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>>23015814

>HALFWAY THROUGH A TURN...
-----------------------------------------------
Ogir Place (+Floating, +Limbs, +Sandstorm Drill, +Magma Shield, +Steering Wheel)
-----------------------------------------------
Population: 121/121 ogres (6 dead), 52/52 elves, ∞/∞ patchwings
- [Landmarks] Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry [50% mined]
- [Food] Cacti(-ow), Fungi, Wheat, Potatoes, Ravager Meat, Milk; Fair Growth (+32/turn)
- [Resources] Hellfire Energy [Captive Archdemon Lord], Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles
- [Diplomacy] Scaratone [ALLIED; Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves [UNITED]; Achievement Hunter Dwarves [???]

- [Key Items] Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I)
- [Arms] Cactus Maces, Iron Scimitars, Short-Ranged Bow+Arrow, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage
- [Vocations] OGRES: Geo (∞), Berserks (4), BMasters (1), Rockkits (0), Riders (0), Heallusionist (0)
- [Beasts] Giant Bats (trained), Naked Mole Ravagers (trained)
- [Settlement] Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, Anchor/Staircase, THE FLAMES OF HELL

- [NPCs] Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy, +WE ALL GEOMANCERS NOW, +Ruoumoko], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Beast Whisperer, Big Vulture], Celicia Silverstone [???], Vultan [???]
- [Tech] Fire, Fish, Agriculture[+Protection], Cooking, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships!
- [Magic] Geomancy I, Healing I, Illusion I, Climate Control 0
- [Economy] System=Barter; Currency=Shit
- [Justice] Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best
-----------------------------------------------

DICE RULES:
>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY
>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>90-98: Stupidly Successful
>60-90: Successful
>40-60: Neutral
>10-40: Not So Good
>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT
>1: LUCKY STUPID

[GODDESS OF LUCK INTERVENTION]: Available!

(Cont.)

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>>23015848

There's always that one, frozen moment, right before battle is joined, where both sides get ready to make their moves. As the undead horde riding on the ancient ziggurat continue glowing with the sun's light, the rough ridin' ogres get their mounts whipped up into a killing (or at least a mildly annoyed) frenzy, the geomancers begin charging up their magic, the elves get into formation, the patchwings start cawing and flapping about on the ground...

"OI!"

... and Boss Bawss Fistboss puts that all to a screeching halt with one well-placed yell. Ignoring Celicia's "what the hell!?"s, the larger ogre cups his hands around his mouth and continues bellowing right out at the undead horde.

"WE'RE DA OGRES! DA OGRES OF OGIR PLACE! I JUST WANNA TALK FOR A LITTLE BIT, IS DAT OKAY?"

The silence of the dead is all he gets in response, so Boss Bawss continues on. "SO I NOTICE DAT YOU'RE DEAD! DAT'S REAL COOL, SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE ALSO DEAD, SO I KNOW DAT FEEL. WE JUST WANNA GET OUR BIRDIE, HE FELL INTO YOUR HOUSE. IS DAT OKAY? ARE WE COOL?"

(CONT- I mean, Cont.)

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>>23015861
Roll for DIPLOMANCY! (+30 bonus because Boss Bawss Fistboss is totally overpowered)

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 80

>>23015880

Rolled 76

>>23015880

Rolled 45

>>23015880
OH YEAH. OGRE TIME.

Rolled 79

>>23015880


HAHA TIME FOR FAILURE

Rolled 99

>>23015880

>>23015917
look whos talking

Rolled 94

>>23015880

Ugh. Too bad we're so close to the War, I almost want to use the luck chip just for the hilarious image of all the dead turning to Boss Baws and going, "Master?"

Rolled 3

>>23015927
Precious. The precious!

>>23015917
not cool bro don't delete rolls Blorp he got a 21

Rolled 1

>>23015927
My god. Doubles. In Stupidly Successful. . . And at the tail end of the allowed range. Wait.

>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>90-98: Stupidly Successful

THERE IS NO 99!
What have we wrought!?

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Rolled 100

>>23015917

>deleting your post

This goym.

>>23015983
>>23015988

Holy shit.

Back to back too.

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>>23015983
>>23015988

Ha...ha....HAHAHAHA!!

>>23015988
>>23015983
>>23015943
>>23015938
>>23015927

Someone get a pen, we're going t oneed to hit Blorp's hard reboot button again.

>>23015983
>>23015988
mother
of
blorp

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>>23016007
>they fcurri
Yep. They are.

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see

this is why I find myself sticking to the first roll more often now

not that that actually makes a difference because /TG/ DICE..........

>>23016048
I think Ogre quest stole all the Dragon quest dice, myself. They never get good rolls.

>>23016048
I really don't see rolls like this on other quest threads though.

>>23016048
Blorp, silly thing.
It's not /tg/ dice. It's not even luck.

It's ogres.

>>23016048

You gotta admit though, that was hilarious though.

>>23016077

Yeah, I rarely ever see /tg/ dice give decent rolls for anything except this quest.

>>23016048

Oh no Blorp, this is ALL OGRES.

>>23016048
Man, the civilized races are going to get to this continent, take one look at the Ogre/Elf/Hyenabird/Beetle/Undead civilization and NOPE all the way back to the main land.

>>23016254
maybe Boss Bawss Fistboss will become a necromancer based just on how much the dead love him?

>>23016254
Are you kidding?

Our Floating Island-Citadels are going to slowly hover over there one day, and the rest of the races are going to panic like mad as the Dwarves just nod and all switch over to the Ogrefinder Chievos edition.

Because, seriously, did you see what Ogres do? ALL THE OLD EDITIONS ARE LAME NOW.

Ah, I finally show up in time for this thread.

I keep having these strange images of a tiny tsundere elf going up to one of the gigantic, purple mutant ogres and going "I-I didn't bake this bread just for you, you know!" and the ogre just staring until after she leaves, then turning to his fellow non-mutant ogre and going "WAFFLE IRON BLUEBERRY?"

"I dunno either man."

>>23016254
>implying all the civilized races aren't gonna become our allies.

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>>23015861
>>23015888
>80(+30) - Successful!

"Bawss..." Celicia deadpans. "You DO know that we're facing undead creatures, right?"

Boss Bawss nods. "Yeah. I figured from all da... you know." He waves a hand in their general direction, squinting at the things' exposed bones, lack of musculature or organs, and jerky choppy movements. "I figured from all da bald."

"From all the bald. Yes." Celicia doesn't lower her rifle. "And your rank-and-file undead are basically completely fucking mindless, so talking to them is probably as productive as asking a flower to grow faster."

Boss Bawss looks down at the elf. "But I do dat sort of thing all da ti-"

"O- Okay, that was a bad example!" Celicia grumps. "Look, you know what I mean. And I know you're capable of a lot of fucking things, Boss Bawss, but I've had some dealings with undead hordes, I know the deal, they're not going to-"

Celicia is cut off by the rattling, hissing scream of hundreds of skeletons- an impossibility in itself, but there it is- and she snaps her attention back to the ziggurat. "See? What did I tell you? They're-"

"- attackin' each other," Boss Bawss cuts her off, shading his eyes from the sun as he watches the skeletons with interest.

Celicia lowers her gun. "- they're doing the what now?"

And it's true- as one, the skeletons are swarming up and down the ziggurat walls to hack and stab at each other, all of them screaming wordless bloody murder. After living with ogres for so long, Celicia has gotten VERY good at suppressing her first two knee-jerk reactions- the stock "But that's impossible!" and "Boss Bawss Fistboss, what the fucking hell have you done NOW?"- so she just stares at the scene in front of her, trying to piece together-

"The... glowing skeletons are attacking the ones that aren't glowing...?" Celicia hazards with a puzzled frown.

"A-yup," Boss Bawss nods, doing some quick mental recalculations...

(Cont.)

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>>23016302
Decision Time!

[ ] [AGGRESS] Quick, they're distracted! Attack /all/ the skeletons!
[ ] [FIGHT] Carve your way through the glowing skeletons! Magical glow is NEVER good news!
[ ] [FIGHT] Destroy all the non-glowing skeletons! They got some nerve, not having any glowy stuff!
[ ] [STEALTH?] Quick, they're distracted! Sneak into the ziggurat!
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>23016345
Help our glowing allies!!
[X] [FIGHT] Destroy all the non-glowing skeletons! They got some nerve, not having any glowy stuff!

>>23016345
{Stealth}

SNEAKY SNEAKY TIME

>>23016345

[X] [FIGHT] Destroy all the non-glowing skeletons! They got some nerve, not having any glowy stuff!

MAKE PEACE BETWEEN THE SKELLINGTONS.

AND THEN GET THEM TO JOIN US.


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

>>23016345
[STEALTH]

We don't know who's who just yet. Let's sit it out.

>>23016345
[ ] [WRITE-IN] Ascertain if glowy skeletons are our allies or if non-glowy are. "Oy! You lot, which of you is on our side?"

Then

[ ] [FIGHT] Destroy all the non-glowing skeletons! They got some nerve, not having any glowy stuff!

>>23016345
[X] [FIGHT] Destroy all the non-glowing skeletons! They got some nerve, not having any glowy stuff!

Everybody knows that you need the glow,
You need the glow, the glow to grow.

And if you love to live, you live
the life the way you love,
The love you take the gift.

Cos when you got the glow, you
see it on your face,
You feel it in your head, people understand,

That you've got the glow, and they're beware,
Cos the power's there when you got the glow.

>>23016345
>[ ] [STEALTH?] Quick, they're distracted! Sneak into the ziggurat!

>>23016372
The diplomacer inside of me wants to do this.

>>23016345
[x]SNEAK. Sneak in there, get your bird and get him out. Your birds can suck on bones after the battle.

>>23016383
Seconding.

>>23016434
Thirding

>>23016345

I'd rather wait and see what the fuck is going on before acting.

>>23016372

Or we could do this.

Yeah, this.

>>23016372
We've got Bawss Fistboss with us, might as well try this. If that fails, do >>23016383

>>23016302
Wait, what color are they glowing?

>>23016607
Yellow. Like, bright yellow. Like there's a constantly-glowing ball of light jammed into each skeleton's rib cage and skull.

Also, stopping voting here because I've about half-written the next post! I've got it pegged for [STEALTH], though I'm saving [MAKE PEACE BETWEEN THEM] for a little later...

>>23016607
Is it gold?

Gold is bad, right? Formichroma much?

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>>23016644
Well, it IS gold, but it's not the same shade as /that/ Formichroma.

>>23016673

Don't make me dethrone your bitch-ass again, Satan.

>>23016688
That game was surprisingly easy compared to how much /tg/ was bitching about it. Took me all of 15 minutes.

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>>23016345
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
Tell all them skellies to stop muckin about, we got a bird to find!

>>23016728
>game was easy

Bullshit liar.

>>23016345
>[X] [STEALTH]! Sneak into the ziggurat while they're distracted!
>[X] [Write-in] Make Peace! (Saved for later)...

"A'right! No one's lookin' at us- dis is our chance!" Boss Bawss turns to shout at his ragtag group. "Boys! Follow me! We're goin' in!"

"'ey!" yells one ogre in the back of the group. "Dat ain't very ogre-like, runnin' away from a battle!"

"Naw, you don't get it," Boss Bawss rumbles, wagging one finger. "We ain't runnin' away from no battle. We're runnin' TOWARD da battle. Dey'll still be here when we get out, right?"

"... right..."

"So once we're done inside, we can totally krump 'em then!" Boss Bawss finishes triumphantly. "It's like savin' dessert for last! Except by 'dessert', I mean 'violence'!"

"Gee, boss," the formerly complaining ogre sniffs. "You really ARE da best, did ya know dat?"

"... let's just go," Celicia mutters, rolling her eyes as she starts jogging toward the ziggurat. "But stay on your guard; we don't want anyone taking us by surprise when we're passing them."

(Cont.)

Rolled 23

Reportin for duty SAH!

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>>23016776
Surprisingly enough, the skeletons don't break off from their battle as the ogres pass into the ziggurat. There are a few strange cases as both the glowing and non-glowing undead try to break away and attack the intruders, but someone from the other side invariably took advantage of the distraction to chop it down.

When the ogres (and elves and patchwings) DO pass through, they end up in a large, mostly-featureless room with a ridiculously tall ceiling; judging from what they saw of the building from the outside, this one room seems to account for most of the ziggurat's insides, actually. The floor looks like some sort of packed clay substrate-

- though what really catches the eye is the piles of bones in each of the four corners, along with quite a few more bones scattered across the floor; broken pottery shards are also littered here and there. There are also gouges all along the walls and floors, which... seem to have been made by some large, clawed creature.

"Patchwing?" "Still missing?" "Patchwing, patchwing, patchwing!" the ogres' winged allies mutter amongst themselves, looking ill at ease in this confined space, despite its size.

Some of the elves are already at work casing out the area near the ziggurat's entrance, and one of them calls back to the group. "Commander! ... and, uh, boss! There appears to be a stairwell leading further down."

Celicia pipes up as well. "And another one leading up..." Here, she sighs tiredly. "... but it's on the other side of the room, across a seemingly-empty floor littered with bones and who knows what else. Of /course/."

(Cont.)

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>>23016816
Boss Bawss scratches his head. Well, the missing patchwing is /probably/ upstairs, since it fell into the chute/chimney set at the very top of the structure, but...

[ ] [UP] Go upstairs! We gotta get our missing patchwing!
[ ] [DOWN] Go downstairs! Hey, the stairwell's /right here/, why not.
[ ] [SCOUT UP] (Patchwing) Send your bird friends lookin' upstairs! Better be careful, right?
[ ] [SCOUT DOWN] (Patchwing) Send your bird friends lookin' downstairs! Who knows what monsters are there?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>23016841
Scout up AND down - half the patchwings! We'll closely examine these piles of bones. Maybe we can find some good clubs. Or some magic bones.

Rolled 41

>>23016841
We'll go down, patchwings go up.

>permanently clumre

That sounds good.

>>23016841
[ ] [UP] Patchwing! Patchwing, Patchwing, Patchwing!

>>23016860
This also.

>>23016841
> [ X ] WRITE-IN

Have the geomancers make a tunnel going all the way from the top of the tower to the bottom.

I mean, it's made of fucking stone, right?

That way the patchwings can go up and down and CARRY THE OGRES.

>>23016841
We go up, Elves Scout down.

Patchwings as socuts? Seriously?

>>23016816
Let's all go up. I don't want this to be a case of Scooby Doo doors, even though its Blorp and there probably will be Scooby Doo doors, so all up.

>>23016880

Can't trip any traps if we're not taking the stairs.

Rolled 86

>>23016880

Seconded.

Discount earlier vote.

>>23016880

Fuck this ziggurat. I vote for this

>>23016902
>>23016934
Who knows what could be waiting up there to fall on us.

We have to go [UP]! There could be an honorary ogre in danger up there.

>>23016880
This.

>>23016841

[X] Up!

No Ogre left behind, even honorary ogres that are actually hyena-bird person.

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>>23016976

I pity the fool.

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It was actually pretty close, but- looks like we're going for GEOMANCE THE FUCK OUT OF THINGS!

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 73

>>23017055
GOOO

Rolled 12

>>23017055
Shall we

Rolled 81

>>23017066
You! Who are you?
You're no ogre.

Rolled 80

>>23017055

Rollin'

>>23017082

He's Anongre

Rolled 80

>>23017066

>I made us avoid worst possible roll

>Feels good man.

>>23017089
>>23017101

OH SHIT WE ROLLED DOUBLES

(I was >>23017089 )

Rolled 62

>>23017055

>>23017055
>Blorp, maybe you ought to take the first of three.

Rolled 98

>>23017055

Incoming fail

>>23017127
>Best of first three, sorry

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>>23017143

YOU DARE LIMIT OUR NATURAL OGRE LUCK?!

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>>23017127
>>23017143
>>23017192
Well, I usually just take the first roll, anyway. Unless it's all part of a terrifyingly improbable chain of rolls.

...

Unsure if two 80s as the 4th and 5th rolls count...

Rolled 62

>>23017250
Pop count is at around 120...

Hrm. Math.

LET MY DICE DECIDE UPON THIS QUADARY!

>>23017115
>>23017280

Okay, twice now Derm has rolled what someone else rolled, and he was first roll after your post, Blorp.

Count the 80s. Ogres have spoken.

>>23017250

MY NAME AIN'T COURTNEY, YOU SILLY OGRE

AND YOU SHOULD COUNT 'EM.

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>>23017317
>>23017328
>80
>80
>62
>62
I

but

that's not

... FFFFFF

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>>23017404

Do it, ya nigga!

COUNT DAT SHIT

Rolled 82

>>23017404

On Bay12Games, home of Dwarf Fortress, I am known as Derm, breaker of Dungeon Masters.

I am happy to know my powers have not stagnated.

Rolled 59

>>23017404
Error 404: Cannot Find Blorp

>>23017459
That's... a combined roll. 62? 80? 82.

>>23017250

We are continually getting crit succeses. A fail now and then can't hurt and it gives additional drama to the quest

Rolled 74

>>23017517
This certainly is true.

>>23017517

This quest is about one thing: RIDICULOUSNESS.

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>>23017517
WELL, it would have been a success, anyway, so I'm a little more comfortable in making it... you know.

A stupid ridiculous success.

LET'S DO THIS SHIT

>>23017567

FURKIN' YEAHR!

Rolled 56

>>23017567

LETS DO THIS

>>23017567

This quest has brutally broken Blorp's mind so many times it's brainwashed him into believing he loves it.

Good....good.

>>23017567

What's the source for that pic?

>>23017676
Katanagatari, methinks?

>>23017676
One click on the google image search link would tell you.

Rolled 78

>>23017676

Katanagatari. 4chan has the inline reverse image search you know..

>>23017701

It annoys the piss out of me when people ask for source; they haft to type 'sauce', enter the captcha, and then wait for someone to tell them to fuck off. When all you haft to do is click 'google' in the inline script.

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>>23016841
>>23017055
>[X] [GEOMANCE OUR OWN PATH]
>73 - Successful!
>... and a series of improbable rolls!

Boss Bawss thinks long and hard about their plans going forward. If they go straight downstairs, who knows what horrible things they'll find? The larger ogre distinctly remembers the dwarves telling them about the mysterious chamber of bones they found deep underground- but on the OTHER hand, they need to go upstairs and retrieve their missing patchwing. Except the staircase leading UP is across a suspiciously empty floor, with bones forbiddingly- or even forBONEdingly- scattered every which way, promising horrible shenanigans that-

"... eh," Boss Bawss suddenly says. "Fuck it."

Celicia blinks. The elves also blink. Even the patchwings stop cawing to blink at Boss Bawss. "... pardon?" Celicia asks uncertainly.

"Fuck it," Boss Bawss Fistboss confirms, cracking his knuckles. "Seriously. We gotta go save our patchwing pal, an' I don't got time for dungeon-delvin' shenanigoonies. 'Cause, you know, I'm da boss an' all. Geomancers!"

The lightly armored (for ogres, anyway) spellcasters look up. "Yah, boss!"

Their boss and leader, using both hands, points at the ceiling and the floor. "Geomance da heck outta dis thing!"

The geomancers look at each other. "... but boss, we're almost outta magic," one pipes up.

"Yah, boss," adds another. This geomancer raises his hands, showing how there's barely any glow left. "We spent all of da magic stuff in our gizzards pullin' dis fing outta da ground, an'-"

"Nope."

The geomancers blink. "Er... no, boss?"

Boss Bawss Fistboss claps his hands. "Clap on!"

Like some sort of gimmicky lamp whose switch is linked to that sort of sound effect, the geomancers' magical energy returns in a rush.

"Now put your right hand in!" Boss Bawss commands.

After a moment's confusion, the geomancers stab their right hands into the dirt, much to the approval of their superior.

"Now you shake it all about-"

(Cont.)

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>>23017880
Outside the ziggurat, the battle comes to a temporary (but immediate) halt when a localized earthquake knocks damn well near EVERYONE off their feet. The skeletons look up in blank uncomprehending wonder as the ziggurat lists hard to the left, and then to the right, and then-

- starts being restructured as if molded by the hands of a thousand psychotic man-children, the sound of rock breaking and reforming echoing through the surrounding desert. The ziggurat swiftly goes from being a sensible wide-based structure to something more akin a potato balanced upon a thick rod, and from there, more and more detail becomes visible on the changing structure...

And thus, from the remains of some old ruins, the Ogre's Fist monument is born.


... meanwhile, back INSIDE the whatever-the-hell-it-is-now, the ogres look up at the ceiling, which stretches farther up into what looks like some sort of small chamber (which now has a gaping hole in its floor).

And then they look down at the floor, which leads to a vast underground chamber littered with bones (which now has a gaping hole in its ceiling).

Boss Bawss scratches his head. "... yah, somethin' like dat."

[ ] [UP FIRST] Recover our patchwing! Loot the room!
[ ] [DOWN FIRST] Explore the basement! Loot the room!
[ ] [SPLIT THE PARTY] Because that's always an excellent idea!
[ ] [WRITE-IN!]

>>23017890
Up. We leave no ogre or patchwing behind.

>>23017890
[X] [UP FIRST] Recover our patchwing! Loot the room!

Bros first.

Rolled 26

>>23017890
Up first!

Patchwing!

Rolled 18

>>23017890
Half the party led by Boss heads up, half the party lead by celia heads down. Evin split between all subparties.

>>23017890
[UP FIRST] FRIENDS COME FIRST

And I don't think we should loot the room... Not right now, anyway.

See what's causing the necromancy first before we start stealing his/her stuff.

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>>23017880
>forBONEdingly

Until this moment this particular sidequest was in dire shortage of skellington puns.

>>23017890
>[ ] [WRITE-IN!] KICK DOWN DOOR!
>[ ] [UP FIRST] Recover our patchwing! Loot the room!

Seriously, how could we forget the basics?

>>23017980
A skeleton crew of puns, really.

Rolled 22

Oh shit, I just realized something.

We're in fucking DEEPROT. We just transformed Deeprot into a god damn FIST.

>>23017980
>>23018004
Well, bone jokes have always been humerus

>>23017890
Someday, we are going to have to either equip the monument to Ogir place, or some how create a land mark sized bro fist with it.

>>23018110

Ogir Place needs a Krumpin' Fist.

>>23018092
Undead-powered ogre spaceship/tank/supercomputer time!

>>23018110
>>23018132

How are we going to create an Empire of Friendship if you all keep putting every monument on Ogir Place?

>>23018162
By making everywhere the Ogir Place.

>>23018162

We make it a mobile Empire of Friendship.

>>23018162

By adding unto Ogir Place until it's a world unto itself.

Stupid.

>>23018227
First the Fist.

Then the Hive.

Then maybe the moon.

Then everything fucking else.

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>>23018266
>Aliens arrive to conquer the planet
>The planet turns around, revealing previously-concealed limbs
>"WELCOME TO OGIR PLANET, FRIENDS"

>>23018319
WE HAVE ONE OF OUR MANY GOALS!

>>23018365
>>23018319

Second Goal: GET PET PUGS they'resofuckingcute

>>23018379
Ogres are already kinda let giant barely-sapient pugs.

>>23018470
>kinda let
kinda like

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>>23017890
>[X] [UP]!

Boss Bawss makes his decision in a split-second. "Right, we gotta go find dat patchwing. An' dat means we gotta go up."

"But we'll need some way to get up there. Like- you know... rope ladders?" Celicia protests, though it's half-hearted- she's starting to get a knack for following Boss Bawss's thought processes (which gives her mixed feelings about the whole deal, honestly). And if she's reading it correctly...

Her fears are confirmed when Boss Bawss jerks a thumb at the group of giant bat riders standing by the entrance. "Who sez we need ladders?"

A few moments later, the patchwings are the first to make it to the upper chamber, and promptly reunite themselves with their missing brethren. ("Wow! Patchwing! Hi, hi!" "Hi!" "Hiii! Not missing! Yay!" "Wow! Hi hi hi! Yay!" "Long time no see!" "Patchwing!" "Yay!")

A few moments after that, the lucky bats who avoided being chosen for transport make it up as well, landing in the corner to make room for the other newcomers (and shooing the patchwings away from the edge of the big hole in the floor).

... minutes later, those few unlucky bats who WERE chosen for transport service wheeze and pant their way up to the upper chamber, towing approximately a dozen ogres, the rough riders' naked mole ravagers, and the brigade of elves, all of which are clinging onto the ankles of the person above them and forming some sort of insane chain.

"Commander Celicia, wouldn't it have been easier to tell Boss Bawss Fistboss that we could have used the patchwings to carry us?" one elf whispers.

"... no," Celicia growls back, her eyelid twitching every now and then. "Just let them do whatever it is they do to reality and the goddamn laws of physics. It's easier that way."

(Cont.)

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>>23018529
Once the combined task force of ogres, elves, and their assorted beasts untangle themselves from each other... well, the chamber suddenly doesn't seem all that large. At least there isn't room for any hidden anythings; once again, the room looks like something worked it over with three chainsaws or some such.

Celicia picks through the old debris with some distaste, poking at it with the business end of her rifle. "... dammit. You'd think that for all this trouble, we'd get SOME sort of fucking recompense." She straightens up and flicks her blonde hair back over one shoulder. "It's almost like this dump was a bedroom instead of the guarded treasure chamber that it SHOULD be."

One ogre digging through the corner stands u and waves a hand. "'ey, boss! Boss, I found books!"

"Wot? Books in a ruin?" Boss Bawss exclaims, his eyebrows going so high that they brush against his scalp. "Dat's just not right! I thought we'd get somethin' a lot cooler, like... like..."

"A weapons cache?" Celicia adds helpfully.

"... like cake," Boss Bawss finishes. "But weapons are cool, too. -- 'ere, hand it over." The larger ogre takes the first book and flips through it, frowning thoughtfully. "... it's gibberish," he says. "Can't read it."

"For one, you're holding it upside-down," Celicia deadpans, not unkindly. She plucks the book from his hands and straightens it out, taking a look at its pages. "... it's not elven or even demonic- thank gods," she mutters. "I... THINK it's whatever chickenscratch the humans shit out of their pens when they think they have a coherent thought. It would be better to check with Lockstock and the other dwarves, maybe."

"Oh, hey, we don't need to do that!" Boss Bawss says brightly. "There's a glowy human right here, and he looks just angry enough to help us!"

"... wait, wha-" Celicia spins around, dropping the book and raising her rifle. "SHIT!!"

(Cont.)

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>>23018536
REACTION TIME!

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 84

>>23018553

Oh boy.

Rolled 16

>>23018553

(Any method to this madness, Blorp, or is it just standard rolling procedure?)

Rolled 94

>>23018553

ROLLIN' TAIM

Rolled 1

>>23018553

HAHA TIME FOR /tg/ DICE TO FAIL

Rolled 60

>>23018553

It's time for some Ogre Luck!

>>23018577
HAHA TIME FOR OGER

>>23018577
>>23018575

Depending on how he takes these rolls, I think...

Maybe.

Rolled 2

>>23018553
Damn, I'm late.

>>23018575
>>23018563
>>23018577


HIHIHIHIHIHI

OH BLORP, I don't think your sanity will last.

Rolled 62

>>23018577
in any other quest you'd be right

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>>23018575
>>23018577
>>23018593

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>>23018567
just standard rolling procedure

.... just......... standard rolling p-procedure......

Rolled 37

>>23018577
what the actual fuck

>>23018608

Good... Good...

This pleases me.

>>23018608
Standard Rolling Procedure: read as, Fuck Blorp's Sanity

Rolled 83

Huh, that makes a 1 and a 100 I've rolled in one thread.

Fucking ogres man. Their luck is contagious.

>>23018608
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>23018724

^ the sound of the average Ogre Quest player when there's a 1

>>23018655
I thank you and your own personal RNG for this.

Rolled 20

>>23018739

I have a friend who has a set of dice that only work for me. Anybody else uses them, they get mediocre rolls no matter what. I use them, they become something the DM fears.

My luck is bound to run about, eventually.

>>23018782
That's some sense of humor the dice have.

Rolled 88

>>23018804
Hello?

Rolled 70

>>23018965

Who's there?

Rolled 82

>>23018965

>Addressed to thread in general, forgot to remove the thingy that let me quick reply.

>>23018608

You still broken, Blorp?

Rolled 92

>>23018979

Probably.

>>23018965
>>23018976
>>23018978
>>23018997

>>23018979
With those rolls, I think so.

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Putting the finishing touches onto this particular event, so it's taking a little longer than usual, sorry!

GOOD THING I STOPPED WORRYING ABOUT SUCH LITTLE THINGS AS 'BALANCE' LONG AGO

Rolled 27

>>23019022

Let's even it up a little bit then. Incoming fail...

>>23019031
Ba-lance? I don't understand what this balance thing you speak of is

>>23019060
>What is balance?

A THING FOR FAGGOTS

>>23019031
What about sanity get rid of that too?

Rolled 55

>>23019031
That may be because you define 90% of possible rolls as a success.

Rolled 43

>>23019073

>faggots

Faggots are cool though. They have great taste in clothes. Have you seen their wardrobes?

No, balance is worse than people who believed in Hitler.

Rolled 88

>>23019078

Obviously the solution is to have one roll count as the bad guys roll.

>>23019100
>>23018965
stoppit.

>>23019078
10-60 might as well be fail
doubles excluded

>>23019060
Clearly he meant the Baa-Lance, a lance made entirely out of sheep.

>>23019121
Oh, the legendary Baa-Lance of the Goat riders? Why didn't he say so?

Rolled 89

>>23019109

Nu

>>23019139
It's creepy. One less and it'd be creepier still.

Rolled 74

>>23019139

I would have left the thread if you had rolled another 88 claiming witchcraft.

But fuck,

>>23019155
I don't think Ogres have mastered that quite yet.

>>23019155
buttfuck?

Rolled 15

>>23019173

Ass-babies.

>>23019190
rabies?

>>23019199


Pastries.

>>23019230
maced-fleas?

Rolled 64

>>23019242

Ogres, please.

>>23019242

minced-knees

>>23019253

Cougars Sneeze.

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>>23019253
WHAT?! Leave me alone!

>>23019253
>>23019270
H'okay I'm done
huehueh

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>>23019031
>>23018553
>>23018536
>84, 16, 94, 1, 2
>why

The apparition- glowing a faint blue- coalesces from the vague humanoid shape into an old man in tattered robes and a deranged look in his eyes- through he DOES have a wickedly amazing handlebar mustache to make up for it. "FOOL!" the ghost thunders, leveling a glare right at Celicia. "DO YOU HONESTLY THINK YOUR MUNDANE WEAPONS WILL WORK ON ONE SUCH AS-"

He doesn't have time to complete that sentence before his chest explodes into a smoking crater, ectoplasm spattering the wall behind him.

"- /FUCK/," the ghost gasps, staggering back against the wall. "FUCKNUGGETS," he adds as the other elves follow suit, rifle fire blowing off the phantom's limbs.

"... do you really think ghosts have a monopoly on going ethereal?" Celicia snorts, keeping her gun trained on their opponent. "The demons tried it years ago, asshole, we know how to deal with that shit."

The much-battered ghost doesn't bother responding- hell, it doesn't actually seem to be beyond listening to anyone, instead raving and ranting as its dismembered(?) body parts(?) start dissolving into puddles of rapidly-evaporating ectoplasm. "You're all in league with that bitch Ryagmos, aren't you!?" it rants. "You and the sun, I bet you got a /bone/ to pick with me! Well, I'll show you! I'll show you all! We'll see who's laughing when the world gets /boned/! And I'll /bone/ you first! The sun will be my wife! Then you'll see who's immortal, and who isn't! Ahahaha! AHAHAHA-"

And with that, the ghost disappears into nothingness, though that's mostly helped along by Celicia's well-placed headshot.

"... well, shit," she growls. "THAT was a colossal waste of time. We turned a ziggurat into some kind of tower, avoided a bunch of fights, got a bunch of books we can't read..."

"But we showed dis place who da boss REALLY is, an' dat's da most important thing," Boss Bawss Fistboss adds firmly. "Now- c'mon, boys, let's get back downstairs," he says...

(Cont.)

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>>23019337
... and he starts down the staircase made entirely of bones that was probably not there a few seconds ago.

"... wait." Celicia stares. "... where the everloving fuck did that staircase come from."

One of the ogres peers down the hole into the lower levels. "Boss! Da basement!" he yelps. "It's fillin' up with bones!!"

As everyone looks down, they hear a constant rattling sound, as if the ground beneath the former-ziggurat is pushing up a near-infinite amount of bones. The basement is already all but full, and the ground-floor chamber...

Boss Bawss calmly watches for a moment, the gears in his head turning. Eventually: "... yah, I think it's time to go," he rumbles.

(Cont.)

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>>23019356
"Okay, so to recap..."

Once everyone's safe and back at Ogir Place, Gubbins starts counting off on his fingers, putting together what everyone just told him. "We got books dat we're gonna have to get someone else to read for us, we turned a ziggurat into... what did you say again?"

"Some kind of infinite bone-dispensing structure," Celicia repeats, already on her fifth cigarette of the day.

"Yah, dat. An' you fought a ghostly guy who screamed a lotta weird things," the master Geomancer continues.

"But he died real quick," Boss Bawss confirms.

"Huh." Gubbins glances at the mindlessly-milling pack of yellow-glowing skeletons wandering around the oasis of Ogir Place. "... an' you brought back all these guys /because/...?"

"Well... you know." Boss Bawss Fistboss shrugs helplessly. "Dey were homeless an' followed us back 'cause dey had nothin' better to do? These guys already smashed all da skeletons not like them."

"Huh." Gubbins sucks on his lower lip as he thinks. "... so, just a usual day for us, then?"

Boss Bawss nods. "Just a usual day for us, yah."

>The Ziggurat has turned into Ogir Fist Monument!
>Ogir Fist Monument is now a source of infinite bones, and will be listed as such under available materials!
>The ogres have acquired [Crazy Ghost's Books]!
>[??? Glowing Skeletons] have joined Ogir Place!
>They come equipped with a few as-of-yet-undiscovered abilities, and seem to have most of the perks of being undead, but can't be repaired or replaced as you lack [Necromancy].

>>23019378
didn't we have that one book on Necromancy? That we never read though.

>>23019378
We have a necromancy tome, right? Gubbins is learn necromancy!

Thank you Blorp, for the quest, and dice, for fucking Blorps mind. Time to necromance?

>>23019430
WE SHALL BEAT THAT THING INTO OUR HEADS!

Rolled 65

>>23019378

Time to learn how to be a bone-ifided necromancer!

>>23019445
>Gubbins learn necromancy

NO! BOSS BAWSS FISTBOSS will learn!

Then later we can have an impossibly lucky ogre-lich to rule over Ogir Place

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OH SHIT GUYS, BONES. FERTILIZER.

Because that's how bones work, right?

>>23019430
Better Bone up on that reading!

>>23019481
Implying we don't want necro-geomancy to rule supreme.

>>23019378
Now we have something to feed the Patchwings!

>>23019481
Wait, yes. Besides, Boss Bawss diploman... dipl... talked them into joinig the ogres.
Changing my vote from>>23019445

>>23019378
We mix necromancy and geomancy to make bone-rock-golem-undead things.

(Blorp, when will you archive this thread? I really don't wanna see Ogre Quest drop a session accidentally)

>>23019498
We got dese bone things in us, right? And they make us stronger right? So if we give golems bone things, that'd make em stronger, right?

>>23019545
its already been archived

>>23019545
It looks like someone actually already archived it! So we're good on that front.

Rolled 4

>>23019570

Your welcome, by the way.

I mislabled the actual thread number, though.

>>23019378
>infinite bones
>INFINITE BONES
>tuuuuuuuuuuubes.jpg
Does this mean this quest is getting bone mechs?

TO THE NECROMANCY BOOKS

>>23019570

Other than a misnumbering, its fine. :3

>>23019587
It also implies DEEPROT.

>>23019584
There is a dice joke in that somewhere.

Rolled 52

>>23019611

FInd it and report back to me by four. I need COMEDY, people, and it ain't walking in here by itself!

Lets name one of the most prominent glowy skeletons, Mr. Bones.

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>>23019378
>Interrogate Demon

Later in the day, Boss Bawss Fistboss stands in the heart of Ogir Place. Not that that's a particularly easy task for anyone who's not as durable or resistant to temperature changes as an ogre; this room is made hotter than hot by the demonfire constantly being pumped to every corner of the ogres' base, to be used for cooking, forging, warming, just plain pyromaniac-ing, and so on and so forth.

... and Boss Bawss Fistboss is currently in a staring contest against the great Demon Lord B-something, more accurately known as 'Cuddles' by everyone in Ogir Place. Or rather, the demon sealed almost completely in rock, except for his head, upon which rests a typically ogre-esque hat that somehow seals most of his powers and prevents him from escaping. And he is also gagged to stop him from yelling and screaming and being a nuisance.

However, Cuddles isn't glaring impotently at Boss Bawss Fistboss, as is his usual wont.

... today, he is grinning smugly.

[ ] [WRITE-IN] What do you guys want to ask the demon about?

Examples: Cuddles may divulge some previously unknown tech, report on something happening in the Old World, tell something about himself, or reveal information about some race's movements.

>>23018567
>>23018563
mmmm dem reciprocals of 100

>>23019652
Ask him if he knows any glowing skeletons named Mr. Bones.

>>23019652
Ask him why he's grinning.

Then we can ask about if he's got any clever ideas for tech and what the other folks around us are up to.

>>23019652
So...dem bones is kind weird. What's up with that?

>>23019652
I believe we wanted a giant flaming sword of destiny for Ogir Place.

Also, we should ask about dat evil bug thing we suppose to fight.

>>23019652
>"What would you do if you had a lotta bones?"

>"I'm talkin', like, a LOTTA bones."

>>23019652
Ask him if he'd like some tea.

...do we even have tea?

Rolled 21

>>23019652

[X] WRITE IN

So...demon Lord B-something....What's ya deally? And what with all the hot stuff and all that? Also that hat looks good on yas!

>>23019652
How you like the hat?
Why is this continent such a deathtrap?
You know any elf merchant guys?
Hey, gimme the down low on Necromancy so I can talk with these skeletons.

>>23019703
this

>>23019706
We should invent tea.

>>23019703
I like it

>>23019763
So, Cuddles, can you teach us how to make dat weird hot leaf liquid what we see da elves drink at times? Den we can offur it to you all cordial-like.

>>23019652
Ask him if he wants a hat.

>>23019832
He already has a hat. But we could give him another.

>>23019703
seems like the way to go for me.

>>23019795
>"So, Cuddles, can you teach us how ta make dat weird hot leaf liquid wot we see da elves drink sometimes?"
>"Why don't you just ask your elf friend, you simpleton?"
>"So, Cecilia, can Cuddles teach us how ta make dat weird hot leaf liquid wot we see you lot drink sometimes?"

>>23019703
I've got a bone to pick witch ya Cuddles

>>23019875
I laughed like a Jackal. I applaud you sir.

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>>23019842
I honestly forgot about that. But you do have a good idea there.

>>23019652
So. Something good happened to you today. Wanna share?

Does anybody remember the bone dragon thing? I forget what her name was.

>>23019652
"Alright, so, yous and the elves, you been fighting a lot, right? Wut's dat all about?"

"Right, right, so, Uhhh, Fire. We gots a lot of it from you, but, you know, besides being hot and stuff, it's. . . Look, you has all sorts of dark, evil knowledge not meant for this world, right? And you could, like, share some of it with us right? So. . . Hows about you teach us what cooking is?"

>>23019962
>that bitch Ryagmos

So, yeah, necromantic wars! Oh snap, we've got the necromantic tomes from both sides!

We need a new named Ogre to be our, like, Head Chief Ultra-Boney Necrogre. Because he needs to wear our sweet necromanticly forged baleful armor and act melodramatic. You know, to make the magic work right.

>>23019652
Ask him for the method to summon and bind one of his rivals.

We'll do that. And stick a hat on it for good measure. And we can have TWO demon lords! Twice the evil, twice the technology, twice the accidental arson, twice the demon corruption in our ogres! It can't possibly end badly.

>>23019652
>So uh, Cuddles. You uh, you need anyfin' over here? Cause we got taters and stuff.

>>23020114
Why just stop at two? BIND ALL THE DEMONS! Use them for hot water and improvised drum sets!

>>23020155

What we need now is a demon that makes things cold.

That way, the ogre can have air conditioning all year round! And keep their drinks cool.

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>>23019652
>[X] Wot's with you? Why are you grinning?
>[X] How do you make tea?
>[X] What do you do with infinite bones?

"... so you're in a good mood today," Boss Bawss rumbles, eying the demon a trifle suspiciously. "Wot, did somethin' good happen?"

After a few muffled growls, Boss Bawss remembers to remove the makeshift gag from Cuddles' mouth- and then the REAL interrogation begins.

"Gahaha... no! Of course not! Why, there is no way that one such as I, stuck in a situation such as this, could ever be in a good mood!" Demon Lord B-something chortles. "It is only that your doom will soon be upon you, you filthy unwashed simpletons!"

Boss Bawss Fistboss, looking entirely unconcerned, cleans his own ear with a pinky finger. "Really? Why's dat? Are you gonna be da herb-banger of doom?"

"It's 'harbinger,' you dolt!" Cuddles snaps. "And yes! Yes, I will be the one to doom you!"

Boss Bawss Fistboss gives the demon a /look/.

"... w... what? No! Stop looking at me like that!" the demon lord hisses, trying unsuccessfully to scoot his rock farther away.

Boss Bawss Fistboss does not relent, nor does he back down.

"F-Fine! No, I will not be the one to bring about your doom! It will be the Formichroma, for I feel a great kindred power in their savage leader!" Cuddles growls in that horrifying bass rumble of his, finally snapping. "But it's not like I wanted to tell you or anything, got it?"

"... I hafta say, it ain't nearly as cute as when one of da elves sez somethin' like dat," Boss Bawss says eventually.

"CURSE YOU, DAMNABLE ELVES!" Cuddles immediately howls into the uncaring sky- or rather, ceiling. "ONE DAY- OOOH, YES, ONE DAY- WE SHALL PROVE OURSELVES SUPERIOR IN /ALL/ RESPECTS!!"

Boss Bawss Fistboss ignores this outburst as the usual course of events, and starts snacking on the ants he found tromping around inside his ears. "Speakin' of da elves, dey got dis strange technology dey got..."

(Cont.)

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>>23020402
"Oh no you don't," Cuddles snarls. "I, the great Demon Lord B-"

"Cuddles," Boss Bawss interjects, talking over the demon.

"- will not reveal to you any great secret, or technological advance, that will allow you to triumph over your foes!" Cuddles finishes. "I despise you, ogre, and will not deign to give you any such advantage! Do you hear me!?"

"How do you make tea?"

There's a frozen silence.

"You... you went to all this trouble to bind me into this thrice-cursed stone... just to ask how to make tea," Cuddles repeats, stupefied beyond all belief.

"Yah." Boss Bawss nods. "I was real curious."

"... pah!" Cuddles retorts, his ego swelling back up. "I see how it is! You are too afraid to ask me for anything else, for you fear what price I will extract from you in return for such an answer, correct? THAT is why you ask me for such a piddling bit of information!!"

"Yah?" Boss Bawss Fistboss hazards, having gotten lost at 'pah'.

"Well, I will not even deign to teach you that much!" Cuddles exhorts. "You will never learn how to take aromatic leaves and boil them in water, so as to make your worthless mortal drink known as 'tea'! And the secret will die with me! Ahahaha, gahahahaha!!"

(cont.)

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>>23020418
Boss Bawss Fistboss finishes committing all of that to memory. "... got it. So- one last fing, then. Wot would you do if you had an infinite number of bones?"

"Pah! What kind of stupid question is that? I would make a throne of bones, of course! ... well, that and fertilizer," Cuddles adds. "But the throne of bones is the best use of your bones."

"A throne of bones... huh. 'Kay. Thanks, Cuddles! I knew I could count on you."

"'ey, boss! His demon fire's startin' to cool down," Gubbins calls in from outside the door. "It's time to put da gag back into Cuddles' mouth!"

"Aw, man, dat time already? ... well, it's been good talkin' to ya, Cuddles. I'll see ya later!" Boss Bawss Fistboss then proceeds to stuff the gag back into Cuddles' mouth and walk back out of the demonic fire heating chamber, humming a small ditty to himself.

>Cuddles feels [a great kindred power] in the leader of the Formichroma.
>The ogres have learned how to make [Tea]!
>The ogres have learned how to make [Fertilizer] out of bones!
>The ogres have learned how to make thrones out of bones!
>... for the Ogir Place golem itself!

>>23020402
>"But it's not like I wanted to tell you or anything, got it?"
>Demon Lord

Wait, what?
Are we sure they use the word 'Lord' the same way we do?

Does anyone know how to sex a demon?

>>23020441
You know what we need.

One gigantic BONE THRONE.

Additional BONE ARMOUR. Gigantic BONE UPSIDE DOWN HATS (to fit around OGIR PLACE'S limbs and provide additional luck, so we've got a tree on the top and a reverse hat covering the uprooted portion of it)

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>>23020441
>Throne of Bones
>For Ogre Place itself
>Pic related

>>23020402
>"CURSE YOU, DAMNABLE ELVES!" Cuddles immediately howls into the uncaring sky- or rather, ceiling. "ONE DAY- OOOH, YES, ONE DAY- WE SHALL PROVE OURSELVES SUPERIOR IN /ALL/ RESPECTS!!"

This is best Tsundere.

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>>23020484
I would think it's quite simple.

>>23020493
Dragon bone dildo?

>>23020484
Ogres don't know what sex is in the first place.

>>23020441
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!

>>23020521
We've never seen female ogres, for that matter. They're a myth.

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O... OKAY. Sorry, you guys, but I'm feeling kind of run down today, and am having some trouble focusing on the screen, so I'm going to call an early end tonight.

We'll pick up next week at the same time- Wednesday, Feb. 13th, at 7 pm EST.

Thanks for following this quest, and I hope you guys are enjoying it! If you got anything you'd like to comment on re: this thread, don't be afraid to drop a line here!

>>23020534
Why use female ogres when we have female elves?

>>23020552
Because elves don't fit with ogres, in several respects.

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>>23020484
>not the useless meat variety of demon lord, I'm sorry to say

>>23020576
I bet they don't even lift.

>>23020542
Does our population of ogres increase through ogres merely finding their way to Ogir Place or Reproduction? Also do we have any female ogres?

>>23020418
>"You will never learn how to take aromatic leaves and boil them in water, so as to make your worthless mortal drink known as 'tea'!"
>ogres find a chemistry book
>start boiling benzene in order to make tea
>it somehow works
Fucking ogres.

Next time we visit him, we gotta bring coffee. Since, y'know, he never taught us how to make tea and all.

>>23020542
I laugh till I hurt, Blorp, like I do every time. Catch some sleep.

>>23020542

Backlogs of extra material, remember?

>>23020588
Ogres increase their numbers merely by finding their way to Ogir Place.

... despite rain, sleet, snow, or the fact that Ogir Place is not actually located in any natural habitat of ogres, which is presumed to involve crossing the ocean.

>>23020576
I think we could find a way to make them fit

>>23020603
You know, I'm wondering if it wouldn't be smart to just get a list of ideas and have them typed out ready for next wensday

>>23020441

... A Throne of Bones...

Hey!

We should make one of those for the Ogretek Armor's human form, too!

It can hold the armor when it's not being used.

>>23020618
Will we ever find female Ogres?

>>23020639
>ogres with front-butts

The ogres of Ogir Place pee themselves in fear at the mere thought of it.

>>23020639

And has any ogre tried to mate or has fallen in love with any Elf?

Alright, so I feel our basic plan is:

Skull throne made out of skulls for Boss Baws.
Bone Throne made of all the other bones for Ogir Place. (Maybe in Ogir Crater?)

Research Necromancy. Create powerful Necrogre. Seriously, we have the resources. Could be useful.

Get a gift for the tsundere demon so s/he'll teach us forbidden dark arts the likes of which mortal minds cannot bear. Which is okay, since things bypass our minds from our ears to our hands and we just do things.

Bone hats?

And, oh yeah, give our enemies a serious krumpin' at this War stuff.

>>23020639
>>23020656
Dammit guys, dont turn this into Waifu Civ Quest. Let the ogres be in their obliviousness.

>>23020656
ogres+love≠sense

>>23020687
I'm not trying to turn it into anything just curious maybe they reproduce asexually?

>>23020441
>Bone throne
>For Ogir Place

My sides, Blorp. You keep blowing them off.

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>>23020639
Female ogres don't exist

If an ogre lives somewhere long enough, though, another one will eventually appear a few miles away

>>23020656
nope

>>23020603
>>23020628
... see, that would be the SMART thing to do

I pretty much have one idea left in the backlog of extra material I need to write out. YOU ARE ALL WELCOME TO GIVE ME MORE IDEAS

>>23020687

I'm not, I was just curious about if it had happened yet or not.

I'm not suggesting that Boss Bawss hook up with Celia (I don't see that happening at all. Other than partners, and maybe friends, they wouldn't go further).

>>23020656
You fool, don't you understand? All Ogres are female, and reproduce through trapping Demon Lords in rocks to make hot springs which they bathe in to take in the demon seed.

This whole Ogre Civilization things? It's the Ogre mating period. It happens every couple of thousand years, completely reshapes the world.

The whole Elf/Demon war is a holdover from the time-space paradox we created with their portal, and is jealousy of their current relationship.

It's all extremely unlikely to happen and only occurs because of Ogre luck.