Repair the Leman Russ, with gooey biomass!

>>22956643

I have no idea what the hell is going on here, or what any of this means, despite my interest in it.

Sage for not contributing.

>>22956705
>>22956705
nigga gonna get blammed then eaten.
>>22956643
i say we try to convert the 800, they would be beneficial to our cause.
also train them and get them guns/spread the faith and hybridize them.
later: get biomass from criminals and enemy troopers.

>>22956643
i say we dance
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVtwIQZE1v8)

>>22957185
DANCE DANCE

>>22957185
what the hell?
is that you?

>>22957185
>>22957309
have you been holding out on us steak?!

>>22957185
>>22957283
You look up. In the middle of Meat speaking to the civilians, you stand up. (Note: You may wish to dedicate some units to music. You will get a dance bonus.)
(I just decided to roll a d20 to get a result. I got a 20, I shit you guys not.)
You begin to dance. There is an awkward quiet due to your sudden outburst. Suddenly, however, you jump on top of the Chimera. You begin to spin around, your limbs impossible to be seen in the fast movements you are preforming. The civilians are in awe. Everyone is quiet, and their eyes are on you. Slowly, everyone begins to clap a beat, as your movements inspire them. You have just begun the biggest party that this town has ever had. Slowly but surely, everyone joins in, dancing and singing and simply enjoying themselves. It is a glorious sight.
>You have just converted 800 civilians to loyal servants to your cause. By dancing. God damnit you guys.

i say we rape bitches, make money.

>>22957430
leave that to the HOstealers mate

so, i think we dance to get their trust.

you there sir?

>>22957420
fuck yeah!

>>22957420
I'd follow him to the ends of the earth I would!

>>22957420
now lets build up a trade route with the nearby town to move supplies and troops, use bio-backed civilian transports.

>>22957937
(Sorry, girlfriend wanted to do something, back though!)
>>22957937
(In order to this, you'd need to first revisit said other towns, plus, you need to actually set up shop in the current town.)

>>22958657
ah,
well lets do that.

>>22958804
After spending the entire night partying, you decide it's about high time to begin to actually set up some sort of system of government in the new town. (You still need to name the three towns.)
>Who shall you put in charge of this new town?

>>22959041
>>22959041
Meat, or the poor ginger girl obviously.
unless you want me to have a companion, i wouldn't mind considering the only other human that survived my squad was turned into a guarifex. in which case, we leave a Hostealer or the other human than the one we picked.

>>22959187
(Speaking of said girl, you guys still need to decide on what you want to do with her...)
You decide to leave Meat with the town, considering he knows the locals well. In the meantime, you decide to attempt to get a supply-line throughout your three towns made.
>You now have 900 Biomass due to Rippers! Do you wish to return to the reclamation pool?

>>22959420
can we get more?
and i am ok with whatever you guys do to her, because i have coped with the fact i have no say.
just saying.

>>22959468
>>22959420
i vote for plasma tits and nid bits.
captcha: twalkets childhood

>>22959420
Steak needs a little friend,
lets make him one.

>>22959513
Yes, delicious bioplasma. And fux up the tank if we can.

>>22959420
we need little steaks to be spreading their tasty gene.
steak and taters is now the official couple of the quest.

>>22959041
hey! guess who it is!
so ideas in my head about w40krp hacks. using OW as a base.

aside from the rippers/hormas/termas specs i posted last time.

here's an outline of what i had in mind.
So guardsman specs being: (smaller, horde type nids)
Termagant (this includes any ranged variants, so spike rifles, spine fists and whatnot. weapon specialist analogue)
Hormagaunt (fast melee)
Rippers (grapplelords)

And then support specialists (Larger, more powerful things)
Warriors (SPESS MEHREHNS the spec. fold in the sweeping order mechanic from sarge in here?)
Genestealers (xenomorphs, who probably tote around some brood brothers as backup)
Lictors (fucking tankytastic stealth specialists, no comrades and absolutely brutal in their effective range)
Zoanthrope (astropaths. psoikahs. mindboolet.)

Human specialists, i guess, they’ll function a little bit different from the rest
Genestealer hybrid (not sure what to do with these)
Symboted human (beefsteaks. Social folks, Techpriest analogues only instead of implants gain biomorph upgrades?)

>>22959574
good mate

>>22959574
i think the human specialists should work like usual ones in OW, except that they have an entire pack for sandwich making

>>22959513
>>22959555
(Two for Bioplasma.
Not sure what exactly to do for nid bits... so many options.)
Before you leave the town, you ask to see the Leman Russ that is in the town. You are led to a beaten down, rusty tank that hardly looks like it could have ever moved in the first place. However, one of the locals turns it on, and sure enough, it moves, albeit extremely slowly. Human technology is strange.
>You have gained a piece of ju- I mean a Leman Russ!

i'm waiting for OP

>>22959787
vote for bio-duct-tape fix-er-up.

>>22959787
plasma tits and retractable mandibles.
try handling that on her period steak!

>>22959698
thinking of a specialty advance for symbioted humans being guardifex

Guardifex: you've decided to give up the holy human form and incorporate something of your new race. Select one of the below benefits:
and some sorta bonus for like each species
like Canrifex: SIZE INCREASE AND STRONGTUFF
Lictor: CHAMELEONIC STALKER BULLSHIT
Tervigon: SPAWNING NIDS
zoey: hive psyker
etc.

>>22959886
>>22959974
(You will need to head to the reclamation pool in order to spend biomass. On what is up to you guys.)
>Is it time to leave for the reclamation pool and the other towns, or does anyone want to do anything else before departing?

i think it is a bad idea to have this thread up at the same time as a superbowl.

>>22960041
also, monstergirls!

>>22960050
train the people, set up a store and government building first.

>>22960050
Nah, we good. Keep Meat here to make sure everything stays in order, bring Steak, Taters, and the hunkajunk Russ to the pool.

>>22960113
get 'em guns too

>>22960113
search the barricks, get supplies,
also, get the civvies some guns too
captcha: tfvicen circumcised

we need to get back on page 1!

>>22960173
>vote we call all vehicles hunkajunk

BUMP THIS MOTHERFUCKER

>>22960188
>>22960174
>>22960113
(So many steaks.)
>>22960099
(Do it. Fucking do it.)
>>22960188
>>22960174
Before you leave, you decide to get everything set up here. You acquire a supply of
>15 Lasguns!
>75 Laspacks!
You give out 10 Lasguns to the civilians for defense, along with their own personal weapons (Which many seem to own) along with 5 laspacks per lasgun. You keep the rest for yourself.
You declare the old mayor's building to be the new head of government for the town. You station Meat here to keep control over the town.

You decide now to head back to the reclamation pool.

>>22960385
i was trying to keep this thing alive

>>22960385
yeah, lets head to the pool.
i got my floaties.

>>22960385
>>22960605
RECLAMATION POOL PARTY!

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>>22960668
>>22960605
>>22960385
reclamation pool is closed due to templars and RAGE!
captcha: tdenth closed

>>22960605
>>22960668
Aw sheeit yall

We gotta turn reclamation pools into hot tubs.

Just stick with me here. We turn those suckers into spas, right? And then all of our subjects want to get in them, right? And then we set them up in such a way that they don't digest the individual, they just slough off the outer layers of grime and dead skin, leaving our subjects feeling great and making us sandwiches and giving us some extra biomass.

It wont be much and we would need a more standard reclamation pool for big orders or large biomass conversions, but it will let us add a little supplementary biomass to our stocks by “farming” towns.

>>22960730
fuck me that is brilliant.
>>22960687
fuck you that is bullshit.

>>22960798
HERETIC!

>>22960874
i am no heretic, just ask my hormissar,
right sir?
*lick*
ugh. right sir.

>>22960730
God.
Damnit.
This is genius. I may actually let you set this up at some point...
As you travel, you notice the familiar features re-appear in the land. You see the many capillary towers. You know this place is alive, and it knows you are too.
You see the pool appear up ahead!
>What the shit do you guys want to get?
>>22960893
He isn't a heretic. He is just delicious.

>>22960917
nice chimera,
and apparently a nice-looking girl for me, by human standards perhaps.

seriously yall, we need to step up on posting.

>>22960917
wait, how much do we actually have now? what can we purchase?
give us a damn store!

>>22961189
yeah, we need a list of costs to reference.

>>22960917
Lets get some hats.

>>22960917
We need more motherfucking hats.

>>22960917
>>22961266
>>22961304
i think hats are needed?

>>22960730
Follow him to the ends of the warp I would!!!
Seriously, that is a brilliant use of human agriculture!

>>22961379
Yeah motherfucking hats. Not some pussy visor shit thought. Real fucking hats

>>22961389
...where did this daemonette come from?
I DON'T DO SLAANESHI THINGS, OUTSIDE MY COMFORTZONE

Sorry for the disappearance again, had to do some stuff, post will be written soon (Hopefully.)

>>22961396
can i get one?

>>22961429
Your Hormissar won me over with is magnificent dancing!
Also we Nice Daemonette are always looking for friends and were hoping there would be Nids with some sense to talk with!

>>22961505
Lets get some hats.

>>22961523
...
its a trap in more ways than one.

>>22961574
No no no, traps are Tzeentchian and phalluses are too Khornate for our taste!
I'm just as trustworthy as your Hormissar, really!

>>22961658
my hormissar is on the edge of eating and promoting me that isn't helping your case.
captcha:gaystep married

>>22961658
>>22961755
and is probably going to give me a mate against my will that will either be butt ugly or beautiful, and will almost positively have mammaries filled with bioplasma

Alrighty, made a store for you guys.
Store:
>Leman Russ Upgrade: 500 Biomass
Chimera Upgrade: 350 Biomass
"Taters" Upgrade: 150 Biomass (You guys have to finalize the details!)
Hats: 1 Biomass per hat (The design is up to you, however!)
The Hive-Emperor's Hat: 999999999999999999999999999999999 Biomass.
"I ascended to Godhood, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" T-Shirt: 9 x 10^50 Biomass
Biolasgun: 10 per gun
Bio-Laspack: 4 per Biomass
Bio-Bolt: .6 Per Biomass
Termagant: 25 Biomass
Food-Ripper: 1 Per Biomass
>I'll add more along the way.
>WHAT DO YOU GUYS BUY? (You can come up with custom things too, don't be limited by the options!)

>>22961812
GUYS WE CAN GET 900 HATS

But seriously, what do the vehicle upgrades do?

>>22961812
How much biomass do we have to spend?

>>22961812
i say we get a chimera upgrade, a tater's upgrade and the rest on food rippers.

>>22961856
...enough..

>>22961859
rippers and hats!

>>22961859
The Chimera is usable, the Leman Russ only barely.
I think we should upgrade the Leman, and Taters if we have enough left over.
Steak can drive it, Tater cam fire the cannon and we can ride atop it.

>>22960874
You just need to be converted to the ways of the hive-emperor.
>captcha - lickbru concern
Why yes, captcha lickbru is a concern for Steak.

>>22961912
RIPPERS with HATS

>>22961920
also getting raped by the daemonette

>>22961926
I like your style

>>22961855
Leman Russ Upgrade basically revamps all the broken and rusted parts of the vehicle with biological components that gets the vehicle working again. Optionally, you can be immature and put some sort of inappropriate biological part on the tank. (Yes, you can putt a butt on the tank and be 5 years old. Not going to limit you guys here.)
The Chimera upgrade adds mounted biological weapons, such as a stranglethorn cannon, or a Venom Cannon. Along with this, the Chimera also comes to life.

>>22961951
>implying we won't penis cannon

>>22962037
we hopefully are more mature than that.
...

>>22961951
i vote we get the vehicles working first.

>>22962122
and rippers

>>22962037
But pyrovores are terrible.

...No vote has been decided yet guys.
Still waiting on you.

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>>22962071
Nah, a barbed strangler is just a very basic, muscled tube that stores its seeds in a sack at the base, and shoots them with a powerful spasm.

>>22962177
and my Axe!

>>22961800
>>22961755
Yes, I am at least just as trustworthy!
>>22961943
I DON'T RAPE!!!
...I cuttle...

As for what to do with your Bio-mass, I suggest upgrading the Leman Russ and Taters (perhaps into some sort of brood mother?) then using the remaining to create 50 food-rippers.

>>22962195
fuck man.
>>22962192
i think it is unanimous to fix the leman first.

>>22962203
Sorry, both upgrade only came to 650, not 850...
Hmmm... yeah, still convert the remaining 250 into Food-rippers...

You first decide to get the Leman Russ working. Slowly but surely, the tank descends into the Reclamation Pool...
>4 Hours Later.
What drives out is no longer truly a machine, Half metal, half flesh, words cannot truly describe what it is. What was once rust is now covered with hard chitin. The tank's machine spirit, now truly alive, must truly be happy.
>So no stupid additions to the tank?

>>22962203
agree until the broodmother....
i have mixed feelings about that.

>>22962252
no, no penises.

>>22962252
Other then it being a female tank, no...
I think a Female Bio-Leman Russ is enough hilarity for right now...
>>22962255
Meh, I figure if she's going to have a working womb, might as well put it to good use!
Motherhood is VERY Slaaneshi after all!

>>22962252
Give it a tail, so that it can wag its tail.

>>22962335
You see that heretic, boy? See it? Go fetch!

Possible to install a mini reclamation pool on it? able to get weapons, ammunition and small things?

>>22962291
hold on, i have an image for this where is it

>>22962335
i am okay with this.
>>22962291
no, raping the pregnant mother and the child at the same time is your way.

>>22962357
GIRL!
That way she can later complain about not having big Bio-plasma tits...

...Also if we do go with Taters as a Broodmother, she's probably going to need a second pair of regular boobs as well...

>>22962367
i like this guy, welcome to the thread

>>22962384
Imma NICE Daemonette, WE DON'T RAPE!!!
We cuddle and coddle instead!

Thanks steak. been lurking for an hour or so. Did you know wolves also like steak?

>>22962399
God dammit, stop trying to make this a fetish quest.

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>>22962371
here we go! just, replace the gutplate. and the tail doesn't get used for literally eating dicks.

>>22962399
FUCK TO THE NO!
NOT my fetish.

What's worse than fetish quest circlejerks? Why, a fetish quest tripfag circlejerk!

>>22962384
I laughed. I'm pretty sure I'm now a horrible person.
>>22962367
A reclamation pool THAT small wouldn't be able to produce anything. Except maybe a ripper to hug every once in awhile. I still wish there was a huggable ripper plushie.
>>22962335
You decide to add something else to the tank...
But what?
After a period of time having your entire force stand around staring at you and wondering why you aren't doing anything, you realize what needs to be done.
>The tank now has a tail. How do you guys come up with this stuff I will never know.
>Now confirm the details for "Taters" Upgrade already guy. We got Bioplasma breasts. Anything else?

>>22962335

Yes please.

let's see...
improved breeding speed and stamina for Steak.
reduced gestation period for the mini-steaks
improved 'features' that steak requested earlier

>>22962429
oh fuck not you too.
>>22962431
why do you think i don't trust her?

>>22962431
...Jeez, try and lighten the mood a bit with a little boob comedy...
>>22962447
...You want your kids to suckle Bio-plasma?

edit to previous post: 'for steak' means in benifit of steak's interests

>>22962460
we are trying not to be this.
i at least am.

>>22962462
Lets see,
Bioplasma tits, some ripper blades, retractable mandibles, maybe some kinda zoanothrope emitter shit to keep the nearby troops under control.

>>22962521
i don't want plasma tits in the first place!
that was someone else's idea and i joked about it!

>>22962462

First things first, give steak a large lick and comment on his enhanced goodness.

Ride our Leman russ and begin the trade network

>>22962521
they will grow tough and strong.

We need a hive mind signal booster

>>22962542
Well it looks like she's getting some...

seriously, i vote for nidly version of grandmother

>>22962583
why not switchable?
like she can will it to be either bioplasma or milk

>>22962603
Strong, tough, flying, synapse locus, and a mobile spawning pool, capable of creating a great many things.

>>22962626
Better idea. Retracting claws with another pair of arms devoted to gunmorphs. Steak gets his non plasma tits, and the ho is capable of surprise rip'n'tear bodyguard action!

>>22962626
BRILLIANT!!!
>>22962629
Indeed, but lets make sure she looks good alright?
Who says serving the Hive-Emperor doesn't have perks?

>>22962603
no no no no nono nien NEIN NEIN NEIN

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>>22962542
Say hello to your new wife, Steak.

.... you guys are fucking sadist fetishists.

>>22962692
Speaking of, we should give her a tail too. So she can wag her tail.

>>22962708
Dude that's a Grade A piece of tail right there...
Hips and knees might be a bit troublesome though...

>>22962692
...
need a human face and red hair.

>>22962708
No, we're a hivemind with little idea of what your species finds attractive! Weeeee!

You give Steak a lick, and compliment on how he still tastes delicious. He starts shaking uncontrollably for a few minutes. In the meantime, you decide it is time to give him a present for all of his contributions! You go and find Taters, the woman you found Steak with before. You tell her that it is time for her to become upgraded, and join with the Hive-Emperor. She seems delighted, and rushes forward.
Taters descends slowly into the Reclamation Pool. Steak, seemingly knowing whats going to happen, starts screaming about Bio-Plasma breasts and other silly things. Oh Steak, you are so silly sometimes. You give him a big lick to calm him down.
>2 Hours Later.
Slowly, something ascends from the reclamation pool. It's Taters. She looks the same...
Steak runs forward, seemingly relieved about something. Taters laughs in response, before mandibles shoot out of her, blades shoot out of her arms, and a tail seems to come out of nowhere.
After around 10 minutes of Steak screaming and crying, Taters explains that all of her gifts are retractable, thus allowing her to appear normal to the average human.
>Taters now has been upgraded! Along with all the explained upgrades, she also has received increased strength, endurance, and attachment to Steak. Also bio-plasma breasts. You sick fucks.

So, everyone is in favor of the Nidly Grand-mother. Steak doesn't count

FUCK PEOPLE, LETS GET BACK TO THE FUCKING QUEST, NOT GETTING ME A CTHULHU WIFE!

>>22962780
Happy Birthday Steak!

>>22962789
WELP FUCK I ALREADY WROTE UP A POST AND EVERYTHING. CTHULHU WIFE COMES LATER. (STEAK'S GETTING A HAREM? MAYBE.)

>>22962789
No, Im in favor of moving on now that we have ruined Steaks life a little bit more and got the best pet Russ anyone could ask for.

>>22962800
Real quest please. As fun as this is, I would like to convert the planet before someone remembers which button fires the cyclonic torpedoes

this hellgun is looking very, very friendly.

>>22962823
thank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank youthank you

>>22962800
I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE!!!
But yeah, lets get on with the converting.

>>22962823
-MEANWHILE, ON A SHIP ABOVE THE PLANET-
"Lord Inquisitor! We have reports of Tyranid infestations on the plane- Are.. are you having sex with a Lictor?"
"...Um...No?"
-NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING-

>>22962852
Well, unless you want cake to go with your birthday present

>>22962890
... i have never had cake.
is it good?

>>22962854
Alright, before we continue, you guys still have 250 Biomass left.
>Ripper Spawn Pool: 50 Biomass, spawns one adorable huggable ripper per day for free! Available for the Leman Russ (Come up with a name for it!)
>All other choices in the store above.

>>22962918
it;s a cake ripper!

>>22962924
i say we get a fuckton of rippers for the next pass.
>>22962935
FUCKING KNEW IT!

>>22962924
I vote we name the Leman Russ Wuffles. Just for the irony of the oh crap reactions were gonna get when we go Kool-Aid man with it

>>22962864
I APPROVE OF THIS MESSAGE!!!
>>22962918
I can make you some!
>>22962924
I'd get the Ripper spawn pool and... 100 more rippers...

>>22962854
>>22962854
actually get the pool too.
her name is dina.

>>22962970
it needs a mouth to go
"wuff wuff"

>>22962996
>>22962970
i agree with wuffles.
>>22962971
stay a healthy distance from me.
when i say healthy, i mean for you.

>>22963013
So it's also a reminder for our next upgrade

Will the russ shoot Rippers or Spore mines?

>>22963046
i like this guy's ideas.

>>22963076
>>22963046
So do i! We should make it a fire selector to choose the ammo.

Bio-wolves. IT WILL BE GLORIOUS

an idea for converting local wildlife, they wouldpatrol the less-inhabited areas, hunt as normal, and alert of any dangers VIW hive mind. might be an upgrade to rippers later, building on them.

Yes/no?
Captcha: accruss follows

>>22963046
Right now it still shoots actual rounds, but it can be modified to fire Spore mines, or even Rippers.
>>22963138
Orrr you can add that too! Maybe next pass you will be able to get it!
>>22962996
You get the Ripper Spawn Pool! You scoop up some of the reclamation pool, and manage to set up, with help, a smaller pool inside the Leman Russ, which you name Wuffles. Wuffles wags itself tail happily.

You also get a bunch of Rippers. You now have have 1100 Rippers! Your whole swarm of Rippers is adorable. You want to lick each and everyone of them. You lick Steak instead.

>>22963159
Stahp it.

>>22963159
damn boy, you deliver.
they should also be scavengers and recyclers, making sure that the waste is converted into something we use.

>>22963167
we need to make sure they stay on task, do we have some conduit for the hivemind?
wait....
i think you may have been our conduit all along.

>>22963159
Better yet, replace their stomachs with rippers. You get a whole wolf pack of stray dogs to infiltrate a town and then suddenly BOOM! rippers errywhere.

>>22963216
holy shit, i don't know how i didn't see it before.
how else could you have so much charisma?!

>>22963030
...Is that any way to attract females to your harem?

...But yeah, Wuffles the Wondertank is a great name, and a mouth on the front should be it's next upgrade.

>>22963216
boy, i don't even think we're hivemind anymore. i think the hat combined with hormissar's self aware mutation has split us from the hivemind. we are our own. we belong to the hive emperor.

>>22963288
>reach the end of quest
>“No, Hormissar, you ARE the hive-emperor”
>and then Hormissar had the best hat
>and then he licked Steak

>>22963288
....
maybe... the hormissar is...
or at one point will be....

>>22963216
>>22963229
No. Steak was the Hive-Mind itself. Taters was the Hive-Emperor. And then I was a potato. Why did I write this I have no idea.
>>22963288
Pretty much this is most likely what's going on. To be honest, I don't know myself, and I'm the one writing it.

>>22963280
god dammit, are you even really a woman?! i know how you daemonettes are!

Let us assess our position again, and take another town, and send a scouting group to gather information on the nearest city.

>>22963366
no, we need to connect our current cities and get victor back onboard as a scout.

>>22963403
pardon, towns.
been playing civ recently.

Understood. would these be a good thing to do after connecting all our glorious sandwich-making towns?

in any case, i have to sleep, then go to school in the morning.
so have fun fucking with me while i am gone
peace.

we will.

>>22963335
Eh, as long as I can get you believing in a Hive-Empress, I'm doing my job...

>>22963349
No, I'm actually an FBI agent...

>>22963493
I'm having doubts about what FBI stands for in your case.

so, our new Russ Wuffles. We shall drive it to our towns and spread out the new Laws!

>>22963641
And one of them must be to think of something nice about Wuffles!

you know, inevitably, we're going to have to fight the hive fleet. we'll need to secure and galvanize the population to repel them, and claim their biomass for us. that'll give us enough of an infrastructure to work with leading a proper campaign against the hive fleet, and get the Imperium to work with us.

And to eat our delicious sandwiches

Which town are we headed to next?

Recall Victor, revisit town 2, then 1. after we do this, Victor can be sent to recon the nearest city, while we go after towns.

>>22963436
Sadly, me and Steak are in the same situation. So I must depart for the night. Somebody keep this thread alive until tomorrow, or archive it if we're close to autosage.

>>22963788
I like intel, let's do this.

Next bout of upgrades, we need to extend Taters' tongue for maximum Steaklicks.

>>22963633
Actually it's a duel pun based on the "everyone on the Internet is an FBI agent" and the fact that I actually do get mistaken for one in public due to a lanyards I keep my ID in.
>>22963709
True enough, we've got a Planet to concur and Bio-mech ships to build!
...Should so harvest any usable materials just floating in this system as space debris...
If we're lucky we'll find a nebula made of BOOZE!

I think we should leave Steak and Tater alone until tomorrow, for maximum effect.

So... Is anyone going to take over or are we going to archive?

I would but I'm new to this adventure.

Hormissar Gaunt is the quest writer, we can storm up our course of action for now, until he comes back and writes again

>>22964003
This is a quest, not some kind of roleplay circlejerk.

>>22964199
Indeed, the best we can do right now is speculate on possible courses of action until the thread sages or the topic dies...

bumping before bed

Goddamnit /tg/, you people are the best people ever. Fetish-fuel wife for the insane guardsman, lunatic fusions of flesh and flesh or flesh and steel, and charmisatic hormagaunt commissars. Seriously, what the fuck.

>>22967867
Dont forget a tail-wagging Leman Russ

/tg/ gets shit done.
Captcha: teascie habit
yeah, i guess it is our habit to keep surprising people

Last bump before the bus picks me up.

Archived

Bump because keep it alive. Also, goddamnit, why did I not know this was still happpening?!

Incidentally, I was the guy who did the first shitty hormissar piccie.

midday bump

>>22972328
afternoon bump

>>22972547
Sit-rep Bump.

Ok, so our current plan is to get our three towns trading with one another, and pick up Victor the Lictor in Wuffles the Leman Russ so we can do some more scouting?

I approve of this course of actions.

>>22974029
aye
The Hive-quistion approves of these actions

>>22974200
Yes, certainly wouldn't want to bring Exterminomnomnomis on our heads now, would we?

-MEANWHILE IN ORBIT-
"Do I even WANT to know why you were having... relations with a Lictor?"
"I'M TELLING YOU IT WANTED IT. GOD-EMPEROR DAMNIT, WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?"
-Now Back to your Regularly Scheduled Programming-

>>22974029
You decide it's about time to head out. After getting everyone to get in their vehicles, and licking Steak a numerous amount of times, (You think his reaction is actually getting worse the more you do it) you depart from the reclamation pool, and begin to return to the second town that you had conquered.

What if... they could make sandwiches even larger? like as long as a lasgun, and as tall as our bolt pistol? Larger sandwiches for extra morale boosts?

>>22975014
Hoagies for the hive-emperor?

Also didn't you guys leave Victor at the first town?

You approach the town, noticing as the area becomes more mountainous. The air becomes noticeably chillier, which seems to unnerve some of the newer "guardifexes". Taters, meanwhile, seems to be enjoying the chill and thinner air of her hometown. Steak is beside her, seemingly trying to have a moment. You feel you'd better not disturb them...
>Do you ruin the mood?

Let steak be. he has to make the mini-steaks.

>>22975206
Aw let's not ruin the mood- we gave him a waifu because we were being nice.

Besides, there are sandwiches for us here.

So i herd there was steak here.
Wher is it??? I rlly want to meet the steak :)

>>22975244
Indeed, give the two some time alone.

(Everytime I write a post, I just look at it and wonder how I got here. I don't even know anymore.)
You decide to let them have their fun. In the meanwhile, you enter the second town, which you now know actually has a name (Tatain.)
>You guys can still opt to name the towns whatever you like.
You are welcomed in by crowds of civilians, with the original "guardifex" at the front.
>Something else still requiring a name.
>What do you guys wish to do?

>>22975407
Looks like he's held the town together well enough. I dub him Pepper. 'cause Pepper Steak is fucking delicious.

>>22975407
Well Daemonette said we were trying to get the towns trading I think, so let's see about setting up some arteries. I mean trade routes.

>>22975657
I think we should first set up some reclamation spas so there is something to be traded between them.

>>22975698
good call, we should use Tater to expound on the virtues of the spa treatments- the gifts of the hive emperor, his blessings to the loyal and true.

and then dance

>>22975698
Good point, might need to wait for some more bio mass to set up the pools first, but the trade arteries themselves can wait since we have those 12 transports.

>>22975813
Yep, Reclamation spas are the best idea. eventually one in each town.

iiii should get working on the warriors as a spec.

Should they have comrades? hrmm. nah, i think not. maybe as an expensive as fuck upgrade?

His name was alex, but I think he would like the name pepper.
And thanks for not fucking with me too much.
I agree with taters spreading the word or some such.

Side note: we need some action, so far its been silly and fetish~y.

In any case, we need to connect our towns now so we don't have to later.
And then connect the ones we conquor. We should try to get more higher-ups on our side, so I suggest we get victor and the genestealers to, "persuede" our possible endorsements to help us.

But I let that be, I have to do homework and go work out.
See you in a few houes

>>22977060
Well we have the 12 Civilian Transports, so those can probably be put to use until we get more "permanent" channels of trade set up.
And yeah, I'm all about "persuasion"!

ask what has happened to the town in our absence

Back, muddafudda, got to spar too, so I am in a good mood.
Well, we need a status report from pepper about....
I think we should name towns after certain types of sandwiches.

Yeah, had to get that out.
But we need to question my former squadmate about the condition of our town, which needs to be named butter.
See, the first town we conquored is going to be named peanut, this one butter, and the recent one jelly.

Wait, do burgers count as sandwiches? Because I want to name the hive "big mac" or "la royale with cheese".

pretty lonely in this thread.
anyone lurking?

>>22981496
lurking and skittering.

yes it does, it's stuff between 2 pieces of bread.
I vote for hive named after a large sandwich.

>>22981556
Hive Dagwood?

yes... but what to name the world? if we use the largest sandwiches for hives, what are the worlds?

we name it subway.

SO IT SHALL BE!
FOR GREATER SANDWICHES!

So, towns are sandwiches and worlds are sandwich joints.

Is the galaxy named New York?

Actually, how about the sub-sector? Sub Sector NYC. Has a nice ring to it.

>>22982539
>>22982575
...yes....
and the actual new york on terra is a holy site.

the current location of the Golden throne

>>22982835
what is really keeping the emperor alive is a tube running into his stomach, pumping a million sandwiches made by those psykers "sacrificed".

We have unraveled the secrets! we must share these truths with the world!

All bear witness to the holy sandwich-emperor and his sandwich-psykers!

>>22983136
you meant sandwich makers.

How about both. They can make sandwiches with their minds.

>>22983236
i kinda want that upgrade.

>>22983236
Welcome to PsykWay, where we know what you want before you do!

Fuck this, I'm going to Krieg in the Box

Steak requests Psyker upgrade? not sure if good idea.
i think some licking is in order. his flavor levels building up must be related to his audacity.

>>22983295
uh no.
and i didn't request it, i said it was cool.
difference.

Sadly Hormissar appears to be absent. Until he returns, we must simply stare at Steak, and persistently remind him of how delicious he tastes.

it's still time for licking.

>>22983295
I think he wants Psyker sandwich-making powers...
...I could gift them to him, but I don't think that's what he really wants...

>>22983360
you are surprisingly smart for once.
>>22983346
down dog.
>>22983345
i would say bite me, but that would have consequences.

Let's all lick Steak while he makes us sandwiches, and we mock him about his lack of psychic sandwich-making powers.

Taters can join in too.

>>22983649
on the sandwichmaking or on your belittling me?

hold on...
i want to congratulate you all, you developed and entire mythos around sandwich making and made me a wife based on your fetishes, and she was not explicitly made to make sandwiches,
classy TG, classy.

well, i gotta go to sleep.
hormissar isn't coming back in time before this autosages.
so someone update the wiki.

>>22983830
There is a wiki?