But the best part? The BEST part. The best part is that Zom has a jug of booze on her.

Which is, of course, why you are currently hurtling through the air faster than should be humanly possible, frothing at the mouth and screaming at the top of your lungs as you seek the cure-all to your problems.

Life is good indeed.

[Roll 1d20 for Super Hobo Acrobatic Booze Snatch]

Rolled 9

>>23461447

Salutations my good Hobo King. You have been missed...

So, back to business;

DELICIOUS BOOZE!!! WE MUST HAVE IT!!!

Rolled 2

What the hell. Ibm- inm- drink booze!

Rolled 5

>>23461447
what the hell are fritz and ilona doing while we're babbling at these two undead girls anyways?

Rolled 12

>>23461447
>absent for two weeks
>return for two days
>nothing much interesting going on
>suddenly, Hoboquest thread
Ayup.

Rolled 12

>>23461630

probably being very confused at the fact we are speaking Necromantic, thusly a series of moans and screams. possiably mistaking our charge for Booze as an attack on Zom...

More Rolls to feed the HK

Rolled 5

Welcome back, in celebration I shall open bottle with Lincoln. That single malt liquor.

Pour it down, everything, in one go.

Rolled 11

>>23461447

Rolled 17

>>23461447
ZOMBIE LOVE FOREVER!

Rolled 10

>>23462088
ZOMBIE BOOZE FOREVER!

File: 1362211574135.jpg-(160 KB, 422x422, Welcome to die.jpg)

160 KB JPG

Rolled 17

>>23461447
>all these terrible rolls
Its good to be back.

And not a 20 in sight. Glorious.

No 1s yet, but give them time.

Rolled 15

>>23462265
A 20 you say?

BYRON BLESS THESE DICE!

Rolled 15

>>23462265
It's like, we are forced to temp god of dice.

Rolled 7

>>23462465
Temp the god you say?

NEVER, I choose furious battle against him, until he submits to my will!

Rolled 17

>>23462465
>we are forced to temp god of dice.
>temp
Nah, intern gods never work out.

Rolled 7

>>23462560
The time with Lucy down in accounting was pretty good man, so you can't say it's always bad.

Rolled 8

>>23462265
I AWAKE TO GLORIOUS HOBOQUEST.

HAVE MY DICE, OH HOBOLORD.

Rolled 8

>>23462591
That's not a 20 OR a 1. I feel betrayed dice. Do you hate me so?

Rolled 15

I do believe this is the only quest where someone might delete a crit success in hopes of getting a crit fail later.

Rolled 11

Observe.

Rolled 9

[ ] IMBIBE LIQUOR
[ ] IMBIBE LIQUOR AGAIN

Rolled 9

>>23462650
Ahem. That was my warm-up.

Rolled 3, 6, 12, 4, 16, 15, 11, 14, 6, 1 = 88

>>23462265
rollan

Rolled 1

It's just a matter of time until the mystrious effects this quest has on the dice gods takes hold.

Rolled 11

>>23462718
oh god yes

File: 1362215164110.jpg-(24 KB, 209x230, Honking intensifies.jpg)

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Rolled 14

>>23462718
HERE WE GO-

>>23462718

I knew waiting until I had made it home was a good idea.

Heheheheheh.

Rolled 3

...Why have we all stopped rolling?

Rolled 8

>>23462718
Couldn't get any better.

Rolled 15

>>23462777
dunno we could still try for another 1

captcha:pressure eyetroll
what are you saying to me captcha?

Rolled 1

>>23462718
Bro, kiss me. No homo.

Rolled 10

I'm feeling lucky

Rolled 17

Needs more rolls in here.

Rolled 5

>>23462801
Dont shit up this quest with your faggotry, too.

File: 1362221107262.png-(204 KB, 341x272, NOW BACK TO THE GOOD PART.png)

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Rolled 7

>>23462718
Starting with the vore quite early in the thread I see.

Rolled 15

>>23461447
Even in England I still roll

Rolled 16

Damn you HK why do you have to post these when I'm asleep!

Either way rollin' and drawing a new title card.

Rolled 6

Oh glorious 1, don't fail me now.

Rolled 4

>>23463669
Close enough.

Rolled 1

>>23463388

out of 33 rolls, we have 0 20s but 2 1s...
or if you include >>23462697
43 rolls with 0 20s and 3 1s...
Obviously the Dice Gods have decided that Lincoln needs to WORK for his Booze...

casting another die, JIC...

Rolled 2

>>23463675
Getting better

Rolled 20

>>23463682

oh, the thrice cursed Irony of it all...

is redemption a possibility, or has all hope been lost?

Rolled 14

>>23463682
That's what I like to see
>>23463683
Still closer

Rolled 19

>>23463686
WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE?!

Rolled 20

>>23463686
What have you done indeed.

>>23463686

0_0

seriously!?

i'm going to stop rolling as the Dice Gods are obviously trolling now...

>>23463696
provided a success after 4 bouts of Undead Booze related Vore?

>>23463705

you know, between my 20 and yours, HK is going to be mildly annoyed about having to deal with them after his vore session...

>>23463720
Lincoln required that booze anyway. It was getting to the point of inhumane torture.

Rolled 10

You know, for some reason I'd like to see some non-Lincoln-centric vore now. Normally it goes like "Lincoln gets vored. Oh, and everyone else gets eaten too." I'd like to see some focus on the other members of the cast.

>>23463747

true. very true...

File: 1362227111876.jpg-(35 KB, 340x510, MCdouchewaffle.jpg)

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Rolled 19

while we wait for HK to make the vore here's a (bad) drawing of MC.douchewaffle, fat people feel wrong to draw....

Rolled 16

>>23464075
>MC douchewaffle
And now I want to see him with some bling on and rapping into a mic. Goddammit me.

Rolled 20

>>23464108
that would be a frightening sight to see

>>23464133

not only that, but we have now equalised the 1s with 20s...

Rolled 15

>>23464156
Is this a good thing?

Rolled 17

>>23464312
Yes. But we could always do with more of each.

Topic of Discussion while waiting for HK to return;

'Who will be the next target for HOBO DIPLOMACY!?'

do we go and bring P&L to the warring bees & ants? do we enter 'Mount Lizard' to melt the hearts of the Lizard faction? do we head to the coast and deal with a fishy situation to get 'down to business' with the Fish people & Mermaids? do we show the Demon nobility the full extent of our Swag? do we Clean out our castle of Douchewaffles? or do we ignore all those places and do some side quests?

The Choice, Is Yours...

Only on Hobo-Quest; The Founding of Hobotopia

Rolled 15

>>23464432
Any chances of Dryad Girls?

File: 1362231081256.jpg-(27 KB, 800x800, kraken.jpg)

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>>23464432
My vote is for the coast.

>>23464432
my votes for the reclamation of our castle, then hobo swag the demons, and somewhere in between here and there we need to bang Zuli

Rolled 15

>>23464552
Naah man, for Zuli we need to find her twin, then we have a twincest threesome because it'll cure her emotional vulnerablity or some such.

>>23464449

One would assume that Dryad Girls would live in a Forest environment. Thusly, knowing that the coast is a Beach/Ocean environment, 'Mount Lizard' and the Demon Nobility's domain are Mountainous environments and the Human Lands are now a Zero-Monster-Girl environment; that leaves the Bee & Ant domain, which is mostly forest environments with subterranean areas; therefore, your best bet for the acquisition of Dryad Girls...

>>23464608
Truer words, have yet been spoken...

Once again, I have forgotten to post the links earlier...

Story Book;
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QmsMoDt0fmOclLoslO4vchn04oTdqmdPdZd_7roTYXU/edit

Hues & Undos;
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yNxtD2LOcLrQpM-c9EGLpNLqHPpf4tT2RbtDU-Xs7oQ/edit

Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. That'll teach me to smoke too late in the evening. Heh. You all speak of Dryads.....yuk yuk.

Sorry for passing out on you all. I'll get back to it as soon as I can manage to get the morning in order.

Rolled 12

>>23466293
I guess you could say that >>23464449 ...has wood.

>>23466293
It might be residual from Blatant Fetish Quest and the daaawwwww'ing over our blind dryad daughteru.

Rolled 10

>>23464449
One is in lesbians with a fire girl if I recall us getting a nat 20 on that.

>>23466904

Yes, i believe so... we were thinking of ways to solve the inherent problem between the two of them physically getting together...
then spec ops Illiana & jet Moira happened...

File: 1362253655679.png-(30 KB, 700x250, huehuehue.png)

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Rolled 14

>>23466293

Hey HK, not a full title card, but I have some other projects on my hands, hope you don't mind.

Probably gonna draw this as a full 'magazine' cover with stuff like 'Don't get lost! A 1:20 scale diagram of Lamia digestive system' or 'Exclusive interviews: A veteran voreyour's experience!"

>>23468502
Oh dear god that's glorious. I'm so glad I managed to get my damn internet working again to see this.

LAN parties are the biggest clusterfuck of cords and network management you will ever see, I swear.

>>23468692
Hey do you want me to archive this for ya?

Rolled 1

>>23468692
>LAN parties are the biggest clusterfuck of cords and network management you will ever see, I swear.

Never participated in one, so I'll take your word for it.

Also - Anyone archiving this?

>>23468818
Archive what? all hobo king has done is post the Op and ask for rolls, there's nothing /to/ archive.

File: 1362254827653.gif-(24 KB, 210x200, 1581.gif)

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Rolled 17

>>23468818

Well that anerws my question.

>>23468842
>pic related

>>23468502
There could also be an Advice section, where people write in asking for relationship advice, such as;
"There's this girl I know, we're good friends but I'm not sure what Slimes look for in a partner..."
or
"I'm going out with this Werebat girl but she keeps trying to dominate me. I mean, I like her, but I'm not really comfortable with that kind of stuff... What should I do? Stay together and hope she drops it, or just leave her?"


>>23468692
It is true, Once we tried networking up 20 computers... I swear we managed to turn the cable bundles into a giant electromagnet... I fear that had we used 5 more, we might have accidentally jury-rigged up a particle accelerator...

>>23468860
I apologize profusely for this, by the way. It's been an extremely busy past couple of weeks, and even now I'm still running around trying to get stuff done. I'm working steadily on the next post or two, and hopefully I can get them done before the sun explodes or something.

Rolled 17

>>23468957

Ideas seem good, but as I said - It's going to be only the cover and a parody of all those cheap tabloibs. So it's probably going to be: "!!!HOT!!! Monstergirl dating tips from known* experts!" or "BREAKING STORY!: Man sticks his **** into a slime, slime turns out to be non-sentient!"

*opinion subjective

>>23469031
I'm not particularly angry about it, but it seems rather masturbatory to archive a thread with no actual content.

This is going to sound rather odd for me, but I think I finally have time to finish these posts up. However, I don't feel like I'm in the right state of mind to make something amusing. Does anyone have anything they can throw at me to get me laughing again? I'm not going to turn out anything worth reading as stressed as I am.

Rolled 3

>>23471635
If a dryad falls in a forest, and no hobo is around to help her up, does she shed a tear?

>>23471950
Alright, the veiled threat of "get back to work, you lazy writefag" made me laugh, I'll admit.

Rolled 1

>>23471999
Do Zom and Skel share a pair of eyes?

>>23472131
............my, somebody's sharp. I think that's the first time someone's picked up on something that I've hinted at before I actually revealed it.

Also, you gave me another 1, which makes me happy.

Rolled 9

>>23472155
That's pretty cool. I don't suppose the eyes belong to them, do they?

>>23472155

on a tangent-ly related matter regarding the eyes... have you ever seen 'Grim Tales'? I ask as a similar thing is done in that...


>>23472180
If I were to make a guess based on available information and likely situations; I would theorise that they originally belonged to Zom, who gave one of them to Skel for one reason or another. Likely reasons for the offering of an eye could include; Gift to cheer Skel up (assumes depression over being a skeleton and having no organs. maybe a a memory of often being complimented on her eyes?), a Romantic Token/Gesture (it is a unique gift of something that is truly 'a part of Zom'). These two are the most likely motivations behind it.

then again, I may be completely wrong, and they just thought it would be more amusing if they had one eye each...

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>>23472155
I think this image sums up Fritz's thoughts on how Lincoln keeps picking up girls fairly well.

>>23472180
You got one admittance out of me, you shan't get another. Nice try, though.

>>23472295
I have read "Grim Tales", yes. I am a voracious reader, and spend a good deal of my time trawling the internet for new stories to read.

>>23472310
An appropriate image indeed.

File: 1362266586510.jpg-(272 KB, 935x959, 1359793696882.jpg)

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Lamias cannot intuit pants.

Rolled 20

>>23472295
I think they might have stolen them off someone they ate.

File: 1362267142773.png-(169 KB, 1000x1000, Lamia cant into pants.png)

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Rolled 5

>>23472364
>I am a voracious reader
>voracious
lel
>>23472391
Truly they cannot.

Rolled 1

>>23472394
I just got a wonderful idea. So if zombies can integrate parts of dead humans/monstergirls/creatures would it be possible to give one wings or other useful limbs and make some kind of frankensteinesque super-monstergirl?

Rolled 9

>>23473035
Lamia tail Zombiegirl?

I can see it.

Or do you mean giving them a boob upgrade?

Rolled 18

>>23473035
also we need to find out just how these zombies spread if they do spread. If being raised from the dead by necromancers are out then are they spread by infection or by dying on tainted ground or are they limited to the amount they already have?

Rolled 2

>>23473095
why not both? The customisation of zombies add to both their appeal and their capacity to be absolutely awesome as soldiers who never tire, have very limited ways of being killed and can repair all their wounds using the corpses of enemies as spare parts.

>>23472560
Oi! The proper file name of that image is "Lamia can't out of pants"

You still with us HK?

>>23474612
Remember when I said I was busy? Yeah, everything decided to happen at once this weekend. Had to go pick up my uncle from the airport; thankfully, he's capable of doing his own thing, so he won't be much of an interruption.

Iiiiinteresting conversation you all have been having here. Funny you should bring up some of those points. Just saying.

>>23475160

forgive my speculation and theoretical motivations. A bad habit I have. Helps at work, not so much when involving myself in leisure activities such as this...

Would you like me to try and sketch Skel & Zom in the 'Grim Tales' style? I believe that it would not only be fitting, but help deal with certain... 'Anatomical Issues', shall we say...

>>23475245
Like I said, draw whatever the hell you please. I like artwork.

>>23475417

what kind of hair styles did you in-vision them having?

please choose 2 from the attached image OR provide relevant sample image(s)

>>23475779
I imagine one of them, probably Skel, having one of those floppy side-mohawks. Not intentionally, mind you, but because the rest of her scalp on the other side is nothing but skull bone.

The word is envision, by the way.

File: 1362279798801.jpg-(67 KB, 1232x698, Hair Styles 1-8.jpg)

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>>23475779

THIRCE CURSED IMAGE UPLOADER!!!

hopefully it will work this time...

Rolled 13

>>23475871
Zom could be mostly bald, with whatever is left in an off-centre mohawk?

Skell is polished to a mirror finish.

Zom has hair of various lengths and consistencies that exists in a patchwork fashion, and they're not all the same color.

Skel is a fucking skeleton, and has no hair, obviously.

Rolled 5

>>23476216
And now I'm imagining Zom using Skel as a hair model for whatever new hair she finds before attaching it to her own patchwork scalp.

Rolled 18

>>23476216
I dunno, I'd find it amusing if (due to some magical bullshittery) Skel had an afro or some strange shit.

>>23476216

OBJECTION!!!
I bring page 2 of Grim Tales to your attention. In that image, there is Clearly a tuft of hair on the Skeleton character.


Back to Business; the work is underway. I shall be applying 'Colour' to this image... the results of such an endeavor are unknown, so consider yourselves forewarned...


mayhap Skel could have a backpack or trunk filled with wigs or some such...

File: 1362281621472.png-(200 KB, 379x364, Afroskeleton.png)

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Rolled 2

>>23476327
Or you just like this show.

new question. Attire.

what kind of cloathing did you want them to have?
dresses (if so, what length) suits, jeans & t-shirt...

I'm honestly still debating that, a bit.

Skel doesn't currently have any clothes at the moment. Putting her IN clothes is the treat. Just a suggestion.

Zom is wearing clothes that look like they were jury-rigged together in the most horrible fashion. Imagine trying to make a vaudevillian minstrel outfit out of what you could dig up in a graveyard.

>>23476889

so i have the pleasure to attempting to draw a full skeletal structure...

well, this sketch suddenly got a lot more questionable...

Doing so now, regardless...

I'm going to draw her resting her hands in her pelvis... Nothing innuendo-esk there. Nothing at all...

>>23476968

Would it be easier/better if I had Skel clad in the torn remnants of a dress that hangs off her skeletal structure? 'Cause I like that image too.

Also, between you guys and the alcohol, I think I'm getting past this little 'bout of writers block. HUZZAH!

Your aerodynamically impressive flight path is suddenly interrupted by the surprisingly ironclad grip of Zom's arm, smashing your face into her palm and leaving you awkwardly hanging in midair.

"Mrrrrgpppgh!?!?" Your complaint is muffled by her hand, though in consolation, she smells quite strongly of booze. Or formaldehyde. Same difference.

"Hold on there, bud. This stuff ain't for free. Zombie's gotta make an unliving, yeah?" Zom grins, holding you at arm's length as you weakly flail in grumpy protest.

"Mrggpphrhrrmpphrmnrrrph? (What do you want from me?)" You mumble through the cover of her rotting palm.

Zom puts a finger to her mouth, thinking for a moment, before breaking into a unexpectedly sinister-looking grin. "Ahhhh, nothing much, fleshie. Just a taste of your mind, is all."

Well, that doesn't sound so baOHGODTHAT'SNOTWHATYOUTHOUGHTSHEMEANT.

You scream into Zom's grip as Skel, having snuck up behind you in your crazed dive for the alcohol, digs a sharpened bone into your scalp and begins cutting. You flail, fighting against the grinning zombiegirl and the excruciating pain as you attempt to free yourself. But the zombiegirl's grip is like steel, and you only find yourself able to scream as Skel continues her gruesome butchery.

"Awwwww, I didn't want it to hurt THAT much.....tell ya what, I'll help you out." Zom throws you a wink as she suddenly thrusts you closer to her, positioning your head (Skel and her bone knife still in tow) right below her own. Opening her mouth, she begins to.....drool?

From the moment the drool slathers over the growing wounds in improbably copious amounts, the pain dulls and lessens, shrinking until it actually inverts and, almost to your horror, begins to feel good. There is a weird sense of pleasure as the bone slices through your skin, even though you know it can't be healthy getting your head cut open. To make matters worse, Zom shifts the placement of her arm, gently setting you on the ground while still retaining her entrapment. She shifts her arm, snaking her hand inside your pants and beginning to rub your already-growing member.

You try to continue your protests, but the drool seems to have sapped all your strength and sense. Your jaw hangs slack as you weakly look at Zom, a pleading look in your eyes. Whether you're pleading for a halt or for more, you can't be sure.

"Enjoying it? Thought you would. I'm not cruel, yeah?" Zom snickers, increasing the effort in her stroking, squishy hand, which feels pleasantly cool to the touch. Skel, having finished cutting, lifts your scalp away, revealing the skull underneath. You barely manage to register as she taps and strokes the exposed bone, and feel a crawling sensation as it parts beneath her fingers, leaving your brain exposed.

"Finally! The best part. Bon appetit!" Zom happily explains as she puts her mouth to work on your exposed mind. She licks and sucks at the neural tissue, savoring it before she begins to scoop it into her mouth in dainty handfuls. Skel merely watches, having placed your scalp on her own skull like some sort of demented wig.

You feel your thoughts decaying as more and more of your brain is devoured. And yet, you still have the presence of mind to feel your dick explode as Zom works you to an orgasm, even as your mind degenerates, your body fails, and you fall into oblivion.

Dead kind of her.

>BRAIN VORE HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

File: 1362284712341.jpg-(64 KB, 854x888, Skel & Zom.jpg)

64 KB JPG

one colour sketch of Skel & Zom...

Rolled 6

>>23477201
Is it bad that I have very little trouble mentally picturing the vore scenes because I'm a little worried about my state of mind.

>>23478353

If anything, it is a compliment to HK for creating such a vivid description of the event, allowing for ones mind to easily convert it into a mental image.

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Rolled 8

i'm still curious what happens if i roll a 20 asking for vore, preferably on e of the disposable not-bruces being vored to death by something new, or the portal itself or johnson, or vice-versa

>>23478610

To be honest, we've had 20's been rolled on calls for vore before...
I think we get Omake vore....
nope, that was just the sub-quests...

I can't recall what happened, only that HK would get excited over it...

Then there was the time when someone was noko-ing 1d1's.... HK was not a happy hobo over that...

and then there is the 'additional content' vores... if there is a surplus of 1s, HK does enjoy reading others renditions of 'Bad Ends'...

I assume that you have read though the 'Book of HUEs & UNDOs' several times, yes? If not, feel free to do so. It might aleviate the symptoms of a thirst for vore...
all hail crappy puns. not quite the greatest vore based punnery you may ever hear...

Rolled 1

rolling again for johnson to get vored by the portal

>>23478825

firstly, technically we ALL got vored by the portal. just rather than digestive systems or death, we ended up in the Glorious world of RIFTIA!!!

secondly, mayhap this will be the second instance of being vored by the concept of being vored... a vore in a vore... the Vore-odox... Vore to the power of Vore...

the thought train has disappeared. Please wait for the next one to arrive at the platform...

Rolled 4

my thing is that the vore is technically non-cannon i want vore to actually happen
rolling again for johnson getting vored, bonus points if he somehow survives and is royally pissed about it when lincoln gets back, assuming he ever lives that long

Rolled 18

>>23478912
>Riftia is actually inside the digestive tract of a giant dimension-eating beast
>the reason the portal opened on earth is that said beast has begun to feast upon our reality
>the result of said beast eating two realities at once is Generation A
ITS VORE ALL THE WAY DOWN, JOHNSON!

Rolled 14

rolling again for johnson getting vored, bonus points if he somehow survives and is royally pissed about it when lincoln gets back, assuming he ever lives that long
huehbuehhueheuehue

>>23478998
Or is it?

Rolled 1

rolling again for johnson getting vored, bonus points if he somehow survives and is royally pissed about it when lincoln gets back, assuming he ever lives that long
is it just shit that lincoln sees in his alchohol fueled hallucinations?

>>23479282

i swear, you must be in cahoots with the dice gods or something...

Rolled 5

two 1's on my posts the hue is strong with this one, rolling to transdiminsionally offer lincoln my bottle of everclear, to speed up his intoxication and subsequent hobo swag

Rolled 17

lincold is sober, does not compute
rolling to transdiminsionally offer lincoln my bottle of everclear, to speed up his intoxication and subsequent hobo swag

File: 1362293245089.jpg-(208 KB, 1100x518, booze.jpg)

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Rolled 4

my hobo swag shall tear the dimensional barrier asunder, here lincoln take my booze and ascend to your true station! the hobo king shal live forever, with his adamantine liver!!!!

Rolled 20

Last bump before I let this fall off.

If this thread is still live come tomorrow, I promise I'll be able to do more for it. If not, I can promise I'll be able to restart it within the day. My performance has been atrocious, and I MUST make amends.

Rolled 15

>>23481610
>>23481769
NEED THE BOOZE. CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT

status update;

138 posts

16 images

1 vore piece

0 updates


conclusion
Least productive thread thus far.

solution
Rapid fire updates
OR
Initiate Sub-Quest
OR
Player made Vore/Bad End

Rolled 18

>>23482836
QUICKLY INITIATE ANGRY GENERAL SUB QUEST! WE MUST BE PISSED AT LINCOLNS ALCOHOL FUELED HOBO GENIUS! or any other sub quest we have

Rolled 14

>>23481769
well at least we know the quest isn't dead thats something right?

File: 1362330607570.jpg-(40 KB, 800x800, 525458_152090938283042_43(...).jpg)

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bumping to keep this thing alive

>>23481769
It's really too bad. I decide to spend my day in my hotel room drinking, and Hoboking is making me sad. Well, time for more booze...on a business trip!

Also, goddamn England, everything is fucking expensive here

>>23484615

Its not expensive... it's just we no longer have the level of Industry to mass produce as much goods as we used to...

Damned EU...


also, I am working on some more notes to revive Angry General Sub-Quest. I'm going to set this one in Riftia. How interested would everyone be in it's resurrection?

>>23484783
compared to my beloved Murrican dollar and the paycheck that I receive in said dollars, it's expensive. Hell, even Japan 1 month ago was cheaper than this! Thank christ the company pays for most of my stuff here. I'd go broke

>>23484783
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqQ6Z-HmAqY

File: 1362336324248.jpg-(56 KB, 537x930, orangedriver.jpg)

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bumping for the hoboking...with the nastiest fucking hood liquor of all time

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Rolled 17

>>23485782

Step it up son, pic related.

I'm trying to draw something to keep this thread alive but it's not easy. Ever tried to draw knee-high socks on a batgirl?

>>23486301
if you're claiming that there's alcohol nastier than Orange Driver, you've obviously never tried Orange Driver. It tastes like someone fermented an orange in their asshole then had someone squeeze the juice out from there.

And no, I've never tried drawing that...because I can't draw at all

You are General Williams, Recently assigned to 'Liberate' the newly discovered world of 'RIFTIA' (Damned Hobo Naming things). Obviously, this is just what the politicians are calling it. Your actual orders are to secure this new world for the UN. most likely, this decision is based on the fact that this world has a medieval level of technology, meaning that their natural resources are likely mostly untouched allowing for mining operations to exploit this new source of raw materials. Of course, there is No Way that this is the reason for launching this 'secret' military action.

However, apart from the usual problems associated with combat logistics and supply lines, the portal is only just large enough for a vehicle to fit though, meaning that it will take a lot longer to establish any kind of beachhead in this new world. But worse than that; the main cause of all your Irritation and anger at the moment stem from one man. A man named Lincoln Bismuth. Not just any man, a BLOODY HOBO!!

If you weren't such a rational man, you might have considered that this whole situation regarding this new world was ENTIRELY HIS FAULT!

Luckly, at the moment he has left to do 'recon' and 'negotiate' with the various native 'Monster-Girl' species; something which you were ordered to 'recruit' him for. Great call Command, Great Call....

But you have more pressing concerns at the moment though. Mainly securing this side of the portal and planning fixed fortifications.

>>23486449

[ ] Assign order to troops (near recon, entrench, patrol schedules, ect)
[ ] Plan Fixed Positions with command staff and engineers
[ ] Imbibe Coffee
[ ] Other

Rolled 17

>>23486462
>[x] Imbibe Coffee
>[x] Plan Fixed Positions with command staff and engineers

>>23486394

I don't drink much, so no. I never tasted it and never will. But that thing I posted? Let me tell you - it's cheaper than one stick of bad chewing gum, and my brother says it tastes like the epitome of the word 'bad'. I'm just going to take his word for it, as I don't plan to have a liver transplant anytime soon.

>>23486462
>Plan Fixed Positions with command staff and engineers
even with only 1 vehicle at a time, you could still create some sort of "home base" on the other side
>>23486535
well...never try Orange Driver. I tried it one night in college because we were poor. Never. Again.

>>23486574
I am so glad I've never been that broke or hard up for booze that I'd sink to bum wine.

>>23487186
admittedly it was also because we were in college, had seen the stuff in the hood gas stations, and wanted to try something different. It didn't help that it was dirt cheap. Regardless. Never try it, it's horrible

>>23487261
how cheap can wine get, really? I mean we already sell quarts of it for under $5, at a certain point it stops being worthwhile to find cheaper stuff.

>>23487363
>wine
Oh, no no no. This stuff was 60 proof. Much stronger than wine. There's a huge difference between "wine" and "hobowine". IIRC it was like 6-7$ for a bottle, which was like 2/3 of a fifth.

>>23487363
Bumwine takes that low price and adds significantly higher alcohol content.

Rolled 87

>>23487422
Also, the flavors of shame and defeat.

Which is mostly of chemical "fruit" and too much sugar.

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>>23485782
>>23486301

Rolled 13

>>23486462
>[X] imbibe coffee
>[X] deal with journalists
>[X] make plans to use them as a way to ruin Bismuth life
>[X] somehow succeeded in doing something meaning full
>[X] have that ruined by Russian French people... it's ALWAYS the French Russians fault, and god forbid this one appear to be a hobo as well...
>[X] ask god why he torture you so

>>23486535
>>23486574

"Private! Tell the chief engineer to meet me in the command tent!"

"Sir, Yes Sir"

You stop at the Mess tent to grab a fresh cup of coffee to get you though the inevitable argument over the base design and construction order. By god you'll need it to try and broker peace between the engineers demand for utility buildings and their 'urgent need', and the officers demand of bunkers and entrenchment as a Priority One. In the end, the only thing that matters at the moment is securing the portal and the supply lines.

After 4 hours of arguments, tempers and shouting; The layout of the base is agreed upon. Priority goes to the construction of a Radio Tower so that patrols can be expanded and constant contact can be made with all Non-Hobo-inclusive patrols. For now, HE's Johnsons problem.

A runner is sent though the portal to requisition the necessary materials and equipment to construct and utilize the radio tower. Knowing the supply lines as you do, you expect the materials to be arriving later this evening. That still leaves you with the rest of the day to organise the troops and decide which of the fortifications or the utility buildings take priority in the construction order.

[ ] Fortifications take priority. No point in having power with nothing stopping saboteurs...
[ ] Utilities take priority. No point in having fortifications if we don't have the infrastructure to run them...

>>23488762

[ ] Assign orders to troops (near recon, entrench, set patrol schedules, ect)
[ ] Personally oversee construction sight preparation
[ ] Imbibe Coffee
[ ] Other

>>23488787
[X] Imbibe Coffee
[X] Utilities take priority. No point in having fortifications if we don't have the infrastructure to run them...
[X] Personally oversee construction sight preparation
[X]Other: hope for Lincoln's gristly demise in his absence

>>23488762
>>23488787
Simple fortifications, such as sandbags, trenches, and wire first. Then utilities, then more advanced concrete fortifications. Send out patrols in short distances (never too far from the portal, but maybe a mile or 2). Imbibe Coffee

You bastards are tenacious, I'll give you that. I'm honestly flattered you guys are willing to put up with my schitzyness so much.

I've finally sorted my business out and secured myself several hours of downtime. LET'S DO THIS.

Keep running Angry General Sub-Quest for the time being, though. No reason that we shouldn't establish that the General is actually doing something useful besides plotting our eventual demise.

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>>23489420
THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

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Rolled 6

new idea lincoln gets tired or repeatedly being vored by his brain, goes on the offensive and during an interview by the press vores every single one of the journalists
also
[imbibes coffee]
[takes a break}
[imbibes more coffee]
[requisitions better coffee]
[accidently imbibes a bottle o booze licoln left]
[in his drunkenness gives effective orders to his troops

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Rolled 7

i may attempt to edit the last picture to better portray lincoln's master locksmithing skills, note i suck at drawing, note i have no clue how the gemclear in my system will affect those already shitty abilities

>>23488762

[x] Utilities take priority
[x] establish near reconnaissance patrols
[x] imbibe coffee

> last update of AGQ, so that HK can continue his quest now that he is back...

Getting another cup of coffee from the mess tent, you notice the Chief engineer. You inform him of your decision that Utilities get priority. after all, Just knowing that the damned Hobo is on the same world as you makes you want to have a shower. Maybe you could introduce him to one... or at least drown him in the toilet, It would probably pass saying that he tripped over and drowned himself, Heh heh heh... But now is not the time to be thinking of dead Hobos...

Going to the Barracks tent, you inform the Sargent to have a squad patrolling the direct vicinity; since the current force is rather small, as to prevent any loss of manpower due to getting lost while exploring.

After hammering out the details of the patrol schedule and the various routes to be taken, A private informs you that the first truck of materials has arrived for the Radio Tower.

Construction begins immediately, between the Chief Engineers instructions and your personal supervision, the basic structure for the radio tower is raised in a matter of hours.
However, this good news is interrupted by a loud noise that not only drops your composed demeanour, but inspires a copious volume of rage to well up within you. The sound of an Abrams approaching. That can mean only one thing...

The Hobo Has Returned.

<insert Hobo Quest pt 12 here>

You soar through the air at the jug strung around Zom's hips, slavering mad at the anticipated sweet relief. Zom stares at you in shock, not having the reflexes to avoid your mad airborne charge.

Consequentially, you bowl her over as you scrabble at the jug on her side, sending you both rolling across the floor to crash into a pillar. You groan as you lie upside down against the surface of the pillar, ass up in the air with your head on the ground. Your ever-progressing hangover throbs, but as you feel the smooth surface of the jug in your hands, you know that all your suffering will be over soon.

.....wait, are jugs supposed to be squishy?

"Either you're very forward in your come-ons or you have the worse aim ever." You hear Zom laugh, and your eyes snap open to come face to face with hers. On account of you having her decapitated head in your hands, her eye once again hanging comically from its socket.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH FUCK!" You scream, nearly tossing the head away in a fit of panic. "HOLY SHIT I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL YOU!" You plead with her at the top of your lungs. "......AGAIN." You add as an afterthought.

Zom laughs again, not seeming troubled in the least. "Naaahhh, happens all the time. Never from someone tackling me like you did, but hey, first time for everything, even when you're dead." Her laughter dies down to chuckles as she tries to wiggle her dangling eye in Skel's direction. "Skel? Bit of help here? It happened again."

Skel proceeds over to you and Zom's head, and you catch a barely audible, whistling sigh, barely rattling her bones. She takes the talking zombiegirl head from you, and with a deft motion, splorks the eye back into its home.

"Thanks, Skel. Not a bad bone in your body, I'll tell ya--GAH!" Zom yelps as Skel flicks her hard in the forehead, probably for the awful skeleton joke.

"Geeeeez, you're always like this when I joke about your bones." Zom grumbles, before brightening up again like nothing had happened. "In any case, thread's where it usually is." Skel nods before proceeding over to the rest of Zom's corpse, which is lying sprawled out about half the distance from where you hit her to where you crashed into the pillar.

Fishing around in one of the pockets of Zom's ragtag and ridiculous-looking outfit (not NEARLY enough pockets, for one thing), the skeleton girl pulls out a makeshift spool with thread on it. Dragging Zom's body over to another nearby pillar, she props it up against the vertical surface while setting Zom's head precariously on top of the empty neck stump. Gripping a finger bone in her hand, the skeleton girl applies pressure with her other limb on a thin fissure until a sharp fragment of bone breaks off with a sharp snap.

Tying the thread around the bone fragment as best as she can, Skel then proceeds to go about messily stitching Zom's head back on. You watch in fascination, hangover forgotten for the moment, considering that none of this makes any sense whatsoever. So, nothing out of the ordinary, really.

After a few minutes, Skel breaks the end of the thread off, stowing the remainder back in Zom's pocket while slotting her makeshift finger needle back into place. Zom adjusts her head, making sure it doesn't wobble too much before springing up to her feet, laughter on her breath.

"Welp, no harm done! Right as rain again. Well, excluding the dead thing, but hey." She chuckles, before turning her attention back to you.

"Y'know, if you wanted some alcohol, all you had to do was ask. Not every day a girl meets a necromancer, ya know; I think I could spare a bit. You want some?" She holds out her arm, jug dangling from her hand.

>[.........///ANTICIPATION OF LIQUOR INGESTION///......DECISION SYSTEM REBOOT COMPLETE]

>What do?

[ ] [Accept politely]

[ ] [Accept emphatically]

[ ] [accept like a rabid badger]

[ ] [other]

Rolled 9

>>23491304
>[x] [Accept emphatically]

>>23491304
Somewhere between polite and emphatically. We're on the verge of being cursed with sobriety, but we did just tackle her head off...

>>23491304

accept politely and emphatically.
Drink like a rabid badger

Ask if she makes her own...


HK, with your blessing, I wish to run AGQ with a research system, allowing for base upgrades and the like

>>23491479
Heh, sure. Sounds interesting.

>>23491304

[x]Accept politely.
[x] Drink like a rabid badger.
[x] Where the hell are Fritz and Illiana?

>>23491751

probably still staring at us aghast.

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Rolled 15

no time for pleasantries, [drink like a rabid badger]
afterwords what in the actual fuck are my comrades doing
side note a full 24 hours of drinking and only a 3rd a bottle of gemclear gone, fuck yes i'm changing over to this

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Rolled 2

you know what i'm gonna roll for the coffee not being issued yet, and been long run out hence the general's perma-pissed off nature

>>23491304
[x] [Accept emphatically]
Zom would deserve kiss for providing some much needed booze if it weren't for the whole dead and rotting part.

>>23492912

you know that her rotten flesh will not stop the Hobo, right? If anything, He will find a way to either rejuvenate it, or re-skin her...

also, Making a skin for Skel...


wait. idea.

1. Take Zom.
2. Take Skel.
3. Insert Zom A into Skel B.
4. ???????
5. PROFIT!!!

>>23492989
>3. Insert Zom A into Skel B.
What has necromancy done...

You nod your head eagerly at the grinning zombiegirl, not speaking for fear of betraying how absolutely desperate you are to have what's in her hand. Unfortunately, the way your entire body is almost VIBRATING is somewhat of a giveaway. Damn your traitorous nerves.

"I'm guess that's a 'yes', then? Geez, you look like you're just 'dying' to get your hands on this." The zombiegirl snickers at her own joke, slapping her rotting knee and earning a quiet facepalm from Skel. "Well, I'm a generous sort, so here ya go. Don't go drinking it all at---"

But you can no longer hear her, instead tearing the jug from her hands and clawing the lid off the top like a ornery badger waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Dislodging the last barrier between you and the liquid of miracles, you immediately heft the decently-sized jug up to your lips and begin gulping.

".....Woah." Zom simply says, having forgone laughing for just staring. The cracks on Skel's skull creak and shift; you're pretty sure that's her version of raising an eyebrow.

But none of that matters; only drinking now.

---15 SECONDS LATER---

You let out a long, satisfied sigh as you drop the jug, which thunks as it hits the floor and rolls away from you. You stare up at the ceiling of the underground crypt room in a state of near-bliss, letting the warming comfort of oncoming intoxication spread through you like the embrace of a lover. Your mind feels free, your migraines banished, and your demeanor very much improved. Pumping your fists up into the air above your head, you let out a victorious roar.

"IIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAM REBOOOOOOOOOORN!!!!" you screech into the air, your shout echoing off the walls of the chamber. Zom and Skel both jump back a bit in surprise. You lower your gaze from the stone ceiling, instead directing it at the undead comedy duo with a very, very familiar look of drunken insanity in your eyes.

"My dear, sweet, beautiful zombie." You croon, causing Zom's eyes to widen. "HowEVER can I thank you? You cannot imagine the favor you have done me this night." You approach the one-armed undead with a smooth gait, reaching out with your hand to grab her arm. With a swift pull, you bring her into your embrace, staring suavely into her eyes.

If her blood hadn't long since congealed, you're pretty sure Zom would be blushing. As it stands, her jaw is hanging slightly agape as she stuggles to form words. This amuses you, so you decide to continue laying it on thick. Heh. Thick.

"Only a true woman of generosity and grace could have taken pity on a suffering soul such as I." You dramatically put your hand to your head in mock suffering, releasing Zom and falling to your knees. "Would you allow me to repay you, by treasuring you always?" You lay a gentle kiss on her hand, not bothered by the clammy texture by virtue of having the taste of booze still on your lips.

"Uh....I.....woah." Zom stammers, looking rather unused to such attention. "This is......new. Usually the only come-ons we get are undead guys asking to bone..." She snickers despite her nervousness at the pun, only to yelp again as Skel thwacks her on the head. The skeletongirl then turns her attention to you, glaring. Apparently she finds you less than sincere. Apparently she has no clue who she's dealing with.

"Ahhhhh, there is no need to be jealous, dear Skel." You smirk at her, quickly rising to your feet. You approach her like a cat stalking a mouse. An undead mouse. "For my affections include you as well. Our chase earlier had my heart aflutter, in more ways than one."

You honestly had no idea what the extent of Skel's ability to show emotion was before, but you sure as hell do now. Those cracks do a rather good job of displaying shock. The loosely hanging jaw doesn't hurt either.

"You are surprised? How could I not find you attractive? The polished bones, the smooth contours....." You ramble on, listening only to what the sweet sweet liquor tells you to say. After all, it's never steered you wrong before. You run a finger down her bony arm for affect. Skel, for her part, seems to be stuck deciding between whether to flee or stab you in the head.

"WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH THE UNDEAD!?!?!?" Illiana screams at you, snapping you out of your booze-fueled amorous behavior with a jolt. You give her a curious stare, smiling goofily as if you didn't have a care in the world. And honestly, when you're drunk enough, you really don't.

"Ah. Well. I suppose I have explaining to do, then?" You offer, staring at the confused and angry foxgirl and the smoking Fritz, who apparently decided you were more amusing to watch than shooting corpses.

[Roll 1d20 for coherent explanation]

Rolled 16

>>23493688
Oh boy, vore time.

Rolled 17

>>23493688
coherent explanation vore?

Rolled 6

>>23493688
Hobo logic makes perfect sense. It's the rest of the world that's crazy

Rolled 13

>>23493688
WHOOOO

Rolled 8

>"WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH THE UNDEAD!?!?!?"
For starters: 1. they have tits 2. they gave us booze

>>23493743
How does that even work?

Rolled 8

>>23493688
Why wouldn't we flirt with the undead?!

Rolled 17

>>23493688

So... how much flesh does skel have on her body? How can we identify her as female? Or does the necromancy just let us KNOW somehow?

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>>23494297
bone tits

>>23494381
That's the basis, I guess, though I'm highly tempted to make her more skeletal instead of leaving her as she appears in that picture. Just for something different. I'll leave it up to all of you to decide.

Rolled 16

>>23493906
3. Maggots tickle

Rolled 1

"My dearest Illiana, You know how important unity and love is to me and to Hobotopia. Why must such things as 'Life and Death' change the meaning of my words, the direction of my soul, the spreading of my heart? It is these boundaries which are my true enemies (and the MAN, but that's a different story). Being one of the first members of my Hobo-Council-Of-Unity, you surely understand these ideals, do you not? After all, How can we Unite a world, when old ways cannot be forgotten and new ideals embraced?


now watch me roll a 1 and get Lincoln vored by idealism & sentimentality......

>>23494381
i call your attention to a previously made point, Skull-Tits that is all.

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>>23494884
>now watch me roll a 1 and get Lincoln vored by idealism & sentimentality......

Rolled 6

>>23493688

Rolled 10

>>23494884
>Rolled 1
Normally I'd be amused, but right now some actual story posts would be nice instead of vore.

>>23494976

I know. however, these things just happen. If we are lucky (which i am guessing that we are not...) HK will have already started typing up the update and not act on this 1 until after... or just Omake it... or Vore then update.... or nothing at all...

though you have to admit, I totally called it.

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Rolled 9

HK should wake up any minute now, yupp any moment.

>>23496464
Im such a fucking moron for not knowing this but, SAUCE?!

>>23496475
>My Little Sister Can't Be This Cute~!
Source of the infamous "What are we gonna do on the bed onii-chan~? WAH!" pomf=3

>>23496508
Nah nigga, Oreimo is the one with the blonde haired pouty girl. You're right about it being the source of pomf=3 though. Source is The Light of Tsukimi Manor

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>>23496475
The Light of Tsukimi Manor ch.4
http://exhentai.org/g/526643/b102324c95/

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>>23496508
>Source of the infamous "What are we gonna do on the bed onii-chan~? WAH!" pomf=3

Knew that much, but always forget what the name of the manga/doujin is but im sure that title is a totally diferent thing....

>>23496530
>>23496549

Ahhh yea thanks!
Here, have some Shwig humor for your help!

>>23496530
Fuck, I always get Oreimo and this one mixed up. Ah well.

---10 MINUTES LATER---

"........And that's why I'm technically a duke." You finish, crossing your arms with a sense of satisfaction.

"......What." Illiana says dumbly, staring at you like you had just spoken ancient Sumerian for the last ten minutes. Fritz, on the other hand, seemed to have gotten the gist of what you were trying to get across.

"Necromancy then, eh? Interesting." He rubs his chin with a thoughtful look on his face. "Any chance we might be able to learn it as well?"

You stare expectantly at the undead duo, and Zom replies with a shrug. "It's just a language, you know. It's just that people without the right type of magical disposition can't just absorb it through the brain like you did. So it might take them a bit longer, unless they can find a sorcerer or something who can figure out a shortcut."

"Short answer: No. Not without lots of book times or magical shenanigans." You relay to Fritz and Illiana. Fritz looks somewhat put out, but shrugs it off shortly after.

"Well, I suppose we should get this book back to the General, then; he can have the translators start looking at it." He inhales on his cigarette one last time before stubbing it out against a nearby pillar. "But that's after we finish looking for that temple we came here for."

"Temple? Did he say temple?" Zom perks up, looking at you expectantly. You nod in affirmation, and the zombiegirl gives a grin. "Oh, we know where that is! Nasty place. Kill you stone dead. DeadER." She snickers again at her own terrible joke, earning an eyeroll from Skel.

"Zom knows where the temple is." You quickly relay to your companions, now getting used to playing the conversational middle man. "And it is.....where?" You quirk an eyebrow at Zom. The zombiegirl's smile falters, replaced with an uncomfortable and worried look.

"Wait.....you actually want to go there?" You nod in affirmation. "This is gonna sound really sappy, but.....please don't? It's been ages since there's been another necromancer." She shuffles her feet awkwardly. "I really don't want to see the first decent conversation we've had in forever go get himself eaten."

"Eaten?" You question, feeling a very distinct chill go down your spine, though you're not sure why. Zom opens her mouth to reply, but is cut off by a harsh yet quiet voice from next to her.

"There's something in that place." Skel rasps, her voice sounding like she doesn't use it much. "Big. Dead. Not dead enough, though." The skeletongirl goes silent, leaving you staring at her. You're unsure if she talked at all. But goddamn, that voice; you really hope it wasn't a dream.

Zom, looking surprised at her companion's broken silence, shakes her head and quickly jumps back into the conversation. "What she said, yeah? It eats things. Actually, it eats EVERYTHING; living, dead, it doesn't really care. Nobody's really sure what it looks like, because anyone that DOES find out is pretty much dead within the next few minutes. We just stay away from it. We may be dead, but we don't really feel like finding out what dying again feels like." She chuckles, but you can see in her eye that the thought of the temple actually rattles her.

Which is exactly why you must murder this beastie and everything related to it. YOU are the only one who gets to make your girls uncomfortable, dammit.

"Big and ugly monster things have never met LINCOLN FUCKING BISMUTH." You proudly declare, shouting your name at the end of the sentence and making Zom jump again. "I will murder this asshole who dares lay waste to my all-consuming undead army of Hobo Glory."

"Uh....army? Awwww fuck, don't tell me you're another one of those would-be conquerers....." Zom groan, slapping her hand to her face.

"You misunderstand, dear Zom. I only wish to spread the glory of booze and monstergirls to the far corners of the globe. Also, I know a particular castle that has a noble that I really don't like, so a massive horde of undead might help. Besides, I have a tank, we can't lose."

"What's a tank?" Zom asks, confused.

"Something that makes VERY big explosions." You respond, grinning at the thought.

"Well, as long as you're not planning on trying to do the whole 'the undead shall inherit the world' shtick like the LAST guy....." Zom grumbles to herself, before turning her attention back to you. "But I still mean what I said, yeah? Going near that temple is asking for death. And how the hell am I supposed to shop our act to outsiders if nobody can understand us?" The corpsegirl laughs a bit at this, though her eye still gleams seriousness.

You snort, fixing her with a lofty gaze. "My dear Zom, you underestimate me. No monster can stand before the full might of my HOBO SWAG. Also, I'm probably just going to fill it with more bullets than you count, but that's kind of my default strategy. But I can't do that unless I know where it is." You fix Zom with a serious look of pleading. "So could you please show me where it is, so that I may rid the Corpselands of a serious danger and then get to have sex with you and Skel as a reward?"

Zom and Skel jerk their eyes in shock towards you, leaving you to grin like a madman, as always.

"You....but....with us......WHY!?!?" Zom finally yells, confusion deciding to express itself through volume rather than verbosity. "We're DEAD! How the hell can you find that attractive!?"

"You'd be surprised how many different types of people I find attractive." You calmly reply, as if you've give this explanation a thousand times. Which honestly, you have, but that's not important at the moment. "But 'why' isn't really important here. The important thing is: You show me the temple, I murder the beastie, and then we all have hot undeadgirl loving after I figure out how to make that work. Deal?"

"Sweet Glorian, he's serious." Skel mumbles breathlessly. You merely grin at her in response.

Zom continues gaping at you in utter disbelief for a few more moments, before deciding to direct her attention at the floor, looking quite embarrassed. She slowly looks back up at your grinning visage, before cracking a nervous smile herself.

"Well.......I'd be lying if I said it hadn't been a while since I had a good boning......" She chuckles, before yelping as Skel dutifully thwacks her over the head again, her own embarrassment overridden by the need to punish Zom for the horrible bone pun. Though you can tell that the skeleton girl is just as rattled by your offer, so to speak.

Heh. Bone puns.

"Well, that settles it then!" You declare proudly, before turning bakc to your companions, who have been watching and waiting expectantly. Fritz has an amused look on his face; he seems to be able to tell better than most when you're up to shenanigans. Sexy, sexy shenanigans.

"They said they'd show us where the temple is in return for a good dicking from yours truly."

Fritz immediately snorts, almost instantly cracking up. Illiana, on the other hand....

"W-W-WWHAAAAAAAT!? HOW DOES THAT EVEN---" The foxgirl shrieks, tails whipping around in flustered outrage.

"Don't worry, Illiana. You're in line before them, and no cutting."

"I-I-I....oh, well, that's good I gue----WAIT, HOLD ON A SECOND!" Her volume rockets back up, though now a deep blush is evident on the inari's face. You merely turn away, million-dollar smirk on your face. She'll admit she wants the Hobo Lovemaking soon enough.

"Well, that's all well and good....." Fritz comments, shaking off the last of his laughing fit. "....But we're not exactly going to get to the temple stuck down here."

"Good point. Ladies? Know a way out?" You direct the question towards the undead comedians, and receive a pair of smirks in return.

----20 MINUTES LATER----

"So THIS is how you got down there ahead of us." You remark as you all plod up yet ANOTHER secret passageway.

"Skel and I figured it'd be a hell of a lot easier getting to you than trying to fight through that crowd of overexcited idiots at the front door." Zom laughs as she leads you upwards.

"Why WERE you after us, anyway?" You question, stepping over a piece of loose masonry.

"Lunch." Zom replies simply, with a cheeky grin on her face. You almost object, but then shrug instead. Hey, they ARE undead.

"Fair enough. Hooray for necromatic tendencies then, I guess. How much longer."

"Right here." Skel rasps from the front of the line, pointing at the dead end wall in front of you. Approaching the wall, Skel presses one of the stones further inwards....

.....only for the whole thing to swing up and outwards, accompanied by the squeaking of ancient pulleys and ropes somewhere within the masonry.

"....Cool." You comment, stepping through the door into the outdoors to follow the two undead girls.

You then proceed to notice that you are surrounded by a VERY large crowd of undead.

....Shit.

>What do?

[ ] [ask Zom and Skel to talk them down]

[ ] [fight your way out]

[ ] [try to talk your way out]

[ ] [retreat back down the passageway]

[ ] [other]

>>23496894
>[ ] [try to talk your way out]

And we'll do it, too!

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Rolled 1

>>23496842
I am getting a serious Sawyer vibe from Skel for some reason.

Rolled 7

>>23496894
>[x] [try to talk your way out]

Rolled 4

>>23496894
>[ ] [try to talk your way out]
Swag on those bitches.

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>>23496943
>1
The setup couldn't be any more convenient.

Rolled 20

>>23496894
[X] [try to talk your way out]
Time to talk the half decayed panties off of any additional undead bitches

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Rolled 1

convince them to become your new undead army, with a braveheart-esque speech
find out if they have booze
if so consume
flirt

>>23497336
>>23497309
>>23496943
Yep, this is how HoboQuest is supposed to go.

Rolled 20

[x] imbibe liquor if there is any left
[x] [try to talk your way out]

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>>23496943
>>23497309
>>23497336
>>23497427
Business as usual.

I'm taking a nap while I wait for the dice gods to make up their minds.

Given the very good chance that this thread will die while I do so (it's been three days, after all), watch the twitter for when I throw up the next one. I can promise it won't be nearly as terribly run, now that I've gotten through my hell week of work.

1, 20, 1, 20...

The dice gods are conflicted it seems...

either way, have a pointless speech;

"Friends, Corpseland-ians, Countrymen, Lend me your ears (metaphorically, not literally),
I come to rid your temple of it's giant-all-consuming monster, not to enslave/destroy you.
For the tyranny and segregation of all the diffrent species saddens me.

I have a dream that one day, There will be no grievances between species.
I have a dream that one day, a person can enjoy the company of any person in a consensual circumstance.
I have a dream that the world will be Unified and full of Love, where every man a King..."


>>23497636
Don't make promises you can't keep...

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Rolled 13

you do realize what you have given us right?
an army that has the strongest booze on the planet, who's primary form of attack IS vore
imagine the general's face when you crest the horizon with a legion of undead everything, like the goddamn ss, on your way to murder the hell out of the noble prick and turn his castle into a brewery
huehueuhehuehueueuhehuehueheuuheue

Rolled 20

Let there be nat 1s.

>>23497787
I critically failed at failing.

Rolled 4

>>23497678
>The dice gods are conflicted it seems...
Or they want us to get eaten, but us as a meal convinces the undead to join the fight

>>23496943
>>23497309
>>23497336
>>23497427
This amuses me.

>>23496894
>[x] [try to talk your way out]

make way for your future king! i shall slay the tyrannic beast that has made that place its home!

(oh god i hope its female)

>>23497678
Lincoln got eaten by the zombie horde.

they were all females so they gang raped Lincoln

it wasn't as pleasurable as he thought it would be and he died.

and got turned to a zombie with his own harem

(another nat 1)
he can't get a boner though because of the lack of blood.

(another nat 20)
he eventually figured it out by linking their undead brains together to feel sexual pleasure directly.

(another nat 1)
their brains rotted more quickly and have a second death.

>>23498605
that was all boring, poorly written and I am worse off for having read it, congratulations, you have successfully vored some of my time.

>>23500166
That sounds surprisingly kinky and GODDAMIT 4CHAN I GOT A NEW FETISH!

Rolled 2

rolling 1's for the hobo king

Rolled 15

>>23500775
That's not how you roll 1s.

>>23500166

New musical number for Lincoln to preform on a nat 1; The Time Vore!

Rolled 5

>>23496884
>Skeleton girl sex

All I can think of is her rasping out "YES, YES, RATTLE ME BONES" during it.

Also that picture I mentioned before is around 50% done.

Fucking short shorts refuse to work with batgirl asses, those damned fools.

Rolled 8

let us see if the dice gods have made their decision...

I'd make a prediction, though I do not wish to incur their wrath...

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Rolled 10

Surely it won't be long now.

Rolled 15

Make up your mind dice

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>>23502043

the simultaneous best and worst part of hoboquest is how long it goes. I can go to sleep, go to work, and get back from work and it's still up...but I can't just take 3 days off to binge drink and read the thread. Such is life

Rolled 7

So, how comprehensive would everyone like the research/upgrade system in AGQ to be?

continuing to roll in hopes of a definitive answer from the DGs on how well Lincoln can talk his way out of a horde of undead (who he can now Actually speak to)

>>23507291
hum... very? I'm not sure how that would work frankly

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Rolled 14

>>23507291
don't make it too complicated. Have like installations, with optional attachments if they're important. IE, if we want Bunker, don't ask whether we want German, British, or American bunker. Just maybe Bunker, with an option of machine gun, larger cannon, or something else. For the radio tower currently under construction, maybe have an attachment that improves range within riftia, one that allows communication to the other side, and maybe something else. I guess a SIMPLE acquisition system wouldn't hurt either...can't build a barracks with 2 2x4s and some bubblegum unless you're russia

Rolled 18

you know I can't help but wonder how Lincoln will react when he realize that to THE MEN this place is nothing but free resources ripe for the taking and that the "bring peace and democracy" is nothing but an excuse....

why do I suddenly want a scientist on our team so he can research ways to make our Abraham the most SCIENCY tank ever with MAGIC

How. The fuck. Is this thread. Still here.

Apparently, the more unproductive I am, the longer the thread lasts. 4 days is definitely a record.

I've got a long string of classes ahead of me, but I'm going to try to bang out another post in my free moments.

Maybe eventually we'll even make progress. PROGRESS, I SAY.

HAHAHAHA oh progress. Do you have vore to write? So many 20s and 1s, I have no idea

Rolled 19

>>23508429

Progress? In HoboQuest? Madness

Rolled 8

Might as well roll for 1s while we're waiting

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>>23508429
>progress
Hoboking, you card

Rolled 16

>>23508429

Hey there HK. I know how you feel, this drawing is really a bitch to finish, been a while since I fucked around in Photoshop. I'm not complaining though, your thread is giving me an excuse to practice drawing monstergirls.

On a side note: Do you think there's place for another quest on this board? Been thinking about running my own but everytime I check the main page there's a choke-full of them, and I guess throwing in another one won't work.

>>23507659

You know that Lincoln is trying to make himself LORD HOBO RULER OF HOBOTOPIA!!!

The MAN is just a way to achieve that goal...


rather than resources, the upgrades are dependent upon the research. Which in turn is dependent upon the upgrades. one example is that you can't have 'Youko Spec-Ops' barracks upgrade until you research 'Youko Biology' and 'Modified Gear'....

just realised, I may have said too much...
>>23508429
welcome back HK. I assume that you are going to post a bit of vore/bad end, then post the update in a new thread immediately after...
Yes????

>>23508611
I'd like to be able to give a meaningful opinion, but honestly, I have no idea. I didn't bother to check myself; I just read Papa-N's latest Gen A thread, asked him if he thought my idea was worth merit, and when he said it was interesting proceeded to hurl it onto the board without giving any shits. My early thread had like, maybe three people in them. I just kept going and you all collectively decided that it was insanity worth reading. For which I thank you, by the way.

So if you're feeling bold, go ahead and throw it up. I'd be a horrible hypocrite if I ever discouraged anyone from trying their own hand at a Quest Thread.

Rolled 15

>>23508748

Yeah, well - I have considered giving in a shot, but seeing as ANY thread I set up dies about one hour in, it's been a bit discouraging.

Now if I could only decide WHICH one of my ideas would I adapt into quest...

Sorry to blog about my life though, will refrain from doing do.

>>23508836

just post a 'hey guys i'm doing a <insert theme here> quest thread. check it out, if you want <insert link here>'

Worked for Char. he posted about running one on /m/, I joined him there and somehow coerced him into running it fully here.

then again, I enjoyed Zeon quest so his quest inherently interested me....

Post us a link here when you put it up, and i will at least pop by and say hi. Might even stay for the quest too!

then again, there have been several quests that had a 'pre-quest' thread where problems were banged out, choices and opinions were made, votes taken and worlds customised...

It helps quicken the pace of the first thread if you've made you characters prior...

But hey, I just compile Hobo Quest & Bright Quest, occationally hijacking HQ to run/encourage sub-quests... what do I know...


on a more selfish note; HK, what did you think of the Skel & Zom sketch I done?

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>>23509171
Pretty much. I think it kinda went like this: Someone on /m/ had a thread up saying 'I want more storytiem with Bright Noah' or some such. So, I GundamJacked the thread, offered three different scenarios that I could work with off the top of my head, and asked /m/ to vote for which one they wanted to read. Zeon Bright won, and I kept posting on /m/ until I got banned. Switched to /tg/, because of audience demand and the dice roller, and now there are 9 installments.

>>23508836
While I do feel less than qualified to hand out Writefagging / QuestRunan advice... as Faceless mentioned, you can always post a Pre-Quest thread to gauge interest, hammer out details, and attract an audience. This works well if you've only got a few ideas for your quest world / characters / etc, and need to flesh it out before it's go time. The more in depth the world you build, and your knowledge of it, the more fleshed out it feels and the smoother it runs. It also gives you material to fall back on if you run dry, because you know what the area's are like, where / when certain events will occur, and you can use percentile (d100) and Yes / No dice (d2 or d6) to determine various factors that will effect how the world reacts to your players. You need to put time into it, though. What you get out of the quest is directly influenced by how much time you put into thinking / planning / working on it.

You're an artist, so if you want to put the time in, doing custom art for your quest will also act as a lure to draw people in.

But mainly, have fun with it, and don't burn yourself out.

>>23508748
Your quest amuses me while I'm at work. And even when I'm not adding to the madness, I've kept my eye on it. So, [Imbibe Liquor] and [Keep Posting Damn It].

>>23510564
>>23509171

I'm probably going to do just that, yeah. I just felt that maybe one more quest would be too much, I'll probably start the pre-quest thread tomorrow. Any input from you guys would be appreciated.

>>23510762
I wonder what this quest could be about... dammit now I'm starting to wonder if I should try to run one as well, while knowing full well it's impossible for me due to dickish time zones (seriously why do those exist? and don't give me a so called scientific answer I what a booze fulled one!)

>>23511210

Like I said, I have many ideas for quests, but it'll probably end up being World War I with necromancy and demons, or something I could describe as a mix of Castlevania, Lovecraft mythos and Silent Hill.

>>23511244
that sound awesome, I can't help but wonder how often the French will be the butt of the joke

>>23510564
a pleasure to see you once more Char. Do you have any idea on when you might next be running your quest?

>>23511244
I eagerly await to see what kind of quest you have in store for us DeadBrain.


HK, you writing, sleeping, boozing or RLing? Hopefully writing...

>>23511244
Hey, Gundam was basically WWI with Giant Robots. Don't sell yourself short.

>>23512226
I had wanted to do one this weekend, but had very little sleep. As evidenced by the fact that I Remain Awake at 5am, and have work at Noon. Aiming for next weekend, with a possible thing mid week. Check the twitter, I'll let you know.

And HK is either in lecture, at work, or asleep.