Barbarian. I takes the hits.

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Sorry for the missing week, gents, my schedule at work got juggled around and "I have a quest thread to run" apparently isn't a valid reason to call off. To punish myself for the missing time I just put on the 90s Double Dragon movie on Netflix.

The alignment axis wasn't put into place until the 90s, ffs.

Oh boy street fighter quest i am sure lucky today.
I would say dunno Ranger, we spend a lot of time outside with our uncle.

>>23523969
>To punish myself for the missing time I just put on the 90s Double Dragon movie on Netflix.

You missed a week, you didn't murder all our parents, no need to be that hard on yourself.

>>23523941
Ranger, we spent a lot of time doing wilderness survival stuff didn't we?

Favoured Enemy: Gangs.

"Chaotic Good Rogue, i guess. I hit people with improvised weapons in unexpected places at inconvenient times. I rarely stick to plans and i like to beat up people that try to beat up innocent people."

>>23523941

"Bard. That's the one that gets laid all the time, right?"

>>23524120
After our performance with the waitress we rescued, we are not worthy of Bardhood.

suptg is down, in case someone here hasn't seen yet.

>>23523941

torn between rogue and ranger. chaotic good, most likely.

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"I...don't know?" you say. "I don't really play Dungeons and Dragons. Which one's the cool guy who gets the girls?"

"Bard. You are not bard," Saul says.

"You were telling us about your uncle earlier, right?" Tatsuya asks. "Spent a lot of time out in the woods?"

"Yeah, I guess. He taught me to fight out there."

"Ranger," Saul says.

"So we've got a paladin, a monk and a ranger. I've heard of worse party setups," Tatsuya says.

"Aren't those all just different kinds of fighters?" you ask.

Saul and Tatsuya begin laughing uproariously. This is what you get for just asking the first two people who don't beat you up to help out.

"I think that's it up ahead," you say, motioning to the others to quiet down. You've never been to this club, but the pulsing blue lights and the distant hum of bad music are a clue. A line stretches out from the door almost down an entire block.

>Plan?

>>23524235

an entire block?

no way are we getting in that way, not in our clothes anyway.

see if we can find different points of entry.

>dinner!

>>23524310
Sure lets get something to bite.

I'll throw my support behind Sidequest Dinner.

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>not many players today?

"Actually, you guys hungry?" you ask.

"Come to think of it, yeah," Tatsuya says.

"I was just going to eat after we finished fighting the gangs," Saul says.

"Yeah, but when we get here we're gonna have to beat up some guys, then we have to go find another guy and beat up his people, then we probably have to fight a bear or an evil circus or whatever. I'm just saying, I'm already hungry and I don't think we'll get another chance to eat for awhile."

"Fine, fine," Saul says in his thick germanic accent. "What do you want to eat?"

"You're the one who's always out doing vigilante stuff. What's open?" Tatsuya asks.

"Pizza place a block over," Saul says. "Food's lousy but it's open til three."

"Sounds good. I could kinda use a chance to unwind," you say.

>roll 1d100 and present a miniboss

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Rolled 26

>>23524567
Willy Cash Pizza baker and pelvic fracturer

>>23524656
I forgot to add he is also a German battle rapper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aj7TDTiw-eo

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Bumping? If this turns into something with just one player it becomes That Quest.

>>23524851
Wait i could ask a bro to join and sorry for suggesting Willy cash.

Rolled 71

>>23524567

I request Evil Frasier from a few threads back.

>>23524567
A man dressed up in pizza boxes painted black and covered in fake spiky bits, a Blackguard rival to Saul.

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Rolled 65

Its... the pope? Wait, he does not look like John Paul II. Must be a cosplayer... Anyways, his divine aikido is not to be underestimated...

Rolled 83

>>23524903
Forgot to roll

>>23524893

Don't be, Willy Cash is awesome.

...actually, he looks almost exactly like one of my managers back when I worked at a pizza place for awhile. This is kinda weird.

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>>23524910

>Pizza Blackguard it is

A bell rings as you open the door of the pizza place. It's a comforting noise. A comforting place - dily lit, the aroma of fresh-baked pizza filling your nostrils, Springsteen playing on an old jukebox, punctuated by the occasional noise of an arcade game in the back. Two older gentlemen, one bald, one merely balding, stand behind the counter.

Oh, and about a dozen punks are sitting down eating pizza. They pushed some tables together to form one long one. Luckily they don't seem to have noticed you.

"Hey, Saul!" the bald one says in a German accent.

"Hey Willie," he says. The two begin rattling something off in German that you can't understand.

"You wanna try to eat and get out or do you wanna start something now?" Tatsuya leans over and asks.

"They might not be after us. They might just be...you know. Youths."

"One of them made armor out of cardboard and is holding a rusty sawblade like a sword. I think this goes beyond high-spirited hijinks," he says.

>Start a brawl.
>Try to leave quietly.
>Don't draw attention to yourselves. Get a box of pizza to go.

>>23525086

We're not gonna fight in a pizza parlor. Don't want to mess it up. Besides, the proprietor is Saul's friend. Eat here, take the brawl outside.

>>23525086

pizza is top priority, who knows maybe they're not as competent as they appear.

maybe take the pizza outside if they haven't noticed us by then.

>>23525086

Pizza now, brawl later.

>>23525086
Pizza first guys.

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"Let's try to order and go," you say. Tatsuya nods.

"One minute, boys, let me take that table their drinks," the merely-balding man of the duo says. He gives you a forced smile as he lifts a tray of soft drinks.

"Bad news," Saul says. The other German has come out from behind the counter and begun cleaning. "Willi says the gang here is on its way to the nightclub."

"So maybe we can fight them outside," Tatsuya says. "Take them out now, keep us from getting swarmed later." Out of the corner of your eye you see the owner distributing the sodas to everyone, smiling and laughing. The Cardboard Knight sits stoically, not attempting to eat or drink. Something about him just spells trouble.

"It gets worse. Nightclub is closed tonight to anyone who isn't part of Psycho Cogs. It's a trap."

"That's...huh. I did let that DJ go without tying him up or anything," you say. "Goddamnit."

"Well, you're new at this," Tatsuya says. "In any case, we're going to need an alternate plan."

"To get out from under that price on your head?" the owner says as he returns. "They're going to mob you until you fall. Of course, some people will turn on each other to make sure they're the only ones who get the reward..."

The punks at the table begin passing out one by one, face-first into their food. All but the cardboard knight, who stands without a word and draws his blade. You hear the distinct click of a door locking behind you. The bald German is pulling out a set of nunchucks.

The owner pulls out a pair of pizza cutters.
"But if you think you have another way to escape me, I'm listening.

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>>23525461
I cast summon bear

>>23525461
Perhaps you could try the delivery door, near their kitchen/warehouse. There's also paddle and frying pans powerups there if worse comes to worse.

>>23525461

and we were trying not to cause damage to their shop.

greedy pricks.

Rolled 77

>>23525461
>Flip table onto closest adversary

>>23525461
throw table at window.

leave

>>23525461
Try to grab a slice of pizza and run for it.

>>23525461
Are there any windows in the room?

>>23525644

Large front window.

Rolled 71

>>23525662
Stand up and ask the knight what he wants.

>>23525694

Your inventory at the moment is

SAUL:
Pipe
Keys

TATSUYA
Wallet with no money in it.
Beeper number to summon spear janitor as an assist.

JOE
$15.60
Driver's License

Ask them what they want, loudly.

>>23525730
>Driver's License

Well Were going to have to end this fight by Smashing that into someones forehead.
So they know who sent them to the hospital and all.

Still... Sure we cant get some of that pizza while we fight?

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>>23525730
>Beeper number to summon spear janitor as an assist.
We will be using this at some point.

assuming his luck is higher than E-rank

>>23525461
"Man, all I wanted was some dinner. Goddamn Cogs."
Grab a table, use it to lay out the knight, then chuck it through the window.

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"Flip a table!" you shout.

You grab one of the small ones meant for two people and hurl it at the German. He ducks, letting the table sail over his head and smash the window behind him, just as planned. It leaves jagged pieces of glass around the windowframe. You're going to need to buy time to clear those out if you don't want to cut the shit out of yourself when you go through.

Tatsuya hefts a nearby table over his head and throws it at the cardboard knight, slamming him against the wall. Probably ruined his neatly folded armor.

Saul slams the table nearest him with his pipe, launching it like a projectile at the owner. The owner slips the projectile and glides forward in a single smooth motion. You think you catch hints of Crane Style in what he's doing, but what do you know, you trained sambo.

>Plan?

>>23525842
Grab pizza, dive through window while eating pizza

>>23525730
Say you will give them 16,50$ e switch to your side also yo will not wreck they're shit.

>>23525842
Let's close on the owner, get some joint locks going. Is that a thing Sambo does? I don't really know.

Alternately, offer money for pizza, and to be on our way.

Rolled 58

>>23525842
Rush the owner. Or use a chair as a weapon, while attacking.

>>23525842
>RulesOfNature.jpg

>>23525842

we need a chair to clear out the glass from the window.

>>23525887
This also say they will get 16.50$ if they switch sides.

>>23525842
Let Saul handle the pizza guy, knights are kinda like turtles, right? Crane's natural enemy. Tatsuya can handle the mobs, no problem. Use a chair to clear the debris. Grab pizza healthkits as needed.

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"I'll buy a pizza if you change sides!" you shout.

"Pizza isn't worth the hundred grand they're offering for your head," the Crane guy growls as he slashes at your chest. You hop back, mind reeling. A hundred grand? All you did was stop a mugging, surely that's not worth that much?

"Tatsuya, Saul, get the others!" you shout. TIME FOR SAMBO.

>roll 1d22. The number furthest away from 10 will be taken for the result.

Rolled 16

>>23525999
Pick him up and use him to clear the glass.

Rolled 20

>>23525999
Time for DISARMS

Rolled 61

>>23525999
Rollin

Rolled 4

>>23525999
Go for the nuts, end it quickly

Rolled 13

>>23526022
Ha ha ha, 122. Legit Roll this time.

Rolled 4

>>23525999
GUT HIM WITH HIS OWN PIZZACUTTERS! Which, if memory serves right, they are not that sharp.

Rolled 16

>>23526073
What is this, revengeance?

Rolled 2

>>23526073
Mortal Kombaaaaaaaaaaaaat!

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>>23526017

You wait until he makes another one of those broad slashing strikes at you. A child could read an attack telegraphed so badly. You sidestep easily and grab his wrist. It's short work to armbar him into submission.

Of course, now that you've got him in a subission hold you guess you have to hold onto him for awhile? You didn't think this through.

>switch to Tatsuya
>switch to Saul

>>23526239
>switch to Saul

>>23526239
Where is Boss Honda?

>>23526239

>switch to Boss Honda

but seriously, switch to Saul.

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You are Saul, kind of a knight-themed guy.

"You would ally yourself with such dishonorable men, brother?" you ask the German with the nunchucks. In German, of course. It feels good to speak your native tongue.

"It is a terrible age we live in, my friend," he says, twirling the nunchucks, watching for an opening. You keep the pipe between you, defensive. "But the Order must adapt or be left behind."

"And yet you cast me out as an abomination," you sneer. "

"And you fled to America? It's not very...progressive, you might say, in regards to your kind."

>roll 1d20, same rules as before

Rolled 1

>>23526474
Sounds like some history lessons ought to be told.

Rolled 2

>>23526474
SMITE THE TRAITOROUS BASTARD!

Rolled 10

>>23526550
>>23526533
Holy crap.

Rolled 11

>>23526533
It's just a flesh wound!

Rolled 3

>>23526533
Aw, hell no.

>>23523981
Come and laugh at how wrong and stupid this guy is, /tg/. Look at him. So wrong. So stupid.

Rolled 12

>>23526533
RIP Saul

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>>23526533
>>23526550
>>23526697

Lars lashes out with the nunchucks, wrapping them around the pipe and tearing it from your hands like a whip. It'd remind you of Indiana Jones if you had seen it. Instead you think of Dokter Honda, Zeit Polizist, a show from the 40s that you saw a few episodes of. He used a whip in an episode ,didn't he? You're pretty sure.

You're also pretty sure that last move wasn't physically possible, come to think of it. Something's gone wrong.

>Disarmed! Roll 1d16 for combat!

Rolled 2

>>23526823
Justice will prevail!

Rolled 2

>>23526823

Rolled 4

>>23526823
That could've gone better.

Rolled 13

>>23526533
alas, poor saul

I missed the start of the quest, my bad. Also, I went and got myself Knights of the Round for the SNES since you brought it up, SFM. That game is so silly and so much fun.

Rolled 15

>>23526823
Time to leave behind the silly renaissance antics and to learn a proper style, as befitting of a champion of justice.

Rolled 2

>>23526937
Actually IIRC, knights often resorted to wrestling? Otherwise, I dunno. Pankration?

Rolled 7

>>23526868
>>23526886
>>23526979
>>23526697
>>23526533
>>23526550

Did we do something to offend the dice gods?

>>23526990
That or it's the shitty dice algorithm /tg/ is using. Apparently, the random generator is based on your post's timestamp.

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>>23526868
>>23526886

You're less familiar with unarmed combat, but not entirely amateur at it. You're also younger, stronger and faster than Lars.

The nunchuck strikes your shoulder as you tackle Lars through what remains of the window, causing something to pop and hurt like hell. You try pushing yourself up with it as the two of you roll in the street only to collapse to the ground in pain.

"Risky, but smart," Lars mutters as he comes to his feet. Blood is dripping down his side - some of the glass still in the windowpane stuck him in the side. That's just straight up gross. "Get back to your weapon, try to negate my advantage."

You push yourself up with your good arm, searching for where your pipe wound up in the street, praying to a god you're no longer sure is listening as Lars raises the nunchucks.

>switch to Tatsuya
>switch to Joe

>>23527198

Tatsuya!

>>23527198
>switch to Tatsuya

>>23527198
Tatsuya

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>be Tatsuya

The Cardboard Knight you squashed with a table roars to the gods, picks up one of his unconscious goons and hurls it at you.

You fucking love this guy's style.

>roll 1d20 for Kyokugen!

Rolled 11

>>23527356

Rolled 13

>>23527356
Hadouken!

Rolled 13

>>23527356
Let's take the goon he throws at us and just kick him right back at him. Bam.

Rolled 16

>>23527356
FIREBALL WAR WOO!

>>23527356
Slap that fucker right back!
Also wasn't the name of the guy Willie not Lars what is going on and what is Sauls past?

Rolled 7

>>23527403
Fuck sorry wrong field.

Rolled 1

>>23527356
KYOKUGENRYU TIME

Rolled 3

>>23527356
Punch him in the face!

Rolled 19

>>23527440
Man, what is wrong with our rolls today? After the beating we are going to take, we should call it a day.

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>>23527403

....Willie's what he goes by, Lars is the name those in the mysterious order know him by?

Alternately I was playing Street Fighter X Tekken between posts, forgot the Willie name and stuck Lars on because I just lost to some guy online with a Lars/Kazuya team and thought Lars sounded German.

Herman, Helmut, Hartmut And Reiner that are German names also one line from a Willie Cash song is means literally "I used to be a pizza baker now i am battle rapper, knife stabber, pelvic fracturer

>>23527479
Isn't Lars a quarter-austrian or something like that

>goodnight gentlemen.
>i wish you luck.

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>>23527440

You have a plan. You're gonna catch this guy and toss him back with a Ko'ohken behind him, like one giant on-fire projectile. You even start charging the ko'ohken.

You're so busy with it you completely forget the guy being thrown at your face until his skull connects with your face.

Goddamnit.

>Going to call it here for now. Kind of a slower day than expected, we'll pick up the pizzeria situation tomorrow.

>>23527835
Ok thanks for the quest

>>23527835
That image is so freaking wrong...

>>23527898

Thanks for reading!

>>23527915

I've never tried getting heroin addicts to play Street Fighter to see what happens. Maybe it depends on the drug?

>>23527835
Thanks for the funny quest. Hope to see ya around. Any plan for the next thread? Date? Time? Place?

>>23528031

Most likely tomorrow around roughly 1pm.

>>23528167
I'm here to say I only found this thread because of the catalog (which, being a britfag, I call a catalogue).

SFM, if you're still lurking: you may need a twitterfeed or something to announce when you'll be on.

>>23525842
>MGR Final Boss fight

>>23528836

In the old days of the original SFQ things were running every weekday, so there wasn't much need to alert people. Creating a twitter page for it felt sorta self-indulgent. (I'm not saying it's bad when quests do that, but it made the most sense for quests that didn't have a regular schedule.) Might not be a bad idea for SOF though.

I feel like I should be creating supplemental materials or something for the post-quest while I'm around, but the universe of this thread isn't so different from ours that it needs much filling out or anything and the system is basically "roll above or below ten, size of dice is modified by circumstances." Joe can use sambo against single opponents so he gets a boost, Saul is disarmed and is weakened, et cetera.