God damn it, /tg/, I've just witnessed a party of level 10 characters get into the biggest FUBAR of their lifetimes.http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/23465094Remember this thread? Well here's what happened.>my rogue places a napkin in his mouth and kisses one of the charmed and geased party members, pulls the acorn into the napkin, and then disposes of the napkin-wrapped acorn>my rogue repeats the process for the other characters until everyone is un-charmed and un-geased>we gather together and identify the location of of Bags of Holding that our equipment are in, pixies are off dancing>we approach, DM asks our casters to make some rolls>casters fail to detect the warding magic around it, we trigger an alarm that alerts the entire party>several fey nobles start ranting about how dare we crash the party of the esteemed Seelie Court>DM explains that he rolled Sense Motive for me back then and failed>my rogue calmly explains the situation with the satyr who disinformed and tricked him>"It's your fault for getting tricked. Blame is on you, mortal.">get pelted with magic>Mind Fog on entire party, sorcerer tries to counterspell, but it's a spell-like ability>paladin, bard, cleric, and druid fail their saving throws>fey nobles follow up with four Insanities against those who failed their saves, they all go insane>cleric's initiative comes up>Rolls on Confusion/Insanity table, can act normally>uses Travel domain to cast Teleport, hopefully to bring us back to our brand new mansion in the capital city>rolls a 98 on the d100 roll, DM says we instead get teleported to the mansion of some important duchess who lives across the street from us in the noble quarter>DM says we all end up in separate rooms too, and it's a huge mansion>it's still night time>the paladin, bard, cleric, and druid are ALL STILL INSANE>we're all still wearing our shirtless waiter outfits/bunny waitress outfitsThe saga continues in the next post!
I don't have a *waiting for OP to deliver* pic, so this bump will have to do.
>DM explains that he rolled Sense Motive for me back then and failedTotally plausible and not railroading at all.
>>23614573So, /tg/. Would you the elf in the OP?
>three insane girls and one insane elf dude start waking people up and punching out maids, guards, family members, and the duchess and duke themselves (they don't have Improved Unarmed Strike, but they're still level 10 and getting +6 STR/DEX/CON/CHA)>my rogue and the sorcerer meet up and work out a plan: I'll restrain some, the sorcerer will cast Dominate Person on the rest (it's the only level 5 spell she has) and override the insanity with her commands, then the sorcerer will Dominate the ones I've been restraining>after an intense 9 rounds, the Dominate Person plan works because they're still eating the Will save penalty from Mind Fog>but not before the DM rolls a d20 and says my rogue's struggle restraining the much stronger paladin ends up in a few lanterns being knocked down and setting fire to the laundry>fire starts spreading before we can do something about it>sorcerer is a pyromaniac/enchantress, can't help much on that front>my rogue and the sorcerer command the party members to carry the NPCs (who are all punched out) out of the mansion>successfully do so>now standing in front of the burning mansion of a duchess in the noble quarter>in between us and our own mansion is pretty much the whole city guard>they recognize us because we're heroes and shit>they ask what the hell just happened and why we're dressed as shirtless waiters/bunnygirls>my rogue and the sorcerer explain the situation, ask for a powerful cleric who can undo the Insanity (so that the sorcerer can end the Dominate Person), and turn ourselves in>before the session ends, DM says the sorcerer detects a scrying sensor in the air, with a hint of fey magic>DM reminds us that our gear is still with the fey in that forest>DM also reminds us that the cabal of green dragons we were looking for in the first place is still in that forestFuck my life.
>>23614703Probably not; no. The similarity with my older brother would make it a lot weirder for me than I'm okay with.
>>23614703What kind of question is that? Every fa/tg/uy worth his beard will obviously answer yes.
>>23614712>but not before the DM rolls a d20 and says my rogue's struggle restraining the much stronger paladin ends up in a few lanterns being knocked down and setting fire to the laundryYou got played.
>>23614703Yeah, she's hot.
>>23614712>>DM reminds us that our gear is still with the fey in that forest>>DM also reminds us that the cabal of green dragons we were looking for in the first place is still in that forestI'm pretty sure your characters have every in-game reason imaginable to tell that forest to fuck off and die and never return there
>>23614732Soo...is your older brother single?
>>23614712So basically your GM railroaded you to lose your equipment and being chased out of town? Sounds like a pretty dick move, to me.
>>23614712Your DM screwed you there, hard.So, do you want /tg/'s aid in burning the forest to the ground, and using the dragon's heart-sinews as your new codpiece straps?
Burn it all.
>>23614825All while in sexy waiter/waitress outfits?
>>23614712>sorcerer is a pyromaniac/enchantress>sorcerer is a pyromaniac/enchantress>sorcerer is a pyromaniac/enchantressYou know what to do, OP.
>>23614864With starched white cuffs / bowties that don't connect to the rest of the outfit if need be.We are /tg/, you tell us your resources, we abuse the system to avenge shitty railroaded campaigns.
>>23614781As far as I know. It's possible he's hooked up with someone, but we don't really talk about that stuff.
>>23614892>sorcerer is a pyromaniac/enchantressdarkness beyond twilight crimson beyond blood that flows etc etc etc
>>23614892THAT FOREST IS HUGESO MUST IT'S ASHES BESCORCH AND BURN BOYS
>>23615030So how would you go around torching a fey-infested woods? It's pretty safe to assume that there's some kind of wards / druids preventing forest fires spreading, and all kinds of fantastical monsters.
>>23615030This is the only acceptable plan, to burn down that entire place as a middle finger to those fey fucks.
>>23615129Well that's easy. More fire.Pic related, it's a decent start.
>>23615129Magic carpets and a shit ton of alchemist fire. Recreate the Dresden bombings.
>>23615129Okay, here is an idea, find the nearest red dragon and convince it that the green dragons in the forest are plotting to overthrow it.Red burns the forest down in a rage.
>>23615169I like the way you think. No normal amount of Alchemist's fire and Fireballs are going to cut it, you need to dig into the magma layer.OP, what you need is a volcano. How much stone shape you need to achieve this?
>>23615129The great thing about fire is that everything burns eventuallyRegular fire not good enough? Well, try Dragonfire. Still not enough? Then I guess it's time to open concurrent portals to the planes of Earth and Fire and bury the entire ecosystem in lava.
>>23615129Dont bother trying, your DM seems like the type who would just say "lol the magyck fairy god put de forset under her proctetion, u cnnot burnz it daown!!!22!@!"
>>23615186You'd need a bunch of red dragons, and there's always the risk of the fey mind controlling them one way or other. I think it would be safer to go the geological route and start by digging a borehole.
>>23615203This actually bring up another good point. There was to be some sort of outsider type that are anti fae/chaos that you guys can ally with.
>>23615203Ohh, I like this idea!!Gather the neccesary materials to open a portal to the elemental plane of fire, and just tell the fire elementals that they've got a bunch of woods to burn down right outside if they feel like it.
>>23615203Open up a stable gate to elemental plane of magma one mile over the forest? Might work, but you'd need some way to guard it from the dragons and the fey lords that inevitably would ride them.
>>23615213Which is a shame, because in the first thread even though the situation felt sorta fetishy it seemed like an interesting enough setup to let OP's rogue have some time in the spotlight.Now it seems like the DM was planning on boning the entire party from the beginning.
>>23614573>>several fey nobles start ranting about how dare we crash the party of the esteemed Seelie Court>>DM explains that he rolled Sense Motive for me back then and failed>>my rogue calmly explains the situation with the satyr who disinformed and tricked him>>"It's your fault for getting tricked. Blame is on you, mortal."That's bullshit. Your DM just decided to do that after you figured out to get around his original 'fuck you' scenario. Or is a terrible DM, anyway, with no idea of what constitutes a decent twist.
How hard would it be to actually create a volcano underneath the forest?
>>23615129Objection.Forest fires have the tendency to BENEFIT a forest's ecosystem in the long run.
>>23615329Hard, unless you have mastery of geological forces n a continental scale.
Hire a demon to do the work for you.
>>23615349This is a really dumb statement considering what we're talking about here but I'm just gonna let you figure out why for yourself.
But how is OP supposed to get his equipment back?
>>23615329depends on the forest, if it's near a mountain range perhaps not muchWe don't actually know what it takes to make a volcano though, we just know what they aremagic portals are the way to go most likely
>mind-controlling insane bunnygirlsAm I the only one who finds this really, really hot?
>>23615329http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/fw/20031017ahttp://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/fw/20031227ayou need either 40,000 gp of a druid capable of casting level nine spells
>>23615386a normal forest fire would never cut it, a lava tsunami might though
>>23615447>We don't actually know what it takes to make a volcano thoughWell, that's kind of wrong.
>>23615459Magic really is overpowered in 3.x.
>>23615198Well, let's see. Stone Shape can move 10 cu. ft. + 1 cu. ft./level, so a total of 20 cu. ft at level 10.Magma chambers tend to form within ~3 kilometers of the surface, or ~9841.92ft. So, assuming there's lava to be found there at all, it may take up to 492 casting at level 10 to bore a one-square-foot hole to the desired depth. However, clearly 1'x1' hole is not going to cut it for the kind of volume of fire we're looking for. a 10'x10' might do a decent job of the immediate area, but the problem is that, one, that means almost 5000 casting, and two, stable magma chambers tend to form in low-pressure zones. If such a chamber were to reach a high pressure, it would have formed a volcano on it's own already. In all likelihood boring a hole straight into a magma chamber wouldn't actually result in any lava bursting out at all. Not to mention, of course, that the casting of Stone Shape requires the caster hold a small piece of clay against the stone to be moved, which would mean that they'd have to be at the bottom of the borehole the entire time, which would probably get them killed.So, Stone Shape is clearly not the way to go here. I would suggest something more simple, like opening an unbound portal to the Plain of Fire or something.
>>23615490There's only been one recorded formation of a volcano in credible history, and it just erupted out of a fucking field.Yes, we know that it's from magma finding a weak point in the crust and pushing out, but we have no idea what constitutes a weak point, how to predict them, or anything
Guys, I just want the stuff in that Bag of Holding back.
>>23615563You might be able to find it among the ashes.
>>23615563Sell other party members to Fey in return for loot
>>23615516>There's only been one recorded formation of a volcano in credible historyThat's also wrong.>but we have no idea what constitutes a weak point, how to predict them, or anythingThat's also wrong.Perhaps you should study some geology if you're going to talk about it.
>>23615563And I wanted a goddamn pony, but did I go and whine about it? No, I set a house on fire.
>>23615563Sorry OP, but your Bag of Holding has to go up in flames. There's no other way.
>>23615563What edition are you guys playing in? Depending on the edition you could always hire an Ethereal Filcher to steal it back for you.
>>23615503Thanks for doing the work, now it's obvious that the party needs a gate of some kind to elemental planes. Elemental plane of magma is a real thing (it's where fire and earth touch), so the only trouble is how to guard it from the fey who want to shut it down. You'd need some heavy duty anti mind control equipment, for starters. Maybe use undead?
>>23615586then give sources mr. geologyI'm not going to defend public education
>>23615646surround it with magically protected cold iron? not sure about the dragons though
>>23615682Maybe it'd be possible to convince the dragons to be elsewhere for a time?
>>23615682What if you had cold iron lava?
>>23615761what if he uses the dragons to burn the forest down? Chromatic dragons are evil afterall, sure they hate the fucking fey. Don't actually need to burn the forest down if that becomes the solution, in fact the dragons would be opposed to that, but if it kills the fey, so be it
>>23615768>cold>lavaYou realize that once you heat up cold iron, it stops being cold iron? On account of, you know, not being cold.
>>23615789The green dragons live in the forest, and don't even breath fire. And convincing them to be somewhere else, away from their hoards isn't going to work.
>>23615795Please, this is 3.5 physics.
>>23615768This makes me wonder why would fey be weak to cold iron but not to hot iron.
>>23615857Everything is weak to hot iron, though.
>>23615795>>23615856>>23615857If I recall in 3.5, Cold Iron is some stupid bullshit that they mine underground, rather than iron hammered from meteor falls/ALCHEMY! So you could perhaps liquidify cold iron.
>>23615795Well then where does the cold iron go, wise guy?
>>23615768Yeah, that would be superior solution. You'd need to first locate a sizable vein of cold iron first, probably on the elemental plane of earth, then mine and reroute it through plane of fire and finally gate it one mile above the forest.Gentlemen, we need to go full dorf fortress on this.
>>23615922http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Cold_Iron1. Mined underground2. Low temperature forging bullshitSo you MIGHT be able to heat it up enough to start fires, but not TIDE OF MAGMA.
>>23615959What about making zillions of cold iron pellets and raining them down over the forest using trebuchets? That would significantly weaken the fae's magic within the forest and might stop them from putting out the fires.
>>23615857Best explanation I can give you, cold iron is Meteoric Iron, which was sent from above. In D&D cosmology, Above are the far realms, the domains of unnatural madness. They feywild is natural madness. Unnatural and Natural are incompatible, and causes the fey pain.
>mfw this threadOh my god /tg/. Why don't I visit here more often? This is awesome.
>>23616067Welcome, young one.
>>23614695>>DM explains that he rolled Sense Motive for me back then and failed>Totally plausible and not railroading at all.Yes. Yes, it is. What was your point?
>>23616086Dude, did you even read the setup for the story? It's completely obvious that the GM was railroading them just to get off on his fantasy.
>>23615996Yes, this. We must first weaken the fae so they cannot stop the cleansing fires.
Your GM sounds a bit off. I say destroy it all. Not just the forest, not just the fae. Fuck it all, summon and awaken Azathoth (or equivalent). THE END
>>23615996>trebuchet>not orbital dropNot thinking big enough. I say start with a giant slab of the stuff etched with celestial on how they are all going to die.
>>23616207But the problem with an orbital drop is that you can't ensure an even dispersal. It'd be pretty amazing to wipe the forest out in one fell swoop though.
>>23616229You don't need even dispersal, you just need to hit a threshold of damage for all areas. Doesn't matter if some areas get more overkill than others so long as everything's getting killed.
>>23616273You're right. OP, we need the know the size of the forest or at least the size of the holdings the fae have within it.
>>23616289I say we drop the moon. Or one of the moons, if this world has multiple. Asteroids might be worth dropping too.Omnicide yay!
>>23616289Don't forget fae portals and the local druids. I would recommend finding some neutral evil druids who will be willing to help.
>>23616229You do realize that if you drop a cold iron meteorite on them the least of their worries will be the cold iron in it?
>>23616318Yeah, they'd have to come to terms with being in a shitty Metallica video a century later.Fuckin' bards, man.
>>23616318The cold iron purpose is to fuck over the fae.
>>23616352And the high velocity impact isn't going to royally fuck them up regardless? Drop a big enough rock and it won't matter, everything dies.
>>23616362Dude, they're FAE. The iron comes first or they might not be physiologically capable of being dead at the time.
>>23616352Pretty sure that dropping a metal core asteroid traveling at cosmic speeds fucks up just about anything, fae or not. Basically you have to ask yourself is your revenge worth causing an extinction-level event, nuclear winter?
hmm, tell me: if you rigged up a minor portal to the realm of fire, stuck it in a rock, made about 30 of them, stuck them in a trebuchet and launched them all over the forrest, would the fey have enough power to shut them all down before it fucked everything up? Animate trebuchet to throw boulders with gates inside them, have the gates open upon a command word or timer so you can deploy them all at once without anyone being the wiser.Forrest fire for all + fire elementals/mephits comming through naturally.
>>23615648the island of surtsey is one, then theres that one that appeared in south americahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Par%C3%ADcutin
>>23616391Well, let them live in suffering. You do realise that an impact of the size we're suggesting would probably cause a global ice age? Not to mention every living thing in the area (with the possible exception of the Fae) is going to be annihilated.If the Fae do survive, they're now alone. No servants, no playthings, no forest. Just an empty and desolate wasteland, to remind them of all that they lost. Let them suffer, let them go insane from the emptiness. Let them live, for the dead cannot feel pain.Besides, we can always drop another rock.
>>23615169That dragon looks like it is having the time of its life! I can't help but picture that dragon talking like a stereotypical Californian surfer dude.
>>23616393Yes. Yes it is. Maybe I'm getting a bit carried away, but really, omnicide is the only way to be sure.
>>23616476I like the trebuchette tactic better. Rain cold iron volleys. Rain rocks mounted to gates to the elemental plane of fire. Rain more cold iron.Opening with an orbital drop of a big cold iron slab with a message would be a big opening for the reckoning however...
>>23616393>Scry an asteroid with a near-collision orbit>Polymorph to a form that can survive in outer space, Greater Teleport on it>Use force effects to change its trajectory, pop in every month or so to check it goes straight>Teach those fuckers to mess with you>End civilization as we know it.
>>23616405Surround rock with cold iron.
>>23616476>If the Fae do survive, they're now aloneWhat a novel experience! Let me take a few decades to truly appreciate the depth of my loss. I've never felt such an emotion before, this is really quite interesting.
Fuckin mind control magic fae forest? Yes there is a way to do this, happened to my party, our plan pissed of the GM so hardcore (Who also railroaded us into his magical mind control fetish forrest/magical realm) So later after the GM left we had an after session. We decided that we were going to go full steam punk/dorf fortress on them similar to this thread. First we left the realm, went to a place that sold a fuck ton of cold iron. Bulk. We all wore full plate, including our caster who was a spell sword. We then decided to hire knights in cold armor and started chopping down the forrest. Whenever a fae would come up our wizard would be like "FUCK YOU I GOTS MAH TIN FOIL HAT" and would crush them. After logging a good portion of the forest we used their trees for war machines and starting fires to destroy the forest even further by slinging cold iron in, granted we used up almost all our money at this point. But still had enough to open a plane to the elemental realm of fire directly above the center of the forest after we catapulted flaming oil all over the place for days. After the fire we sowed salt across the land so nothing would grow there again, and our anti-fae knights went auchwitz on the fae and scattered the ashes with there beloved land. Afterwords the place was known as the blight and our GM refused to play with us again.
>willing to drop a meteorite of cold iron on a forest which could fuck up all live on the planet just because some fae fucked with youI love you /tg/
>>23616531What about centuries later? But fine, you've made your point. Obviously dropping a moon on the planet isn't going to be enough. I say we pilot our planet into the Sun. That should do it!>>23616534You I like, good show.Yeah, okay, this would work too and not cause global extinction. But where's the fun in that?
>>23616631The font is called Impact, for extra luls.
>>23615795In DnD "cold iron" refers not to iron that is cold, but to iron that is magically smelted at low temperature. Interestingly however most sources believe that the "Cold Iron" refered to in the original Anglo/Norse myths regarding Fey and Alfar is actually is mistranslation of "North Iron", the runes and anglicization of "North" and "Cold" being very similar due to the north being roughly called "The Cold Place", and "North Iron" is an archaic term for lodestones or magnets.It's though the Norse believed that magnets would be effective against magical stuff because as far as they were concerned magnets seemed pretty magic in and of themselves.So yeah.TL;DR The Fey be all like "Fucking Magnets Bro"
>>23616734I will from this point forward refer to magnets exclusively as North Iron.
>>23616734The irony of that being that magnetism can be imbued by hammering a metal hot.
pic related.You and your DM are both fetish fags.
>>23616734Magnets work vs the Elves in the discworld books because they have a sense that somehow works with magnetic fields. Iron blocks it ("like being buried alive; no eyes, no ears") and they simply can not get past magnets.
Hate to tell you op but your gear is a lost cause however you should listen to the other anons in this thread in that forest shall BURN(paybacks a bitch).captcha realistic etyahapYes captcha is realistic though I don't what the second one means.
>>23616734So what we need to do is generate a magnetic charge around the forest.
>>23616814Five words for you:GIANT MOTHER FUCKING TESLA COILS
>>23616918>TESLA COILSI think you mean electromagnets.
>>23616814Is it possible to somehow create a large magnetic field with magic? And direct it as well?
>>23617012could we screw with the sun and cause some kind of giant ass solar flare that unleashes a wave of magnetism over the entire planet?
>>23616948Well the tesla coils would still generate a pretty strong magnetic field by virtue of the way they work, with the added bonus of shooting lightning.
>>23616631>>23616657Glorious.>>23617026The problem with that is the natural magnetic field of the planet we're on would dampen the effect too much. Lightning and coiled metal though, that'd do the trick. Lightning and/or storms have spells to conjure them, right?
>>23617094>The problem with that is the natural magnetic field of the planet we're on would dampen the effect too much.not if you make it big enough, we just have to get a gamma ray burst
>"hey /tg/, some faeries have a bag of my stuff">elemental plane of lava>cold iron meteors>gamma ray burstsi love you
>>23617177Fuck the fae.
>>23617177Each second this thread gets better and better
>>23617221I'm going to put little signs like this all over town now.
Oh my god. I almost choked I was reading this laughing so hard.Why can't I play more campigns with you people?
>>23617134Causing the Fae's sun to supernova and release a gamma ray burst...I like you! If this is possible in your game OP you should go for it.
>>23615329>How hard would it be to actually create a volcano underneath the forest?The fasted way to create such a volcano is to go in the opposite direction, get a spellcaster up to epic levels, and then come back.
>>23617835see>>23615459don't need epic, just high
>>23616393>Basically you have to ask yourself is your revenge worth causing an extinction-level event, nuclear winter?We're talking about the PCs here. Of-fucking-course it's worth it.
>>23617805The Gamma Ray is kinda rubbing it in a bit, if the star that is close enough to heat you goes supernovae you've got bigger problems on the way.Shit if the GRB was pointed right at you the radiation would fry you and strip the atmosphere from the planet after that the explosion turning the rock that was your planet to dust....... yeah overkill I guess
>>23617796If you left it up to just one fa/tg/uy, it'd be nowhere near as interesting. We are at our finest when we play off one another, producing a glorious snowball of so-crazy-it's-sane ideas.
Imma fuck that cuntboy elf till its preggers.
>>23617970I know that feeling well. It does make sense when you think about it my last group was like this.I recall we had utterly destoryed a small city just to take out one damn boss the DM sent against us. We actually used a Orbital solution a lazer from a sattelite.
>>23617970>We are at our finest when we play off one another, producing a glorious snowball of so-crazy-it's-sane ideas.That's another good idea! Instead of fire, you could bury the forest under sever kilometers of snow. Even at level 10 it should be quite achievable.Gonna have to find the thread where /tg/ discovered how to do that.
>>23618085>Gonna have to find the thread where /tg/ discovered how to do that.Here we are: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7245208/we've got 5 level 5 spells, and 4 each of everything else. Let's not count bonus spells, as per the OP's post...9 - Twinned Blizzard (40 rounds equivelant)9 - Extended Repeated Blizzard TWINNED (160)9 - Twinned Blizzard REPEATED (80)9 - Extended Repeated Blizzard TWINNED (160)Out of 9th6 - Extended Blizzard REPEATED (80)8 - Repeated Blizzard EXTENDED (80)6 - Extended Blizzard REPEATED (80)8 - Repeated Blizzard EXTENDED (80)6 - Extended Blizzard REPEATED (80)8 - Repeated Blizzard EXTENDED (80)6 - Extended Blizzard REPEATED (80)8 - Repeated Blizzard EXTENDED (80)Out of 6th/8thetc. etc.That's not even the final form./tg/ goes on to make it more powerful.
>>23615310Thats actually a reasonable explaination from feys.Not everybody is nice.
>>23618085I like this idea, but why not both. Like this anon >>23616476 mentioned, if we collide a large enough asteroid it is likely to cause a ice age on a global scale. First we burn em, then we freeze em!
>>23618169>I like this idea, but why not both.Okay. Replace those meta magic with the one that turns one type of energy into another.We lose a significant about of total volume, but now the snow is fire.It still has all the characteristics of snow. It still packs together tightly. It still can be shoveled, rolled into a snowman or snowball.But now it's hot snow instead of cold snow.
The snow seems like a good opener. If its successful your gear can still be salvaged. If it does work then onward to step two.
>>23618208Holy fuck, burning snow.
>>23616534>>23616534Poor sport of a GM.He could have used to make it so that for that party, from onward that session, all Fey realms had a vendetta placed on them. Bounties, Crusaders you name it.And thus entering Fey realms was an insanely dangerous prospect from there on out.With the Fey also using agents to place a bounty on your heads.Dead or Alive with an Intact Body.
>>23616568>>23616568Could just grab your shit and never return.
>>23618284Unacceptable. The fae must pay.
Use a locate city bomb. Everything not at the very edge of the spell is dead, forest is flattened, thank me later.
>>23618366Wouldn't you need a city for that to work?
>>23618309>>23618309Toddler style temper tantrums?I do to this shit what I do to "Lol Deicide via shenanigans".The Gods are Gods for a reason. They stomp your ass into non-existence the moment BEFORE you would have commited to the beginnings of this plan.Unless you want to go for alternatives...
>>23618366that requires a fuckton of specific feats though doesn't it? they're already mid level, tons of their feats are already taken up
>>23618377Congrats on being That DM
>>23618377To be clear, I am saying this in regard to Lolpocalypse bullshit. Not simply burning down the forest.Although you do realize that even that would be met with the most absolute fiercest resistance from everything in the forest and the forest itself, right?
>>23618377>>23618407God have HP just like anyone else, and it seems like the forest is pretty much controlled by the fae and the dragons. If you can keep your plan under wraps almost until you put it into action, you'll have a decent chance of success.
>>23618309>Unacceptable. The fae must pay.This is D&D, first priority is the gear.Or rather, first priority _should be_ the gear.
>>23618396>>23618396No, you are that players. Half of /tg/ is.Do you really think that being a threat an entire world will acually go by? You arent the only PC equivalents on an entire planet, and unless you are level 20, and munchkining hard, there would be about a dozen MORTAL beings who would have their "Oh Shit" alarms pop off. And then they kill your ass for threatening them and their holdings.Not to mention any deities.Escapist Fantasies are one thing, but using RPGs as a outlet for delusions of grandeur and pathetic mewling is something else.At level 10? You are very experienced and capable. But you wouldnt be anywhere near the top of the foodchain. And you wouldnt be the only Wizard ever.And really, why WOULD a deity allow a group of mortals to successfully harm it in anyway?Im thinking about that Artificer Wizard nuke bullshit.It should have been ported right back and killed the adventurers. Or done basically nothing.
>>23618467>God have HP just like anyone else,...should we bring the Immortals Hand Book into this?
>>23618467>>23618467Gods have precog/followers with precog. There gods.Although you are correct. Assuming its something the size of a county and not the Congo, its viable. Id go with it.
>>23618502Even Monads have millions of HP, and they have at least 1000HD per universe they rule. Since Yahweh rules over Heaven, Hell, and Material, he would have 3000 HD, massive constitution, and that would be multiplied by a million. His HD would also be several steps up from what Outsiders normally are.
>>23618544>Yahweh rules over Heaven, Hell, and MaterialMinor nitpick, but strictly speaking he rules "The Heavens", plural, not just "Heaven."
>>23618579Let's just say for the sake of argument that The Heavens are a single plane of existence.
>>23618544Yahweh?Infinity everything and omniscience. No win scenario.Or its an imposter.
>>236185797 heavens + 9 hells + 1 physical =17
>>23618485Okay GM, listen: this party? it has been WRONGED. It has been lied to, it has been robbed, demeaned, fetishisticly controlled, enslaved, and had their basic dignity stripped of them by forces which, and I am going to say this slowly.Have.Stats.The Seelie Courtisans have known abilities and weaknesses and X, Y, and Z. They have stats. We can kill them.Gods of D&D mythos are not omnipotent. they are extremely advanced, and extremely capable, but they too have stats, and may be killed.The exclusion to this is The Lady of Pain. Both in that she has no stats and that she is not a god.Because we cannot strike the GM personally for letting his set dressing manhandle our characters (as it would be rude), we must strike at the set dressing.In this case, I believe that the "cold iron rain" is our best option. We could load trebuchets with pottery filled with cold iron dust, and at the center load a single thunderstone.When the pottery impacts, the thunderstone will go off, spreading a sonic shockwave and dispersing the cold iron dust in a large radius.
>>2361860610 hells, actually, considering Purgatory.
>>23618579"The Heavens" is like "The Eleysian Fields" it's a monoplane refered to in plural.
>>23618620Purgatory isn't really a hell though, it's a place of redemption and cleansing instead of punishment.
>>23618640It's really a matter of perspective, isn't it?
>>23618653Well if we're talkin' Dante's works then Purgatory's a place for souls to purify themselves before ascending to Heaven (or maybe descend into Hell?) which Hell's a final destination like Heaven. But it all depends on who you're drawing your mythos from.
>>23618640It's still a plain distinct from Hell, Heaven, and Earth, though.
>>23618485Some things you seem not to realize:1.) The ultimate goal isn't to revenge against the fae's malice so much as revenge against the GM putting the characters in an unreasonable position.2.) It is an unreasonable position not because it's difficult, or because it's complicated, but because it appears to be unfair. The sense motive check is a good example; it may have been made in good faith, but it doesn't come across that way to the players.3.) Using RPGs as an outlet for delusions of grandeur and pathetic mewling is reasonable, as long as it's okay with the other players. 4.) These suggestions are largely made in jest. Everyone here knows that it is unreasonable to expect that same level 10 party that got it's ass kicked by faeries to pull off any of these stunts.5.) Everyone here also knows that each of these stunts is theoretically possible, and that, in and of itself, is hilarious.Having fun is first priority.
>>23618703>>23618685Well in Dante's case, Heaven Hell and Purgatory are physical locations on earth. Purgatory was just a giant ass mountain on the opposite side of the world from Europe.
>>23618544>Since Yahweh rules over Heaven, Hell, and Material, he would have 3000 HDif I recall correctly, YHWH rules over for universes, each letter in his name representing one.
>>23618685Well as far as perspective goes I meant that you could look at it as punishment for not quite being good enough or a chance at cleansing and purification.
>>23618612Can your players resist the migjt of all or a majority of the deities which have decided that your party is a threat to their existence and thus decide to snuff out theirblives long before they can do a damn thing about it?What about even their peers on thevworld who are alsp incredibly powerful and dangerous?They are picking a fight with beings which have literal armies of beings ten times whayour adventurers are, world bound Arcane Masters and Immortal Warriors which number Legion and who would fight forvthe unlimited rewards offered and promised.Rewards that will be given.These are literally insurmountable odds. You. Will. Lose.Or....wait until you are level 20 and are bros with several deities and Dark Lords, Grandmaster Paladins, and Badass Super! Dragons Nd maybe even some Titans.Because thats the level you are at.Well?Here an explanation.Would you rather declare war on the US Govt as a Airborne Ranger, or wait a decade or so until you all have exclusive suits that would blow the Crysis suits so far out of the water as to not be funny?
>>23618604>Yahweh?>Infinity everything and omniscience. No win scenario.This is pretty much the case in his universes.However, there are other universes, which have other infinite everythings.
>>23618735I got the distinct impression that Hell was not so much located on Earth, as the boundaries between them were so natural in appearance that you didn't notice entering or leaving one as crossing between worlds.>>23618752>each letter in his name representing one.You do realize that YHWH is an abbreviation, right? It's shortened to the phonetic minimum because his true name is too Holy to write.Strictly speaking, each time we even typed the abbreviation we should have unplugged our keyboards and monitors, plugged in entirely new ones, used them to type in the word, unplug them all again and set them aside in their own sealed case to never be used again, as using an implement that had once written the name of God for something lesser is a blasphemy.
>>23618815>You do realize that YHWH is an abbreviation, right? It's shortened to the phonetic minimum because his true name is too Holy to write.The Pentateuch, Bible, Torah, and the Immortal's Handbook disagree on a number of issues. Which one is truly correct is not for us to know.
>>23618789I don't think we're speaking the same language here:The party isn't fighting the gods. they're fighting some unseelee courtisans who fucked them over. This is not an affair in which the gods will even bother.If the gods were as active as you proclaim them to be, then where was the cleric's god to protect the cleric from being brain-thralled by the fey realm in the first place?Face it, D&D deities are not the hyperactive "destroy all PCs before thye become a threat to us" that you make them out to be...except for in that one setting where no PC was allowed past level 16 because Raistlin. but I don't think the players are playing that setting.
>>23618815>Strictly speaking, each time we even typed the abbreviation we should have unplugged our keyboards and monitors, plugged in entirely new ones, used them to type in the word, unplug them all again and set them aside in their own sealed case to never be used again, as using an implement that had once written the name of God for something lesser is a blasphemy.This should really be enforced. It make religious debates on the internet significantly more interesting and cut down on edgy atheists across the net.
>>23618715No shit fun is the primary goal.But Hurring and durring has to have limits, the GM cant just hand you everything and let you do whatever, especially at a mere level 10.Otherwise its Boring Invincible Heroes/Villains.And thats lame. Real lame. It doesnt even have to come to this. A mere Tunguska event is not world ending, but it is definately not in the reach of Level fucking 10. Not on my level.Work within your limits and use your brain. Not this "Waaah, I has no control over my own life, and I is Edgy anti theist" horse shit. Or atleast be clever/vaguely rational in how it occurs.A Deific Civil War is some nice vaguely acceptable bullshittery. But if its suggested AFTER being shit down, it reaks of childish whining whose only goal and reasoning is "Gub me Gibe me Gib me"
>>23618860Precisely. I get the feeling that was done intentionally to ensure that the Name remains unknown and thus unsullied.
>>23618791You wouldnt be facing Yahweh would you?>>23618815I wouldnt worry about blasphemy in this context.
>>23618284What would, and i'm paraphrasing, "grabbing our shit and never returning" accomplish? hell, dimes to doughnuts the GM is just waiting for the next time the adventurers dare to set foot in his mystical realm (insert piss fetish wizard image here) so he can dominate and LOL-LIES! the players all over again.No, the players can't ever set foot back in that place. Not until it has been brought under their heel.
>>23618910See>>23618870It's not some sort of giant god war you're thinking of, it's a group of adventurers getting back at a group of the Unseelie Court. There were a few suggestions in this thread but the one you seemed focused on is the cold iron meteor one. If they do the cold iron dust mixed with burning the forest, no god's going to interfere.
>>23618870Using world ending force will get them involved rather quickly.Like I have said, its notblike that is even required.Different tables different rules. I would respect yours if I was there.
>>23619009Were you reading? The thread came up with concepts that WON'T end everything. Just burn the forest to the ground.I actually really liked the "Turn frost and snow into fire" idea. That sounded fun.
>>23618968>>23618969Then its a OOC problem.Talk or use violence or mass non participation.There. Done.And no, Im not focusing on it like you seem, Im just punching a hole in the tard balloon.
>>23619027Yes I was reading you tardshits. But way too many people went all "lolpocalypse dey must pay"If this was a Navi thread I would be all for it.
>>23619009you're a fucking idiot. you know that, right?
>>23619066You are a sperging faggot of the highest order.
>>23619066>>23619046>Talk or use violence or mass non participation.You are the least fun person i've ever seen. Also, unless i'm grossly overestimating the size of this forest, and meteor large enough to destroy it wouldn't necessarily be a cataclysmic event. Unless you're insisting the meteor be large enough to completely cover the forest's surface area or something equally stupid.
>>23619077>>23619077Cry some moar faggot. Maybe itll ease the butthurt.
>>23619100Posting from his cell phone:
>>23619066Quit sperging out over this.
Okay guys. Can someone tell me a little more about this "Raining snow upon the forest, then turning it into fire"That sounded hilarious.
>>23619197Agreed.>>23619181Only because its story tiem.
Now, let us do this in a hypothetical manner.If the PCs return to the feywild, to obtain their lost equipment, what will transpire, hypothetically?Well, the feywild is a big place, so they will get lost.getting lost means they will have to find a guide or ask directions.asking for directions or a guide will get them lied to.getting lied to got them dominated and robbed.So, we have a few options here, points where they can do things correctly.first off, to prevent being dominated, they could all use protection from evil, this will only prevent evil fey from dominating them, which means 100% odds of mind-control GM having his dominators be chaotic neutral. This is an unacceptable point at which to diverge from the previous entry to the feywild.To prevent being lied to, they could cast Zone of Truth. which makes lying difficult but not impossible. However, the GM will just secretly "make the rolls", so that he may lie through the zone. this is also unacceptable divergence point.To prevent needing to ask directions, they could get a map of the feywild. Sadly, due to the chaotic nature of that place, those don't exist. Also an unacceptable divergence point.
>>23619363They're not in the Feywild it seems, but in a generic enchanted forest. Much easier to navigate.
>>23619363 This leaves us with only one sensible option: Stay outside the fey wild.So now that we're outside, what can we do? We do what people on the outside who want in have always done: We lay siege.
>>23619395Oh, well in that case, canvas local mercenaries for a ranger who knows the enchanted forest well enough to get your stuff back. Paying a mercenary is probably the best way to navigate that place.
>>23619197Control Weather is a common druid spell with a radius of miles.Energy substitution is a spell that allows you to exchange damage of one type for damage of another type.People caught in a blizzard created by control weather take cold damage unless they wear blizzard-appropriate winter clothes.Energy substitute fire for cold, now people caught in the blizzard will take fire damage.this is at least 30% wrong, but I'm fairly certain this is the basic jist of the method.
>>23619687My favorite part about that is that people would still have to wear heavy winter furs in order to stop from burning to death.
>>23619794>My favorite part about that is that people would still have to wear heavy winter furs in order to stop from burning to death.Well, it is still snow.
>>23616273I see you're doing some black mage logic here.Allow me to assist.although this plan will take a while, it should work.First, continue on your adventure as though nothing happened, gaining experience and MONEY on the way. invest it all into teleport enchantments, and drop that big ole slab o' cold iron on the fuckers. etch into the slab, in average sized letters, multiple casting of exploding runes with whatever expletives you feel appropriate. after this, burn down the forest. then, find some way to do the same thing, in essence, to EVERYTHING.
>>23616307>one of the moonsyou mean, ALL OF THE MOONS.
>>23619363Maybe they should hire help or get some assistance?They need money to get shit done anyways. Mighy as well hire/beg some stray Paladins into helping.
>>23619046Are you their DM?
>BURNING SNOWThis is amazing, /tg/.
>>23620478Why stop with burning snow? Acid snow. Lightning snow.Sonic snow.
>>23620394No and thats not the point. But its obviously an OOC problem of a fetishist not being funny. According to that anon.The OP is actually notbimplausible and fey arent required to be reasonable.Its entirely likely that something like thatvwouldbbe the result. Kinda like that guy whobposted the story about the hags in disguise murdering the shit out of Mister McHorny in the middle of a forest.Sounds exactly like something that would happen.
Even if you ignore the desire to get back at the GM, there is still nothing wrong with getting back at the FEY.The PCs in character would probably be out of their minds mad. Some of them actually went insane for a while, who knows if their alignments or personalities were affected. It's not unlikely for one or multiple to be affected by an intense desire for revenge.
>>23620517Alright. Say you were the player, and you were forced in the same circumstance. How would you respond?
>>23620501>Why stop with burning snow? Acid snow. Lightning snow.>Sonic snow.gotta snow fast
>>23620501>Lightning snow.finally, i have waited years to post this image and it's finally relevant
>>23620709I normally despise puns, but this one I shall abide.
>>23620724>i have waited yearsClearly. What version of IE is that?
>>23620772i don't even know anymore
>>23620772IE6. IE7 didn't come out until '06, and odds are that image is from '04.
>>23620797Check the bottom of the weather image on that screencap. November '04.That cap's been sitting there for quite some time. I applaud your perseverance >>23620724.
>>23619687Technically energy substitution is a feat, but everything else sounds about right.
>>23620724Holy shit. Your patience has finally paid off.
>>23620639>>23620639Try and get some help and then promise to pay the debt in deeds, no matter how risky or indignifying or humble.If it is clearly being railroaded into fetish territory, I declare War of the Gods and slap the DM IRL. I might get my ass kicked, might not, but crazy railroad fetish shit isnt happening. Its basically Story-Raping.Now, if it turns out our shit got scattered torn apart or whatever, I guess we start over and fuck that forest and become a lot more cautious. We still havebour levels, and if one of us is a Artificer/Wizard, they can temporarily enchant our new weapons to be acceptable until suitable reppacements are found.Also, if its economically viable for th nearby villagers, burn that motherfucking forest to the ground. Eventually. It might take a while to raise funds and propagate the cause, but it will fucking burn and the surviving/surrendering Fey enslaved and sold off to slave markets.
The main fuckup of the DM is that he apparently rolled the dice themselves, instead of telling the players to do so at all times.And the 98 out of 100 roll was also bullshit. That should habe been a rough landing.Although the PCs are undoubtely well known. So....get insanity cured, go home, check on available resources. If I have to, sell the mansion for a smaller house and some scry protection/new equipment.
>>23621132>whine about players being bitches>burn the forest to the groundIt's all a matter of degrees.
>>23619084>>23619094>>23619094You can bitch about something forever or actually do something about it.Im guessing the former is your preferred option.Oh and you honestly dont need to burn it all down, just enough. Comet shit is stil retarded.
>>23621132>If it is clearly being railroaded into fetish territoryWe already know the answers to this. Or at least, you do: do you consider what we've been told to be railroading? Do you consider it to be fetish territory?
>>23621186>>23621186Whining because you arent allowed to lolpocalypse over the slightest of slights is one thing, not being allowed to do the equivalent of leaving a stray match in Yellow Stone is another.Its a minor but important difference. Except at max level, since apotheosis is nigh ANYWAYS.
>>23621231>>23621231>>23620571So far its not that bad. Pervy but not that bad.Kinda hilarious actually.Anybody got that story of the group who barged into a orc/goblin cave full of vases with oil that a fighter had been smashing looking for loot, then a wizard threw a fireball and...The DM was furious. Funny but come one now. Thats dumb.Butbits one of thise things that is easily beleivable.
>>23621255>Its a minor but important difference. Except at max level, since apotheosis is nigh ANYWAYS.And here I thought you couldn't be any more of a pretentious faggot.
>>23621378>>23621378i could offer oral and then bite your dick and eat it and laugh as you inevitably beat me to death.
Love that rape pic.
>>236207249 years you waitedTHE QUEST IS COMPLETE
>>23624403>>23620724Holy crap, that pic is nine years old... OP: you know what you have to do:THUNDER SNOW.
>>23625293Think I wanna keep this awesomethread alive alittle longer.
>>23621186>It's all a matter of degrees.You mean a matter of degrees in how hot the forest gets when they burn it down, right? Heh....
Sounds like a lewd game, OP.