Link to first thread: >>24340407That's it, I can't wait any longer /tg/. For those who may not know, the Emperors Mourning started off as a run-of-the-mill Chapter Creation thread, and blossomed into something so much more.Possibly descended from the Alpha Legion, they were created in the Cursed 21st Founding, leaving them with a rather unique power and a damage Occulobe. They are able to witness the true nature and character of any they gaze upon within close contact, the Occulobe implants have damaged the Marines eyes slightly, making them constantly cry. This has lead to the another Chapter where /tg/ get's shit done.Our figure of legend was the Master of Sanctity, Brother Jeremiah, who witnessed the potential of a Chaos cultist during an attack, the hope and possibility that he saw within, which had been squandered for petty things, would have blazed against the darkness of the Galaxy and given humanity another chance. It was in this revelation that he wept tears of fire and destroyed the Chaotic hordes that had all but decimated the Chapter.I'll post the writefag in a sec, pic related isn't our colour scheme at the moment, it was just something I was working on. Also, tripfagging.
It was said that during his lifetime he was once given the esteemed honour of being admitted entrance into the Sanctum Imperialis, the chamber containing the almighty Golden Throne which housed the remains of the God-Emperor.It was during this brief visit that he bore witness to the true nature of the Emperor, all of his divine plan and the miniscule workings of all of his plans. It was during this vision of complete and utter purity that the Silent Arbiter realised the unending war was not for naught and it would eventually culminate in the salvation of the Imperium and the human race. It was said that the Weeping Prophet shed tears as he was blessed with this divine revelation.During a gruesome campaign against the forces of Chaos, when the fighting was at its most intense, when losses were many and victories were few, the Arbiter and a few trusted Marines made a desperate last push in order to break out of the situation they had found themselves in.Calling on the divine might of the Emperor, but to little avail, Jeremiah watched as his fellow Battle-Brothers were cut down beside him by the forces of the Archenemy. Against overwhelming odds he fought onwards, taking injuries that would have outright killed lesser men, even fellow Marines. Scores of enemies fell under his righteous fury as he carved a bloody swathe of justice through the enemies. After receiving multiple fatal wounds he finally succumbed and fell to his knees.1/3
The forces of Chaos circled around the broken Arbiter, jeering and ridiculing the Marine. Jeremiah looked through hazy eyes and spat blood at the ground as he watched a lone figure emerge from the throng, clutching a knife oozing with foul enchantments and curses.As Jeremiah focused on the cultist in front of him, he witnessed the true nature of the being in front of him, a tiny spark of white light, almost completely concealed by years of hatred, thousands of acts of heresy and corruption. Jeremiah’s eyes cleared from the haze that had overcome him, perceiving the events that may have come to pass. He saw the small light burst into a flame to rival a thousand suns, a truly dazzling beacon of hope against the unstoppable sea of darkness, and it was in this fiery pillar that complete salvation may have been achieved, the absolution of every man, woman and child in the Galaxy and the survival of humanity.Alas, this divine gift, a literal boon from the Emperor had been squandered, merely to fulfil some petty weakness, frittered away to liars and criminals.2/3
It was at this revelation that Jeremiah began to weep, no longer tears of sorrow, nor tears of happiness, but tears of anger, grief, anguish and pain. The tears started as liquid, but as the visions he had seen struck him more deeply the tears turned to holy fire. Blue and white streaks poured from the Prophets eyes, the forces of Chaos recoiled in horror as the Silent Arbiter rose up from the ground, ignoring all previous injuries and grasped the cultist with both arms, as if embracing a lost son. Jeremiah grasped the cultists shoulders and looked deeply into the cultists eyes, who was unable to draw his vision away from the pious fury he had unleashed.“Gaze into my eyes heretic, and see your mistakes.” The voice left the Prophets mouth as a mere whisper, but amplified tenfold around the surrounding Chaos hordes.“Weep”. His final words purified the enemies in a sea of devout wrath. Cultists were instantly incinerated and demons were sent screaming back to the Warp.As the battle subsided, the remaining Marines left their positions to find their beloved Master of Sanctity. As they waded through the corpses left behind they came across a single figure, kneeling in penitence, clutching a single skull. It was when they went to help him up they realised the Emperors blessing had unforeseen circumstances. Jeremiah’s eyes now glowed as a white hot flame, the fire that had rolled down his face earlier had scorched him beyond belief, scarring his cheeks and sealing his mouth shut. Brother Jeremiah was henceforth known as the Silent Arbiter, the Weeping Prophet.3/3
We still need to come up with a definite colour scheme, a Chapter logo, more fluff and just general /tg/ awesomeness.Our Master of Sanctity was supposed to have looked at the Emperor once and realised his plans, and realising that against him all else was darkness. I might change this into another figure of legend, our Chaplain or some such rank and writefag it later.
Sounds Black Templar-ish, with the whole champion of the emperor schtick
>>24354413Well we may or may not be descended from the Alpha Legion, so technically Alpharius/Omegon.However, we still revere the big E more than anyone.
A bit more information from the first thread:We prefer close combat fighting, so our ability can be utilised properly.We're fleet based, overstrength due to the massive amount of naval personnel.We recruit anyone we deem to be worthy, the body can be moulded and trained, the soul cannot.The majority of our Brothers wield jump-packs, if only to get to the enemy quicker.
Being able to see into souls seems like something only part of the chapter could do, you can't just give it to every battle brother there.Obviously all the marines have the faulty eye thing, so they're crying all the time, only the ones with physic abilities can go full Ghostrider and judge people based on their actions
>>24354505Sounds good, so all the Battle Brothers get weepy all the time, and the psykers can see into peoples souls?I'm thinking that only the most venerable Brothers have the cooler abilities, like seeing peoples true natures and their actions to come. Hopefully this will all fall into place if we can get some more stuff fluffed out.
Perhaps starting this in the morning wasn't such a good idea.I'll let this thread casually move to the back pages, and then revive it when the time comes.
>>24354607I was around for the first thread OP, but its really quiet so I agree, bump it later on
Pretty lame chapter with a weak theme. The idea that they alone know the Emperor's true motives is especially dumb. Not one of /tg/'s better ones.
>>24354976But the Marines don't, only the Chaplain does at the moment, this might change tho.
>>24355020Even then, that's problematic. He'd politically be the single most powerful marine in the Imperium and off the richter scale in Sue terms.And his revelation needs a re-write. It just comes out of nowhere for no reason. He needs to undergo some trial to keep it Saintly. Having him fight Chaos one moment, THEN SUDDENLY LASER EYES is kinda retarded. Clumsy name too. Mourning Sons is more thematic and rolls more smoothly off the tongue.
>>24355087this guy knows what he is talking aboutbut again, this is homebrew /tg/ chapter so it doesnt really matter what they are, they are going to be forgotten if they are not ground breaking like angry marines
>>24355087Mourning Sons sounds good, as for the whole laser eyes thing, what would you suggest?Personally, I loved the idea that an anon had yesterday which turned into the story, where he beheld some pitiful worm who had true potential, but instead wasted it on Chaos.
>>24355148Should we just revert it back to the grimdark, 'the Chapter see's what the Galaxy is really like, and weeps'?
>>24355148Okay, here's what I'd change.Mourning Sons is a great name I feel. Someone raised the theme of hope with them being the 999th chapter. The rising sun that comes before redemption. That's great. It meshes well with the name and gives them a theme of doomed optimism. They embody the Emperor's vision for a world free from Chaos. They are the Silver Lining within the eye of terror. They grieve for the current state of the world and rather than burning with righteous fury at the forces of Chaos they a more melancholy, seeing them with pity and that by purging them they are in a grim sense saving them.Boom, there's your conflict. Hope in a hopeless universe. Like Tau, but Saintly rather than pragmatic and utilitarian. And for the love of God drop, the 'always crying' gimmick. It's REALLY stupid. A cultist is more likely to shit himself laughing at the sight of a marine who can't stop crying then fear him. Make crying eyes their chapter symbol. Don't overdo it with special snowflake genetics.
>>24355148>>24355246As for Brother Ghost Rider, he needs a spiritual journey. Can't just have him go Super Saiyan through battle. As to what exactly that journey should be I'm not so sure, but that's the problem.
Using the psychic power through the eyes damages them slightly, all the psychic marines can have the power, but it's overuse will slowly turn you blind until your eyes have to be outright replaced with bionics and you can't use the powers through your eyes anymore.Perhaps the chapter master is still dying from his injuries and had to be put in stasis, or die from his mortal wounds.Maybe put restrictions on warp travel, seriously think about the implications of seeing the true nature of the warp.When the eyes judge your nature, you are aware of the verdict, and for some who aren't true heretics, the clash of faith within themselves will damage/paralyze them.It pits your mind against itself and there is a chance that a once loyal guardsman will be outright converted and with this power, with the guilty ones wracked with the pain of their old loyalties fighting against their new ones.Winner take all battle of faith within their own head
>>24355246OK, so from outright crying and weeping we've gone to grieving the loss of people to Chaos. Not bad.So, as for the whole 'staring into peoples souls', should we grimdark it up or try and fluff it out a bit more?
>>24355343maybe just eyes that are very sensitive to movement etc. like they can tell if someone is lying just by looking at them. Something like that anyway.
Hey, how's this for a color scheme?
>>24355384it's a messy miss match of colours and I don't like it
>>24355384Not bad, but I know someone did a bronze colour scheme last thread, and I've obviously done a purple one.I think we're gonna have to try and sort out all of this eye-shit, which direction we'll take the Marines in, and then figure out the colours.
>>24355384I dunno man, the grey is a little much, but I think that light blue and bronze is the way to go.
>>24355343I'd keep the eye thematic to chapter symbols and heraldry rather than genetic powers they all have. You can still have the chapter masters and librarians have an ability where their gaze has an intimidating psychic effect that makes the enemy lose morale and accept penance. The idea of the entire chapter;s battle doctrine being that they rush into the faces of the enemy to look into their eyes is a little too silly.
>>24355384That's pretty terrible bro
>>24355467well there's silly and there's silly
>>24355481Good point, we're not Ghost Rider Marines after all.So our Occulobe is slight faulty, meaning we pick up on smaller details more so than other Chapters. We can see when people are lying, and we make great poker players.Librarians use this in tandem with their psychic powers to achieve some kind of understanding of the persons soul (?) and are able to discern their true nature.As for our Master of Sanctity, we have to keep him as the Weeping Prophet, it's just too cool to pass up. However, the circumstances of his deed of legend can change.Ideas?
I think gold and bronze for the terminator armour/first company, we can allways do the rest of the chapter different, but I like the idea of bronze armour
You could do something along the lines of that chapter mentioned in the chaos dex (forget the name) who could hear every lie spoken. It is cursed founding after all, weird shit is possible.
>>24355502And the chapter master does everything he can to keep the inquisition unaware of this because possible HERESY?
>>24355557We're fleet based, so we try to stay away from the majority of the Imperium
>>24355529I like that, I think it would look good for power armour too
So is there anything more to the alpha legion geneseed idea? What specific traits would carry over from that?
>>24355607This detail confused me as well. What does it add to the mix exactly?
>>24355623basically at the start everyone latched on to it when it was time to pick a founding chapter, absolutely pointless if you ask me. I prefer the more unknown but heavily implied idea for a traitor legion successor chapter, nothing with these guys really fits with Alpha legion, more like word bearers
>>24355529What if they actually just painted their armor to fit the terrain the would be fighting in?
>>24355554The Scourged?We've essentially got to be a Loyalist version of them, we can hear every lie but it was a gift from the EMPRAH not Tzeentch, so we don't go batshit insane straight away.
>>24355747camouflage is for the weak and the fearful.
ok i've done a marine in the bronze and gold scheme
>>24355770Is the Hammer of the Emperor weak and fearful?
Let's stick with the full Ghostrider/flaming eyes thing, in fact that could be our mutation.As we're descended from the Alpha Legion no one believes we have this power, so the Inquisition just don't care.
>>24355847That makes zero sense.
>>24355861Well i'm out of ideas, looks like OP's gone for a nap as well.The first thread had awesome potential, we just need to refine it into something great.So we're just really Melancholy Marines, who grieve at what everything has become?
bumpin for hopeful interest
>>24354372Sounds and looks much more like EC descendants. Their armour has a similar colour scheme, they have "Emperor's" in the name, their figure of legend was a Master of Sanctity, which seems to match up well with the EC being that they were obsessed with being perfect, and crying seems like something ancient heroes of legend did a lot.
>>24355268>>24355292Could be the Chapter Master is in stasis to prevent his death, or he's simply gone missing, left because of some realization or personal quest.>>24355847>>24355756>>24355647I don't understand the relation to Alpha Legion either. Perhaps Alphas sew lies and Mourning Sons seek them out, their constant duty to unravel their plans?
>>24356974Interesting dynamic there, actually.The ultimate deceivers, to the point that they may be deceiving themselves three-times over, against a splintered remnant that can see through the deceptions and feints they rely upon so much.
Colors and names reminds me of Emperors Nightmares. I'm too lazy to check if that was intentional or not.
Right time to raise the dead.Basically we've gone from constantly crying Marines to stoicly grieving the loss of Humanity to the forces of Chaos.We still need logos and a solid colour scheme, our entire basis of the Chapter being founded from the Alpha legion also needs some background.Calling all fa/tg/uys.
I really hope we keep the "Crying eyes" Thing. I don't think of it as a literal cry, but more like a constant stream of fluid from the eyes. There's been a lot more ridiculous shit in space marine's then this.
>crying space marines>crying angels of death>weeping angels of death>weeping angelsmfw
>>24358185Yeh but we can't just rip that name off straight away, can we?
>>24355343I still say that we had a good set of ideas in the previous thread. Have it fluffed as such: Our eyes are very sensitive. The initiates and fresh recruits can see the outer surface of things very well, they can read enemies' tells and see their body language shifting in combat to out reflex them.Have our more experienced guys take that a step further, and at close range, be able to read the enemies' souls, chastising them for their failure, weeping for what might have been, and getting angry at the wasted potential they see.
>See's the futureSOUNDS LIKE THE CORRUPTION OF TZEENTCH TO ME
>>24358185That is why we must keep the mutation.The helmets of their armour would have line drawn from the eye panels to symbolize the tears on them, they could be colored differently to identify company number.
>>24357884Background: The High Lords and Mechanicus still retain gene seed samples from all legions, traitor and loyalist, from before the heresy. This much is known. The Alpha Legion is all about trickery, lies, and deceit. We, the Emperor's Mourning/Mourning Sons (i actually like that second one a lot, it flows better), are the opposite of the Alpha Legion. We don't see into the future or anything, like other anons have suggested, but we are gifted with the ability to pierce deception like no other. Unfortunately, we live in a UNIVERSE of deception, and it wears on all our boy's souls. To understand the Alpha Legion and adapt to their tricks, we were made from the Alpha Legion. To avoid their failures, the Emperor blessed us with a special gift. However, the hydra has endless heads, and we are forever doomed to grapple with their heresy across the stars, all the while wading through the countless heresies of Man.
>>24358369Also as part of our 21st founding curse, I suggest that we be constantly dogged by the forces of Tzeentch, who test themselves against us as much out of hatred that we pull away their veils of lies as out of the hope that they might finally be the ones to trick us. We are the antivirus software, they are the program constantly seeking to overcome our defenses.
>>24358369I don't see anything wrong with this
>>24358058Exactly. The eyes weep at what they must witness, but the Marine himself is not blubbering all over everything. After all, never forget that there was a chapter of Space Marines that was named the Rainbow Warriors, or that there are marines which breathe fire (flame lords), or that are actually Ghost Rider (Legion of the Damned).
>>24355756We don't "hear" anything. We can only pierce the veil of deception up close and personal, by looking into our enemy's eyes as we kill him. From that moment however, we can extract much intel.
>>24355565Yes, and I would add to that that we dwell in the Segmentum Pacificus, at the current time trying to unravel the Night of a Thousand Rebellions, which has our Alpha Legion nemeses written all over it. Also the Pacificus is a poorly fluffed segmentum, and everyone and their dog lives in Ultima already. Also keeps us way the fuck away from the Ultramehreens and thats always good.
>>24358420And literal werewolves and vampire marine's.But anyway, can I suggest a sort of glassy skin as well? Living in a space ship certainly can't be good on the complexion
>>24355246Tears slowly and constantly run from their eyes, leaving the tear-trails we are known for in our iconography, they don't wail their heads off all the time. 999th Chapter was my idea, I'm glad you liked it! I thought it added a lot to the story with the numerology. And yes, hope in a hopeless universe is a theme I think would be very good. 21st Founding chapter curse: The only good men left in an unending ocean of shit, blessed with sight, cursed by what they see, forever lamenting the unforgivable wastes of the Imperial potential.
>>24358499We went with reflective eye lenses in the earlier thread, so that our enemies see their reflections as they die. It works really well with the Alphas being our prime enemies, so that all they see is their deceptions coming home and crumbling as their life is strangled from them.
>>24358520I just don't think the constantly leaking fluid from their eyes is that practical, especially for a chapter that has very good eyesight. I'm not opposed to tears occasionally, I just don't think all the time is the way to go.also are we any closer to reaching some sort of agreement on a colour scheme for them?
Glad to see the activity has picked up :)So we have a location, and some reasoning to the Alpha Legion founding, which is always good.We seem to be agreed on the leaking eyes, lets face it we have to keep them. Could we get some names, campaigns or fights we've been in, I'll do my best to fluff out some stuff but I'm running low on imagination here.>>24358556Why don't we just get a third eyelid to stop our eyesight from playing up all the time?
>eyes constantly leak tears.>Fleet based.The Serfs and Servitors must be well trained at cleaning up fluid
>>24358613some sort of power mop?>>24358602how would that help
>>24355087Man, how about you actually read the previous thread and think critically for a moment? We saw the Emperor's love and desire for mankind to be happy and healthy, not every detail of his plans. We saw that this Imperium is not what he would have wanted it to be, and we are cursed/blessed with that knowledge. It's not political power, dumbass, if anything, it's a liability because it makes our marines want to buck the system and make things better. Who else thought along those lines? The Soul Drinkers. What did it get them? DEAD. Can we do better? Maybe? Right now we're just trying to use our gift and fight lies and deceptions wherever we can, spreading truth wherever we can, and reminding people through our God-Emperor-blessed connection to Him that he does love them all, and that things can be better if we remain true to the Emperor and Humanity.Also people that sling around the word Sue in these days where the word means nothing more than "i don't like your ideas, let me label them for you", is nothing short of completely unhelpful. GTFO.
>>24358556Well, we could always have the tears increase in response to the amount of lies they're seeing. Never to a huge level, like anime style or what have you, but they get more and less in volume at different times. On their fleet, they might not cry at all, because among this chapter, there are no lies. Anyone who does is caught and chastised for his moral failing, seeking to hide from the truth to protect himself.Seriously you guys, they have armored helmets and shit to help them evaporate/clean tears. TEARS DO NOT FILL GODDAMNED RIVERS THIS IS NOT ANIME.
>>24358640Don't even go for a third eyelid, just say that our mutated eyes require more moisture than normal to work PROPERLY. Having more liquid around is in fact necessary for their function, to keep the enhanced eyeballs from drying out due to advanced biology or whatever that gave them their ocular powers. It doesn't blur our vision.
>>24357360Yeah, this is basically the part that underlies the whole chapter. Our foundation is that we can see through what others cannot, but it's not typically pleasant to see the corruption within.
>>24358722SCIENCE! I like this, it explains everything quite nicely.
>>24355529I like bronze as the base color with gold trim. I might also suggest a dark green patina color on the pads/gauntlets/greaves, like the Statue of Liberty. One cannot stare into the enemy's corruption without some damage to oneself as well. Even the best copper will tarnish over time. Perhaps something eventually happens to our eldest warriors. They have the most experience seeing the truth, terrible or otherwise, behind all things, but this also leaves them unable to see life as the rest of us see it. For example, one of our Company Captains might have attacked an Inquisitor or other high ranking imperial. To everyone else, he seemed a paragon of Imperial Justice, but our Captain saw the moral corruption (not demonic or anything, just regular old human failings), and so killed him on sight in rage. The Inquisitor's sins eventually came out in public, and the Captain was exonerated, but it didn't exactly come off as a PR win for our chapter. Indeed, it made others less likely to deal with us, because everyone knows that they are guilty of SOME sin, and fears that we might reveal it.
>>24358862>writefag scenarioAnd what, perchance, was this Captains name?
>>24358925Random name generator time! Nikolai LeBlanc(anyone has anything better, I'm all ears. It's hard to name things without treading used up ground.)
>>24358862How did the chapter survive without getting completely executed on grounds of heresy?
>>24358925so far we've got someone called Jeremiah, maybe more similar sounding names? that being said we recruit from pretty much anywhere so there could be quite an eclectic collection of names
My face when 40k.Fr rls.
>>24359031another inquisitor with a grudge against the deceased pulling strings behind the scenes to delay any backlash?>>24359045you what?
>>24359031We were able to prove that the Inquisitor was actually a complete scumsack. Under normal circumstances, things would have gone terribly. As it stands, things went somewhat badly, but we were able to use our position as Astartes to at least get time to present our case, which was upheld.
>>24359045teh faq u on m8?
>>24359031They dressed up as the Space Yiffs when they did it.
>>24359031The Inquisitor himself was heretical in some fashion. Not demonic, but still unforgivably anti-imperial. A good comparison to the type of crime might be Kryptman's anti Tyranid cordon. Yes, it slowed the Tyranids, kinda, but he also blew up a bunch of Imperial planets and resources, and that is the same thing as attacking the Emperor himself.
>>24359063This is also a possibility. Perhaps the supposed paragon of imperial justice we saw through had stepped on another Inquisitor for his own gain, to the detriment of others. As such, this other inquisitor wanted to help us bring his enemy to (deserved) justice.
First up, I think we're all in agreement about the Mourning Sons right?Having a faulty Occulobe means we have to produce more tears in order for the eyes to function properly, and as such it gives us the appearance of crying.Another mutation in the Occulobe gives us the ability to perceive things more naturally, the most basic Sons can tell when people are lying and read body language, which helps them to great effect in combat.The more senior can look even deeper, and see the heresy in someones soul. The recruiters are often some of the oldest marines in the Chapter, they are able to see whether a possible recruit has the moral fibre to withstand becoming a Space Marine, the training comes next.We've got our Brother Jeremiah, I think the tears of fire thing is pretty damn cool, and our nameless Company Master slaying a possible rogue Inquisitor makes for some fun times with the Imperium.
>>24359308I think this is a pretty good summary, yes. I also am in favor of the Mourning Sons, 999th chapter of the Imperium.
>>24355115Angry marines aren't groundbreaking, they just appeal to the douchebags that like to yell during game time.
>>24359308Killing a rogue (but publicly above reproach) inquisitor could be a large part of the reason why we decided to move our fleet to a relatively unknown fringe of the Imperium (for a while), the Segmentum Pacifica.
>>24359452Cool, so we've got an Inquisitor who undermind the acts of, or removed from office, another Inquisitor, just to get ahead in standing.Let's say he wanted to become one of the head honchos in the sector, Inquisitor #2 opposed him (#2 is currently very effective at a certain type of heretic-slaying), #1 pulled some strings and got #2 removed, causing the massive rise of cults all over the planet due to the replacement Inquisitor being shit at controlling the populace.During the ousting of #2, our Company Captain met with #1 and saw his real plans, which were to rise said Chaos cults and turn himself over to Chaos. >We kill '1 Inquisitor>Chaos cults spring up over the planet>Inquisition wants to execute us, however they just send us down to the planet>Brother Jeremiah's story happens>The Inquisition realise that this was #1's plan all along>No punishments for the Marines, but sent on a Penance Crusade - which explains the fleet in the Segmentum PacificaWhat do you think?
Mourning colours are tradionally black, grey and purple.We need some kind of mix, without going to overboard, but with some light colours thrown in around the eye area to bring us back to the soul-sight thing.
>>24359620We are indeed a crusading chapter. This seems like a good way to tie into that. Also, catching that Inquisitor would be a good way to convince onlookers that we're not making shit up about our abilities and what we see. This could have been one of our founding events, actually, right after our official Founding. This is the event that showed us what our gene-sees was capable of, but we've essentially been cursed to near-perpetual exile aboard our fleet for being right.
>>24359690Something like this?
>>24358520so are they allied with the tau?
ok, these are all the schemes we've come up with so far in this thread, maybe pick which one we want to use as a base and just tweak it more?
>>24360022No, we aren't located anywhere near the Tau. Also, the Tau and their Greater Good are just as much bullshit as anything else. If we got near an Ethereal and saw what they did to their own people in the name of justice, we would likely hate them just as much as Chaos.also, we're still Space Marines. We're not going to be any more tolerant of xenos because of our abilities.
>>24359690Purple Pauldron, black edges, and gray armour with a rust brown aquila?
>>24360051I like 3 the most of those.
>>24360051#2 was pretty heavily disliked earlier. I made #4, but not enough people have given feedback for me to justify voting for myself. #3 is ok, i like the tabard. Maybe add a purple cloak to that as well, and darken the gold a little bit. fix the trim in between the exhaust and the main backpack and make it black. Perhaps add a little bit of purple to the armor trim, like on the gorget or something.
>>24360051#1 is too much like the Emperors Children#2 looks to faggoty, and not dark enough#3 looks pretty good. Could be darker though#4 is terrible and bland
>>243600664 with 1's pauldrons. and 3's tabard and aquila,
So it's an entire chapter of dark and edgy Mary-Sues? I expected better from you, /tg/.
>>24360192Well arent you helpful. Everything in 40k is grimdark, first off. This chapter is cursed with having to see exactly how grimdark it is, and eternally struggling to make things better in a setting that actively tries to crush those that do so. Also, Mary-Sue is just a label used by guys who have no argument, but want to tar an idea with a hateful label. GTFO.
>>24360192Have you actually read the thread? We're more like Space Jehova's Witness.
>>24360239for some reason I thought more space Amish
>>24360227 >>24360239You're not supposed to respond to bait.
>>24360227>This chapter is cursed with having to see exactly how grimdark it is, and eternally struggling to make things better in a setting that actively tries to crush those that do so. We already have the Knights Inductor, thanks.
>>24360260Yeah, I was just bored. :)
>>24360290Isn't every Loyalist Chapter like this? The Knights Inductor are just reasonable marines cranked up to 11.
We also had three or four potential chapter symbols in the first thread
>>24360315By chance would you make the pauldrons the same as the tabard?
>>24360315Looks far too much like the Emperor's Nightmares.
>>24360315I don't like the bright gold under armour, that works for the gold though
>>24360051Ok, how about this one?
>>24360260I'm not even trolling, guys. This just smacks of special snowflake syndrome. From the OP alone we have:>Founded during the Cursed 21st>Possible successor of a traitor legion>CAN SEE INTO THE SOULS OF ANYONE THEY LOOK AT>Constantly cryingAnd of course, my personal favorite>Wept tears of fire while purging the hereticsAt first glance this just looks like something put together by a 2edgy4me highschooler, not the elegan/tg/entlemen./twocents
>>24360398a tabbard, a cape and a robe, I don't like that at all, scheme isn't terrible
>>24360398I like that one.
>>24360398I like the robes. Goes well with the "wandering seer" aspect of the chapter.
>>24360415Can See Into Souls: This is standard 40k Psykers, this chapter does it through their gene-seed. Perhaps the gene-seed was made with some psyker genetics. Constantly crying: Again, as with many people "reading" this thread, you seem to have confused a little leaking water with rivers of anime tears or emo kids blubbering all over themselves. Cursed 21st: Hey, it's an option. Deal with it. Tears of fire: Fire is a common motif for Imperial Saints and others blessed with divine Imperial powers. chillax bro. If you claim to be an elegant gentleman or whatever, then how about you help out instead of just bitch?
>>24360398I like the robes, but the black and grey armour is boring as hell.
>>24360315>>24360374Pauldrons + Tabard are now the same colour>>24360392Changes background armor to a darker colourOpinions?
>>24360568I like this.
>>24360568I'm not a big fan of how 'busy' the armour looks.Also tabbard or cape, not both
>>24360568This is good. Could you add a black robe so it looks like the tabard's not just kinda hanging out on its own? layering the colors would look good.
>>24360600This is 40k. Everything is busy and ornate as fuck. If we were actually trying to paint these guys IRL, we might have to change things around, but with digital coloring the requirements aren't as strict.
>>24360600You know what, I know exactly what you're getting at.I'll get rid of the numbers and the insig for now. Do we want tabard or cape?
>>24354410I'm late for this but I saw that no one corrected you. The Master of Sanctity is the head Chaplain of a Chapter.
>>24360676Many thanks, looks like I'll have to read up on the Chapter ranks again
>>24360713we superman now?
>>24360745Well, I personally would rather have robes. Given he choices OP presented, I picked cape.
>>24360778robes are a better choice than a cape, only reason i've not done any wearing them is because I diddn't want to hide the armour colour. Would probably look better though.
>>24354372ALL THESE EDGES
we robes now
So guys, what if we keep the thing of tears slowly and constantly streaming from their eyes but somehow reason it to be that it only occurs in battle? Maybe physical activity sets it off or something but it gives the impression of them weeping when fighting heretics, etc.Also, what if the whole seeing-into-your-soul, weeping tears of fire stuff is reserved for one character of legend, an old Chapter Master perhaps, who then went off on a solitary journey. That way we keep the cool story to characterise the chapter but avoid being too Mary-Sue about it.
>>24360823How about this? You can still see the gold/bronze armor color, and there's no superman cape. Layering the robe colors breaks up the uniformity of the color blocks, but keeps the "prophet robes" look.
>>24360893Only the Master of Sanctity was powerful enough to weep tears of fire. He's the one who met the Emperor and spread the new vision. The chapter always has moist eyes, and it gets worse as their eyes receive more and more heresy bombarding them from the souls of the unfaithful.
>>24360893>what if the whole seeing-into-your-soul, weeping tears of fire stuff is reserved for one character of legend, an old Chapter Master perhaps, who then went off on a solitary journey. That way we keep the cool story to characterise the chapter but avoid being too Mary-Sue about it.agree 100%
>>24360893Yes, it was only ever one person who went MAXIMUM OVER TEAR with the flame. This has always been the case.
>>24360924Solitary journey? Sounds like the Primarchs all over again.Let's make Jeremiah blind except for when he's in battle, then his eyes burst aflame and yadayadayada.The rest of the time he'll just be a blind monk/hermit within the Fleet, giving advice to all who need it.
>>24360874>>24360894Either of these is pretty good.
>>24360944Yes, but make it a more ancient story. A chapter legend rather than a character in living memory.
>>24360959what biblical name can we borrow for that, Joseph, Jonah, something like that
>>24360959Yeah, again, that is the general thread consensus. This is omething that happened right after our founding, before we really understood the nature of our gene seed. The Master of Sanctity is who showed us the new way, proved to us that we weren't just seeing things, and then saved our chapter from destruction in our darkest hour with his fire tears and so on. He then left the chapter to wander the galaxy crusading on his own or something. Also, his name is Jeremiah, the Weeping Prophet, pursuant to the previous thread.
>>24360988Oh. Sweet. I didn't realise he had gone on a spiritual crusade by himself as well.
>>24361001Well, I added that part myself, because it made sense with the fluff. Also it gets dumbasses who can't read off all our backs because they don't understand that not everyone in this chapter has Super Saiyan eyeballs. Plus, the 21st founding was quite a while ago, so having this marine remain as a living person with the chapter would be extreeeeemely unlikely. He might as well be a wandering legend.
>>24360988Sounds good, are we in agreement with the whole Inquisition thing I posted earlier as well?If so, we'll keep Jeremiah's flaming eyes in the ensuing Chaos battle and then he'll depart, either to try and find truly blessed individuals who have a chance of turning the Imperium around, or trying to hunt down the one that converted the cultist in the first place.
>>24361031Yeah, go with that.
>>24360823>>24360874>>24360894These right here are perfect
According to google and the internet (that ever reliable source)"Vördr" Are wardens or spirits who guide souls through life, from norse mythology.Think we can incorporate that word anywhere? Honour guard or the title given to old veterans ect ect?It sounds cool and fits with the soul seers thing
>>24361122Well, we're not a norse themed chapter, nor are we prophets. We don't see the future, we see the present more clearly than others. That said, Vordr and the whole soul warden thing (divorced from their mythological origins) is ok. Maybe that could be our veterans' names, because they're the ones who can actually see into souls thanks to age and experience.
>>24361122They can be the Honour guard. Now what do we want to do about our Chapter master? Would it be out of order to suggest two Chapter masters? They both sort of act like balancing weights to each other to prevent any possible corruption of chaos.
>>24361204No, one chapter master is ok. The veterans, chaplains, and the chapter master can all police themselves. we don't want to veer too far away from the norm, since our organization is already deviant, as we lack devastator marines, using assault and tactical marines almost exclusively.
>>24361204since the marines can basically all sense corruption/weird shit with their funky eyes it doesn't seem necessary
>>24361268Every chapter I've seen /tg/ make has been lacking devastator marines. It's weird.
>>24361204>>24361268How about if our Master of Sanctity has a more senior role than most. Maybe the Chapter are more concerned with purity than most, since they're so good at detecting it? I imagine Chaplains would be able to judge someone with a glance.
>>24361296I think the Chaplains are gonna be the recruiters.Someone mentioned in the last thread that a persons moral fibre can never be trained, but their body can. So we basically recruit anyone who we can see is pure enough.
>>24361397Yeah, we have somewhat more chaplains than normal, probably, and one of their duties is screening the extremely large number of potential recruits for moral strength before we even consider letting them go through the other aspirant trials. Probably less than one percent meets our standards, so we have to use our fleet to travel the stars in order to get enough recruitment spots.
>>24361427i'm imagining several chaplain plus a small honor guard each all setting off in different directions to find pure new recruits then mass trials for everyone once they're back to the fleet
>>24361296I we want to have a slightly different twist, have the Chapter Master be the most senior Chaplain. Kind of like how the Blood Ravens promote librarians to high ranks. In this case, we want the most discerning among us to be the leader.
>>24361469Yeah, that could work. We have a large fleet anyway, have the crusade split up periodically to go to nearby worlds for recruiting, with a senior Chaplain at the head of each sub-fleet.
>>24361475Could have the Company Captains be chaplains as well. Each of them is personally responsible for scrutinizing their company's souls.
So clearly we'd most likely have a higher number strength than the typical 1,000.
>>24361527At most 1500, with most of the excess being the scouts that we're inevitably going to get killed proving their purity and strength. Too large of numbers and we'd never be able to survive the Inquisition or the accusations of faggotry from the peanut gallery. Also, we're not trying to replicate the Black Templars, we don't scatter everywhere for more than a short time.
>>24361527We're going to have loads of people looking after the fleet as well, we're probably on great terms with the Techpriests.
>>24361527yea probably, not massivly over since we don't get on well with (some of) the inquisition, I could see them chasing us up on that. somewhere in the region of around 1500 marines, since we're not really codex compliant maybe they act in relatively small 'cells' (somewhere around 30-50 marines) but for bigger engagements it's not uncommon to have 3-4 of them there.also; obviously the fleet has a large number of marines there all the time
>>24361573Well, we never did decide who our chapter is actually friends with. We're enemies of Chaos and traitors as a whole, and kinda sort of enemies to the Inquisition, but our friends could be the Mechanicus, who we let help us with our large fleet in exchange for us going to places and lending them our strength, as well as grabbing artifacts and shit for them in our travels.
>>24361608I see us being quite friendly with a sisters order, maybe combine this together with strong ties to the mechanicus with both groups
>>24361608They sound liek the sort of guys who might get on with the Dark Angels, but I don't know how the secretive nature of them would impact on their relationship. Also the Interrogator-Chaplains would be mad jelly of their natural abilities.
>>24361631Dark Angels seem like the last people they'd be all chummy with, DA are pretty mental about keeping their secrets
>>24361631Damn, yeah. We could actually be pretty good bros with the Dark Angels if we could convince them that our sight is telling us the truth. We would have to assume that nothing is powerful enough to decode Luther's madness, cause that would kinda fuck canon, but IF we could convince them to trust us, possibly if we actually caught a Fallen and interrogated him, followed by just giving the info back to the DA's without making it public, that would be an interesting dynamic. DAs could teach us a lot.
>>24361667I wonder what would happen if one of our chaplains got ahold of a Fallen accidentally as part of an unrelated fight. We could find his secrets. Maybe if we actually respected the Dark Angel's privacy they would see us in a different light.
>>24361682they'd wipe us out for so much as seeing a fallen probably.theres no way we'd stand up to a fist founding chapter and their hordes of successors>>24361693no excuses, you see a fallen you die
>>24361682>>24361693Well, the DA have the secret that they've got a bunch of dudes that fell to Chaos. We have the secret that our progenitor chapter IS a Chaos legion. So yeah, don't ask don't tell policy seems like a good idea.
>>24361715hehehehe, brothers in secrecy.
Archived for posterity.
>>24361737no, i've got to draw a line here, this just reeks of special snowflake; we're the only chapter who know the dark angels super duper secret that they will (and do) kill to protect, but it's ok because we're secretly alpha legion stock. It's too much for me
>>24361771its a joke, bro. sorry, i guess i forgot my /sarcasm/ tag. chillax.
Our chapter will never befriend the DA'sbecause none of this is real
Moving on, then. What else do we need to decide on for this chapter?
>>2436180840k isn't real bro. Hate to break it to ya.
>>24361845We could use a war cry, and possibly what we do to make our modified jump packs.
>>24361845We also are in dire need of a writefag or two to fluff some of this out.
>>24361875if it doesn't include the phrase tears in the rain i'll be sorely disappointed
>>24361991"We wash away sin, like tears in the rain"?
>>24361986I know OP was going to work on the writefagging for the whole inquisition/jeremiah story, I'm sure he'll do some other stuff about the marines just using their ability.>40k poker game
>>24362037A group of our chaplains playing poker, all fully aware of what each other's deceptions are, yet trying to hide their cards and make bluffs. This is one of the many ways our chaplains train with each other. If one of them succumbs to deceptions of others, then it means he needs more training. And owes the others a beer.
>>24361845Also, have we even come close to deciding what color scheme and armor styling we want for our chapter, or at least have like a top 2 or something?
How about "We weep for the heretic! and Drown out the enemy like rain" Also I have an idea for some writefagging that I'll put down once I get to my proper writing device.
>>24362082"For every treason, a heretic dead! For every wasted life, a tear is shed!"
>>24362080I was under the impression that these were the one's most liked so far.>>24360823>>24360874>>24360894
>>24362132This is awesome.
>>24362132Very nice. Very, Very nice.
>>2436213250% skullfucking, 50% lamenting the grimdarkness of the world. Excellent.
>>24362147All right. In that case, I vote for the third one you posted. Not many chapters use heavy robes, so it might be a cool way to distinguish our overall look in a relatively subtle way.
>>24362132wow, this.As a point, different chaplains might have different battle cries, but I see that as definitely the main one>>24362172that's how we roll 50% sad 50% "i'll cave you fucking face in with a brick, heretic scum"
>>24362147I like the second one the best out of those.
Hey OP, if you're still watching, you might wanna archive this thread, it's getting towards max length.
>>24362147I say second, 3 might work if we ditch the loincloth/tabbard combo, it just looks weird
>>24362212I liked the layered look making that purple stripe, but sure, we can ditch the extra piece of cloth in front.
>>24362212Try this, then.
>>24362306tone down the tabbard so it's slightly greyer and i'm sold
>>24362343Darker, you mean?
>>24362385maybe something more like this
>>24362474Purple looks kind of washed out, and i'm not a fan of that but overall that's ok.
>>24360874I prefer this, just stick a grey tabbard on and call it a day
Well, looks like this thread has about wound down. OP, you anywhere around?
Also, for everyone following this thread, be sure to upvote it on suptg. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/24354372/
>They are able to witness the true nature and character of any they gaze upon within close contactNo explanation besides warp taintPurged
>>24363693And then a rival Inqusitor swoops in offering them amnesty, vouching for them....So they can be his and his allies personal chapter.
>>24363719>Chapter made into an inquisitors personal bitch to avoid being purged>thinks its better than being purged
>>24363752that's why "accidents" happen
>>24363719Personal chapter, no. Friends, yes.
>>24363719And the first inquisitor who is the seconds rival just gives up right? Even though he truly believes that the chapter is a blaspheme against the emperor?
>>24363848The first inquisitor is DEAD, dumbass. try reading the rest of the thread first.
>>24363874i'm sorry i just can't take SNOWFLAKE CHAPTER seriously If their mutation was somehow useful in combat sure it would be cool and the inq might not care to much.But it seems all they are doing is letting cultists off easy and wishing they were lamenters, there would be no saving them from the purge
>>24363964Are not all chapters snowflake chapters? Im just saying we got werewolves, vampires and deadly cyborgs. And that's just the loyalists.
>>2436396440k doesn't even take itself seriously, unless you're one of those 12 year old newfags who's all GREMDERK IZ SO KOOOL.
>>24363964IT IS USEFUL IN COMBATRead the damn thread.It lets them read body language to a far greater extent than other chapters, this would mean in close combat they can tell where an enemy will strike, how they will strike and if the attack is just a feint for another attack, and the chances are vets could tell what the feint would lead into, making the chapter incredibly good in close combat, not because of pure ferocity and zeal or excessive training in martial arts, but from simple reads of the enemy combatant and knowing from cold logic what will happen and how to counter it and deliver a killing blow. or even if the body language of an entire enemy firing line shows that this is just setting them up for an ambush or if the enemy line is expecting help from a flanking maneuver.
>>24364502I do appreciate knowing that there are some other people reading this thread. But, alas, this other guy is but a troll. We should add more to the thread, not get bogged down in debating some anon. Also, upvote in the suptg archive, plz.
>>24355246>And for the love of God drop, the 'always crying' gimmick. It's REALLY stupid.This.Not to mention the whole 'Alpha Legion geneseed', 'soul-reading' and '999th Chapter'. Subjective, yeah I know, but this particular homebrew reeks to me of trying-too-hard emo wankery. If this were an official Index Astartes published by GW, the Chapter would be a laughing stock on /tg/ and would be dubbed the Crybabies forever.
>>24364712What's wrong with being 999th chapter? it's just a number that we've attached some meaning to. And our chapter's thing is that they're perceptive. Eventually they get perceptive on a different, superhuman level. And it sucks, because from then on all they can see is the misery and suffering of the world, which causes them to rage hard from sheer grief. Alpha legion geneseed is something I still feel we could change, but I also like the idea of being a chapter founded for a purpose, that purpose being to fuck up the actual Alpha Legion. They don't always succeed, but at least they have a chance. No matter what, they're endlessly chasing hydra heads, and may be doing so forever. All they get is the ability to verify that there is in fact Alpha Legion presence, and only if they can get them into close combat.
>>24364712So literally drop everything that the contributers in the thread like? Well, the Alpha legion could be substituted for maybe Thousand sons or some shit. Given the Psyker sort of abilities.
>>24367708No, this guy's just being a troll cause he can. What we've made is no worse than anything else in the 40k universe, he's exaggerating for effect. We need to have the OP show up already to make a new thread with a good summary so people who don't have the attention span to read this one can see what's going on. If anything needs to be altered or whatever, it should be clearer what the starting point is and what is actually TRUE about the chapter at the moment. It is a rough draft, but people don't typically understand that on the internet.
>>24354372This chapter is fucking stupid. So are all you fags in here. Except me