look around, try not to freak out

Rolled 3

>>22923981
...

>>22923981
You look around your old septic tank bolthole. You have a three bottles of water, a can of fresca, and a bag of cheese-its in there. And copious amounts of mud. You also have your cellphone with you.

You did come here under your own free will John, though you do suspect if you had not you'd likely be getting shot up by Carson and his goons. You do not freak out, though part of you feels bothered that you left 60k in that house along with your prize cockfighting rooster.

You could've used that money to get out of this craphole town. But that's too late. You're down here now. And you are calm. Nobody else knows about this bolthole, not even the zoning committee.

Rolled 4

>>22924046
eat some cheezits. masturbate furiously.

>>22924132
Well, it's not like you have anything better to do with your life John. You're light-headed down here in the darkness with the dingy air and the fear of possibly getting scalped if you go up too soon.

You eat some cheese-its and when the boredom gets to you, pull down your jeans and begin pumping your twinkee. Because you are, if nothing else, the exact sort of man who would begin masturbating furiously in an abandoned old septic tank.

You seem to be having a grand old time until you reach your vinegar strokes and wonk the back of your head on some of the metal lining. When you try to rub your head because you hurt yourself you bang your elbows on the sides. Which causes you to shift and bang your knee.

You're unaware if you release because of pain and darkness and the lack of proper air down here. But the whole tank smells terrible right now, so you might've done something right.

What now John, or dare I even ask?

Rolled 1

>>22924208
Oh look, the fucker's back up to his usual shit again. How many times do I have to say that he should just man the fuck up and fucking off himself before he actually fucking does it?

Sadly, this is a highly inconvenient time for me, but if it's still going in a couple hours, I should be able to jump in.

>>22924421
I've got nothing to do all night. I'll be here.

John, you hear that? That's the not so subtle voice of all the right and correct individuals in your head telling you to off yourself. You were making a lot of progress too, but here you are. In the hole. Fapping. Banging up your limbs. And I was in your head for that, John. I know what you were picturing and it was hardly what any of us would consider erotic.

Well, what now John? If you're going to kill yourself I'd advise letting Carson do it. At least then you can take him down with you on murder charges and not have your parents consider you a complete and total fuck-up. No matter how true that may be.

I don't like helping you out John. I like to be the impartial observer who is slightly biased against you for the greater amusement of us all.

Leave and get a gun, steal it

We are going to kill some people

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>>22924489
That would require you knowing where you can get a gun. You know someone who could hook you up, or at the very least who you could steal one from. Sadly he hates your guts. But leaving sounds like a nice idea John. Nothing wrong with getting up out of the hole.

So that's what you do. You poke up your hatch a little and gaze out into your yard. You can see some people leaving your house from beyond the line of the pine trees. Or rather, you can see their shoes and pants.

Once they depart you get back out of the hole, coated in mud, cheese-it crumbs, and a bit of ejaculate on your shirt. You're going to kill some people.

Armitage has guns, but he hates your guts. Lynn went through a survivalist phase, but she's a psycho ex-girlfriend. Amelia wouldn't have one. Andi might, but he's also kinda off. Tito owns some, but he's sketchy as fuck. Carson has guns, he'd use them on you.

You sigh. Where to now, John?

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>>22924587
Well John, since you don't seem to know much of where you'll go to steal a gun, let's consider your environs.

You live in Fulton, NY. Which is a shithole town. It thinks it's better than Oswego, NY, which is like the breadbasket of white trash and broken promises in central New York. Andi lives here, across the river in a much nicer apartment than you. Amelia lives in a pre-fabricated house outside of town with her cousin. Toby and Armitage live in a crack house you used to delivery things to. Carson has a business here.

The forests are beautiful and dense, you could probably hide a body here. Go far enough out, gunshot could become a "hunting accident".

You could go outside of town to the south. Get far enough into the meth problem area where you run some cockfights, easy to hide out there. Drop a corpse.

You could also drop a body in the river. Sink it. Let the lamprey and carp feast on it.

The town is a piece of crap after the Nestle factory closed out and that other plant got outsourced. Most people in this town are scum, like you and Tito and Andi. But they are probably not thinking of offing someone and going through with it today.

They also probably didn't spend time hiding away in a bolthole and also probably didn't lose 60k. Those are your prospects, John. Consider them.

Rolled 3

>>22926301

So, Amelia's still on the list?
Top priority- get us a woman. Let's go find Amelia.

>>22927400
Amelia. Well that's a good idea, John. Better than standing around coated in mud, ejaculate, and cheese dust in your back yard.

You have her cellphone number, but you also know where she lives and where she works. It's all a matter of how you wish to contact her and what exactly that might mean.

Showing up at work is very passive. And she is working today. Possibly still working.

Going to her house might be strange if she's still at work. And calling her might be an issue if she's still working.

But finding her, while irrational, seems like a better idea than getting a gun and killing peeps.

So, how do you intend to do this John?

Rolled 5

>>22927443

Making a declaration of love at work would be expedient, let's go with that.

Where are self loathing and thanatos, anyways? It's much more fun I'm not the only one driving with dumb ideas.

>>22927443
Showing up unannounced at he place of work covered in mud, semen, and cheese dust seems like a good idea.

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>>22927696
>>22927694

Looking away from the knowledge and logic one might have of showering, brushing oneself off, or just changing their damn clothing you decide to make your way to the Dunkin Donuts as is. It's not as though Carson and his goons might be out and about looking for you.

You disregard checking to see what they've actually taken from your house--as they most certainly were there--and you head down to Parkway Avenue, walking. Because you don't have a car apparently, that you can remember, and it seems like the logical thing to do.

When you get towards main street you begin to notice the scum-soaked degenerate Fultonians looking on you in disgust. You stink of the earth and have all the pleasantries of a hobo about you. You're making your family proud, John. You see a few cops walking around, but none of them give you more than a second glance. Riley must not have reported your attempted blowjob/mugging.

You pass Andi's shop, he's talking to some rough looking fellows you can't quite remember but something makes you think it's better that way.

You pass Tito's gas station, and there's a fancy car getting filled up. You can see Tito talking to a man dressed like a mechanic in a porno.

You head to the Dunkin Donuts, with absolutely no money in your pockets and open the door. Amelia is working the counter. It is a lull in service at the moment. Some old folks eat bagels and read the Palladium Times.

She smiles at first, but when you approach the counter she looks shocked. And a little disgusted.

"John...did you get buried alive?"

Well casanova, a declaration of love needs words behind it.

>>22927729
"You could say that I've found something buried inside me, and I need to let it out. Wanna go bump uglies?"

>>22927800
You look at Amelia and...well yes it would be funny to say something like that. But you'd likely get slapped. Or kicked out of here. And you were doing quite well with her earlier. While the confident approach might be successful, it might also make you come across as arrogant, vapid, stupid, and utterly incompetent.

You've heard better lines out of pornos, and she seems genuinely concerned. But...if it's funny, perhaps you should say it.

Gonna need a roll on that one if ya please.

"I was subterranean. Can I get hosed off? My apartment is...unavailable."

>>22927846
"You could say that I've found something buried inside me, and I need to let it out. I got feelings for ya babe. So, wanna bump uglies?"

>>22927941
>>22927931
Well. You might be able to salvage something out of that. You clear your throat, slick your hair back a little. Get some mud on the ground. She doesn't know if she should laugh or not.

"I was subterranean. You could say I found something buried inside of me that I need to let out...can I get hosed off? My apartment is unavailable."

And you try to give her a look of confidence. She looks around the shop and tugs on the collar of her shirt. "I'm gonna...tell my manager I need to take a friend home because he--and I mean you--look like you just crawled your way out of a coffin."

She walks off to go speak to her manager. She's been working a long shift. And this was awkward. But you have an in. Hot'cha.

What now?

Rolled 6

>>22928001

Slick our hair back with whatever it's caked with right now. Ride this fleeting feeling of self satisfaction before those other nagging voices kick in.

>>22928001
Rolled a 6

Politely take a seat next to the largest burly man you can find.

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>>22928023
You slick your hair back and ride this very rare feeling of self-satisfaction. She's into you, and you're putting her into a position as a caregiver, making her important. Allowing her to hose you off at her place because you're close to her. That's awesome. You're awesome. Go you John, you're going to have a good day.

And hey, with this new Alpha Male Status, why don't we address another issue. Namely that Carson just stepped into the Dunkin Donuts and is waiting behind you in line.

>>22928035
You wink at him. "I'll be sitting by the window."
He looks at you, and in his deep, raspy, smug as fuck voice, he replies. "Oh Johnny-boy, I am ever so goddamn happy you're not gonna run. We need to talk."

You go and sit by the window. Amelia takes Carson's order as she begins taking off her work apron. Carson gets a hot coffee. And then he comes and sits next to you. You can catch a glimpse of Amelia looking very distraught over this, possibly for many good reasons.

Carson sips his coffee. "You're an asshole, John. You know that? You took back what was mine, you ran with it, and you didn't have the balls to hand it over in person. What gives? This isn't how we work."

Look for a hose, even sitting soggy in a car is better than being covered in this...shit...

Besides, it would be rude to get crap on her car.

>>22928086
Quick, check inventory.

Also, "And I suppose this alleged item was rightfully earned?"

Rolled 1

>>22928035
This.

>>22928086
Rolled a 5

Are you going to say anything of worth? Because you're boring me.

>>22928125
"And I suppose this alleged item was rightfully earned?" Is your witty quip. He looks at you like you're goddamn bonkers.

"Yeah John. I paid you two-fifty and gave you that bashed-up Saab from the lot for El Sancho. You said that was more than fair."

>>22928138
"Are you going to say anything of worth? Because you're boring me?" You flash a grin. There's a fire in your eyes. Carson looks spooked.

"Whoa, easy champ. I dunno who pissed in your kool-aid but you've been a real dick since the party." He points to Amelia. "And who's the wage slave, I thought I had ya pinned real well Johnny."

Amelia sighs and looks at her sneakers. Carson gets up and whispers something to her. She pales at it. And then he looks back at you. "Don't fuck with me again John. We were tight. I know Armitage wants your goddamn head on a platter--frankly I can blame him even less after this rudeness. He and Toby are looking for you still. I called Diego off. But you fuck with me again, issues gonna be deeper."

He departs.

Amelia looks at you and coughs into her fist. It seems the appropriate motion, she has no idea what is happening as far as you can tell. "John...what was that all about?"

She's concerned. And apparently unaware of your criminal side. How should this be approached?

>>22928138
Clarification: That is what he should say.

>>22928237
Daydream about her being your wife.

Rolled 4

Oh, so you just gonna bail on me like that? I thought we were compadres.

>>22928237
Lie
He thinks I took his girl at some party, he'll get over it....

>>22928237
Rolled a 5

"I explored my sexuality, I made someone less of a man, I dug deep and climbed out of a pit of inner madness, and now I need to get cleaned up, get a car, and skip town. Any questions?"

>>22928275
Very well. John, I'm going to step aside for a moment and let you picture the suburban bliss of Amelia being your wife. Picture the frilly sundresses she'll wear at the BBQs while you paint the white picket fence. Your two children--clearly untouched by your drug habits--are perfectly healthy. The boy plays football, the girl has pigtails. The Andy Griffith show theme plays. You even have---

>>22928289
---El Sancho! Your meal ticket! 250 measly bucks and a car?...And you can't remember where either of those even are! El Sancho, though shalt be revenged. For what is a Man without his Sancho?! And how will you ever make money? Dealing drugs works, but cockfighting was so much easier...

>>22928300
You look at Amelia and lie. Well, it might be a lie. Your memory still isn't all the way back.

"He thinks I was making moves at some girl of his at a party...He'll get over it."

You and Amelia walk out of the Dunkin Donuts and to her big blue pick-up truck. The back of it is loaded with workman's tools. You climb in the passenger side and she turns the machine on.

She looks at you and sighs a little. "John, are you gay?"

Well John, are you?

>>22928335
"I explored my sexuality. But uh..."

She just frowns. "Because I mean, back in high school anyway...I always sort of assumed."

"Well yeah--"

"And you always hang out with Andi. And he's...I don't know what he is. But he's not good."

She just sighs and pulls out of the parking lot and begins to drive out of the town. "Just forget I said anything. Lets--Let's get you cleaned up."

She smiles. It's a kind smile. But it's scared.


Well John, let's forget those silly parts about insanity. That's a no-no topic.

>>22928379
Rolled a 1

Turn on the radio to 98.4 The Greatest Classic Rock Hits of All Time
Gotta jam out

Rolled 2

"Those your tools?" Roll your wimpy shoulders. "I'm a bit of a handyman myself."

Rolled 6, 5 = 11

>>22928379
Chat her up, that's what normal people do right?
So yeah my day was pretty crazy, but how was yours?

>>22928435
You turn on the radio, without asking permission. Creedence Clearwater Revival is playing "Bad Moon on the Rise." She seems to like this song, as her mouth lips the chorus lyrics.

>>22928463
"Those your tools?" You roll your wimpy shoulders and get comfortable. "I'm a bit of a handyman myself."

She giggles. "Sure you are John. I remember shop class with you."

You vaguely remember making a terrible birdhouse which your parents sold in a yard sale before moving to Florida. In the nickel basket.

>>22928473
"So how was your day? I mean, mine's been...crazy. But uh, how was yours?"

She keeps her hands at 10 and 2 and gives you a brief bit of eye-contact. "Oh y'know. Manager is a jerk, she's balding. Worked late last night, and this morning. Just looking forward to a few days off. Kick up my feet. Watch some movies. We've got a game with Lynn and Chuck this Wednesday--did you forget about that?--and I dunno, maybe we could hand. You seem like you could use some normal in your life."

Now isn't that the truth, John?

>>22928533
Rolled a 4

Start singing along with it. It'll help you two bond.

Rolled 6

>>22928533
Try not to think about are fantasies of making her pregnant

Rolled 2

>>22928533
"Yeah. I'll try to make it. Wednesday." Gaze wistfully out upon the shitty landscape. "All respect to Dunkin D, but what do you really want to be doing? If you had, say, fifty grand and a chance to escape, what would you be getting up to?"

>>22928566
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdNhpPhpe4w


She can't stop laughing, because your voice cracks on the high part. Your voice is not made for singing. Maybe it's one too many dicks sucked, or one too many punches to the face. Or just no talent.

>>22928597
"I'll try to make it Wednesday." You gaze wistfully out on the shitty landscape. The abandoned waterfront river factories which seem to produce only broken glass and barb wire are soon replaced by low income housing.

"You better, John. We're going to retake the homeworld." She tries not to sound as nerdy as she is. "And Lynn seems to have it out for us, but it'll be fine. We've got plans."

You just nod. You barely remember the campaign. Memory is a tricky thing John, as I've told you. You hardly know the important thing about you. But, let's be audacious.

"Hey, all respect to Dunkin D, but what do you really want to be doing? Like say if you had...fifty grand and a chance to escape, what would you be getting up to?"

She nods as though you asked the simplest question in the world. "Homesteading in New Mexico. Build a nice couple of homesteads, have a little farm, get solar panels, just...chill. Away from fucking New York State taxes. Maybe get a tattoo, practice ancient Hopi religion...I dunno. I wouldn't play the lottery or something stupid. Maybe I'd go back to community college. I was going to be an architect, y'know?"

You didn't.

You arrive at her terrible place-down housing. It looks like a storage shed you put trucks in, suspended over some cement blocks. Bigger than your place. Poverty is universally shaming.

She gets out of the car and you hop out after. She walks over to the side of the house, gets a hose, and looks down at you trying to conceal a grin and a blush. "Got any lotion?"

"What?"

"...cuz or else it gets the hose again?"

You force a smile. What.

She begins spraying you with the hose.

>>22928579
You conceal any fantasies of filling her up with your rancid, drug-addled spunk and making her produce two kids who would probably grow up taller, stronger, and saner than you.

Oh god, what if they were crazier John? Wouldn't that be funny. I wonder if I could---well, let's keep those fantasies out of here. For good.

Rolled 3

Jesus christ how erotic.

Make a move John

>>22928712
As she begins hosing you off, you pick up on the sexual tension thick enough to cut off your air supply. You smile at her and slowly begin pulling your shirt over your head. You're gonna go full Coyote Ugly strip tease on this bitty.

You roll your shoulders and when that shirt comes off you snap it a few times and discard it. She gazes at your chest, a thin and broken thing built for running and sneaking into places like a rat. You've got the short lithe build of a professional second-story man or child stripper.

She's blushing up a storm and has a huge goofy smile on you. You unbutton the front of your fly and just smile as though "Oh hey, I popped my fly, this happens every day" was nothing. And you shrug all subtle like.

John, I do believe you have game. How shocking. She's just looking at you. Spraying your chest with water.

"Well hello Miss Amelia, I know you've wanted me since high school. I am ready to deliver."

She raises the hose up and sprays you in the face and head. The muck comes washing off. But it's clear she was caught off guard and very much not ready for that.

She stammers and nothing intelligible comes out.

>>22928702
Rolled a 2

Inconspicuously check your pockets for a condom. You've fucked up your life so far, you don't need little versions of you. Or a STD. Or both.

Rolled 3

>>22928807
Put holes in the condom

>>22928807
You pull your wallet out of your pants. "Reggae For Life" on black duct tape wallet, which does not even contain your ID, let alone any cash or god help you a condom.

You never took care of that back home. And that's probably an issue.

Amelia tenses up and clears her throat. "Yeah uhm...John, you look clean to me now. Maybe--maybe we can talk about this or uhm...How come your place isn't available right now?"

>>22928845
John, I'm against you most of the time and even I think that's cruel. Of course, you don't have any condoms so it's a moot point.

Amelia doesn't seem to be able to commit at the moment. If only your unspeakable rage, various sexualities, or kill impulses were present. We'd be having a party.

"...I'm gonna go take a shower. You uh...you can have a beer or watch the TV if Douggie isn't playing his dumbie video games."

Rolled 5

Carry her across the doorway like a geriatric pensioner's petite young bride. Lift from the knees and you'll probably be fine. God I hope for your spine's sake she's petite.

>>22928887
Rolled a 5

Go show Douggie how a real man plays dumbie video games.
I suggest left right up down L R start select.

>>22928939
Well. John. You bastion of iron thews and strong back (you have been on it quite often), why not try to perform a gesture of supreme romance. You approach her from behind and try to sweep her off her feet like you're a groom and she's a bride.

Oh lord she's heavy, isn't she John? And that's not because she's fat, it's because you are weak. Remember how Riley took you down so damn fast? You should consider working out.

She's nervous and caught off guard. You try to get her up the door steps, but you fall on your ass, and her ass falls on your belly, and all the air in you comes blasting out. You wheeze.

"...dude, I get it but---can we maybe take this slow? I...I've heard how you operate and I like you but I don't want to be that....I want to be better than that, you know?"

She gets off you and helps you up. She smiles, but it's pitious. She goes and takes a shower.

>>22928942
The inside of the house is uniform and drab. Dark. Lots of boxes, as though she never really moved in. A small TV near a ratty old couch. The decor is 1970s handymedowns. A door is labelled "Douggie" and it is covered in World of Warcraft Posters. You go to show him how a real man games, but the door is locked.

"Just leave it on the counter, I'll eat it later!" is the mouth-breathing response you get.

>>22929042
Rolled a 6

Find the Internet modem. Unplug it. Hide the cord.

Rolled 5

"No, Douggie. The time of reckoning...is now."

>>22929113
You search the remainder of the house, which is barely even a one-room affair. You find no internet modem and come to the conclusion that such devices would likely be kept in the room of the one who'd use it the most. It is after all, a very small home.

>>22929125
You knack on the door three times and done.
"No, Douggie. The time of reckoning...is now."

It takes a moment before you hear a grumble. "The fuck does that even mean? Listen, I'm in the middle of something here. If you're here for Amelia, I think she's in the shower. Jesus Christ--" He starts mumbling and hacking.

You feel a brief tension in the back of your skull John. You get a little dizzy and sit down on the couch. You look at the beat up old television. The shower is still going strong in the background.

You can hear a ringing in your head.

Rolled 2

fucking pick up ese

You really should put 'Quest' in your title. It's kind of annoying having to make custom subject filters every other day

>>22929193
Rolled a 4

A red haze clouds your vision, and you stomp to Douggie's room, and prepare to slam the keyboard on his head. That'll be some real hacking.

Rolled 1

turn on tv

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>>22929251
You look around and you pick up your hand and hold it to your head. Banana phone style. Douggie's in the depths of something stupid; albeit not possibly as stupid as this. Amelia's in the shower.

You look at yourself in the television's reflection and sigh.

"Hello?"

"Hello John."

You jump. I know John, that is strange. You check to see if you buttdialed someone. No John, life isn't that simple. You're special. You look around, maybe Douggie is fucking with you. Fucking geeks.

"John. You haven't been performing adequately."

You don't know what to say. Frankly John, that's not my voice. This is something beyond you or I. Perhaps this is true madness. Look at your lips in the television when you talk, maybe you're simply playing ventriloquist and you are terrible with puppets.

"All right fucker, who is this?" Is what you say.

"Don't call me fucker." Is what you hear as your lips don't move. "John, we paid you to do your job. Your job is not done. You haven't eaten. You haven't dealt with the situation."

You close your eyes. This voice is cold, reverberating. Almost mechanical. "John. We paid you. You've disappointed. And you have to put down the phone if you want me to stop talking."

>>22929366
You slowly move your hand from your ear and turn on the television. The screen is static and the sound is loud.

You flip it off. Your eyes are jaundiced beyond belief. Perhaps this is just the drugs, John. It's still only the first day. Or maybe things are getting worse.

You scowl at the TV and turn it back on. The Price is Right. Drew Carrey is sickly thin now. Best to let yourself be distracted and try to rationalize this all away.

You never want to be -too- special John.

Not enough players for tonight, but I had a spot of fun. Might try at another time or a better time, and I suppose I'll put Quest in the title next time as this is less a collective game when there aren't a dozen personalities floating about. Have a lovely night.