. Even if you're too busy hating yourself to notice it."

"... what?" I can barely get it out, confused by her sudden attack.

"Hey, I'm not saying it's a hugely terrible thing." She hesitates. "Or at least, I don't think it is. Then again, I'm old fashioned like that. Even if you're afraid of actually admitting it out loud, you can't say the idea never occurred to you."

"It did. Then about how it would end badly, and then about how even making that work out would cause as many problems as it solved."

"See? That's another thing. You're practically covered in attractive women and all you can see is the downsides." She frowns. "Honestly, I'm a little worried for your sanity. You never even imagined a little girl on girl?"

"I'm trying not to, since I think that once I do it'd be really hard to stop." I hesitate. "Wait, what about you and Saber then?"

"Saber clearly wishes that she wasn't attracted to you, even when she clearly is at least a little bit. she actually seems completely terrified of being feminine at all. I'd suggest giving her the dick if I wasn't still rooting for you and Sakura."

"Wait, wha-"

"Seriously. What is even her deal? It's not like you'd say no. Or anyone would. Hell, Gilgamesh has already asked for it, more than once."

"And what about you?"

She freezes mid tirade, and coughs into one hand with a slight blush. "Honestly, I don't even know anymore. I didn't really have a wish coming into this, and when I got here I wanted Sakura to be happy. Then things had to get all complicated."

"Complica-"

"Sakura is already in the kitchen."

[ ] TO COOKING!
[ ] Keep pressing.

>>24371681
Aku no Hana / Flowers of Evil.

Read the manga it's fucking beautifully drawn, the show looks horrifying in comparison.

>>24371717
COOKING

>>24371717
Keep pressing

"Have you never wanted a happy ending for yourself? Tell you what I know about this movie called the princess bride - when we get even a tiny bit of downtime, we're going to gather up *everyone* and watch it together".

>>24371717
>[x]PRESSURE COOKING

>>24371717
>[X] Keep pressing.

See, you're guilty too. Not so easy now is it?

>>24371717
>[X] Keep pressing.

>>24371772
Princess Bride solves all problems.

>>24371717
>[ ] Keep pressing.
Your distraction-fu is weak. Emiya Shirou has a Mind of Steel

>>24371717
>[x] Keep Pressing
I'm not letting that one go. We can chase Sakura out of the kitchen, but we aren't going to get another chance to pressure Rider like this.

>>24371776

Yes.

Tell us more as we move to the kitchen

>>24371717
>[ ] Keep pressing.

Our obsessive need to cook can wait!
We can always sneak away at some point and cook lunch 1-2 hours before anyone ever considers eating if we start having cooking-withdraw symptoms.

>>24371820
>Emiya Shirou has a Mind of Swords
FTFY

>>24371717
>[X] Keep pressing.

Rider, I'm Emiya Shirou, supreme god-king of redirecting conversations away from uncomfortable topics. It'll take more than that to throw me off the scent.

>>24371717
[COOKING]
I'm sorry what were we talking about cooking? Oh yes that's a marvelous idea kthx bye.

>>24371772
This is a marvelous idea.

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>>24371717
>I'd suggest giving her the dick
Someone's been reading Descartes while volunteering at the library.
>>24371717
>[x] Keep pressing.
Flustered Rider is adorable.

"A solid attempt, but I'm the undisputed Master of redirecting from uncomfortable topics." I tell her, folding my arms. "You want people to be honest, how about we start with you. What do YOU want?"

"I want Sakura to be happy." She says quietly.

"That's nice, but what about you? What about for you?" I ask, and she backs away a little, clearly uncomfortable. "Come on, just me and you right now. Open and honest, whatever is said here stays here."

She's silent for a long time, looking down sadly. "You know, not everything bad about my legend was the fault of others."

"So?"

"So what if I don't deserve better than I got? Am I really so big a monster that I would steal that happiness from someone who deserves it more?" She sinks to the floor, hugging her knees. "What about Sakura? Or Rin? Or Saber? Why should I be the one of all people to get the happy ending? Even my Sisters deserved it more than me."

>What say?

>>24372060
craaaap

>>24372060
"Happiness is not a finite resource. You don't have to steal it from others to have it yourself."

>>24372060
Hug her. Huge her now.

>>24372060
Deploy hugging.

Happiness is like truth rider - it isn't a finite thing. In fact, happiness is *infinite* you do not need to take someones happiness to have your own, only someone ruined by envy would do that.

>>24372103
>>24372122
These. ASAP.

>>24372060
"You stupid idiot of stupidity, more than one person can have a happy ending."

Also, hug her.

>>24372103
>>24372122
Thirding these

>>24372060
This >>24372103

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>>24372060
Rider when questioned on happiness turns into cirno.

>>24372060
"Sakura couldn't of summoned a Servant more like her if she tried."
Then >>2437210 and >>24372122

>>24372103
this

Harem really is going to be the only answer

>>24372211
Fuck, meant >>24372103.

>>24372211
Seconded. Except "couldn't have".

>>24372222
We dug ourselves into this hole, and god dammit we will bury ourselves in it if we have to.

>>24372060
"Happiness isn't something you can use up, you can have it without taking it from others. What you did or didn't deserve in your past life is irrelevant. You are HERE, NOW, and you've been given a second shot at a better ending. It would piss me right the hell off if you wasted that chance."

>>24372231
Goddamn it. Every time.
Excuse me while I commit Sudoku.

>>24372222
>"Everybody get naked right now."
>"but-"
>"No buts! Wait, actually, yes butts. All the butts. UNLIMITED BUTT WORKS."

>>24372269
I am the curve of my butt.

>>24372269
>Rider: "Shirou, what the he--"
>"We're making fuck."
>Rin: "Shirou that's not even grammat-"
>"ALL OF THE FUCK. NOW."
>Sakura: "Oh god, Shirou, did we break you? I-it's okay, you can pick one of us. We won't get mad at all, promise. Look, take Rin. She likes you the most. J-just stop, please."

I sit next to her, and pull her into a hug. "Happiness isn't some finite resource. you don't have to be happy at someone else's expense."

".... What if it's over something that can't be shared?"

"Well if you're thinking about what I think you're thinking about, I'm not 100% sure that's true. And even if we're thinking of different things, I don't see why we can't find more somewhere else or something."

She's still for a long moment, lost in thought. "When we were fighting Gilgamesh. Why did you really help me?"

"Because I care dammit." I answer with a frustrated sigh. "You're important to me, as a friend if nothing else. I care, therefore I will recklessly endanger myself to make you feel better."

".... What if I don't deserve it?"

".... Good Lord, Sakura couldn't have summoned a Servant more like herself if she tried." I sigh, shaking my head. "Listen, what you did before is irrelevant. You said yourself that things born of Faith are shaped by it, so on some level you couldn't help what you did. Besides, here and now, you're with people who care. You have a chance to be happy, and I'm going to be really pissed if you throw that away just because."

".... You're strange sometimes."

"Is that a bad thing?"

".... No, I don't think it is." She smiles. "... you know, Sakura's busy and nobody else is awake...."

[ ] .... Are you suggesting we make out?
[ ] .... Are you suggesting we work on the Bike?
[ ] .... RIGHT, SHIT, THE KITCHEN!

>>24372428
>MY LOVE FOR YOUS... IS LIKE A TRUCK, DO YOU WANT MAKING FUCK!?

>Illya: "BAHSAHKAH - STOP MY ONII-CHAN"

>>24372481
[x] .... Are you suggesting we make out?

>>24372481
>[X] .... Are you suggesting we make out?

Is this a trap to embarrass us? Probably.

Do I care? Not even a little.

Gotta let her have a victory once in a while.

>>24372490
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stdY7NMWhLc

>>24372481

>[ ] .... Are you suggesting we make out?

"Well, if you want to get your piece of happiness right now..."

>>24372481
>[ ] .... Are you suggesting we work on the Bike?
Give her the B

>>24372481

>[x] COOKING!

I have this mental image of Rider leaning in for the Kiss and Shirou just leaves in a startled rush.

>>24372481
>[x] .... Are you suggesting we work on the Bike?
Because that's what we were talking about, right? Sharing the bike?

>>24372481
SHIT, THE KITCHEN
Dense shirou go go

>>24372481
>[x] .... RIGHT, SHIT, THE KITCHEN!

>>24372574
Yes.

>>24372481
[x] bike
You get the chain and I'll get the grease. Wait you were talking about working on the bike right?

>>24372481
>[ ] .... Are you suggesting we make out?

Why not. This could be fun.

>>24372481
[x] .... RIGHT, SHIT, THE KITCHEN!
ILYA GETS FIRST KISS
THIS IS NOT NEGOTIABLE

>>24372481
Oh god, as tempting as going full retard "You lost me" and work on the bike,
>[ ] .... Are you suggesting we make out?

...And yet I can't shake the feeling we're being watched anyway. Oh well, I'm chalking it up as purely paranoia this time unless it's Assassin.

>>24372481
"I know exactly what you want." Then give her a big, hard hug from the front rather than the side. "You want extra eggs, right? I'll go get right on that." Leave in a hurry to the kitchen. Leave it completely ambiguous as to if we're screwing with her or completely dense.

Goddamn, I REALLY want to go with
>[ ] .... RIGHT, SHIT, THE KITCHEN!
because it's just such classic Shirou.

Also, seriously Rider "Hey, so about that whole 'I came to get you so that you could get some alone time to help my Master get through some of her issues' thing... Wanna bone instead?"

I know we just told you you deserve your happy ending and all, but damn that's cold.

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>>24372481
[ ] .... Are you suggesting we make out?

Inb4 Ilya walks in on us and blackmails the SHIT out of us.

[x] make out

You CANNOT act dense after a talk like that.

It'll be clear that shirou is doing it on purpose.

And asking about it doesnt mean we NEED to do it.

>>24372481
[ ] .... Are you suggesting we work on the Bike?


Also, I feel like at some point we need to tell Rin that we are keeping two things from her (Red Archer alliance and Merlin) but that we can't tell her what they are even though we want to. Because of reasons we don't fully understand well enough to actually know how much bad would happen if we told anyone (but there are reasons).

>>24372481
>[ ] .... Are you suggesting we make out?

We can't afford to be dense right now. It isn't worth the risk.

>>24372481
>[x] .... Are you suggesting we work on the Bike?
>>24372550
And that's why the English dub of Berserk is awesome. Those outtakes man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXYiFFM7WH4

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C'mon Shirou

Do it

Be a man

>>24372658
Tell her outright that we have reason to believe that Avenger might be spying on us, and thus certain secrets must be kept.

"Rider.... Are you suggesting we make out?"

"Actually, I was suggesting a good deal more than that." She says with a smile, crawling into my lap. When I realize what she means, she's already pressed her mouth to mine and I completely forget the protests I was going to make.

I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing that we don't have time to get anywhere when there's a knocking on the door. "Onii-chan? Are you awake?"

[ ] Let her in.
[ ] Pretend to be asleep.
[ ] Other (?)

>>24372761
The issue with this is that if he IS actually spying on us, saying so aloud to someone else lets him know the jig is up.

Now I'm not terribly sold on the fact that he has an actual, consistent way to keep tabs on us, especially since him having something like that would've thrown a pretty substantial wrench into spur-of-the-moment plans, like our juking Gil between the Church and the Temple while Avenger was guarding it, that he otherwise could've dealt with almost immediately if his direct spyline was through Shirou himself.

I feel like his insight on us more likely comes from whatever metaknowledge he hinted at with the "Oh right, that hasn't happened to you yet. Don't mind me, just being all non-linear." line from our first conversation with him, but whatever the actual mechanisms are behind almost EVERYTHING Avenger has done so far is still up in the air for now.

>>24372987
>[x] Let her in.
After Rider gets off of us. Ilya might spill the beans.

>>24372987
see >>24372632's image
and let her in

>>24372987
Now is not the time to press our luck. She's made a fine, amazing, stimulating, tantalizing point of her intentions, and now we need to stop ourselves before everything goes to shit. Gently remove her from ourselves (in a way that's not outright rejecting her) and go see what Ilya wants.

>>24372987
goddamnit, why do siblings always have to be cockblocks.

start screaming "ILYA, SAVE ONII-CHAN, RIDER IS ATTACKING ME!"

>>24372987
This is the perfect excuse to finally escalate this harem issue to a head.

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>>24372987
>>24372632
Called the FUCK out of that!

>[X] Pretend to be asleep.
Ilya is our cute little sister. Rule #1 of little sisters: NEVER LET THEM KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF.
They will use it against you. See that money in your wallet? No you don't, because you just bought your sis that ice cream. And that stuffed animal. And took her on a shopping spree at a too-expensive clothing shop.

>>24372987
>[ ] Let her in.
After Rider gets off.
Ilya walking in before that could be all kinds of good in having her deal with the rest of the sharks, or all kinds of bad for dealing with everyone else incorrectly.

>>24372987
Rider this is the other reason I'm dawdling. The universe doesn't approve of me having a sex drive.

Let Illya in.

>>24372987
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmcYc9JNGoQ&t=2m38s

Start screaming like this, proclaim that rider attacked you and was trying to steal your oxygen - she also invaded your bubble.

Then on a more serious note, deal with harem issues

>>24372987
>[X] Let her in.

After making sure Rider is safely off us.

>>24372987
>[ ] ([sighs externally] and) Let her in.

I suggest we explain this situation with a doubly truthful "Rider was just getting me up."

>>24372987
[x] Other.
"Just a sec, lemme get dressed."
Then tell Rider to convince the others that they need to jump Shirou as a group. Saber would probably cooperate if she thought it was for the greater good.

>>24373008
True. While I share your suspicions regarding his capabilities, paranoia is best here. We should try to find some way to express that our privacy may be compromises: We're not the only ones with valuable information to protect, after all.

>>24373083
Only downside I can see of pretending to be asleep is if Ilya barges in anyway. Letting her come in after getting Rider off sounds like the safest bet.
>>24373148
Modifying my vote to this.

>>24373148
This seems like the best plan.
Just make sure rider is off of us before ilya comes in

>>24373148
Yes.......

Yes I can dig this.

>>24373175
This. Rider goes intangible and we go hit on the other purple haired girl.

She was certainly getting a certain part of us up.

What if Rider doesn't want to stop?

>>24373244
I think she knows better than that.

>>24373269
Rider's gonna ride.

>>24373340
A+ Rank, actually.

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>>24373340
Do....do we gain superpowers when she rides us?

>>24373361
yes

>>24373361
That is even more bizarre than the idea of her giving Saber powers from a piggyback
I love it

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>>24373361
Only one way to find out.

>>24373361
Yes. We cum swords.

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>>24373175
I can almost see how this conversation would go.

Ilya: You were getting dressed while Rider is inside your room?
Shirou: Uh... It's fine! She's got a blindfold on.

Ilya won't be convinced that easily, I think.

>>24373386
That sounds mildly unpleasant.

>>24373386
And suddenly we know why shirou is terrified of sex.

Shooting swords out of your penis has to be like the worst bladder stones *ever*

>>24373452
But what if your penis is ALSO a sword?

"Damn." I mumble.

"Pretend your asleep." Rider orders roughly.

"No, I need to get you off and let her in."

"That's the spir-"

"No, not like that."

There's a pause and then Rider sighs. "Yeah, you're right. We shouldn't be doing this, not yet. At least not before you know how everyone else stands."

".... Yeah...." I respond, looking away guiltily.

"Seriously. I'll gladly be the one missing out if it means everyone else is happy." She smiles. "I guess you're a lot closer to winning me over though, aren't you?"

I sigh as she climbs off of me, and I decide to remain sitting. "Yeah, I'm awake. Come on in."

Ilya enters the room, and hesitates. "Oh. Did Rider already come wake you up?"

"She was just getting me up, yes." I answer smoothly. "What's up?"

She looks to me, and to Rider, like she's thinking a little too hard about things I'd rather she not think about right now. "... Do you have a minute to talk?"

"Alone?" Rider asks. "Don't mind me, I'm going to go wake Rin for Breakfast."

She leaves the room, and Ilya looks at me. A very slight devilish grin crosses her face. "Moment of weakness?"

"Not exactly, but close enough." I sigh. "You're going to blackmail me, aren't you?"

"Why would I need to blackmail you? You're already more than willing to do pretty much anything I want." Ilya queries, tilting her head slightly in confusion.

"As true as that may be...."

"Nah, I'm actually kinda happy that you were willing to do something actually." She says with a surprisingly kind smile. "I feel like I should say something about them making an honest man out of you, but honest men are boring and I'm pretty sure Harems are morally counter-productive anyway."

"This isn't why you came in here."

"... No, it isn't." She sits down. "I'm worried about something. Berserker isn't here, but he's not dead. Or if he is. he didn't return to the Grail like he should have."

>What say?

>>24373468
"If he isn't dead, then that's good news, right?"

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>>24373468
>Harems morally counterproductive
>ILYA IF YOU DONT SAY ANYTHING I WILL BUY YOU *ALL* THE ICECREAM
>Broserker still being alive

Well... I guess its time to find our best friend and make sure he's okay.

>>24373468
>Rider was getting me up
She sure was.

>>24373467
YoDawg.jpg

>>24373468
When I was walking home last night, Red Archer showed up and delivered a message from Berserker. He was apparently under the impression that Berserker should have faded by now, so he either found another Master... or his energy ended up somewhere other than the Grail.

>>24373468
"We can only assume Avenger is somehow responsible. I doubt there's another magus in the city who could support him for long."

>>24373565
Oh yeah, we haven't told her that yet have we? We should do that.

Rolled 9

>>24373468
>he didn't return to the grail
rollin for san.

>>24373596
Don't count Zouken out yet.
He's been below our radar for quite a while now.

>>24373508
>>24373468
Worst possible situation is that he's now locked in crazy-mode.

>>24373565
Something like this. It doesn't say Archer is a secret ally, just delivering a dying message

>>24373468
When a Servant is destroyed they return to the Grail, right? Then that means that he's either not dead but bound, which means we have to find him. He's chosen to bind himself to another master, which is unfortunate but workable depending on the master or very bad news indeed. Perhaps his essence has been dispersed--Gilgamesh and Avenger are quite powerful in their own right. It's awful to think it, but one or the other might well have the ability to annihilate a Servant's essence entirely. You'd need something capable of destroying a planet to pull that off I imagine. Lastly, perhaps his essence went elsewhere? A vessel closer at hand than the Holy Grail?

And Illya... how exactly do you know whether a Servant is in the grail or not? I know what Iri was. Don't tell me that you too...?

Hold up since berserker can swap into whoever can fill the class requirements which is only to go bat shit crazy, what if he turned into a zerker who can self sustain like frankenloli or even lu de grais since im fairly sure he fufilles the parameters

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>>24373468
>"... No, it isn't." She sits down. "I'm worried about something. Berserker isn't here, but he's not dead. Or if he is. he didn't return to the Grail like he should have."
...FUCK! The shards from the 4th war's Grail that Zouken failed to nab! Brozerker got absorbed in them, and who knows where they are?

>>24373678
Huh, good point actually. Ask Illya if this could be what's going on right now.

>>24373468
"You knew him better than any of us, right? Do you think he would have recontracted with anyone else, even if it was under duress?"

>>24373651
We already know this, I think, based on Kiritsugu's 4th War notes and Merlin's reaction when we brought her up being to lose his cool and go "Fuckin' Acht; why's that raging douche gotta keep makin' the grail cores sentient."

>>24373651
Well, we know from Shinji that Gilvenger were surprised that Berserker disappeared, so it's not them.

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>>24373596
Well, there's one person who's happy to help out, hasn't had much contact with us, and has enough mana to support Bahsahkah no matter what the hell he does...

>>24373694
I've got a suspicion that Avenger has his own little pet Grail set up somewhere.

>>24373708
DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT

>>24373708
No Command Seals/Spells/Sigils/Thingamabobs

>>24373719
I think Brozerker as Arc's servant is better than Brozerker as Avenger's

>>24373725
She might not have them in a visible location ie under her clothing.

Rolled 16

>>24373727
question is why would she need one though?
crimson moon + grail= dead universe.

>>24373739
The only solution is to examine every inch of her skin for suspicious marks.

And it's Arc, so that excuse might actually work.

>>24373750
She doesn't need one, but if Broserker asked her for help she'd probably go 'sure why not' and contract him to supply him with mana.

>>24373708
I had the most absurdly setting-breaking idea.
Arc gets Brozerker.
Arc can't control her bloodlust due to the additional strain.
Brozerker takes almost all of her prana so she can't attack anyone.
Arc, in her insane, bllod-crazed state, flips out on Berserker and tries to +1 him.
Berserker drains that too and gets even stronger.
Repeat until setting breaks.

>>24373761
>Arc can't control her bloodlust due to the additional strain.
Would probably not happen since Arc can just tap into the planets energy directly.

>>24373761
You say that as if the setting is not already innately broken

Rolled 17

>>24373761
forgot the whole end result is the planet dies, game over GG scrub get rekt.

literally that is the worst possible end ever.

>>24373703
>We already know this, I think
Correct. Illya however does not know we know, and getting her to confirm it can serve as further proof for the character that the dream is more than a dream.

And hey, Illya points. Poor Sakura though, making breakfast all alone.

>>24373758
C'mon, man. You never go full Issei.

>>24373761
Amusingly, AC-Guy said this himself, actually, in the thread where we lost him in the first place. (Though in regard to the two fighting, not a Master/Servant contract.)

>[...]. With a big enough battery he could theoretically take down Arc.

>Theoretically, since it would require about as much energy as the SUN and there's a better than decent chance that the escalating power-levels between the Mad Enhancement boost and the way Arc's power works (her power level effectively being Her opponent + 1-2) would DESTROY REALITY.

>EX rank Mad Enhancement is a hell of a drug.

>Oh god what the fuck is anybody even voting for.

>>24373799
>>24373761
It would be like an episode of DBZ.

Just two people standing there for hours, screaming at each other as their powerlevel rises.

>>24373813
I think the consensus is try to directly confirm that Illya's the grail vessel. We already know but would like to hear it from her.

>>24373813
I think we're questioning her about her grailhood

>>24373813
Tell Oneechan about Brozerker's Last Will and Testament and about Gilvenger not knowing what happened.

>>24373813
It looks like a little bit of uh "Is berserker being alive a bad thing ilya" with a bit of wild speculation on whether or not he could sustain himself... and one suggestion of shirou buying ilya *all* the icecream if she stays quiet till he works out his relationship issues

Rolled 7

>>24373813
i think everyones in between asking illya why in the shit does she know that and who wins if arc accidently contracts bahzahkah

>>24373829
>>24373837
>>24373839
>>24373840
>Grailhood
>Talk about Broserker
>ALL THE ICE CREAM

>>24373813
This
>>24373839

>>24373840
I think that trying to pressure her is just going to make her leverage us all the harder.

>>24373769
Ah, I forgot about that. Directing the Earth's prana into Berserker would be much easier (and safer for everyone involved).
I never remember the extent of Arc's power outside of her Marble Phantasm. I think it just registers as "more OP than OP" or something.
>>24373786
I never said it was a good idea, just an absurd one.
>>24373799
That's where I got the idea from actually. if AC-Guy never mentioned it, it would still be in that "more OP than OP" category to me and I wouldn't of bothered remembering it.

>>24373860
But we're already her most reliable minion - we get her ice-cream on demand and foil all of her ambush/kidnapping attempts

>>24373813
[spoilers][ ] Derail thread further.[/spoilers]

Should definitely bring up the message Archer relayed to us, regardless of what else happens during this conversation.

It's literally the only thing we know about Berserker's current state of being, so mentioning it seems like a pretty good idea while talking about what the deal is.

While I'm thinking about this, in reading back a little bit (making sure I didn't make up that Arc asked Berserker about whether he was the Vampire), I ran into this interesting line in 21st:

>"Wait, you know who Berserker is?" Ilya asks confused.

>"... Of course. The heroes you have running around are or were people, so there's still a connection to the world there." Arcueid responds, genuinely surprised.

Does this mean she can just take a look at Avenger and let us know what his deal is once and for all?

Or US for that matter? I'd be interested in hearing what her Internal Planet Rolodex returns as far as what it thinks our deal is.

>>24374000
i'm entirely ok with this.

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Why do people refer to Archer as "The Other Archer" when we know Gilg is Gilg?

>>24374000
>>24374017
Now that's a nice idea.

>>24374039
I thought we had settled on red/gold archer.

>>24374067
Whats wrong with Shirou and Gilgamesh? I mean, since we're apparently not the real Shirou anyways, it shouldn't cause too much of a problem

"When I encountered Gilgamesh the other night, I spoke briefly to the other Archer. He said he spoke to Berserker." Ilya looks at me surprised. "Apparently he wanted him to pass along a message to me, and told Archer that they wouldn't be meeting again. Apparently Archer said he was weakened and starting to fade at the time, and guessed he might even be dead by then."

"He isn't." Ilya says with conviction.

".... That you're so certain worries me." I tell her. ".... Ilya, I found some of Dad's notes about your Mother....."

"That we have a strong connection to the Grail?" She asks. "I don't know all the details, but we're modeled after our ancestor, who gave her life to serve as the basis of the Grail system. Whenever the Grail begins to manifest, I'm the one who's supposed to act as the conduit."

"So you would know if a Servant died...."

"Because they would pass through me on the way to the Greater Grail." She says with a nod. "I was told by Grandfather that I would begin to inherit their memories to a degree as the Grail began to manifest, and he gave me instructions on how to mitigate the strain of the mantling until I had won the War."

"The strain?"

"I'm not a proper Homunculus like my Mother was, and my magecraft and the way my circuits and Crest were awakened and implanted have apparently stunted my growth to a degree as well." She answers calmly. "It's therefore possible that I won't take the process as.... gracefully as my Mother did. In addition, there was no other Einzbern champion in this war. I had to serve as both a vessel and a Master at once."

>What say/do?

>>24374089
Well first of all, most people don't know that Archer is Shirou.
And I honestly don't know why we don't say Gilgamesh, considering that's what we call him IC

>>24374100
ask if there's a way to stop it

>>24374100
Hugs.

>>24374100
"Is it possible to hijack this process? Cause the Servants to go into a different vessel?"

>>24374089
Except for the part where everyone is still calling us Shirou, including the guy writing the plot posts.

Having two Shirous is confusing enough when you're one of them, having to read what is rapidly becoming UNLIMITED SHIROU WORKS without clear proper nouns is too much.

>>24374111
Merlin told us that he was going to look into this for us, so it's at least somewhat being addressed.

>>24374100
"Is there any way to change what the Greater Grail will treat as the vessel? Shinji mentioned something about Avenger's plan having been to use the Vampire as a vessel for something, and the Grail is the only thing I can think of to tie it all together."

This covers the "I want to help Ilya" line of questioning while also bringing up the line of questioning on potential counterfeit grails that Berserker might've gone to.

>>24374100
Can't we redirect it into an actual fucking cup for one? I mean, it's called the Holy GRAIL for a reason.

>>24374100
Is it possible that someone could have set up their own conduit to the Grail to cut you out of the loop?

The evidence suggests that Gilvenger didn't get their hands on him, and the list of people capable of supplying him with power is VERY short. Given that we're already thinking the Grail has been mucked with, that seems more likely than him miraculously finding a new Master at the last second.

>>24374161

The Einzberns tried an inanimate object for the first three wars.
It... didn't work out.

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>>24374157
>having to read what is rapidly becoming UNLIMITED SHIROU WORKS without clear proper nouns is too much.

>>24374178
Bones are the bones of me
Body is my body and blood is my blood
I have tripped over a thousand flags
Unaware of the birds, nor aware of bees
Withstood pain to create harems, waiting for one's arrival
I have no regrets. This is the only path
My whole life was Unlimited Shirou Works

>>24374209
>This is what Rin chants every times she's about to go to sleep at night

I pull her into a hug, and she lets out a small surprised squeak. "Onii-chan?"

"Sorry. I just... I felt I needed to do that." I answer, letting her go. She smiles back a little sadly. "Is there anyway to change that? Make someone or something else the vessel?"

"With me being the dedicated target for the Spirits?" She answers. "Maybe if they did something like tear out my heart and implant it elsewhere." She sees my eyes widen. "Or, I guess someone could try and use an older Grail that was still intact. You would need to either find and repair the original artifact, or somehow...." She hesitates. "Actually, I'm not even sure of any other option, given how the last war ended."

There's a long moment of uncomfortable silence. "There's no other way?"

"No. Well, Maybe I could survive the process if it was done quickly and cleanly especially since I took precautions. Having that much raw magical energy might have other consequences to my health though."

"... Huh." I say, for lack of anything else to say. "Well, maybe someone found a way around it. Gilgamesh and Avenger seemed surprised to find out he was missing, since he apparently sent them running."

"But then who's left to-" She hesitates, eyes wide. "Zouken. He claimed to be involved in the original forging of the Grail system. He would know how, if there was a way."

"He said he didn't though."

"And you believed him?"

".... Good point....."

>Actions?

>>24374293
Cooking?
Not much else we can do in this scene

>>24374293
Breakfast. Our busy day just got busier

>>24374293
Breakfast time.

I really think our situation with the girls is reaching critical mass, and action must be taken.

Gentlemen, I think it's time we formally suggest and pursue the Tenchi Solution.

>>24374293
"I think that if Zouken had been successful in making a new Grail out of the pieces of the old one he wouldn't have mentioned to me at all that he could make one. Either way, too much thinking for not having had breakfast."

>>24374293
Sakura may be a fine cook and all, but it's our duty to be there, and we've been putting it off for far to long

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>>24374293
>"Maybe if they did something like tear out my heart and implant it elsewhere."

:D

>>24374293
Pick Ilya up. Carry to kitchen. Hand to Sakura.

AC-Guy's internet has gone retarded and stuff, so he was gonna call it a night and continue tomorrow.

Preferably in this thread if it lived.

>>24374339
We never even got to make breakfast ;_;

>>24374355
Probobly for the best, with the way /tg/ dice were going we coulda burned down our house...

>>24374209
>Unaware of the birds, nor aware of bees
My fucking sides.

>>24374370
I did miss a trick by not using "Sword is the bone of me."

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Rolled 16

>>24374360
>implying we can ever mess up cooking

>>24374360
We only screw up badly when it doesn't have anything to do with Shirou's main skills, swords and cooking

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Just wanted to stop in and say thanks AC-Guy. I may frequently forget what fun is or how to laugh but your threads always bring it all back.

Oh look, Zouken's coming up again. And everyone else in the house thinks he might've been scrying on us.

Man, the rest of our house is gonna be super paranoid.

>>24374293
>"He said he didn't though."
Zouken DEFINITELY told us he tried to do Grail stuff; not necessarily to reconstruct it, but enough to let us know that he was planning something with at least some of the remains of the 4th Grail.

>"Secure the grail, use it's power for my own purposes." He responds evenly. "As I swore to do when it was created." He looks me over, before continuing. "I suppose there's no real point in hiding the truth any more. I originally adopted Sakura to try and make for something of a puppet heir. To strengthen the Matou blood again, or even use her to win the war. At the end of the last one, I attempted to collect fragments of the grail to assist in the process."

>"What happened?"

>"They weren't what I expected them to be. They were pale and lifeless, but then suddenly they took shape and left me behind. I tried to investigate, and resolved myself to playing the long game instead." He shakes his head. "The last war ended... wrong. I was hoping to exploit that fact, but I failed to gather the resources to do so when suddenly it began to reappear." He sighs, and then looks at me. "I didn't see the conclusion of the last war firsthand, but we all felt the aftermath. I suspect that the Grail we fight for now isn't the one I helped create."

Field too long, so gonna be posting this in another post, but rest assured
>ShirouTinfoilHat.jpg
incoming.

>>24374572
>They were pale and lifeless, but then suddenly they took shape and left me behind.

...This could easily be where Avenger came from. Zouken salvages 4th Grail fragments, planning on doing MAGIC to them. 5th Grail starts to reappear earlier than scheduled due to fuckery; reconnection to Angra Mainyu awakens the 4th Grail fragments, which come together in the form of Avenger. Said avatar of Angra Mainyu goes off to try and grease the wheels so that the Grailbound version of himself is able to incarnate properly this time.

This also explains him calling us Brother in an even more literal fashion, considering that the 4th Grail he was 'born' from was Iri, and Ilya is our sister. (Or in a more conceptual sense, that we were both 'born' of the disaster in the wake of the 4th Grail War.)

Obviously 100% speculation, but hey, it's interesting to consider.

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>>24374601
Balls. That makes entirely too much sense.

Archive?

>>24374539
Wait, who is the man in that relationship again?

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>>24374744
Daddy is!

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>>24374756
You again?

Did AC guy died?

>>24374857
No, his laptop did.