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>>22938730
It's saturday, you are home, and you've been browsing the internet for a decent part of the day, suddenly, your phone buzzes.

>>22938743
Keep browsing, if it's important he'll call back.

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>>22938776
You don't pick the phone.
"If it's important, he'll call back, what could be more important than reading other people's opinions and experiences playing my favourite game?"

>>22938956

Check out who had calling you before continue surfing the internet.

Look at porn.

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>>22938987
You check your phone just in case, looks like pete called.
Pete is part of your gaming group, you've been good friends for some time now.

>>22939145
Call back.

>>22939145
Decide to see what Pete has to say

>>22939145
Screw Pete, you have people on the internet to argue with.

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>>22939157
>>22939163
>>22939182
You call Pete back
"Yo Pete, I'm kinda busy arguing with people over the internet, what's up?"
"What do you mean by what's up? The store is open already, are you coming or what?"
Looks like you forgot that you had to run a game today!

>>22939421

Goddammit.

Oh well, go to the store, we'll have plenty of time to prove the people of the internet wrong later.

>>22939421
Get your DM esentials and go to the game.

>>22939421
Fuck that noise. Stay home. Those internet folk won't correct themselves.

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>>22939421

Scream... "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" At top of your lungs! Gathering all your DM stuff and any stuff that you need. Make sure that you have everything and start heading to the store!

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>>22939448
>>22939458
>>22939490
>>22939491
"FUCK!"
You yell, as you hang the phone.
As much as you want to prove unknown people over the internet wrong, you have to pick your stuff, go to the store, and run that game.
Now, what were you going to run...?

Roll 1d100 to choose the setting.

Rolled 39

>>22939723
Generic Medieval Fantasy.

Rolled 70

>>22939723

Old classic fantasy setting.

Rolled 70

>>22939723
Over the top dark and edgy cyberpunk

I don't normally care about quest threads one way or another but there was 8 quest threads on the front page. Why don't people get the players for their quests from /tg/ and go play elsewhere? This is silly.

Rolled 34

>>22939723
Erotically Charged Sexventures

Rolled 12

>>22939723
Light hearted planeshopping fantasy.

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Rolled 91

>>22939723
FATAL

Rolled 41

>>22939723
moe schoolgirl setting.

>>22939723

A nested setting. A medieval fantasy set in a dystopian post-apocalyptic punk setting.

Rolled 75

>>22939879
Screwed that up.

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>>22939853

Holy shit...

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>>22939853

>mfw

>>22939853
The image just fucking seals it..

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Rolled 28

>>22939853
Well, I guess I'll go kill myself.

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>>22939853

Rolled 89

>>22939723

Uhm... Terror Network

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Rolled 55

>>22939853

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Rolled 36

Shadowrun

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Rolled 74

D&D 3.5. It's 2013, you're running late, and everyone has smart phones - let them get their god damn source books off the SRD.

Rolled 19

Rerolling for fatal confirmation
Do the gods will it?

Rolled 30

>>22940037
Only if you you consider getting it coming AND going a Divine Blessing.

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>>22939853
You pick the book up in mild disgust, you will never know for sure what made you actually agree on running this.
"Damn bets, dude.."

Rolled 10

Maid RPG

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>>22939853
The setting is FATAL. The Dice Gods have willed it so.

You are running a game of normal people in a world of terrifying combat penises, rape demons, pooping back and forth forever, and anal circumference.

All they want to do is escape back to a normal world, or find a way to kill themselves that takes the rest of FATALworld with them.

Rolled 53

>>22940037

They laugh in your face.

>>22940063

Take a big breath and try to think that you are a DM, you don't need to follow all the rules... Now start heading to the store.

First thing that should be said they sit down is " Roll for anal circumference."

>>22940072
I left in a hurry. Ask if anyone got some snaks

>>22940130
this.

>>22940154
Cook from the Natural Harvest recipe book?

>>22940063
don't forget all your LARPing gear

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>>22940104
On your way to the store, a young woman aproaches you.
"Excuse me sir, you got the time?"

Rolled 43

>>22940199
It's time.... TO DM

>>22940199
Spaghetti everywhere

>>22940199
Ask her to roll for anal circumference

>>22940199

"Begone foul succubus! You'll not get my wizard hood!"

>>22940215
>>22940222
>>22940225
"It's time to DM now roll f-f-fore a-anal circumference!!"

>>22940199
shiiit, forgot to add: roll 1d100, again

Rolled 62

>>22940199
"Nope." Then keep on walking.

Rolled 80

>>22940236

Well then my vote go for

>>22940222
>>22940225
>>22940227
All of them

Rolled 85

>>22940236

"It's time to DM now roll f-f-fore a-anal circumference!!"

Rolled 2

>>22940199
"Time to get a watch!"
Run like a madman past her.

Rolled 36

>>22940199
"Will you marry me, Heather?"

Rolled 29

>>22940236
Mumble and sputter. Don't forget to fidget. Say thank you as we part.

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Rolled 67

>>22940199
"Y-You too..."

Then pick up the pace and get the hell out of there.

God Damned fucking fake nerd girls.

Rolled 15

Smile broadly while looking at her in the eyes "Of course" Wink

dice+1d100
punch her and run

Rolled 71

>>22940521
what am i doing???

Sing her the song of your people.

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>>22940253
"It's time to DM now roll f-f-fore a-anal circumference!!"
The girl stands there, in shock.
"I think I broke her"

Rolled 63

>>22940545
FUCK

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Rolled 73

>>22940199
You wouldn't be playing FATAL if you weren't a depraved sexual deviant.

Show her your sundial.
by sundial, I mean your penis
and by 'show' I mean rape her.

Rolled 5

>>22940550
Run while the she-beast is confused.

Rolled 18

>>22940550
take her to the shop

Rolled 52

>>22940561
I support this endeavor.

Rolled 92

>>22940561
do that.
but in a alley

Rolled 95

>>22940550
Drag her with you and force her to play FATAL with you and inroduce her as your qt3.14 gf.

>>22940550
oh god op, i fucking love this!
my sides have left this planet

Rolled 92

>>22940639
do that but fuck her first

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>>22940639
holy shit

>>22940700
don't.
WE ARE TURNING INTO A WIZARD I SAY

Rolled 19

>>22940700
>>22940639
Welp.

Cant argue with those rolls.

Or can I?

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>>22940631
>>22940639
>>22940700

Why Dice Gods? Why...?

Rolled 71

>>22940710
Rolling for wizardhood

>>22940756
i pity you

Rolled 68

>>22940772
So, seems like we will be dragging her to an alley and raping her before taking her to our FATAL game.

This quest was fun guys.

>>22940772

Their lust for flesh must be satiated before the destination can be reached .

>>22940550
Become dice god

>>22940772
because the dice gods are awesome

Rolled 69

>>22940853
ugh, dice not roll...

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>>22940639
You make your way to the store, carrying the girl on your shoulder.
You friends faces show confusion
"What's that?"
"It's my qt3.14 gf!"

Rolled 55

>>22940891
Roll for anal circumference.

Rolled 21

>>22940891
Tell everyone you're going for an all-Anakim game this time.

Rolled 53

>>22940891
She wants to play a seductress. Her characers anal circumference is 45 in and vaginal capacity is 200 in

Rolled 17

>>22940891
Throw the girl on the table and use her too draw your maps, ect on

Rolled 7

>>22940891
Sit her down on your lap and begin to let everyone make their characters. Hopefully she won't feel the rage within your pants.

>>22940891
Tell everyone you are pleased that they have once again gathered under the guise of a gamegroup, and that the meeting to decide how to take over the world will commence right after you robo-dick this chick.
Character backstory: Ran over by a train, everything under the waist replaced by robotic dicks

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Rolled 79

>>22940891
>>22940891
Convince her that's just how you introduce people to your group

Rolled 7

>>22940891
Gag her and tie her up, just in case. Tell them she's into bondage and plays all rpgs this way.

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Rolled 37

>>22940891

Tell the player that you will the runs the rules little loosely as you gently putting the girl on her chair.

Then you say... "Roll for anal circumference gentlemen..."

Rolled 83

>>22940891

say "dude don't worry, she is a total NERD GIRL"
and she will play the feminist mage girl

Rolled 51

>>22941025
second

Rolled 59

>>22940891
Take out your DM's screen, and sit down behind it frowning at people.

>>22941025
feminist mage girl?
Is that a recurring thing?

Rolled 71

>>22941041

This, but use the girl AS the screen. Write everything important down on her.

Rolled 80

>>22940891
Announce that today you're all playing strip FATAL.

>>22941051
dude

Rolled 60

>>22940891
Tell them she's really into roleplay and wants to play as the captive. She gets really into her parts but it's just a part of the rp. Tell them to always talk to her in character

Rolled 46

>>22941025
>>22941093
>>22941102
DESE

Rolled 25

>>22941093
Seconding

Rolled 28

>>22941093
Rng gods don't let us down!

This went downhill in record time didn't it?

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>>22941159
What do you mean? This is better than expected

Rolled 55

>>22941159
It's FATAL the rng gods put a curse on this game since it's conception.

>>22941159
if by downhill you mean got epic

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>>22941025
"Dude don't worry, she is a total NERD GIRL"
You say, as yoou let her loose from your grip.
"She looks... unconscious"
"She'll be fine! She sais she was going to play the feminist mage girl!"
"Alright..."

Rolled 97

>>22941199
Now, let's roll up your characers... I see my qt3.14 gf is the groups captive.

Rolled 43

>>22941199
Start the game in a bar, and all the players are drunk as fuck

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Rolled 66

>>22941199
Become dice god, tell them no fun, FATAL only, final destination

Rolled 25

>>22941199
Ask about their character. Them explain this adventure will take place in a boat that is actually a huge wooden shipcity with sails.

Rolled 89

>>22941199
Ok, let's roll.

If I remember correctly, the campaign was taking place in Neverland, with peter pan and the rest.
Peter is a NPC, the PCs are children he took there and then forgot about.

>>22941228
haha, wow.

Rolled 63

>>22941199
while they roll their characters you sing "WHERE THERE'S A WHIP, THERE'S A WAY"

>>22941199
we should totally use the computer and post on /tg/ a that guy thread

Rolled 53

>>22941199
Roll characters, female is a elven mage who speaks in rhyme otherwise DM slaps her IRL for not sticking to character

Rolled 7

>>22941359
guy with glasses(his name is matt) is bear-druid

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>>22941228
"Now, let's roll up your characers... I see my qt3.14 gf is the groups captive!"
You say as you seat, and place the unconscious woman besides you.
"We'll roll anal circunferences later!"
You say, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

The whole group starts making their characters, what will they be? There are four of them plus the girl.

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Rolled 83

ONE OF THE PARTY HAS A HALFLING NAMED BILBO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BILBO

Rolled 83

>>22941445
One of them will be a banana, a very persuasive and charming banana.

captcha: aysthe declares

Rolled 15

>>22941445
ONE OF THEM SHALL BE PLAYING AS FY-TOR, THE HALF-DWARF CATBOY FIGHTER.

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Rolled 3

>>22941445
The biggest neckbeard is playing a half-fae catboy nympho

Rolled 79

>>22941445
One is building an Anakim DC80 Escape Artist.

Rolled 58

one of the party members adapt's meepo to fatal and says "original character do not steal" while singing where there's a whip there's a way

>>22941445
dwarf fighter who acts like Richard Simmons. Complete with random exercise bursts.
Girl is >>22941359

Rolled 28

>>22941506
forgot to roll

Rolled 51

>>22941506
she is also a feminist please.

the parody reings

Seriously, what's the "feminist mage" idea from? Google isn't very helpful.

>>22941559
I don't think it's from anything. Though the idea of a feminist anything in FATAL is pretty hilarious.

Rolled 44

>>22941445
1. Human Male Barbarian named Barbaroth
2. Half-elf female rogue called Silk. Player is a gross hambeast
3. A sentient blob of ooze
4. A female human paladin seeking the man that raped her, and her mother, than came back to rape her brother, his own son resulting of the raping of the mother. She wants to rape him in vengeance.

Rolled 69

>>22941559
she is a TOTAL NURRRD GUURRLL.
she is supposed to be a dumbass

Rolled 55

>>22941584
Barbaroth Barbosa, he has a red beard.

Rolled 70

>>22941445
One of the guys plays a mary sue.
The character is female and it is the worst mary sue possible.

Rolled 85

>>22941584
they are played by man.

except for the captive

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I made this for you /tg/

Rolled 15

http://www.youtube . com/watch?v=YdXQJS3Yv0Y

Rolled 43

>>22941445
One is playing as an old bearded homosexual sailor.

Rolled 37

>>22941621
Can I roll for this guy's idea?

Rolled 56

>>22941445
One is playing as a female with max int, charasma, attractiveness but has only one strength

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Rolled 84

they were sent to find the rapist by the giant cat-dragon, smaug

Rolled 4

>>22941621
My vote goes to this one!

Rolled 10

one of them has a horn that makes dragons sleep

Jesus christ, I'm tired guys.
Let's do it this way, the four highest character rolls get done next time.
See you... next week perhaps?

Rolled 24

>>22941445
Well the girl is a captive feminist mage with no magic.

Rolled 30

>>22941727
NO!

Rolled 94

>>22941727
fucking lazy-ass dm

couldn't even wait for the first time we rape someone

>>22941750
>>22941773
What about doing it tomorrow, sounds better?

>>22941800
sure

Rolled 37

>>22941800
Same time?

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>>22941800

I am laughing so hard at this thread. This is epic.

>>22941856
Bit earlier perhaps, around 17:00, london timezone.

Anyone getting this into the archives?

>>22941958

Just added. Here we go, guys: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/22938730/

>>22941894
I'm more than ok with this, most I've laughed at a Quest thread in a long time.
Mostly due to the fact the Dice gods love to be that guy.

>>22941449
>Rolled 83: ONE OF THE PARTY HAS A HALFLING NAMED BILBO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BILBO

>>22941483
>Rolled 83: One of them will be a banana, a very persuasive and charming banana

>>22941490
>Rolled 79: One is building an Anakim DC80 Escape Artist.

>>22941689
>Rolled 84: they were sent to find the rapist by the giant cat-dragon, smaug

Well, this were the 4 higher roles, unless you consider that a single guy:

>>22941634
>Rolled 85
>>22941584
>>they are played by man.except for the captive

Should decide the entire party. Either case, Elegan/tg/entleman, this is our party.


Also, OP, to be your first quest thread, this one was epic!

>>22941638
Sweet, thanks!