>>24138862

There's a brief moment of surprise when they notice me selecting what I'll cook for dinner, but they calm quickly enough.

>You have about an hour before you need to cook dinner. Actions?

>>24138862
Check in with Caster. How goes the plans to move? Will she need our help in moving?

>>24138875
>>You have about an hour before you need to cook dinner. Actions?
Gloating is a bit too out of character, we're pretty near taped magically and we're going to have two separate war councils tomorrow, so we might as well not bother. Let's see if Taiga's alright. Maybe put the tora-shinai in her hands and see if physical exercise helps her cope.

>>24138989

>You aren't actually that tapped at the moment. You don't have huge reserves, but you've got maybe 25% of your power.

>>24138989
Dude, no nononnonono. Guess who she'd want to spar with? Taiga with Tora in hand is Gil level dangerous to Shirou.

Maybe check in on Satsuki?

>>24138875

Check in on caster and sochirou sensei.

Also apologise after that in private to saber for teasing her like that.

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>>24139020
Years of jRPGs has warped my thinking to the point that MP under 75% is near empty. And actually using items is like pulling teeth. I feel completely justified in calling us nearly tapped out.

>>24139132
That was the idea. We need training so that we never see DC 18 when fighting Gil ever again, and Saber's the only person on that level. Since she's too weirded out to provide, the solution is to get a certain someone with a favored weapon and Favored Enemy: Shirou, so that their total bonus is similar to Gil's overall powerlevel.

>>24139228
Fair enough, just seemed like you were willingly walking into a bad end for no reason.

>>24139132
will change my vote for check in on Sensei and Caster after the meal though

>>24138875
Talk to Taiga. Check on Satsuki. Quickly ask Caster if she knows of any way to locate a lost artefact.

>>24138875

Check in with caster.

>>24138875
Check on the Taiga. Maybe ask Sakura how she's feeling toward Shinji at the moment.

>>24138862
Check up Taiga

>>24138875
Definitely check on Taiga.

I take a moment to sit down with Taiga. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." She answers calmly. She hesitates and looks back at me. "Apparently I was in some kind of danger?"

"Yeah. You... you were kidnapped by a Vampire."

"Huh." There's a long pause. "It's weird. It doesn't bother me, but I think that's because I have a hard time believing it's real." She looks away, out towards the yard. "I mean, it's obviously real. I've seen you do... things. I guess Vampires aren't exactly a huge leap of faith all things considered."

"Yeah. Mages and such try not to advertise their presence, but a good part of why we're still hidden comes from people in general. Dad called it the 'line of sight' problem. People tend to ignore what they don't have to look at."

"I can see how that works." She answers with a sigh. "Honestly, I might be bothered more by all this when it has time to sink in. It's only been a few days since I found out you were trying to fight off an evil Genie with some sort of magic sword."

There's a long moment of silence. "Yeah, I think you should talk to Rin about the detail stuff." I say after a moment. "She's clearly better at explaining things. By a lot."

"... Thanks for saving me." She says after a moment. "Sorry. I just realized I never thanked you. It was probably really hard and dangerous. I think."

"Kinda." I respond, thinking back. "Less of an ordeal than I was afraid of." I smile as I stand up, and turn to her. "Besides, you don't have to worry about thanking me. I mean, we're practically family."

She smiles, and laughs. "Yeah. Looks like I might have to take the blame for your inability to deal with women. I haven't exactly been good at teaching you to say no."

We share a laugh, and I leave her to relax. She might have issues later, but if she isn't panicking now I should let her rest.

With plenty of time left before I need to cook, I decide to....

>?

>>24140332

Caster, Souchirou sensei and after that speak to saber as we exit the room.

>>24140378
Seconding this.

>>24140332
I want some sword training, so let's go talk to Saber.

>>24140332
Talk to Sakura, discuss Shinji. Go over the exchange we had with him at the docks.

>>24140332
Talk with the Caster's Room Ensemble.

>>24140332
Talk with Souchirou Sensei
>Case mamantu:...... not sure where your going with this captcha

>>24140332
Castah time.

>>24140378
This

>>24140332
Check in on Team Caster

>>24140332
Not like anyone really cares, but what happened to Shinji? Did he make himself into a distraction?

>>24141002
Gil grabbed him.

>>24141002
Presumable Gil recovered him, and judging by the fact that we didn't hear any of Shinji's girly-man screams he wasn't killed on the spot at least.

>>24141056

His golden dickness was too busy thinking about killing shirou and beating him to death with his corpse.

>>24141081

>A. U. O. CASTOFF.

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>>24141081
>>24141120
I still say that should be worked into a CP sometime.

>>24140427
I want to train with Saber too, but perhaps that should wait until after dinner.

As for right now, I'll vote for >>24140378, and ask Saber to train with us after dinner.

>>24141002
Gil grabbed him and made Shinji help him look for us. In the fortress of solitude we evaded their feeble attempts at detection.

I walk to Caster's room, and see her getting ready to leave. "Going somewhere?"

"Actually, yes." She responds. "I had a few ideas for possible bases, and I need to scout them."

"I see." I look between her and her Master. "Getting ready to move then?"

"Yes. No offense, but even if we decided to stay allied for some odd reason... I'd rather not have all our assets be in one location." She responds.

"... 'Even if we stayed allied'?"

"... Well, yes. We're still at war here. Even if we're working towards a mutually beneficial goal, only one of us can win and get our wish." She frowns slightly. "You can feel however you want about that, but the bare facts of the situation aren't going to change."

Souchirou-Sensei merely watches the conversation from where he's sitting with what I can only describe as polite interest.

>What say?

>>24141268

Why is this lancer so moe.

>>24141319
So you're not worried about the whole "sentient hate engine" thing that may have destroyed the entire purpose of this exercise?

>>24141319
"I expect Saber is going to have to stay regardless of what you choose to do. Not only is she competition for your wish--made on a sentient engine of hatred--but I don't think you can afford to feed her on a teacher's salary. Speaking of which, are you staying for dinner?"

>>24141425
>>24141469
Wait, do we actually KNOW the Grail is a sentient hate-engine yet, or is that just speculation based on our OOC knowledge?

>>24141469
Heh. This.

>>24141496
Well, AC-guy had shirou say it to bazzet even when I don't think we mentioned saying it, so I suppose we do know IC.

>>24141319
"I've said this before, but I don't have a wish I want granted, aside from getting everyone through this war alive. Well, everyone human, anyway."
And also this >>24141425

>>24141469
this

>>24141515
>>24141527
Huh. Fair enough.

We should also try to figure out what exactly her Wish is. We need to get it into her head that a romantic honeymoon in Hawaii could be arranged without the Grail, it'll just take more work.

>>24141329
She can't become an idol if she isn't moe. She even bathed in the blood of countless virgins to stay moe for her fans!
>>24141469
Say, weren't we going to play musical servants again tonight and return Rider to Sakura and give Saber to Rin (or Ilya for Excalibur spamming)?

>>24141527
Na, that implies we don't want to rescue the cute servants, too.

Plus, she's already rebutted that: Our harem/posse/whatever has wishes they want, so whether we want one or not is irrelevant.

>>24141527
Are you insinuating something against Arc and possibly Rider?

>>24141597
>Our harem/posse/whatever has wishes they want, so whether we want one or not is irrelevant.

Again, sentient hate engine. Some people might be ok with that if they get what they want, but its safe to assume that Saber and (probably) Rin aren't going to cause an apocalypse just to get what they want.

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>>24141591
Her wish is the same as Iskander's--physical incarnation, but with more husbando and less world domination.

>>24141665
And this is why we want good end.

That, and Sexy Librarian Rider.

>>24141594

Does she have an ending in CCC?

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>>24141876
But that's Sexy Housewife Rider.
THIS is Sexy Librarian Rider.
Note the glasses and simple turtleneck.

>>24141952
No, that was sexy housewife Caster.

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>>24141980
You're right. I'm a moron. Have some Sexy Wedding Rider to make up for it.

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>>24141952
Oh god don't surprise me like that.

My poor heart can't withstand cuteness of that magnitude.

>>24141924
Sadly Lancer doesn't get a route, even if you do temporarily get to use her as your Servant. I haven't played CCC, I just stalked /a/ for a few days. From what I remember, I think after she's your Servant for a bit she fades away, saying that she's either going to Venus to set up her new stage, or she's going to shine brighter than Venus on the stage.
And then Melty brings her back as a Berserker with E- Mad Enhancement for you to kill off. What the hell.

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>>24142053

HATE.

SO MUCH HATE.

There'd better be something after CCC, dammit.

"You're still in it for the win then? Despite the fact that the Grail is looking less like a wish granting device and more like a sentient Engine of hate?"

Caster hesitates. "What?"

"... I keep forgetting that I haven't shared every detail or spelled things out for people." I respond after a moment of hesitation. "But yeah, there's a lot of stuff going on that's weird. Starting with the fact that There's more servants than there should be and ending with the fact that Arcueid apparently didn't sense a Vampire like she thought."

Caster stares at me blankly. Souichirou-Sensei finally speaks up. "Your actions and words aren't consistent."

"How so?"

"You're talking about an end to the fighting and drawing lines, signing truces. You don't want the Grail? I thought it could grant any desire?"

"... I can't think of anything I want that I can't do without the Grail." I respond shaking my head. "I never had any desire in the war that wasn't getting the people I care about out alive."

"That's not true."

"You're saying I'm lieing?"

"No, it could be you're unaware of the truth." He responds with the same level tone he has for all his lectures. "The Grail selects the people who get command seals and summon servants. One from each of the founding families and four others, correct?" He looks to both me and Caster for confirmation. "If it's purpose is to grant a wish or serve as the basis for something else, why would it select someone who had no interest in it?"

"... But I don't have an interest in it...."

"Nothing? No great ambition? No regrets? It could be anything. Immortality, returning someone from the dead.... things normally considered impossible."

"... What's your wish then?"

"I don't have one."

"... YOU JUST SAID-"

"That Masters chosen by the Grail would have to have something to draw them. I wasn't chosen by the Grail. I found Caster by circumstance and happened to be in a position to help her."

"... So wait, are you even a Mage?"

"No."

>>24142157

"... And you just accepted her story at face value?"

"It wasn't a lie." He responds simply. "There are ways of telling." He then turns his gaze slightly more towards her. "Her words are inconsistent at times as well."

"Wh-what?"

"You used your magic to drain pieces of energy from crowds of people, so you could win the Grail. But only a tiny fraction of what was available. If all you cared about was victory, why not drain it all?"

"And murder people in droves?"

"If all you cared about was victory, you wouldn't be considering such mercies."

"... Would you advocate something like that?" I ask, uneasily.

"It's Caster's war. I don't have any real interest in it beyond her desire to win. If she didn't care, I wouldn't either. Morals being the reason for discarding a course of action being good or bad depends on your point of view. I'm not desperate enough for victory to consider the action worthwhile. Others may disagree."

I exit the room after informing them that dinner won't be more that a few hours away. Caster follows me out, while Sensei appears to choose to meditate.

I pause as I start to walk past Saber. She turns to look at me from her position at the door. "Something you wanted to talk about, Shirou?"

>?

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since it seems to have had others mistaken for it, here is housewife rider.

>>24142164
and theres Souichirou

>>24142164

Apologise about teasing her.

Bring up perhaps letting Rin make a contract with her since Shirou is incapable.
(yes, those exact words)

>>24142145
CCC is the Heaven's Feel or "Far Side" route to Extra's Fate/UBW. Plus I think I read that Extra was going to be Nasu's last Fate project, or something. So don't bet on it.

Thankfully there's fanfiction. If CCC makes it over here, or is even announced, there'll be some good stuff.

>>24142164
>"Something you wanted to talk about, Shirou?"
"It can wait. I'd rather work up a sweat first. Care to teach me, Saber-sensei?"

Time for reenacting my favorite scenes from F/Z! Starring Shirou Emiya as Kirei Kotomine, Saber as Gilgamesh and sparring as copious amounts of alcohol!

>>24142164
Damn, Souichibro is smart.

>>24142213
THis sounds good.

>>24142170
HNNNNNNNNNNNNGHHHH

>>24142145
If there is, it won't be by Nasu. CCC was the last thing from fate that he said he was going to work on.
In the meantime, I'll just wait for CCC to be localized.

>>24142164
Ask her if she'd gain anything from having a master with an exceptionally large mana capacity. Beyond the obvious, anyway.
Also apologise for the box thing, it was a mean thing to do despite the hilarious reaction it got from her.

Perhaps we should invite Souchirou and Caster to the luncheon to explain everything at the same time.

>>24142255
>CCC was the last thing from fate that he said he was going to work on.
Neat, corroboration. I bet this winds up like Kojima with Metal Gear though, Fate is too much a sacred cow for its creator to leave it long, even compared to the rest of the Nasuverse.

Of course, he could just give it to Gen. That would be amazing.

>>24142286
>Amazing

You mean horrifying.

>>24142286
He's got the Tsukihime remake and Mahoyo 2 and 3 on his plate, so here's hoping you're wrong or else those will go the way of The Dark Six.

>>24142286
Yes, yes it would.
I want Gen to make Fate/EMIYA, or something about Archer's past. Although the suffering would have come from everyone other than EMIYA or wait until the very end when he learns what it's like to be a CG.

>>24142286
>>24142311
I'm kinda hoping for something with Nasuverse Werewolves as the focus, really.

>>24142170
My dick wants that. My dick wants that so hard.

>>24142286
Let the Healing begin!

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>>24142341
>Fate/EMIYA written by the Urobutcher

All that delicious anguish.

>>24142373

I will cry if Nasu goes full on trope mode and makes werewolves to supplement Vampires

>>24142164
Oh, right. Quest. Sorry.
>>24142210
I say we ask Saber if she'd prefer Rin or Ilya as her Master (I'm sorry, but the idea of giving Saber to Ilya is just so tempting.) Mention After dinner that we want to spar, and we can drop >>24142213 in.

>>24142402
Werewolves have been mentioned before, they've just never been a focus. And knowing Nasu, they'll be weird as all hell.

>>24142434
Were they ever mentioned before Mahoyo? I can't recall any particular conversations about it, and I'm usually pretty good about that.

>>24142311
I think I remember an interview where Nasu was asked about a Fate remake; he said he'd do it after Tsukihime. Could be that I'm remembering talk about Tsukihime 2 though.

>>24142341
>>24142382
Personal theory: EMIYA's timeline is one where Rin completely failed to summon a Servant. There was no Archer in the "original" Fifth War, which ended with a mutual KO between a Rin-charged Saber and Basakah. Shirou wished on the Grail to become a hero. The unnamed disaster was brought on to give him the opportunity. His time as a CG has made him forget both facts, so he's unaware that the world was destroyed without its "hero", and that causing his paradox is impossible since he'd have to be in a timeline without Archer for it to happen.

That Urobuchi enough?

Also I think Arthur was originally male, and won the 4th war outright. He wished for someone to take his place and was replaced in history by his female self.

>>24142434

Clearly it'll be due to Chaos dying.

Also, we should help with cooking clearly. Servant/Mage assignment is not good to think nor talk about on an empty stomach.

>>24142459
Honestly I'd rather see Prototype actually made into something rather than a straight remake

>>24142459
>theory that allows Fate/Prototype and Fate/Stay Night to both exist in the same universe
You magnificent mother fucker. If the laws of nature allowed it, I would bear your children.

So where's AC-Guy? Did he die or is he counting votes?

>>24142556
i ate him.

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>>24142564

Ac-Guy's browser crashed and he needs to reboot

>>24142434
"Werewolves. One of the Nasuverse's most unknown and dangerous threats. Little is known about them, and it was only recently that information of the cause of their creation was found in the Sea of Extasy. They are formed when one of the Nasuverse's most reliable rituals goes horribly awry."

"The Sea of Extasy, realizing the damage caused by incorrectly performing this ritual, seeks to rectify it's mistake by telling young aspiring magi how to prevent WOLVS from spreading through awkwardly-made mana transfers."

That weird enough, or is it too stupid? Either way I'm done for the night, hope we don't get killed in the meantime.

>>24142673
You realize that vampirism is already a magical STD? Seriously, transfers through fluid, leads to odd sexual and dietary habits, pallor and other side effects...

>>24142673
You know, that reminds me a lot of Twilight.
Turns out the "werewolves" in the main story are just shape shifters bound to wolf spirits.
The actual werewolves are somewhere in the background and rare loners that vampires love to exterminate.

>Alright, sorry about the delays.

>Hard to tell with the side bits, but it looks like the vote is to apologize for the Box incident and talk about someone else being her Master?

>>24142821
Sounds good.

>>24142821
BAsically.

>>24142821
Make sure to use the 'feeding Saber on a teacher's salary' line somewhere.

>>24142854
this, completely and utterly this.

"Yeah." I answer, turning to her. "I should apologize for the box thing earlier."

She lets out a relieved sigh. "That was a joke then? Good, I was beginning to fear for your sanity."

"Wait, what?"

"Sneaking all the way home and lurking around the house in a box."

"... No, I totally did that. I was apologizing for not explaining myself and having a laugh at your expense."

She blinks, and then looks at me. "... Then why? To what purpose did you hide in the box?"

"I was trying to improve my stealth skills. You weren't there for it, but there's been a few times where I've stared death or possible humiliation in the eye over not being able to move quietly."

"So you used a cardboard box?"

"Think about it, they're everywhere. They're convenient. The fold away when you aren't using them. They can be recycled or burned for warmth. They're so useful they're everywhere."

"... I honestly can't tell if this is brilliant or idiotic." She responds with a furrowed brow.

"Actually, it's both. The idea of seriously using a box for stealth purposes tends to work mostly because everyone knows that nobody's dumb enough to try it." I smile and hook a thumb toward myself. "I, however, am EXACTLY that stupid. And they'll never see it coming."

She stares at me for a long time. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I honestly have no idea. It's possible the stress has driven me completely insane." I sigh. "Setting aside the box conversation though, I wanted to talk to you about something more serious."

She nods, expression becoming more businesslike. "Alright. Go ahead."

"I can't form a contract with you, for whatever reason. Caster's almost ready to sever her connection with you now that Sensei's feeling better." I hesitate. "I guess I wanted to know if you had any preference for who became your Master."

She thinks about it long and hard for a minute before turning to me. "Rin. If Sakura's taking back Rider....."

"Not Ilya?"

>>24143118

"She's the only one who could support Berserker if she came back, plus Rin's less likely to need me to babysit her in Combat. Nothing against Ilya, but...." She sighs. "Out of everyone I think Rin's the one who's the closest and the most loyal to you, with the possible exception of me." She hesitates as I raise an eyebrow. "I mean in a military context. Despite us not having a contract I still consider you my Master. She's the one in love with you."

"... Wasn't insinuating anything like that, Miss-quick-to-deny-everything." She blushes slightly and turns away angrily. "I was wondering what you meant by 'most loyal'."

".... Ilya and Rider have both expressed a desire for a wish, even if you don't." She turns to me. "That and the way Sakura looks at people when she thinks nobody can see. She doesn't have the experience I do, but she's clearly measuring people like opponents for some reason. Other than Caster's Master, you might very well be the only person here who doesn't desire a wish from the Grail."

As she says that, I think back to what Souichirou-Sensei said. Do I have a wish? Some desire I haven't acknowledged? Is that why the Grail chose me?

Saber gives me a concerned look. "Shirou? Is something wrong?"

"Eh? Oh no, nothing. Just got lost in thought for a moment there."

"... I know you think most of these people friends and allies, but are you sure you aren't too trusting?" She gently places a hand on my arm. "Your openness, honesty, and trust are traits to be admired.... but in a situation like this they might get you killed."

"So you don't think i should trust anyone?"

"... No, l just.... you would be very easy to take advantage of. I'm not saying anyone's trying to, but you should be aware of the possible weakness."

>What say?

>>24142854
>>24143094

>Couldn't make it fit smoothly, I'll see if I can work it in somewhere though.

>>24143124
"Well it's worked so far. And as I pointed out to Caster, the Grail is... wait, did I tell you about the Grail being a sentient hate engine?"
Also,
>She's the only one who could support Berserker if she came back
>Berserker
>she
acguy what are you doing

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>>24139228

10/10, would summon!

>>24143147

>I actually know what caused that. Originally I had the Ilya side of that placed later, and ended up rewriting parts of it to make it flow better.

>Accidentally missed that on the rewrite.

>>24143147
Seriously, you'd think a magical ritual of this magnitude would have some sort of protocol in place to deal with someone mucking with it. Like "If the Grail might explode and take the whole world with it, everyone stop killing each other until we verify we aren't accidentally fighting over who gets the privilege of being the harbinger of the apocalypse".

>>24143192
Wizards, sense, etc.

>>24143192
>Wizards
>Failsafes
>Implying sense of responsibility or right and wrong from guys like the Matou and Einzberns

...Yeah.

>>24143124
>That and the way Sakura looks at people when she thinks nobody can see.

Uhhhh.... I've got a feeling that isn't Holy Grail related. Unless the Holy Grail is her name for Shirou's dick.

>>24143231
Wait, you mean it isn't? I have been reading this quest all kinds of wrong

>>24143124
"You've got a point, although have I given you my "the Holy Grail might have become a sentient hate engine" theory yet? Yeah, that might be a thing. If it wasn't for Avenger and Gil running around doing mysterious things and generally being evil, I'd probably be trying to get everyone to stop murdering each other until we can verify the Grail isn't a ticking timebomb of evil and hatred."

"Oh, and the Sakura thing? I've got a sneaking suspicion thats not entirely grail-war related, but keep that to yourself for now, I'm still gathering intel."

>>24143289

>I'm gathering intel

"For a one man Covert Op. Into her Vagina."

>>24143124
"I don't think I ought to change my approach at this point. If I was any less trusting and open about what I'm doing at this point, it would become obvious too quickly that my outlook has changed, and that possibly my goals have changed as well."

>>24143309

>Covert Op

Isn't the term 'Sneaking Mission' these days?

At this point, I think we should just tell everybody about important stuff like "Sentient hate engine" at the dinner table. Saves time explaning to each person

>>24143319
I loath you with great intensity.

>Alright, I think I got a feel for what's happening next.

>>24143319

>I invite you sir, to go fuck yourself with a Cactus.

>>24143348

With a revengeance?

>>24143419
Have you prepared your anus?

"Honestly, I'm not sure I can change right now. I'm mostly what's holding this peace together, and if I suddenly started acting different who knows what sort of paranoid chain reaction that might set off." I sigh. "Plus, I get the feeling the Sakura thing might not be entirely Grail War related. I think she's worried everyone here might be a different kind of competition."

"What would- Oh." She says, comprehending. "I'm beginning to wonder if we're the only ones not preoccupied with some sort of romantic subtext."

"I'm starting to be distracted by it because everyone else is distracted by it." I sigh. "Especially since everyone seems to be aimed at me."

Saber smiles. "Yes, poor Shirou. Surrounded by people who care."

"... I'm actually really worried about this. I mean, picking one of them means not picking the rest, which means a lot of people get hurt."

She laughs. "God, but nothing bothers you more than having people care." She shakes her head. "Well at least you don't have to worry about me seducing you."

"... Really?"

"You sound disappointed."

"No, it's not that, just...."

She sighs. "So I can die sometime in the next week, and drive you into the arms of a girl forever haunted by being your second favorite?"

"... That was dark...."

"Honestly, I'm trying not to think of it. Whatever time we might have would be tainted by that though."

She sounds... almost scared.

[ ] Tell her about the 'Grail Theory'.
[ ] Go talk to someone else.
[ ] (Say something else to her).

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>>24143419

>THAT'S NOT A WORD!

>>24143480
>[x] Tell her about the 'Grail Theory'.

>>24143489
Are you upset, AC-guy?

At some point, we need to take a picture of THE BOX and send it to Archer EMIYA by phone.

Possibly with a text along the lines of "HAVE FOUND NEW ANTI-GILGAMESH WEAPON"

Or, we send him a text:

>"Found a new weapon that beat Gilgamesh!"
>"What?"
>*THE BOX.jpg*
> "What."
>"Are my tactics too subtle for you?"

>>24143480
>Saber smiles. "Yes, poor Shirou. Surrounded by people who care."

HIS ONLY WEAKNESS!

>>24143489
It is.
Just like Donaudampfschiffskapitänskajütenaffenbutler.

Shirou you seem to be sighing a lot.

>>24143480
>I'm beginning to wonder if we're the only ones not preoccupied with some sort of romantic subtext.
Oh Saber, just keep telling yourself that.
>[ ] Tell her about the 'Grail Theory'.
>>24143489
Technically, it WAS a word at one time, but is obsolete and no longer one.

>>24143480
[x] Tell her about the 'Grail Theory'.

>>24143480

Ah, we should ask her if a Magus like Rin can keep her around past the end of the Grail War. Assuming Saber didn't have to fight or use NPs much, but just stuck around.

Then we can start in on our Grail Theory.

>>24143480
>[X] Tell her about the 'Grail Theory'.

THIS MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES IT.

AM I GOING MAD SABER?

>>24143489
Actually it is.

An obscure, outdated word, but legitimate english. It's in the 2x10^46 legitimate English constructions.

>>24143192

Not really. To understand how wizards in the Nasuverse work you have to understand that they dont count themselves them as "human".
They don`t see themselves as part of humanity so what happens to humans from a magi point of view is complety uninteresting as long as the Church doesn`t give you flack about it and to prevent that regions usually have an overseer who is either a magus or a church agent and keeps things from escalating simply because its a bother to deal with the aftermath.

Wizards like Kerry or Shirou who actually care about other humans due to their upbringing are very rare in the Nasuverse.

>>24143547
Also Rin, as much as she WANTS to be the distant and uncaring Magus, she's really not very good at it. She has too many humans that she cares about.

>>24143480
time for grail theory!

>>24143480
>[ ] Tell her about the 'Grail Theory'.

Also mention the stuff in Kerry`s notes about the grail.

>>24143499
>archer figures it out
>next day we spot a moving box roaming around the house with everyone else thinking its shirou

I don`t know, I somehow feel as if we missed an opportunity to tie in a pic related reference with the box.

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>>24143623
Forgot mah pic

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>>24143499
>Teaching Archer about THE BOX

Its like you don't even into military secrets.

>>24143602
The train seems to be escaping the railroad.

>people not wanting to teach archer bout the box, contracting him as a servant, and having a reason to use unlimited box works.

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>>24143649

>>24143630
Pretty much all other trains of though got abandoned once it was a MGS joke.

>>24143649
I'm really divided...
This is hilarious but also a full break of thematics.
Then again, you could say that that's making it more realistic.

"Actually, I'm wondering about the Grail." I say, looking at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean there's a lot of stuff that seems Weird. Zouken seemed suspicious of it when we talked, Caster says she unable to feel or find wherever it is, Avenger and Gilgamesh are running around....."

"That is odd."

"And then there's what happened the last time with Kiritsugu. He apparently really wanted that wish from all the evidence I had, but then at the last second something changed his mind. I mean... after all he did and was apparently willing to do, SOMETHING about the situation scared him off."

Saber's quiet for a long moment. "... That's a good point. Even if you took the most harsh unforgiving views...."

"Yeah, it would only make it worse." I respond, trying not to wince. "I mean, no matter how evil he might seem, it was too evil by his standards."

Saber shakes her head. "Well, I suppose we'll have to see. Maybe he was wrong, or what happened last time was a freak occurrence."

"Maybe. I think it wouldn't be unreasonable to try and call for a ceasefire until we know we aren't fighting for the privilege to unleash Satan on the world or something."

Saber nods. "Yes. I'd certainly like to know as well...."

She leans against the wall, deep in thought.

[ ] Go talk to someone else.
[ ] (Say something else to her).
[ ] (Other).

>>24143699

KISS HER YOU FOOL!

>>24143699
[x] Go talk to Sakura

>>24143699
[x] Team Purple, report in!

>>24143699
>[ ] (Say something else to her).

"Say, it's been a while that you fought anything, right? I hope you aren't getting rusty." Invite her to have a friendly spar.

>>24143699
Go talk to Rin about our "Sentient hate engine" theory.

>>24143745
So the grail is /v/-infused Chanology style anonymous?

>>24143699
[x] Backrub

>>24143699
>[X] (Say something else to her).

"You know, what you said earlier about you dying and leaving me heartbroken? It occurs to me that the same applies in some degree to pretty much every woman in this house, and the reverse is true as well, I could die at any moment. I'm sure its crossed everyone else's minds as well, and yet you and I seem to be the only ones who consider it a problem."

>>24143756
I dunno, I think of /v/-style hate as a bright, loud explosion, whereas Angra Mainyu has a more slow, smoldering burn.

>>24143787
So it's /cgl/ and /adv/ in a relationship?

>>24143699

>[x] (Say something else to her).

"I would invite you for a spar, but I'm worried that the blood lust from the time I summoned Gram might rear it's ugly head. Any advice on handling cursed/demonic blades?"

We might figure out Shirou's identity crisis with this line of questioning.

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>>24143777
tl;dr "I'm not saying we should fuck, but we should totally fuck", right?

I support this course of action.

>>24143825
seconding this. talk to Saber about controlling our dark side when using tainted weapons.

>So, uh.. what in the fuck is actually winning?

>You guys are kinda all over the place here.

>Ask Saber About:

"Do you know anything about a blade associated with 'folly'?"

Shirou did see her holding it in the last inner sword summoning attempt.

And tell her you' re glad to have summoned her as your servant. That you appreciate her honesty and candor. That even if she and you had fallen for each other, the brief time you'd have would be well worth it, because her strength, convictions, and honor are all thongs she holds in high regard - to have oneself added to that list would honor us greatly. Or something. I am bad at sappy stuff.

>>24143888
>[x] J-j-jam it in.

>>24143888
I propose a compromise.

>>24143739
>>24143707
>>24143777
>>24143845


Talk to her about sappy emotional stuff over trying to hit each other with swords. Bitches love swords.

>>24143900
> because her strength, convictions, and honor are all thongs she holds in high regard

Arturia, king of Thongs and Trampstamps

>>24143888
>implying we arn't gonna simply troll archer with THE BOX!

>>24143943
>implying Sakura isn't King of Trampstamps

>>24143943
>Immediately before her armored fist made contact with his skull, Shirou had time to realize: he had made the most tragic Freudian slip of his life
>[BAD END]

>>24143943
>>24143973
That should read 'Things'.

That's what I get for typing on a god damn phone.

>>24143943
Shit, now that I've made that joke, I have to run with it, because it's 3 am and what is a healthy sleep schedule.

Arturia, King of Thongs and Trampstamps,
The Knights of the Beer Pong Table
The Quest for the Holy Keg, which grants unending beer and youthful longevity for those righteous party-goers who partake of it's never-ending amber spring.
The Lady of The Porcelain Lake, who grants wisdom only to those who pay obeisance during times of drunkenness and gastronomic heaving.

>Alright, is there a consensus or not?

>I asked,, and then 4chan happened.

>>24144052
Let's spar to lighten the mood.

>>24144052
I want to go talk to Sakura and Rider, but derps gonna herp.

>>24144052
I am in favor of this>>24144068

>>24144052

Clumsy seduction attempt:
>>24143707
>>24143777
>>24143845


Team Purple:
>>24143723
>>24143735

Ask about controlling the Dark Side
>>24143825
>>24143859

Spar:
>>24143739

Spar AND seduce:
>>24143930


In short: we're all over the damn place

>>24144052
How about we check with Rin, see if she's willing to contract with Saber. Then a bit of Sparring With Saber, perhaps tossing out some of >>24143900 's *intended* sentiment.

Also,thanks for running today, AC-Guy. Wasn't expecting it, but now I have something to read at work. Huzzah!

>>24144052
Im going to throw my vote in for Sparring

>>24144077
I'll vote for clumsy come-on too, because I'm sure it'll be hilarious.

>>24144077
I'm voting to talk to team Purple too, just to get over this.

>>24144084
>>24144090
>>24144097
IT KEEPS HAPPENING

>>24144103
Ah tievotes, Acguy's greatest weakness!

>>24144097
Another vote for Team Purple

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>>24144108

[X] Do the option from the user given options that Shirou would most likely do in this situation, as interpreted by the OP of the Quest.

Basically 'Author' s Discretion given the provided options' with the request of 'please don't screw us over because it's hilarious.'

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>>24144077
And one more vote for
[x] Clumsy seduction attempt
from me.

>>24144144

>I actually can't do that. That makes no sense.

>If I'm picking the options, it's not a quest, just me masturbating words all over 4chan.

>That said, I'm pretty sure 'Sakura' won that vote at the end.

>So what do you guys want to talk to her about?

>>24144144
But then what are we here for?

>>24144160

>OH YOU KNOW WHAT.

>YOU JUST HAD TO BEAT MY POST BY A FUCKING SECOND, DIDN'T YOU?!

>>24144168
Acting like a bunch of children?

Rolled 1

>>24144144
>>24144165
>>24144174
FUCK IT

LETS SETTLE THIS WITH A DICE ROLL

ONE IS CLUMSY SEDCUCTION TWO IS SAKURA

HEAVEN OR HELL LETS ROCK

>>24144174
>>24144165
Just go talk to Sakura about if she is ready to take Rider back as her Servant.

>>24144165
no clue, I just wanted to win that one for once

hmm, thoughts on Shinji, reclaiming Rider...
.
.
.
.
killing everyone and locking Shirou in her sex dungeon

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>>24144186
also

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SEDUCTION!

I don't even care who anymore!

Saber because its hilarious, and all those repressed emotions can't be healthy?

Or Sakura, because if she doesn't get the dick soon she's going to go full Yandere and murder somebody?

Its all the same to me. We're Shirou Fucking Emiya and we fuck bitches and smite liches, and we're all out of liches.

>>24144165
What she wants to get out of the Grail. Ask her if she wants to discuss what happened to her while she was with the Matou family. Maybe update her on Shinji not being a total loss.

>>24144165
>>24144165
Tell her about our exchange with Shinji, watch her reaction. There was something odd we noticed about her expression last time he got mentioned. See how she feels about her brother maybe not being just a pawn/victim in the war from here on out.

>>24144186
>killing everyone and locking Shirou in her sex dungeon
"Okay Sakura, I'm about to ask you a VERY SERIOUS question, and I want you to answer honestly, okay?"

"Yes, Senpai! Whatever you ask!"

"Are you planning on killing everyone and locking me in your sex dungeon?"

Then we whip out the camera and take a photo of her.

>>24144198
Purple!

>>24144183
I'm okay with this.

Seductions starts with sparring session.

And ends with cool down make out.

>>24144198
Seduce the Bike
Have three way with Bike and Rider

>>24144241
Saber watches

>>24144183
THE DICE HAVE SPOKEN

We must heed their call, lest the RNG gods cast their displeasure upon us!

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>>24144253
And Gilgamesh watches Saber.

>>24144204
I actually want to see this one now

>>24144198
But if not, i put full faith behind the words of the Rance Mance

>>24144280
Give her the D?

>>24144273

And then AUO Castoff.

>>24144204
What do we do if she answers "Yes"?

>>24144305
Go along with it, because sex dungeons are fun.

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>>24144298
Give EVERYONE the D

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>>24144305
Then we calm her the hell down the only way we know how.

Right there on the table, in front of anyone who cares to watch.

>>24144324
Rance please, this isn't blatant fetish quest.

>>24144324

But the only way we know is to cook food. Lots of it.

>>24144321
All that blingee shit is redundant, and detracts from that glorious man.

>>24144334
Fine, but don't blame me when everyone dies and we get caught in her depraved sex dungeon for the rest of our miserable lives.

For what its worth at this point, I am going to vote against whatever the hell the "clumsy seduction" option is.

>>24144343
>sex dungeon
>miserable
Isn't that an oxymoron?

>>24144350
Might as well throw my vote against it, it just seems too silly.

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>>24144342
Well it was either that or Commissar Rance

>>24144351
If it was miserable sex dungeon, but this is more of a ">implying sex dungeons are miserable" situation.
>>24144361
See, now that makes him even sexier. I would gladly be blammed by that walking example of the Empire.

>>24144165
At any rate, BACK AT THE PLOT

I'll go with talk to team purple just to get the ball moving again

>Oh god, all I asked for is a tiebreaker and /tg/ went for rape.

>What the fuck guys.

>Seriously, what in the flying fuck.

>>24144399
Don't ask for tiebreakers, then.

>>24144399
We are joking ACguy.

Anyways, talking to Sakura about something(probably if she will take Rider back soon) is winning.

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/tg/ always goes for rape.

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>>24144399
AC-Guy I want nothing to do with where this tread is going. There arnt enough Giant Robots for my tastes

>>24144399
Noone was serious about it.

...at least I hope noone was serious about it.

>>24144425

Sparring seduction is fine too, though.

>>24144432
I'm only really voting for that to see Shirou fill the room with spaghetti, really.

To be fair, we didn't actually say we'd rape anybody.

We just said that if Sakura admitted to her plans on mass murder and subsequent imprisonment in a rape-dungeon, we would take appropriate steps to calm her homicidal impulses.

>>24144399
Well, if talking to Sakura is the dominant choice right now, it's only a matter of what topic to discuss with her (and Rider too if it comes to that.)

Topics for consideration:
>Re-establish contract between Rider and Sakura.
>Talk about Shinji's surprising change of heart during the vampire hunt.
>And since she is the unspoken master of the house when Shirou is gone, ask how our unconscious guest (Sacchin) is doing. Include that we may be able to send her on her merry way since the vampire threat is eliminated.

>>24144432

I want this.

If only for the chance to ask her how the kids looked like.

>>24144449
Those topics are pretty good, i agree with this plan.

>>24144449
>send her on her merry way
Give her to Arc. She'll either make her way to Shinji, or stay with Mama Earth. I'm fine with either.

>>24144165
Talk to Sakura about contract with Rider.
Then see if Rider could actually help us fix the bike.

I go to speak to Sakura, and catch my reflection in the window on the way by. For a second I almost think I see a mad grin across my face, but a quick glance confirms I was only seeing things.

"Sempai?" She asks when I walk in the room.

"Hey. You have a minute?"

"... Yeah, of course." She answers, surprised. "What's going on?"

"Just wanted to talk about some stuff. I know you and Rin were going to switch Rider back to being your servant."

She nods. "We were going to have Caster sever the link when she got back from running errands." She hesitates. "Or I guess you could do it too, if you could make that one knife." She tilts her head slightly. "I didn't really understand when Nee-san explained how that works."

"If I see anything that falls under the broad category of 'sword' I can copy it. My copies aren't as good, but they're better than what most people can do. Also certain magical effects don't stop happening. If a sword had a certain magic effect, so will mine."

"Huh. So you can only make swords?"

"Kinda. I can make other stuff, lances, axes, shields even. It's just the farther they are from 'sword' the harder they are to project."

"So how come the swords don't just pile up?"

"They aren't real swords. They're more like a really good illusion."

".... I think you lost me, Sempai." She says with an uneasy smile and a slightly furrowed brow.

"It's like an illusion so good the world thinks it's real. And because the world says it should work, it does. Even though it isn't real." I respond. "But in order to maintain it I have to remember every single part of the sword and how it fits together."

"... Huh. So why swords?"

"... I have no idea. Apparently my element is 'sword' but I'm not sure if that's the cause."

"... How can your element be 'sword' I thought it was stuff like fire and water."

"... Yeah, I have no idea. You should ask Rin, since she actually knows a lot more of the academic side to magic."

>>24144586

"Alright." She says, with obviously forced cheer over her confusion. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. When we encountered Shinji during the Vampire hunt, he seemed to have a change of heart." I answer. "It wasn't quite altruistic, but he seemed to at least realize his situation was his own fault and didn't want to drag everybody else down."

Sakura's face becomes unreadable. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know. It's a bit optimistic to say that he's trying to be a better person, but he kinda moved in that direction. By a few inches." I sigh. "Still more than I was expecting."

".... So.... what, you're going to try and save him or something?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure I feel right about abandoning him if there's something in there worth redeeming." As I say the words, I realize that Sakura didn't really sound hopeful. "... Hey Sakura, is there something you want to talk about?"

"Eh?" She jumps slightly, and starts blushing heavily. "N-no, nothing like that. I.. I just..."

She never quite manages to tell me what she was 'just' doing as she flees the room.

>I'm gonna end it here for the night. Thread's still alive tomorrow I'll continue it, at least with whatever life's left in.

>Someone might want to archive, just in case.

>>24144594
>IVEGOTTAGODOSOMETHING

Oh Sakura. If you we're possibly a homicidal crazybitch, you would be so adorable right now.

>>24144640
*weren't

if you weren't a crazy bitch, you would be adorable.

Jesus that came out wrong.

>>24144651
Came out right if you play KY.

>>24144659
All she needs is a clay cutter and phantom of the opera mask.

>>24144671
And a nice porcelain t͎͇͊ͯͫ̍ͬe̻̖͛̑̐͗͋̄̈a̳͑̈́͋͢ ̲̱̠̥͜s̡̪͈̃͆ͫe̲̦̙̔ͭͅtͭ͗͏̣

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>oh silly sempai. I've been dropping hints for years and only after I kill everybody off and trap you in this dungeon do you realise that I have feelings for you?

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>>24144713
...You have what-nows for me?

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>>24144744
You sir, are a fool.

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>>24144744

Whatever you want it to be, Sempai~

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>>24144759

... Candy?

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>>24144586
>For a second I almost think I see a mad grin across my face

Something like Pic related?

>>24144786
Pretty sure it was meant to be >>24144198

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>>24144777

>Check sup/tg/
>That archival
Oh man, AC-Guy's reaction is going to be...interesting.

>>24145017
ahahaha
oh god
i read the title and cracked up
then i read the description and now i can't breathe

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>>24145017
Oh god my sides

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>>24145017
>Tactical seduction action

Oh god what
I can't stop laughing and i spilled coke everywhere
My cat and roommate are looking at me like I'm a madman

>>24145088
You know you've lost it when the cat is judging you

I feel like at some point we should mention to Ilya (and possibly everyone else) that apparently Gil/Avenger neither killed nor captured Berzerker.

Also, I'm pretty sure the "vampire" Arc is looking for is actually either the Grail or Angry Mandude. I can't remember the exact words she used to describe what vampires felt like, but the abomination that is all the world's evil seemed to fit.

>>24146001
Shirou needs to come clean about a lot of stuff, actually.

The PTSD whil having a flashback

The fact he may be less-than-human or a demon

The info about the vampire

Share the true nature of Kiritsugu with Illya (or did we reveal thisÉ)

The history of Kotomine and the Grail War orphans.

Anything else I missed?

Seeing as AC-guy is going to continue tonight, should I even bother posting an update to the Ebook?

>>24147011

Don't post. Just do your own update to save you extra work when the next session comes around.

>>24147039
Way ahead of you. Word doc was up to date when I posted, I just didn't convert it or upload it yet.

>>24147083

Then find pictures of shirou in a box.

>>24146795
>PTSD
No need to freak people out. We are Emiya Shirou, and we are allergic to people caring about us.
>Less than human
People already know, and see point #1.
>Info about the vampire
Yes, this.
>Kerry's history
We talked to Ilya about it a little bit a while back.
>History of Kotomine
We need to actually find out more about that ourselves and work out wtf it means before we talk about it.

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I never get to use this gif.

I just had the best/worst idea for a Carnival Phantasm Again segment: Our Shirou masters the Kaleidostick. Avenger has the other one.

>>24152841
I'd watch the shit out of that.

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>>24153124
Turns out it's already a thing, too.

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Life giving post

bump

Okay Ac-Guy will be here in a bit just had to run an errand.

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>>24158741
I can rejoice to this.

>I just realized I didn't leave a 'what do'. And I feel dumb for that.

>So, uh... what do?

>>24159554
Why don't we follow her and continue our chat? Obviously we can help her with that thing she was going to do while we talk.

>>24159554
Ask rider about Sakura.

Seriously, this is getting silly.

besides, we've kinda been ignoring Sakura so figuring out how to unfuck her (No, don't even say it) could be useful.

>>24159554
Now we chat up Rider and fix the Bike

>>24159668
I like this idea.

>>24159554
Well, I say we prepare dinner, and make sure everyone is there. Over dinner, tell everyone that the grail is probably corrupted and that if we must fight, hold off on fighting until we can confirm whether or not it's just one big monkey's paw.

After dinner, spar with saber.

>>24159554
Talk to Rider.
Also, you might want to make a twitter post for the people who haven't left the thread open

>>24159668
going with this.

>>24159554
Talk to Rider.

See what she thinks about Sakura's reaction just now. Did we almost stumble upon her nefarious murder plot?

>>24159554
We need a third-party intervention regarding this whole figuring Sakura out business because she's not spilling.

Going with either Rider or Taiga. Priority on Rider though.

>>24159724
During dinner, I guess we can relay what Gilgamesh blurted out during his rage induced spiel about Fuyuki City being reduced to "fire and blood" or something.

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>>24159666
>>24159668
[X]Ask Rider to help us fix the bike. Then, while doing so, we can talk about Sakura. She's being evasive, we might as well be honest with SOMEONE.

>>24160011
>During dinner, I guess we can relay what Gilgamesh blurted out during his rage induced spiel about Fuyuki City being reduced to "fire and blood" or something.

That is important, yes.

But not until dessert at east. No need to spoil the rest of the meal.

>>24160050
I imagine the perfect time would be during post dessert coffees.

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>>24160011
>"fire and blood"

Somebody say my name?

We ought to get a pair of Mystic Eye killing glasses for Rider one of these days. Her eyes are too pretty to be hidden behind Breaker Gorgon all the time.

>>24160313
Apologies. I seem to have misquoted.

It was actually "fire and darkness."

>The plan could be done simply if we chose to simple plunge the city in to fire and darkness. Take one of the ley lines and cause and earthquake down the coast. Harvest the prana from the sacrifice. Instead, we chose the hard way. The way of minimal deaths, of the least collateral damage. Avenger had me convinced that it was the best way even.

inb4 jokes combining Sakura and Melisandre. Dark and full of terrors indeed.

Wandering around, I spot Rider. She turn to me. "Did you really sneak home in a cardboard box?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"A crate made of wood or metal would have been too conspicuous."

"... Do you give everyone the same non-answers to direct questions?"

"Maybe. To be honest, I don't really pay attention to what I say."

Rider's ability to stare at me blankly when I can only see half her face is astounding. I'm almost tempted to ask how she does it. Before I can however, she talks first. "So did you come find me for a reason?"

"Kinda. Sakura just ran off flustered, I was wondering if you had any idea why."

"Depends. What were you talking about?"

"At that exact moment? About how Shinji seemed to be moving in the vague direction of being a decent person."

"Huh. He's got a long way to go before then."

"Well yeah, but if there's a small bit that could be redeemed I don't feel comfortable throwing him under the bus."

"I would. He had a chance, and used it to be a douchebag. I'd rather his 'second' chance go to someone who hadn't had one."

"... Kinda harsh."

"There's a lot of people who only realize the error of their ways when they get the same treatment they've been dishing out. If they seriously fail to understand the pain of those they trod over with out being pushed underfoot, they aren't the sort to really remember the lessons they learn down there." She frowns. "Then again, I might be slightly biased."

"... So how do you think Sakura would feel?"

>>24160548

"I don't know, I can try talking to her about it." She answers with a shrug. "I can see where she might have mixed feelings though. She didn't really like being a Matou, and no matter how large or small the role he played she might see him as one of her tormentors. On the other hand, not everything he did to her was cruel and evil even if she saw it that way. Or at least she saw his intentions lean that way, if not his actions."

"Wow." I run a hand through my hair, reflecting. "I don't know what to say. I mean, I knew it wasn't exactly a happy home...."

"You were unaware of -exactly- how bad it was." Rider returns, and smiles slightly. "She's like you. She does a very good job of hiding her discomfort and pain from people she cares about. I suspect for the same reasons."

"What? I just really don't see why someone should get worked up over m-" Rider's words suddenly hit me like a brick. I turn, looking to where Sakura-

Rider's hand catches my shoulder. "I know your 'reckless heroism' gland is probably freaking out right now, but I think you should give her some space. Calm down a little before you talk to her."

"But-"

"You make incredibly stupid decisions when you're emotional. At least take a deep breath before you go."

I close my eyes, letting out a sigh and trying to relive the tension before I-

[ ] Go check on Sakura.
[ ] Go talk to Rin.
[ ] Go work on the Bike.
[ ] Go start dinner.
[ ] Ask Rider something else.

>>24160560
>[ ] Go start dinner.

Cooking is sooooooothing.

>>24160560
>[ ] Go work on the Bike.

>>24160560
Unlimited Dinner Works

>>24160560
>[X] Go work on the Bike.

We shall find wisdom in its hate-filled mechanical embrace.

>>24160560
>[X] Go work on the Bike.

We still need to finish that. Once we do, our bribery will be complete and Rider will be firmly in our pocket.

>>24160560
Work on bike

>>24160560
>[ ] Go talk to Rin.

>>24160560
Shirou maek food